


Chronicles of a Legend Part II - The Rebirth of a Legend

by Pinoko_K



Series: Chronicles of a Legend [2]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2 - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 208,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinoko_K/pseuds/Pinoko_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 2 of the trilogy. (AU setting starting from Horizon) The long lost hero resurfaces after two years. But her sudden appearance raises too many questions and suspicions. Rejected by her previous allies, Shepard is now forced to work with the enemies to take down another threat to the galaxy while fighting an internal battle on her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Chronicles of a Legend: The Rebirth of a Legend. Part 2 of the trilogy. The long lost hero resurfaces after two years. But her sudden appearance raises too many questions and suspicions. Rejected by her previous allies, Shepard is now forced to work with the enemies to take down another threat to the galaxy while fighting an internal battle on her own. Meanwhile, Kaidan's world once again crumbled with words of Shepard's reappearance reach him.

  
A/N: This is part 2 of a trilogy, Chronicles of a Legend. Like part 1, I don't have a beta reader, so please excuse any typos and mistakes. You can reach me through pinoko19 at gmail, or tumblr under pinoko_k, or just leave a note here. Love to hear from you. Now, let's continue Aerin Shepard's story.  


Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chronicles of a Legend

Part II: The Rebirth of a Legend

Prologue

Year: 2186CE

Location: Alliance Headquarters, Vancouver  


Another pointless session, another hour wasted while the Reapers were still out there. Shepard had no choice but to sit down in this comfortable chair across from the psychiatrist the Alliance had assigned to 'evaluate her mental state' before she could be reinstated. Shepard almost snorted at that excuse; it was nothing more than a candy-coated, softer approach of an interrogation.

How long did the Alliance need to interrogate her before they decided to believe her that the Reapers were coming? It'd been almost six months since she had voluntarily returned to the headquarters and handed over her Normandy, Shepard's patience had ran thin. An impending invasion was coming, and the brass still refused to open their eyes and smell the shit. Instead, they insisted on monitoring every second of her life here in the detention center, even assigning a young marine to be her guard as if she could escape the Alliance fortress unarmed. While Shepard was flattered they overestimated her combat prowess, she couldn't help but frown at their collective intelligence. If she wanted to escape, why would she even bother to turn herself in six month ago?

Although Shepard did feel sorry for the young marine who was assigned to be her glorified babysitter. Right now, outside this office, James Vega must be bored out of his mind waiting for this session to end before he could escort her back to her cell.

_You and me both, Vega._

“You've been through a lot in your life,” Dr. Troy started with her soothing voice. “But none can be as traumatizing as dying.”

Shepard turned her attention to the psychiatrist with a neutral expression. She merely nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Shepard maintained her composure despite her elevated heart rate. “The details are in the report, I'm sure.”

“But those are just facts. How do you feel about that event?”

“How do I feel?” Shepard shook her head with a tiny smirk. “Let me tell you, Doctor, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And if I had been to heaven or hell, I don't remember anything when I woke up on an operating table with two years of my life gone. So how do I feel about dying?” She snorted. “It's a waste of time.”

“I sense anger in you.”

“Wouldn't you be angry? I'm not angry because I died, I'm angry because those two years I've lost, I could have done a lot more to push the Council and the Alliance to see the truth and be prepared for the Reapers. Instead, while I was dead, they swept everything under the rug and called it a day, blaming everything on the Geth. And guess who is heading our way as we speak? The Reapers. And the brass are still not listening.”

“You seem to have lost faith in the Alliance.”

Shepard's brows tightened for a second before she forced herself to relax. “The Alliance lost faith in me first.”

“Was that the reason why you joined Cerberus?”

Bright blue eyes sharpened and looked straight at the doctor. “I never 'joined' Cerberus. I never asked to be revived, much less by Cerberus, but I was. They burned through four billion credits just to bring me back to fight a war. People out there were missing, and the Alliance couldn't do a thing to stop it from happening. Cerberus offered me resources and people to take down the Collectors, so I used them. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“So you were abandoned by the Alliance and the Council. Cerberus offered you the resources you needed to fight the Collectors. Sounds like a business transaction.”

“You could say that. I did what I was revived to do. After that, well, here I am voluntarily. Being monitored every second for the past few months like a criminal. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat because of all those lives I've saved with my team.”

“You have never talked about your team – your new team.”

The trained interrogators couldn't get one single name from her during hours upon hour of interrogations, and the doctor expected her to spill her guts with a softer approach? Shepard almost laughed. “No, I've never talked about them, and I never will. If you're trying to get a list of names from me, then you're wasting your time. Those people worked for me, not Cerberus. They followed me to a place no one had ever been to, knowing we would probably never make it back, and they never once wavered. They're not the terrorists the Alliance are after, and they will never be a threat to humanity or the galaxy – hell, they're willing to throw away their lives for humanity, and some of them are not even humans. They're heroes in my book, each and every one of them, no matter where they came from. The Alliance – even the Council – owe them a giant thanks for taking care of the problem they couldn't handle.”

If the doctor was intimidated by her, she certainly didn't show. “People are willingly follow you to dangerous situation,” Dr. Troy observed calmly. “That is a gift.”

Shepard recalled something Miranda once said about the fire inside her. “I'm lucky I have worked with some of the best people – best biotics, best engineers, best fighters. And not just within the Alliance.”

“You've been with the Alliance for twelve years before the accident. Working with the group you once fought against must be hard.”

“I did what I had to.”

“The sacrifice you've made, cutting all the ties to your previous life--”

“It's nothing comparing to the lives that would have lost if I didn't do what I did.”

“What about your personal sacrifice? Your relationship with Kaidan Alenko.”

Shepard ignored that sudden prick inside her. “Commander Alenko has moved on with his life after I died. Just as he should.” She paused then added as nonchalantly as she could, “I'm happy for him.”

“I've heard a lot about you from him.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow despite herself. For once, she was caught off-guard. “You know him?”

Dr. Troy nodded. “He was one of my patients. I was one of the doctors assigned to treat the crew of the Normandy after the accident,” the doctor explained. “Then-Lieutenant Alenko was under my care. Needless to say, it was a traumatic experience for all of them, but more so for some.” Those dark eyes gave Shepard a knowing look.

“How was he--” Shepard immediately stopped herself and winced inwardly. All this time spent in the interrogation room and this comfortable office, and now she finally slipped. It was because of Alenko – one of her greatest weaknesses even after all these years.

Shepard had to draw a clear line between them; she refused to drag Kaidan through the mud with her.

“I'm sorry,” said Dr. Troy. “Doctor-patient confidentiality. All I can say is that Kaidan has been through a lot, and I'm glad he's back on his feet.”

“...So am I,” Shepard agreed quietly. “He deserves better.”

“Than?”

And she slipped again. Shepard hid a frown. “Better than what life's been throwing at him.”

The doctor observed her with great interest. Shepard tried not to move a muscle or else her body language might betray her.

“Including you?” asked Dr. Troy.

The doctor knew, why lied? Shepard took a subtle deep breath and cracked open the pandora's box just bit. “Including me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You should know better than anyone how much I've hurt him.”

“By dying?”

By dying, by joining Cerberus, by breaking the promise that they would be together for a lifetime. Not trusting her own voice, Shepard only nodded.

“You are carrying the guilt of that tragic event's impact on Kaidan, even though it's not your fault.”

“Guilt, regrets, whatever you want to call it.” Shepard swallowed hard and slammed the pandora's box close. “He's better off without me.”

“Do you miss him?”

 _Yes._ “I miss all my friends,” Shepard dodged that question.

That wasn't a lie. Shepard missed them all, although some more than the others. Two in particular – a man who had been to hell and back with her not just once but twice, and a woman who have given her a second chance in life.

  



	2. Project Lazarus

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

  
  


Chapter 1: Project Lazarus

Year: 2185CE

Location: Lazarus Project Facility

  
  


“...Commander...”

She heard a faint voice. Shepard stirred.

“Commander.” The voice became louder as Shepard slowly regained consciousness.

Searing pain was the first thing she registered. Shepard instinctively sucked in a sharp breath. Cool air filled her lungs, waking her further. She grunted and struggled to open her eyes.

“Shepard! Wake up!”

The harsh white light was painfully blinding to her diluted pupils. Shepard blinked a few times to adjust to the sudden change until she realized she was in an operating room of some sort, lying on her back. _What the hell?_ She thought, pushing herself up despite the agony brought by the slightest movements. Shepard noticed she was alone in the room, but she swore she had heard a woman's voice.

“Your scars aren't healed,” said the same woman. It was then Shepard realized her voice was blasting through the comm. “But we have no time. We are under attack!”

The last four words were all that Shepard needed to overcome the excruciating pain. If there was only one thing her twelves years of military service had taught her, it's that adrenaline was one hell of an anesthetic. Almost immediately, she slipped out of the bed – or wherever she had been lying upon. _Weapon_ , her instinct told her. She needed a weapon.

The room was exceptionally chilly. Shepard glanced down, only to find out she was wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. There were scars all around her torso and legs, and... were the scars glowing in bright red? Shepard shook her head and rubbed her eyes in a poor attempt to shake off her blurry vision.

Before she could further examine her body, that voice once again rang through, “There is a gun in the locker at the corner. Hurry!”

Survival instinct kicked in. Sparing not other thoughts to those abnormal scars, Shepard quickly opened the locker and retrieved the pistol and ammo within. It was her luck that she also found two shirts inside. She grabbed one and donned it without hesitation; it was long enough that it covered her butt, albeit barely – probably a man's shirt.

Shepard loaded the gun with practiced ease. Although muscle memory worked in her favor, her body was working against her. Her fingers were too shaky, the pistol felt too heavy, and her legs too weak. What the hell had happened to her?

“Get out of that room now!” said the woman. “We have to get you out of the facility.”

“Where am I?” Shepard demanded. The last thing she remembered was losing consciousness in space. Someone had saved her.

“No time to explain. They're coming for you!”

Shepard rushed out of the room. The facility was eerily sterile but without any medical equipments saved the ones in the room. Shepard wondered what type of hospital it was, but she knew it was definitely not any Alliance facilities she had been to. Before she could make any more observations, she saw two mechs marching out of into the hallway.

“Watch out!” warned the woman.

Shepard quickly shot one of the mech in the head twice. Much to her dismay and surprise, she missed and was forced to duck behind cover when they returned fire. What the freaking hell had happened to her? She would never have missed shots like that.

It had to be some sort of sedatives that had keep her on the operating table, Shepard deduced. Whatever it was, it was still in her system and Shepard was feeling lightheaded. But still, heavily medicated or not, she had to fight her way out. Taking a deep breath to gather herself, Shepard peeked from her cover once the sound of fire had died down and pulled her trigger. One of the mechs was hit squarely in the chest three times and fell over. Muscles memory took over, she immediately ducked and reloaded and peeked out to shoot the last one, forgoing her favorite headshot and aiming at the chest. Two shots later, it was down.

It was over. For now. Shepard shut her eyes briefly and panted harder than she should. Taking down two mechs should never have taken a toll on her, she should never have missed. Garrus would never let her live it down if he was here. Shepard wondered where he was, where everyone was.

_Kaidan..._ Shepard snapped open her eyes. She had to find him.

“Follow the stairs up and down the hallway,” said the woman who had been watching over her. “I'll try to meet you as soon as I can. Be careful there are more---” Shepard heard some gunshots over the comm. “Shepard--- do you read-- Shep--”

“Damn it!” Her only ally was cut off and could be in trouble. Shepard had no other choice but to soldier on.

Bit by bit, her strength started to return as she headed down the path she had been instructed. Her pistol felt lighter with each mech she took down, her reflex faster, her eyesight sharper. Adrenaline pumped inside her veins, numbing the pain throughout her body for the time being. Her heart pounded hard and fast, keeping her as alert as ever despite the sedative that was lingering in her system. Being tossed in the middle of a battle, unarmored with just a pistol in her hand, Aerin Shepard had never felt more alive.

A series of gunshots ahead of her suggested that she was not the lone survivor of this facility. Shepard rushed ahead through a door and saw a man being attacked by three mechs. He was behind cover reloading while the mechs fired relentlessly. With the element of surprise on her side, Shepard was able to shoot three rounds at one of those machines, then two at another one before the remaining one noticed her. Shepard rolled behind a bench to escape the return fire. The man came out of the cover and finished the last one off.

“Thanks--” The man turned to his savior and his eyes widened when he saw her. “Shepard?”

Shepard straightened up from her cover. “You know me?”

The man merely gave her a friendly shrug. “Who doesn't? We are all here because of you. Things must be real bad if Miranda has to wake you up before you're ready.”

“Ready for what?” Shepard scowled in half confusion, half annoyance; she hated being in the dark. “What are you talking about? Where am I?”

“Oh right. You must be confused.” That man looked apologetic. “We have to move but I'll give you a short version. We are in a facility that is built for Project Lazarus. My name is Jacob Taylor, I'm Miranda's first lieutenant, mostly in charge of security, although normally there's nothing to shoot at except during target practice, until now.”

“Why am I here?” Shepard demanded, her frown tightened. “What do I have to do with Project Lazarus?”

“Everything.” The man called Jacob gave her a look that was almost sympathetic. “Project Lazarus is why you are still here, Commander. You were dead. Miranda revived you.”

Shepard could barely process those last six words. “Wait. Wait a minute. You mean I was dead? As in clinically dead?”

“Heart stopped, brain function ceased. Actually worse than that. When they first brought you in, you were burnt beyond recognition. And when I first saw you, you were nothing but meat and tubes. Took Miranda two years and more than four billion credits to rebuild you.”

“Two years?!” Shepard's heart almost stopped again. “I was dead for two years?”

Jacob nodded. “Welcome back to the world of living, Commander.”

_I've lost two years?_ Shepard opened her mouth a few times to speak but there was no words. For once, she was utterly shocked beyond words.

“You okay, Commander?”

Shepard swore she almost heard Kaidan's voice asking her that question inside her head. Her thought once again drifted to the man she was supposed to spend a lifetime with. Two years, he thought she was dead for two years, that had to kill him. Shepard shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to find him. Now.

“Commander?”

Shepard managed to nod mechanically. “I'm sorry. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all these.”

“I know it must be a shock for you, but we have to move on and get you to safety. Project Lazarus was started to bring you back, and we can't lose you in a fight with the mechs now.”

Shepard scowled at that additional piece of information. “Hold on, you mean the purpose of the entire project was to revive me?”

“Precisely. Look, I'll play twenty questions with you all day once we're out of this station. For now, we have to look for Miranda and get the hell out of here first.”

Jacob was right, Shepard realized. She had to get the hell out of here before she could find Kaidan. “Miranda... She must be the woman who woke me up through the comm. I lost contact with her after I heard some gunshots. She might be in trouble.”

“I won't worry about her too much. Miranda can handle herself. Come on, Commander, this way.” Jacob led her through a door and into the hallway.

Shepard followed with her gun readied.

“This is an inside job,” said Jacob as they hurried down a flight of stairs. “No one other than our staffs are allowed on this station. Someone must have hacked our system, turning all our mechs against us.”

“Who exactly are you guys? You are not the Alliance. We don't have this type of facilities. Or four billion credits to spare on one soldier--”

“Trouble ahead!” Jacob warned as he jumped behind a cover. “Two mechs.”

Shepard pressed her back against a wall and waited for the gunfire to slow down before peeking out and firing her pistol at the one closest to her. “I'm almost out of ammo!”

“Don't worry, Commander, I'm a biotic!”

Jacob pulled the last mech out of its cover with his biotics. The mech stumbled out in plain view, and Shepard immediately took the kill shot.

“We are clear, Commander. This way. We're close to the shuttle docking bay.”

“You haven't answered my question, Jacob,” Shepard pressed on while she reloaded with her remaining ammo. “Who do you work for?”

“Okay, I guess you deserve some answers. If I answer your question, you have to promise me not to shoot.”

Bright blue eyes narrowed; her grip on her pistol tightened. Shepard did not like that at all. “Answer. Now.”

There was a slight hesitation. “Project Lazarus is funded by Cerberus.”

If this was a joke, Shepard wasn't laughing. “Cerberus?” She frowned harshly. “Why the hell would Cerberus spend four billions to revive me?”

“I don't know, Commander.” Jacob shook his head. “All I know is you are the only one who has ever been rebuilt, the Lazarus project is funded just for you, no one else. You have to ask the boss, the Illusive Man.”

“The Illusive Man? Who is he?”

“He is the boss, but no one knows his real name. It's just a codename the Alliance gave him, and it sticks. I only answer to Miranda, she has contact with the Man himself. You have to ask her if you want to know more about him, but I doubt she knows much about him.” There was a certain sincerity in him that made Shepard believe what he said.

Shepard took a sharp breath, calming the anger boiling inside. “If he thinks I'll work for Cerberus just because he revives me, then he's wasting his money and your time. I'll never work for terrorists!”

“Then I suggest you take it up to the Man,” said Jacob calmly. “I don't think even he can force you to work for us if you're not willing.”

“Oh, I will.”

“I know we have bad reps, but those are done by the splinter groups. Everything we've done, we did it for humanity first and foremost.” To his credit, Jacob remained calm under Shepard's burning gaze. “Look, Commander, I know you don't trust us, but this is not a good time for debate. Let's get out of this station first or we'll both get killed.”

Shepard had no choice but to agree.

“Let's go, Commander. This way.”

Shepard would get her answers sooner or later. For now, Jacob was right, they had to get the hell out of this hell hole first.

 

* * *

 

Location: Project Lazarus Facility Dock

 

What a bloody mess! Miranda Lawson lowered her pistol with absolute dismay. This was _not_ how the Lazarus Project was supposed to turn out. She was close, so close to succeed! Shepard would make a full recovery in another month or two, three tops. But now, her radio contact with Shepard had been cut off. The commander could be dead again by now, and the facility was destroyed with no way to revive her again. Her two-year worth of effort had gone down the drain, all due to one man's sabotage – the same man who was lying dead at her feet with one single gun shot wound between his eyes.

The traitor – her former assistant, Wilson – now had paid for his betrayal with his life, but that did nothing to make up for the damage he had done. Miranda would have to find out who he was working for, but that would have to wait. Her first priority would be to locate Shepard and get the hell out of here, hopefully Shepard was as good as everyone had claimed and managed to stay alive even in her current condition.

Miranda heard gun shots down the hall. Alarmed, she kicked Wilson's body aside and rushed down the hallway. But the gunfire died down by the time she reached the door at the other end. The door slid open. Miranda's gun was up, aiming at the head of the first mech coming through. But she immediately relaxed her stance as she recognized the face of the man – her long-timed trusted partner, Jacob. Miranda released a secret sigh of relief when her eyes landed onto a figure a few steps behind Jacob. It was none other than the woman she had devoted two years of her life to, Commander Aerin Shepard.

“What the hell is going on?” asked Jacob.

“Internal sabotage.” Miranda nodded towards the corpse on the floor at the other end of the hallway. “I've dealt with the traitor.”

“Wilson?” Jacob frowned skeptically. “Are you sure? He's been with us for a long time.”

“You should know by now that I'm never wrong, Jacob.” She turned her attention to the woman who had been studying her. Miranda returned the favor by giving Shepard an once over. “Commander.”

Wearing nothing but a man's shirt with her underwear partly revealing, Shepard seemed completely unfazed by her state of undress. Miranda had to admit Shepard didn't look too bad given her situation and her condition. Shepard's arms and legs were skinnier than before; her once well-toned muscles had shrunk due to lack of use, but Miranda knew it would only be a matter of time until the commander returned to her peak physical condition. Adding intense training sessions would speed up Shepard's recovery, Miranda made a mental note to assign that duty to Jacob later.

Miranda's attention left the commander's bare legs and traveled back up to her face. Bright blue eyes stared back at her openly with an intensity she didn't expect from someone who was quite heavily drugged.

_Good... Welcome back, Shepard._

Shepard's hair had started to grow back more than a year ago. Uncut, now it was longer than when Miranda had first met her at the Citadel. The unkempt layered look surprisingly suited the Alliance-born-and-raised soldier, but Miranda was not about to voice her opinion. Somehow, she had a feeling Shepard would carry herself with just the same attitude even if she was bald or even naked. It had to do with the commander's air of confidence, Miranda knew, although there was only a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Miranda had yet to decide which side Shepard landed on.

“You must be Miranda,” said Shepard rather coolly.

“I am,” Miranda replied with the same coolness. “I am the head of the Lazarus Project, the one who rebuilt you.”

The commander's tone turned a few notches colder. “With Cerberus.”

The reason behind Shepard's attitude suddenly became clear to her. Miranda turned and looked at Jacob with a smirk. “Ah, Jacob. I knew your conscience would get the better of you.”

“If we want Shepard to work with us, we can't lie to her,” Jacob explained.

_Just as well._ Miranda shrugged. “Well, now that's out in the open, perhaps we can leave this place before more mechs arrive.”

“Wait a minute,” said Shepard with a mild scowl. “I need some answers.”

Miranda raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her. “I will answer your questions on the shuttle.”

“And if I don't go with you?” Shepard challenged. The defiant in her eyes was unmistakable.

Miranda began to regret not installing a control chip inside the commander's brain to make her own job easier. Miranda folded her arms and regarded the other woman in with a hint of amusement. “I have the last shuttle off this station. You are welcome to stay behind and rot with the mechs.”

“And you are willing to lose the project you've worked on for two years? Four billion credits down the drain?” Shepard countered with an arched eyebrow. “I don't think so.”

Miranda's full lips thinned slightly. She definitely regretted not installing that bloody chip. “You want answers, I might have them. But ask them on the shuttle. We are heading to see the Illusive Man, whom no doubt Jacob has told you about. He will answer all the questions I can't.”

Shepard's gaze sharpened and studied her.

Miranda put her free hand on her hips and allowed the commander to study to her heart's content while she continued casually, “We also have received your custom armor from our own lab last week. I have loaded it on the shuttle as well as a change of clothes you desperately need.” She eyed the commander's body to make a point. “Don't worry, I know your size.”

The tension between the two women continued to mount, but Jacob stepped in. “Commander, even if you want to go back to the Alliance, at least talk to the Illusive Man and get some answers first. The sensor does indication there's only one shuttle left on this station.”

“We're leaving without searching for survivors?” asked Shepard indignantly.

_You've got to be kidding me..._ Miranda scowled. “Don't you get it? You are the only one who's important here. We are all expandable.”

Jacob nodded. “It's true. We all know the risk when we signed up for this assignment. Miranda is responsible for rebuilding you, and I'm responsible for protecting you. So please, Commander, don't make my job any harder than it is.”

Shepard's expression softened a notch. The commander seemed to respond to Jacob's approach better than hers, Miranda made a mental note of that. “Come on, we have wasted enough time,” said Miranda. “Let's get out of here.”

Shepard grudgingly agreed, “Fine. I've enough of this station to last a life time.”

“Two, in your case.” Miranda shot her a cool look and led the way. The first part of her job was done, now onto the second part. Just when she thought reconstructing Shepard was hard, working with her seemed even harder.

If only she had sneaked in a control chip.

 

* * *

 

Location: Cerberus Shuttle

 

One minute she was floating out there, dying. The next minute she was waking up on an operating table, recovering. In between, two years had come and gone, two years she had lost. Shepard looked outside the window of the shuttle. Although they were in different sector, the dark space looked very much the same as the last thing she had seen before she had lost consciousness. Nothing but complete darkness, with occasion twinkling stars from afar.

Staring into the darkness, Shepard suddenly felt a tightening in her chest as if she was suffocating. Her arm shot up to reach for the back of her neck to seal the tear of her armor. It wasn't until her cold fingertips brushed the skin on the back of her neck did she register her lack of armor, waking herself up from a nightmare inside her head. Shepard blinked hard and took a deep breath to calm her fraying nerves – a breath that she couldn't take when she was floating out there, two years ago.

Two years... She still had a hard time believing so much time had passed. Shepard pushed a lock of hair off her face and habitually tucked it behind her ear. Her fingers brushed to where her hair should have ended and froze; she could feel the soft strands continued on. Shepard looked down at her own hand and the dark hair extended beyond her fingertips. It wasn't until now that she realized how long her hair had grown. So two years... they were telling the truth...

Shepard dropped her hand down to her lap and shut her eyes and finally began to accept the painful truth: She had lost two years of her life, and perhaps even more. Two years was a long time, her team had moved on. _He_ had probably moved on...

Part of her selfishly wished Kaidan had waited for her. Waiting for what? For a dead woman to come back to live? Shepard almost snorted at her own stupidity. But she needed to find him, needed to talk to him.

She needed him.

With a deep breath, Shepard shoved that thought aside. She had to get out of her current situation first. When she opened her eyes once again, the familiar dark space greeted her, unchanged. Somehow, the pitch black backdrop with twinkling stars, that view that had been with her since she was a kid, now had a more sinister look to it.

Miranda had been studying her, Shepard knew but she didn't care. Sitting across from her, the man and the woman were both strangers to her – strangers working for a terrorist organization. A terrorist organization that had gone out of their way to revive her, Shepard reminded herself. The amount of money they had poured in for the project could easily fund an army, so why resurrected her? Miranda had directed that question to the Illusive Man when Shepard had asked earlier, claiming he should be the one to tell her his own plan.

The Illusive Man... What kind of name was that?

“We don't have much time left before we arrive at the station,” said Miranda, breaking the silence. “We should run some tests.”

Shepard tore her gaze from the window and settled it on the woman across from her. An eyebrow arched slightly. “Tests?”

“You haven't fully recovered, Shepard,” said Miranda. “I need to make sure you are both physically and mentally ready before you meet with the Illusive Man.”

“Come on, Miranda.” Jacob threw her a sideways glance. “I've seen the commander in action. Even with the amount of drugs you have pumped in her system to sedate her, she's good, okay? I vouch for her.”

There was just a hint of annoyance flashed across Miranda's face. “All right,” Miranda conceded stiffly. “If Jacob says you're good, then I'll defer to his judgment. I still need to do a full examination once we have a chance.”

_What? To tighten the nuts and bolts inside me?_ Shepard's eyebrow raised further. “Why? What exactly have you done to me?”

“You have countless implants inside you. The best money can buy. Most of them are top of the line prototypes that are not even available on the market even if you have the proper connections. It's my job to make sure they work together without conflict. Or you'll die.”

Somehow, dying wasn't much of a threat to Shepard anymore. Been there, done that. “So am I a prototype to a future army of cybernetic-enhanced soldiers that Cerberus is trying to build?”

“Prototype? No.” Miranda snorted softly. “We spent two years just to bring you back. You have no idea how hard it was to reconstruct you piece by piece from the lump of charred body you were when you were brought to our lab. The process we used to rebuild you is simply beyond your comprehension.”

That sheer arrogance had simply rubbed Shepard the very wrong way. “I don't need a Ph.D degree in cybernetic implants to know I am different than before.” She pointed at the long scar along the side of her leg. That eerie bright red glow was even more prominent now that they were inside a dim shuttle cabin. “I've had more than my share of injuries and never before had my scars glowed like this.”

Miranda glanced at the scar Shepard was mentioning. “One of your many enhancements. Your body heals faster, and it's now stronger, your reflex quicker, just to name a few improvements.”

That confirmed Shepard's suspicion. She felt different than before, more so now that the sedatives in her system had started to wear off. While being faster and stronger was good, but it was all done without her permission, and she did not like it a bit. “What am I?” Shepard scowled. “Half-human half-robot?” _Like those stories I used to read when I was a kid?_

Miranda shifted her gaze away from the scar and focused on Shepard's face, as if studying her achievement with a sense of pride. “You are Aerin Shepard. The one and only. If you are not the same woman you once was, then I have failed.” Miranda's gaze settled squarely onto Shepard's eyes. “I never fail.”


	3. Two Years

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

  
Chapter 2: Two Years

Year: 2183CE

Location: Citadel

 

_It was the last night of their two-day shore leave. Two precious days for the crew to take a breather while the Normandy and the mako received much needed repair, and then the hunt for Saren would resume. But for now, Shepard allowed herself to lift the weight of the galaxy off her shoulders. For one more night, she was not Commander Shepard, but just Aerin, spending her night off with a good friend – a good friend whom she was very much attracted to._

_The street was packed this early evening, Shepard had no choice but to stay close to Kaidan or else she might lose him in the crowd – or so she told herself. It was just an excuse, she knew damn well. She liked him. Since when? She didn't know. But after last night, after spending three hours at a cafe with him talking just about everything in the galaxy, she finally allowed herself to admit to the simple fact that she did like him. A lot. Still, she was his CO; she had to be careful while they were still on this mission._

“ _How's the new Savant?” asked Shepard, tilting her head to study the profile of the man next to her. Her gaze traced from the bridge of his nose to the tip of it, down to his lips. It's a path she was quite familiar with by now, having caught herself staring for more times than she would care to admit._

“ _Unbelievable.” Kaidan turned to her with his eyes lit up like a kid seeing the latest toy. “You can't go wrong with Serrice Council's products. That new Savant combines the best of Nexus and Logic Arrest, with additional shield enhancements. Like Nexus, Savant can run multiple attack processes simultaneously. But Nexus shield enhancements are way behind the curve. Savant shield is the best on the market, even better than Logic Arrest--” He paused when he noticed that smirk she was giving him._

“ _You're in love,” Shepard claimed teasing with a raised eyebrow._

_There was a sudden panic flashed across his eyes. “What?”_

_Flustering Kaidan had become Shepard's hobby, and she was getting pretty good at it. A mischievous smile spread on her face at her own success. “With Savant.”_

_Panic was replaced by realization, then followed by a faint chuckle of embarrassment. “Er... sorry,” Kaidan mumbled, “didn't mean to bore you with the details.”_

_This man was quite a paradox, Shepard had found out. He often provided some of the most insightful observations or articulate arguments, yet sometimes he could be as adorable as a kid, tripping over his words when he was flustered by her._

“ _Go on,” Shepard encouraged him with her grin widened, then deliberately lowered her voice and leaned closer. “I kinda like it when you talk nerdy.”_

_That stopped him in his tracks._

_Hiding a laugh, Shepard continued her path, leaving him behind for a few steps before she looked over her shoulder. “You coming or not?”_

_Kaidan hurried to catch up, shaking his head slightly and grinning to himself. Shepard held back a smile when he was once again next to her. It was then a sudden realization hit her like a ton of bricks: She was too used to having him by her side, so much so that without him, it didn't right. And that realization scared her more than she would ever admit._

_So what would happen after her mission was over when he might be reassigned elsewhere? Shepard didn't want to think too far ahead. If she couldn't stop Saren, the galaxy as she knew it would be gone, along with the man next to her. Shoving that thought away, she turned to Kaidan. “Any plans after dinner?”_

“ _No, what do you suggest?”_

“ _Let's hit the arcade on the Strip. I want to see if you can beat me in those games.”_

_He gave her a sideways look. “Aren't you competitive...”_

_A teasing smirk spread on her face. “Don't tell me you're afraid of a little competition.”_

“ _Me? No.” He chuckled. “Maybe I should be nice and let you win.”_

“ _Let me win?” If he was anyone else, Shepard would be offended. But he wasn't. Shepard merely glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, you are going down, Mister.”_

 

* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Cerberus Space Station

 

Wearing nothing but an over-sized shirt, Shepard followed Jacob down the hall. Like the facility she had escaped from, the remote station they had arrived at was pristine. The staffs were courteous and professional, and they all seemed to know her. All greeted her politely as they walked pass, none remotely batted an eye at her current outfit, or lack thereof. Jacob had been utmost professional and respectful, not once had his eyes wandered below her neck during their shuttle trip. Shepard idly wondered about his background and why he would join a terrorist group.

“This way, Commander.” Jacob showed her to a small room. “Your armor has been unloaded and it's here. The Illusive Man is waiting for you once you're ready.”

“Thank you, Jacob.”

He gave her a perfect salute before exiting. _Military_ , Shepard thought as she locked the door.

What greeted her on the table was a pleasant surprise. The new armor was black, with the N7 insignia on the chest plate, and the distinctive red and white stripes down the right arm. Although it was not an exact replica of her old armor, Shepard couldn't help but smile faintly at the sight of it. It was almost as if meeting an old friend that had been with her thick and thin for many years. An old friend – now new and improved – manufactured by Cerberus, just like her. Shepard shook that thought away and suited up, trying her best to ignore the soreness in her muscles.

Not surprisingly, the armor fitted like a glove, as Miranda had mentioned that it was custom made for her. What Shepard had never expected was the fact that Cerberus made one hell of an armor, better than what the Alliance provided, even to their elite soldiers. Shepard slipped on her gauntlets and flexed her fingers. The familiar feeling of an armor hugging her body had brought her a much needed sense of comfort, however little it might be in her current predicament. She was a lone Alliance soldier in the midst of a Cerberus facility. For once, shooting her way out wasn't the answer.

The answer might lie in the man they called the Illusive Man. Whoever he was, Shepard had a feeling he wouldn't let her go that easily, not after he had spent four billion credits on her. Perhaps it was time to meet the man behind the infamous group.

As she was about to exit, Shepard accidentally caught a glance in the mirror nearby. What she saw froze in her tracks. The woman that was staring back at her was ghostly pale with scars on her cheeks. What stopped her, however, was the strange glow in her eyes. Shepard took a few tentative steps towards the mirror and examined herself closely for the first time since she had woken up. Her eyes, although still blue, now glowed in same bright red in the pupils.

_What the hell?_ Staring at the those two red dots in her eyes, Shepard frowned.  _What have they done to me?_

She blinked hard at the image and touched the bright red scars, the woman in the mirror did the same. Just how many implants and artificial organs did she have inside? What _was_ she now? A perfect union of organic and synthetic that Saren had been ranting about?

_Oh god..._ Shepard took a step back from the mirror in horror.

Had she involuntarily became a walking example of Saren's vision?

_ No... No, no, no!  _ Disgusted by face that was staring back at her and what it represented, Shepard stepped away from the mirror, away from the ghost of her former self _.  _ The walls suddenly pressed in on her, the floor rose closer. Her reflex took over, Shepard leaned against the table before her knees gave in.

Taking a few deep breaths in a poor attempt to quiet her racing mind and slow her palpitating heart,  Shepard willed herself to focus on the first task at hand. She needed to get the hell out of here, she needed to get back to where she belonged. With the Alliance. With Kaidan.

But what would they think of her now? To that, she was almost too afraid to find out. Swallowing hard, Shepard shut her eyes to steel herself.

_I am Lieutenant Commander Aerin Shepard. Council Spectre. Captain of the SSV Normandy SR-1._

Donning her commander mask, she marched to the door with a stoic expression. Her doubts, her fears, her disgust, all hidden underneath the perfect poker face.

_I am Shepard. Aerin Shepard._

She would demand her answers from the Illusive Man, then she would leave.

_I am Aerin._

And she would find Kaidan.

_I am still me._

 

* * *

 

The bottom of the stairs was dark. It led to nowhere but a small empty space. There was no one down here, the Illusive Man or not. Was this a trap? Shepard instinctively reached for her gun, but there was none. But why would they bother to revive her just to kill her?

Before she could take another step, the sound of some machines buzzed around her. In an instant, Shepard found herself being scanned. Soon enough, a hologram of a man in suit sitting in a chair lit up in front of her.

“Commander Shepard,” the man greeted politely, his voice was soft and raspy.

“Illusive Man,” Shepard deduced. “I thought we'd be meeting face-to-face.”

“A necessary precaution,” said the Illusive Man. “Not unusual for people who know what you and I know.”

Shepard scowled at his riddle. “And what exact is it that you and I know?”

“That our place in the universe is more fragile than people would like to think. That one woman, one specific woman might be all that stands between humanity and the greatest threat to our brief existence.”

That got Shepard's full attention. “The Reapers.”

The Illusive Man nodded. “Good to see your memory's still intact. How are you feeling?”

Whether she liked it or not, she was still standing and breathing all because of the man in the hologram. Shepard decided to extend the courtesy and play nice, for now. “Not bad for someone who's been dead for two years. From what I hear, I cost you a fortune. Why'd you do it?”

“For the defense and preservation of humanity,” the Illusive Man stated plainly as though it was an obvious answer to the most simple question. “I didn't spend two years and billions of credits bringing you back to serve as a common soldier. We need Shepard – just as you were when you defeat Sovereign. You're unique. Not just in ability or what you've experienced, but in what you represent. You stood for humanity at a key moment. You're more than a soldier – you're a symbol. And I don't know if the Reapers understand fear, but you killed one. They have to respect that.”

Shepard suppressed a snort. From the Alliance post child to the symbol that was worth billions of credits to revive, she had certainly been upgraded to the next iconic level. She had never wanted to be put on any pedestal; from Elysium to Citadel, all she had done was her job – to protect and to save lives. Yet here she was, brought back to live because of the pedestal she had been put on, because of her reputation.

_They can't even let me rest in peace,_ Shepard thought with a strange bitter taste in her mouth. The image of woman in the mirror haunted her thoughts.Still, she couldn't walk away knowing the Reapers were still out there, threatening to unravel everything she had worked so hard to preserve. If she was given a second chance to send them back to hell, she would take it in a heartbeat, even when the second chance was given by a terrorist group.

“What are the Reapers doing that made you decide to bring me back?”

“We're at war,” the Illusive Man stated calmly as he stood from his chair and approached her. “No one wants to admit it, but humanity is under attack. While you've been sleeping, entire colonies have been disappearing. Human colonies. We believe it's someone working for the Reapers. Just as Saren and the Geth aided Sovereign.”

_Another Saren?_ Shepard frowned. Now that the Illusive Man came closer to her, Shepard could see that he was quite tall, at the age of around fifty or so. One thing about him stood out, his eyes had a strange glow even through the hologram.

“You've seen it yourself,” the Illusive Man continued. “You bested all of them. That's just one reason we chose you.”

“Sovereign was trying to harvest all life in the galaxy,” Shepard pointed out. “Why would the Reapers target a few human colonies?”

“Hundreds of thousands of colonists have vanished. I'd say that fits the definition of 'harvesting.'”

“Hundreds of thousands of colonists have vanished, and nobody knows a thing?”

“Nobody's paying attention because it's random and the attacks occur in remote locations. I don't know why they've suddenly targeted humanity. Maybe you got their attention when you killed one of them.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly at the last line. Did she unwittingly bring unwanted attention to humanity by protecting the galaxy? “I can't fight the Reapers on my own. If this is a threat against the humanity, you need to mobilize the Alliance.”

“They suffered substantial losses from fighting Sovereign. They're rebuilding, still stretched too thin to waste resources verifying the Reaper threat. Blaming the abductions on mercs and pirates is easier, and more convenient.”

Shepard scowled at that news. She could see the brass swiping everything under the rug. It was always easier to ignore the problems than to acknowledge them. But still, Cerberus stepping up when the Alliance couldn't? “Fighting a war doesn't seem like Cerberus. Why are you involved?”

“Cerberus isn't as evil as you believe. You and I are on the same side, we just have different methods. We are committed to the advancement and preservation of humanity. If the Reapers are targeting us, trying to wipe us out, Cerberus will stop them. If we wait for politicians or the Alliance to act... no more human colonies will be left.”

As much as Shepard hated to admit it, the Illusive Man had a point. Two years, hundreds of thousands of colonists had vanished and it still had not been stopped. That made her sick to her stomach. “If what you say is true, if the Reapers are behind this, I may consider helping you.”

“I'd be disappointed if you accepted any of this without seeing for yourself. I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom's Progress, the last colony to be abducted. Miranda and Jacob will brief you.”

“Miranda killed a man point blank without interrogation. Jacob's just a gun for hire. You expect me to trust them?”

“Wilson was one of my best agents. But he was a traitor. Miranda did exactly what I expected of her. And she saved your life in more ways than one. Jacob's a soldier, one of the best. He's never fully trusted me, but he's always been honest about it. You'll be just fine with them... for now.”

Everything was set and prepared for her even before she had woken up. From her armor to her new mission, even down to her transportation, the Illusive Man had planned everything in advance. Shepard couldn't help but feel like a pawn on a galactic chessboard. “I don't have a choice, do I?”

“You always have a choice, Shepard. If you don't find the evidence we're both looking for, we can part ways. But first go to Freedom's Progress. Find any clues you can. Who's abducting the colonies? Do they have any connection to the Reapers? I brought you back. It's up to you to do the rest.”

 

* * *

 

Some people possessed a presence that was hard to ignore, marking them the center of attention for their friends, or a visible target for their enemies. Shepard was one of them. Miranda was finishing up her final report on the Lazarus Project when the commander made her way up from the meeting with the Illusive Man. Although her footsteps were quiet, Miranda found herself glancing at Shepard's direction.

All suited up in her brand new armor, Shepard finally looked the part of a hero she had always played. Miranda's first impression on the commander had been mediocre at best. But that was before the Lazarus Project, before she had devoted two years to rebuild the commander piece by piece. In a strange sense, Shepard had been a major part of her life for two years, and she knew about the commander more than she had ever known anyone, sadly that included her own sister. To see her project finally walking and talking, it was quite fascinating, and certainly rewarding. 

The new armor looked good on the commander. The lab had sent the classic black N7 one, although Miranda would have chosen a deep shade of crimson for Shepard – a far departure from her old Alliance armor. Cutting the cords that linked Shepard to her past would further isolate her, making her easier to manipulate, that's what Miranda would have done. That and a control chip. But the Illusive Man had other ideas, and she had no choice but to follow his lead. After all, he was her boss.

Miranda subtly observed as Shepard talked to Jacob after receiving her new omni-tool. Jacob calmly answered every question Shepard threw at him. That man had the patience of a saint, Miranda mused as she sent in her report. Soon enough, from the corner of her eye, she spotted Shepard making her way over.

_Is it my turn to be interrogated?_ She switched off the console and gave the commander her undivided attention. _Play nice, Lawson._

“The Illusive Man is very impressed with you,” Miranda started. “I'm eager to see if you can live up to his expectation on this mission.”

Shepard merely nodded. Her expression remained stoic at the praise. “I'll get to the bottom of this even if the Reapers are not involved. The abduction has to stop.”

Her perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched up slightly at the claim. Shepard was confident, Miranda would give her that, but the line between confidence and arrogance had started to blur the more she observed the commander. Whether Shepard could live up to her reputation, that still remained to be seen. For the sake of the project, for the sake of humanity, Miranda sure hoped she could.

Shepard paused for a bit before she continued, “I want to thank you for reviving me.”

_Now, was it that hard to thank the person who has saved your life?_ Miranda mused silently. Outwardly, though, she gave the commander a cool once over. “I just hope it's worth it. A lot of people lost their lives on that station.”

“When you've found out who's behind the attack, let me know. I want to know what wants me dead.”

“Are you sure you're the target?” While Miranda agreed with her assumption, she wanted to find out if Shepard's conclusion was based on sheer cockiness or rational logic .

“If the target was any of the staff, it would be easier to take you down elsewhere, not in a secured remote location where there was only one way in and out. I was the only one who was immobilized, if they wanted to kill me, they would have to be there. And by destroying the facility, any chance of reviving me one more time would be gone.”

Pleased with her answer, Miranda nodded. “I agree. I'll investigate further after Freedom's Progress. For now, focus on our mission.”

“Well, if we're going to work together, I'd like to know more about you.”

_What is this? A job interview?_ Miranda snorted softly. She couldn't help but feel slightly insulted. “Worried about my qualifications? I can crush a mech with my biotics or shoot its head off by 100 yards, take your pick.”

If Shepard was impressed by her abilities, she didn't show. “Did you and Jacob serve together in the Alliance?”

“No. The Illusive Man recognized my potential and recruited me at a young age.”

“How old were you?”

_Old enough to save my sister from my father._ Miranda hid a scowl from Shepard's persisting questions. “Old enough to know this is what I wanted.” The finality in her tone was obvious. “Anything else, Commander?”

“You're in charge of the Lazarus Project, right? Can you tell me more about it?”

“I wasn't in charge. The Illusive Man was. If I was running the show, I'd have done a few things differently.”

“Such as?”

_Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to._ “To start, I'd have implanted you with some type of control chip.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that, but she remained quite.

“But the Illusive Man wouldn't allow it,” Miranda continued. “He was afraid it would have changed your personality, altered your character somehow. He wouldn't let us do anything that would limit your potential in anyway.”

“Can't say I like the idea of brought back to life with a control chip in my brain.”

_Can't say I like the idea of you without one._ “The Illusive Man is taking an incredible risk with you. I just hope his gamble pays off.”

Shepard studied her for a second. “Do you have a problem with me?”

At least Shepard was straightforward, Miranda found that refreshing. Since honesty was the policy here... “I have the utmost respect for your abilities, Shepard. It's your motivation that concerns me,” Miranda stated rather bluntly. “I believe in what Cerberus stands for. Only time will tell if you will be an asset or a liability to our course.”

“What Cerberus stands for?” The commander scowled then snorted. “I saw your bases years ago. Your experiments cross the line.”

“All the time, yes,” Miranda admitted then gave Shepard a knowing look. “But I recall a Spectre who crossed a few lines while hunting down Saren and the Geth. Stealing the prototype warship? Mutiny?”

“All necessary to end Saren and his threat,” Shepard defended her transgressions without missing a beat.

“I couldn't agree more. You are not afraid to take steps necessary to reach your goal. That's exactly what we do here in Cerberus.”

The commander shook her head. “I stole a ship to go after a man who was destroying the galaxy. But you were using rachni, thorian creepers, even husks to make your own army.”

“The husks were already dead. The thorian creatures were mindless, and the rachni were abandoned once we understood their intelligence,” Miranda countered each point flawlessly. “We weren't breeding an army. We were breeding an expendable shock troops for high risk scenarios. Think about it, Shepard. How many soldiers died in Saren's attack on Eden Prime? How many would have lived if we had a dozen rachni soldiers on our side?”

There was a shift in Shepard's eyes as she went quiet. Miranda knew the commander had come to the same conclusion and agreed with her. Just as she thought Shepard would give up, the commander fired another question, “But what about Admiral Kahoku? Don't tell me he wasn't murdered.”

“Not by me or anyone involves in our project. Can you honestly say the Alliance has never sent their soldiers to kill anyone?”Miranda gave her an icy look. “What about you, Shepard? How many have you killed just because you're ordered to?”

Shepard's eyes narrowed, her lips thinned. But before Shepard could respond, Jacob approached cautiously. “...Is there a problem?”

“No,” both women responded in unison.

Jacob's gaze shifted between the two women for a second. Miranda gave him a subtle nod and relaxed her stance.

“I have your weapons ready for you, Commander,” said Jacob, defusing the tension with his calm professionalism. “A pistol, a shotgun, an assault rifle, a sniper rifle, and a grenade launcher. All top of the line, latest models. Please come with me.”

Miranda released a tired sigh as she watched the commander departed with Jacob. She had spent the past two years of her life consumed with Project Lazarus. Its sole purpose was to bring Shepard back to life with the same mind and moral. Well, Shepard was alive, but was she the same woman she used to be? Judging from her holier-than-thou attitude, Miranda would say her mission was a success. Was Shepard worth the trouble though? Only time would tell.

 

* * *

 

Shepard looked at her new omni-tool – Savant, their latest model as Jacob had told her. _Kaidan would love it._

There was still a minute while Miranda and Jacob were preparing for the mission. Shepard retreated to a quiet corner to send a message to Kaidan and Anderson. How should she even start?

“ _I'm not dead.” No, I did die. “Cerberus saved me.” Kaidan would never believe it. “I'll come find you once I'm done with this Cerberus mission.” Anderson would have my head for that--_

'ACCESS DENIED'

Shepard frowned at the screen on her omni-tool then retyped the password.

'ACCESS DENIED'

_What the hell?_

She tried once more.

'ACCESS DENIED'

_Damn it!_ Did the Alliance close her account?

“Commander, the shuttle is ready,” said Jacob.

Shepard looked up from her omni-tool and nodded. She would find another way to contact them later. For now, she had a job to do.

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel

 

The Citadel was as bustling as ever. Kaidan weaved through the crowd, heading to a bar to meet a new friend of his. Only for a drink, Kaidan had convinced himself. Shepard would want him to live his life, of that he had no doubt. It was he who had trapped himself in a self-inflicted prison for the past two years. Two long years without her. Survivor's guilt was one hell of a battle to fight, but he had pull through; he had picked himself up and dusted himself off, just as he had done after Brain Camp years ago. There were more dents and scratches on him than before, even a part of him was forever gone along with his Aerin that day two years ago – a part where nothing and no one could ever fill, but somehow he survived.

An advertisement flashing along the wall caught his attention. It was the Alliance recruitment ad. In of itself, it was nothing special, but the face on that giant screen was. He had seen that face repeatedly in his dreams and in his mind for the past two years. Commander Shepard – the perfect representation of what the Alliance stood for: Courage, strength, and sacrifice.

Even after she was gone, Shepard had never stopped being the Alliance poster child. _Aerin wouldn't like it._

For the longest time since the accident, he couldn't look at that advertisement without feeling the excruciating pain and biting bitterness. Now, Kaidan chose to linger in front of the screen with one thought on his mind: The picture didn't do the commander justice. Her eyes were much bluer in person.

_Hey, I miss you. You know that, right?_ Kaidan stared at that familiar face in the screen as if the picture of Shepard would give him a response.

The screen blinked and shifted to another advertisement. Kaidan shook his head faintly with a hint of wistful smile and continued his way. His friend was waiting.

–

A/N: Miss him? Didn't expect to see Alenko so soon, did you? If the first part sounds familiar, that's because it was from chapter 19 in Part 1, rewritten from Shepard's POV. Thank you for reading.

Contact info: gmail - pinoko19, tumblr - pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  



	4. Freedom's Progress

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 3: Freedom's Progress

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Hanger Bay

 

_ Cleaning her guns had always calmed her mind, but this time it didn't work. Shepard's hands moved quickly, striping her sniper rifle apart piece by piece, while her mind was somewhere else. This station used to belong to one of her crew – a woman she had trusted to watch her back ever since Eden Prime, a friend. Ashley Williams.  _

_ A friend who had died because of her decision, because she had chosen to save the man she had fallen for instead. Her fingers froze in mid air at that thought – the very same thought that had been haunting her every waking hour and every dream at night ever since Virmire.  _

_ No. She had chosen to protect the bomb from the Geth, to make sure there would never be a krogan slave army working for Saren, Shepard had tried to convince herself over and over again. Still, she had yet to believe herself.  _

_ Would she still go back to the bomb if Williams were the one guarding it? Yes, she wanted to believe that she would. But then Alenko would be dead. Kaidan would be dead... And that scared her more than she would admit. Shepard took a sharp breath and halted her train of thought, then willed herself to focus on the task at hand. _

_ Whatever her reasons might be, Ashley was dead, and it was because of her decision – a decision she had to live with for the rest of her life. _

_ Soft footsteps saved her from drowning inside her own head. From the corner of her eye, Shepard noticed Tali approaching hesitantly.  _

_ The young quarian stood by the station and observed Shepard's gun cleaning ritual for a short moment before she broke the silence, “It feels like we're getting near the end, doesn't it, Aerin? With Saren, I mean.” _

_ Shepard's hands slowed at that name. “It won't be much longer,” she said as she picked up the speed once more. “One way or another, it'll all be over soon.” _

“ _You'll find the Conduit before he does. I know you will. You have to,” Tali said with conviction._

_ Shepard nodded. “It's on Ilos. We'll head there soon.”  _ And it might be a one-way trip... _“We're going in without backup from the Council, Tali. It'll be very dangerous and I cannot guarantee you that we'll make it back...”_

“ _...What are you saying?”_

_ Shepard put down the rifle part and turned to face her friend. “You're young, Tali. And now you have the Geth data as a gift to bring back home, your Pilgrimage is technically over. You have family and friends waiting for you to go back. You don't have to take this risk with us.” _

“ _No! Maybe I don't have to, but I want to. This is my fight too!” Tali countered. “The Reapers won't spare the flotilla. I won't have a home to go back to if we don't stop them.”_

_ She was right, Shepard knew. _

“ _You've been good to me, Aerin. I want to be there for you. A lot of people treat quarians like second-class citizens. They just want us to go back to our fleet and disappear. But you've treated me like everyone else on your crew. Like an equal. That means a lot. And it says something about you. Whatever happens, I just want to say thank you for that.”_

_ Shepard smiled faintly at that. Tali had always been special to her, not as a good friend like Garrus, but like a little sister she had never had. “You don't have to thank me.” Shepard's voice was gentle. “You  _ are _an equal, Tali, and you deserve to be treated as one. Always remember that.”_

“ _Come here,” said Tali with her arms opened._

_ For a second, Shepard could only stare at her questioningly. _

“ _Come here,” Tali insisted, nodding. “Come on, I won't bite.”_

_ Shaking her head, with more than a hint of smile, Shepard stepped into her friend's waiting arms. Tali wrapped them around the her in a fierce embrace. “Thank you, Aerin, for everything.” _

“ _You're welcome...” Shepard gave her a pat on her back. As much as she hated to admit, she needed this hug. “I'm going to miss you when you go back to your own people, Tali.”_

“ _I'll miss you too, Aerin. But that won't happen for a while yet. I'll be right here any time you need me.”_

 

* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Cerberus Shuttle

 

Miranda silently observed her project. Shepard was lost in her own thoughts. Her stoic mask had slipped, Miranda noticed, revealing a softer longing look as the commander stared blankly at the dark space outside.

What was she thinking? The Alliance? Her home? Or perhaps Alenko? Miranda could come up with a list based on her knowledge on Shepard's history. What the commander had on her mind didn't concern Miranda, her physical condition, on the other hand, did.

Jacob had vouched for Shepard's combat prowess, and Miranda had always trusted his judgment. But no one knew better than Miranda that, as a matter of fact, Shepard was not ready for action. However, current circumstances had not allowed her more time to work on Shepard on the operating table. For now, she would have to keep a very close eye on her project, hoping that Shepard's willpower and all her implants would be enough to sustain her before she fully recovered.

“We should be there shortly, Shepard,” Miranda broke the silence, stealing Shepard's attention away from the view outside. “The Illusive Man put us under your command. Do you have any orders?”

That softer look was gone in the blink of an eye. “Are you sure you'll be comfortable following my orders?”

Whatever her flaws might be, at least Shepard was refreshingly straight forward, Miranda appreciated that.

“We didn't bring you back from the dead just to second guess you, Commander,” Jacob told her. “If the Illusive Man said you're in charge, you're in charge.”

Satisfied, Shepard nodded. “What did you find in the other colonies?”

“Nothing,” said Jacob. “No signs of attack, no corpses. Not even a trace of unusual genetic material to give us a clue. They just disappear, and we've got no target to go after.”

Shepard scowled mildly. “What makes you think this investigation will turn up anything new?”

“At other colonies, official investigators got there first. Sometimes looters or salvage teams as well. We're hoping to be the first ones there this time. Maybe find clues before somebody else disturbs the scene.”

The commander nodded again. “Our first priority is to look for survivors.”

_Not again._ “That's unlikely, Commander,” said Miranda. “No one was left at the other colonies. They were completely deserted.”

“Be nice to find somebody,” Jacob commented. “Anything's better than another ghost town.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Freedom's Progress

 

It was another ghost town with nothing but mechs. Shepard peeked out of her cover and fired at another one. The gun had started to become heavy in her hands, Shepard noticed with dismay. And she had missed shots in the last round of attack, shots she would never have missed before. They had only landed in less than half an hour, and fatigue had already reared its ugly head. That was something that had never happened before, not even during her rookie year. What the hell had happen to her?

Miranda had told her she had not fully recovered, but how far away from full recovery, Miranda had never mentioned. Judging from the dull pain on her torso and her legs, Shepard estimate perhaps she was 80% recovered, tops. But still, she had been through worse and survived. Pain would only heighten her senses.

Although she did morbidly wonder if she would one day fall apart, piece by piece.

Miranda disabled the weapons on a group of mechs before lifting another group in the air with her biotics. That was something Kaidan would have done, Shepard though while shooting the disabled mechs one by one systematically.

“You sure we haven't triggered any silent alarms?” asked Shepard, reloading her rifle.

“Positive,” said Jacob after killing the last mech.

“So where the hell did they come from?” Shepard mumbled to herself as she entered the next building, only to find this one occupied.

“Stop right there!” warned a quarian.

As much as she was glad to find survivors, Shepard was less than pleased to have a gun pointing at her. She aimed her rifle right at his helmet. “Put that down. Now,” said Shepard firmly. “We're here to help.”

A female quarian hurried over. “Prazza! You said you'd let me handle this!” She pushed his gun down and turned to Shepard.

Shepard's eyes couldn't be any wider. Even with her face hidden behind the mask, Shepard knew that voice all too well. “Tali?”

“Wait...” Tali gasped. “...Aerin?”

Shepard lowered her gun immediately. A grin of relief spread on her face; it was good to finally see a familiar face.

“I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!” claimed Prazza.

“Put those weapons down!” Tali ordered and took a few steps closer to Shepard. “Aerin Shepard? Is that... Is that really you?”

Shepard nodded, grinning.

“Shepard? Bullshit,” said Prazza. “Your old captain's dead, Tali.”

“It's me, Tali,” said Shepard, thinking of a way to prove herself. “I gave you the Geth data, did that help you? And you love Fleet and Floatila since you were a kid, you watched it every time you had a sleepover, and you know how to sing that song--”

Her words were interrupted by an abrupt hug from her friend.

“Keelah!” Tali squeezed her hard. “You're alive!”

Shepard returned the hug, her smile widened. “Recently. I was dead and was revived.”

“But... how?”

And just like that, Shepard's grin disappear. She took a step back. But instead of answering, she nodded at the gun pointing at her.

“Prazza, weapons down!” yelled Tali in exasperation. “This is definitely Commander Shepard.”

“Why is she working for Cerberus?”

“I... don't know,” said Tali.

“I died, Tali,” said Shepard. “Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me.”

“What?!”

Shepard decided to skip the Reapers part for now. There was no point in inducing panic before a conclusion had arrived. “They want me to investigate attacks on human colonies.”

“Likely story,” said Prazza with a hmph. “No organization would commit so many resources to bring back one soldier.”

“You haven't seen Shepard in action, Prazza,” said Tali. “Trust me, it was money well spent.”

_You might change your mind if you knew the number...._ Shepard skipped that part as well. Instead, she glanced at Tali's team. A few quarians were injured, lying on the floor, while the rest were tending to them. Gunshot wounds, Shepard noticed, most likely attacked by the mechs outside. “What are you doing here, Tali?”

“We are here looking for a young quarian named Veetor. He was here on Pilgrimage.”

“A quarian visiting a remote human colony for his Pilgrimage?” Shepard wondered out loud.

“Veetor likes the idea of helping a small settlement,” Tali explained. “He was always... nervous in crowds.”

“She means that he was unstable,” said Prazza. “Combine that with damage to his suit's CO2 scrubbers and infection from an open-air exposure, and he's likely delirious.”

Tali nodded. “When he saw us landing, he hid in a warehouse on the far side of the town. We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved.”

“We'll help you find him,” said Shepard.

“Commander--” Miranda started.

But Shepard cut her off, “Veetor is the only one who can tell us what happened here. We need to find him before he's too sick to talk.” She then turned back to Tali. “We'll work together, just like old times.”

“Good idea.” Tali nodded. “You'd need two teams to get pass the drones anyway.”

“Now we're working with Cerberus?” asked Prazza.

“No, Prazza, you're working for _me_ ,” said Tali with an air of authority. “If you can't follow orders, go wait on the ship.”

Shepard shook her head and hid a proud smirk. Her young friend had definitely grown up.

“We're better equipped for a frontal assault than they are, Commander,” Jacob suggested.

Tali nodded. “Head for the warehouse in the center of the colony. We'll circle the far side and draw off the drones to clear your path.”

“Your people really don't like Cerberus,” Shepard observed. “What did I miss?”

“They killed our people,” said Prazza, “infiltrated our floatila, and tried to blow up one of our ships.”

“That's not how I would've explained it exactly,” said Miranda with a shrug. “It was nothing personal.”

Shepard cast a glance at Miranda. “The end justifies the means again?”

“We could argue who kill who later,” said Jacob. “Right now we've got a job to do.”

“Agree,” said Tali. “We'll work together to get to Veetor.”

“Make sure to keep in radio contact,” Shepard suggested.

“Will do. Good luck, Aerin. Whatever happens, it's good to have you back.”

For the first time since she had woken up on that cold hard operating table a few hours ago, Shepard finally felt good to be back.

 

* * *

 

Location: Freedom's Progress Warehouse

 

The warehouse was empty, except for a quarian sitting in front of a control station. _Finally, a witness to give us some answers_ , Miranda thought as she followed Shepard into the warehouse.

“Monsters coming back,” a quarian mumbled to himself without noticing their presence. “Mechs will protect. Safe from swarms. Have to hide. No monsters. No swarms. No-no-no-no-no.”

“Veetor?” Shepard called out.

“No Veetor,” said the quarian as he continued to type away on the panel. “Not here. Swarms can't find. Monsters coming. Have to hide.”

“Veetor,” Shepard tried again without success.

“I don't think he can hear you, Commander,” said Jacob.

Miranda snorted softly. “Great. We come all this way, and our only witness is a babbling idiot.” As much as she would like to smack the quarian herself, she had to let Shepard handle the situation. After all, her boss had put her under Shepard's command; this was Shepard's show.

“Nobody's gonna hurt you anymore,” Shepard assured the young quarian. “You're safe now, Veetor. Tali'Zorah sent me.”

“Swarms coming. Storm coming. Storm of swarms. Mechs will protect. Heave to hide. Have to hide.”

Shepard's omni-tool lit up. Miranda watched curiously as the commander's fingers danced on its screen briefly. A second later, all the screens turned dark. The quarian startled at the sudden change and turned his attention to them at last. Miranda raised an eyebrow at the Shepard's action; it was simple but effective.

“You're... not one of them,” the quarian mumbled. “You're human. They... they didn't find you?”

“Who didn't find us?” asked Miranda.

“The... the monsters. The swarms. They took everyone.”

“We're not survivors, Veetor,” said Shepard. “We just got here.”

“You don't know. You didn't see. But I see everything.” He turned to press a few keys and the screens once again came to live.

Miranda quickly scanned across all of them. “Looks like security footage. He must have pieced it together manually.”

“What the hell is that?” asked Jacob, pointing at a particular movement on the footage.

Miranda paused the vid and focused on it. _It can't be._ Frowning, she zoomed in to take a closer look. “My god. I think it's a Collector.”

“Collector?” asked Shepard.

“They're species from somewhere beyond the Omega 4 relay,” Jacob explained. “Only a few people have seen one in person.”

“They usually work through intermediaries,” Miranda added, “like slavers or hired mercenaries. If they're involved with the Reapers somehow, it could explain what happened to the colonies.”

Jacob nodded in agreement. “The Collectors have advanced technology. They could have a weapon that disables an entire settlement at once.”

“The seeker swarms,” said Veetor. “No one can hide. The seekers find you. Freeze you. Then the monsters take you away.”

“Why didn't the Collectors take you?” asked Shepard.

“Swarms didn't fine me. Monsters didn't know I was here.”

“The Collectors aren't known for being careless,” said Jacob. “Maybe his enviro suit kept him from showing up on their sensors.”

_No, there has to be more to it..._ Miranda pondered for a second. “Or they were using technology specifically designed to detect humans,” she suggested, then backed up with a solid reason, “Only human colonies have been hit.”

The knot between Shepard's brows only tightened at that theory. The commander then turned back to the quarian. “Tell me more about these swarms.”

“It's how they find you. Seeker clouds. Machines like tiny insects. They'll go everywhere. They find you then they sting you. Freeze you.”

“Sounds like miniature probes, maybe,” said Miranda. “Find victims and immobilize them with a stasis field or a nerve toxin.”

“Go on, Veetor,” Shepard encouraged. “What happened next?”

“The monsters took the people onto the ship, and then they left. The ship flew away. But they'll be back for me. No one escapes!”

“I think that's probably all we're getting out of him, Commander,” said Jacob.

“Thank you, Veetor,” said Shepard kindly. “You've been very helpful.”

“I studied them. The monsters. The swarms. I record them with my omni-tool. Lots of readings. Electro-magnetic. Dark energy.”

Miranda arched an eyebrow and suggested quickly before Shepard had any other ideas, “We need to get this data to the Illusive Man.” She then turned to Jacob. “Grab the quarian and call the shuttle to come pick us up.”

The door opened and Tali stepped in. “What? Veetor is injured! He needs treatments, not an interrogation!”

_Great. Perfect timing..._

“We won't hurt him,” Jacob assured the quarian. “We just need to see if he knows anything else. He'll be returned unharmed.”

“If we give him to you, we'll never get the intel we need,” Miranda pointed out.

“You're welcome to take Veetor's omni-tool data,” said Tali. “But please, just let me take him.”

“You don't have to take Veetor and go,” said Shepard. “We could work together. Just like old times.”

“I want to, Aerin, but I can't.” Tali shook her head. “I've got a mission of my own. It's too important for me to abandon. Even for you. When it's over, and I'm still alive, we'll see what happens...”

Shepard scowled faintly. “That sounds dangerous. What are you doing?”

“I don't think Cerberus needs to hear about it,” said the quarian, pointedly ignored both Miranda and Jacob. “But it's in Geth's space, that should tell you how important it is.”

_You don't have to tell us. We'll find out soon enough._

Shepard turned to Miranda. “He's traumatized and he needs medical care. Tali will give us the omni-tool data and take him to the floatilla.”

_You've got to be kidding me._ Holding back a scowl, Miranda decided to compromise. “We'll make sure that he's treated before we question him further, if that's what you're worried about. Our medical facility is much better equipped than their ship. We can get him to the closest on in less than an hour.”

“No,” said Shepard decisively. “We'll copy the data. Veetor will go back to Tali.”

It was nothing but a sentimental decision, a waste of a perfect opportunity to question the sole witness surviving a giant mystery. Yet, it was Shepard's show, Miranda reminded herself begrudgingly.

“Understood, Commander.” Her voice was crisp, her tone was icy, her disapproval was unmistakable. Her unspoken message couldn't scream 'it was a big mistake' louder without explicitly stating the obvious. Still, Shepard didn't seem to care as she proceeded to copy the data onto her omni-tool.

While Shepard had proven her combat prowess despite her current physical condition, her questionable judgments still remained as a major concern. Miranda could only wish her project wouldn't turn out to be a liability to their cause. One very expensive liability at that.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch26 “Shepard's Six”, rewritten from Shepard's POV. Why all the flashbacks? Think about them as those “previously on [insert TV show title]” clips shown before an episode. For the benefits of those who didn't read part 1, and those who have forgotten what went on. I'll rewrite them from different POV though, giving you two different takes on the same event, because all stories have multiple sides. Glad I've the chance to explore from different angles.

Thanks for reading!

  
  



	5. Tebula Rasa

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 4: Tebula Rasa

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Bridge

 

_Ilos, the lost planet, was right in front of her. Time to end this once and for all._

“ _Drop us in the mako,” Shepard ordered._

“ _You need at least a hundred meters of open terrain to pull of a drop like that,” said Pressly. “The most I can find near Saren is twenty.”_

“ _Twenty meters? We can't make a drop in there.”_

“ _We have to try.”_

“ _Find another landing zone.”_

“ _There is no other landing zone!”_

“ _The descend angle is too steep!”_

“ _It's our only option.”_

“ _It's not an option, it's a suicide run!”_

_Shepard's lips thinned as she blocked out all the arguments around her. Her eyes focused on nothing but the numerous Reaper vessels circling the planet._

“ _I can do it,” said Joker suddenly, silencing everyone on the bridge._

_His was the only opinion that mattered at this crucial moment. Shepard tore her attention away from the ships outside and glanced at the pilot seating right in front of her. “Joker?” asked Shepard, skipping the next three words: Are you sure?_

_There was a second delay in response, very uncharacteristic of the fast-talking pilot. And then came a firm confirmation, “I can do it.”_

_That was all Shepard needed to hear. She turned to her team and ordered, “Gear up and head down to the mako. Joker, drop us right on top of that bastard.”_

_The pilot nodded. “Aye, aye, Commander.”_

_Her team dissipated from the crowded cockpit. Shepard lingered behind and gave a customary pat on her pilot's shoulder before leaving._

“ _Hey, Commander,” Joker called out._

_Shepard stopped in her tracks. “Yeah?”_

“ _Good luck down there.”_

_She nodded, noticing that slight hesitation in his voice. He needed her, Shepard suddenly realized, not just as a friend but as a leader. “You are the best pilot, Joker. If anyone can pull this off, it's you.”_

_His usually cocky grin reappeared. “Damn right I am.”_

“ _Now is your chance to show off your skill, Mister,” Shepard told him with a hint of smirk. “Drop us in nice and quiet, and drinks are on me when this is over.”_

_Joker's grin widened. “Yes, ma'am! Oh, and Commander? Punch that bastard for me.” He tipped his cap at her just like the first time he had met her._

_Shepard smiled fondly at the memories of those peaceful days before she turned and headed down to the mako. She didn't need to believe a word she had just said, she only needed him to believe her, and in turn, believe in himself. Because their lives, as well as the faith of the galaxy, now rested in the skillful hands of the pilot she had come to trust and like._

_Joker would not screw this up, Shepard knew. He couldn't._

 

* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Cerberus Space Station

 

“Shepard,” the Illusive Man greeted. “Good work on Freedom's Progress. The quarians forwarded their findings on Veetor's debriefing. No new data, but it's a surprising olive branch given our history. You and I have different methods, but I can't argue with your results.”

_But I can argue with your methods._ “You ever think about playing nice once in a while?”

The Illusive Man didn't seem to be insulted, not even a bit. “Diplomacy is great when it works, but difficult when everyone perceive you as a threat. But more importantly, you confirmed that the Collectors are behind the abductions.”

_Confirmed?_ Shepard raised an eyebrow at that interesting choice of word. “Why do I have a feeling that you knew about them already?”

“I had my suspicions,” the Illusive Man admitted, “but I needed proofs. The Collectors are enigmatic at best. They periodically travels to the Terminus Systems, looking to gather seemingly unimportant items or specimens. Usually in exchange for their technology. When their transactions are complete, they disappeared as quickly as they arrived, back beyond the unmapped Omega 4 Relay. Until now we have no evidence of direct aggression by the Collectors.”

Shepard remained quiet for a second, digesting all the information. Collectors, Omega 4 Relay, those were all unfamiliar to her. Did the Alliance know about all these? Questions started popping up inside her head by the dozens; she needed answers.

“What do we know about the Omega 4 Relay?”

“Only that no ship passing through it has ever returned. Our best guess it the relay reacts differently to Collector vessels, allowing them safe passage. If they can manipulate relays, that's just further evidence of the connection with the Reapers.”

“What are the Collectors getting from these deals?”

“The Collectors aren't very forthcoming about their motives. Genarally they seek out species with rare genetic mutations or abnormalities. They pay slavers and merc groups exorbanant sums to obtain these specimens, and then they leave. But they've never targeted a single specie before, and the previous sample sizes were in the dozens, not the tens of thousands.”

“Any ideas why they've shifted their attention to humans?”

“If they're agents for the Reapers, it could be any number of reasons. Obviously, humanity has played a huge role in Sovereign's destruction. That might have been enough to draw their attention. What really concerns me is why they bother abducting the colonists. Once the humans are paralyzed, why not just kill them?”

As much as Shepard was impressed by the Illusive Man's knowledge, she also noticed his answers never reveal anything more than what she asked. “You're holding something back. How do you know the Reapers are involved?”

“The patterns are there, buried in the data. The Council and the Alliance want to believe the Reaper threat died with Sovereign, you and I know better. I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. We need to take the fight to them.”

Shepard had to agree with him. The best defense sometimes was offense. “If this is a war, I'll need an army. Or a really good team.”

“I've already compiled a list of soldiers, scientists, and mercenaries. You'll get dossiers of the best of them. Finding them and convincing them to work with you could be challenging, but you're a natural leader--”

“Keep your list,” Shepard cut him off. “I already have a team. I want people I trust – the ones who helped me stop Saren and the Geth.”

For a fraction of a second, the Illusive Man seemed mildly amused. “That was two years ago, Commander. Most of them have moved on or their allegiances have changed.”

_Not my team,_ Shepard almost blurted out. “Is there something I should know?”

“Take a look at the dossiers before you dismiss them. You'll need all the help you can get to win this war. I'll continue to track the Collectors, when they make their next appearance, I'll notify you and your team. Be ready.”

_So you're my boss now?_ Shepard held back a snort. “What about Miranda and Jacob? Are they coming with me?”

“They are.”

Shepard had a feeling it wasn't even negotiable, but still she had to try. “And if I don't want them?”

“You've seen them in action in Freedom's Progress. They're some of the best, they can help you. I've put them under your command. You can trust them.”

“Am I supposed to trust them just because you say so?”

“There's no one more protective of you than Miranda; she has spent two years of her life rebuilding you. You might not get along with her right now, but you two have more in common than you think. As for Jacob, he used to be with the Alliance, he knows how to follow orders and he respects you.” He studied her for a second. “You're a leader, Shepard. You might not get who you want, but you'll get who you need.”

“What I need is an army. I'm still a Spectre, maybe I can get the Council or the Alliance to help us out.”

Again, that ever-so slightly hint of amusement slipped through his tone. “If you think you can convince them, by all means.” The Illusive Man paused then gave Shepard an unreadable look. “Just remember, you've been gone a long time. Things have changed.”  
  


* * *

 

That ice queen Miranda spoke only three words to him when Joker arrived at the space station: Shepard's down there.

It was all she needed to send him limping away as quickly as his legs could carry him. If this turned out to be a hoax, Joker swore on anything that was unholy that he would quit his job as a pilot for Cerberus. As much as he loved a good joke, something was sacred and never meant to be messed around with. To him, one of those things was the captain of his beloved SSV Normandy SR1, the woman who had died two years ago because of him.

He had heard rumors about a project called Lazarus, that Cerberus was rebuilding Shepard in their secret lair. But Joker wasn't born yesterday; he had read his share of conspiracy theories on the extranet. Hell, he might even help start one or two of them. Allegedly, of course. While resurrection ranked pretty low on the crazy meter in terms of rumors and conspiracies, never had it directly hit home to him.

He had seen Shepard spaced. No one could ever survived that, not even _the_ Commander Shepard. And a few hours ago they had told him Shepard was back, and he was assigned to be her pilot once more.

_Yeah, right._ Joker snorted. _And I just got back from running a marathron..._

Jeff Moreau was no sucker; he had to see it to believe it. Maybe they meant an advanced VI of Shepard, or even a mech with a hot body and her likeness as its face. That was certainly more likely that raising the dead.

Joker wasn't sure what to expect when he hobbled down the stairs. The room was dark. Light from the stairs illuminated the back of a woman. Judging by the silhouette, that was no VI, or not even mech. It was a woman in armor, same height and build as his former commander.

“All right. What's the other thing?” the woman asked the hologram of the Illusive Man. Even her voice was the same as Shepard.

_Shit! No... Really?_

“I've found a pilot I think you might like. I've heard he's one of the best, someone you can trust.”

The scanners around her began to power down slowly as the meeting was concluded. Joker waited with thousands thoughts racing through his mind. If this was really Shepard, would she hate him? He was the reason she hadn't escaped with the rest of the crew. He was the reason she had died. What if she was still pissed at him and decided to beat the shit out of him? _Well, I deserve it,_ Joker thought. If breaking every one of his bones would make her forgive him, he would still consider it a bargain.

The woman turned around. Light now shone on her face. She squinted momentarily to adjust to the brighter light, and Joker took that time to take a good look at her face before she beat him up. Standing in front of him in her new armor was really the one and only Commander Shepard. Alive and breathing and blinking. Cerberus had not been shitting him after all; they had really brought back the dead.

_Son of a bitch! They did it!_

Shepard's blue eyes widened when they landed on him. Joker couldn't contain his grin even when an ass-kicking of his lifetime was just around the corner. “Hey Commander. Just like old times, huh?”

“Joker?” Shepard closed the distance with two strides of her long legs. “It's you!”

Joker braced for a punch in the face when Shepard raised her arm, but instead he was pulled into a hug. Being smashed against her armor wasn't exactly the most comfortable, but Joker had never been happier in the past two years.

“Ouch, my ribs!” he complained yet hugged her back just as fiercely.

She let go of him with a wide grin on her face. Joker was close enough to check out the newly resurrected Commander Shepard. Besides the fresh scars on her face and that red glow in her eyes, she looked exactly the same. Whatever space magic Cerberus had pulled to reconstruct her was nothing short of a miracle.

“Can't believe it's you, Joker,” said Shepard with a shake of her head, smiling.

“Look who's talking! I saw you get spaced.” Joker hobbled back up the stairs, leading her out of that creepy dungeon.

Shepard followed. “Got lucky. With a lot of strings attached. How'd you get here?”

That wiped the grin on his face. “Long story.”

“I'm listening.”

Joker knew. She always had. “It all fell apart without you, Commander. Everything you stirred up, the Council just wanted it gone. The team was broken up, records sealed, and I was grounded. The Alliance took away one thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah, I joined Cerberus.”

“What happened to the rest of the crew?” asked Shepard. “I've heard most of them survived.”

“Most did. Pressly didn't.”

“Where are they now?”

Joker shrugged. “I don't know. Kaidan's still with the Alliance. I've no idea where the rest of them are. We just sort of drifted apart. The Alliance didn't care. I don't think they liked all the non-humans in your crew. We were your team, Commander. With the Normandy destroyed and you gone, there wasn't much keeping us together.”

Shepard went quiet for a moment. He recognized that thoughtful look. The commander was calculating her next step, no doubt, or perhaps even the next ten steps. Joker noticed her scars had the same red glow as her eyes. What she had been through to live again, he couldn't even begin to guess.

“You really trust The Illusive Man?” asked the commander.

He snorted. “I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do. But they aren't all bad. Saved your life. Let me fly... And there's this.” He motioned her over to the windows looking over to the hanger. A grin spread on his face when he saw the beauty sleeping inside. Spotlights flickered on one by one to showcase the ship waiting for them. And it was not just any ship. It was a new and improved SR1, the SR2 model.

Joker heard an audible gasp from Shepard.

“They only told me last night.” He glanced over at the commander and saw a same grin on her face too. “It's good to be home, huh, Commander?”

Shepard stared at the new ship with wide eyes. “Sure is...” she breathed, nodding. “I guess we have to give her a name.”

“Normandy,” they said in unison.

“Can't think of any better name,” said Shepard.

“The new Normandy and the new Shepard. Now all we need to do is to stir up some shit and have the Council ignore our warnings, then it'll be just like old times.”

“Commander.” Miranda approached. “If that's the name you want, I'll tell them to put it on right away. Then we can prepare to take off.”

Shepard nodded. “Do it.”

Joker hid a smirk. It sure was nice to see Shepard bossing the ice queen around. As hot as she was, Miranda scared the shit out of him. But that didn't stop him from sneaking a peek at her asset as she walked away to carry out her orders. Okay, maybe more than a peek.

When Joker turned his attention back to Shepard, he saw her staring longingly at their brand new Normandy, lost in her own thoughts. As smoothly as their reunion had been going so far, there was one thing Joker had to do – something that had been stuffed inside his chest for the past two years. Now he finally had the chance to do it.

“Hey Commander...”

Shepard didn't move, but he saw a slight arch of her eyebrow to acknowledge him.

_Here goes..._ “Look, I'm really sorry--”

She turned to him and met his eyes. “I don't blame you, Jeff.”

Joker had no idea how much he needed to hear this from her until now. A weight that had been dragging him down since that day two years ago was now dropped with those five simple words.

“I'm going to find out who attacked us and make them pay for what they did to us,” Shepard continued. “I promised you that, remember? For now, let's focus on the Collectors and the Reapers. We've beat them once, we'll beat them again.”

That's the Shepard he had come to like and respect. It sure felt good to have her back. Joker nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I'm with you one hundred percent, Commander! Let's give them hell.”

 

* * *

 

Shepard watched as they painted the name on the ship. Normandy. A new ship, a new armor, and a new team. A clean slate for a second chance in life. At least she still had her old pilot. There was no one she trusted more than Joker to fly her around.

But then again, perhaps not everything had to be new. She could contact her old team. Kaidan was still with the Alliance. Garrus was probably a Spectre by now. Perhaps Liara was in some remote site digging once more. And Wrex... Shepard couldn't even begin to guess where her krogan friend was. Two years ago they had gotten together by chance – or fate if she believed in that sort of thing. But the galaxy is huge, even if she could find them, would they be willing to join her once again? 

Shepard shook her head, shoving away all her doubts. They would come and help her, of course they would. Things might have changed, like the Illusive Man had emphasized, but bonds like the ones she shared with her team, those could not be easily broken. Not even with time, no matter how many years had passed.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch 30 “Ilos”. Thanks for reading.

  
  



	6. It's Good to be Home

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 5: It's Good to be Home

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2

 

“Welcome aboard the new Normandy, Commander,” said Jacob.

Shepard sucked in a breath of cool air, awe-struck by her brand new ship. Although she had been on numerous Alliance vessels, the new Normandy was unlike any ship she had ever seen. From the outside, the sheer size of the SR-2 was impressive enough – about twice as big as the original Normandy, but it was the interior that took her breath away. Brightly lit hallway guided her gaze towards the CIC waiting for her to her right, while various control panels in the state of the art cockpit called for her attention to her left.

The pilot seat twirled around, revealing Joker sitting comfortably in his new throne.

“Can you believe this, Commander?” Joker grinned ear to ear at her. “It's my baby, better than new! It fits me like a glove!”

Shepard approached with her head shaking at her pilot's excitement. At least one of them was enjoying their current predicament. A ghost of smile surfaced before she realized it.

Joker patted the arm rest of his seat. “And leather seats! Military may set the hardware standard, but on a first-gen frigate they couldn't care less if the seats breathe.” He nodded with approval. “Civilian sector comfort by design.”

Joker was right. Unlike the utilitarian military version SR-1, the civilian version SR-2 blended luxury and function in its design. Shepard could get used to this...

A holographic globe popped up on one side of the helm, catching Shepard's attention. “The reproduction is not intended to be perfect, Mr. Moreau,” said a mechanical yet feminine voice. “Seamless improvements were made.”

“And there's the downside...” Joker muttered grumpily, giving the blue globe a side eye.

Shepard couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at it. “Who are you?”

“I am the Normandy's artificial intelligence,” said the globe with its lights blinking as though it was moving its mouth with each word. “Enhanced defense intelligence. The crew like to refer to me as EDI.”

_An AI?_ Shepard's eyebrow raised further. “Helmsmen aren't happy when someone takes control of a ship away from them,” she pointed out. “Especially Joker.”

“Yeah, what she said.” Joker nodded.

“I do not helm the ship,” EDI clarified. “Mr. Moreau's talents will not go to waste. During combat, I operate the electronic warfare and cyberwarfare suites. Beyond that, I cannot interface with the ship's systems. I observe and offer analysis and advice. Nothing more.” EDI switched off by itself.

“I liked the Normandy when she's beautiful and quiet,” said Joker, still glaring at the now-empty station where EDI had been just a second ago. “Now she's got this thing I don't want to talk about. It's like ship cancer.”

“Everything has a price, Joker,” Shepard told her pilot with a silent sigh. “Consider EDI the price you have to pay to get your baby back.” The price she had to pay for her life was even higher – working with the enemies.

“Now we're all gonna be monitored by an AI 24/7. Jerks...” Joker made a face, to which Shepard merely shook her head and gave him a comforting pat on his shoulder. In that particular moment, time seemed to have melted away and they were once again back on the bridge of SR-1. Shepard swore if she turned around, she would find Kaidan patiently waiting for her only a few steps away, as always.

But when she turned around, it wasn't Kaidan who was behind her.

“Shall we, Commander?” asked Miranda, gesturing towards the CIC.

Being flung back to reality and landed hard on her ass, Shepard swallowed the bitter disappointment and headed down the hall.

While her pilot seemed right at home on the new SR-2, Shepard, however, needed a moment to get used to the sheer size of the CIC. Cerberus not only made one hell of an armor, apparently they could build one hell of a ship.

“I've been looking over the dossiers,” Miranda started. “I'd strongly recommend starting by acquiring Mordin Solus, the salarian professor on Omega. We know the Collectors use some type of advanced technology to immobilize their victims. We'll need him to develop a countermeasure to protect us.”

“Agree,” said Shepard. “Without that countermeasure, we'll be helpless if we ever run into the Collectors.”

“Commander,” a few crew members greeted as they headed to their stations.

Shepard glanced around. The ship seemed to have a full crew already. “You assembled a crew in such short notice?”

“We've been preparing for this day for two years,” said Jacob. “Ever since we recovered your body and started Project Lazarus.”

Miranda nodded. “The Normandy has a full crew. They're at their stations awaiting for your orders. Jacob is in charge of the weapons in the armory. I'll be your executive office, my office next to the mess hall. We should return to our posts. Come find us if you have any questions.”

Jacob gave her a sharp salute before leaving with Miranda. Shepard took a moment to get her bearings and wrap her head over everything – her death, her resurrection, her collaboration with Cerberus, and now the new ship and new crew.

Her new ship. Cerberus had spared no expense in rebuilding her, and from the look of it, they had the same policy with the new Normandy.

Without warning, the floor underneath her boots began to wiggle and the ship started to spin. Shepard immediately held onto the railing nearby, using all the strength that was left to steady her body. The headache she had been ignoring, as well as the pain in her torso, had come back to haunt her. It wouldn't do any good for the morale if the captain collapsed in the CIC before the ship even set sail. Shepard had to find her cabin, and she'd better find it fast.

“Commander Shepard,” a red-haired woman approached to her with a warm smile.

Shepard cursed silently and straightened up.

“...Are you all right?” asked the woman when she studied Shepard's face.

“I'm fine.” Shepard wondered if her armor was the only thing that was holding her together like a shell.

“I am Yeoman Kelly Chambers. I've been assigned as your administrative assistant.” The yeoman gave her a salute. “I'll manage your messages and help you monitor the crew.”

_My secretary? You serious?_ “I don't need anyone going through my messages.”

“Don't worry, Commander. I respect of your privacy and the privacy of others. I don't read your mails.”

Shepard held back a frown. “Isn't that a task better suited for a VI?”

“Yes, but being your yeoman is just my official role. Unofficially, I observe the crew,” said Kelly. “Everyone knows how risky our mission is. Many of us may not be coming back. That's a lot of pressure. I have a degree in psychology. I'm good at sensing when people are overly taxed. I make sure the crew's mental health is sounded. I look for warning signs. I listen. It's not a full-time job, and it's most effective when it's done informally.”

A shrink serving on a warship. Somehow, that reminded Shepard of that space-adventure book series she used to read as a kid. “It's good to have someone with your skill on board, Miss Chambers.”

“Thank you, Commander. But please, call me Kelly. I was hand-picked by the Illusive Man to help fight the greatest threat known humanity. I've heard so much about you. I must say, it's such an honor to work under you, Commander Shepard.”

_Not everything you hear is true._ Shepard didn't know why this woman was so genuinely excited to work for Cerberus. For now, she didn't care, not when her skull was splitting in halves.

“Let me show you to your cabin.”

“Thanks, Kelly.”

Kelly led her into the elevator. “How are you feeling, Commander?”

_How am I feeling?_ Shepard shut her eyes momentarily to control the pain. _This entire thing feels like a nightmare. All I need to do is to wake up and all these will be gone. When I open my eyes, the first thing I'll see is Kaidan sleeping next to me. None of this has happened, none of this is real..._

When she opened her eyes, she was still in the moving elevator, and her companion was still the over-enthusiastic yeoman, not the man she was supposed to spend her life with. Reality once again left that bitter taste inside her mouth.

“Commander? Are you all right? You don't look too well.”

“Still getting used to being alive again.”

Kelly nodded sympathetically. “It must be a traumatic experience to die and come back alive.”

_You have no idea..._ “I'll be fine.”

“If you need to talk, my door is always open.”

Thankfully the elevator stopped, Shepard stepped out immediately.

Kelly opened the door to the only room on this floor. “Welcome home, Commander.”

Shepard's eyes widened at the space inside. And she thought the CIC was impressive...

“Bathroom is here. Private terminate over at the study. Living space down there. And my absolute favorite feature – a window right above your bed, so you can count the stars right before you fall asleep every night.”

Shepard took a few seconds to take in every feature in the room. Even though she had never seen the inside of any admiral's private office, she would bet all her money that this was even more luxurious than Hackett's fifth fleet cabin.

Something along the wall caught her eyes. “Is that a... fish tank?”

“Yes, it is. It's empty right now, but we can stock up with some exotic fish. If you're too busy, I can take care of them for you. After a stressful day, there's nothing more relaxing that sitting there on the couch and sipping a glass of wine and watching your fish swim freely in this tank while listening to music from the stereo system by your bedside.”

Shepard chose not to comment on Chambers' personal choice for relaxation. She preferred a gun and a shooting range with Garrus, or a quiet night with Kaidan.

“Should I give you a tour to the rest of the ship?”

“I'll find my way.”

“Okay, Commander. If you change your mind, let me know. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask EDI.”

“EDI is here too?”

Right on cue, a blue globe popped up on a console by the door. “Yes, Shepard.”

Shepard scowled. “Is there no privacy?”

“I'm afraid you can't turn EDI off, Commander,” said Kelly. “EDI _is_ the Normandy. It would be like asking you not to feel your hand when it's part of you.”

_At least my hand doesn't watch me sleep._ Joker was right on the money, they were being watched by an AI 24/7. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Doctor Chakwas asked you to see her as soon as you have time.”

“Chakwas?” Shepard couldn't believe her ears. “Karin Chakwas?”

“Yes, the same Dr. Chakwas who has served with you.”

“She left the Alliance?”

“She joined us after she knew you're with us. So did our engineers as well as many of our crew. We believe in you, Commander. We believe you will defeat the Collectors and the Reapers.”

_...No pressure._

Kelly continued with a smile, “Everyone knows you are the hero of the Citadel. You are humanity's best hope.”

Shepard scowled slightly at those titles. Humanity's best hope working with a dangerous terrorist group who experimented on human and other species. There had to be an irony in there, somewhere.

“Also, Operative Lawson mentioned that you should start your physical training with Operative Taylor.”

“Here on the ship?”

“Yes. We just finished setting up a gym in the hanger bay. That was a last minute suggestion by Miranda. I think it's a good idea.”

Shepard decided to try her luck. “Do we have a shooting range?”

“Shooting range?” Kelly seemed surprised by the question. “Is it safe to have one on the ship?”

“I don't miss,” said Shepard. “Not usually...” She had missed too many shots today, probably more than she had in the past decade combined.

“I'm sorry, Commander, we don't have a shooting range. But we do have a bar and a very lovely observation lounge.”

“A bar?” Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You've got to be kidding me.”

Kelly smiled. “I'm not. A little drink or two is the best way to wind down after a tough mission.”

_Is there anything Cerberus hasn't thought of?_

“You've been through a lot, Commander. Take a moment to breath and collect your thoughts. And if you ever need to talk--”

Shepard cut her off immediately, “I'll let you know.”

“The closet by your bed has several sets of outfit for you to choose from when you want to change into something more comfortable. All tailor-made just for you.”

They might provide the best outfits, but what Shepard wanted the most was her old hoodie. Although she doubted it was waiting for her inside the closet. It had gone down with the old Normandy along with her old life. And she wanted both of them back.

“The dossiers of your potential new team members are on your terminal. And you have a new message.”

A new message? Who already knew she was here? “All right. Thanks.”

“If there's nothing else, I'll be in the CIC if you need me.”

The second the door closed, Shepard collapsed onto the chair by the desk and doubled over in pain. All the adrenaline she had accumulated in the battlefield had long worn off, so had the pain killer Miranda had given her before Freedom's Progress. Shepard peeled off her gauntlets and tossed them onto the desk. She pressed her hand onto the side of her torso, half-expected to see blood on her palm. Thankfully, there was none. At least not yet. Perhaps it was time to pay Dr. Chakwas a visit before she fell apart piece by piece.

A sudden flicker from the corner of her eye caught her attention. The blank picture frame on her desk blinked and came alive from idle mode when the gauntlets landed right in front of it. Shepard froze at the face inside.

It was Kaidan.

A thousand thoughts rushed to her head. Why was his picture here? How did Cerberus even know about their relationship when they had kept it under wraps? Did they recruit him as well?

No, no, Joker had told her Kaidan was still with the Alliance.

Shepard reached for the frame and stared at the picture within. _They have moved on... Things have changed..._ the Illusive Man's voice rang inside her head. The last time she had seen Kaidan was on the Normandy. To her, the last two years felt nothing more than a nap. To him, it was two years, perhaps two very painfully long years. Things might have changed, but had he?

_No... Not him._

Kaidan needed to know that she was alive, that humanity was at risk, and that she needed him by her side.

Putting down the picture gently, Shepard turned to her terminal. Just as Kelly had told her, a message was waiting for her in the inbox. Shepard blinked hard at the name of the sender: David Anderson.

The message was brief, as with all other messages from Anderson in the past. The councilor wanted to confirm the rumor that she was indeed alive and wanted to meet with her. Shepard should be glad to hear from her mentor – and she was, but there was a part of her that dreaded this meeting. Two years ago, Anderson had ordered her to stop her investigation on Cerberus, not wanting her to tangle with that group. Shepard doubted he would be thrilled to know she was now involved with them. Involuntarily or not.

But if he sent his message here, he already knew about Cerberus... Shepard winced, picturing Anderson's stern disapproval and disappointment inside her head. He was giving her a chance to tell her side of the story though, he couldn't be too mad at her. Besides, she needed Anderson's help, both with the Council and the Alliance. Reluctantly, Shepard hit reply and wrote,  _'Rumor is true. I'm alive. Will meet you at Citadel ASAP.'_

Shepard leaned back on the chair, feeling dazed for a moment. If Anderson knew about her, then he would tell Kaidan...

Kaidan, of all people, should hear this news from her directly, Shepard determined. If she hadn't died two years ago, they would probably be married by now...

Shaking her head at what could-have-been and should-have-been, Shepard shoved all the thoughts away and composed a message. She quickly typed in the address she knew by heart then her fingers froze.

What could she say without giving him a heart attack? That she was a four-billion-credit project rebuilt by Cerberus? That she was using Cerberus' resource to fight the Collectors? That she might have gotten the Reapers' attention by killing one of them, and now they're targeting human because of her action?

Shepard stared blankly at the screen. She needed to see him in person, to talk to him, to ask for his advice. She needed his guns, his biotics, his ears, his brain, his shoulder, his arms. She needed him.

_They have moved on... Things have changed..._

Had he? Shepard was almost too afraid to find out. In the end, all she wrote was no more than a few words,  _'Kaidan, I've been revived. We need to talk. Aerin.'_

She hit send with a silent sigh then spoke to the comm, “Joker, set a course to the Citadel.”

“Aye, aye, Commander.” The pilot's cheerful voice rang loud and clear, just like old times. Shepard took a bit comfort in his presence.

She was not alone in this, Shepard reminded herself. Joker was with her, as well as Chakwas. Through Anderson, she would find Kaidan. Maybe from there, she could find Garrus, Wrex, and Liara. Despite what the Illusive Man had said, they would always have her back. This was her mission, her team, her fight to win. Not the Illusive Man's, not Cerberus.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

A movement on her monitor stole Miranda's attention from her report. Through the security camera on deck one, she saw Shepard exiting her room and heading to the elevator. Curious, Miranda stopped her work and enlarged the screen.

The first thing that caught her eyes was Shepard's outfit. Among all the outfits that had been put in her closet, Shepard had chosen the standard uniform. Miranda shook her head with disapproval. As the leader of this mission and the captain of this ship, Shepard should have stood out more instead of blending in with the rest of the crew. If she were Shepard, she would have picked that nicely tailored black suit.

Shepard's fashion sense had always been questionable, Miranda had found out ever since she had seen Shepard wearing a hoodie to the Silver Coast casino two years ago. N7-exclusive or not, that shapeless jacket flattered no one, not even Shepard. But as much as she wanted to, Miranda wasn't about to interfere with Shepard's choice of outfit, unless it was mission-related, of course. Well, that didn't mean she couldn't pull a few strings. Shepard didn't have a hoodie in her closet anymore, Miranda had made sure of that.

Miranda cycled through different cameras to track the commander's movements. Shepard's adjustment to her new life had been better than Miranda had expected. Only a day ago, the commander had still been in medically-induced coma, recovering from numerous surgeries. And now, she was among her new crew, greeting everyone politely as she headed to the mess hall. Miranda observed with secret pride.

To this very moment, Miranda was still amazed by her own handiwork. From a charred body, to a pile of cloned organs, to this walking and breathing woman, Shepard had to be her best work yet. Miranda idly wondered if she could ever top this achievement.

Maybe saving humanity and the galaxy would do just that...

Shepard finished a brief chat with their mess sergeant then headed towards the med bay. Another reunion awaited the commander within, that piqued Miranda's interest. She unmuted the volume and watched the reunion unfolded on the monitor.

“Look who's here,” said Dr. Chakwas as she stood from her chair and greeted Shepard. “I was worried you'd never come to see me voluntarily.”

“I always come to see you, Doc.” That was a tone Miranda had never heard from Shepard. The warmth and the hint of mischief was not lost through transmission from the bugs planted in the med bay.

“Not without Kaidan dragging you.” The doctor put her hands on Shepard's shoulders and examined her at arm's length. “It's so good to see you again, Commander.”

“Good to see you too,” said Shepard. “First Joker, now you. They're going out of their way to remake the Normandy crew. Why did you leave the Alliance?”

“Technically, I haven't.” Chakwas gave her a warm smile. “I'll tell you all about it after your examination. Maybe even over a glass of wine.”

“Or two,” Shepard muttered. “Hell, I might need an entire bottle.”

“I've heard this ship has a bar, so why not?”

“I'm your patient and you're encouraging me to drink?” A smirk flashed crossed the commander's face.

“Everything in moderation.” The doctor pointed at the bed and Shepard obediently sat on it. “Miranda has sent me your file, Commander. I must say, what they've done, it's a modern medical miracle.”

_That's one way of putting it_. For a very brief moment, she considered closing that window to give Shepard some privacy, but surely doctor-patient confidentiality could be overrode when she was more than Shepard's doctor, Miranda reasoned. Shepard, first and for most, was _her_ project; whatever Chakwas found out from the examination, she would know sooner or later.

“So you know what they've done to me, how many implants I have inside?” asked the commander, her voice took a quiet turn.

“I do,” said the doctor while setting up her equipment.

“What am I, then?” asked Shepard after a brief hesitation. “Am I still considered a human?”

Miranda was taken aback by that question.

Chakwas paused and looked at Shepard. Miranda couldn't see the doctor's face, but Chakwas tone was both firm and comforting when she answered, “You are very much a human, Aerin. You might have more implants than the average soldier, but that doesn't make you anything more or less of a human. You are Commander Aerin Shepard, and your biometrics readings have confirmed it. And before you even ask, no, I don't believe you are a clone either. You still retain memories of the past events, don't you?”

“Every bit of it,” said Shepard. “Down to the last second before I passed out in space...”

“There you have it.” Chakwas nodded. “There is something we need to talk about later after the examination. Your shirt, please.”

Shepard stripped off her shirt and let Chakwas run her scan. Neither the doctor nor the commander spoke a word further.

Chakwas recorded her data before turning to the commander. “I'm not even going to ask you about your pain level on a scale. Just describe to me how bad it is.”

“Feels like I've been hit by a mako,” said the commander. “Last time I felt like this was after the fight with Saren in the Citadel.”

“That was when you had internal injury and concussion. If I recall, Kaidan had to carry you to the hospital.”

“Yeah. Scared the hell out of him. He stayed in the hospital with me until I got out...” A smile slowly spread across Shepard's face. The commander's usual stoic mask was all but gone as a much softer expression lingered. Was that the real Shepard? Miranda had to wonder. If so, the trigger point was Alenko... Everyone had their weaknesses, and Miranda had just found one of Shepard's.

“Here, this should help with the pain.” The doctor gave Shepard an injection. “No internal bleeding this time. Your organs are still healing. They've brought you back from dead, but your body needs time to recover naturally. I'm not going to confine you in the med bay, we both know you'll find a way to sneak out. But I need to keep an eye on you meanwhile. Report back here everyday, or I'll have Alenko--” Chakwas paused with a chuckle. “I do miss having Kaidan around. No one on this ship can keep you in line anymore. ”

“You and me both, Doc.”

The doctor put away her instruments before she turned to the commander. “Now about the thing we need to discuss.” Chakwas paused. “What you've been through is traumatic, to put it lightly. It's my job to take care of your well-being, in this case, not just physically. Do you have trouble sleeping?”

Shepard shook her head. “Can't say I have. I haven't slept since I woke up on the operating table. Why do you ask?”

“Post-traumatic stress disorder is not uncommon among soldiers, and most wouldn't know that they're suffering from it.”

_Oh no, you're not going to tell her that..._ Miranda frowned in alarm. They could not afford to have Shepard having a mental break down. Not now, not during this mission.

Chakwas continued, “Recurring nightmares, vivid flashbacks of the traumatic event, sudden panic attacks, those are a few signs to look out for.” The doctor's tone turned motherly. “You're not just my commander and my patient, Aerin. You're also a dear friend. I want you to be well. If anyone deserves a second chance in life, it's you.”

It was time to cut the reunion short. Miranda grabbed a datapad from her desk and hurried out of her office. Within seconds, she walked through the door into the med bay looking as casually as she could. “Dr. Chakwas, here are the rest of the files on the Lazarus Project.” She gave Shepard a glance and saw the commander glaring at her with more than a hint of annoyance. “I see the commander has voluntarily turned herself in.”

“Yes. Another miracle,” said Chawkas while filing the new data.

“How's our patient?” Miranda asked and noticed the slight frown on Shepard's face when she heard the phrase ' _our_ patient.'

“I ran some scans on her implants, they're holding up. I'll forward you the readings. But I'm strongly against sending the commander out onto the battlefield for a week or two. She's not recovered from her surgeries yet, as you know, she needs further observation.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Miranda then turned to Shepard. Still wearing nothing but her bra, the scars on Shepard's torso were in plain view – scars that Miranda was all too familiar with. After all, she had cut and sealed most of them herself not too long ago. “Your scars will heal soon enough, probably sooner than you expect. That redness in your eyes will subside as well, given time. Before you knew it, you would look just like before, without a scratch. You can start physical training with Jacob to rebuild your muscle tone anytime you want, but don't strain yourself in the first few sessions. You are not fully healed, Commander. Both inside and out.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Shepard said dryly as she put her shirt back on. The warmth in her tone was gone.

Miranda ignored the change in the commander's demeanor. “Any questions?”

“Yes. A lot of them. But not about my physical condition.”

“Come to my office. I'll answer all the questions you have.”

 

* * *

 

“I've heard we are heading to the Citadel instead of Omega,” said Miranda as she took a seat behind her desk.

The commander nodded. “I need to talk to the Council. Dr. Solus could wait for a day or two.”

Miranda knew about Anderson's email but said nothing. Instead, she waved at the seat across from her. “The Council won't mobilize for humanity,” she told Shepard. “They've had all these opportunities to act in the past two years but they've done nothing.”

“Not when there's proof that these abductions are not random or done by slavers.”

“Since when have they ever listened to you?” Miranda pointed out bluntly. “We might have a seat on the Council, but we're still second-class citizens to them.”

“I have to at least give it a try.”

It's a futile gesture, nothing but a waste of time, Miranda already knew without making a stop at the Citadel. But it would buy them a few days for Shepard to recover further before throwing herself in the midst of battles again. The last thing Miranda wanted was to have Shepard drop dead before the mission ended.

“Very well. I guess Dr. Solus isn't going anywhere in the next few days,” Miranda conceded. “While we are in Omega, we can recruit the mercenary called Archangel. A noted sniper, according to the dossier. The Illusive Man has also paid for a bounty hunter called Zaeed Massani. I'll arrange for him to meet us there as well. We're still tracking down the justicar and the drell assassin. I'll inform you once we've found out their latest whereabouts.”

Shepard merely nodded.

Miranda had to wonder if the commander had heard a word she had said. “Well, if you have questions, feel free to ask.”

Shepard studied her for a short moment. “What exactly are your duties, aside from keeping an eye on me?”

_You_ are _straight forward, Shepard_. “I'm the Illusive Man's agent. You're his most important asset. My job is to make sure you succeed. Aside from that... I send regular reports to the Illusive Man, updating our status.”

There was a knowing look flashed across Shepard's face.

“Cerberus isn't as evil as most people believe,” said Miranda earnestly. “If I can help allay any of your concerns, I'd be happy to do so.”

Shepard leaned back on her seat and began to fire away her questions. “Are you military or political? Or both?”

_Interesting first question..._ “Cerberus has several divisions: Political, military, scientific. But we are all working towards the same goal,” Miranda started. “The teams you encountered before your... accident were mostly part of our military division. But not all Cerberus operations use the same protocols. We try not to get bogged down in bureaucracy or formality.”

“I know what we're doing here, but what's Cerberus' long-term goal?”

“The advancement of the human race. Nothing more, nothing less.” Miranda shrugged. “The salarians have the Special Tasks Group. The asari have their legendary commandos for stealth and recon operations. Cerberus is humanity's answer to those organizations.”

“But those organizations are regulated by governments,” Shepard countered without missing a beat. “Who keeps Cerberus in check?”

“Nobody. We're privately funded, and our backers trust the Illusive Man to make the right decisions.”

Shepard frowned. “One man with all those powers? That's dangerous.”

Miranda nodded. “It could be. But he's very clear about our goals: Protect humanity and serve its advancement.”

Just when she thought that was more than enough to satisfy the commander's curiosity, Shepard fired another question, “What kind of resources does Cerberus have?”

“We're very well-funded,” Miranda answered patiently, “though I doubt anyone other than the Illusive Man knows exactly how well. But our resources aren't unlimited. Reviving you and rebuilding the Normandy was a significant investment. And a significant risk.” She gave the commander a cool look.

“What can you tell me about the Illusive Man?” Shepard was relentless; Miranda had started to regret this Q&A session.

“Not much that you don't already know. Even I don't have access to most of his background. And you've seen more of him than most ever do. It's rare for him to become directly involved in missions, but you're something special.”

“Four-billion-credit type of special,” Shepard mumbled under her breath.

“Four billion and counting.” Miranda allowed a tiny smirk to surface. “Whatever else people might say about him, I can assure you he's got humanity's best interests at heart. That includes you and me.”

“How can you be sure of that,” the commander pushed, “if you know so little about him?”

Miranda kept her cool even though her patience was running dangerously thin. “I didn't get to where I am without knowing how to gauge people's motives and ambitions. Even from brief encounters. He's no saint, and he'd be the first to admit it, but he is committed. Humanity couldn't have a better advocate.”

Despite Miranda's earnest effort, Shepard looked anything but convinced. It was time to switch tactic.

“Believe me, Commander, we're not your enemy. We have the same goal here, and our goal is to protect humanity. What is it that people say about the enemy of your enemy?” Miranda observed as the knot between the commander's eyebrows began to ease. Just one more push... “If we don't succeed, if we don't stop the Collectors and the Reapers, everything you've worked so hard to protect will be gone. Everything, and everyone you love...” She let that note hang in the air.

Shepard's gaze sharpened at that as her eyebrow arched up ever-so slightly. That was when Miranda knew Shepard was on board.

And now, the final blow. “I'll help you in every way I can,” said Miranda, “but it's up to you to save galaxy. We're all hoping you can do the impossible, Shepard. No pressure.”

The look of pure determination on Shepard's face was unmistakable despite her obvious fatigue. Miranda knew she had brought the one and only Commander Shepard back as the woman she used to be – a strong-willed woman with chronic hero syndrome.

Project Lazarus was a great success.

Now, Shepard had to prove her worth, and she'd better do the job she was revived to do: Win this bloody war before it was too late.

  
  


–

  
  



	7. Need You Now

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 6: Need You Now

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1

 

_There was nothing Shepard hated more than betrayal. Sold out by Udina and grounded in Citadel, Shepard now had no choice but to allow Saren to find the Conduit, a prelude to the Reaper's invasion._

_Shepard punched her locker in frustration._

_A sharp pain in her torso reminded her of another problem. Shutting her eyes in a poor attempt to control her pain, Shepard held onto her side then turned and leaned against the locker. Her legs gave in, she slid down onto the floor, biting back a grunt. The injuries she had sustained on Virmire wasn't getting any better despite Chakwas' effort. Shepard could only hope it wouldn't get any worse before the end of the mission. The mission she had already been suspended from, Shepard corrected herself bitterly._

_No, there had to be a way out, she just had to find it. She couldn't give up now, not when she knew about Saren's plan, not when the fate of the galaxy was hanging on a balance. She had too much to lose; everything and everyone she loved would be gone if Saren succeeded._

“ _Hey...” she heard a voice calling out._

_There was only one person who would dare to approach her with her current mood, and only one person she wouldn't mind seeing even when she was defeated. Especially when she was defeated. She needed him, not just for his biotics or his gun – she could get those from the rest of her team, but his brain and his shoulder._

_She didn't have to face this crisis alone. He was here with her. The pain began to ease a bit as she relaxed._

_His quiet footsteps stopped next to her. Shepard opened her eyes and looked up._

“ _Hey, are you all right?” Kaidan asked softly._

_She dropped her gaze and stared blankly at the floor in front of her. For a short while, Shepard didn't answer, nor did he press on. For that, she was grateful._

_She didn't have to lie, not in front of Kaidan. Still, admitting defeat was harder than she had thought. Shepard ran a hand through her hair with a soft sigh before she told him quietly, “No, I'm not.”_

_It felt strangely liberating to say that out loud._

_Kaidan sat down on the floor next to her. “I'm sure there's a way to appeal. We're under the Alliance authority after all, not the Council.”_

“ _I tried everything I could think of.” She shook her head. “Official channels are closed. They're quite clear about that.”_

“ _Closed? And we're supposed to accept that.” He frowned. “What about Admiral Hackett? You've helped him more than enough to earn a favor or two from him.”_

“ _I tried to send an urgent message to Fifth Fleet, it bounced right back. Couldn't contact him. Or Anderson. Or even my mother,” said Shepard. “Udina is going out of his way to isolate me.”_

“ _Does he even have the authority to do that?”_

“ _Doubt he cares. Where should I file the complaint to? To his office? The Council?”_

“ _So, that's it, huh?” Kaidan snorted with a scowl. “Where do you think the best view will be when the Reapers roll through? If we have to sit it out, might as well get a good seat.”_

“ _We are not sitting it out,” Shepard corrected him firmly. “The entire galaxy is at stake. I'll be damned if I don't do anything. I'll find a way out of this.”_

_The smile he gave her was a proud one, Shepard felt oddly pleased by that. Half of her anger had been wiped clean by that smile alone. The power this man had over her was terrifying. “I know you will, Aerin. You always have something up your sleeve. That's what I love about you.”_

_She shot him a glance. He loved her, she knew. He had told her that much after Virmire, after she had first confessed out of pure frustration. Shepard had to wonder if either of them would ever spew those three little words if they had never had that fight in the med bay. Most likely not, not until this mission was over._

“ _We're out of the game for now, but they can't keep me down forever,” Shepard swore. “First, I need to get a message to Hackett or Anderson...”_

_Kaidan went quiet for a second. He was thinking, Shepard knew. “They're monitoring the Normandy, but they can't monitor every single terminal in the Citadel, not instantly,” he pointed out. “We can use a public terminal to send a coded message. It'll be too late for them to intercept it if or when they find out.”_

And that's what I love about you. _Shepard continued his line of thought seamlessly, “Encrypting the message with one of the most common codes the Alliance Intel use should be enough to bypass the Council and Udina meanwhile, but allow Hackett and Anderson to decode it easily.”_

_They shared a look and a nod, that was all they needed to sign off on their latest plan._

_A heavy load had been lifted off her shoulders, thanks to her lieutenant._ _Shepard let out a heavy breath, feeling tension drained from her muscles. “I've told you before, but...”_ I love you. _“I'm really glad you're here.”_

_Kaidan smiled at that. “And I've told you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.”_

_Hiding a grin that was threatening to surface, Shepard gave him a teasing glance. “Even with the mess we're in?”_

“ _Even with the mess we're in,” he answered sincerely. “As long as you are here, this is where I want to be.”_

_That smile could no longer be contained. It was a rare moment of peace, and it was fleeting, she knew too well. Soon enough, they would have to head out to carry out their plan, setting all the wheels in motion once more. But now, he was here with her, and they were alone for once. She'd be damned if she didn't steal a moment, however brief it would be. The galaxy could wait for five minutes._

“ _Don't move...” she told him suddenly._

_Before he could say another word, she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. She heard his quiet chuckle but ignored the meaning behind that. His warmth was comforting. Her body began to relax against his. Over-due fatigue took over, her eyelids suddenly felt heavy._

“ _It feels... weird,” Shepard started in a mumble. “I've been running nonstop for years. Mission after mission. Never thought I would feel this tired. But I am... I'm tired, Kaidan...”_

_He shifted and sneaked his arm around her shoulders to hold her close. Shepard snuggled up comfortably. Despite the mess they were in, despite the threat they were facing, this felt right. This was where she was supposed to be – with him, always._

_If they could stay like this forever..._

“ _You haven't been sleeping well lately,” he said quietly._

“ _Mm...” She didn't bother to deny it. “Neither have you.”_

_He didn't answer._

“ _Did you really think I didn't noticed just because you never complained?” she continued. “Your headache is getting worse since Virmire.”_

“ _Aerin, I--”_

_Shepard tilted her head up to face him. “Don't lie to me, Kaidan. I can tell. Whenever one of those killer headaches comes back, it shows right here.” She tapped the spot between his eyebrows. “And it usually hurts the most right here.” Her fingers traced to his temple and massaged it gently._

_He relaxed at her touch. “You have enough to worry about...”_

“ _Well, like it or not, Mr. Alenko, you've become one of my top priorities.” Shepard studied him wistfully. “You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?”_

_Again, he didn't answer. Instead, his face inched closer to hers. As much as she wanted to let him kiss her, there was still another matter. Shepard placed a hand on his cheek to stop him. “We're grounded in Citadel among all places. We should use this opportunity to have you do a full check-up in one of the best hospitals here,” she suggested. “I trust Chakwas, but there's only so much she can do in a med bay.”_

“ _Only if you're doing a full physical as well,” Kaidan bargained. His hand gently rested on her torso. “It still hurts sometimes, and don't tell me it doesn't. Internal bleeding doesn't go away that easily without surgery.”_

_Giving her a taste of her own medicine, he was getting good at that. Shepard conceded, “Guess we're heading to the hospital then, after sending out the messages.”_

“ _Too bad. I was hoping we could finally get spend some time together, just the two of us,” he claimed half-jokingly as he got up from the floor, extending one hand to help her up._

Always the gentleman, _Shepard mused as she accepted the helping hand. “And? What are we going to do? With just the two of us...”_

“ _Well, I don't know--” He misjudged the force and pulled too hard. She slammed onto his body and lost her balance momentarily. He reached behind her waist to steady her. Everything happened within a heartbeat. It wasn't until a second later that she realized how close they were once again. His arms were around her, and her hands on his chest. Neither showed any intention of stepping back._

_Holding his gaze with hers, Shepard asked with a voice almost as low as a whisper, “...You don't know?”_

_His gaze traced down from her eyes to her lips and stayed there. What he wanted, she knew all too well. But she decided to have a little fun first._

“ _You sure?” she asked again, leaning closer with each word. With her palm planted on his chest, she could feel his heart pounding wildly inside._

_To his credit, Kaidan didn't move one muscle. But even his legendary self-control had its limit, and Shepard determined to crack it._

“ _Tell me...” Her nose almost touched his. “What do you want right now?”_

_He breathed out one single word, “You.”_

_She was pleasantly surprised by his honesty. “Good...” Holding back a grin, Shepard closed the remaining distance, but left the final step to him. The tip of her nose touched his as she whispered, “Come get it then.”_

  
  


* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

She was floating in space, helpless. Her ship, in front of her but far away from her, seemed no bigger than a toy model, dead in the water. Still, from this distance, Shepard could see the name of her ship written boldly in white against the black paint. Normandy. It was her home, her life, and within lived people she loved – her doctor, her pilot, her team, and the man she had promised to spend a lifetime with.

She had to go back.

Shepard fought to move but couldn't.

She had to go back. Kaidan was waiting for her in the Normandy.

Another vessel dropped out of FTL and started shooting at the Normandy. In less than two seconds, her ship exploded in a giant orange fireball. Shepard screamed, but there was no voice.

And then, just as quickly as it happened, it was over. Everything in front of her was gone – the fire, her ship, her friends. She was all alone, floating in space. There was nothing but stars, no sound but a faint hiss. The hiss soon became louder and louder. Shepard realized in terror what was happening. An unseen claw grabbed onto her throat, chocking the life out of her, while air was vacuumed out of her lungs. Shepard struggled, yet it was nothing but a futile effort. Her world became darker and darker by the second, and the hiss was now deafeningly loud.

The vessel that had shot the Normandy returned. Its weapons were now aiming straight at her, powering up in an orange glow.

Shepard screamed, this time she heard herself as she snapped open her eyes. The vessel was gone, but the vast empty darkness was still in front of her with the stars twinkling from light-years away. Her hand snapped up to reach for the back of her neck where the leak on her suit was, only to feel the warmth of her skin and the softness of the pillow.

Shepard sucked in a shaky breath of cool air as her fingers traced down to her collarbone. Her mind slowly registered the absence of her armor, the presence of the pillow behind her head, and the panting sound of her own breaths.

She was alive.

Tearing her gaze from the dark space outside the window on the ceiling, Shepard sat up and ran a hand through her hair. Chambers might think it's relaxing to see the stars before falling asleep, but that's because she had never died from being spaced. The sheet tangled around her legs, Shepard kicked it away and sat on the edge of the bed, taking a moment to collect herself.

“Hey,” she heard Kaidan calling her softly. “What's wrong?”

“Nightma--” she turned to answer, only to find the bed empty.

_Great, I'm going crazy..._ Shepard stared at the empty side of the bed for a long while. She missed her old life, her old team, her old ship. Above all, she missed him.

It had been a few hours since she had sent Kaidan that message, he should have gotten over the initial shock and replied by now. Shepard hurried to her terminal and checked her inbox. And there it was, a new message waiting for her, but a wave of disappointment washed over her when she saw the name of the sender: the Illusive Man.

Shepard slumped into the chair and stared blankly at the inbox.

_Things have changed... They have moved on..._ The Illusive Man's words once again rang inside her mind. Shepard shook her head and quieted the voice inside. Turning her attention to the picture on her desk, Shepard ran a finger along Kaidan's face. _Have you moved on? It's been two years, you should. And I should be happy for you, but..._ To think he was with someone else, that sudden surge of biting bitterness was hard to ignore. _I need you, Kaidan. Now, more than ever._

If only her thought could summon him to her side.

Shepard tore herself away from the picture and headed to the bar on the lower deck. In between the nightmare that was her new life and the one that had haunted her in her dream, she needed a drink.

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Councilor's Office

 

Being summoned to an early morning meeting was nothing new to Kaidan. But in between the drinks he had had last night at the bar and the 0700 hour meeting, he needed some coffee.

Anderson was looking at a datapad when Kaidan arrived at his office. Judging from the grim look on the councilor's face, whatever he was reading, it was bad. Very bad.

“Good morning, Councilor.”

The councilor looked up from the datapad and waved at the seat across from him. “Just in time, Commander. I have a new assignment for you.”

Kaidan waited patiently for the details. A lovely face within picture frame on Anderson's desk called for his attention. Kaidan had seen this picture of Shepard and Anderson many times before, still he always found himself staring at it whenever he was in the councilor's office. It had been more than two years since the accident, and Shepard had never left his mind.

“I'm sending you to the Terminus Systems,” Anderson told him. “To a colony named Horizon.”

“Terminus Systems?” That was unexpected. The Alliance was not welcomed there.

Anderson nodded. “As you've heard, human colonies have gone missing. We have a tip Horizon is next. I've already authorized the construction of the GARDIAN turrets on the surface in case it's the Reapers.”

Kaidan frowned at that term. “You think the Reapers are behind the abduction?”

“Intel all points to Cerberus. But something just doesn't add up.”

“Cerberus?” That was a name he had not heard for a while. “What do they want with the colonists?”

“That's why you're there. To find out what's really going one, and find any evidence at all if it's related to the Reapers. The Reaper threat has been swept under the rug for too long. I don't like it. You and I both know Sovereign's just a vanguard, there are more of them. We need to find all evidences we can get to convince the rest of the Council members that the Reapers exist. It's time for them to stop burying their heads in the sand.”

“Could Cerberus be working for the Reapers, like Saren did?”

“Anything is possible until we find out more.” Anderson paused to transfer a file to Kaidan. “Officially, you are there for the 'outreach program', to provide your technical expertise to help with the construction of the turrets. You won't have any backup, but from what I've heard, the colony is generally very peaceful. I don't foresee any problems, unless...”

The councilor went quiet momentarily.

“Sir?”

Anderson studied him for another moment before he spoke again, “There is something you should know.”

He didn't like the look on the councilor's face. To say Anderson looked troubled would be an understatement. And to disturb the most decorated soldier in the Alliance Navy to this extent, whatever news he was about to break had to be big. Kaidan wondered if he had the clearance to know.

“Yesterday, someone one tried to access Shepard's account.”

Kaidan jolted slightly at Shepard's name. “Hackers?”

Anderson shook his head. “Whoever it was, they only tried three times, and all three times with the correct password.”

Kaidan still remembered Shepard's password. It was not something that could be easily guess based on what they knew about the commander – not her birthday, not her birthplace. And it was long. Twenty-digit long. It was definitely not done by a random hacker. “Did they trace it back? Where did it come from?”

“A remote system, nowhere near any planet.”

“So a ship or a space station,” Kaidan reasoned. “But why would anyone try to get into Aerin's account? It's been closed for two years.”

The scowl on Anderson's face only got worse. “This might be why.” He reached for his terminal and brought up a vid, then turned his screen for Kaidan to see. “The Alliance Intel sent me this last night.”

It was a security footage of the interior of a living quarter. The room was empty, there was nothing out of the ordinary. And then, he saw a woman entering the screen with a rifle in her hands, a man and another woman followed. The first woman turned to her companions, revealing her face to the camera. Kaidan's heart stopped a beat.

Anderson paused the vid and zoomed in onto the woman's face. Even though the quality of the vid was far from the best, those features were unmistakable. His eyes couldn't be any wider, he couldn't move, nor could he even blink. All he could do was to stare at the face in the screen, the very same face that had been in his dreams for the past two years.

Shepard was alive.

His Aerin was alive.

“...Can't be...” he heard himself mumbled.

But there she was, right in front of his eyes. Just when he had spent the past two years fighting tooth and nail to crawl out of the hold he had sunk in, just when he thought he had finally let her go and moved on with his life, she came back. Wounds that had barely been healed were once again ripped open. 

His gaze settled on that familiar face within the picture frame on the desk.  _If you're alive, where have you been all this time? Why haven't you come back to me?_ Try as he might, that feeling of abandonment was hard to ignore. _I need you, Aerin, you should know that._

“Take a moment, Alenko. This is big. I know you two were close.”

“You knew about us?”

“Think you two were the only ones who have ever broken that regs?” Anderson gave him a knowing glance. “Relax, son, I knew all along. You and Aerin were good together.” The councilor paused as if he suddenly remembered something. “Has she contacted you?”

Kaidan shook his head. “No.” _She should..._ He checked his messages on his omni-tool immediately in case Shepard had sent him an email while he was talking to Anderson, but there was none. Kaidan kept his disappointment in check. “No, not yet.”

“Strange. If she's our Shepard, she would have contacted you of all people.”

“...You mean, that's not Aerin?”

“We don't know. At this point, we have to consider all the possibilities. This might not be Shepard, but someone with facial reconstructive surgery to look just like her. Hell, or even a clone. Anything sounds more possible than coming back from dead.” Anderson paused. “Of course, there's an off chance that this is our Aerin, and somehow she's survived. But if it is, then it's not good...”

“What do you mean?”

Anderson's expression darkened. “The Alliance Intel found that footage at a colony called Freedom's Press. The entire population went missing. Shepard arrived at the ghost town, for what, I don't know. Those she's with...” Anderson paused before he continued, “Intel said they're Cerberus.”

Knowing Shepard might be alive had sent him to heaven, but hearing that she was with Cerberus had dropped him straight down to hell. “What?! No. That can't be true! Aerin would never join Cerberus! We fought them two years ago!”

“I know, Kaidan. I find it hard to believe too. Hell, it's even easier to believe that she's alive than she's with Cerberus.” Anderson shook his head. “She was-- is one of a kind, always has a good head on her shoulders. I hope that intel was wrong.”

“It has to be wrong, sir! We know her. Aerin would never betray the Alliance; she'd never betray us. She's been with the Alliance her whole life for god's sake!”

“I hope you're right. I'll find out if this is the real Shepard soon enough.”

“You have a plan, sir?” It didn't surprise Kaidan. Anderson always had some tricks up his sleeve; Shepard had learned that well from her mentor.

“Never mind that.” Anderson waved a dismissive hand. “I need you to head to Horizon asap and set up the turrets before it's too late. And if Cerberus was really behind all this, and Shepard's with them... Prepare yourself.”

Kaidan didn't like where this was heading. “If this is really Aerin, I can't shoot her even if she's with Cerberus.” He had to admit now before he jeopardized the mission. “Sorry, sir. I won't.”

“I don't want you to shoot her,” said Anderson. “I want you to talk some sense into her. If anyone can get through to Shepard, it's you.”

Another concern that came to his mind. “Does the Council know?”

Anderson nodded. “This is too big for me to cover. The Council thinks they might have another case of Saren.”

Rogue Spectre? As much as he wanted to defend Shepard, he remembered she had gone rogue before by stealing the Normandy. But that was for a good reason. Joining Cerberus? No, she wouldn't do that.

“They're not sending another Spectre after her, are they?” Kaidan had to know. The Council had sent Shepard after Saren, and if they thought Shepard had gone rogue...

“No. Not yet. Shepard's official status is still dead. The last thing they want is to announce Shepard's alive and gone rogue. That's why we have to get Aerin back on our side before she makes a wrong move. I may be on the Council, but I'm one against three. I can't protect her for too long.”

“Is there anything else I can do?”

“Focus on your mission, Alenko. Get ready to leave this evening. Your shuttle leaves at 1800 hour.”

Kaidan could only nodded. He didn't know which was worse: To have a fake Shepard running around ruining her name, or the real Shepard was back and now joined the Cerberus.

The latter, he decided. If Shepard was an imposter, he could just kill her and protect Aerin's name. But if she was the real Shepard, his Aerin... Kaidan didn't even know what to think.

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Presidium

 

This outdoor cafe had a beautiful view, and he should enjoy it while he could before he left for Horizon. But Kaidan's eyes had been glued to the screen on his omni-tool the moment he had sat down. New messages kept coming in throughout the morning since he had left Anderson's office, but none was from Shepard.

Why hadn't he heard from her? For a hundredth time, he had to wonder.

_That woman might not even be Aerin_ , Kaidan reminded himself as he absently reached for his drink – a cup of hot chocolate. What used to be Shepard's favorite had become his. The content was warm, rich, and sweet, very comforting, no wonder she liked it. Aerin would love their hot chocolate here.

“Is this seat taken?” An achingly familiar voice asked while his attention was still on his omni-tool.

Kaidan froze momentarily. _Aerin?_

He looked up, only to find the woman to be a friend of his whom he was meeting for lunch. The disappointment was too much to hide. He could have sworn he had heard Shepard's voice. _Must be going crazy..._

Lucky for him, his companion sat down without noticing his strange reaction. “Sorry I'm late. A girl came to our clinic when I was about to leave. She broke her ankle jumping off a flight of stairs pretending to be Commander Shepard.”

Every road seemed to lead to Shepard today. Kaidan forced a faint smile. “I've never seen the commander jumping off the stairs.”

“Oh, that's right, you've served with her. What was she like?”

Smart. Strong. Brave. Charming. Caring. Beautiful. The list went on. But in the end, Kaidan picked only one word to describe Shepard. “Perfect,” he said quietly. “She was perfect.”

_Tell me... What do you want right now?_ Shepard's voice whispered inside his head. Deep down, he knew the answer. It had always been the same all these years.

_You._

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Dock

 

Kaidan was checking for new messages when the elevator arrived. Still no email from Shepard, he turned off his omni-tool and swallowed the disappointment.

The elevator wasn't empty. A man and a woman were in the middle of their conversation, seemingly oblivious to Kaidan's presence.

“Okay, here's another one,” said the man. “Who's hotter? The commander or Miranda?”

That caught Kaidan's attention, not because of the topic, but someone was referred to as 'the commander.' While it could be anyone in any military in the galaxy, to him, those two words always reminded him of Shepard.

“You are such a pig, Kenneth,” said the woman.

“What? It's just a question,” the man protested. “I say Miranda. She has those... assets. Have you seen them?”

“Hard to miss them when they're bouncing in the breeze.” The woman snorted. “I like the commander better. She doesn't need to flaunt her 'assets' in a catsuit. Her eyes are pretty; they're even more blue in person.”

Not as pretty as _his_ commander's, Kaidan thought as the elevator stopped at his level. He exited without giving the conversation another thought.

“Aye, there's something about Shep—” the man's voice cut short by the closing door.

That stopped Kaidan dead in his tracks. He turned quickly but the elevator had already left.

_Did he just say Shepard? No... Can't be..._

His heart urged him to delay his flight and go search for Shepard. _Aimlessly_ , his head reminded him, _and based on nothing but half a name which might not even be 'Shepard._ '

Last time he had followed his head instead of his heart, he had left Shepard to die on the Normandy... Kaidan hesitated as memories surfaced. The fire, the smoke, the orange glow the flame had cast on her face, and her last words to him. _'I'll see you soon.'_

Soon had become never.

If only he had listened to his heart and stayed with Shepard, he might be able to save her.

Kaidan called for the elevator.

_You're on a mission, Alenko._ His hand paused before it touched the button. _The turrets have to be completed before another abduction takes place. Besides, if that woman was Aerin, she would have contacted you by now._

Fighting against the instinct that demanded him to find Shepard, Kaidan once again ignored his heart and followed his head, and continued his way to the docking bay. His new assignment awaited.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch27 “Grounded”, rewritten from Shepard's POV. I've to admit, I miss writing Shenko and those good old days. Thanks for reading!

  
  


  
  



	8. At All Costs

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 7: At All Costs

Year: 2185CE

Location: Citadel Presidium

 

“You don't have to follow me around,” Shepard told Miranda while they were in the elevator heading up to the Presidium. “If I wanted to leave, you wouldn't be able to stop me.”

“Oh, I'm not worried,” said Miranda with a casual shrug. “There's a tracking device planted inside your body.”

That was a lie, Miranda hid a smirk. But the scowl on Shepard's face suggested the commander was indeed considering the possibility, that's exactly what Miranda wanted her to think. While she was able to track Shepard, it wasn't from a chip planted inside her. The tracking device was hidden in plain sight: Shepard's omni-tool.

The elevator stopped. Both women stepped out. “Still know your way around, I supposed?” asked Miranda.

“Last I checked, I haven't lost my memories.”

“I've some other business to attend to. Enjoy your reunion with Councilor Anderson.”

Shepard nodded and be on her way.

Miranda gave Shepard an once-over from behind. The commander had made a stop and purchased a new set of outfit before her meeting with Anderson. As if wearing something without the golden hexagon would cut her ties with Cerberus, Miranda shook her head with a soft snort. Although, she had to admit, Shepard didn't look half-bad wearing a plain black shirt and pants. It probably had to do with her confident attitude. That and those legs.

It was about time for her meeting, Miranda headed to a shop nearby. While the shopkeeper was busy processing a refund, Miranda stepped up to the kiosk and started browsing.

Within a minute, a man came along to use the machine next to hers.

“What do we have here...” she mumbled underneath her breath, scanning between pages of random items – souvenirs, model ships, and even tropical fish.

“The man you wanted me to follow,” said the man in a low voice, “he's leaving Citadel tonight.”

_Alenko's leaving?_ Things couldn't be any better. “Where's he going?”

“Don't know,” said the man. “He's going to take an Alliance shuttle at 1800 hour.”

_Alliance business? Probably on a mission._ Miranda discreetly checked the time. Fifteen more minutes to go. Alenko should be on his way to the dock by now, and Shepard was heading to the councilor's office. There was no way those two could run into each other. “You sure?”

“Heard him telling his girlfriend that during lunch.”

_Girlfriend? This is getting even better..._ This shouldn't matter to her mission, but Miranda was curious. “Who's this woman?”

“Sounds like she's a doctor at some clinic.”

Going from a human legend to a boring doctor, that man's taste has changed. “Expect the rest of your payment in five minutes.” She turned and left the store.

A reunion between Shepard and Alenko would be disastrous – at best a nasty breakup that would temporarily distract Shepard from their mission, at worst a heartfelt reconciliation that would push Shepard away from Cerberus. Either way, it could jeopardize everything they had worked so hard for, Miranda wouldn't allow that to happen. Thankfully she had the foresight to make a preemptive strike by intercepting Shepard's email to Alenko yesterday. No reunion, no turbulence.

And now with Alenko permanently out of the picture, Shepard would have no more distraction, and no more reason to go back to the Alliance. Miranda could not have planned this better herself.

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Councilor's Office

 

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Anderson gave Shepard a firm handshake. “It's been a while, Shepard.”

“Glad we don't need a secret handshake to confirm it's really me.”

“Smart ass.” The councilor shot her a sideways glance. “The C-Sec biometrics scanner has already confirmed it's you. They had informed me even before Captain Bailey issued you a new ID.”

“Always the careful one, sir.”

“Drop the formality, Shepard.” Anderson waved a dismissive hand. “You didn't come back to life to get all formal on me. I've heard you have a new Normandy. Much bigger than the old one. You've to give me a tour.”

“For you, anytime.”

Anderson nodded. “I still remember that day you reported to the Normandy and I gave you a tour of the ship before we headed off for the shakedown run... When was it, almost three years now?”

Shepard frowned in confusion. “...You didn't show me around the ship. Kaidan did.”

Anderson looked her with a knowing smirk.

And suddenly Shepard realized it was no more than a test. “So we do need a secret handshake. You _are_ careful.”

“You don't get to my position without being cautious. A clone would look and sound the same, even with the same biometrics readings. But memories, that can't be faked.” Anderson pulled her into a firm hug. “It's good to know it's really you, Aerin.”

“The one and only.” Shepard gladly returned the embrace, grinning. “The pain in your ass.”

Anderson stepped back with a scowl. “Pain in my ass is right. What the hell are you doing with Cerberus? Have you lost your mind?”

The grin on her face disappeared in a flash. “What have you heard?”

“That you are alive and with Cerberus. What the hell is going on, Shepard?”

“You want my side of the story?”

“Why else would I want to talk to you first before anyone gets to you?” The councilor waved at a chair. “Seat your ass down and give me a full report.”

Anderson was still protecting her, for that, she was grateful. Shepard took a second to collect her thoughts. “I died that day, Anderson. I remember suffocating in space, struggling with a tear in my suit, feeling the burn on my skin...” The memories were vivid, her nightmare even more so. Shepard swallowed hard before she could continue, “Next thing I knew, I was on an operating table. I don't know how, I don't know what they've done to me, but I was alive. Someone woke me up prematurely because there was an attack in the facility where I was... being rebuilt. I didn't know it was a Cerberus lab, that two years has come and gone. Hell, I didn't even know I actually died at first. All I knew was that I had to escape with nothing but a shirt on and a pistol.”

“Who's behind the attack?” The councilor frowned.

“Don't know yet. Someone wanted to destroy the facility before I could recover. They wanted me dead. The person in charge of rebuilding me had the last shuttle off that station. If I didn't go with her, I'd die there fighting off the mechs. I was arranged to meet with the Illusive Man. He told me he revived me to fight the Reapers, then told me about the missing colonies and asked me to investigate it. He said if I didn't find anything, I could leave.”

“And you haven't left. What did you find?”

Shepard scowled. “The Collectors are behind the abductions.”

“The Collectors?” Anderson paused to think. “The ones from the Omega-4 relay?”

She nodded to confirmed. “They've been abducting human colonists. Using some sort of swarm device to immobilize their victims then come in to pick them all up. I saw them in security footage.”

“Vids could be planned by Cerberus to manipulate you.”

“There was also a witness – a quarian on his pilgrimage. The swarm didn't get to him probably because he wasn't human. Tali'Zorah was there too. She's already there when I arrived, to rescue that quarian. I'm sure you can find a way to confirm my story with her.”

Anderson went quiet. The frown on his face was harsh.

“I know what I saw, Anderson. If the Collectors are targeting human colonies, I have to stop them. The Alliance and the Council need to know about this.”

“I'll see what I can do.”

“I'm going after the Collectors. The Illusive Man said they might be working for the Reapers. And if they really are, I need an army.”

“You don't need to stay with Cerberus, Shepard. Come back to the Alliance. I'll have them reinstate you, and we'll take it from there.”

“There's no time for reports or talks. People are missing, Anderson. Who knows what they're doing to the victims?”

“You know better than anyone how the Alliance works. It's not just me heading the operations and giving out orders. I may be a councilor, but there are hoops even I have to jump to get things done.”

Shepard let out a sigh of frustration.

“We'll get through this, Aerin. I'll talk to Hackett tonight.” He studied her face closely.

“...I know, they glow.” Shepard touched the scars on her face. “Not sure if I want to know what exactly they've done to me.”

“You're still alive, that's what's important,” said the councilor. “I'm glad you are back. I'm sure your mother would be too. Have you contacted her?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. I've been under constant surveillance, even on board my ship there's an AI monitoring me all the time. This is the only time I'm without my 'handlers' – AI or human.” Shepard leaned back on the chair with a quiet sigh. “How's my mother?”

“She has turned down an offer to be an admiral in order to be a captain of her ship, saying it's her way to honor your memories.”

“Sounds like something she would do.” Shepard smiled fondly. “Could you contact her for me? Tell her that... well, I'm not dead. If I called her first, she would think it's some kind of a sick joke.”

Anderson nodded. “Of course.”

Shepard debated for a second. She could no longer hold back the burning question in her mind. “Also... Where is Staff Lieutenant Alenko?”

The look Anderson gave her was a guarded one, Shepard recognized it that much, although she wasn't sure what to make of it. “Staff Commander Alenko is on a classified mission,” Anderson told her. Even his tone was an official one. “I'm sorry, Shepard, I can't tell you anything more until you've completely cut your ties with Cerberus.”

“...I understand.” It was hard to mask her disappointment, but Shepard managed with a faint smirk. “Promoted twice in two years, huh? Good for him.” As nonchalantly as she could, Shepard then asked, “Could you contact him for me as well? I tried, but...”

“He knows you're alive.”

“He does?” Then why hadn't she heard from him? Unless... _Things have changed. They have moved on_. Shepard felt as if someone had delivered a punch onto her stomach. She swallowed that bitter disappointment then asked, “...How is he?”

“Well enough. Been through a rough patch, but he's bounced back.”

Rough patch because of her, because of her death. “I'm glad he's doing well,” Shepard mumbled quietly, almost to herself. “He deserves it...”

“I'll arrange a meeting tomorrow with the rest of the Council to reinstate your Spectre status.”

Shepard nodded, reining in all her feelings. “Thanks, Anderson.”

“Come on, I'll buy you dinner and I'll give you an update while we eat. If you're still the same Shepard, you'll love this place.”

Shepard put up a smirk for her mentor. “Steak and beer?”

“Sushi and sake,” said Anderson. “Have to watch my cholesterol.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel

 

Another night, another nightmare. As tempted as she was to head to the bar for a shot of whiskey or two, Shepard exited the Normandy instead and headed for an early morning jog. She had a meeting with the Council in a few hours; she needed a clear head, not a tipsy one.

She didn't know how much time had passed, or how far she had run. Her heart was pumping hard, her lungs began to burn. Still, she pushed herself to go a step further, then another step, and another, fully determined to regain her stamina back as soon as possible. Time wasn't on her side; the Collectors wouldn't wait for her fully recover to attack again.

The pain killer Chakwas had given her the night before had started to wear off. But adrenaline that was pumping through her veins did the job, numbing any discomfort. Her legs seemed to have lives of their own, dashing through the quiet streets of the Citadel. Shepard had no plan to stop anytime soon, until she was it. A tiny cafe tugged between the shops – a very familiar place even though she had only been here once.

Shepard slowed to a halt in front of the cafe, panting from her morning exercise. Of all the places in the Citadel, she had unconsciously traced her steps back to here – the place where it had all started one particular night two years ago. The Citadel had been rebuilt, but the cafe still remained the same.

Her discipline demanded her to continue with her jog, but Shepard quieted that voice and stepped into the shop. A cup of hot chocolate would be nice. But in the end, she ordered a cup of coffee instead. That's what Kaidan had that night.

Sitting down at the same table where they had spent those few hours talking just about everything, Shepard took a careful sip of her coffee, wondering which corner of the galaxy Kaidan was at right now.

The slightly bitter taste reminded her of the kisses she had stolen from him during their shore leave, those few mornings when they had managed not to be distracted by each other long enough to get out of their room for breakfast.

Memories were all too fresh. It was as if they had spent those weeks together no more than a few days ago. _Two years, not a few days_ , Shepard reminded herself while taking another sip. _And he out-ranks me now._ A proud smile surface at that thought.

The smile soon disappeared when she remembered the pain she had caused him in the past two years, the damage she had done because of her untimely death. What if she had survived but he had died instead? Shepard drew a sharp cool breath. That thought was too painful to contemplate on, let alone live through it in reality. She couldn't even begin to guess what Kaidan had gone through.

_I'm sorry, Kaidan._ She stared blankly at the seat across from her, the same spot he had been two years ago that night. _I'm really sorry..._

  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Councilor's Office

 

The meeting with the Council was held at Anderson's office. Perhaps it was highly confidential, or perhaps none of the other three council members wanted to be seen with her. Shepard didn't care either way. It suited her just fine; she didn't feel like going all the way up to that Council Tower anyway. She did idly wonder if they had replanted those cherry trees that had been destroyed two years go, or if they had rebuilt the fountain in the middle. Kaidan used to like that fountain.

“We've heard a lot of rumors surrounding your unexpected return,” said the salarian councilor, Valern. His robe was as colorful as ever. “Some of them are... unsettling.”

“We called this meeting so you could explain your actions, Shepard,” said Tevos, the asari representative.

_Explain my actions? I died. There you go._ Shepard held back her tongue for now.

Tevos continued, “We owe you that much. After all, you saved our lives in the battle against Saren and his Geth.”

“Saren wasn't the one commanding the Geth,” Shepard reminded her. “It was the Reaper, Sovereign.”

“Ah, yes, 'Reapers.'” Sparatus, the turian council member air-quoted that word. “The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim.”

“What?!” Shepard scowled. She couldn't believe what she had just heard.

“Shepard,” Anderson called for her calmly. “No one else encountered the hologram on Ilos that told you the truth about the Reapers. Only you and your crew ever spoke with Sovereign.”

“Sir--”

“I believe you,” Anderson assured her. “But without evidence from another source, the others think Saren was behind the Geth attacks.”

_This is ridiculous!_ “Go back to Ilos and talk to Vigil,” Shepard told the rest of the council members, pointing out the obvious. “Or just look at what's left of Sovereign – it's obvious the technology is more advanced than ours!”

“The hologram on Ilos is no longer functional,” said Valern. “And we've found nothing to suggest that Sovereign was not a Geth creation.”

“But have you found anything that suggest it was?” Shepard countered immediately. “No, because it's not a Geth creation!”

“The Geth are capable of remarkable technological achievements,” Tevos pointed out. “This is probably why Saren recruited them.”

_What the hell?_ Shepard almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't having another vivid nightmare. “Did any of you talked to Saren during that time? No, but I did! Saren was recruited by Sovereign! He was indoctrinated!”

“This Reaper theory proves just how fragile your mental state is, Shepard,” said Sparatus. “You have been manipulated – by Cerberus, and before them, by Saren.”

“Think about it! Saren was an organic,” Shepard argued, “the Geth would never accept him as their leader. They only followed him because he was Sovereign's agent!”

“Saren was a compelling and charismatic individual,” said Tevos. “He convinced the Geth the Reapers were real... just as he convinced you.”

“It was part of his plan to attack the Citadel,” said Sparatus. “The Reapers are just a myth. One you insist on perpetuating.”

Shepard swore her head was about to explode due to their collective ignorance. “The Reapers are not a myth. You were almost killed by one of them!”

“We believe that you believe it,” said Tevos. “But that doesn't make it true.”

“I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel,” Shepard reminded them. “I sacrificed human lives to save this Council. And you still don't believe a word I say?!”

“We are in a difficult position, Shepard,” said Tevos. “You are working for Cerberus – an avowed enemy of the Council. This is treason, a capital offense.”

_So off with my head now?_

Anderson stepped in front of Shepard protectively. “That's too far, Councilors! Shepard is a hero! I'm on this Council, too, and I won't let this whitewash continue.”

“If they want my head, let them try to take it!” Shepard sneered.

The councilors were taken aback.

“Shepard.” Anderson shook his head subtly.

“Maybe there is a compromise,” said Tevos carefully. “Not a public acknowledgment, given your ties, but something to show peripheral support.”

Surprisingly, Sparatus nodded in agreement. “Shepard, if you keep a low profile and restrict your operations to the Terminus Systems, the Council is willing to offer you reinstatement as a Spectre.”

_And now you want to play nice?_ Shepard arched an eyebrow at them. “Will I need to start filing reports?”

“That won't be necessary,” Valern replied, taking Shepard's sarcasm seriously. “This is a show of good faith on our part.”

“We cannot become involved in an investigation regarding the missing colonies in the Terminus Systems,” said Tevos. “But Spectre reinstatement shows our support of you personally.”

_Support which you showed by throwing treason at me just a moment ago._ Shepard shot a glance over at her mentor, who gave her a nod. For a moment, she wanted to toss this deal back at the asari's face out of spite. But that would put Anderson in a difficult position, making his life even harder than it already was. In the end, Shepard nodded, for her mentor's sake. “I accept your offer.”

“Good luck with your investigation, Shepard,” said Tevos with obvious relief. “We hope for a quick resolution... and a quick end to your relationship with Cerberus.”

“Well, that went better than I expected,” said Anderson after the other three councilors left his office.

“No blood shed...” Shepard snorted. “Should have let them die on the Destiny Ascension.”

Anderson gave her a disapproval look not unlike one a father would give to his mischievous kid. “You realize the Council's offer is just symbolic. They won't actually do anything.”

“Have they ever done anything to help us?”

Anderson didn't bother to defend his colleagues. “It's all politics, Shepard.”

“I don't know how you deal with this everyday.”

“You put me in this position.”

“I still trust you more than I'll ever trust Udina. That son of a bitch backstabbed me.”

The door to the office opened. Speak of the devil... “Anderson!” Udina walked in, howling. “We need to talk about---” It was then he noticed another person in the office. “Shepard! What are you doing here?”

“I didn't come all the way to the Citadel just to piss you off, Udina, if that's what you're wondering.” Her mood was foul enough, she couldn't seem to keep her mouth shut. “I've got a long list of people I didn't want to see, and your name is right at the top.”

“The feeling is mutual, believe me,” said the ambassador with a huff, turning his nose up at her. “Your return in a bureaucratic nightmare for us!”

“So? Do your job,” Shepard told him with a shrug. “They certainly didn't pay you to sit around and look pretty.”

“I invited Shepard here to speak with the Council,” Anderson intervened before another war could start. “We just finished our meeting.”

“You what?!” Udina almost choked. “Councilor, do the words political shit-storm mean anything to you?”

“The councilor has just saved the day,” said Shepard. “You should thank him, Udina.”

“What are you talking about?” Udina glared at her skeptically.

“The Council reinstated my Spectre status. I'm on my way to save humanity without them lifting a finger. They're just happy I'm staying out in the Terminus Systems.”

The ambassador considered for a second. “Yes... I could see how that arrangement works best for both sides.” He then turned to Anderson. “But you really shouldn't have taken a step like this without consulting with me first, Councilor.”

“I don't answer to you, Udina,” Anderson snapped. “Why don't you go to your office and think about that for a while?”

Shepard didn't bother to hold back a proud smirk.

“Of course, Councilor,” said Udina with an obvious fake pleasant voice. “Good day to both of you.” He turned and stormed out of the office.

“Nice one, Anderson.”

“Sorry about that,” said Anderson. “Udina's never gotten over the fact that I got the Council position instead of him. Sometimes I need to put him in his place.”

“What do you keep him around for? There must be other better candidates for ambassador.”

“He's got his uses. And if you want something done on the Citadel, he knows who can make it happen. Plus, he's always happy to attend to those formal diplomatic functions I can't be bothered with.”

“Why not? You look good in a suit,” Shepard teased.

“I'd rather run ten laps in heavy armor than making small talks in a suit.”

“Want to come with me and save the galaxy together?”

Anderson laughed. “Sure, if I'm twenty years younger.” He let out a sigh. “Serving the Council isn't how I planned to spend my twilight years. Sometimes it feels like I'm just beating my head against a wall. Knowing the truth about Sovereign is brutal. It's nightmare stuff. Can't blame others for not wanting to believe it. But I know how important it is, so I keep trying. Fight the good fight, right?”

“Yeah...” Shepard breathed. “Always fighting the good fight. That's what we're trained to do.”

“I'm too old to go racing across the galaxy, Aerin. Much as I complain, I've got an important job to do here. The front line – that's got to be yours.” Anderson shot her a fatherly look. “Besides, someone's got to be here to watch your back.”

That warmed her heart more than he would ever know. “And keep those idiots off my back so I could do my job.”

Anderson waved a hand. “Don't worry about the Council. I'll find some way to keep them off your back. Shouldn't be too hard, as long as you keep in the Terminus Systems.”

“Thanks, Anderson. I mean it.”

“Don't thank me too soon. I talked to Hackett last night. They've already spread too thin, they won't be able to help.”

Shepard shouldn't be surprised, yet she was sorely disappointed. “So even if I went back to the Alliance...”

“They won't be able to mobilize to chase after the Collector. Especially when there's no solid evidence beside that security footage.”

“Damn it, what more do they want? Colonists are missing by the thousands!”

“We've suffered a great loss during the battle of the Citadel, most of the fleets are still rebuilding.”

“The colonies are sitting ducks.”

“I've done what I can. There's a project taking place as we speak, to install a defense system on a human colony.”

“But you're only arming one colony, what about the rest of them?”

“Exactly. We need to get the root of the problem.”

“The Collectors.”

“And the Reapers if they are behind it.” Anderson paused. “Although I can't completely dismiss Cerberus involvement in this matter.”

“I'll stay with the Cerberus to find out more.”

Anderson gave her a look but didn't respond. It was the same look he had when he had sent her to chase after Saren. Underneath that hard exterior, he was worried about her.

“I have direct access to the Illusive Man,” said Shepard. “I'll dig around and see if they're behind the abductions.”

“You know you're playing with fire, Shepard.”

“They need me to fight the Collectors, I'll be safe for now,” she assured him. “I can't go back to the Alliance... Not yet, not when the Collectors are still out there preying on our colonies. I have a much better chance to end this threat asap using Cerberus resources than to jump through hoops with the Alliance. You know that's true.”

Anderson sighed. “I don't know about sending you to the dark side...”

“You're not sending me on a mission, Anderson. I volunteer. Besides, even if I wanted to walk away, you think the Illusive Man would let his four-billion credit project go just like that?”

“Four billion, huh?” Even the stoic councilor raised an eyebrow at that number.

“They're not going to revive me just to kill me, not when I still have use to them,” Shepard stated bluntly. There was no need to candy-coat the fact. Her life came with a hefty price, and she would have to pay for it.

“I wish there's another way.” Anderson sighed heavily. “Working with Cerberus... you know how others will see you.”

“If that's the price to pay to save human lives, so be it.”

“There is always a cost to peace and freedom, most people just don't see it. We know, because we've paid for them.”

“That's our job. Protecting humanity and the galaxy at all costs.”

“Make sure you are not taking the 'at all costs' part too literally. There are some lines once you've crossed them, there's no turning back.”

“I know who I am. I'm still me – the pain in your ass.”

Anderson shook his head with a smile. “I'll find out as much as I can about the Collectors. If you've come across any data--”

“I'll forward it to you. I don't trust Cerberus.”

“Good to hear that. Keep your guard up, Aerin. The Illusive Man is a manipulative son of a bitch. I know he's using you somehow.”

“And I'm using them. Their ship, their crew, their resources.” Shepard reached out and patted her former CO on his shoulder. “Don't worry about me or you'll turn gray.”

“Too late. I'm already turning gray.”

 

* * *

  
  


Location: Normandy SR-2

 

“Commander,” Kelly greeted cheerfully when Shepard returned to the Normandy. “There's a package for you, delivered to our ship when you were out.”

“Package?” Who knew she was here? “From whom?”

“Didn't say,” said Kelly. “I've run the standard scans. It's not a bomb or any hazardous materials. I've put it in your cabin.”

“Thanks, Kelly.” Shepard headed up to her cabin and saw the package waiting for her on her desk.

She opened it and froze at the sight of a black jacket with the white and red N7 insignia on the chest. Shepard held the hoodie up with a grin, it was as if meeting an old friend – well, a new version of an old friend.

“Who sent this?” Shepard mumbled under her breath as she picked up a note inside.

_Welcome back, Aerin._  
We will meet again soon.  
Until then, stay safe.  
– Yours, Liara.

“How did she know?” Shepard flipped the note over but couldn't find any contact information, only a return address on the box. Nos Astra, Illium. “Liara's on Illium?”

Shepard put on the hoodie and zipped it up. A tiny part of her old life had returned to her, bringing a ghost of smile to her face. She had never felt as isolated as she was right now. She couldn't return to the Alliance – the home she had known all her life. The Citadel Council had all but turned their backs on her. But she wasn't alone, Shepard reminded herself. She still had her friends.

She was revived to win a war and she'd better do her job. Or else... There was no 'or else' in this case. She had to win, even if it meant to work with Cerberus.

For humanity, for the sake of the galaxy, how far would she willing to go? Shepard had the answer. As long as the Collectors were still out there, as long as the Reaper threat still existed, she would never stop, no matter what. Protect humanity, protect the galaxy, those were the vows she had taken, and Shepard meant to keep those vows at all costs.

 

* * *

 

Location: Horizon

 

“You must be the representative from the Alliance.” A woman greeted him shortly after he stepped out of the shuttle.

“Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko.”

“Welcome to Horizon. I'm Lilith. I'll be assisting you on this project. Let me show you to your quarters first.” The woman led him to the town. “Don't mind the people here, Commander. They're friendly, usually, but they don't trust the Alliance.”

Kaidan knew that much, although he did appreciate her honesty. The colony seemed quiet enough, the air was crisp and clean, but Kaidan doubted he would have time to enjoy the scenery. If another abduction took place before the turrets were ready, there's no way he could protect the whole colony by himself. Not even Shepard could pull that off.

_Well, she might be able to_ , Kaidan corrected himself with an inward smile. _She did protect Elysium by herself._

All his thoughts seemed to go back to Shepard ever since he had left Anderson's office. Kaidan didn't mind, nor did he even bother to resist it. He missed her, that was a fact. And deep down, there was another fact he could no longer ignore: He still loved her, after all these years.

 

* * *

 

That night, an encrypted message from Anderson shattered Kaidan's world.

_'Shepard's identity has been confirmed. Cerberus has revived her and she is now working with them. She has evidence the abductions are done by the Collectors, who might be working for the Reapers, and is now on a mission to stop them. Still need to reconfirm that claim. Meanwhile, focus on your mission. If the Collectors are behind this, it's worse than I thought. We need the turrets up asap. If you see Shepard, do not stop her.'_

Shepard was with Cerberus.

Kaidan blinked hard at the message.

His Aerin was with Cerberus...

The same Cerberus which they had fought against. The organization that had impaled live victims and turned them into husks, killed a team of marines with thresher maw and murdered a rear admiral, among many other things.

_Damn it, Aerin! What the hell are you doing?_

Betrayal and anger boiled up from within, threatening to eat him up alive. Faint blue glow began to pulse from his fingers up to his wrists. Kaidan took a few slow breaths to regain control. Something didn't feel right, his instinct told him after the initial shock had settled. He knew Shepard; the Aerin he loved would never betray him, never betray what they had fought so hard to protect. There had to be a reason why she did what she did.

Besides, Anderson seemed to back her actions by changing their initial plan of bringing her back to the Alliance. Whatever Shepard was up to, Anderson had signed off on.

_What the hell is going on?_

Kaidan had heard about the Collectors once or twice. Mythical aliens no one had ever seen. That almost sounded too familiar. If Shepard was going after them...

_Oh god..._

His concern for Shepard's safety overshadowed all the burning questions he had, but there was nothing he could do to help to her. Kaidan had never felt this helpless before.

_Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, Aerin, please be careful._   
  


* * *

 

A/N: Kaidan is going through his shock earlier than the in-game canon schedule because I'm changing something in the Horizon event. The change will fit his relationship with Shepard in this story. Thanks for reading!


	9. Archangel

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 8: Archangel

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Hanger Bay

 

_Anticipation of a battle was often worse than the battle itself. Sitting at the driver's seat of the mako, Shepard tried to keep herself busy by double-checking the control panel in front of her. It's all up to Joker now. Their lives, as well as the fate of the entire galaxy, were all in the pilot's hands._

“ _Twenty meters... It doesn't give us any margin of error,” said Garrus checking the gunnery control next to her. “You sure about this?”_

_Was she sure Joker could pull this off? No. Was she sure the galaxy would be doomed if she didn't take this risk? Yes._

“ _If Joker missed...” Garrus left out the consequence. Shepard knew it as well as he did._

We'll all die.

“ _This is our only chance,” said Shepard eventually. “If we don't give this a try...” She let Garrus fill in the blank._

“ _Let's hope Joker is as good as he claims.”_

“ _It doesn't matter whether we think he can do it or not. I only need him to believe he can pull this off.”_

_Garrus paused for a second to think before his eyes lit up. “And that's why you're our leader.”_

_Shepard let out a subtle long breath. “Sometimes I wish Anderson was here leading instead.”_

“ _You're one of the best soldiers I've ever seen. You'd even make a turian general proud, and – believe me – they are notoriously hard to please.”_

_Garrus was sweet, even if he didn't realize it. “Stealing a warship? Mutiny?” Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. “The Turian Hierarchy would have my head.”_

_He leaned closer as if sharing a secret. “Don't let the propaganda fool you, but the Hierarchy have played more than their share of dirty tricks to win wars.”_

Turians, asari, humans... Don't they all? _“History is written by the victors.”_

“ _Exactly,” said Garrus. “I'm sure when we win this, the Council will conveniently forget they had grounded us while claiming it's their idea to send us into Ilos.”_

_He's probably right, Shepard knew. But that didn't mean she liked it. She shook her head with a snort. “Don't forget Udina,” Sheaprd added. “He'll probably claim he's the one who handed us the key to the Normandy.”_

_They felt a familiar shake. The mako had been positioned right in front of the hanger bay exit, readied to be launched._

_Shepard scowled, her lips thinned. The anticipation was killing her before the battle even started._

“ _We'll get this done, Aerin,” Garrus told her, then added with a casual tone, “Don't forget we still have a score to settle after this – who's the better shot between us.”_

_He was trying to take the edge off for her, and for that, she appreciated it more than he would know. “Was there ever any doubt on that?” asked Shepard with a hint of smirk. “We don't even need to start to know what's going to win.”_

_Garrus grinned a little. “We both know it's me, but waving the white flag before the fight even starts? That's so not like you, Shepard.”_

_Shepard shot him a sideways glance. “Don't cry when I hand your ass to you, Vakarian.”_

“ _Turians don't cry. A few drops of tears are enough to drown us and make us flail our arms around like idiots.”_

_She chuckled under her breath, feeling the mounting tension drained a little. “I'm going to miss you once this is over,” said Shepard quietly after a faint sigh. They had become fast friends ever since they had met in the Citadel. In some ways, they were very similar. Two peas in a pod. Shepard was glad she had the chance to know him._

“ _We're not marching into our funerals, are we?” asked Garrus jokingly._

_That's the awkward turian she had come to love like a brother. Shepard shook her head with a faint smile._

“ _I'll still be around, Aerin.”_

But we won't be fighting side by side everyday... _Shepard made a non-committal sound._

“ _You know what I'll miss the most? Those talks in the elevator,” Garrus said as he did a final check on all the weapon systems. “It was a great time to share.”_

_Shepard's thought went back to that particular elevator ride where she had kissed Kaidan for the first time. “Tell me about it...”_

_The past few months had been quite a ride. This would all end one way or another soon._

Any last words? _Shepard asked herself._ _“Garrus?”_

“ _Yeah?”_

Thanks for watching my back with your sniper rifle. Thanks for being the best friend I could ever ask for.  _“...Thanks.”_

_Shepard heard a sudden shift in the sound of the Normandy engine core as it began its sharp descent._

This is it.

“ _Get ready,” said Shepard, her gaze focused on windshield in front of her._

Come on, Joker. You can do this.

_It's now or never._

 

* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

_'Professor Mordin Solus has been acquired. He will begin to work on the countermeasure as soon as the lab is set up to his specifications. In addition, Zaeed Massani has reported to the Normandy. He is cooperative, as expected. So far, Shepard has met our expectations. Beside email correspondence with Hannah Shepard, no further contact with the Alliance has been made--'_

A knock interrupted her report to the Illusive Man. Miranda quickly saved her work. “Come in.”

“Operative Lawson,” Mordin Solus greeted as he walked through the door.

“You can call me Miranda, Professor.” She powered off her terminal. “How can I help you?”

Mordin dropped a handful of mini devices onto her desk. “Believe these are yours.”

Miranda recognized them by just a quick glance. Those were some of the listening devices installed all around the Normandy. _How the hell..._

“Destroyed the cheaper ones. Returning the expensive ones. Thought you might want to reuse them elsewhere.” Mordin paused with a breath. “Hide them better next time.”

_Bloody STG._ She managed to keep a straight face without showing a hint of emotion. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” said the professor as if nothing had happened as he handed her a datapad. “Prepared a list of equipments and supplies needed for my lab. Some might be hard to find, but not hard for Cerberus.”

Miranda checked the list on the datapad. Nothing out of the ordinary, but then again, in the hands of one Mordin Solus, the most mundane supplies could turn deadly. “I'll have them deliver to the lab.”

There was another knock, this time it was the commander. Much to Miranda's dismay, Shepard had been wearing her hoodie ever since they had left the Citadel. Kelly had told her about the package from Nos Astra, and Miranda knew who had sent Shepard that shapeless jacket. There was only one person in the galaxy obsessive enough to track down Shepard, whether she was dead or alive.

“Dr. Solus,” Shepard greeted then turned to her XO. “Miranda, I talked to Zaeed. He's heard about Archangel. He's coming with us to find him. You ready?”

“Ready when you are, Commander,” said Miranda.

“Archangel. Vigilante,” said Mordin. “Impulsive. Reckless. Dangerous. Saving Omega by taking out criminals. Nice sentiment, but unrealistic. Can't put out fire by dripping water one drop at a time.”

“Someone's gotta try,” said Shepard.

“Made many enemies since he arrived. Need help, Shepard?”

“I need you to come up with the countermeasure asap,” said Shepard. “You're the only one who can do it. We can handle the rest.”

“Of course.” Mordin turned to leave, but stopped when he was right next to Shepard. The professor leaned in closer to examine the commander's face.

“What?” Shepard arched an eyebrow.

“Read your file. Extensive cybernetic enhancements. Rebuilt from a charred body dead for more than weeks.” The professor paused and nodded with approval. “Impressive work.”

Finally, someone appreciated her handiwork. Miranda smirked faintly. “Thank you, Dr. Solus.”

“Must study you, Shepard,” said Mordin, “when our business is over.”

Shepard's eyebrow raised further. “I don't think so.”

“Afraid of needles?” asked the professor. “Common phobia. Unnecessary concern. Been told my touch was most gentle.”

“I'll go suit up,” Shepard announced and exited all too quickly.

“Trypanophobia,” Mordin concluded to himself before turning back to Miranda. “Be in the lab if you need me.”

Miranda shook her head with a ghost of smile, then froze as she caught herself smiling. _Focus on your mission, Lawson. You're not here to make friends._

 

* * *

 

Location: Omega

  
  


This was the forth day.

Three days had come and gone, and Garrus was still holding his position, fighting off wave after wave of mercenaries those three gangs had hired to wear him down. Three days without getting much shut-eye, the adrenaline in his vein was his life saver, that and his well-honed muscle memories with his beloved sniper rifle. Garrus had to wonder just how long he could hold on before he made one simple but fatal mistake that would end his life.

Not much long.

This was it, he knew. He felt strangely peaceful knowing he was about to die. Garrus had made too many mistakes in his life, and had more than a handful of regrets. Among them, there was one in particular that hurt him the most. But perhaps he still had time to make peace with it before the next wave arrived, before he took his last breath...

And so he made a call.

“Dad?”

“Garrus? Where have you been?”

“I'm in Omega.”

“What are you doing in Omega?” There was that familiar voice of disapproval.

“Well... Listen, Dad, I er... I just wanted to apologize.”

“What?”

“We argued. A lot. And now I realized I was wrong to ignore what you've trying so hard to teach me. You told me I've to be strong enough to do the right thing even when it's difficult--”

“Are you in trouble, son?”

_He knows. Of course he knows._ “Yeah... I've been cleaning up the streets in Omega, taking down criminals. Obviously I pissed off the local gangs. One of my squad betrayed us, got everyone killed. I'm the only one left. And they're after me.”

Even that didn't seem to faze his old dad. “What's your situation?”

“They cornered me in our base. They've been throwing mercs at me for three days straight. I don't think I can last much longer.”

His father went quiet.

“Dad, I'm sorry—”

“Forget about that, son. Here's what I want you to do: Finish up your target practice then come back to home.”

Those words brought back memories more than a decade old. That firm and authoritative tone Garrus once hated when he was younger, was now giving him strength to go on.

“Come back to Palaven, Garrus, we can sort everything out. Your mom and Solana miss you.”

Another wave had arrived. Garrus resumed his position by the balcony.

A small group of mercenaries vaulted over the barrier, heading straight down to the bridge. Something didn't look right even from afar. Unlike the other mercenaries that before them, they were all too well-armored. Curious, Garrus checked out at the new group through his scope. Human. Two men, two women. He noticed the armor on the leader. Black with red and white stripes down one arm, and a familiar emblem on the chest. He used to know someone with that armor... Garrus took a closer look at the face of the leader.

His mandibles twitched in disbelief.

Was he that high on medi-gel?

Garrus zoomed in closer. There was no mistake. Black hair, sharp eyes scanning vigilantly around, that scowl, that stone-cold expression. It was her. It was Shepard.

“Spirits...” Garrus breathed. “I thought you were dead...”

“Garrus? What's going on?” His father's tone took an urgent turn.

“The odds just got a lot better. Dad, I've to go. I'll call you as soon as I can.”

Whatever feelings a normal person had to go through when their dead friend showed up in front of their face, Garrus had no time or extra energy to sort through all of them right now. Another group of mercenaries had come through, racing passed Shepard to claim their prize: His head. He had to defend his position, or else...

Then he heard gun shots. Not firing at him, but among the mercenaries themselves. Through his scope, he saw Shepard and her team gunning down the rest of the invaders as they ran across the bridge towards him.

Swooping in to save the day, that's the Shepard he knew.

A grin spread across his face underneath his helmet. “Just like old times...” he mumbled as he sniped down two men behind his old friend, watching her back like he used to.

While he might be referred to as Archangel on Omega, today, he had an angel of his own to bail him out of this sticky situation.

Garrus Vakarian couldn't be happier.

 

* * *

 

Shepard had to be fast. Her cover was blown the second she started shooting at the mercenaries rushing ahead of them. She had to find Archangel before anyone could get to him. For now, Archangel was still alive, she had seen him sniping on the balcony. Strangely enough, not a single shot was targeting at her or her team.

“Zaeed, take them all down! Jacob, cover me,” Shepard ordered after crossing the bridge.

“You don't have to tell me twice, Shepard,” said Zaeed as he sprayed bullets at the mercenaries around them.

Shepard jammed the butt of her rifle at one man's face before firing at the other one further in front of her. “Come on, Miranda!” Shepard rushed up the stairs.

Miranda's biotics lifted the two men who were about to breach Archangel's last line of defense on the second floor hallway. “Shepard!”

Shepard shot them all down without missing a beat. While she might not always agree with Miranda, on the battlefields, they had been working quite nicely together.

“Protect the stairs,” Shepard told Miranda. “I'll go in and check on Archangel.”

Shepard ran inside the room at the end of the hallway. She saw a turian in blue armor by the balcony shooting at someone with his sniper rifle. “Archangel?” she called out.

Without turning around, the turian raised one hand to stop her, then returned his attention back to the enemies below. A second later, he pulled his trigger twice. Shepard knew another turian who could snipe with such precision and speed.

“We're here to get you out,” Shepard tried again.

“I know, Aerin,” said Archangel. “That's what you do: Saving people's ass.”

_'Aerin'?_ That voice. It sounded too familiar. _Garrus? No, it can't be..._ “You know me?”

The sound of gunshot stopped. “All clear!” said Miranda from the hallway.

Stepping away from the balcony, Archangel leaned tiredly at the desk nearby without another word. He put down his sniper rifle before lifting off his helmet.

Shepard couldn't believe her eyes. “Garrus!”

Garrus breathed out a chuckle. “Guess I owe you another one.”

“You son of a bitch!” She rushed forth and threw her arms around him. “It's you!”

“Good to see you too.” Garrus laughed lightly.

“This is the part where you put your arms around me, Vakarian,” Shepard reminded him with a teasing smirk.

“...Right.” He did as he was told rather awkwardly. “Is this the standard protocol for human reunion?”

“Only for good friends.” Shepard stepped back, grinning.

“I'll try to remember it next time.” To say his voice was weak would be an understatement.

“You all right?” Shepard looked him over.

“Now that you're here, I'll live.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” asked Shepard. “Archangel?”

“It's a name the people in Omega gave me for helping them. For you, it's always just Garrus.” He waved a hand. “Not that I'm not glad to see you, Aerin, but why are you here?”

“To recruit Archangel for my mission.”

“Out saving the galaxy again? How did you survive anyway?”

Shepard hesitated for a second before she dropped the bomb. “Cerberus revived me.”

“Am I really that high on medi-gel or did you just say Cerberus?”

“I did.”

Miranda came in with Jacob and Zaeed. “We should get him out of here, Commander.”

A noise from outside the bridge caught their attention. Garrus picked up his sniper rifle and resumed position by the balcony. “They're coming... Mechs this time.” He then handed his gun to Shepard. “Two of them”

Shepard peeked through the scope and saw them. She pull the trigger once, then quickly aimed and pulled it again before returning the gun back to Garrus.

“And then there was none,” said Garrus.

“There will be more,” said Shepard. “I've hacked the heavy mech to attack everything on sight, including their own men. But they have a lot more cannon fodders.”

An explosion shook the building.

“The hell was that?” asked Zaeed.

“Damn it! The basement and garage. I sealed those tunnels.” said Garrus. “They must have breached the defense.”

“They're attacking from both sides,” said Miranda.

“I'll head down and seal the breach,” said Shepard. “Zaeed, Jacob, stay here with Garrus. Miranda, come with me.”

“Aerin, are you sure?” asked Garrus. “We don't know how many men they have down there.”

“I'll be fine,” said Shepard.

“You've got any explosives around?” asked Zaeed. “If we're quick enough, we can booby trap this place.”

Garrus grinned despite exhaustion. “I like the way you think. Let's do it.”

“Stay alive, Vakarian.” Shepard gave him a soft punch on his shoulder, just like the way she used to. “That's an order.”

 

* * *

 

This was both his luckiest day and his crappiest day.

Shepard had sealed the breach. The lower level of the building was heavy trapped. Waves after waves of enemies came at them, enemies he had made within his short stay at Omega – Eclipse, Blood Pack, and now Blue Suns. Those three gangs that used to be at each other's throat now united for one common goal: They all wanted him dead. And he would have, if it wasn't for Shepard. Together with Shepard and her team, Garrus had fought them off systematically.

Shepard seemed... different. She was faster than before. And she was with Cerberus, not the Alliance. But for now, Garrus didn't care whom Shepard was teaming up with. All he cared about was getting his ass out of here. He might have taken the first step towards reconciliation with his father, there were still a lot of patching up to do, and this time, he intended to follow through.

With Shepard on his side, he just might make it out alive to do so.

“Gunship incoming!” Zaeed warned.

“I thought you sabotaged it,” said Miranda.

“I did!” Shepard reloaded her rifle from her cover. “It's not fully repaired.”

It was aiming right at them. Garrus only had a second to shout out a warning, “Oh crap, watch out!”

Staying low behind their covers, they managed to avoid the rocket directly, but not the heat from the blast and the debris.

“It takes a few seconds to reload. Attack, now!” said Shepard, jumping out with a smaller gun in her hand. Instead of bullets, her gun fired out laser directly at the engine of the gunship.

As intrigued as he was by Shepard's new toy, Garrus focused his attention on the man inside the gunship. Through his scope, he was a familiar face. Tarak, the leader of Blue Suns. Garrus had almost killed that batarian at his own place. It's not too late, now he had a second chance to finish his work. If he could get a clear shot...

“Miranda, incinerate the other engine,” Shepard ordered.

“On it!”

Another explosion shook the building.

“Those bastards set off our traps,” said Zaeed.

“Zaeed, go downstairs and hold them off,” said Shepard, her finger never left the trigger.

It was then he finally had it – a clear shot. Through his scope, he could see Tarak was looking right at him as well. “Let's end this...”

Garrus remembered seeing the ugly grin on Tarak's face. He remembered pulling his trigger. He remembered a sudden force punched him hard on his face, knocking him back. And he remembered, through his now blurry vision, he saw Shepard's face hovering above his with a look he had never seen on her before: Pure panic. Her mouth moved, shouting out words he couldn't hear.

Now that Shepard was here, knowing she would watch his back as always, he could finally get some shut-eye. Garrus was tired. All he wanted was to sleep.

And so he did.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch 30 “Ilos” rewritten.

  
  



	10. Tale of an Angel

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 9: Tale of an Angel

Year: 2185CE

Location: Unknown

 

Blood. Her hands were coated with blood. Not red, but blue. The blood of a turian.

Lying on the ground in front of her was a good friend, a brother she never had.

_Garrus!_ Shepard wanted to yell, but couldn't find her voice.

“Who else has to die before you stop, Skipper?” a woman asked.

Shepard froze at that voice, at that title. _Skipper..._

Looking up from her trembling hands, Shepard saw her. Ashley Williams.

“When will you stop fighting?” asked Ashley. “Will his death bring a stop to your action?”

Shepard looked down. Her blood coated hands were now red. The body on the ground was not a turian, but a human – a man who had taken her under his wings.

_Anderson? No, this is not real..._

“What about hers?”

Anderson's form morphed into a feminine one. Salt and pepper hair, lines on a face that was once smooth.

_Mom. No..._

“Or his?”

Hannah Shepard shifted into a taller, masculine form. Blood dripped from lips she used to kiss.

_NO!_ Shepard looked away from Kaidan's lifeless body. She couldn't move, or could she speak.

“If you continue your path, they will all die,” said Ashley, her face was void of emotions. “And when they die, their blood will be on your hands. The one named Ashley Williams died because of your action. How many people have to die before you stop?”

_Who the hell are you?_

“Your struggle is futile. You cannot stop us.” Ashley's voice morphed into a deeper, monotonic one. It was the voice of not just one, but many. “The cycle will continue. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.”

The ground underneath her dissolved, Shepard dropped into dark space, screaming without voice. Surrounding her was nothing but darkness and distant twinkle stars.

And then, she heard a hissing noise from behind. That horrible noise, always started from a faint whisper, then became louder and louder.

Shepard woke with a start. Greeting her was the same view as the dream she had left behind. Just like the night before, and the night before that, Shepard couldn't tell if she was still dreaming or awake for a few seconds.

Sitting up on her bed, she pushed some tangled locks of hair off her face. Her heart was pounding, her breaths shallow. A glance at her hands confirmed that they were clean with no blood on them, be it red or blue. Shepard swallowed hard and scanned around the dimly lit room. She was inside her cabin, on board her own ship.

That was a dream. And this was real.

_Garrus..._

Stripping off her tank top and shorts, Shepard hurried to change and headed down to the med bay.

_No more death,_ Shepard determined. _Not on my watch._

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

“Keep this area dry for a few days,” said Dr. Chakwas to Garrus when Shepard entered the med bay.

“Guess I won't be going for a swim anytime soon.” Garrus stood from the bed. His right jaw was covered with bandage.

“Or ever,” Shepard interjected with a grin of relief. “Glad to see you're alive, Garrus.”

“I'm hard to kill,” said Garrus.

“How's he doing, Doc?” asked Shepard.

“The surgery was a success,” said Chakwas. “He'll feel a bit of pain and discomfort around his jaws for a while. Other than that, he's fine.”

“If you call this a bit of discomfort, I really hate to know what excruciating pain is by your standard, Dr. Chakwas.”

“Trust me, you don't want to know,” said Shepard.

The doctor merely shook her head at them. “You need to rest for a few days to recover from the surgery, Garrus. Stop by for your checkup tomorrow.”

“You heard the doctor, Vakarian. Report to the med bay daily. That's an order,” said Shepard with more than a hint of smirk. “Now, get dressed. I'll show you around the ship.”

Chakwas turned to her. “And you, Commander, you have been skipping our appointments.”

That wiped the smirk on Shepard's face. “I have been busy.”

“Yes, I've heard. Curing the plague, saving civilians, rescuing a certain vigilante. There's always something else to do.”

“My to-do list is pretty long.”

“When will you learn how to take care of yourself, Aerin?” The doctor gave her a motherly look. “Now that you're here voluntarily, let's waste no time. If I may, I'd like to examine you before you escape from my grasp.”

“...Is this gonna hurt?”

“Alas, to my great disappointment, it's nothing invasive,” Chakwas played along as she prepared her omni-tool. “I'm just going to run some diagnostics on your implants, and it'll take a few readings. Hold still.”

Shepard did as she was told. The scan was over within a minute.

Chakwas nodded at the data gathered. “Good. Your implants show little signs of rejection. How is the abdominal pain?” The doctor ran another scan on Shepard's torso.

“Doesn't bother me too much anymore.”

“Your organs are recovering quite rapidly, much faster than I've expected. As for your facial scaring, I've done further investigation, and the hold adage of 'mind over matter' holds true.”

Shepard scowled in confusion. “What does that have to do with the scars?”

“Negative attitude and aggressive acts create adverse reactions with your cybernetic implants, while peaceful thoughts and compassionate actions promote healing. If you maintain a positive outlook, I believe your facial scarring will heal on its own.”

“You serious?” Shepard raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“According to the studies, yes.”

“Positive outlook, huh?” said Shepard. “Easier said than done.”

“Otherwise, there is surgical equipment we could use to insulate your cybernetic implants and accelerate your healing.”

“Let's try the natural way,” said Shepard. “Here's my first compassionate action: Breaking a friend out of the med bay. Garrus, come on, I know exactly what you need right now.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Port Observation

 

“You have a bar on your ship.” Garrus stared at the counter and the shelves filled with assorted bottles.

“Yup. Welcome aboard the new Normandy.” Shepard headed behind the bar and picked up one particular bottle. “And we have this.”

“Turian brandy.” He shook his head in disbelief. “A ship full of human and you have this?”

“Now that we have my turian twin on board, I have to be prepared for his good days and his bad ones.” Shepard cracked open the bottle and poured him a drink.

“You know me too well.”

“Like the back of my hand.” Shepard poured herself a shot of whiskey before raising her glass. “To cheating death.”

“And crawling back from the Gates of Hell.”

Clinking their glasses, they downed their shots just like they had done many times in the past.

“Didn't have a chance to ask for a mirror,” said Garrus. “How bad is it?”

“Hell, Garrus, you're always ugly,” Shepard teased him. “Slap some face paint on there, and no one will even notice.”

He laughed then winced. “Ow... Don't make me laugh. Damn it! My face is barely holding together as it is.”

Shepard reached across the counter to tilt his head gently to the side then examined Dr. Chakwas' handiwork. _Who else has to die before you stop?_ That question from her dream lingered inside her head.

“Gonna leave a scar,” said Garrus.

Shepard gave him a smirk. “Join the club.”

“I don't mean to alarm you, Aerin, but your scars, they glow. You do notice that, right?”

Shepard touched her own cheek. “I see your eyesight is finally back,” she joked. “Cybernetic implants. Don't ask me why they glow. Miranda has never told me what she's done to me.”

“Doesn't look that bad,” Garrus commented as he studied her. “Makes you look even more intimidating than before.”

“And scare off all the men in my radius?” said Shepard with a chuckle as she filled their glasses. “Great. No one is gonna hit on me again.”

“You did a good job scaring men off before. A glowing scar or twp won't make a difference.”

“Look who's talking.” Shepard nodded pointedly at his bandage. “I'll have to work my ass off to find you a date from now on.”

Garrus reached for his drink and took a sip. “Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan.”

Shepard chuckled out loud. She didn't know how much she had missed Garrus until now. “It's really good have you back.”

“So, Dr. Chakwas filled me in. Unless I was high on painkiller, I believe she said Cerberus rebuilt you to fight the Reapers.”

Shepard nodded.

“And now you're on a mission to go after the Collectors.”

She nodded again. “That's why I wanted to recruit Archangel, even without knowing it was you.”

Garrus gave her a look. “Really, Shepard, can't you go after normal bad guys like the slavers or mercs?”

“Fought an army of batarian slavers when I was twenty-two, Vakarian. Been there, done that.”

“Frankly, I'm worried about you, Aerin. Cerberus? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?”

“Of course I do. But the Collectors are wiping out human colonies, Garrus. It's been going on for a while, and nobody cares enough to stop it. The Alliance is spread too thin, still rebuilding their fleets. The Council...” Shepard snorted in disgust. “They didn't bother to lift a finger. Tevos even threw treason at me.”

“You're kidding.”

“Wish I was. I invited them to come take my head, Anderson yelled at them, and they backed off. Too bad they didn't try to kill me. I've been wanting to punch Sparatus in the face.”

Garrus chuckled but winced. “Can't believe I missed that.”

“They reinstated my Spectre status, but wanted me to stay in the Terminus Systems.”

“Your status will be useless in the Terminus Systems.”

“I know. I'll let my guns do the talking.”

“That's my Shepard.” Garrus nodded proudly. “Hard to believe the Council is letting the attacks go unanswered, though. Damn politicians.”

“Do you have problem working with Cerberus?”

“I remember all the horrible things they did. And if you ever wanted to settle a score with them, I'd be right there with you. But, for now, we have a bigger problem. A common enemy. Forming a truce with Cerberus to take down the Collectors is what a smart leader would do. And you are one.”

“I'm glad you're here. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I can trust by my side.”

“You realize this plan has me walking into hell too?”

Shepard merely arched an eyebrow and glanced at him over her shot glass.

“Hm... Just like old times,” said Garrus. “We don't need to the Council or the Alliance. We just need our guns and ammo. Lots of them.”

“No red tapes, no reports to file.”

“Now you're speaking my language.”

“Think we can do it?”

“We took down Sovereign and Saren, we can take on the Collectors.”

It was all Shepard needed to hear. With Garrus back on her side, it felt as if she had one of her arms back. Now she only need to find her other arm – Kaidan.

“So what exactly were you doing on Omega?” Shepard asked, pouring another shot for each of the empty glasses. “I thought you wanted to be a Spectre.”

“I trained to become a Spectre after the Normandy was destroyed, but it didn't work out.” Garrus paused then shrugged. “I quit.”

“Your dad, huh?”

“No, not this time.” He shook his head. “I assume you know the Council covered up everything you've done for them.”

Shepard nodded, scowling.

“I thought they were better, that Spectres were supposed to be out there protecting the galaxy. But they're the same as C-Sec. Too much politicking at the Citadel no matter where I turned. Nobody was willing to take risks. I got fed up with all the bureaucratic crap. Figured I'd do more good on my own. So I left the Citadel and headed to a place where I could make a difference.”

“Omega.”

“A haven for criminals for thousands of years.” Garrus paused then added, “You know, the turian name for Omega means 'the world without law.'”

“And from the world without law, the Archangel was born.” Shepard gave him a teasing grin.

“You know what was the first thing I did when I arrived at Omega? I stopped a vorcha from mugging an elderly couple, human. That's when I knew I made the right decision. Omega was filled with criminals nobody could touch, and there was no red tape to slow me down. It was a perfect fit. People here needed someone to believe in. Someone to stand up to the local thugs. And it's not hard to find criminals. All I have to do is point my gun and shoot.”

“I heard tales about Archangel. You were busy cleaning house. I'm proud of you, Garrus.”

“Didn't do it on my own. I had my squad.”

“How did you manage to piss off all the merc organizations in the Terminus Systems?”

“I wasn't easy. I _really_ had to work at it.” He smirked. “I got three separate merc bands to work together to take me down. My manager at C-Sec would be impressed.”

“I don't know about your manager, but _I_ am impressed. What did you do?”

“It was simple. We'd hit their shipments, disrupt activities. Get under their skin. Make them angry.”

“And when they're angry, they make mistakes.”

“Exactly.” Garrus nodded. “They'd come charging right into our well-prepared kill-zone. Crossfire and snipers, clean and surgical. They never stood a chance.”

“Sounds like you have your operation running pretty smoothly. How did those mercenary gangs take down your team?”

Garrus drained his shot before he answered, “It was my own damn fault. One of my people betrayed me. A turian named Sidonis. He drew me away just before the mercs attacked my squad, then he disappeared. Everyone except me is dead because of him. And because I didn't see it coming.”

That guilt and anger was something Shepard definitely could relate. “What happened exactly?”

“Sidonis asked for my help on a job. When I got to the meeting point, nobody was there. By the time I got back to our hideout, the mercs had killed all but two of my squad. And they didn't last long.”

“So those covered bodies in your hideout...”

He nodded. “Those were my squad.”

“Are you sure it was a betrayal? Maybe they took Sidonis out first.”

“No. I've put out feelers with some old contacts. He booked transport off Omega just before the attack. He also cleared out his private accounts before he left. He sold me out and ran.”

Shepard scowled. “Do you know where Sidonis is now?”

“No. His trail vanishes after he leaves Omega. But I'll keep hunting. I lost my whole team, except for Sidonis. One day I'll find him... and correct that.”

“Let me know when you find him. We'll pay that son of a bitch a visit.”

“Bridge to Commander. Arriving at Korlus in thirty minutes.”

“Is that... Joker?” asked Garrus, unconsciously staring at the speaker overhead.

“The one and only.”

“Haven't seen that little guy for a while. Guess I should stop by the bridge.”

“You might also want to check out the main battery room. I've a feeling you'll like what you see in there.”

“Cannon?”

Shepard nodded. “And feel free to make any improvements as you see fit. My ship is your ship. I've to go. Time to recruit a krogan scientist.”

“Did you just use those two words together?”

“Sure did.”

“Want me to come with you?”

“Chakwas is going to have my head if I let you to join me when you're barely hanging onto your face.”

“But I should go with you to watch your back. Can't count on Cerberus to do that.”

“If you had a weapon that took you two years to build and cost you four billion credits, would you let anyone scratch it before you could even fire it?”

“Four billion credit weapon? ...You?”

Shepard made a non-committal sound and downed her last shot.

“Damn! I thought my sniper rifle was expensive.”

“They'll watch my back, for now. I'm a tool to them, Garrus. A very expensive one.”

 

 


	11. Engineered to be Perfect

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 10: Engineered to be Perfect

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

_'Dr. Okeer was killed in action – suffocation from toxic gas at the hands of his Blue Suns partner named Jedore. Jedore and her team has been eliminated. Against my suggestion, Okeer's latest project – a genetically engineered perfect male krogan – has been transported onto the Normandy. The krogan remains inside his gestation tank, awaiting for Shepard's decision._

_Mordin Solus has begun his research on the countermeasure. Garrus Vakarian's presence has improved Shepard's morale significantly, although no doubt his loyalty lies with Shepard, not Cerberus. Shepard's combat performance has been impressive so far. Her performance has matched, if not exceeded, her combat records before the accident. However, her judgments, in my opinion, are still questionable at best._

_Files attached contain data recovered from Okeer's lab before it was destroyed. Shepard has forwarded a copy of the data to Councilor Anderson.'_

_Genetically perfect. Created in a lab. That sounds familiar_ , Miranda thought with a silent sigh as she sent in her operation report. Perfect or not, krogans were always trouble. And this one might be more so, since he could be considered an infant despite his full grown size.

There was a soft knock before the door to her office was opened. Shepard walked in with her hair slightly damp from the shower she had no doubt just taken. The battles down on Korlus had been brutal, but it had given Miranda a chance to further observe the commander in action. Shepard was fast; her killings were never messy, always clean and almost surgical. She would methodically take down the enemies in a certain order. It was as if she treated the battlefield like a elaborate game – a game she had mastered, a game she had always won.

“Kelly said you wanted to see me,” said Shepard, rolling her right shoulder where it had been hit down on the planet side.

“Yes. We've located Thane Krios.”

“The assassin? Where is he?”

“He's heading to Illium for a job.”

“What about the others?”

“Subject Zero isn't going anywhere, of course. And we're still trying to locate the justicar.”

“Tell Joker to go to Illium, then.”

“Understood.”

Illium, more specifically Nos Astra. Shepard would meet Liara T'Soni, that much Miranda was certain. But would the asari tell the commander the truth about her resurrection? Miranda had to wonder. She would find out soon enough.

“You should let Dr. Chakwas check on your shoulder,” Miranda suggested as nonchalantly as she could.

“It's not dislocated. Pull some muscles and a nasty bruise. I'll live.” Shepard turned to leave but paused as if she remembered something. “Oh, just a heads up, I'm going to open the krogan tank.”

Miranda held back a frown. “I don't think you should open it, Shepard. Okeer is not here to control his project.”

“Not all projects need a babysitter.”

Miranda knew she was referring to their own situation, of course. “Not all projects cost four billion credits,” she countered.

“This one costs a lot more in terms of lives. All the flawed ones discarded and sold as slave army before the perfect one was made.” A scowl of disgust surfaced on the commander's pale face.

Miranda's thoughts wandered to her own project and the 'perfect' one standing in front of her. She doubted Shepard could stomach the details involved in her resurrection.

“The krogan might be dangerous,” said Miranda. “Unlike all the other recruits, we don't know anything about him. No psych profile, no history, we have nothing to refer to. I strongly suggest you reconsider.”

“We need all the help we can get, and we sure as hell could use a krogan on our team.”

“It's a big gamble, Shepard.”

“Then let's roll the dice.”

Lately, Miranda had found out that arguing with Shepard might be one of the most pointless exercises, especially once she had made up her mind.

“I'll go with you,” Miranda compromised.

“I can handle a krogan. I'll be fine.” Shepard exited before Miranda could say another word.

Miranda looked at the closed door with a frown then a sigh. Not all projects needed to be babysat, but not all projects were made to save the galaxy. Hers was.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Main Battery

 

“Garrus, you got a minute?” asked Shepard as soon as the door was opened.

“Yeah, sure,” said Garrus. “Just checking the weapons systems. You can never be too careful.”

“Come with me.”

Garrus followed her out of the room. The brightly lit hallway outside the main battery blinded him for a second. “What's going on?”

She turned to face him with a twinkle in her eyes. “Trust me, you don't want to miss this.”

Garrus wasn't never a big fan of surprises. “Let me guess... Joker starts dancing?”

“Even better. How often do you witness the 'birth' of a krogan? Never.”

“You're going to open the tank?”

Shepard nodded then told the mess sergeant as she walked past, “Prepare some food for a krogan, Sergeant.”

“What?” Gardner's eyes widened at the sudden request.

“Krogan,” Shepard replied without stopping.

The mess sergeant called out after her, “I don't even know what they eat.”

“Meat,” said Shepard over her shoulder. “Lots of meat.”

A good turian never questioned his superiors. But Garrus had never been a good turian. “You sure you want me to be there?” he asked the commander.

“Why not?”

“I wonder if he knows anything about the history between turians and krogans,”

“Okeer said he's educated. I think he knows.”

“And you still think that's a good idea? When that baby krogan opens his eyes, the one of the first things he sees is a turian's face. What could possibly go wrong?”

Shepard merely gave him a teasing glance. “Come on, Garrus. Don't tell me you're afraid of a baby.”

“That 'baby' weights more than the both of us combined,” he reminded her. “But someone has to watch your back. It's not the first time you drag me through hell.”

“Won't be the last time either. Better get used to it, Vakarian.”

“I can stomach up to two times a day. If you drag me through hell three times in one day, I'm out of here, Shepard.”

Shepard smirked and called for the elevator. “Duly noted.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

Miranda tracked the movements of the commander on one of her screens. At least Shepard had some sense in bringing Vakarian along. But still, that wasn't enough. And so, Miranda made a call. “Jacob, increase security on deck four.”

“Something wrong?” asked Jacob through the comm.

“Shepard is going to open the tank,” said Miranda. “Head down there but stay outside of the cargo area. I'll monitor the activities from here. Don't go inside until I give you the word.”

“Is that necessary?”

“I'm not going to lose our asset because of an impulsive judgment.”

“Come on, Miranda. Shepard's been doing fine so far. I trust her judgment.”

“I don't. Her judgment got her killed two years ago.”

“That was an accident.”

“Staying behind for an idiot who was too stubborn to escape was hardly an accident. It was a choice, and a poor one.”

“All right, all right, I'll go down there with a few men.”

“She's heading inside the cargo area with Vakarian. Stay out of sight. Don't let Shepard find out unless necessary.”

“Protecting her from the dark, huh? I knew you have a soft spot for Shepard.”

“I'm protecting our mission,” Miranda corrected him firmly. “And I don't have a 'soft spot' for anything or anyone.”

Jacob's faint chuckle was heard loud and clear over the comm. “Whatever you say.”

Miranda ignored that comment. “Remember, the krogan and even the turian are expendable. Shepard is not.”

“I know the drill. We're all expendable, except for the commander.”

Satisfied, Miranda leaned back on her chair and breathed, “Yes, we are.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Port Cargo Area

 

“EDI, status,” Shepard ordered.

“Subject is stable, Shepard,” said EDI. “Integration with onboard systems was seamless.”

“Stand by,” said Shepard. “I'm going to open the tank and let him out.”

“Cerberus protocol is very clear regarding untested alien technology,” said EDI.

“He's either a powerful addition to the crew or a time bomb,” said Shepard. “I'd rather deal with it now.”

“Very well, Shepard. The controls are online. The switch – and consequences – are yours.”

“Aren't they always?” Shepard mumbled then pressed the switch and stepped back.

Liquid drained from the tank as the front panel slid down. The krogan within fell forward and dropped down to his knees, coughing water out of his lungs as he took his first breath.

Shepard took one cautious step towards the choking krogan who raised his head to the sound of her footsteps. Pale blue eyes opened and locked onto the human in front of him, sizing her up before his coughs took his attention away from her.

Shepard remained still, allowing the krogan to recover before giving him a proper introduction.

And then it happened without any warning beside a raw battle cry. The krogan suddenly charged towards her. With no room to dodge sideways, Shepard took the hit and was slammed hard onto wall. Without her armor, Shepard felt every bit of the impact against the uneven surface.

“Aerin!” Garrus cried out.

The krogan pressed his forearm against her throat, pinning her firmly against the wall as he studied her up-close for a second. “Human. Female.”

Shepard heard the sound of Garrus' rifle but raised a hand on her side to stop him.

“Before you die, I need a name,” said the krogan.

With an expression as cold as ice, Shepard stared straight into his eyes and answered with a tone that matched her face, “Commander Aerin Shepard of the Normandy. I don't take threats lightly. I suggest you relax.”

“Not your name,” said the krogan, his arm relaxed a little. “Mine. I am trained. I know things, but the tank... Okeer couldn't implant connection. His words are hollow. Warlord, legacy, grunt... grunt. 'Grunt' was among the last. It has no meaning. It'll do.”

_Grunt?_ Shepard observed the krogan mumbling on.

“I am Grunt,” the krogan announced. “If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me.”

_What the hell?_ Shepard scowled. “Why do you want me to kill you?”

“Want?” asked Grunt as if he was confused by that word. “I do what I am meant to – fight and reveal the strongest. Nothing in the tank ever asked what I want. I feel nothing for Okeer's clan or his enemies. I will do what I am bred to do – fight and determine the strongest – but his imprint has failed. Without a reason that's mine, one fight is as good as any other. Might as well start with you.” He pressed his arm harder against her throat to make a point.

Holding back a wince, Shepard narrowed her eyes. “I saved you from the Blue Suns and I released you. Fight me, and I won't hesitate to kill you. But if you follow my command, you'll find your purpose.”

“Nothing in the tank imprints indicated humans could be so forceful. You command as though you've earned it.”

“That's because I have. My previous enemies threatened to destroy the galaxy. And I destroyed them,” Shepard told him, her voice firm as steel. “I have a good ship and a strong crew, a strong clan. You'd make it stronger.”

“You will give me strong enemies? A chance to find my own reasons for the skills in my blood?”

“I'm going after the Collectors from the Omega 4 Relay. They're threatening humanity and I am going to kill them all. Join me. I need the skills in your blood.”

“If you're weak and choose weak enemies, I'll have to kill you.”

“If you want me head, get in line. I have a lot of enemies. Those who tried to kill me are all dead.”

“Hmm...” Grunt narrowed his eyes and considered. “Hmph! That's... acceptable. I'll fight for you.”

Shepard jabbed the barrel of her pistol harder against the weak spot of his armor. “I'm glad you saw reason.”

“Hmm?” The krogan looked down then laughed as he took a step back. “Ha! Offer one hand, but arm the other.”

Lowering her gun, Shepard allowed a smirk to finally show.

“Wise, Shepard,” said Grunt, nodding with approval. “If I find a clan, if I find what I... I want, I will be honored to eventually pit them against you.”

“You sure you want to be called Grunt?” asked Shepard as she holstered her gun. “You wouldn't prefer 'Okeer?' Or 'Legacy?'”

“It's short. Matches the training in my blood. The other words are big things I don't feel. Maybe they fit your mouth better.”

Shepard shook her head. She was starting to like this kid despite being slammed against the wall. “Well then, welcome aboard the Normandy, Grunt.” She waved a hand at Garrus' direction. “This is Garrus Vakarian. My brother-in-arms, the best sniper I've ever met.”

Even though he was not fully grown, Grunt was already the same height as Garrus, if not taller. “Hmph. Turian. Male.”

Garrus cleared his throat. “Nice to... meet you.”

“Garrus fought by my side, and we saved the galaxy two years ago. He's one hell of a soldier. Three mercenary gangs worked together and still couldn't take him down. See that?” Shepard pointed at the bandage on Garrus' face. “Even a rocket to his face couldn't kill him.”

Grunt sized him up. “Maybe you are worthy as well.”

“He is,” said Shepard. “So is everyone else on my ship. They are the best in their fields. You'll fit right in, Grunt. Let's give you a tour of the ship.”

As she led the way out, Garrus stepped up and said to her, “Never thought my scar would be used to impress any male.”

Shepard gave him a sideways glance and a tiny smirk. “It works.”

Then, out of nowhere, Grunt announced, “I'm hungry.”

With her smile widened, Shepard shared a look with her turian twin. “First stop, mess hall.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Port Observation

 

“It's done,” Shepard announced casually as she waltzed in. So casually that if Miranda didn't know better, she would have thought the commander was talking about finishing an expense report instead of releasing a potentially dangerous krogan from his confinement.

Of course, Miranda already knew. She had seen everything through the security camera. She would have given Jacob the word to charge in had she not spotted the pistol. Shepard was careful, and apparently more shrewd than Miranda had given her credit for.

“The crew might get nervous now that there's a krogan on the ship,” Miranda commented from the comfortable couch. “I suggest we restrict the krogan's movements to the lower decks.”

“The krogan has a name. His name is Grunt, and he is one of the crew. He'll have as much freedom as everyone else,” said Shepard as she poured herself a drink from the bar. Whiskey, Miranda noticed from afar. “

“As big as he is, he has the wisdom – and the impulse – of a child.”

“So let him learn.” Shepard shrugged then took a drink. “We've all started somewhere. Give him a chance, Miranda. If he ever causes any trouble, come find me.”

Miranda snorted softly. “Before or after he tears out the bulkhead?”

To her surprise, Shepard merely chuckled lightly at her cutting comment. “I've served with a krogan before. There's nothing to be nervous about. Just don't stand in their way.”

Wrex the mercenary, Miranda recalled the name of Shepard's krogan friend.

“I like krogans,” said the commander after draining her shot. “They're not afraid to let you know if they hate you. Straightforward.”

“Hope he has his use,” said Miranda. “He's supposed to be the perfect krogan.”

“Engineered to be perfect.”

_Just like me..._ “There's a cost to perfection,” Miranda said quietly to herself. “I should know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Right. I haven't told you about myself, have I?”

Shepard shook her head.

“Well, I've spent the last two years learning everything there is to know about you. I guess it's only fair to tell you something about me.” She left the comfort of the couch and joined Shepard at the bar. “If you want to me to talk, at least pour me a drink.”

Without asking for her preference, Shepard scanned the shelves and chose a bottle of red wine – that specific bottle Miranda had ordered for herself. It was either a lucky guess, or Shepard could read people well. Hiding a smile, Miranda nodded at the commander's choice before Shepard opened the bottle.

“You should probably know that I've had extensive genetic modification,” Miranda started while accepting her glass of wine from the commander.

“What level of genetic modification are we talking about?”

“It's very thorough. Physically, I'm superior in may ways. I heal quickly and I'll likely live half again as long as the average human. My biotic abilities are also very advanced... for a human. Add to that some of the best training and education money can buy and, well, it's pretty impressive, really.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow and filled her own shot glass. “Sounds like you're designed to be perfect.”

“Maybe, I'm not. I'm still human, Shepard. I make mistakes like everyone else. And when I do, the consequences are severe.” She cast her gaze down at the wine glass held delicately between her fingers. “Everyone expects a lot from someone with my... abilities.”

“It's a great burden. So why did you have the modification?”

“Not my decision,” Miranda clarified after a sip, “but I make the most of it. It's one of the reasons the Illusive Man handpicked me. I'm very good at just about anything I choose to do.”

“Not your decision? Then whose?”

She should have known Shepard was thorough in her questioning. But, for once, Miranda didn't mind revealing part of her story. “My father. He created... me. He's a very influential man and extremely controlling. He didn't want a daughter – he wanted a dynasty. I ran away as soon as I was old and brave enough. I went to Cerberus because I knew they could protect me.”

“You seem capable of defending yourself. Why did you need Cerberus?”

“My father invested a great deal in his dynasty. It wasn't a matter of just leaving. I knew he would continue to pursue his... investments.”

There was a shift in Shepard's eyes, and Miranda knew what that was about. Shepard's situation with the Illusive Man was not too different from hers with her father. Both of them were valuable investments; both had been made by the order of a powerful man without their own consent, be it for selfish reasons or noble ones. The difference was, she had left her father and headed for Cerberus, but Shepard had nowhere else to go.

Shepard drained her shot before she asked, “I assume the Cerberus approves of your enhanced abilities?”

“Of course. Cerberus endorses anything that advances the course of humanity. Genetic alteration included. But unlike my father and his own selfish reasons, Cerberus and the Illusive Man believe in the greater good. They see the bigger picture. And I feel like I have a purpose here.” _You, too, could find a purpose here, Shepard._

A ghost of smile curled up on the commander's lips, although it looked oddly sad. “You talk about yourself just like a tool to be used. By your father, by Cerberus.”

Miranda shrugged. “Maybe. I'd like to know where I fit in the world. It helps me find meaning in how I was created.”

Shepard shook her head as she filled up Miranda's glass then poured herself one, switching from whiskey to vintage red wine. “You are who you are, Miranda. It doesn't matter how you were created.”

“That's easy for you to say. We've both been engineered for greatness, Shepard. The difference is, you were great before we rebuilt you... I am great because of it.”

“That's not what defines you. Your spirit and personality are what make you great. Not Project Lazarus.” The commander lifted the wine glass by its stem and gave it a twirl. “It's what makes anyone great.”

Perhaps it was the wine, Miranda couldn't help but smile. “That's kind of you. I'm not sure if I believe you, but thanks for saying it.” She raised her glass to the commander, who reached over the bar counter with her own.

The barrier between them started to chip away with a clink.

“This is good,” Shepard commented after a sip.

“Of course. I picked it myself.” Miranda pointed at the half-emptied bottle of whiskey on the counter. “That one, I ordered it for you.”

Shepard chuckled softly. “So you really know everything about me.” 

Miranda gave her a knowing look. “Everything.”

“The picture in my cabin was your idea.”

“Not mine,” said Miranda. “In fact, I was opposed to that particular idea. You don't need distraction.”

“Come on, Miranda, a picture is hardly a distraction.”

_Not the picture, but the real person certainly would be..._ Miranda considered for a second before she asked, “Do you miss him?”

That question seemed to take Shepard by surprise. For a moment, she didn't answer. When Shepard finally spoke, her voice took a tender, quiet turn – a tone Miranda had never expect to hear from the Commander Shepard. “All the time.”

Nor had Miranda expected that level of candor. Just when she had thought she had Shepard figured out, the commander continued to surprise her. “Then, that in of itself is a distraction.”

Shepard snapped back to her usual self in the blink of an eye. “I can still shoot even though I miss someone.”

“Anything that takes you away from the mission is a distraction.”

“Or, he could be the reason why I'm fighting so damn hard.”

_He is seeing someone else,_ Miranda wanted to say but didn't. She had to protect the mission, protect Shepard from distractions. 

“Don't you have anyone to fight for?” asked the commander.

_Oriana._ “Maybe.”

“Then you should know what I'm talking about. That person is never a distraction, but a reason why we're willing to risk our lives everyday.”

Miranda didn't answer; she didn't have to. Shepard was right, and they both already knew.

Miranda glanced at the woman sitting across from her, holding a glass of red wine just like she did. Dark hair, fair skin, blue eyes, full lips. From the physical descriptions, they might have something in common. Other than that, their similarities stopped, or so Miranda had convinced herself. But at that particular moment, for the very first time, Miranda began to entertain the idea that perhaps they were not all that different after all.

 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	12. Chasing Shadow

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 11: Chasing Shadow

Year: 2183CE

Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Med Bay Lab

 

_The knock on the door was soft. Liara had long recognized the sound of it. She knew who was about to walk into the lab before the door was even opened. It was Shepard. Her soft knock, her quiet footsteps, her kind heart, all contrary to the image of a battle-hardened soldier. This was the real Aerin Shepard – the woman who had saved her from the Prothean ruin, the woman she had fallen in love with for the first time in her life._

“ _Commander,” Liara greeted before turning around. “Are you here to check up on me?”_

_As expected, Shepard stood a few steps away from her. The commander was never too close, not physically. But Liara had been more intimated with her than anyone else could, for they had joined their minds once. That was her first joining – an experience she would never forget no matter how many centuries she would live._

“ _We are close to Noveria, are you ready?” asked the commander after a short pause._

_Liara knew the reason behind Shepard's uncharacteristic hesitation. “You mean if I am ready to face Benezia.”_

_Shepard nodded._

“ _I am with you, Aerin. I want an answer from Benezia. I want to know what makes her turn her back on everything she believed in. And perhaps, if I could reason with her....”_

“ _We could use her help with Saren.”_

_Liara was relieved to hear that. “It is what I am hoping as well. I don't want to fight her.”_

_The commander's gaze softened, as did her voice. “I understand. You don't have to if you're not comfortable.”_

_Always thoughtful, always considerate, that was part of the reasons why Liara had found herself drawn to Shepard. “No. Don't worry, Aerin. I will do what is right. I won't disappoint you.”_

“ _You never disappoint me, Liara.”_

“ _That is very kind of you.” Liara smiled at that encouragement. Shepard had made her feel welcome from the very first day. “I'm glad you let me join you in your mission. It's very different than digging in remote ruins, but I like it here on your ship.”_ Because you are here, _she wanted to say, but her words became something else when she continued, “Your crew is very devoted to your cause.”_

“ _Not just my cause, everyone has their reason to fight. If we don't stop Saren, there won't be anything left.”_

_Liara could write a paper almost effortlessly, but when it came to expressing her feelings, she was no more articulate than a child. she fumbled and searched for the perfect words – words that could properly express her feelings. “Of course. But they're also devoted to you.”_ As am I.

“ _It's the command structure of the Alliance military,” Shepard explained patiently. “Or pretty much any military. Garrus told me the turians are even more devoted to their CO. Even if the order was bad, they would still carry it out.”_

_Liara shook her head. As frustrated as she was with herself, she also found Shepard's misunderstanding quite adorable. “Perhaps I wasn't clear,” Liara tried again. “What I meant was, there's something about you that makes you very compelling.”_

“ _Me?” Shepard's eyebrows knitted slightly in confusion. “You mean my connection with the Protheans.”_

“ _I admit that was the initial reason why I've found you so fascinating. But it's more than that. I tried to tell you before, but as you can see, I'm not very good with dealing with people without making a fool of myself. What I really wanted to say was...” Liara took a subtle deep breath to gather all her courage. “I find you, as a person, very intriguing.”_

“ _Intriguing?”_

“ _Yes.” Liara was glad her point had finally come across. “Your experience in Elysium is incredible. You were so young, yet you already possessed the charm to rally the civilians to form a resistance force. And when the defense was breached, you had skills to fight back single-handedly long enough for reinforcements to arrive. For someone to survive through that, it requires tremendous strength and willpower. Now I understand why you also survived the beacon.”_

_She couldn't help but share her knowledge on her favorite topic beside the Protheans. While Shepard had never directly told Liara about her experience in Elysium, there was no shortage of information out there for Liara to devour. The commander had become a subject she had spent many hours scouring every corner of the extranet to research on. Liara had learned quite a bit about Shepard. And the more she learned about the commander, the more intrigued she was by the human legend._

_Shepard arched an eyebrow at her knowledge. “You've been researching me?”_

_Liara nodded with a proud smile._

_There was a slight shift in those expressive blue eyes. That lovely face suddenly looked guarded. “If_ _you wanted to know about me, you could have just asked.”_

Oh Goddess!  _“I... I'm sorry, Aerin,” Liara apologized as quickly as she could. “It's become a habit of mine. The subjects of my research usually can't answer my questions.”_

“ _Because either they've been dead for fifty thousand years or they're inanimate objects,” Shepard answered for her, then waved a dismissive hand and gave Liara a half-smile. “It's all right. Next time, just ask. Don't trust the extranet. If you dig deep enough, you'll find articles about me being the Alliance's secret prototype weapon, that I am half-human half-machine.”_

_Liara laughed a little. That was another reason why she liked Shepard. “I don't think a machine could be this lovely.”_

_Shepard blinked hard at that._

_Liara took a breath._ Come on, T'Soni, you can do this...  _“I'm not very good at this, am I? What I've been trying to say is...”_ I think I love you.  _“I found myself attracted to you, Aerin.”_

_The commander dropped her gaze but didn't answer._

_Liara might know the reason for the lack of response. Her own inarticulacy was not the only road block she had to overcome. There was another bigger one standing in between herself and the commander – a road block in a form of a kindhearted, hard-working, handsome young man. “Although I understand there is something between you and Lieutenant Alenko.”_

_Shepard looked at her, eyes widened. “How did you...?”_

_Liara tried hard to ignore that strange unpleasant feeling rising from her stomach. “The attraction between the two of you is obvious.”_

“ _Kaidan...” Shepard muttered very quietly. “He is...” For a short moment, Shepard didn't speak, lost in her own thoughts with a lovely smile curled up on those soft pink lips._

_That was all the confirmation Liara needed from Shepard. The commander was in love, but not with her. “Your smile says it all, Aerin.”_

“ _Kaidan and I... I don't know what we are, yet,” said the commander. Even though her smile was gone, there was still a rare tenderness lingered in her voice when she talked about the lieutenant._

_Liara studied her closely in somewhat confusion. If Shepard and Kaidan were not yet together, did she still have a chance?_

_Looking straight into Liara's eyes, Shepard continued, “But he's very special to me. I care about him. A lot.”_

_The last spark of hope was instantly extinguished. The disappointment almost crushed her heart. “I thought so...” Liara forced a smile. “Thank you for being honest with me.”_

“ _Liara, you are a good friend,” Shepard said gently._

“ _And I will always be your good friend, Aerin.”_ And I will always love you. _“You reached out to me as a friend, I thought there was something more but...”_

“ _I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you any wrong ideas.”_

“ _You did nothing wrong.” Liara shook her head, wanting to find some place to hide forever. “Let's... let's just forget we had this conversation.”_

“ _Of course.”_

“ _Kaidan is a lucky man.” It was all Liara could say. Shepard was the first person she had joined her mind with, the first person she loved. While perhaps there might be many more throughout her lifetime, Liara already knew Shepard was irreplaceable. Even though her feelings for the commander had to be buried from now on, like the Prothean artifacts, they were only buried but never gone._  
  


* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Nos Astra, Illium

 

Numbers, names, locations. Endless stream of data came through her desk everyday, waiting for her to process. Separating facts from fictions, discarding useless data while filing away useful ones, always looking for things hidden between the lines – things others would miss. But not her. Liara T'Soni wouldn't miss a thing. She had been combing through things with a fine-tooth comb ever since she was a child. Her curiosity, her inquisitive – and somewhat obsessive – nature had made her the most renowned expert in the field of Prothean study. And now, that same nature had helped her excelled in her job as an information broker.

When it's striped down to the core, her new job was not much different from her previous one. The only difference was, she used to study a group of dead people, now she was studying those who were still alive.

One of her many screens blinked, updating the latest information as it always did every few seconds. A quick glance at it was usually all the attention Liara could afford to give to the never-ending supply of data. But a name on the screen made her stop all her other work.

Normandy.

The Normandy was heading to the Tasale System, so said the report. And Liara knew exactly where it was heading. Right here, on Nos Astra.

Liara had secured a copy of all the dossiers that had been handed to Shepard. The assassin Shepard was looking for had arrived not long ago. Undoubtedly, the commander was on her way to Nos Astra to recruit the drell. Knowing that, Liara had already made sure she had eyes on him until Shepard arrived.

And Shepard would surely come to look for her.

Liara reached inside one of the hidden pockets on her dress and took out a necklace that had been with her for almost two years. To call it a necklace might be disrespectful. At the end of this long silver chain, two metal plates dangled freely. On one there was the emblem of the System Alliance. On the other was only a letter and a number: N7. At the back was a name, a date, and a number Liara had remembered by heart.

Shepard, Aerin  
2154-4-11  
5923-AC-2826

Two years ago, she had found Shepard's tags on her body and kept them with her ever since. Liara wondered if she was ready to tell Shepard the truth. Could Shepard ever forgive her for what she had done?

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Liara quickly pocketed the chain and composed herself before her assistant stepped in.

“Your meeting starts in five minutes,” her assistant reminded her dutifully.

“Yes. Thank you, Nyxeris.” Liara let out a tired sigh when she was alone once more.

Time to close another deal. She was getting good at this. All she had to do was to think: What would Matriarch Benezia do? It was easy; after all, it was in her blood.

Her mother would be proud.

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra Dock

 

“We're always told Illium is one of the safest places in the galaxy,” said Garrus to Shepard as they exited the Normandy. “Until you fell off the grid.”

“Fell off the grid?” asked Shepard.

“Sign the wrong contract, join up with the wrong company, or walk down the wrong alley, and it's as dangerous as anywhere else. Don't let this place fool you, Aerin. It's no safer here than on Omega.”

“Well, at least it's cleaner,” Shepard commented then saw an asari approached with two armed mechs.

“Hmm... Trouble?” asked Garrus.

“Don't know...” said Shepard. “We'll find out in a few seconds. Are you armed?”

“Do you have to ask?”

“Welcome to Nos Astra, Commander Shepard,” said the asari when the two group met halfway.

“You know who I am?”

“Yes. We've been instructed to waive all docking and administration fees for your visit.”

Shepard shared a look of confusion with her turian twin.

“My name is Careena,” said the asari. “If you need information about the area, it would be my pleasure to assist you.”

“That's a lot of firepower for a friendly welcome,” said Shepard. “Expecting trouble?”

“We're the gateway to the Terminus Systems, Commander. That element of risk requires greater security,” said Careena. “Liara T'Soni vouched for your conduct and paid all fees you would normally incur. She also asked that I direct you to speak with her at your convenience. She's near the trading floor.”

“What's Liara doing here?”

“Liara is one of Nos Astra most respected information brokers. Nos Astra is based upon trade. Information is valuable currency and Liara has done quite well,” said Careena. “Again, welcome to our city, Commander. Please enjoy your stay.”

“Information broker? Looks like I'm not the only one who has a career change,” said Garrus.

“No wonder she knew...”

Garrus gave her a questioning look.

Shepard tugged at her hoodie. “Liara sent me this. Come on, let's visit an old friend.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Liara's Office

 

Another man trying to wiggle his way out of his payment. Liara had no patience for this game. Especially not today, not when Shepard could be here any minute.

“Have you faced the asari commando unit before?” asked Liara in an eerily calm tone, repeating words her mother had once said. “Few humans have.”

Her client in the vid chat gasped. Liara could almost see the sweats forming on his forehead.

“I'll make it simple,” she continued, sounding more and more like Benezia with each word. “Either you pay me, or...” She allowed her biotics to flow for a second. Blue glow pulsed around her body to make a point. “I flay you alive. With my mind.”

The sounds of open door and footsteps disrupted her. Nyxeris knew better than to let anyone into her office when she was conducting business, unless it was...

Liara quickly turned off the vid chat and spun around. There she was, standing in front of her once again was the woman that had never left her mind.

“Aerin!” Liara called out and hurried to the smiling commander.

“It's been a while, Liara,” said Shepard.

Goddess, she missed that voice.

Cerberus – more specifically Miranda Lawson – had done an excellent job. Shepard looked as lovely as she had ever been. For a second, Liara could almost pretend the past two years had never taken place, that she was still on the original Normandy with her commander. But that illusion was easily broken when she noticed her assistant lingered at the door.

Liara tore her attention from the commander away for a split second. “Nyxeris, hold my calls.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The moment her assistant left, Liara threw her arms around Shepard. She wanted to cry in both joy and relief, but she wouldn't. The last time she had seen her, Shepard was nothing but a burned body. And now, she was here, alive and well. Everything she had gone through to save the commander, and everything that had happened since then, it was all worth it just to have Shepard back again.

Liara stepped back reluctantly, reminding herself that she was in her office, that she was most likely being watched. “I've heard you're alive, but to see you in front of me... It's almost like a dream.”

A warm smile played on Shepard's lips.

Liara then turned to her other old friend. She noticed the bandage on the side of his face. That had to come from the fight with the three mercenary groups on Omega. “It's good to see you again, Garrus.”

“Did you just threaten to flay people alive?” asked Garrus with a hint of teasing tone.

“Oh that?” Liara had almost forgotten about that call. “That was just a customer unhappy with the information he received. He'll pay. They always do.”

“I know I will if you threaten to flay me alive,” said Garrus.

“Thanks for paying for the fees,” said Shepard. “How did you know we were coming?”

“My sources said you were heading to Nos Astra.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You have sources now?”

“A few. Sources, contacts, even a little hired muscle. I've been working as an information broker.” Liara waved at the chairs across from her desk and sat down herself. “Ever since I helped you stop Saren, people have wanted to be my friend... or not be my enemy. I've set up a respectable business as an information broker. It's paid the bills since you... well, for the past two years.”

“I see many things have changed since I was dead.”

_More than you ever want to know._ “And now you're back, gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus.”

“That's not exactly public knowledge.”

“Neither is you being alive. Information is my business now.”

“If you know all that, you know I could use your help.”

“I can't, Aerin. I'm sorry.” Liara had thought it would be hard to say no to Shepard, but it wasn't. “I have commitments here. Things I need to take care of.”

“Are you in trouble?” asked Shepard after studying her for a second.

“No, no trouble,” said Liara, trying to explain as vaguely as she could without lying or revealing too much. As much as she wanted to scream 'I am chasing after the Shadow Broker!', she couldn't. Not here. Not now. “But it's been a long two years. I had things to do while you were gone. I have debts to repay.”

Shepard didn't seem to be satisfied with that answer, nor did Liara really expect her to. “What's going on, Liara?” Shepard scowled ever so slightly. “Can't you just talk to me?”

“Don't you think I want to, Aerin?” Liara shook her head almost in frustration, but she managed to keep her composure, as she always had. “This isn't because I don't trust you. This is Illium. Anything I say is probably being recorded.”

“Even in your own office?” asked Garrus.

Liara nodded. “Stop by my apartment, we'll talk some more later.” She noticed Garrus began to scan around, probably looking for bugs – bugs he wouldn't find, for Liara would have found them during her regular swipe for listening devices. But that didn't mean she wasn't being watched or recorded, Liara knew how Illium worked. “For now, if you need information on finding people, I'm happy to help.”

“How much will it cost me?” asked Shepard.

“You humans have a saying: An arm and a leg,” Garrus replied offhandedly as he continued with his search.

“For you, it's always free,” said Liara, knowing exactly whose name would come up first.

“Do you know where Kaidan is?”

“Kaidan is in Horizon.”

Shepard frowned in confusion. “Horizon?”

Liara nodded to confirm. “A human colony in the Terminus Systems. He's there on a mission ordered directly by Councilor Anderson.”

Shepard's brows tightened further for a second. “Alliance soldiers are not welcome the Terminus Systems. What the hell is he doing there?”

“He's the Alliance representative for an outreach program to improve relationships with the Terminus Systems. Officially, of course.”

Shepard shook her head. “The Alliance has never reached out to that part of the galaxy. That has to be just a cover.”

Garrus reached over to put a hand on Shepard's shoulder. “Kaidan will be fine. His biotics is the strongest I've seen in a human.”

_He has moved on, Aerin..._ Liara couldn't bring herself to break that news to Shepard.

“What about Wrex?” Shepard then asked.

“Wrex is on Tuchanka. He's a clan chief now, from what I've heard.”

“So he finally made it back home,” Shepard mumbled to herself.

“I almost feel sorry for the krogans in his clan,” said Garrus.

“I'm also looking for Thane Krios. He's supposed to be here on Illium.”

“The assassin. Yes, he arrived here a few days ago. My sources tell me he may be targeting a corporate executive, Nassana Danitius. He contacted a woman named Seryna. Seryna has an office in the cargo transport levels. Perhaps she can tell you where Krios is.”

“That was all just off the top of your head?” asked Shepard.

“I'm a very good information broker, Aerin.” _And I have been keeping an eye on him for you._ “The world of intrigue isn't that different from a dig site. Except that the dead bodies still smell.”

“I think I'm starting to like you even more,” said Garrus with a light chuckle.

“Let's go talk to Seryna,” Shepard told Garrus, then stood to leave. “Oh, and thanks for the jacket, Liara.”

Liara smiled. For a short moment, she allowed herself to be the old Liara. “I thought you might like it more than the outfits Cerberus has prepared for you.”

“You know me. Tailored suits? Not my style.” Shepard flashed that tiny smirk of hers, one Liara had always liked.

With that, Shepard once again disappeared from her sight, albeit only temporary this time.

Reaching for the chain in her pocket, Liara ran a finger on the name engraved on the tags. Perhaps it was time to return them to their owner.

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Dantius Tower

 

The last mercenary was down. Out of habit, Shepard reloaded her rifle. Most of her ammo had been buried into a long trail of bodies they had left behind. Both organic and synthetic. With her stock running low, Shepard was glad they had finally made it to the penthouse level. But she was even more glad to head inside the building. More than once, Shepard had thought she would be blown off the bridge by the gusty wind or thrown off by the shockwaves of countless explosions. All the implants in her body wouldn't save her from a fall from this height.

“Remind me never to walk across a windy bridge while dodging bullets,” Garrus told her as they headed down the hall. “Once in a life time is enough.”

“Admit it, Vakarian, you love the excitement.”

“I could live without a rocket firing at me again,” said Garrus with his sniper rifle resting casually on his shoulder. “This man we're looking for is pretty impressive. One perfect headshot in a room filled with terrified workers, and no collateral damage.”

“Jealous?” Shepard shot him a teasing glance.

“Professional admiration.”

Shepard nodded at the door ahead. “Let's hope we're not too late for the show.”

Shepard headed in and noticed Nassana only had three guards with her. Her own team had five, six including herself. The odds were heavily in her favor. But she didn't plan to start anything unless the guards were stupid enough to shoot. After all, this wasn't her show; she's only here to make sure Thane Krios survive.

“Shepard?” Nassana looked as though she had seen a ghost. “But... you're dead.”

“I got better.” Shepard sauntered in with her rifle held loosely in one hand.

“And now you're here to kill me.”

“You're really paranoid, aren't you?”

“Don't patronize me, Shepard.”

Shepard shook her head with a smirk. “Charming as ever.”

“I'm sure you find this all very ironic,” said Nassana, keeping the giant table as a barrier between Shepard and herself. “First you took care of my sister, and now you're here for me. Well, you've made it this far, now what?”

“You really think I'm here to kill you?”

“Do you have another reason to destroy my tower? Decimating my security?”

Shepard shrugged nonchalantly. “I'm just looking for someone, and your security stood in my way.”

“You expect me to believe that? What are you playing at, Shepard? Is it credits? Is that what you want? Just tell me the price, we can make this problem go away.”

There was a faint noise on the ceiling. Shepard had a feeling the man she was looking for was already here. “All the credits in the world won't make this problem go away, Nassana.”

Before she could reply, Nassana was distracted by her guard. “What?”

“I heard something.”

“Damn it. Check the other entrances!” Nassana ordered then turned back to Shepard. “You... stay put.”

The show was about to start, and Shepard wasn't going to miss it. A shadow dropped from the ceiling and landed soundlessly behind one of the mercenaries. Light from outside the window shone on half of his face when the shadow rose. From the corner of her eyes, Shepard recognized the shadow to be a drell.

_Krios._

Shepard held back a smirk and kept her gaze on Nassana, drawing the asari's attention all to herself, waiting silently for the actions to unfold. “I'm not going anywhere, Nassana.”

“When I'm finished dealing with this nuisance,” Nassana continued without noticing anything amiss, “you and I are going to--”

And then he started. Snapping the neck of the mercenary, punching the throat of another, disarming the last one before knocking her out, then grabbing the gun while it was still in the air, all done in a series of elegant and swift motions. Everyone behind her was down before Nassana could finish her threat. Then, it was her turn. The gun was jammed onto her stomach and fired.

“Who...?” Nassana managed to utter her last word.

The assassin cradled the back of the asari's head and gently laid her dying body down onto her desk. He then arranged her arms neatly onto her torso before he stepped back. With his hands folded, he lowered his head and closed his eyes as if to pray.

“Impressive,” Garrus commented quietly. “He certainly knows how to make an entrance.”

Shepard agreed and mumbled under her breath, “I think I'm in love...”

“What about Kaidan?” asked her turian twin.

“Relax. Just a figure of speech.”

Shepard looked over to Miranda, who still had her gun pointing at the assassin. Shepard nodded at it, signaling her to put it away. Reluctantly, she did. So did Zaeed and Jacob. Grunt, however, needed more than a look.

“Put that away, Grunt,” said Shepard in a low voice, not wanting to disrupt whatever ritual the assassin was performing.

“So he's the guy we're looking for?” asked Grunt, his voice boomed across the huge office.

Shepard nodded patiently. She had come to like the krogan more each day. As big as he was physically, more often than not, Grunt behaved like a child. Well, technically, he was still a kid.

“Heh. Good.” Grunt lowered his shotgun with a grin.

Seemingly oblivious to their presence, the assassin continued to stand in front of the corpse, almost in a trance.

“Thane Krios, I presume,” said Shepard as she stepped up to the table. “I'm Aerin Shepard. I was hoping to talk to you,”

“I apologize,” said Thane Krios. “But prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken.”

“Do you really think she deserves it?”

“Not for her. For me,” Thane clarified. “The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you, for instance.”

“Me?” Shepard arched an eyebrow.

“All this destruction... chaos. I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me.” Thane approached her. “Well... here I am.”

“So you knew I was coming.”

“I didn't. Not until you marched in the front door and started shooting.”

“This building's heavily guarded; there's no other way to the penthouse.”

“Nassana had become paranoid. You saw the strength of her guard force. She believed one of her sisters would kill her. You were a valuable distraction.”

“You used us?” Miranda frowned.

Thane looked her XO coolly. “I needed a diversion; she needed to speak with me.”

Shepard wasn't about to let an argument start. “Let's cut to the chase,” she told the assassin quickly before Miranda could snap back. “I need you for a mission.”

“Indeed?”

“Someone's been abducting entire human colonies. We're going to stop them. We already know the culprits – a race called the Collectors.”

“I've heard of them.” Thane stepped towards the window. Lights from outside illuminated his silhouette. “Attacking the Collectors would require passing through the Omega 4 Relay. No ship has ever returned from doing so.”

Shepard stepped up next to him, mildly surprised by his knowledge. “And they told me it was impossible to get to Ilos, too,” said Shepard, subtly hinting at who she was.

“A fair point. You've built a career on performing the impossible.”

“We'll find a way to get through the Omega 4 Relay. Let me worry about it. I need you for your skills.”

Thane turned and studied her for a few seconds. Shepard held his gaze, unwavering. He shifted his attention back to the view of Nos Astra before he spoke, “You'd like me to protect humans I've never met, from aliens no one knows anything about, by going to a place no one's ever returned from?”

“Now that you put it that way...” Shepard heard Garrus mumbled very quietly from behind.

Shepard almost laughed at how ridiculous the request actually sounded when it's said out loud. “Yes,” she replied, keeping a straight face. “How much would it take to hire you?”

Thane didn't answer. Instead, he moved to the desk and stood over the body of Nassana. “This was to be my last job,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “I'm dying.”

That wasn't on his dossier. Shepard shot a glance at her XO, wondering if she knew. Miranda shook her head to the silent question; she seemed as shock as Shepard was to the news. “I hadn't heard that. I'm sorry,” said Shepard sincerely. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Giving me this opportunity is enough.” Thane turned to her. “The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die. Many innocents died today. I wasn't fast enough, and they suffered. I must atone for that.”

“So you're willing to join me?”

He nodded. “Low survival odds don't concern me. The abduction of your colonists does.”

Perhaps it was too callous to ask so directly, but for the mission, Shepard had to know. “How long do you have to live?”

“If you're interested, we can discuss it on your ship. The problem isn't contagious, and it won't affect my work.” Thane extended a hand – a hand that had killed all four with such speed and elegance she had never seen. Shepard took it for a firm shake. “I will work for you, Shepard. No charge. My arm is yours.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch20 “Love and War”, rewritten from Liara's POV.

  
  



	13. The Things We Do For Love

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 12: The Things We Do For Love

Year: 2185CE

Location: Horizon

 

“How are the turrets coming along?” Anderson asked through vid chat.

The comm system was flaky at best in this colony. Establishing communication through a secured channel was just about the only good thing that happened today. Or the past week. “The construction is completed,” said Kaidan. “Now I need to calibrate the targeting matrix.”

“Have you found anything?”

“None,” Kaidan replied. “This colony is as typical as you can find. Nothing out of the ordinary. People here haven't heard about the Reapers. They have no idea how close it had been to an invasion if we didn't stop Saren two years ago.”

“I'm not surprised. Even those on the Citadel are blinded by propaganda. It's much easier to accept that than to face the ugly truth.” Anderson shook his head with a scowl. “Have you heard from Shepard?”

“No, sir.” Kaidan knew better than to question his superior officer, but he could no longer hold back the burning question inside his mind. “Are you sure it's really her?”

“Positive. DNA confirmed, and I tested her memories. She's Aerin, not an imposter or a clone.”

“And she's with Cerberus...” That was still a hard pill to swallow, even though it's been a few weeks since he had received that shocking news from Anderson.

“She is. She's been sending me data she's collected so far.”

Undercover? Covert mission? Was it what Shepard was up to? No, something didn't add up. Anderson didn't know Shepard was still alive until she had showed up in the security footage. Where had she been before that? And why was she with Cerberus? “Where is she now?”

“Intel said the Normandy has landed on Illium.”

“Normandy?” That's a name he hadn't heard for a while.

“That's the name of her new ship. Joker and Dr. Chakwas are all on board.”

That was another surprise.

“I know what the Illusive Man is doing,” said Anderson with a frown. “That manipulative son of a bitch wants to make Shepard comfortable enough to work for him.”

“The Illusive Man?”

“He's the leader of Cerberus. He's usually not directly involved in any Cerberus missions, but Shepard said she has direct access to him. It's one of the reasons why she's staying with Cerberus.”

_What the hell are you doing, Aerin?_

“I trust you, Alenko,” said Anderson suddenly, “but I have to give you a heads up. Shepard might try to recruit you. She has already recruited your former teammate, Garrus Vakarian.”

If Shepard had time to find Garrus, why wouldn't she at least send him an email? Kaidan tried hard to ignore the rising disappointment and that slight sting inside.

“She asked about you, but I didn't tell her where you are,” Anderson continued. “Knowing Shepard, she won't stop until she finds you. With the resources available to her through Cerberus, it won't be long. Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't contacted you yet.”

“She really hasn't...” Kaidan wasn't sure what to think.

“I believe you, son. And I believe you'll do the right thing when that day comes. Having one of our best working with Cerberus is more than I can stomach, temporarily or not. I don't want you to join them too.”

_Join Cerberus?_ No. He wouldn't allow himself to betray everything he had fought for. “I won't join Cerberus, sir. I promise.”

“Good. That's what I want to hear.” Anderson nodded. “I have plans for you, Kaidan. There's a position only you can fill. We'll talk about that when you've finished your current assignment.”

Closing the secured channel, Kaidan leaned back on his chair and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. It was merely a habit, not because of a headache. It had been a long while since his last migraine. But then again, it also had been a while since he had used his biotics. Being an Alliance soldier here in the Terminus Systems was unpopular enough as it was, no need to add fuel to the fire by announcing that he was a human biotic – a freak of nature to most human population all across the galaxy.

Glancing at the door to make sure it was close, Kaidan relinquished the stern grip he had over his power and let it flow through his veins. A familiar blue glow started to envelope his fingertips then spread down to his forearm. Shepard used to love this little display, he recalled fondly. And, on more than a few occasions, he had deliberately delayed reigning in his biotics after a battle just to catch the commander staring at him.

Kaidan smiled faintly at the memories as he reached for a datapad across the room. The datapad flew squarely into his hand. These days, this was the most he could use his power for.

He missed those days flying across the galaxy on the Normandy. Hopping from planet to planet, dodging bullets by day, spending his downtime with Shepard by night.

He missed the Normandy, the crew, even the food. But most of all, he missed the captain.

Those few months with Shepard had been the best time of his life. Until that day, that accident that had ended Shepard's life, and in some ways, his.

Shepard and Cerberus... It still didn't make any sense no matter how long and hard he had been thinking it through. How did Cerberus even know where to find her? Why did they rescue her? Where had she been in the past two years? Why didn't she contact him?

Questions after questions popping up inside his head without one single answer. It would drive him crazy if he let it continue. Kaidan halted all the unnecessary thoughts then shifted his focus back onto the datapad in his hand. For now, he had to figure out how to calibrate the targeting matrix, or the turrets would be no more than a series of useless towers in the middle of a peaceful colony.

 

* * *

 

Location: Illium, Liara's Apartment

 

“I'm glad you both could make it. Please come in,” Liara led Shepard and Garrus into her apartment.

The wide windows that wrapped around half of the apartment offered a gorgeous view of Nos Astra. The décor was mostly white, elegant and very tastefully done, although Shepard found it lacked a certain warmth in her opinion. In her dream house, she had a bar, a fireplaces, and a series of display racks for her gun collection. Of course, there had to be a display shelf for all the model ships she had started to collect in her cabin.

“Nice place,” Shepard commented.

“Thank you. I am sorry I couldn't talk freely at my office.” Liara motioned at the couch then poured three glasses of wine. “There are spies and agents everywhere on Nos Astra.”

'47 Thessia Red, Shepard noticed the label on the bottle. “You have a lot of enemies?”

“It's nothing I couldn't handle.” Liara handed her a glass and sat down beside her. “But I know a lot of things. Information comes to me by the hundreds or even thousands on daily basis. People will watch my every move to see if I will leak anything by mistakes. Information is currency here on Illium.”

Garrus walked towards the windows and peeked outside. “If people are after you, you should reinforce your place, T'Soni. Start with the windows. If I can see them, they can see you.”

Liara smiled gently. “Ah, Garrus... I assure you I am quite safe here. My enemies are more likely to plant a bug in my office than a bullet in me. And if they're stupid enough to try, they won't have the chance to repeat that mistake twice. ”

“You can't be too careful,” Garrus insisted.

Liara merely shook her head with a gentle smile. “I see Omega has changed you.”

_And Illium has changed you, Liara_ , Shepard wanted to say but didn't.

“You've heard about that, huh?” he asked, finally joining his friends at the comfortable couch.

“Archangel of Omega. Your sojourn on Omega generated quite a few articles... not to mention security footage. There's one thing I couldn't dig up, though. Did you really take out three Blue Suns mercenaries with one bullet?”

“Nah. Of course not,” said Garrus. “The third guy had a heart attack. Not fair to count him.”

“Dead is dead,” said Shepard. “Take the credit, Vakarian.”

“Speaking of dead, I've heard Nassana was found dead last night.” Liara turned to Shepard. “I assume you've found your assassin?”

“Your sources told you?” asked Shepard.

“No. It was on the news,” said Liara, mildly amused.

“Thane has joined us,” Shepard told her, recalling the conversation she had with the drell early today, about his disease, his training, and his religion. “We sure could use his help to fight the Collectors. And yours.”

“I can't, Aerin. But I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“Can you tell me now?”

Liara paused for a bit before she asked, “Do you remember the Shadow Broker?”

“Yeah. He's the most powerful information broker in the galaxy.”

“And the most dangerous,” Liara added. “No one knows who he is. Given his resources, there's speculations he may actually be a group operation under one name.”

Shepard scowled in confusion. “Are you on the run from the Shadow Broker? Maybe I can help you.”

“Actually, it would be more accurate to say the Shadow Broker is on the run from me,” Liara corrected her. “We crossed paths not long after you died. Since then, I've been working to take him down.”

“Take him down?” said Garrus. “That's not like you, Liara. What did the Shadow Broker do to you?”

“I was on a job with a friend. The Shadow Broker's people caught us. My friend didn't escape. I don't know if he's dead or being interrogated, but I need to find him. I owe him my life. And I need to make the Shadow Broker pay for what he did.”

“Come with me,” said Shepard. “I'll help you go after him.”

“I'm sorry, Aerin. The galaxy doesn't work that way. I need to find leads, trace information. I need to work. I can't do that on the Normandy.” Liara lowered her gaze with a hint of regret. “I wish I could.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No. If I find anything useful, I'll let you know. For now, I'll keep doing what I've been doing the past two years.”

“Which is?” asked Shepard.

“Gather information, peel away layers of lies, and shine light into the shadows. I'll keep waiting, keep hunting,” said Liara, her expression darkened with each word. “It could be years before I track the Shadow Broker down. But someday he'll slip up. And I'll be there. I'll hit him with a biotic field so strong that what's left of his body will fit into a coffee cup!”

Shepard exchanged a look with Garrus. Her turian twin was as surprised as she was. Liara had definitely changed, and Shepard wasn't sure if it was for the better. “I've never seen you ready to execute someone in cold blood,” said Shepard gently. “That anger can't be just from what you've told me. What really happened between you and the Shadow Broker?”

For a short while, Liara went quiet. When she finally replied, her voice was eerily calm, “Did Cerberus ever tell you how they recovered your body?”

_What does that have to do with anything?_ Shepard shook her head.

“I gave it to them...”

“What?!” Shepard felt as though she had been slapped hard on her face.

“You are kidding?” Garrus gasped.

“...I was the one who found your body.”

The friend she had always trusted had given her to Cerberus. Shepard took a deep breath to contain her shock and confusion, and that surge of anger raising from her belly. “What happened? Tell me!”

“After you died, everything fell apart, so did I,” Liara started. “A month later, I came across a piece of information saying that you were on Omega. So I took a ship there...”

“So that's why you left all of a sudden?” asked Garrus. “Why didn't you tell any of us?”

“And what should I say? That I was chasing a ghost?” Liara shook her head in exasperation. “Tali and Wrex were gone. You spent most of your time at a bar, and Kaidan--”

“What about Kaidan?” asked Shepard.

“Kaidan was a mess after you died!” Liara blurted out.

Shepard turned to Garrus for confirmation. His silence was her answer.

That hurt Shepard more than she would let on. Clenching her jaws, she could feel her anger had risen up in her throat.

“Wait, how did you meet Cerberus?” asked Garrus.

“When I arrived on Omega, my contact told me Aerin's body had been recovered in a stasis pod. We were attacked by the Blue Suns,” Liara began to explain. “They were working for the Shadow Broker. Someone paid him to retrieve your body, Aerin. We escaped the attack and ran into your Cerberus 'friend'.”

Shepard scowled. “Miranda?”

Liara nodded. “She told me she was also looking for you, and suggested we should work together. ...And I agreed. Miranda took me to meet with the Illusive Man. He told me that the Collectors wanted your body, Aerin, and they had hired the Shadow Broker to retrieve it.”

“The Collectors?” It almost felt as though she was in a bizarre dream, everything seemed to make sense but nothing really did. “...Why would they want me?”

“I have a theory, but it's nothing more than my own speculations. And I don't think even the Illusive Man knew the answer. When I met with him, he wanted me to find out the Collectors they wanted your body, and to get it before they could.”

“Cerberus has many agents, why would he hire you?” asked Garrus.

There was a hesitation before she answered, “He knew I would do anything for Aerin...”

Shepard didn't know what to say.

“It took me a long while,” Liara continued, “but my contact-- my friend and I tracked down your body on Alingon. We were attacked, I managed to get out alive when my friend held them off. Your body was already loaded on a ship, and I took it to a Cerberus facility.”

Shepard shook her head in disbelief. “...Why didn't you turn my body over to the Alliance? Why did you hand me over to Cerberus?”

“Because I couldn't let you go!”

Shepard blinked hard, speechless.

Liara took a second to collect herself. “The Illusive Man told me about the Lazarus Project. At first I convinced myself that you should be left alone, that the idea of resurrecting you was wrong. But I couldn't let you go, Aerin. I couldn't... Not when there was a chance, the slightest chance that I might see you again someday.”

For the longest time, none of them said another word.

“I'm sorry, Aerin,” said Liara, breaking the dead silence. “I'm not sure if you'd ever forgive me, but I hope you'd at least understand where I was coming from.”

It took Shepard a while to find her voice. “...I understand. It's okay...”

“Thank you. I... I was afraid you'd hate me.”

“You did what you had to.”

“Now you know why I must destroy the Shadow Broker. For what he did to my friend, and to you, and whatever he's doing with the Collectors.” 

Shepard could only nod.

“Oh, I have something for you.” Liara reached into her pocket and pulled out a chain.

Shepard took it. Dangling at the end of the chain were two pieces of metals had been with her through thick and thin for more than a decade. It was more than meeting an old friend, but reuniting with a part of her that had been missing ever since her resurrection.

“How did you--?”

“I took it off you before I handed you over to Cerberus.” Liara looked slightly embarrassed. “I wanted something from you, a piece of you that I could hold onto. It sounds silly now that I say it out loud...”

“Thanks,” said Shepard quietly.

“If you need help, this time tell us,” said Garrus. “You're not alone, Liara.”

“He's right,” said Shepard. “If your friend is in trouble because of me, the least I could do is help.”

Liara nodded. “I'll tell you as soon as I get more information. Thank you, both of you. I'm glad you are back, Aerin. I really am.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Bar

 

Three rounds had come and gone, and Shepard had yet to say a word. Nursing his own drink, Garrus watched as she ordered her forth.

“So, a salarian, a turian, and a human went to the bar,” he started casually.

Shepard downed her shot before shooting him a glance. “Come on, Garrus, you tell better jokes than that.”

“I wasn't going to tell a joke, just making an observation.” He nodded towards a group nearby. Three men were sitting – or rather drooling – while an asari danced provocatively on the table.

Shepard looked over to that group of men and shook her head.

“What's on your mind?” Garrus asked, knowing the answer to his own question.

“Just thinking about what Liara said. I never asked Miranda how Cerberus got a hold of my body. Now I know.”

Frankly, Garrus was also surprised that Liara was the one responsible for stealing Shepard's corpse. It definitely sounded more like something he and Wrex would pull off if they knew someone was planning to desecrate the body of their dear friend. But, in hindsight, he could see how Liara could pull that stunt. The answer was one simply word: Love. Or in this case, unrequited love.

Liara's crush on Shepard back on SR-1 was a well-known lower deck secret, Garrus recalled. He had never asked Shepard how she had handled that delicate situation, and he wasn't about to dig his own grave by asking that question right now.

“Fighting off the Blue Suns and snitching your body right under the Shadow Broker's nose, that's impressive,” he commented.

“And then handed my body over to Cerberus,” Shepard continued for him nonchalantly.

“I know you told Liara you're okay with that, but really...”

“What was I supposed to say? Blame her?” Shepard sighed. “I don't know, Garrus. I'm grateful that I'm still alive, sure. But, part of me wish she would just hand my body over to the Alliance for a goddamn funeral.”

“What good would it do if you're dead right now?”

“Peace,” Shepard replied. “I deserve to rest in peace after saving the galaxy.”

“You will,” he promised her. “Eventually, we all will. But people like us are born to fight.”

“Fight for injustice, helping people who can't help themselves? Like you on Omega?”

“Your fights are on a different level: Saren, the Reapers, the Collectors. If you had a choice to be resurrected or not, what would you choose?

Shepard slumped back onto the chair and tilted her head backward to stare at the ceiling. For the longest time, she remained silent. Garrus sat back and sipped his drink, patiently waiting for an answer he already knew.

“I never wanted to die like that,” she told him quietly. “It was horrible...”

“You remember dying?”

“Every second of it. Every breath I struggled to take.” Her eyes focused on the ceiling as if watching a vid he couldn't see. “I had a tear on my suit. Air got sucked out of my lungs until I couldn't breath anymore. It was so cold that my skin burnt like it's on fire...”

Garrus regretted asking. He reached over to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “And now you are given a second chance.”

Shepard made a non-committal noise then tore her gaze away from the ceiling and ordered another shot. “Remember the things Saren said?” she asked him after her drink arrived.

“Which part? He talked a lot for a turian.”

“He talked about the future with a perfect union of synthetic and organic.”

Garrus nodded. “The Geth implanted him. He was some sort of prototype, if you could even call him that.”

Shepard downed her latest shot before she continued, “I've become what he envisioned.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cerberus didn't resurrect me by defibrillating my heart or compressing my lungs. No. My body was burned beyond recognition. They rebuilt me, piece by piece, like I'm some sort of machine.” Shepard looked at him squarely in the eyes. “I don't know what I am anymore, Garrus. Half-human, half-machine? I probably have more implants than Saren. I've become what Saren wanted, what the Reapers wanted. I've become what we fought against.”

“That bastard was indoctrinated. You're not. The Reapers controlled him through his implants, but you... You still have your own mind, or else you won't be arguing with Miranda all the time. Cerberus doesn't control you like the Reaper did to Saren. The way I see it, you are the new and improved Shepard.”

Shepard snorted and shook her head. “That's it, huh?”

“Yeah. Life's complicated enough already, don't make it even more so. Besides, you're not the only one who has implants.” Garrus pointed to the bandage on his face before ordering another round for both of them. “After going through hell that many times with you, it's safe to say that I know you very well. So believe me when I tell you this: You are you, Shepard. Still the very same stubborn and crazy woman I met two years ago, but now faster, stronger, and tougher.”

“Yeah, too many times to hell and back. Saren, the Reapers, and now the Collectors... I really couldn't face any of these without you.”

“Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.”

That earned a faint chuckle from her. Garrus breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Garrus,” said Shepard, raising her glass to him. “I mean it.”

“That's what old friends are for. We pick each other up, dust each other off, and drink each other under the table.” He finished his drink and stood up with a stretch. “Come on, let's get out of here.”

“Where are we going?”

“We are going to release some of your stress.”

“Heading to some dark alley to beat up some thugs?”

“I think I'm done with street-cleaning for a while,” said Garrus. “Let's go shoot some bottles instead. We still have a score to settle.”

A smirk spread on her lips. “You're on, Vakarian. Loser has to buy a new rifle for the winner.”

He draped an arm over her shoulders and led her out of the bar. “Another rifle adds to my collection? I can hardly wait.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

“Shepard,” a feminine voice called out for her. “Shepard.”

Shepard rolled over and buried half of her face onto the pillow, trying to ignore the intrusion.

“Commander Shepard, wake up,” the voice insisted. Through her hazy mind, Shepard recognized it to be EDI's.

“...Is the ship on fire?” Shepard mumbled through her pillow.

“Negative,” said EDI. “There is no emergency on any deck. All systems are functioning within their parameters.”

“Good... Then what is it?” asked Shepard, half-way back to her dreamland.

“The Illusive Man is waiting for you in the communications room. His message is top-priority.”

“Of course it is...” Shepard pushed herself up and glanced at the clock. She had only slept for four hours after a night out drinking. For once, she didn't have any nightmare, and the Illusive Man just had to call this early in the morning.

“Tell him I'll be right there,” Shepard told the AI then dragged herself to the bathroom.

Hangover was a bitch. Even with all those implants inside her, Shepard wasn't immune to it. Right now, a hot shower was her top priority; the Illusive Man would have to wait for five minutes.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“Shepard, I think we have them!” said the Illusive Man, skipping any pleasantries. “Horizon – one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems – just went silent.”

_Horizon? Kaidan..._ Shepard's blood went cold. _No..._ “Is it under attack?”

“If it isn't, soon it will be,” the Illusive Man told her. “Has Mordin delivered the countermeasure for the seeker swarms?”

“Not yet.”

“Let's hope he works well under pressure. There's something else you should know. One of your former crew, Kaidan Alenko, is stationed on Horizon.”

So Liara's info was correct. Shepard balled up her fists behind her back to keep her hands from trembling. “Notify the Alliance. Now!”

“Not until you investigate.”

“Send a message to the Citadel!” Shepard insisted firmly, her fists tightened even further behind her. “The Alliance can give us reinforcements.”

“I don't want the Alliance getting in our way. Once you have the situation under control, I'll send the message personally.”

_You, son of a..._ “If anything happens to Kaidan--” Shepard's threat was cut short.

“If you don't want anything happens to Commander Alenko, I suggest you hurry.”

Shepard bit back a curse. “Send the coordinates, we'll head straight there.”

“This is the most warning we've ever had, Shepard. Good luck.”

“EDI, notify the crew,” Shepard ordered before the scanner around her was powered down. “Shore leave is canceled. Report back to the ship immediately. We're leaving!”

“Yes, Commander.”

Shepard stormed out of the communications room and into the lab. Mordin was already awake and observing a seeker trapped inside a container.

“Tell me you have something,” said Shepard as she marched up to the professor.

Mordin turned to her with a rare smile. “Yes.”

It was then Shepard dared to release a breath she had been holding. She could only hope she was not too late.

–


	14. Horizon

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 13: Horizon

Year: 2183CE

Location: Citadel

 

_The bed was warm. The body next to his was even warmer. Kaidan shifted closer towards the source of radiating heat underneath the blanket and opened one sleepy eye. The soft orange glow from Shepard's omni-tool lit up the dark room. Still groggy from the wonderful dream he just had, Kaidan made a noise from his throat to get Shepard's attention._

“ _Shh... go back to sleep,” Shepard coaxed quietly._

“ _...What time is it?” he mumbled and noticed screen showed a list in a familiar format. Was she checking her emails in the middle of the night?_

“ _Still early,” she whispered. “Not even dawn. We're not leaving until noon. Get some sleep.”_

_Right, their shore leave was almost over; they were scheduled to take off this afternoon. Today would be the last day he would wake up next to her, at least until their next shore leave. Even with Saren dead and Sovereign destroyed, the Council still found reasons to deploy Shepard across the galaxy. This time she was sent to destroy the remaining Geth._

“ _We only have a few hours left.” He stripped her omni-tool from her wrist and put it on his side of the nightstand, out of her reach._

“ _Hey,” Shepard protested._

_Kaidan ignored her and pulled her into his arms instead. Not too tall, not too short, her body fit perfectly against his. He buried his nose onto her hair, smiling. He loved her scent – not the fragrance from her shampoo, but a distinctive note from her skin. It was sweet and comforting. And he was addicted to it._

“ _I'm not your pillow, Mister,” Shepard complained, yet she snuggled closer._

“ _You've been using me as your pillow. Now it's my turn.”_

“ _Fine. Until you fall asleep.” He felt her soft lips pressed on the hollow of his throat._

_He dipped his head down a bit to whisper in her ear, “And if I don't fall asleep?”_

“ _Then we'll have to find something else to do, don't we?” Her tone sent a shiver down his spine._

_He chuckled and gave her a kiss on top of her head then rolled onto his back. His arms never once loosened, bringing her along with him. Shepard didn't complain about the sudden shift, nor did he expect her to. After all, he was once again her pillow as her head rested comfortably onto his chest._

_For the longest time, they remained still. She was listening his heartbeats as he idly stroke her hair._

_Despite everything that had happened in the past few month, despite the hardship, the heartbreak, Kaidan had never been happier. And he knew the reason: It was Shepard._

_Time seemed to move at the speed of light when he was with her. They had spent the past few weeks in heaven, and now it was time to go back to reality. It was the same reality he had known for the past thirty-two years, only now did he realize something was missing. A taste of heaven had shown him what he really wanted. And what he wanted was simple: He wanted to wake up next to her every morning._

_He wanted her to be in his life, and him in hers._

_But for now, they had another mission ahead of them. They had only a few hours left in heaven._

“ _Can't believe it's almost over,” Kaidan broke the silence in a voice almost as lower as a whisper. “Wish we have more time together.”_

“ _We've spent the entire shore leave together,” she reminded him. “Most of the time right here.”_

“ _Not enough.”_

“ _So how much time do you need?”_

“ _I prefer a lifetime,” he blurted out, surprised even himself._

_She didn't answer. Instead, she shifted to bury her face onto his chest. Kaidan swore he heard the faintest chuckle before she pushed herself up. Under the ambient lights, he noticed her cheeks were slightly flushed as she looked at him with a teasing smirk. “Is that... a marriage proposal?”_

“ _What?” That woke him up completely. Did he really mean that?_ Yes, but... _“No!”_

_To his surprise, Shepard looked more than disappointed. She seemed... hurt. “...You don't want me.”_

What?! _His eyes widened further in panic. “No! No, that's not what I mean,” he quickly explained. “Down the road, sure, if the Reapers don't come back and wipe the entire galaxy. But proposing now? Here? No. That's not fair to you. It's something that has to be done just right, you know? The flowers, the ring, the er...” He paused to take a breath, trying hard to think what a proper proposal would actually require, since he had never given it any thoughts at all. It was then he noticed she had hidden half of her face under the blanket, shaking with silent laughter. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, then his panic dissipated instantly upon sudden realization. “...You're messing with me.”_

“ _You're so sweet,” she muttered underneath the blanket before quickly burying her face into the pillow and burst into laughter._

_There were probably only a handful of people who were lucky enough to be the targets of Shepard's pranks; only a few had seen this playful side of her. Even fewer knew about the secret weakness of the legendary commander. Kaidan did._

“ _You'll have to pay for that.” It was the only warning he would give her before he reached under the blanket and tickled her waist._

_Shepard screamed and squirmed away from him. He wasn't about to let it slide. He continued his attack and pressed on while she rolled away, trying to dodge his hands. The harder she squirmed and dodged, the more persistent his ticking fingers became._

_Screams blended in with laughter as the struggle continued until they fell off the bed._

_His instinct kicked in. Kaidan immediately held onto Shepard to break her fall and landed on his back._

“ _Oh god. You okay?” asked Shepard breathlessly, lying on top of him without a scratch. “Sorry!”_

“ _Yeah...” he mumbled then studied that lovely face inches from his. If she thought their battle was over, she was wrong..._

_Somehow, Shepard could read his mind. She suddenly pushed herself away from him to escape. But Kaidan was faster. He sneaked his arms around her waist then rolled off his back and pinned her underneath him._

“ _Where do you think you're going?” he asked, holding her down firmly._

“ _All right. I'm sorry. But...” She paused as a sweet smile appeared, the very same smile he knew only reserved for him. “I agree. A shore leave isn't enough. We need a lifetime...”_

_That was completely unexpected. Kaidan could only stare at her, wondering if it was all a very long and elaborated dream._

“ _You don't need flowers, or even a ring,” she continued softly. “All you need to do is ask.”_

_He swore the inside of him had been melted by each and every word. A sudden strong urge arose – an urge to ask her to marry him right here, right now. But Kaidan refrained. Not like this... Not on the floor of a hotel room with them both half-naked._

“ _And I'd say yes.” Shepard paused then added jokingly with a teasing grin, “Probably. I don't know. There's no guarantee. Maybe I'll even have you wait.”_

_Kaidan chuckled and touched the side of her face gently. “I'll take it, as long as it's your decision, even if you want me to wait for a decade or two.”_

“ _Twenty years?” She made a face. “I'll be almost fifty by then. You sure you still want me?”_

“ _But I'll also be twenty years older,” he reminded her. “I should be asking you that.”_

“ _I've a feeling you'd look even better with age. Guess I'd better start laying claim to you while I still can.” She looked straight into his eyes lovingly. “So... A lifetime together then. Sounds good to you?”_

“ _Lifetime sounds perfect,” he agreed with a tender smile then pressed his lips softly onto her to seal their deal with a kiss._

_Proposal and wedding were all ceremonial. From this moment on, he knew he was hers, and she was his. Nothing could tear them apart._

 

* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Horizon

 

Mornings were always beautiful on Horizon. Today was no exception. Soft breeze, warm sun, and cloudless sky were all ignored by Kaidan as he headed to the defense towers to begin another day of work. Most of the colonists were used to seeing him around, though that didn't mean they had come to accept him. The polite ones might nod at him to acknowledge his presence, but nothing more. The rude ones... Well, Kaidan tried not to think too much on the things they had said.

On his way to the site, he saw a familiar figure – a rare friendly face. “Lilith,” he called out after the woman he had been working with. “We've got a problem.”

“Still can't calibrate the targeting matrix?”

He nodded. “Those defense towers are useless if we don't figure it out.”

“Sorry, Commander. Getting our comm systems back online takes priority.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Kaidan conceded. “Surprised people haven't tried to blame that one on me, too.”

“People out here don't trust the Alliance.” She gave him an apologetic glance. “It's nothing personal.”

Kaidan knew. They wanted to get rid of him as much as he wanted to get the hell out of this colony. While he usually appreciated a nice and peaceful place, lately he had been exceptionally restless. It had all started from that meeting with Anderson, the rumor – and later on, confirmation – of Shepard's return. Shepard was out there, somewhere, with Cerberus. And he was here, arming the colony against an inevitable attack, possibly by Cerberus.

A strange buzzing noise stole his attention, and it was getting louder.

“What is that?” asked Lilith, staring into the sky.

Kaidan looked up and saw a strange cloud approaching. Something wasn't right. That wasn't definitely not some dark cloud or smoke, but a swarm of insects.

“Get everyone to the safehouse,” he told Lilith, who hesitated at the suggestion. The swarm approached too quickly for any further argument. “I'll cover you,” Kaidan urged. “Run!”

Bullets wouldn't do much damage. Instead of reaching for his pistol, a bright blue glow flared around him. First defense then offense. Out of habit, Kaidan created a barrier before firing a biotic kick from his outreach hand straight towards the flying bugs, knocking down many, but not all.

Retreating, Lilith tripped and fell onto the ground. Kaidan spared a second to help her up before his next attack. But the swarm flew faster that he had expected. He felt a sudden sting on his neck and caught the bug before it could do more damage.

_What the hell is this?_ Crushed in his hand was something that appeared to be an insect, but it certainly wasn't organic.  _Mechanical bugs?_

There was no time to further investigate. He began to feel numb around the area where he had been stung. Turning around, he saw the colonists had all frozen in the middle of their escape, including the woman he had been working with.

“Lilith!”

She didn't move, neither did the rest of the colonists. The only movements Kaidan noticed were their eyes. They were still alive, but paralyzed.

“I'll call for backup!” he told her.

The remaining bugs had already regrouped and headed right at him. Kaidan sent another biotic kick, not to knock them all down, but to buy himself some time to outrun the swarm.

He needed reinforcements. He had to contact the Alliance before he too was immobilized. But first, he had to make it to the comm systems and get them back online.

 

* * *

 

Shepard jumped out of the shuttle as soon as it had landed. They were at the outer skirt of the colony, and it was quiet. Too quiet.

“What is that?” Jacob pointed at the tower in the center of the colony. Or rather, that odd looking object attached to the top part of the structure.

“Collector's ship,” said Mordin.

“Those bastards are here already,” said Zaeed with his rifle in his hands.

Shepard's frown tightened. The colony wasn't too big, but to locate one person might take some time – time Kaidan might not have.

“Seeker swarms.” Miranda nodded towards what seemed to be a dark cloud looming above the town ahead of them.

“Mordin, you sure those armor upgrades will protect us from the seeker swarms?” asked Garrus, looking reasonably skeptical.

“It's too late to ask, Vakarian,” Zaeed commented, seemingly as wary as the other man.

“Certainty impossible,” Mordin answered. “But in limited numbers, should confuse detection, make us invisible to swarms.” He nodded then added, “In theory.”

“In theory?” Garrus' mandibles twitched ever-so slightly.

“Experimental technology. Look forward to test them in person.” Mordin paused with a breath. “Should be exciting.”

“Yeah, for you,” Zaeed grumbled. “Goddamn bugs...”

“I'm going in even if I have to squash every single one of those bugs,” said Shepard, determined. “Our first priority is to locate Commander Kaidan Alenko. Start scanning for survivors.”

“Comman--” Joker's voice came in, breaking up. “We-- etting all kinds... --ference. We can't maintai--” Then, his signal was gone.

“Collector's ship disrupting communications,” said Mordin.

“We're on our own now,” said Miranda. For once she looked uncertain.

“We don't need the ship,” Grunt commented while pumping his shotgun. “We only need our guns.”

Shepard swallowed hard to shove away the bad feelings that kept eating at her. “Garrus, Thane, get to the higher ground. Be our eyes and snipe,” Shepard told them, then turned to the others. “The rest of you, with me. Let's move out.”

 

* * *

 

Unlike the rest of the colonists, Kaidan was able to move, although barely. Whatever stung him just now couldn't quite get pass his biotic barrier completely before he had killed it. He felt numb, as if drugged by some sort of toxin.

It would be just a matter of minutes before the bugs found him and overwhelmed him. He had to keep moving.

He maintained his biotic barrier as he ran through the town, cutting through buildings whenever he could to minimize outdoor exposure. But his biotics couldn't last forever, not without frying his own brain. He had to act fast.

A message had to be sent. Even if he had to die here today, he needed to make sure the Alliance was prepared for this type of attack – whatever those bugs were.

 

* * *

 

“Shepard, we've got company,” warned Garrus through the radio.

Shepard spotted them. Up ahead were those aliens she had seen in the security footage in Freedom's Progress.

“Collectors,” Shepard sneered as she slid behind a cover. She signaled her team to get in position and waited for the Collectors to approach.

No one had never encountered this mythical species before, but like any other species in the galaxy, a bullet in the head should kill them. And if one bullet wasn't enough, a few more would certainly do the trick. Organic or synthetic, they could all be destroyed by guns.

“Now,” said Thane from his vantage point.

“Go!” Shepard ordered.

She jumped out and grabbed a Collector by the neck then sunk her omni-blade into its torso. She quickly switched to her rifle and started shooting at another enemy before leaping behind a cover to dodge the incoming attack.

A Collector nearby sank to the ground with a bullet hole in between its eyes. “I love this rifle.” Shepard heard Garrus mumbled to himself.

Bullets fired from all directions, at least from the guns on her side. On the enemy's side though, Shepard noticed the weapons they used were something she had never seen before.

“Damn, those bastards are heavily armed,” said Zaeed as he dodged around the corner to reload.

Miranda stripped the shield on a Collector with her biotics then finished it with her gun. “Those aren't bullets,” Miranda told the rest of the team. “Be careful!”

If this was what they're facing, Kaidan might not last too long fighting Collectors by himself, however strong his biotics was. Shepard shot down the enemies surrounding her before rolling behind another cover. “Bullets or not, they need to die asap!”

“You've it, Shepard!” Grunt smashed the skull of a Collector with the butt of his shotgun then fired twice at another one near him.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Shepard heard a voice. “Assuming direct control.” Then, one of the Collectors transformed in front of her eyes. Smoke and flame erupted from the cracks of its skin.

“What the hell is that?” asked Miranda, frowning.

“Doesn't matter. Just kill it!” Grunt replied.

“We are the harbinger of your perfection,” said the transformed Collector. “You cannot stop us, Shepard. Submit now.”

Shepard scowled. “Like hell I am!” She jumped out of her cover and continued to fight.

“Swarms are here,” Miranda warned, her voice was almost drowned by the sound of gunshots.

Shepard noticed the bugs too, but she was ignored by them. As were the rest of her team.

“Experiment was a success,” Mordin declared.

“Salarian,” said Harbinger. “Insufficient lifespam. Fragile genetic structure.”

“Fragile?” Mordin shot and killed one then set another on fire. “Here, enjoy.”

“I am krogan!” Grunt charged at an enemy, knocking it on the ground before finishing it with his shotgun pointblank.

“Krogan. Sterilized race. Potential wasted,” Harbinger continued with his analysis. “Drell. Useless. Insufficient numbers.”

Thane replied with a perfect headshot. Another Collector dropped onto the ground. “Kalahira be praised.”

“Focus on Shepard,” Harbinger told the remaining of the Collectors. “Preserve Shepard's body if possible.”

“Protect the commander!” Miranda ordered immediately.

“I can handle--” Shepard's words were cut short when she was forced to dodge a series of attacks coming from different angles.

More than a few shots hit her shield. While nothing penetrated through her armor, she could definitely felt the impact of whatever ammo those Collectors were using. Shepard bit back a grunt while catching a breath behind a new cover.

“This hurts you,” said Harbinger.

“Focus on the rest of the Collectors,” she told her team through her radio. “That son of a bitch is mine!”

“Human. Viable possibility. Impressive genetic malleability. Aggression factor useful if controlled.”

Ignoring the rant, Shepard peeked out of her cover and fired at her target, striping Harbinger's shield with her bullets.

“Will he ever shut up?” Zaeed grumbled as he reloaded. Two Collectors laid dead by his boots.

“I think he's trash-talking us one by one,” Garrus commented.

“Turian,” Harbinger continued. “You're considered. Too primitive.”

“All right, that is!” said Garrus. His next bullet hit Harbinger squarely on its head. “Sorry, Shepard. Stole your kill.”

Shepard didn't mind one bit. “You owe me a drink for that, Vakarian.”

“Releasing control of this form,” said Harbinger. Within seconds, the voice came back again, taking over the body of one of the last few Collectors. “Assuming direct control. Kill one, and one hundred will replace it.”

“You've got to be kidding,” Miranda huffed as she crushed a group of husks with her biotics.

“Ha! Sounds fun!” said Grunt, running from cover to cover recklessly with his shotgun pumping almost nonstop.

“Perfect target practice!” Garrus added and continued with his streak of headshots. “Never saw me coming.”

“You've escaped us before, Shepard,” said Harbinger. “Not again.”

“I'm here, you bastard.” Shepard peeked out from her cover to shoot at Harbinger. Her bullets once again started to strip its shield, earning her its full attention.

“My attack will tear you apart,” Harbinger taunted, firing at Shepard to force her to retreat.

Shepard switched to her shotgun and reached for a grenade in her pouch. “Stay back,” she warned her team over the radio and tossed the grenade over the cover, then counted mentally to three.

Upon hearing the expected explosion, Shepard vaulted over the cover and charged towards her enemy before the smoke dissipated. When Harbinger finally noticed her presence, she had already shot him between his eyes, point-blank, twice. “Try harder next time.”

“Releasing control,” said Harbinger, letting go of its puppet.

“Watch out!” Miranda warned.

Shepard whipped around and saw a horde of husks came out around the corner, charging right at her. Before she could slash them with her omni-blade, they were slammed against the nearest wall, courtesy of Miranda's biotics. Shepard finished them one by one before they could even move.

“Thanks, Miranda,” said Shepard.

“All targets neutralized,” said Mordin upon setting the last Collector on fire.

“Why are they targeting you, Shepard?” asked Garrus.

“Don't know.”

“It sounds personal,” said Miranda. “This can't be a coincidence, Shepard. The Collectors just happen to hit the colony where Alenko is currently stationing on. What are the chances?”

Shepard agreed. “If they want to kill me, they're welcome to try. But if they touch Kaidan, I'll tear them apart limb by limb.” She holstered her shotgun and switched to her rifle. “Let's head to the next sector. Continue to scan for survivors.”

Time was running out. If she had to turn this colony upside down to find Kaidan, she would.

 

* * *

 

Two shadows jumped down from the rooftop of a building and landed on the courtyard. Kaidan immediately took cover around a corner with his rifle ready. With four eyes and a giant head, they were some sort of aliens Kaidan had never seen. If he had to guess, those were probably the Collectors Anderson had mentioned. 

The Collectors were armed, but their weapons were holstered. They approached a pair of paralyzed colonists lying in the middle of the once peaceful patio, then each grabbed the arms of the colonists and dragged them away.

Kaidan watched in horror. _What the hell are they going to do with the colonists?_ There was no time to think. His biotic glow flared as he manipulated the mass effect field around the Collectors. It had been a while since he had last tried to reave, but luckily his skills hadn't gotten rusty. The Collectors doubled over in pain, dropping the colonists back onto the ground. Kaidan immediately slammed his enemies against nearest wall, setting off a biotic explosion, killing them both instantly.

The colonists were safe, for now. Both with eyes widened in pure shock, yet couldn't move a muscle.

The most logical strategy told him he should just run to the comm systems to have it fixed before he too was paralyzed by the bugs, that taking his time to save two colonists might jeopardize the lives of many. But Kaidan could never live with himself if he knew he could do something but didn't.

“Let me get you out of here,” he told the two frozen men, then took a minute to carry them to a house nearby, hiding them from both the swarm and the Collectors.

First the swarms were here to immobilize the victims, then the Collectors arrived to... well, collect. Although extremely sickening, that plan was disturbingly ingenious. But was Cerberus really behind this? Could they even pull off something on this scale? Kaidan started to have his doubts.

If the Collectors were the perpetrators, and Shepard was going after them... What if she got stung and kidnapped by the Collectors? Kaidan's heart dropped to his stomach.

_Aerin, wherever you are, please be careful._

 

* * *

 

“No signs of resistance,” Mordin pointed out as they moved through another part of the colony. “Must have happened quickly.”

“Commander,” Jacob called out for her.

Shepard ran to where he was and saw a human body on the ground, frozen in an awkward position.

Jacob scanned the body with his omni-tool. “He's still alive.”

“Paralyzed by some sort of stasis field,” Miranda added.

Mordin took a closer look. “Immobilized. But still aware.”

Grunt examined the body of a husk nearby. “Sorta looks human. Is that one of the colonists?”

“No,” said Shepard. “The Geth impaled live victims on giant spikes to turn them into husks. I saw those on Eden Prime, but there aren't any of those spikes here.”

Mordin nodded. “Collectors brought husks with them. Taking colonists alive. Some other purpose.”

“The Collectors probably need live victims for some sort of experiments,” Miranda deduced. “What are they up to?”

“Fascinating question,” said Mordin. “Answer... probably unpleasant.”

“Guess we'll have to beat the truth out of 'em,” Zaeed suggested.

“Commander,” Thane's voice came through the radio. “A group of Collectors incoming. Two buildings north of your current position.”

“Make it two groups,” said Garrus. “One from the south. It's an ambush, Shepard.”

“Now it gets fun.” Grunt grinned.

“Zaeed, Jacob, take care of the group in the north. Grunt, go with them,” Shepard ordered then turned to Miranda and Mordin. “We'll handle those in the south.”

Then, the sound of two consecutive gunshots tore through the quiet colony. Each from different direction.

“Scratch one,” said Garrus.

Shepard didn't have to ask to know the other shot was fired by Thane. “Let's go!”

 

* * *

 

The comm systems shouldn't be hard to fix, but Kaidan was constantly distracted by a persisting swarm of bugs. His fifth and last consecutive biotic attack had finally knocked down every one last bug, buying him much needed time to get the systems back online. In between his biotic offense and defense, his energy had been draining fast, much faster than he would like. Still, he maintained his barrier to shield himself from sudden attack, hoping there wouldn't be anymore of those insects until he recovered.

His long-absent headache had unfortunately returned due to the strain he had put on his power. Kaidan tried to ignore the pain as he worked on the panel in front of him, until he felt something trickled down his nose. Absentmindedly, he wiped it off with the back of his hand. The sight of blood had him paused with dismay, but Kaidan shook it off mentally. If he couldn't get the systems back online to send for reinforcements, biotic over-exertion would be the least of his problem.

He focused on the control panel, first debugging the problem then rebooting the systems. Soon enough, after a few faint beeps, the comm systems came back online. Kaidan let out a heavy breath in relief.

Booting up his omni-tool, Kaidan began to record, “This is Alenko on Horizon. We are under attack by some sort of mechanical bugs that will paralyze their victims. The Collectors have arrived, and they are abducting the immobilized colonists. I'll try to fight them, but I can't out run the swarms forever. We require backup from the Alliance or the Citadel immediately. I repeat, send backup asap.”

The message was sent to Anderson. Now, he had to survive until the reinforcements arrived.

It was then he heard gunshots. Not a few, but many.

 

* * *

 

The turrets in the middle of the town must be Anderson's secret project, Shepard deduced. Perhaps they were the reason why Kaidan was here.

“It's offline,” Garrus told her over at the control panel. “The targeting matrix is not calibrated. I can try to fix it, but it'll take some time.”

“Time we don't have...” Shepard considered for a second then tapped on her earpiece. “Normandy, do you copy?”

“Joker here, signal's weak but we've got you.”

“EDI, can you get the colony's defense towers online?”

“Errors in calibration software are easily rectify,” EDI told her, “but it will take time to bring the tower to full power. I recommend a defensive posture. I will not be able to mask increased generator output.”

“Do it, EDI,” said Shepard.

“The Collectors will try to stop us,” said Miranda.

“Good. Keep them coming.” Grunt chuckled.

“Enemy reinforcements are closing in,” said EDI. “I suggest you ready weapon.”

“Assuming control.” Shepard heard that voice again. Harbinger.

Reinforcements had arrived. Shepard took position behind a crate and ordered, “Spread out and protect the turrets. Garrus, guard the control panel.”

“On it!” said Garrus.

“Your form is fragile,” said Harbinger. “If I must tear you apart, Shepard, I will.”

“You talk too much,” said Grunt before he charged in and began his attack.

“We are the beginning. You are the end,” taunted Harbinger. “You cannot stop us, Shepard.”

“I will!” Shepard jammed the butt of her rifle at the face of a Collector then stabbed it with her omni-blade.

“A new enemy incoming,” said EDI. “The Praetorian.”

“The what?” said Shepard asked after jumping behind a cover to avoid the line of fire.

“Who cares what it's called, just shoot the bastard,” Zaeed offered his advice over the radio while fighting several Collectors on the other side of the town square.

“Shepard, it's descending,” Thane gave her a heads up.

She spared a brief second to look in the sky and saw it flying towards her. The giant creature was an abomination that resembled a giant insect with multiple husks fused together inside its mouth area. Shepard scowled in disgust. “What the hell is that thing? EDI, scan for weakness!”

“The Praetorian is organic. Protected by barrier and heavy armor,” EDI informed her. “Destroy its armor and it will perish.”

Shepard swore under her breath.

Then, she heard Harbinger said, “You cannot escape your destiny, Shepard.”

Her destiny? What was her destiny? _My destiny is to kill you, you son of a bitch!_ “Protect the tower,” she ordered through her comm. “I'll handle this... thing!”

 

* * *

 

Kaidan followed the noise. Gunshots and explosions. He ran to the source of commotion, fighting every Collectors he encountered. He noticed they seemed to ignore him unless he initiated the attack, as if they were being summon to the same place he was heading to.

From afar, he saw a team in fighting off Collectors near the turrets he had been trying to fix. A professional team. They were not certainly not Alliance soldiers, not with a salarian and a krogan in the mix. Nor were they mercenaries, as they were all too well-trained and well-armed.

Kaidan approached closer after taking down two more Collectors in front of him. Up ahead, he spotted a turian protecting the control panel with a sniper rifle, but he was too far to have a clear look at face of the sniper. A turian in blue armor with a sniper rifle. It brought back a friendly face in his mind, and a particular name.

Then, among the sounds of gunshots, he heard someone screamed, “Shepard, behind you!”

Kaidan froze.

 

* * *

 

While her teammates had been doing an excellent job keeping other Collectors off her back, that flying monster Praetorian had been focusing on her and her alone. Rolling from cover to cover, Shepard dodged its particle beam and drew it away from the tower, away from the turrets.

Three seconds on, three seconds off. Shepard had discerned its attack pattern. She had to tear down the barrier then finish off the creature before its shield could regenerate. But so far, the creature's barrier regenerated faster than she could damage its body.

Leaping behind a new cover, Shepard quickly changed to the Arc Projector – the prototype gun Cerberus had sent her. A quick glance told her the power was full, but it wouldn't last forever.

The Praetorian's particle beam burned a path towards the crate she was hiding behind. Then it stopped. Now was her chance to go full offense.

Leaping out of her cover, Shepard aimed straight at that cluster of husks' heads and squeezed the trigger.

 

* * *

 

And he saw her.

A lone figure in black armor with red and white stripes down the right arm, dodging from cover to cover, leading the creature that was pursuing her away from the tower. She was protecting the turrets, Kaidan immediately realized, and she was using herself as a bait. Just like she had done many times before.

That crazy tactic, that armor, and that name that had been called out. Even though Kaidan couldn't get a clear look at the face of the woman approaching, he knew it was her. It was his Aerin.

He saw her jumping out of her cover and aimed her gun at the flying creature and fired. But soon she was forced to dodge its particle beam. The beam barely missed Shepard; it was a close call. Too close. Kaidan's blood ran cold. He had to do something. A quick scan told him the creature's strength – and Shepard's problem. And he knew exactly what to do.

Kaidan rushed to Shepard's side, running faster than he ever had in his life. By the time he reached her, she was already in the middle of another attack. Stopping a few steps behind her, the blue glow surrounding him suddenly flared blindingly bright as he tore down the creature's barrier with his biotic.

Whether she noticed his presence or not, her eyes never left the target, her finger never stop squeezing the trigger.

Its shield began to recharge all too soon. Again, Kaidan summoned all his strength and cast reave on the creature to destroy both its barrier and its armor. A splitting headache almost blinded him the moment he released his power. The creature flew away, retreating. Kaidan took a breath to steady himself, thankful for a chance to cool down his biotics.

A soft gasp stole his attention. He looked up and found Shepard had turned to him. Bright blue eyes couldn't be any wider as she stared at him, frozen in the middle of the battlefield.

“...Kaidan?” A bright smile slowly surface, lighting up the face he had seen in his dreams almost every night.

Time seemed to stop. There she was, the woman he had loved and lost two years ago, standing right in front of him. Kaidan had heard about her return, he had even dreamed about their reunion, but never had he expected how hard it would hit him when she finally appeared in front of him.

But before he could process all the feelings bubbling inside him, before he could even utter a single word, a shadow in the sky returned all too quickly, sneaking up behind Shepard.

“Look out!” He knocked her out of the way, avoiding the particle beam that had scotched the ground she had been standing on. Holding her close to him, he rolled behind a nearby cover. The creature flew away, though no doubt it would return soon enough. Kaidan checked on Shepard, his arms were still protectively around her. “You all right?”

“Yeah... thanks.” She made no move to push herself away from him. “I've been looking for you. I'm so glad you're okay.”

_I'm not okay. Where have you been the past two years? What are you doing with Cerberus?_ There were too many questions he wanted to ask, but now was not the time.

A scowl settled on her face as she looked up in the sky, that familiar fire returned to her eyes. “It's gonna come around. Get ready.”

“I'll tear down the barrier while you shoot,” he suggested, helping her back on her feet.

Shepard nodded then checked her gun. It was unlike any weapons he had seen in his entire career. “Fifty percent left,” she mumbled to herself then turned to him. “We have to finish it fast.”

“Ready.” His biotic glow pulsed brighter than ever.

Two years had come and gone. Two very long and painful years. But all seemed to fade away when they started working together once more, as though they had never left each other's side.

At this very moment, despite their current predicament, everything felt right. Shepard was here, with him. Kaidan finally felt whole again.

 

* * *

 

Her gun felt lighter, her eyes were sharper, and her fatigue was all but forgotten. The weight that had been dragging her down since her resurrection was lifted the moment she saw him. Kaidan was safe, with her. Her missing half was found. Shepard couldn't be happier.

Except for that little problem in the sky.

Nothing could stand in their way if they worked together, Shepard reminded herself. Although this was far from the reunion she had hoped for, right now they had to fight for their lives. Survival first, anything else could wait. Staying behind the cover beside him, Shepard could feel the static from Kaidan's biotics. She definitely missed that.

The Praetorian returned and dived towards them. It's now or never.

“Now,” Shepard told Kaidan then leaped out of their cover.

The creature jerked in mid air when his biotics hit its shield. His power had grown stronger, she noticed in delight as she aimed and pulled the trigger. Electrical beam blasted from the Arc Projector kept her enemy from approaching or attacking, all while Kaidan unleashed one biotic attack after another to further strip its barrier and armor, leaving the creature vulnerable to her weapon.

And finally its body turned into dust.

With a sigh of relief, Shepard released her firm grip on the trigger and turned to Kaidan with a grin. “We did it--” Her words died when she saw him doubled over, holding his forehead. _Oh god, no..._ “Kaidan!” Shepard immediately rushed to his side.

He held up a hand, trying to straighten up.

“Power at 100%,” EDI announced. “I have control.”

“Destroy their ship!” Shepard ordered, then put her arm around Kaidan's waist to support him. “Hey... you all right?” she asked softly.

“Yeah... I... I'm good.”

But Shepard knew him too well to buy his lie. She guided him back to the defense towers. Bodies of the Collectors and husks were lying at every corner.

“Only we remain, Shepard,” Thane informed her through her radio as she approached the control panel.

“Looks like the commander has found him,” said Jacob to Miranda, who folded her arms across her chest with a slight frown.

“That was a good fight!” said Grunt, chuckling.

“Systems ready,” said EDI. “Fire.”

The turrets fired at the Collector's ship at the top of the tower. The ground shock violently. She held onto Kaidan firmly as the attack continued. Soon enough, the Collector ship released its anchor on the tower and took off.

“Shepard, look out!” Miranda shouted.

Then, she saw it. Part of the tower came crushing down towards them. She might be able to jump away, but not Kaidan, not in his current condition. Without thinking, Shepard knocked Kaidan on the ground then shielded him from the debris with her own body. She would protect him, even if it would cost her everything.

 

* * *

 

It happened all in the blink of an eye. A second ago he was standing, then he was on the ground with Shepard on top of him. Kaidan quickly found out why. Time seemed to slow down as his instinct took over. Putting a protective hand on the back of Shepard's head, he reached deep within for his last bit of strength and fired the strongest biotic kick he could manage to knock away the largest flying debris. He then immediately held up a biotic shield around them to deflect the remaining rubble, giving his all to protect her.

He didn't let go of the shield until the world around them became quiet. Shepard lifted her head up from his shoulder and stared at him in shock, seemingly surprised that she wasn't crushed by now. His outreach arm relaxed and fell onto Shepard's back. The shield around them dissipated.

“Hey...” he whispered, trying to smile for her. But even curling the corners of his lips felt too strenuous. “...Thanks...” He felt something trickled down his nose as the world around him started to dim.

That lovely face hovered inches above his suddenly twisted into panic.

“Kaidan!” As close as she was, her voice sounded distant.

“Looks like biotic over-exertion,” said a woman nearby.

“We've to get him to Dr. Chakwas, Commander,” a man suggested.

Kaidan couldn't see either of them, all he could see was the only person that mattered. Shepard put her hand on the side of his face, her touch was as gentle as before. “Hey... Stay with me, Kaidan.”

“...Aerin...” Kaidan managed to utter a word before his head threatened to split in halves.

“You're gonna be okay. I promise,” Shepard told him softly before leaving out his of sight.

_Don't leave me._

“Mordin, stabilize him if you can.”

“Will do, Shepard.” An omni-tool scanned pass his face down his body. “No broken bones. No internal damages. Wounds artificial,” a fast-talking voice announced near him. “Brain activities... Hm, interesting.”

“Jacob, call for the shuttle,” Shepard continued to order, her tone was once again firm and crisp. “Radio Joker, tell him to have Chakwas standby. I'll take Kaidan back to the Normandy first. The rest of you stay here to finish off the remaining Collectors. Keep an eye out for Alliance equipments. Bring them all back to the ship.”

That was the Shepard he had gone to hell and back with, the Aerin he loved.

_I missed you..._

“Here. This should help,” said the fast-talking man.

He felt a sudden slight pinch on the side of his neck. His eyelids began to feel too heavy.

“Garrus, I need you to...” Shepard's voice faded away into silence as the world around him rapidly darkened.

_Aer..._

And then, there was nothing.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch33 “Heaven”, rewritten from Kaidan's POV. Harbinger's lines are all from the game.

This is not the Horizon you might expect. A special thanks to Xiscorr for her opinion when I was wondering whether to stick with the canon or branch out to a slightly AU version. I picked AU because it fits their relationship in this story better. The level of trust and their bond at the end of part 1 (the flashback) is not something Kaidan could easily turn his back on no matter how pissed or shock he was back on Horizon.

It's been almost a year since I first posted part 1 of this story. It was a story that never meant to see the light of day, but here it is, a year later. And I finally get to post Horizon. ME3 Mars Shenko confrontation was the very first scene I wrote when I first started writing again after a long hiatus, ME2 Horizon confrontation was the second. So this chapter and the next two are very special to me, and it had gone through too many versions, rewriting after rewriting. I might post the original version of the Horizon chapters as a standalone short story one of these days.

Anyway, thank you for reading! And a big thanks to those who leave me a review chapter after chapter. Your support means a lot to me, it makes me keep writing like a woman possessed!

  
  



	15. The Furthest Distance in the World - Part 1

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 14: The Furthest Distance in the World – Part 1

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

She had almost lost him.

If the Normandy had arrived an hour later, Kaidan would have been kidnapped by the Collectors. That thought alone sent a crippling chill down Shepard's spine. They had just found each other, she couldn't lose him. Not again.

The walls around the fortress that contained her emotions had started to crack. Shepard had to turn off her mind and focused on the buckles, the zippers, and the clasps. Piece by piece, she striped off Kaidan's armor systematically, while Chakwas and Mordin were busy setting up the equipments.

When she was done, Shepard draped a blanket over Kaidan's unconscious body to keep him warm. Her task was over, now it's all up to the doctor and the professor.

“Stung by seeker swarm. Once,” said Mordin. “Need blood sample for further study.”

“Here's his latest medical record I pulled from the Alliance database,” said Chakwas.

“L2 implant? Heard about the design flaws. Crippling side effects. Mental instability.”

“Kaidan is one of the few lucky ones,” said the doctor. “The only side effect he has is headache.”

“Hm. Interesting. Would like to study him.”

Still in her armor, Shepard peeled off one of her gauntlets and touched the side of Kaidan's cheek, the way she used to.

“Hey... I'm here,” she whispered softly to him then took his hand in hers. Trembling fingers curled around his icy cold ones. “You're gonna be okay. Hang in there.”

Shepard heard the sliding sound of the med bay door behind her. She ignored it, as she was ignoring the world around her. Right now, only one person mattered.

“Commander.” Kelly came in. “The Illusive Man wants to speak with you.”

“Tell him I'm busy,” said Shepard.

“But the Illusive Man--”

“Not now!” Shepard snapped.

“Go, Commander,” said Chakwas. “There's nothing you can do here.”

Shepard's gaze lingered on Kaidan's face. This was all too familiar. One word came to her mind: Virmire.

Chakwas had treated Kaidan then, she could do it again.

“Kaidan will be fine,” Chakwas assured her. “We'll take care of him.”

Mordin nodded. “Patient stabilized. Will recover.”

Reluctantly, Shepard conceded, “I'll be back.”

 

* * *

  
  


Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“Shepard, good work on Horizon,” said the Illusive Man. “Hopefully the Collectors would think twice before attacking another colony.”

“It's not a victory,” Shepard told him. “We interrupted the Collectors but they still abducted half of the colony.”

“That's better than the entire colony, and better than what we've accomplished since the abductions began. The Collectors are more careful now, but I think we can find another way to lure them in.”

“Lure them in?” Shepard scowled upon realization. “...This is a set up?”

The Illusive Man merely shrugged. “I may have let it slip that you're alive. And with Cerberus.”

Shepard couldn't believe what she had just heard. He had leaked the intel to the Alliance, knowing Anderson would act. Hook, line, and sinker. “You, son of a bitch!” If he wasn't a hologram, she would have punched him in the face right here, right now. “You risked the lives of Kaidan, _my_ team, and the entire colony just to lure the Collectors there?!”

“A calculated risk,” said the Illusive Man calmly despite Shepard's harsh tone. “I suspected the Collectors are looking for you, or people connected to you. Now I know for certain. I told you I wouldn't sit and wait while the Collectors and the Reapers gather strength. Beside, they would have hit another colony eventually, and without a way to predict which one, they would've abducted everyone.”

“Let me be absolutely clear.” She sneered. “If you pull this kind of shit again, if you use Kaidan, my mom, or anyone I know as a bait, I swear the Collectors will be the least of your problems!”

“Duly noted.” The Illusive Man gave her a nod of acknowledgment, though not without a hint of condescension. It was as if Shepard's threat was empty to him. Perhaps it was. After all, with the power and resources he had, why would he care about the threat of one soldier?

From the moment Cerberus had recovered her body, Shepard had been nothing but a pawn in his game, and so was everyone else. Including the man she cared about the most.

A surge of fire rose from within. Every fiber of her being told her to run – run far away from Cerberus, run back to the Alliance, back to her home, back to Kaidan. Shepard wanted nothing more than to hand in her resignation then and there. But she couldn't, not when the Collectors were still out there. And the Illusive Man knew just that. For the sake of millions lives out there, Shepard was trapped. She had no choice but to be used as a tool. A four-billion-credit tool.

“I want the Collectors stopped, Shepard. That's why we're doing this, ” the Illusive Man reminded her soothingly. “I'm devoting all resources in finding Omega 4 Relay. We have to hit them where they live. Your team will need to be strong, as will their resolve. There's no looking back. Same goes for you. Can I assume you put your past relationship behind you?”

“None of your damn business!”

“If it affects your mission, better you should leave it behind. Once you've found your way through Omega 4 Relay to the Collector's homeworld, there's no guarantee you'll return. To have any hope of surviving, you and your entire team must be fully committed to this.”

_I'm working with the devil for the sake of humanity, am I not committed enough?_

“I just wanted to be upfront about your odds. You'd need everyone at their best. Keep building your team while I find the relay. And be careful, Shepard, the Collectors are watching you.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

All those bruises and scratches she had accumulated on the surface of Horizon were being ignored. Dirt and cuts on her face remained as she sat by Kaidan's bedside. Chakwas had wanted to patch her up, but Shepard had sent the doctor away for a much deserved break. She wanted to be alone with Kaidan, if only for a short while.

The sedatives had yet to wear off, Kaidan remained unconscious. Shepard didn't know how long she had been sitting there, nor did she know what good she would do holding his hand. All she knew was she wanted to be with him, close to him.

In this quiet med bay, she was not the commander, nor the Spectre who had saved the Citadel. For now, she was just herself, Aerin Shepard – a woman with blood, sweat, and tears. Not a legend without fear, doubt, or pain. In this quiet med bay, alone with the man she loved more than her own life, all the emotions she had been burying in the past weeks threatened to crush the walls she had built around her.

Kaidan was targeted by the Collectors because of her. He almost got kidnapped because of her. He was injured because of her.

All because of her.

“I'm sorry...” she mumbled then pressed her lips gently on his forehead.

It wasn't until now did she realize how much she had missed him. She took her time to study his features and noticed a few faint lines on his face that hadn't been there years ago. Jet-black hair now speckled with a few strands of silver. She ran a finger along one of those lines very gently. “Did you get those because of me? I hope not.”

Shepard sat back, still holding his hand.

“It's been a while since we're alone. Just the two of us,” she started quietly. “There's so much I want to tell you, I don't even know where to start. Things have been pretty crazy. I know you'll hate me for this, but... I'm working with Cerberus. You have to trust me, Kaidan. And if you want to yell at me, if you want me to get the hell out of here, you'll have to wake up and tell me that.”

She paused as though to give him time to protest.

“Nothing, Commander? Then I'll take it as a permission to speak freely, sir.” She added a faint chuckle, trying to lighten her own tone, but it came out shaky. “Hey, remember... Right after I took over the Normandy from Anderson, you came to talk to me that night in the mess hall. I told you one day you'd out-rank me, and when you did, you'd owe me a dinner. Guess who owes me a nice dinner now? You'd better wake up because I'm hungry. I want to go to that place we went for steak and beer back at the Citadel, remember that restaurant you took me to? After that, we could hit the arcade. Still can't believe you won last time. I want a rematch.”

She smiled at the memories of their first date. Or was it the second? Shepard shook her head. None of that mattered. He was here with her, at long last. That's all that mattered to her.

“I really missed talking to you, Kaidan. I missed you.” She swallowed to keep her quiet voice from breaking and brought his hand up to her lips. “l love you, and I need you. I don't know if I can face all these without you. So please, wake up.. _.”_

 

* * *

  
  


Once again, he had dreamed about her, dreamed about saving her, protecting her – the very same thing he had failed to do two years ago that day on the Normandy. But unlike any other dreams, this time he had succeeded. Shepard was safe in his arms in the end.

Kaidan slowly opened his eyes, unwilling to let go of the dream he just had.

“Kaidan...” He heard a voice calling for him – a voice from his dream.

Was he still dreaming or was he awake? Kaidan felt drowsier than he should. He blinked hard to clear his blurry vision and started to notice his surroundings. The ceiling was unfamiliar.

“EDI,” that voice spoke once again, “tell Dr. Chakwas to report back to the med bay.”

He tried to push himself up but his head hurt to much.

“Hey, take it easy.” A hand gently pushed him back onto bed. Then a face came into view. Dark hair, blue eyes, and that sweet smile he knew only reserved for him. The woman that had been in his dreams now appeared in front of him.

“...Aerin?” His heart almost skipped a beat.

“You're safe now,” she told him, stroking the side of his cheek. Her touch was just as tender and warm as ever. “We're on the Normandy.”

Normandy. Commander Shepard. For a brief, hazy moment, he almost believed everything that had happened was nothing but a very long nightmare. The ship was never destroyed, the captain was never dead.

Then Kaidan remembered. Horizon. The battle. And then the fallen tower. This wasn't a dream. And neither was Shepard.

All these weeks knowing she was alive didn't prepare him for this moment.

For the past two years, he had thought she was dead, taken away from him. His heart had been shattered into pieces. Still, time did its job and slowly eased his pain. He thought his wounds had been healed; he thought he had moved on. Until now. Now that she was here in front of him, smiling at him, everything came unraveled.

“How're you feeling?” she asked softly.

_How am I feeling?_ Kaidan didn't even know how to begin. “...I thought you were dead. We all did...”

That sweet smile died. “I was.”

Anger, bitterness, and pain all started to rear their ugly heads. Kaidan had to summon every bit of his strength to remain calm, but it was a losing battle. “Where have you been the past two years? How could you leave me behind just like that?”

“Kaidan--”

It was too much. Everything that had been bottled up exploded all at once. “Do you have any idea what I've been through? I loved you! We were supposed to spend our lives together, damn it, and then... and then you were gone! The escape shuttle arrived and you weren't inside. There wasn't even a body inside that goddamn coffin for your memorial. Thinking you were dead tore me apart! I couldn't stop thinking about things I could have done to save you. That it was my fault for leaving you on the Normandy. If I had stayed behind with you, I could have done something, anything to sav--”

He was silenced by her when she sealed her lips onto his. Her lips were as soft as he remembered, her scent just as sweet and comforting as before. All the words in his mind melted away, all the anger and bitterness dissipated in an instant. She pulled away just as quickly as it had started, leaving him sorely disappointed.

“It's not your fault,” she whispered to him then gave him another kiss before leaning back. “I'm sorry... I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to die like that – all alone, floating in space. There was a tear in my suit, somewhere behind my neck.” She reached behind to where the tear had been, lost in her memories. “I tried to seal it while air being sucked from my lungs. I couldn't breath. The last thing I remember was thinking about you... Next thing I knew, I was lying on an operating table, and two years were gone. My old life was gone. You were gone.” A knot tightened between her brows as her eyes turned slightly red and glassy. “Every night when I close my eyes I can still see the Normandy exploding in front of me. Every time I try to sleep I dream about dying again and again. And sometimes, when I'm alone, I swear I can still hear that horrible hissing noise coming from behind...”

Her words broke his heart. Kaidan reached out to hold her hand in his. He felt so damn guilty for yelling at her.

It was as if his touch had led her away from her waking nightmare. Shepard blinked hard. That faraway look in her eyes was gone. She continued, “I woke up in a lab a few weeks ago. The first thing I wanted to do was to find you.”

“Then why didn't you contact me?” he asked quietly.

Shepard seemed confused for a second. “I did. I sent you a message as soon as I could.”

That didn't seem right. “I didn't hear from you at all.”

Scowling, Shepard mumbled to herself, “Miranda...” She turned back to him. “They must have monitored every single message I send and receive. Someone blocked my email to you.”

“'They', you mean Cerberus...” Deep down, Kaidan had been holding onto the tiniest spark of hope, wishing Shepard would deny all the crazy rumors about her joining the terrorist group.

There was a long pause before she nodded, extinguishing that last ray of hope.

The ugly truth came crushing. His headache was dull comparing to the sharp stab he felt inside. Kaidan dropped her hand like it was a piece of hot iron. “...So it's true...”

“Kaidan, listen--”

Anger returned without warning. “What are you thinking, Aerin? You can't work for Cerberus!”

“It's not what you think. I'm not working _for_ them.”

“Anderson told me they're giving you resources and a ship. What am I supposed to think?”

“It's... complicated. Cerberus found me and rebuilt me. Took them two years. They brought me back to fight a war with the Collectors and the Reapers.”

“Found you? And they just happened to be in that system, that sector to save you? Is that what they told you? That's too convenient, don't you think?”

“You really want to know?” she asked in a frosty tone. “Here's the details: I died, then Liara tracked down my dead body. She stole it from the Shadow Broker, who was paid by the Collectors to retrieve it.”

“The Collectors?”

“They were not the only ones after my body. Cerberus wanted me as well.” A smirk played on her lips, but it was cold. “Who knew a charred body would worth that much?”

From Liara to the Collectors to Cerberus. Everything sounded too preposterous to be truth, yet Kaidan knew Shepard wasn't lying. “Why didn't Liara just hand you back to us?”

“Cerberus made her an offer she couldn't refuse. They had prepared a project to rebuild me.”

“This is insane.” Kaidan tried to wrap his head around everything, but he couldn't make any sense out of it. Cerberus saving Shepard, and Shepard working for them? “Did you forget what Cerberus did? The rachni army they created? The thresher maw experiment on Akuze? The assassination of Admiral Kahoku? We both know what Cerberus is like, what they're capable of!”

“Cerberus consists of many different cells. They are all independent. Those were done by the groups that have nothing to do with mine. I am in charged here. You know I'll do the right thing.”

Kaidan started to wish this was nothing but another nightmare. “Listen to yourself! What have they done to you? Have they brainwashed you?”

”Our colonies are disappearing. The Alliance is turning their back on them. Cerberus is the only group who's willing to do something about it.”

Did she just defend Cerberus? Kaidan scowled and shook his head in disbelief. “You can't really believe that! The Alliance isn't turning their back on the colonists. I was sent to investigate on this matter. Those are lies Cerberus has been feeding you. Wake up and see the truth, Aerin.”

“I know the truth, Kaidan.” Her voice was sharpened by a notch. “The truth is: We've all been played! The intel Anderson gave you about Horizon? The rumors that I'm alive? Those were leaked by the Illusive Man himself!”

“What?”

“I just found out. The Illusive Man used you as a bait. He knew the Collectors would come after you to get to me. So he leaked the intel about Horizon and my involvement with Cerberus, knowing exactly what Anderson would do. And he was right. Anderson sent you to Horizon, because of me, because of us. And that son of a bitch sent me there just in time before the Collectors arrived. If we were an hour late, I would have lost you!”

“...Unbelievable.” He looked at her in exasperation. “After all these, and you still want to stay with Cerberus?”

Shepard didn't answer. Icy silence settled between them, but neither of them was willing to look away from each other. He noticed a slight shift in her eyes. The change was subtle, but Kaidan knew her too well. Behind her stoic front, Shepard was struggling.

When she finally spoke, her voice was strained, “...I don't want to, but I have to.”

She was silently crying for help, Kaidan could almost hear it. He needed to reach out to the Aerin hidden behind the commander. Then maybe, just maybe, she would come back to him. “You don't have to--”

Suddenly, the door to the med bay slid open. Kaidan swallowed a curse at the intrusion.

Another woman he hadn't seen in a while walked in. “It's good to see you again, Kaidan,” said Dr. Chakwas.

“Dr. Chakwas?” Kaidan looked at the gray-haired woman in mild surprise, then he recalled what Anderson had told him. Joker, Chakwas, and Garrus had all joined Shepard. And he also remembered the councilor's warning: Don't join Cerberus.

“Commander, if I may.” The doctor motioned towards him.

“We'll talk later,” Shepard told him in a brisk tone with her commander mask snapped right back on. She gave Chakwas a nod then exited the med bay.

Without her, Kaidan suddenly felt cold.

 

* * *

  
Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

Alenko was on board the Normandy, much to Miranda's dismay. This mission was too important to be jeopardized by Shepard's irrational emotions. Judging from the way Shepard had almost thrown her life away to save his, Alenko had to go. Miranda made a mental note to update the Illusive Man on the unexpected turn of events, but a report could wait for a few more minutes. First, she needed a drink.

Miranda barely had time to pour herself a glass of wine when Shepard stormed into her office, still in her armor minus her gloves, with untreated cuts on her face. Miranda frowned at Shepard's condition. The commander should have more than enough time to clean up by now, so why was she...

And then Miranda knew the answer: Alenko.

“Did you block my email to Kaidan?” asked the commander before Miranda could even say a word.

So she had finally figured it out. As easy as it would be to deny the accusation, playing dumb right now would be an insult to both of their intelligence. Miranda decided to be honest. “I did.”

“Why did you do that?” Shepard's voice was as sharp as a knife.

“I knew Alenko would be a distraction to our mission.”

“So that's it?” Shepard scowled, glaring at her XO. “Because you thought he's a 'distraction'? You've no right to do that!”

“It's my job to make sure you succeed,” Miranda reminded her. “And I was doing exactly what it's needed to be done.”

“That is crossing the line! You don't even know Kaidan.”

“I knew he wouldn't join us. I read his dossier--”

“Kaidan is NOT a dossier!”

“But I was right.” Miranda held Shepard's fiery gaze coolly. “He'll never join us. He'll never give up his life for you anymore, Shepard. He has a girlfriend.”

For the longest time, Shepard just stood there, as still as a statue. Her face turned pale, her eyes grew wide. Miranda almost felt bad for delivering the news. Perhaps that was cruel, but it had to be done. Her job was not to coddle Shepard but to help her to succeed. And to succeed, Shepard had to get rid of her emotional baggage.

At long last, as if words had finally sunk in, Shepard moved. Her frown tightened, her eyes narrowed. “...What did you say?” the commander asked in almost a whisper.

“You heard what I said.”

“How did you even know that?” Shepard was desperately grasping at the last straw, hoping that the intel was wrong. Miranda could see right through that.

It was time to cut Shepard's tie to her past, and Miranda was never one to leave a job half-done. “I have my sources. If you don't believe me, go ask him.”

Shepard remained deadly quiet. Her eyes snapped shut, her lips thinned.

“I suggest you stay focus, Shepard,” she told the commander, delivering a much-needed wake up call for her. “If we can't stop the Collectors, sooner or later they will get to Alenko again. And next time, you won't be there to save him.”

That hit a nerve. She noticed Shepard's hands balled into fists, trembling. She considered offering the commander a glass of wine. Shepard needed it; they both did.

“Don't ever interrupt my messages again,” Shepard warned in a chilling tone.

Miranda kept her icy composure with practiced ease. “I did what I had to for our mission. And I'll do it again if I have to.”

“Don't make me repeat myself. That's an order!” With that, Shepard stormed out of her office.

Miranda sank onto her chair with a tired sigh. More so than ever, she wished she had installed a control chip inside Shepard. She had done all she could to prevent this disastrous reunion, but it would seem she had merely delayed the inevitable. For people like Shepard and herself, relationship was a luxury they couldn't afford. They had no time or energy for the heartbreak that came with the entire package. Shepard should have known better.

With the fate of humanity riding on her shoulders, Miranda could only wish Shepard would be able to bounce back soon, or else the entire humanity might have to pay the price for her broken heart.

  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge

  
  


_Shit._

The word 'fear' was never in Jeff Moreau's dictionary. Dropping a mako with less than twenty meters clearance? Spearheading a frontal assault on a Reaper? All done without breaking a sweat. Yet, when he saw Shepard heading to the cockpit through the monitor, he began to had a taste of what fear might be.

Except for a few restricted areas such as the bathrooms and the captain's cabin, Joker had eyes and ears all around the ship. Such was the perk of being the pilot. With those eyes and ears, he just had the pleasure of witnessing a showdown in Miranda's office – the Boss vs. the Ice Queen.

Finally, those two women had come head to head, as he had expected it since day one. After all, one castle could never hold two queens. And from their argument, he had learned yet another breaking news: Alenko was dating someone, and that someone wasn't Shepard.

Ouch.

Just like his new baby, Joker also used to have eyes and ears around his first love, the SR-1. And he was proud to say he had witnessed the budding romance between the commander and the then-lieutenant. While fraternization wasn't really his cup of tea, Joker was happy for them.

But now...

A glance at the monitor told him Shepard was fast approaching.

“Oh shit...” Joker cursed under his breath. “Here she comes. EDI, not a word.”

“Understood, Mr. Moreau,” said the AI.

Footsteps stopped, but the usual 'hey Joker' was glaringly missing. He could smell the shit storm brewing right behind him.

_Shit!_

With a charming smile plastered on his face, Joker turned his chair around as casually as he could. Shepard could be pretty hot when she smiled, but right now, her face looked so cold it might as well be carved from a block of ice. Those piercing blue eyes of hers had an intensity that could cut a hole on the Normandy floor. Joker swore he would have died from stab wounds if the commander had bothered to look directly at him.

_Shit shit shit!_

“Hey Commander. It's er... pretty crazy the people you can run into out here, huh?” He turned his easy charm on all the way to the max. “I mean, it's probably a set up or something, it's still good to see Kaidan. Staff Commander Alenko, wasn't it?”

Shepard didn't answer to that.

Joker cleared his throat and continued, “You know, maybe I should give him a tour of our ship. He would love all the upgrades we have. That's not against the protocols, is that? I mean, do we even have protocols? It's technically a civilian ship.”

Shepard ignored all that, instead she asked, “Is everyone aboard?” Her deadly calm voice made her even scarier.

Joker was smart enough to know when to shut the hell up. “Yes, ma'am. Shuttle docked twenty minutes ago. All present and accounted for.”

“Set a course to the Citadel. Send a message to Anderson, tell him we've retrieved Alenko and we're bringing him back.”

“Right away.”

He waited until Shepard was out of earshot before letting out a huge breath and mumbled to himself, “And that's why I never date someone in uniform.”

A holographic globe popped up on his left. “What is the correlation between fraternization and outfit?” asked EDI.

“Well, if you date someone in uniform and things turn south, you might still have to work with them, and that'd be super awkward--” Joker stopped himself and threw a sideways glance at the blue globe. “Why am I even explaining this to you?”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

Shepard stood in the shower, unmoving. Scotching water ran down from her head through her body. For once, she didn't care about wasting ship resources.

No matter how many times she had told herself Miranda had lied to her, deep down, Shepard knew her XO was telling the truth. And the truth hit her harder than anything Harbinger had thrown at her down on the surface of Horizon. It paralyzed her. No amount of upgrades could shield her from a broken heart. No amount of implants could stop the pain inside.

Two year. What she had lost was more than just time, but the man she loved, the future they were supposed to share.

Once upon a time, she had opened up to Kaidan, she had relied on him both on battlefields and off. He had been her ear, her brain, and most of all, her shoulder. Once upon a time, they had planned for the future, near and far. A trip to Earth, to his home, and even a lifetime together.

But all these were taken away from her. Her dreams, her plans, her life, all stolen away from her in that accident two years ago.

To her, those two years felt no longer than a long nap. But to him, it had been a living hell. She should be happy for him that he was able to move on, to live a life that he deserved, even though it was a life without her. But why did it still hurt like hell?

Because she was selfish, too damn selfish to be happy for the man she loved, so unbelievably weak that she was defeated by the news that he had moved on without her.

Shepard had never hated herself more.

She smashed the button of the control. Water stopped at her command. Steam rose to the ceiling as she stood motionlessly. Water dripped from her hair, into her eyes, then trickled down her face. That's just water, she told herself despite the lump in her throat. Water, not tears.

Pushing her hair off her face, Shepard stepped towards the sink. With the heel of her palm, she wiped away the steam on the mirror and took a good look at herself. For a fraction of a second, she didn't recognize the woman staring back at her with bloodshot eyes. Her scars, though starting to fade, still had a hint of an eerie glow underneath the skin, reminding her of the stark reality: Things had changed, and so had she.

She was no longer the same Shepard, and Kaidan was no longer hers.

She had lost him.

 

* * *

 

A/N: The chapter was too long so I cut it in two parts. The Shenko confrontation is not over. Stay tune. I've been waiting for a year to write this few chapters. So I'm excited, and nervous. Hopefully I'd be able to hit all the right notes and bring what has been brewing inside my head onto paper-- I mean your screen.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for all your support!

Title of the chapter refers to a poem by Rabindranath Tagore, “The Furthest Distance in the World”.

_The furthest distance in the world_  
Is not the distance between life and death  
But you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you  
But I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly  
But I can only bury it in my heart dispute the unbearable yearning  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not I can only bury it in my heart dispute the unbearable yearning  
But we cannot be together when we love each other 

– a poem by Rabindranath Tagore


	16. The Furthest Distance in the World - Part 2

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 15: The Furthest Distance in the World – Part 2

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

“Everything looks fine,” said Dr. Chakwas as she powered off her omni-tool. “You'll still feel drowsy for a little longer. You should rest until we dock.”

“Thanks.” Kaidan got out of the bed and put on his shirt. Out of the old Normandy crew, he'd missed Chakwas the most – well, beside the captain. It was good to see the doctor again.

“Jacob told me they'd retrieved your belongings,” said the doctor. “He already put them in the commander's quarters.”

“Jacob?” Kaidan faintly remembered Shepard calling for someone with that name moments before he had passed out.

“Jacob Taylor, our armory officer. He was in charged of security in the facility where the commander was rebuilt. The Lazarus Project. Miranda Lawson was the head of that project, and now she's the commander's executive officer.”

“Lazarus...” Kaidan mumbled to himself. “Raise from the dead.”

The doctor nodded. “Quite literally. The commander had been dead for a while when they started the project. I read through the files Miranda provided. The project was absolutely groundbreaking – and costly. Cerberus spared no expense in bringing Shepard back. Sadly, that's not something the Alliance would do, even if they could.”

Kaidan knew the doctor was right. Even if Liara had turned Shepard's body over to the Alliance, no one would ever consider reviving a dead soldier, not even for someone as valuable as the commander. His curiosity overrode his distaste for the terrorist group, Kaidan now wondered how Cerberus had managed to pull a medical miracle.

Just when Kaidan was about to ask the details of the project, a middle-aged man in Cerberus uniform came in with two trays and announced, “Chowtime.”

“This is our mess sergeant, Rupert Gardner,” Chakwas told Kaidan.

“Your salad, Doc,” said the sergeant as he put one of them on the desk. “You gotta eat some meat, I'm telling ya.”

“Thank you, Rupert.” The doctor smiled at his advice. “I did have some meat for lunch. Your wonderful sandwich.”

The sergeant wag a finger with his free hand. “Not enough, if you ask me. Anyway, this one is special ordered for our guest.” Gardner waved at the tray in his hand with pride. “Steak sandwich, grilled to perfection, ordered by the boss herself.”

Kaidan was not only surprised by the friendliness of the Cerberus man, but also by the sandwich itself.

Gardner put his creation down and continued, “It's the first time the commander ordered something that's not on the menu. And she's very specific with the way she wanted it cook, down to how much cream and sugar in the coffee. Guess you're our special guest, huh? You're lucky we just stopped by Illium and have a full stock.”

Kaidan had to hide a smile. Shepard didn't have to go out of her way for him, but she had. And it's little things like this that touched him more than anything else. “Thank you, Sergeant. Looks great.” He never thought he would thank anyone from Cerberus. But here he was, having a friendly chat with one of them.

“Tastes even better,” the sergeant promised him with a proud grin. “Trust me, I know. I made myself an extra one.”

A sudden pounding on the window to the mess hall outside caught their attention. Kaidan saw a krogan pressing his face close to the glass to peek inside the med bay.

“Hey, Gardner,” the krogan called out, his voice booming through the window. “Got anything to eat?”

“And there's our resident krogan, Grunt,” the sergeant told Kaidan, ignoring the call for the moment. “He's gonna finish half of our supply in one night if we let him.”

Grunt pounded on the window again. “I'm hungry!”

“I'm coming!” Gardner yelled back at the krogan then grumbled to himself as he exit the med bay, “Back to work.”

Curious, Kaidan approached the window to have a glimpse of Shepard's new Normandy for the very first time. The first thing Kaidan noticed was the size of the ship; it was bigger than the old one. The layout reminded him of the SR-1 living quarters. But, unlike the SR-1, this ship provided civilian-graded accommodations with a full-sized kitchen right across from the med bay.

The crew outside moved about just like they would in any other ships. If their uniforms were different, it could have been a scene inside the newest Alliance prototype vessel.

But those weren't Alliance people out there, Kaidan had to remind himself. They were Cerberus.

Yet, they all seemed so... normal. The mess sergeant he had just met even seemed nice. Why would these people knowingly worked for a terrorist group? Even Joker and Chakwas had joined them.

“You must be hungry,” said the doctor, motioning at the empty chair to invite him to dinner. “Come, join me.”

Kaidan sat down and reached for the coffee cup on his tray. He paused and stared at the cup after just one sip.

“Something wrong with the coffee?” asked Chakwas.

“Nothing. It's... perfect.”

“Of course it is. She knows you.” The doctor gave him a kind teasing smile.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” said Chakwas. “I'm sure you have a lot of questions on your mind.”

Kaidan didn't know how else to ask a burning question inside his head but to approach it directly. “Why did you leave the Alliance? You're stationed at Mars, weren't you?”

“Yes. The Mars Naval Medical Center. A very respectable position, but it wasn't a starship, Kaidan. I've spent most of my life on warships, never knowing what the next mission might bring. I'm used to the hum of engines, the creaking bulkheads, that subtle vertigo when the momentum dampeners kick in. Life planet-side is just too static, too boring.”

Kaidan knew what she meant. He, too, missed being on a ship. The camaraderie back on the original Normandy was something Kaidan missed the most.

“You've been with the Alliance all these years,” Kaidan said. “You could have asked for any post you want. Why did you walk away just like that?”

There was more than a hint of sly glint in the doctor's bright green eyes. “Technically, I'm still with the Alliance. I've got a proper leave of absence from my post at Mars. Consider this a personal side project during my sabbatical.”

“But you're working for Cerberus.”

“I'm not working for Cerberus, Kaidan,” Chakwas corrected him patiently. “I'm working for Shepard – on a mission that may be crucial to survival of the human race. A lot of our crew signed up because of the commander. We believe in her. We believe she can take care of the Collectors and the Reapers, and we're here to help her.”

Yes, Shepard had that special charm that made people follow her to hell and back. Kaidan knew it too well.

“I understand your reservations,” said the doctor in a motherly tone. “About Cerberus, and perhaps even about the commander. I won't vouch for Cerberus, but Aerin... I trust her completely. The kind of trauma Aerin endured would have changed most people, but not her. The commander hasn't changed. She is still the Shepard we all know and love. And I have faith her dealings with Cerberus will be ethical. Talk to her, Kaidan, and you'll see for yourself.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Mess Hall

 

At the table in the mess hall, her team gathered around for a well-earned break and shared a much-needed meal. Miranda was missing, though Shepard wasn't surprised. Zaeed was telling yet another story of his. Shepard leaned back on the chair without hearing a word of Zaeed's adventure. Her mind was somewhere else.

Glancing up from the coffee cup she had been holding, Shepard could see the inside of the med bay through the windows. Just an hour ago, she had stayed in there, refusing to leave. And now, she was out here, reluctant to enter.

A hand landed on her shoulder. Startled, Shepard sat up straight and found Garrus looking at her with a questioning gaze.

“I know what we have here isn't exactly gourmet food,” said Garrus, “but shouldn't you at least eat something?”

“Not hungry,” said Shepard dismissively.

Garrus peeked inside her cup. “And since when do you drink black coffee?”

“Hm?” It was then Shepard realized what she had been sipping mindlessly. She frowned at the dark liquid that had already turned cold. What the hell was she doing?

“Still thinking about that bastard on Horizon? What's his name... Harbinger?” asked Garrus.

While he wasn't entirely wrong, Harbinger was only one of many things that were weighing on her mind.

“Don't let him get to you,” Garrus told her. “We'll find him and we'll kill him, like we hunted down Saren.”

“With Saren, we had leads. This time, I don't even know he looks like. Is he a leader of the Collectors?” Shepard cautiously lowered her voice before she continued, “The one who paid the Shadow Broker for my dead body?”

“We'll find out sooner or later. When we find that bastard, the killshot is yours. But it wouldn't do you any good if you starved yourself to death before we could take him down.” He motioned at his own plate. “My dinner is not bad, and I wouldn't mind sharing it with you, but there's this slight problem called food poisoning.”

Shepard snorted and gave him a smirk for his sake. Garrus could be so surprisingly endearing. “I'll eat later,” she assured him.

“Commander,” Chakwas called for her at the doorstep of the med bay.

Shepard knew she couldn't dodge any longer. She gave her turian twin an affectionate soft punch on his shoulder and left the table.

_He has a girlfriend,_ Miranda's voice rang inside her head as Shepard stepped closer and closer to the med bay. _If you don't believe me, go ask him._

“Kaidan's free to go,” the doctor told her when she approached. “He'll remain drowsy for a while until the medication wears off. He needs some rest, otherwise, he's fine.”

“Thanks.” Shepard took a silent deep breath and walked into the med bay.

_Go ask him._

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

When Kaidan saw Shepard again, the dirt and dried blood on her face had been washed off, leaving behind fresh cuts that had no doubt come from the battles on Horizon – cuts that seemed to glow in red underneath her skin.

Kaidan couldn't help but take a closer look.

“I don't know why my scars glow like that,” said Shepard without him asking.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to--”

She waved a dismissive hand. “When I first woke up, even my eyes glowed red. Freaked me out the first time I saw myself in the mirror. Didn't know what Cerberus did to me – well, still don't. All I knew was I was breathing, but I was alone in the enemy's territory, and I was alive because of them.”

That broke his heart. “Hey, you didn't ask Cerberus to revive you. You had no choice.”

Her gaze softened. “Someone sabotaged the facility I was in, trying to kill me – again – before I could recover completely. Only three people got out alive, and I was one of them. A lot people died that day, and they were there because of me, because I was the project they had spent two years working on...” She trailed off with a frown; guilt was written all over her face.

Kaidan didn't know what to say, but he knew he wanted to hug her. No, he needed to hug her.

But before he could take a step closer, Shepard looked him straight in the eye and continued, “So, yes, Cerberus saved my life, twice. But that's not the reason why I'm still with them. If you're willing to listen, I'll explain.”

“Look, about just now... I'm sorry for what I said.”

“It's okay. You've the right to be angry. Hell, if I were you, I would have demanded a shuttle to get off the enemy's ship.”

“You're not my enemy.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “You sure?”

“Absolutely.” _I love you._ “I have problems with Cerberus, but not with you.”

Shepard studied him for a second. “So, we're good?”

“Come here...” He stepped close to her then pulled her in his arms. “We're good.”

That simple gesture had generated the most unexpected response. Shepard tensed up and froze for a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around him. And when she did, everything faded away in an instant. Cerberus, Alliance, Collectors, Reapers, nothing else mattered to him but her. He could feel her heart thumping, her breath tickling his neck. This was not one of his dreams. She was real; this was real.

“...I shouldn't...” he heard her mumbled very quietly before she pulled away and stepped back.

“What?” He looked at her, confused and disappointed.

She didn't meet his gaze, but he could see the struggle behind her eyes.

“What's wrong?” Kaidan asked.

“Nothing.” With just one blink, the commander mask was back on, and Shepard had retreated back to her comfort zone. “Ready to get out of here?”

Puzzled by her sudden change, Kaidan could only nod. “Yeah.”

“I'd give you a tour to the ship, but I think we should talk first,” said Shepard as she led him out of the med bay.

At the mess hall table a group had gathered around, including the krogan Kaidan had seen and a familiar face.

“Garrus?”

Garrus waved from the table. “Good to see you again, Kaidan.”

Shepard, however, didn't stop for any pleasantries. Kaidan only had time to give his former teammate a nod before following the commander down the hall.

“We're heading back to the Citadel,” Shepard announced. “I've already told Anderson you're with me. He's expecting us.”

“I'd sent him a message about the attack just before I met you.”

“Good. That should give him enough time to come up with a plan,” said Shepard as they waited for the elevator. “My team have dealt with the remaining Collectors. We only managed to save half of the colony. Most of the colonists were still paralyzed when my team left the surface, but they're all expected to recover soon enough.”

Kaidan frowned at the memories. “I saw the Collectors trying to abduct the colonists. It was horrible. The victims were conscious but they couldn't move. I could only save a few of them while on my way to the tower. Wish I could save them all.”

“You were just one man. There's an entire army of them.”

Kaidan followed her into the elevator. “And if you hadn't arrived in time, I would have been taken as well. Thanks, Aerin. I owe you one.”

“You don't. You were in danger because of me.” Shepard press a button labeled Deck 1.

Kaidan glanced at the panel. “Five levels? How big is your ship?”

“Almost twice the mass of the SR-1.”

He raised an eyebrow at the answer. Just how deep was Cerberus' pocket? Kaidan had to wonder.

“So tell me, how did you survive seeker swarms?” asked Shepard.

He shrugged. “Biotics. I knocked down as many of those bugs as I could, then kept my shield on the whole time. They couldn't penetrate my biotic shield as easily, especially when I kept running.”

“Impressive.”

“Not really. More than a bit of dumb luck was involved.” Kaidan was glad to find a hint of smirk played on her lips as her commander mask started to slip. “What about you? How did you get by?”

“Mordin made some modifications on our armors. We became invisible to the seeker swarms. I'm going to pass this counter-measure on to Anderson. The Alliance needs to be prepared.”

Chakwas was right, Shepard hadn't changed. She was still Aerin he remembered.

The elevator stopped. They headed down to the only room at the end of the short hallway. The door opened and revealed the largest private cabin he had ever seen on a warship, and certainly the most luxurious. There was built-in fish tank along the wall – although it was empty. And right above the desk in the office area was a display for model ships.

Kaidan let out a low whistle unconsciously. “I hate to say this, but Cerberus sure knows how to build a ship.”

“You can stay here,” Shepard told him as she walked walked passed the office and into the living area a few steps below. “The lower decks could get noise and bright, not good for your migraine. The shower is nice and hot. And the bed is even more comfortable than it looks. Make yourself at home.”

Kaidan took a curious detour towards the display rack and smiled. So, the legendary commander collected model ships. It's rather adorable, though not at all surprising. After all, Shepard had spent more than half of her life on one ship or another, even her first breath had been taken onboard an Alliance vessel.

“I'm surprised you didn't use the display rack for your guns,” Kaidan commented teasingly as he browsed through her collection. From the Destiny Ascension, to an Alliance cruiser, to a turian one. He recognized a very familiar model: SSV Normandy SR-1. Next to it was a similar yet bigger ship, that must be the new Normandy, the ship he was currently on.

“I'd thought about it,” Shepard admitted. “But I have to use my guns everyday. All of them.”

“Because you can never have too many weapons,” he finished her line of logic for her.

Shepard chuckled lightly. “You know me.”

_Yeah, and I'm glad I still do..._ As he stepped away, something else caught his attention. On her desk was a picture frame, within it was his own picture, one from more than two years ago.

This discovery simultaneously warmed and broke his heart. For weeks, she had been alone dealing with Cerberus, all she had with her was a picture of him. He should have been here for her, his heart told him. But his mind disagreed; he should have rescued her from that Cerberus facility and brought her back to the Alliance, back to where she belonged.

Perhaps it wasn't too late for a second chance – a chance to set things right.

 

* * *

 

When she noticed Kaidan was looking at something on her desk, Shepard winced inwardly. She had forgotten to put his picture away.

“It's already there when I first came aboard the ship,” Shepard explained while retrieving a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses from a hidden cabinet. “I don't know how they found out about us, but they did.”

“So did Anderson,” said Kaidan as he joined her in the living area. He seemed to be amused by the situation. “Guess we didn't hide it as well as we thought we had.”

“Doesn't matter now.” It's all in the past.

“You make a habit of inviting all your guests to stay in your quarters?” he asked teasingly, sitting down next to her.

That tiny little smirk he gave her had the same effect on her as it'd had two years ago. Shepard looked away after catching herself staring. “The only other man who has set foot in here is Garrus.” She didn't know why she even bothered telling him this. “He was here to remove all the bugs Cerberus had planted in this room.”

Kaidan frowned. “They're spying on you? Even in your own room?”

Shepard snorted. “Welcome to my life.” She handed him a shot. “Here, you need this. I'm sure your mind has been spinning faster than the speed of light.”

He chuckled and accepted the drink. “Thanks. You know me.”

_Do I? I'm not sure anymore..._

Kaidan drained his shot quietly. When he spoke again, his voice became soft and quiet, “Leave Cerberus and come back to the Alliance. We can face this together.”

The offer was tempting, so tempting that in fact she wanted nothing more than to say yes. But Shepard shook her head. “I can't. I'm sorry. I want to but I can't. I have to stop the Collectors. Millions of lives are at stake. I've to win this war.”

“And the Alliance can't win?”

“No, they can't,” Shepard replied bluntly. “Not when they can't even spare the resources to look into the abductions. They're not ready for another war, and you know it.”

Kaidan didn't answer. He didn't have to.

“I have the resources to fight, Kaidan,” Shepard continued. “You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting only human colonies, and they are working for the Reapers.”

“Cerberus could be using the threat of the Reapers to manipulate you, Aerin,” Kaidan countered. “The Illusive Man has already played us all. What if they're behind all these? What if they're working for the Collectors?”

“Cerberus spent a lot of money to rebuild me just to fight the Collectors and the Reapers. Why would they do that if they're working for them?”

“They saved your life, but that doesn't mean you can't ignore all the horrible things they've done.”

“I'm not ignoring those – the experiments, the assassination, everything we saw two years ago. But that's a score I've to settle once this is all over. For now, taking down the Collectors is my first priority.”

Kaidan went silent. Shepard knew he was thinking, digesting all the information that was too hard to swallow.

She continued, “Even with Mordin's countermeasure for the seeker swarms and the turrets, we don't have time to arm every human colony across the galaxy. They're all sitting ducks. When the Collectors come, you saw what happened. We have to get rid of the Collectors once and for all.”

“We do, but working with Cerberus? It doesn't feel right, Aerin.” He shook his head. “Does Hackett know?”

“Anderson told him. He couldn't help.”

“We lost too many people and ships fighting Sovereign. And the recruitment rate has been dropping because of the Geth.”

“Even if we have an army of recruits, they're too green. We don't have time to train them. People are missing.”

“What about the Citadel Council?”

“The Council isn't going to do a thing, they made that very clear. They want me to stay in the Terminus Systems and out of their sights.”

“There's got to be a better way.”

“There's no other way, Kaidan. More people will be taken by the Collectors if I go back to the Alliance and wait for them to act. You know how the brass work. Presenting evidence, then hearings upon hearings just to prove the enemies exist.”

“Do you remember what I told you about cutting corners? You are doing that, and you know where it could lead to if you're not careful.”

“I know what I am getting into, and I'm willing to take the risk to save lives. I can't sit back and watch the world burn just because I'm afraid to cross some lines. Remember the risk we had to take when we stole the Normandy to go after Saren? Treason? Mutiny? But we had to do it because it was the right thing to do, or else the galaxy would be gone.” Shepard never looked away from him. Her eyes softened, almost pleading. “Kaidan, You know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason.”

Kaidan shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I am using Cerberus' resources to fight the Collectors, nothing more nothing less,” she assured him. “You of all people should know what I'm about. Please, trust me.”

He looked straight at her. There was not a hint of anger, only concern. “I trust you, Aerin, but I don't trust Cerberus. I'm worried about you. It's dangerous for you to stick around.”

“They won't do anything to me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I cost them four billion credits.”

“Four...”

“Billion.”

“...Wow.” He sat back.

“Yeah... And I don't even know how much it cost them to build this ship.”

“You're worth every single credit. But still, it's not safe here. Cerberus managed to play Anderson and manipulated the official intel. Who knows what they will do to you?”

“If I don't do this, people will die by the thousands.”

For the longest time, they merely looked at each other, none said a word. They both knew she was right, but for him to accept it, it was another matter. Shepard could see the struggle behind his stoic front, how he tried to make sense of it all.

“Can you even trust Cerberus team to watch your back?” he asked eventually.

“They gave me a ship and a full crew, but I've to go recruit a team for the mission. You saw most of them just now in the mess hall.”

“Yeah, I saw Garrus too.”

“I didn't know the turian sniper on the dossier was him. Bailed him out of a sticky situation and hauled his injured ass back on the Normandy.”

“Sounds familiar.”

Shepard had a feeling the outcome would be different. “While your name's not on the list handed to me, I'd been looking for you ever since I got out of that facility. At first, I was hoping you would join me. There's nothing I want more than to have you by my side again.”

Kaidan didn't answer. And Shepard knew why.

“But...” she continued quietly. “I won't ask you to join me. I can't. No matter how much I want you to stay with me, I don't have the right to ask you to leave your post at the Alliance for me. And I don't have the heart to hurt you anymore than I already did...” she trailed off and swallowed hard.

There was a long pause before he said quietly, “You are right. A lot of things have changed in the past two years, and I can't just put that aside.”

_A lot of things have changed..._ She was afraid to ask, but she had to know. “...Have you?”

Silence settled between them, although he never looked away from her. “I don't know,” said Kaidan, shaking his head. “Took me two years to get over my guilt for surviving, but I was finally able to move on with my life. Or I thought I did.”

“Who is she?” Shepard heard herself asking quietly to a question she wasn't even sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“What?” Kaidan froze at her question, first because of confusion, then because of realization. “How did you...”

Miranda was right, Shepard's heart dropped to her stomach. “Doesn't matter.”

“It's not like that,” he clarified quickly. “I mean, it's nothing serious. My friends have been convincing me to go out for drinks, just trying to let myself have a life again, you know. I went out with her a only few times--”

“So, who is she?” she repeated, bracing herself for the inevitable stab.

“...A doctor at the Citadel.”

“A doctor, huh?” said Shepard in a whisper, forcing a smile to cover a wince. “Good for you.”

“Aerin, listen. I thought you were dead--” He moved closer, reaching out to her.

Shepard scooted back, retreating. “I understand.” _No, I don't, and I don't want to!_

Shepard stood from the couch and approached the fish tank in a daze.She'd thought she'd gotten all her grief out of her system, she'd thought she was prepared for this moment, but she was wrong.Hearing the truth from him hurt more than she had ever expected.

She had to cut her ties with him, no matter how much it hurt. Cerberus had used Kaidan once, they would use him again. Shepard would not allow that to happen. _You have hurt him enough, Shepard. Let him go._

“I _was_ dead and you should move on,” she told him, trying her best to keep her voice steady, but it was a losing battle. “Two years... that's a long time. I'm glad you've started a new life.”

She heard quiet footsteps behind her. _Don't come any closer._

“I thought I've moved on, but after knowing you're alive, after seeing you... I don't know.”

She took a deep breath to armor herself and turned to face him once more. “You deserve a new life. A better life with someone who would never hurt you. Can't imagine what you have been through the past two years. Must have been hell. I...” _I love you, and I need you_.“I'm sorry.”

“Don't say that.”

The pain on his face was too much for her, Shepard had to shut her eyes to compose herself. She swallowed hard to push back a lump in her throat back before she could continue, “I'm sorry I died. I'm sorry I hurt you.” _I'm sorry I've lost you._

Shepard felt his hand on her cheek. She knew she should step back, she should put a distance between them, but she let him.

“Aerin, look at me.” His voice was almost hypnotic.

She did as she was told.

His gaze was tender, so was his tone. “You're here, that's all that matters.” For the second time, he pulled her in his arms.

Against her will, her arms sneaked behind his back and held onto him for her dear life. His warmth, his touch, his scent, all brought back memories of some intimate moments she would rather forget right now. She felt him nuzzling against her neck, just like the way he used to do. His breath tickled her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. As much as she wanted to grab him and kiss him then and there, she couldn't. She wouldn't allow herself to. He had a new life, and it wasn't with her.

Shepard forced herself to push him away. She had to fight with every muscle in her body to keep herself from falling back into his arms.

Her self-control was at the brink of breaking. The emotional floodgate which she had just barricaded now crumbled into pieces. She knew if she looked into his eyes, if she allowed herself to notice the way he was looking at her, she would have to give into a desire she had been trying hard to bury. She wanted to hold him and kiss him, to feel him and love him. Even if it's just for one night, for one last time.

_He's not yours anymore. Let him go, Shepard. Let. Him. Go._

“...I should go.” Shepard announced then turned to leave. “The room is yours. Get some rest.”

“You don't have to leave. You look exhausted.”

She was beyond exhausted; she couldn't fight against herself for another second longer. Shepard headed for the door and refused to look back. “Yes, I have to.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Main Battery

 

Shepard was the last person Garrus had expected to see when the door opened behind him.

“Mind if I clean your rifle?” asked Shepard.

“Huh?” Garrus wondered about her rather odd request. “Uh... Go ahead.”

The commander took his sniper rifle off the table and began to disassemble it piece by piece. Garrus had always kept his weapons with him instead of turning them to the armory for Jacob to maintain. His rifles were his pride and joy. There was only one person in the galaxy he would allow to touch his precious collection, and that person was now cleaning his gun.

“I thought you're with Kaidan,” said Garrus.

“He needs to rest,” said Shepard as she began her work. Her cleaning ritual had always been as impeccable as his own. Garrus knew his gun was in good hands.

“That was some impressive biotic display,” Garrus commented, recalling how the biotic had saved the commander. “It's good to have Kaidan with us.”

With her back facing him, Garrus couldn't see Shepard's expression. But he noticed a momentary pause in her hands before she continued wiping down the parts. “Kaidan isn't coming with us.”

That was unexpected. “He's not?”

There was long silence before Shepard spoke again, “No.”

“But you're here--”

Shepard saved him the trouble and clarified, “He's seeing someone else.”

_Oh, crap!_ Garrus tried to search for something to say but came up empty. He was romantically impaired; it'd be easier for him to snipe a varren while riding on the back of a thresher maw than to console Shepard. But still, this woman was the best friend he'd had in many years, he had to say something.

“His loss.” Garrus almost winced at those finely chosen words.

“Is it?” asked Shepard. “It's better for him to cut all ties with me. For his own sake.”

“What do you mean?”

Shepard turned to face him. “Horizon was a setup, Garrus. I just found out.”

“What?” Now, even he couldn't see that twist coming.

“The Illusive Man used Kaidan as a bait to lure in the Collectors to attack.”

That piqued his curiosity. “Why Kaidan?”

“Because of me. The Illusive Man suspected the Collectors would have an interest in me for killing Sovereign. He was the one who fed intel to the Alliance about me and about the Collectors. He knew the Alliance would send Kaidan to investigate.”

“And if the Collectors were really interested in you, what better way to lure you to a trap than to capture the man you love...” he finished quietly under his breath, then to his horror, noticed the terrible misuse of word. “Ahem, your former teammate.”

He knew she heard him, but she let him slide. “That bastard risked the lives of that entire colony and Kaidan just to lure the Collectors there. Those people were abducted because of his plan.”

“You did everything you could, Aerin. We arrived in time to save half of the colony and Kaidan.”

“Now you sound like the Illusive Man.” She gave him a look and returned to her cleaning ritual.

“Sometimes, we can't save everyone. When turians go to war, it's considered a victory even if there's only one left standing at the end. But when humans go to war, they want everyone to be alive. That's not possible, we both know that.”

“Doesn't matter how hard we fight, we can't save everyone. Yeah, I know that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.”

“We fight to make sure there will be survivors. It's all we can do, Aerin. Because if we don't...” he trailed off.

“They'll all die,” Shepard filled in the blank as she reassembled the gun. “And I can't let people die just because I hate the man who funds this mission.”

“Fighting is what you are good at, and where you can make a difference. Doesn't matter what uniform you're wearing, you are still the same Shepard. And those people you save won't give a damn who pays for your shiny new guns.”

“Kaidan asked me to go back to the Alliance. But I can't. I've been with the Alliance my whole life, Garrus. Born in the med bay of one of their ships, went to schools with other Alliance kids, enlisted the day I turned eighteen. And now I can't go back. It feels... weird.” She turned and looked at him. “Did you feel the same when you left C-Sec?”

“It was... intimidating at first, being the only turian on a human ship. But it definitely got better. I never regret leaving C-Sec, not for a second. It'll get easier, Shepard. Life outside of the Alliance isn't that bad. Think about it, no rules, no regulations, no red tapes. We get to work with a man who's a master at the art of killing, the founder of a gang who never runs out of anecdotes, a crazy scientist who sometimes hums when he shoots his enemies. And you even get to adopt a little krogan.”

Shepard snorted. “Working with Cerberus sounds fun if you put it that way.”

Garrus shrugged. “Doesn't matter who we work with, as long as we're doing the right thing. And you know damn well we are.”

She snapped the last piece back in place then handed him the rifle. It was now immaculate.

“Much appreciated.”

“Thanks for letting me clean your gun,” said Shepard. “It calms me down more than anything else. I couldn't stay in my room to clean mine.”

Garrus could understand the calming effect of maintaining one's weapon. “I know what else can take your mind off things. We'll find you the strongest stuff we have in the bar. Just give me a second.” He took a moment to save his work before heading out with her.

“Garrus?”

“Yeah?”

There was a pause. “Thanks for being here for me.”

Calibration process saved. Garrus turned back to her and gave her a pat on her shoulder. “Every hero needs a sidekick.”

“Come on, Garrus. You're never a sidekick.”

“Who says you're the hero?” He flashed a teasing grin and led her out of the main battery.

“Right, of course.” Shepard nodded slowly as a smirk appeared. “You're Archangel.”

“I'm glad you remember. You know, we should come up with a name for you.”

“I need to be drunk to think that's a good idea.”

“You will be soon enough. But first, you need to eat something or you'll pass out by the second round.”

Shepard snorted, although this time, she listened. “All right, Mom.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Part 2 of the long overdue heart-to-heart. Writing this one (as well as the previous two chapters) is draining. I swear I could hear Harbinger's voice inside my head saying, “This hurts you!” Yes, Harbinger, it does. Please excuse any mistakes. I'll edit it again once I forget everything I've written. Been working on this chapter for two weeks straight, I know every line by heart, so it's very easy to skip words.

Updates are taking slightly longer than usual. I've been taking my time to rewrite and edit these chapters because it'll be a while before Shepard and Alenko will be in the same room again, I want to make every line counts without bloating it with unnecessary fluff. Shenko is not quite over. One more chapter to go. Let the healing process begin.

Thanks for reading. And thank you for the reviews and support!

Title of the chapter refers to a poem by Rabindranath Tagore.

_The furthest distance in the world_  
Is not the distance between life and death  
But you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you  
But I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly  
But I can only bury it in my heart dispute the unbearable yearning  
  
The furthest distance in the world  
Is not I can only bury it in my heart dispute the unbearable yearning  
But we cannot be together when we love each other 

_\--a poem by Rabindranath Tagore_

  
  


  
  



	17. Separate Lives

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 16: Separate Lives

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

Kaidan woke up to the faintest hum. The white noise was oddly comforting, reminding him of his tours on various Alliance vessels. An unfamiliar room greeted him when he opened his eyes. It took Kaidan a second or two to register his whereabouts and recalled what happened a few hours ago. He was in the new Normandy. In Shepard's room. In her bed.

And this was not a dream.

He quickly rolled onto his back, half-expecting to see the other side of the bed occupied by its lovely owner. But it was empty. Kaidan smiled sadly to himself, trying his best to ignore the sudden disappointment. Of course it was empty, Shepard had left the room soon after she had asked that question.

_Who is she?_

For the hundredth time since that moment, Kaidan had regretted answering that question. The look on Shepard's face – however well she had masked it – had told him he had hurt her more than she would ever admit. Kaidan had never hated himself more.

He sat up, wondering where Shepard was, only to find her sleeping on the couch. Getting out of the comfortable bed, he approached her quietly. Wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts, the legendary hero looked less intimidating, more vulnerable, and, in his eyes, most beautiful. This was the real Aerin Shepard – the woman underneath her armor and her uniform, hidden under the commander mask.

The person who had the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. Not just once, but twice.

Kaidan saw the bruises on her arms and legs, some old and fading, some fresh and bright. Several long scars ran along the length of her legs, scars that had not been there two years ago. And like the ones on her cheeks, they had a hint of red glow underneath the fair skin.

Although Chakwas had briefly told him about Project Lazarus, Kaidan couldn't even begin to imagine what Shepard had really been through the past two years. Bringing her back from the dead was a miracle, and he was thankful for that. But there was one thing Kaidan still couldn't look past no matter how hard he tried: Cerberus was behind it.

Shepard shifted and curled up, blissfully unaware of the world around her for once. A smile spread across Kaidan's face before he knew it. She was the same in every way – from the way she fought, to her stubbornness when they argued, to the way she slept. Even without Anderson and Chakwas' confirmations, Kaidan knew this was not an imposter or a clone. This was his Aerin, and Cerberus took her away from him.

For a while, he stood there, debating on whether to wake her and ask her to go back to her own bed, or just to carry her there himself. In the end, he did neither. Kaidan took the blanket from the bed and gently tucked her in, then sat down on the couch close to her.

Shepard stirred again, hugging the blanket closer. Stretching in her sleep, her head shifted and landed itself onto his leg. Kaidan glanced down, smiling to himself. She was using him as her pillow once again – a habit she had formed during their shore leave two years ago. And he didn't mind a bit.

He brushed a few strands of hair off her face, careful not to wake her. This felt right. Being with her was where he belonged, where he should be. Kaidan could no longer ignore the tiny voice inside as it became louder and louder the longer he was with Shepard. He loved her, he always had.

If only she was back with the Alliance.

 

* * *

  
  


For once, it was a dreamless sleep.

Shepard rolled onto her side to continue with her peaceful slumber. But something didn't feel right. Her pillow was firmer than it should, her bed narrower. The next thing she registered woke her up completely: A warm hand was holding onto hers.

Popping opened her eyes, Shepard came face to face with something... dark. The pillow underneath her head shifted on its own ever-so slightly. Shepard scooted back in mild panic, only to find she was staring at a shirt, or more specifically a torso.

_What the...?_

Her eyes made a beeline from the body up to the face of its owner, with every intention of punching the living hell out of whoever dared to come this close to her, until she saw that sleeping face. Muscles relaxed immediately as Shepard rolled onto her back with a quiet chuckle to herself.

Kaidan was sitting on the couch, fast asleep right next to her, all while she was using his leg as her pillow.

And this was not a dream.

How did that happen?

Her movements woke him. It took Kaidan a few seconds to regain full consciousness, and Shepard took those precious seconds to stare at him greedily. She missed him. She missed him but couldn't tell him.

“Hey...” He gave her a sleepy smile then rubbed his eyes with the back of his free hand.

Shepard could have sworn they had traveled back in time, back to two years ago. “Morning.”

His hand was still on hers. He didn't take it away, nor did she move. She knew she should get her head off his thigh asap, but she lingered. One second after another. If she didn't move, the magic remained, she could still pretend they were still together.

Perhaps because her mind was hazy, or perhaps because she had used up all her willpower the night before, she could only watch as her hand reached out and touched his face, tracing her fingertips from his cheekbone to his lips.

If Kaidan was surprised by that, he didn't show. His gaze was tender, even loving. He looked as though he was about to dip his head down to kiss her. And she wanted him to.

This felt right. Being with him was where she belonged, where she should be. If only she could leave Cerberus.

Countless times she wondered about the what-ifs. What if she had hopped into the escape pod just in time? Would they have been married by now, or broken up long time ago? Or perhaps neither. Wedding was just a ceremony. With or without it, they knew they belonged together.

Yet, right now...

“How did we end up like this?” she whispered to herself. It was a question never meant to be voiced. Upon realizing her mistake, Shepard quickly corrected it, “I thought you were sleeping on the bed.”

“Woke up and saw you sleeping on the couch. Brought you the blanket, and then you decided to use me as your pillow.” There was a flash of a tiny teasing smirk she'd always loved. “I guess somethings never change.”

“...I er... Sorry about that.”

He chuckled lightly. “Well, don't be. Best sleep I have had in two years.”

“Bridge to Commander,” Joker's voice came through the comm system, breaking the spell that had been weaving between them. “Arriving at the Citadel in thirty minutes.”

Shepard shut her eyes momentarily as she swallowed a sigh and a curse. Her mind thank her pilot for the timely interruption, but her heart hated him for it.

“Joker?” asked Kaidan.

“Yeah...” Shepard forced a smirk, hiding her disappointment. She sat up, leaving his warmth behind. Time to wake up, time to face the reality – a reality without Kaidan by her side. “I could give you a tour to the CIC and the bridge if you want. Joker would love to see you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“But that means we won't have time for breakfast before the ship dock.”

“We could grab something at the Citadel before we meet Anderson,” he suggested.

“Sounds good.” She stretched and mumbled to herself, “I wonder if that place is still opened...”

“It is.”

She glanced at Kaidan with a raised eyebrow. “You know which restaurant I'm talking about?”

“The place where we used to get our breakfasts across from the hotel we stayed in. You love their hot chocolate.”

Her lips curled up involuntarily. This man could read her mind like no one else.

“It's still there,” Kaidan told her, taking the blanket over to the bed. “I stop by that place every once in a while when I'm in the Citadel.” There was a slight pause. “It reminds me of you, of us.”

Shepard swore her heart just melted and broke a little simultaneously. What if she'd never died, would this be her daily life? Waking up to him, planning breakfast together, watching him make the bed before they both started their day. Simple and mundane things like these were what she secretly longed for. A peaceful life with him.

Kaidan seemed amused when he caught her staring at him. “What?”

Shepard could only shook her head.

He was no longer hers, Shepard reminded herself, ignoring the painful twitch inside. He deserved a better life, a normal life without having to deal with the Collectors or a suicide mission. A peaceful life without her.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Councilor's Office

 

A frown had been etched permanently on Anderson's face. Kaidan sat next to Shepard across the councilor, both in silence, waiting for him to speak after their report.

“Casualties?” asked Anderson.

“Approximately half of the colony,” Shepard replied.

“It would have been worse if the commander didn't arrive in time,” Kaidan added. “I'm sorry, sir. If I had been able to calibrate the targeting matrix, perhaps--”

“If we're pointing finger here, it's on me, Commander,” Shepard turned to him, her face hard as steel. “The Collectors were there because of me.”

“But if the turrets were online, that might stop the Collectors,” Kaidan reasoned.

“It might slow them down, but it won't stop them,” Shepard countered. “They could have disarmed the turrets or destroyed them. The weapons the Collectors used are nothing we've ever seen. Who knows what else they have up their sleeves?”

“Enough,” Anderson stopped their argument. “Now, about those weapons...”

“We picked up some of them,” said Shepard. “I'll have them sent to you for the Alliance to study.”

“The lab is going to have a field day,” said Kaidan.

“Dr. Solus has invented a counter-measure for the seeker swarms,” Shepard told Anderson. “We... field-tested it, and it's effective. I'll send the data to you.”

“Any ideas what the Collectors do with the victims?” Anderson asked.

“None.” Shepard shook her head. “They're captured alive, that's all we know.”

There were some fates worse than death, Kaidan suspected this was one of those cases.

Anderson leaned back on his chair with a sigh. “The rest of the Council won't like this, but they have to know. It's about time for them to pull their heads off the sand.”

“You think they'll help me now?” asked Shepard with a subtle sarcastic edge to her tone.

“I don't know,” Anderson admitted. “But I'll try to push.”

“They can't ignore this hard evidence.” Kaidan shook his head with a frown.

Shepard snorted. “Oh, they can. And they have.” She shot him a glance. “If they can ignore the dead Reaper on their doorstep, they can ignore everything.”

Kaidan shared her disillusion and realized her frustration. Without the Alliance and the Council to back her up, Shepard was truly alone facing another threat. It was almost the same story all over again – last time she had used the Alliance resources, this time it was Cerberus.

Did it really matter whose resources she was using as long as she could get her job done? Kaidan wasn't so sure anymore.

“That'll be all for now,” the councilor concluded their meeting. As they stood to leave, Anderson added, “Stay for a minute, Alenko. I've your next assignment for you.”

Kaidan glanced over to Shepard as he sat back down. Her commander mask was firmly on.

“I'll go make arrangement for the weapon delivery,” Shepard said to the councilor as she booted up her omni-tool to transfer a file. “Here's the data on the armor modifications for the seeker swarms. Dr. Solus will be available to answer any questions you have.”

“Good work, Shepard. Stop by anytime.” The grim expression on Anderson's face softened a notch. “My door is always open.”

“I know.” There was a hint of smile on Shepard's face before she gave Anderson a nod. “Councilor.” She then turned to Kaidan. “Commander.” With that she headed for the door.

Kaidan's eyes followed her until the door closed. Despite their pleasant breakfast, despite their never-ending conversations, Kaidan couldn't help but notice Shepard had been trying to put a distance between them.

“Did Shepard ask you to join her?” Anderson's voice dragged his attention back to their meeting.

“No, sir. She mentioned she wanted me to be there, but she would never ask me to leave the Alliance.”

An eyebrow arched up slightly on the councilor's face, then a faint smile of pride broke through his ever-stoic facade. “I underestimated that kid...” Anderson mumbled to himself and shook his head before he turned his attention back to Kaidan. “You're on shore leave from this moment on, Alenko.”

“What about my next assignment?”

“You've done enough. Take a break, son. When was the last time you went back to Vancouver?”

“It's been a while,” Kaidan admitted.

“Go back home and recharge. You'll need it for your next assignment.”

“What is it?”

“Remember I told you about the special ops division for biotics?”

“A program to train biotics, if I remember right.”

Anderson nodded. “I want you to lead that division.”

“What?” That wasn't what he'd expected.

“Teaching the kids how to be the best soldiers with their biotics, it takes patience and experience. I can't think of anyone better for this job.”

“I'm not a teacher, sir. I prefer to remain on the field.”

“And you've done enough of that since you joint the Alliance. That's what, eleven years ago?”

“Twelve.”

“Maybe a change of scenery might be good for you.”

“I don't think--”

Anderson held up a hand. “Think about it during your break,” the councilor urged. “We're planning to start that division in Vancouver. Stop by the HQ. I'll arrange someone there to tell you more about the program. It's nice to be home once in a while.”

Kaidan couldn't disagree on that; he did miss Vancouver. The timing though... Kaidan hesitated before he asked, “Sir, if I may.”

“Go ahead.”

“Is it because Aerin is back?” _That you want me to be somewhere far away from her?_ Kaidan left the last part out.

The councilor studied him for a moment. “I'm not going to lie to you, the timing couldn't be any better. But I have always had you in mind to head this division. It has to be you, Kaidan. I won't trust anyone else for this job.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Bar

 

“When Shepard hauled Garrus' ass back to the Normandy, I thought we needed a coffin,” Joker told Kaidan over a bottle of beer. “Half of his face was gone! Guess what Shepard did after that asshole blew up Vakarian's face? She went berserk and blew up the gunship in return. Don't piss off that woman.”

Kaidan grinned at the tale. “That's what she does: Saving people's asses.”

Joker nodded. “Yours, Garrus', and mine. And the entire freaking galaxy.”

The pilot had traded in his SR-1 cap for a SR-2 version, his Alliance uniform for the Cerberus one. But overall, Jeff Moreau hadn't changed, and Kaidan doubted he ever would.

“Why did you join Cerberus?” asked Kaidan.

Joker snorted. “You know what they did to us after Shepard died.”

“We're all reassigned.”

“Officially,” the pilot emphasized. “Burying the giant pink elephant under the rug was what they did. And they grounded me! What was I supposed to do if I couldn't fly?”

Kaidan had no answer to that.

Joker took a drink from his beer before he continued, “Then one day I got a call from Cerberus. They told me I could fly. And they told me they had Shepard, that when she's ready, I'd fly for her again.”

Kaidan frowned slightly. “You knew Aerin was with them all this time and you didn't tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, Kaidan, guess what? I got a crazy call from Cerberus saying that they have our commander hidden somewhere in the galaxy. You know, the commander who was killed two years ago because of me?'” Joker scoffed. “Yeah, you'd totally buy that. Look, I knew they were pulling my legs, but I joined them. Not just because they let me fly, but because there's a chance I'd work for Shepard again.”

Kaidan could only look at the pilot. Too many questions flooded to his mind, one in particular stood out: If Cerberus offered him a chance to be with Shepard again, would he join them? No, Kaidan told himself, no he wouldn't join Cerberus, not even for Shepard. Although the answer was nowhere as definitive as it had been two days ago.

Joker waved a hand. “Yeah, you don't have to say it, I know I was a sucker for holding out hope that Shepard was alive, that Cerberus was pulling some magic to save her. It helped me sleep at night, you know?”

“You should have told me.”

“And what? To get your hopes up over something that's probably a lie?”

For a while, neither men spoke a word.

Then, when Joker spoke again, there was a rare sincerity in his voice. “I couldn't face you after what happened to her. It's my damn fault...”

Kaidan reached out to put a hand on his friend's shoulder. He wasn't the only one who had been carrying the weight of guilt over these years.

Joker recovered quickly then smirked to himself. “Guess what Shepard told me? 'I don't blame you.'”

Kaidan smiled at Shepard's response. “Yeah, she'd understand.”

“She's really something, isn't she? Got her killed and she didn't even punch me in the face.” The pilot chuckled quietly. “A word of advice from an old friend: Give Shepard a break. That woman raced across the galaxy to save your ass, Alenko. And she's going to save the galaxy again by throwing her life out there. Whatever uniform she's wearing, she's still our Shepard.” Joker gave him a knowing glance. “And you should know her better than anyone.”

“You're right. I should...” Kaidan admitted. “I trust her, Joker, it's Cerberus that I don't trust.”

“No one's gonna stab Shepard in the back on the ship, if that's what you're worried about. The entire crew is rooting for the commander. Trust me, I have eyes and ears everywhere.”

“From what I've seen on the ship, the crew... they seem like good people.”

“Yeah, they're normal people like you and me, not evil incarnated like the Alliance want us to believe. Sure, there are some assholes in the mix, but some of them are nice too – not in that overly brain-washed creepy way. They have families and friends waiting for them back home. We're just wearing different uniforms.”

“And this Illusive Man?”

Joker shrugged. “I don't trust him. Neither does Shepard. She's using his money, he's using her muscles.”

While Joker did ease away some of his concerns, Kaidan still didn't like this arrangement. Not the slightest. “I need a favor.”

“Name it.”

“I want to talk to Aerin's XO.”

“Miranda?” Joker made a face. “You don't want to talk to her. That woman's stone cold with ice in her veins. She scares the shit out of me.”

“I have to. Set up a meeting for me.”

Joker hesitated.

“Jeff, please.”

Joker sighed. “All right, your funeral. I'll ask Jacob where the Ice Queen is, you can go find her yourself. Just... don't tell her I send you.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Ward

 

“Miranda Lawson?” a man called out for her from behind.

Miranda turned, only to find the man she thought she had gotten rid of.

“Kaidan Alenko--”

“I know who you are.” Miranda cut his introduction short and gave him a quick once-over. This man had aged since she had last seen him in person at the Silver Coast casino two years ago.

“I need to talk to you.”

“About Shepard.” It wasn't a question. Shepard was the only link between them. “Here to thank me for saving her?” A tiny sarcastic smirk played on her full lips. “You should thank the Illusive Man. He ordered the project and funded it.”

Alenko scowled at that. “What does Cerberus want from her?”

“Didn't Shepard tell you?” Miranda arched one eyebrow. “She's back to fight the Collectors and the Reapers.”

“Since when does a group of terrorists care about saving the galaxy?”

“Cerberus has done everything to advance humanity. And now humanity is under threat, of course we are fighting back. Unlike the Alliance.”

“You don't know anything about the Alliance.”

“Don't I? You'd be surprised how many of you guys are actually our people. It's you who don't know a thing about Cerberus, so pull that Alliance stick out of your arse. We're risking our lives to save yours.” Miranda turned to leave.

“If anything happens to Aerin,” Alenko warned, “I'm going to find you. And I'm going to kill you.”

Miranda believed he meant every word, but to her, it wasn't a threat. It was an insult – an insult questioning her ability to do her job. Keeping her icy composure despite a rising anger, Miranda whipped around to face him once again. “How long had you been sleeping with her before she died?”

“What?” Alenko scowled. “That's none of your damn business!”

“A month? Or two?” she guessed as she stepped closer to him. “I've spent two years of my life dedicated on the project, on Shepard. I know everything about her, things you might not even know.” Miranda stopped just a step away from Alenko, tilting her head up to look him straight in the eye. “You're not the only biotic who can protect Shepard. Last I heard, she died on your watch. I won't repeat your mistake.”

That hit him hard, she could tell from the heated glare. Miranda, however, remained unfazed. “You've done more than enough damage already. Stay away from Shepard,” she warned as she stepped back. “She doesn't need you anymore. Go back to your doctor.”

It took a second or two before Alenko made the connection. “It's you. You told her that.”

“I saved you the trouble. No need to thank me.” Miranda walked past him, ending this unexpected encounter.

Alenko remained a potential trouble, she noted with dismay as she headed to the elevator. That man still cared about Shepard even after two years. Miranda knew she had to act, and act fast.

She tapped on her earpiece as soon as the elevator door close, giving her a brief moment of privacy. “Jacob? How's the maintenance going?”

“Right on schedule,” said Jacob on the line.

“Change of plan,” said Miranda. “We're leaving first thing tomorrow.”

“What? I thought we're scheduled for a seventy-two-hour leave. Something came up?”

“Necessary precaution. We've to leave before things get complicated. I'll inform Shepard. Get the ship ready.” Miranda ended that call and made another one. “Commander?”

“What is it?” Shepard answered curtly.

This was the first time they spoke after the incident in her office, but Miranda knew how to get Shepard's attention. “We have a lead on the justicar. She's last seen on a ship heading to Illium.”

That's not a lie. Miranda had received this intel a few hours ago, although she didn't plan to tell Shepard until after the shore leave. As soon as the justicar set foot on Illium, Cerberus informants would track her every move. One day or two wouldn't make a difference in terms of recruiting the asari, but another day or two with Alenko might break Shepard's resolve of leaving her old life behind.

There was a slight pause before Shepard answered, “We're leaving as soon as the ship is ready.”

“It'll be ready by tomorrow morning.”

“Tell the crew we're cutting the shore leave short.”

“On it.” Now, one last thing. “And, Shepard?”

“What?”

“I know a place with the best sushi in town. I've a reservation tonight. Join me.” For the mission, Miranda swallowed her pride. “Consider this an apology for spying on you.”

Shepard didn't answer for a second. But just when Miranda was about to change tactic, the commander responded, “Send me the address. I'll meet you there.”

Target secured. Miranda hid a hint of relief in her tone. “See you in an hour.”

The commander would be under her watchful eyes for the evening, leaving Alenko no chance to sneak back into Shepard's life. Perhaps this preemptive strike was unnecessary, but Miranda would never allow anyone to ruin the mission, not when the stake was this high. Better be safe than sorry.

So much for a relaxing night off, Miranda let out a tired sigh and headed out of the elevator. But then, spending an evening with her project might not be that bad. After all, both women were more alike than they each care to admit.

And now, Miranda had one last call to make. “Yes, I want to make a reservation for two.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Dock

 

The new Normandy was just as impressive on the outside as it was inside. Kaidan glanced over at Shepard's ship as workers on the dock were busy preparing the ship for its takeoff.

Soft footsteps stopped next to him, announcing the arrival of the person he had been waiting for.

“Joker said you wanted to see me,” said Shepard as she joined him on the balcony.

If Joker hadn't called him, Kaidan wouldn't even know they were leaving. “So you're really going to leave without saying goodbye.”

“Thought you might be busy.”

“Even if Anderson summoned me right now, he'd have to wait. I want to see you before you go.”

The smile she gave him was soft, yet that touch of wistfulness behind her eyes was unmistakable no matter how hard she was hiding it. “Well... Here I am.”

“Where are you heading to?”

“Gonna pick up a justicar on Illium.”

“An asari justicar?”

Shepard nodded.

Kaidan mentally dug up all the information he had read about that elite group of warriors. “I've heard they live and die by their code, wandering asari space, righting the wrongs. There are not that many of them. It'd be an honor to meet one.”

“And it'd be hard to convince her to join, but I have to try.”

“I'm sure she'll join you. You're doing the right thing.”

Shepard stared at him in surprised.

Kaidan smiled at her reaction. “I spent the whole night thinking last night... I still don't trust Cerberus, but I trust you, Aerin. I know you'll get this done.”

For the longest time, they wordlessly looked at each other. Under the artificial daylight, Shepard's eyes were as blue as he remembered. Kaidan found himself draw closer.

“...Thanks.” Shepard broke the gaze, long lashes batted quickly a few times. “So, what's your next assignment?”

“Anderson is benching me.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“He's putting me on shore leave for a few weeks.”

“It's not uncommon to be on shore leave after a mission,” she reasoned. “That's not benching you.”

“That's not all. He wants me to teach.”

“Teach?”

Kaidan nodded. “He's starting a spec ops division with biotics. He wants me to head that division and train the new recruits.”

Shepard thought for a second. “I think that's a great idea. You're perfect for that job. You're the best biotic in the Alliance, you've patience, and you've the experience. What more could they ask for?”

“You sound just like Anderson.” Kaidan gave her a sideways glance, to which Shepard merely smirked back. “I mean, me, teaching?” He shook his head. “I like getting my hands dirty, you know.”

“You need a break from all these. First Saren, then my death, and now the Collectors. You've been through too much, Kaidan. Spend some relatively quiet time teaching kids how to kill with their mind might be good for you.”

“You sure you're not Anderson? Because that's exactly what he said.”

“Come on, Kaidan, can't you tell the difference? I'm the prettier one,” Shepard joked with a smirk.

Kaidan pretended to hesitate. “...Well, that depends...”

“Careful now, Alenko,” Shepard warned in jest, sending him a fake glare which quickly turned into a laugh they shared.

It'd be a long time since he'd laughed. It's almost as though he'd died along with Shepard two years ago, and only now had he been revived. Kaidan had to fight back the urge to touch her, to hold her. His hand rested on the rail right next to hers. “I think he's afraid I'll go with you.”

Shepard didn't say a word. Her eyes glued to the horizon.

“And he's not wrong,” he admitted to her quietly.

Shepard shook her head. “I can't ask you to leave your new life behind for me. And I certainly can't ask you to leave the Alliance, not after everything you've worked so hard to achieve.”

“You know, this new life... I wish I could trade it in and get my old life back. Back to the way it was. The way it's supposed to be. We'd take this shore leave together...”

Shepard continued wistfully, “And you'd finally take me to your winery and show me around Vancouver.”

Kaidan looked at her, touched. “You still remember?”

“How could I forget?” she said in a voice almost as low as a whisper, her faint smile had more than a touch of sadness to it. Her eyes met his as she continued, “To you, it's two long years. But to me, it felt like nothing more than a nap. I died, then I woke up. Two years... gone. Everything has changed, except me.”

He heard the words she did not say out loud – words neither could say to each other given their current circumstances. But he heard them, loud and clear.

Disregarding the invisible wall she had been trying to build between them, Kaidan acted on an impulse and pulled her in his arms. Her warmth, her scent, the way her body molded perfectly against his, everything about her reminded him of the past they had shared. Kaidan would give everything to go back to two years ago and change that particular day, so she would never die, she would never work for Cerberus, and she would still be his Aerin.

He understood what she had to do, and why she had to do it. But he didn't like it, he didn't like it a bit. Sending her away with the enemies without him protecting her, that killed him all over once again.

“Be careful out there. Watch your back.” He didn't want to let her go, not just yet. Or ever.

Shepard remained quiet, only tightened her arms around him.

Kaidan felt her trembling ever-so slightly against him and held her closer. Burying his face in her hair, he mumbled, “Come back in one piece.”

Her answer came in a whisper, “I'll try.”

Shepard stepped back. Her warmth, her scent, all were withdrawn from him, leaving him strangely cold.

Her demeanor shifted. The softness in her eyes and her tone were all but gone. “Accept Anderson's offer,” Shepard suggested. “The Reapers are still out there, we both know it. We need as much help as we can get. Train an army of biotics, that'll give us an edge when the war comes.”

His Aerin was gone, Commander Shepard was back. Kaidan could only nod. “I'll think about it.”

“One more thing...” Shepard hesitated for a second before she continued, “For your own good, you shouldn't contact me.”

“What?” Kaidan scowled at that request. “No!”

“Kaidan, listen--”

“No,” he insisted. “I can't believe you're asking me to do that. I've lost you once, I can't and I won't lose you again.”

“What I'm doing here breaks more regs than I could count. I'd probably be court-martialled if the Alliance could get their hands on me. I've no choice but to be on this path, but I won't let them touch you. The less you know, the better it is for you.”

She was protecting him, he knew. But at what cost? “Aerin, this is...” Kaidan shook his head, heartbroken. “You don't have to do this.”

“I have to,” she corrected him. “It's the only thing I can do for you.” Shepard took a few steps back, distancing herself from him for good. “You have your life, Kaidan. I have my war.”

_Our war. Let me help you,_ Kaidan wanted to scream, but the words stopped before they came out. He had always secretly prided himself on his well-honed self-control, yet, right now, he wished he didn't have this level of discipline.

“I should go.” Shepard gave him a perfect salute. “Take care, Commander.”  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Is this the end of Shenko? No. You'll see Kaidan again, soon.

There are things I wanted to write but didn't, because the chapter is long enough as it is. Two scenes in particular: Shepard/Kaidan's breakfast, and Shepard/Miranda's dinner. Both would be fun to write because of their respective chemistry, but it might be too boring for most of you. So... oh well, their banters remain inside my head.

Thank you for reading!


	18. My Sister's Keeper

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 17: My Sister's Keeper

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

Omni-tool lit up with an orange glow on Shepard's forearm. A message remained idle on the screen, written but not yet sent.

“ _Guess what? I've recruited the justicar. Have to admit it was quite intimidating to meet someone as powerful as she is. But then I thought of you, that behind all the powers there is a person. I've a feeling you two would get along.”_

Shepard lounged on the couch. While her body remained on her ship, her mind was elsewhere, lightyears away. And her heart? Well, it's been MIA – no, KIA.

With a delicate twist of her wrist, deep red liquid twirled inside the wine glass she was holding. Thessia Red. Miranda had ordered a case of the asari red wine, and one of the bottle was now sitting on Shepard's coffee table.

A hint of floral aroma filled her nostril as she took a sip. While her XO had exquisite taste, Shepard wished it was a bottle from Earth – from a certain winery in British Columbia.

Putting down her glass, she continued with her message,  _ “How's the weather in Vancouver? Saw one of the most beautiful sunsets just now here in Nos Astra. The sky was lavender... or was it periwinkle?--” _

A faint beep in her earpiece called for her attention. Shepard dutifully answered the call, “Yes?”

“Hey, Shepard,” Garrus said on the other side of the line. “We're waiting for you at the bar called... uh... Hey, Massani, what's the name of this place?”

“Hell if I know,” Shepard heard Zaeed replied. “It's got some asari shaking their blue arses.”

“You guys enjoy the night,” said Shepard. “I'm staying in.”

“SHEEEPUUUURD!!”

Shepard winced at sudden loud boom inside her ear. “...Grunt?”

“Yeah-- Ah!” Garrus suddenly groaned. “What the--”

“SHEEEEEEPUUURRD!!” Grunt yelled again, louder this time. “Heh heh heh...”

“Zaeed, get him off me!” said Garrus, his voice strained.

“Goddamnit, Grunt,” Zaeed grumbled in the background. “How heavy are you?”

“You okay?” asked Shepard, shaking her head.

“You mean beside almost got kissed by a krogan? Yeah, I'm doing great,” Garrus replied, sounding a bit breathless after the struggle

“You're on your own, Vakarian,” Shepard told her turian twin. “I'm sure you and Zaeed can take care of a baby krogan.”

“Ever met a drunk baby? You sure you want to miss all the fun?”

“Positive. If Grunt breaks anything, just put it on Cerberus' tab.”

“I was hoping you'd say that. With my vigilante's salary, I could probably afford to pay for a broken chair, but not a table. And definitely not those paintings on the wall.”

Shepard managed a light chuckle; it sounded so convincing that she almost fooled herself. “See you back on the ship.”

The smile she had put on for the sake of her friends vanished as soon as the call ended. Shepard took a long drink from the glass then turned her attention back to the omni-tool.

“ _Wish you were here...”_

Her finger hovered above 'send' for just a second before pressing 'delete'.

A quick glance at her inbox told her what she already knew: No messages from Kaidan. _Good_ , Shepard thought, draining the rest of her wine. Kaidan listened, of course he did. He'd respect her decision, whatever it was, he had told her that two years ago. And Kaidan Alenko had always been a man of his word.

That's the way it was supposed to be – he lived his life, she fought her war. But then, why did she feel disappointed that he actually listened to her? Why the hell did it hurt so much?

Reaching for the half-emptied bottle on the coffee table, Shepard continued her search for answers at the bottom of the glass.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“The justicar has joined us,” Miranda informed the Illusive Man in one of the few face-to-face meetings they'd had since the beginning of the mission. Her boss looked well enough. Or rather, the holographic image of him did. “She's sworn an oath to follow Shepard in front of everyone at the police station.”

The Illusive Man nodded as he exhaled a puff of smoke from his ever-present cigarette. If he were born two centuries earlier, Miranda had no doubt he would die from lung cancer.

“Impressive,” said the Illusive Man airily. A simply yet high praise from the man who demanded nothing but perfection. “How's Shepard's progress?”

“Her recovery has been going along better than I expected. Her combat performance is even better than before. Physically, she's almost at her peak. ”

“And mentally?”

Miranda knew what her boss was worried about. “Alenko is no longer a problem.”

“Good.” The Illusive Man nodded, pleased with the report. “One more thing. There's something you should know.” He filled his lungs with his chosen poison. “Your father has found her.”

_No..._ Miranda froze at those five words.

Her boss continued, “I've already made all necessary arrangements for an emergency extraction.”

Releasing a shaky breath, she nodded mechanically. “Understood. ...And, thank you.”

“I've sent you some files. Take care of your business while you're still on Illium. I trust you'll be at your best when the time comes.”

“Of course.”

Conference ended, leaving Miranda alone in the communications room. Leaning against the table, Miranda took a few seconds to clear her mind, driving away the rising panic, then another brief moment to strategize. Booting up her omni-tool, Miranda quickly read through the files about the evacuation and relocation. Everything was meticulously planned, courtesy of the Illusive Man. That's a good start. But Miranda couldn't relax, not yet. She had to be there to see the family off this planet.

A glance at the itinerary had she frowned in dismay. The evacuation took place tomorrow evening, but the Normandy was scheduled to take off tomorrow morning.

There was only one thing she could do. But could Shepard be trusted? The ability to read people was one of many things Miranda excelled in. And from what she had observed in the past few weeks, despite their differences, Shepard was someone she could count on.

Still, this would require a huge leap of faith on her part. But what other choices did she have?

After another second of careful deliberation, Miranda asked the ship AI, “EDI, where's the commander?”

“Commander Shepard is in her cabin,” EDI reported.

“She's still here?” Miranda mumbled to herself, mildly surprised. The entire crew was out for some R&R this evening. “Is Vakarian with her?”

“Negative,” EDI answered. “Garrus Vakarian is ashore. Shepard is alone. Her vital signs indicate she is currently awake.”

The commander had disabled all the bugs in her room, Miranda knew, but Shepard couldn't possibly get rid of the ship internal scanners. “Thanks, EDI.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

Asking for help was hard, telling a story she had never told anyone was even harder. But for Oriana's sake, she had to. Miranda took a long breath and knocked on the door. The lines she had been rehearsing inside her head had all but scrambled up.

The door opened, revealing the commander in a tank top and a pair of shorts. Her eyebrows shot up in somewhat surprise. “Miranda?”

Judging from Shepard's outfit, she wasn't expecting any company. If Miranda wanted the commander's undivided attention, now was her best chance.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Come on in.” Shepard walked back in and casually tossed the datapad she was holding onto the desk. “Have a seat.”

It was the first time Miranda had entered the captain's cabin after Shepard had taken over the ship. She subtly glanced around as she made her way through the room. Two things immediately stood out to her. First, Alenko's picture was missing from the desk. Second, there was an almost-emptied bottle of Thessia Red on the coffee table, with only one glass.

The reunion with Alenko had hit Shepard hard, Miranda concluded silently. The business-as-usual attitude was merely a front Shepard had put on for the past few days, and it was a damn convincing one. The commander's poker face was flawless.

“Would you like some?” Shepard motioned towards the bottle.

It might be a good idea to have a drink before she talked. Miranda nodded.

Miranda made more observations as Shepard retrieved another glass along with a new bottle of wine. Scars had healed, muscles on her body were nicely sculpted and toned – no doubt thanks to Jacob's intensive training sessions. The commander looked like a different person than the one who had escaped from the laboratory a few weeks ago. From a charred body to this almost perfect bloody human specimen, Miranda had never been more proud of the success of her handiwork.

Shepard filled a glass and handed it to her.

“Thanks.” Miranda took a long sip before facing her first hurdle. “...I need a favor.”

The commander nodded and sank into the couch, patiently waiting for her to continue. For that, Miranda was grateful.

“I never told you the real reason I joined Cerberus.” Revealing a tale she had never told anyone else was much harder than Miranda had anticipated. She could only hope her trust in Shepard was not misplaced. “I told you about my father, but I didn't tell you about my twin sister, Oriana. After I ran away from my father, I needed a place to hide and help my sister escape. Cerberus provided me that shelter and protection for my sister. As long as I'm loyal to them, they will keep my sister safe. It's... a form of payment of my service.”

Although the commander's expression had remained unchanged, there was a slight shift in those expressive eyes – lighting up for a second before they softened just a notch. Shepard understood.

“My father has stopped looking for me, but he has never given up on Oriana.”

“Because she is the easier target among the two of you.”

“Precisely.” Words started to come easier. “My sister is living here on Illium, safe and hidden from my father. She has her own family, her own life. A normal life that my father would have denied her if she was still with him. But I received words claiming that my father has found out where she is. He will try to abduct her, Shepard, I'm sure of it.”

“You want me to send in a team to protect your sister?”

“That won't be necessary. Cerberus has made arrangements to relocate my sister.”

Shepard gave her a thoughtful look. “Did you sister's family know about this? Are they okay with being relocated?”

“They know nothing.” Miranda shook her head. “They're completely uninvolved. Normal. Cerberus came up with a perfectly good reason for the relocation. My sister deserves a normal life, and she's going to get it no matter what. But my father is extremely persistent. I'd like to be there when Cerberus is moving the family to make sure none of his agents has been too close.”

The commander nodded. “Just tell me when.”

And now her next huddle. “Tomorrow. After the Normandy's scheduled morning departure. Commander, I don't make it a habit to interfere with our mission, but this time--”

“That biotic prisoner isn't going anywhere. Tell the crew we are extending their shore leave for another day. They don't need to know about this.” Shepard drained the wine in her glass.

Miranda didn't expect Shepard would agree to change their schedule so quickly. “Thanks, Shepard.”

“And I'm coming with you,” the commander announced as she refilled her drink.

That was another pleasant surprise. “You don't have to. I can handle it by myself.”

“I'm sure you can.” Shepard leaned back on the couch with a tiny shrug. “But it never hurts to have someone watch your back.”

“...I supposed not.” Out of habit, she suppressed a smile for a fraction of a second before she stopped holding it back. “Thank you, Commander. I owe you one.”

“No, you don't.” Shepard twirled her glass idly. “You're my crew, Miranda. I know we don't always see eye to eye, but you are one hell of an XO.”

“Thanks, but I don't like to be in someone's debt.”

“Well, you did rebuild me. Let's call it even, shall we?”

That she could live with. Miranda gladly agreed, “We are even then.”

“So you joined Cerberus to protect your sister?” Shepard asked after a sip. “That's...”

“Unexpected?”

“Understandable,” Shepard corrected her. A wistful look flashed across her eyes, but it was gone with a bat of those long lashes.

But Miranda caught the shift. Then it dawned on her. Shepard was here certainly not out of love for Cerberus, that much she had made it clear from day one. She, too, had joined to protect those she loved.

“We both know this might be a one-way trip.” Shepard looked at her, somewhat thoughtful. “At first I thought you were one of those who have nothing else to lose, but I was wrong.”

“Worried I'd hesitate at the last minute and run away?” Miranda snorted softly. “Don't be ridiculous. I never run away from my job.”

“No. You'd be the last one to abandon this mission, I knew that even before you told me you've a sister. But now I know why you're so devoted.” Shepard's eyes met hers. “You have too much to lose if we don't win.”

Miranda arched an eyebrow at the commander's insight. _Just when I thought I have you figured out..._ “What about you, Shepard? Do you have nothing to lose, or too much to lose?”

“Both.”

“Interesting answer.”

“Humanity's at stake. I'll say that's considered too much to lose if we fail.”

Miranda continued for her when the commander didn't bother to finish her own thought, “But on a personal level, you have nothing to lose.”

The commander responded with a tiny twist at the corner of her lips before taking a long drink. Shepard neither confirmed or denied Miranda's speculation. She didn't have to.

Miranda should probably leave it at that, but there was something about Shepard tonight that had tugged at the heartstrings she didn't even know she had. “You still have your mother,” Miranda reminded Shepard quietly.

In a way, Miranda was jealous of Shepard, at least of her relationship with her mother. Hannah Shepard's email had came through the other day, and Miranda had taken a peek at it. Unconditional love and support, no strings attached, no hidden agenda. Those were things Miranda would never receive from her father no matter how perfect she was.

“My mom doesn't know what I'm doing,” Shepard told her after a brief pause. “It's better for her that way. Don't want her to be worried.”

That Miranda could completely understand. _Oriana_. “The less they know, the better is it for them.”

Shepard nodded. “Exactly. It's the only way we can protect them.”

Miranda couldn't agree more. “Then let's just win this bloody war and get our asses back from the Omega 4 Relay. That way your mother won't have anything to worry about, and I can continue to watch over Oriana.”

A hint of smirk returned to Shepard's face as she raised her glass. “Sounds like a plan.”

Miranda raised hers. She could drink to that.

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Eternity

 

Her contact was already waiting for her at the corner of a private room when Miranda arrived with Shepard.

“Miss Lawson.” Lanteia nodded. “I'm glad you made it. We've had a complication.”

Miranda frowned. “What happened? Is Oriana all right?”

“She's fine,” the asari assured her. “But... you listed a man named Niket as your trusted source? He contacted me, warning me that your father has sent Eclipse mercenaries to make a sweep. He suggested that the mercs might be watching for you personally. He's offered to escort Oriana's family to the terminal instead.”

“Who's Niket?” asked Shepard.

“He's a friend,” said Miranda. “He and I go back a long way...”

“Do you want to bring in any of your other Illium contacts, Miss Lawson?” asked Lanteia.

“No,” Miranda replied immediately. “You and Niket are the only two I trust on this.”

“It's your sister, Miranda,” said Shepard. “What do you want to do?”

“We'll follow Niket's suggestion. We'll take the car and draw the mercs' attention.” Miranda then turned back to the asari. “Lanteia, have Niket escort the family to the shuttle. Give him full access to the family's itinerary, just to be safe.”

“Understood, Miss Lawson.”

“So we are the bait while your sister gets to safety?” Shepard commented lightly.

“I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle.” Miranda shot her a knowing glance. “And it's right up your alley.”

Shepard didn't deny that. “Do you want to give Niket any backup?”

“No. Niket can take care of himself. Besides, any armed backup just draws attention to him.”

Shepard nodded. “All right. Let's do this.”

It felt good to have someone by her side, Miranda mused as they walked side by side out of the bar. Especially when that someone was a person she could trust. Miranda glanced over to the woman next to her. Even with her own high-heeled boots, Miranda barely reached the same height as the commander. Tall and strong, and sometimes stubbornly righteous, Shepard was the perfect icon for humanity to follow. But it wasn't all because of her physical attributes or her combat prowess, as Miranda had learned from the past few weeks of close observation. There was something about Shepard that made people around her feel... safe – as ridiculous as it sounded.

“Thank you, Aerin. I appreciate this,” Miranda told the commander quietly, all too aware that she was calling Shepard by her name for the first time. It felt right. Shepard was no longer just the leader of their mission. “I hadn't planned on Eclipse... but they never planned on you.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra Cargo Storage

 

Miranda should have seen this coming.

“Your twin sister is a kid?” Shepard stared at Miranda incredulously, sounding a bit breathless after a long fight with the Eclipse mercs. “How's that even possible?”

“...It's complicated,” Miranda explained as she picked up the radio from one of the fallen mercs nearby, conveniently avoiding the commander's eyes. “We share the same DNA, just not the same birthday. Oriana is my twin, genetically.” She glanced over at Shepard, who seemed confused by her explanation. _Here goes nothing..._ “My father... grew her when I was a teenager.”

Shepard's eyebrow raised further. Although, to her credit, she didn't make any comment to the unconventional family situation.

“My sister was meant to replace me,” Miranda continued, knowingly full well how crazy her family sounded. “I couldn't let my father do to her what he did to me. So I rescued her. She's almost a woman now, she'll be nineteen this year. There are people who would use her against me. I'm very protective when it comes to Oriana. I'm sorry I didn't trust you sooner. You deserved to know.”

Shepard waved a hand. “It's okay... Doesn't matter how old you sister is, we need to get her out before your father finds her.”

Miranda gave her a grateful nod. “I agree.”

“I hope your friend can be trusted.”

“Absolutely. Niket is one of my oldest friends. I guess you could say he was my only real friend. He's the only person I didn't cut ties with when I left my father.”

Shepard didn't look convinced. “Is there a chance your father could be using Niket to get to you?”

“I'm sure he's tried, but Niket is one of the few people who understands what my father is really like. I trusted him with my life when I ran from my father, Shepard. He won't betray me now.”

“Let's go before they get to your friend.”

“Right. If they've got to Niket somehow, this is going to be harder than I'd planned.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra Cargo Processing Yard

 

The blue glow surrounding Miranda's body subsided as another wave of mercenaries had been taken care of. As good as she was with her biotics and her guns, Miranda knew she couldn't have survived without Shepard's help.

With a quick glance over to the commander, Miranda found her stripping ammunition from their dead enemies' weapons. It was one of Shepard's little habits on the battlefields, Miranda noticed. Always carried extra ammo, and at least three guns.

“Niket has reached the terminal,” said a voice through the enemy's radio Miranda had picked up. “He'll switch the family over to our transport.”

“Niket?” Miranda frowned.

Shepard's expression mirrored her own. “Don't tell me...”

_No... No._ Miranda shook her head, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. “But... that can't be right...”

“Come on, Miranda.” Shepard reloaded with a snap and nodded towards the exit. “Let's go find out what's going on.”

Miranda followed the commander into the elevator in a daze. Her mind was spinning faster than ever, trying to find a logical explanation. Anything. Anything but betrayal.

“Maybe the captain knows we're listening in,” Miranda reasoned quickly. “And she's feeding misinformation about Niket making a switch.” _No, not possible._

Shepard pressed the button and the elevator slowly headed up.

“Or maybe...” Miranda tried to justify again. _Come on, Lawson, THINK!_ But she came up with absolutely nothing. “Or maybe it means something else. Niket wouldn't do that!”

“What makes you so sure that Niket wouldn't turn on you?” asked Shepard.

“He could have turned on me when I ran away. I'm sure my father tried to buy him off.” Miranda shook her head. “If he didn't do it then, why would he do it now?”

Shepard paused to think before she asked, “Did Niket know that you took Oriana from your father?”

“No, he just found out about that recently. It was too personal to involve someone else.” Something clicked inside Miranda's head as she answered. But she didn't want to entertain that idea. _No, not Niket._

Shepard gave her a knowing look.

Miranda could only shake her head in disbelief. “I know really never thought about it, but maybe...” _Stop lying to yourself, Lawson!_ She shut her eyes with a shaky breath. “No. He'd have to understand why I did it. He knows what I went through!”

Shepard's tone softened. “...Maybe there's another explanation...”

“I don't know, damn it!” Miranda punched the panel in frustration. Sparks flew when her omni-tool hit the control. “Why won't this thing go any faster?”

Shepard put a firm hand on her arm to prevent another assault. “Break the elevator and we'll have to climb our way up,” said the commander calmly. “Whatever happens, I'm here.”

The elevator stopped after what seemed to be an eternity.

When they reached the dock, the sight of one man made Miranda's blood boiled. Shepard held her back and pulled her behind a tall stack of crates.

“Listen to me,” said Niket to a transport officer. “I've got authorization to change their booking!”

“I'm sorry, sir,” said the officer. “We're under security lockdown. Until the situation in the cargo terminal is resolved, no passengers can be rebooked.”

“This isn't worth my time, Niket,” said another asari who was most likely to be Enyala, the Eclipse leader. “I get paid regardless of how the girl gets there.”

“No! I was told that I could handle this my way. We're not traumatizing the family any more than we--”

Miranda had seen enough. She stepped out of the shadow, full lips pressed into a thin line, eyes narrowed in fury. “Niket.” Even saying his name had left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Miri...” said Niket, shocked.

“This should be fun.” Enyala readied her weapon. But not before Shepard aimed hers at the asari's head.

“Don't try anything,” Shepard warned. “Or I'll blow your head off.”

Miranda's gun pointed at the weaponless man. “You son of a bitch, you sold me out!” It took all her willpower not to shoot at the traitor. “Why? You were my friend! You helped me get away from my father.”

“Yes! Because you wanted to leave,” said Niket. “That was your choice! But if I'd known that you'd stolen a baby--”

“I didn't steal her!” Miranda sneered. “I rescued her!”

“From a life of wealth and happiness? You weren't saving her! You were getting back at your father!”

Miranda couldn't believe what she had just heard. “How could you say that, Niket? You know me! What did my father do to turn you?”

“They told me you'd kidnapped your baby sister all those years ago. I told them you'd never do that, Miri. That they could go to hell. Then you finally told me what you'd done. I called them back that night. They said I could help to get her back peacefully. No trauma to the family.”

Shepard snorted. “No trauma? Oriana has been with her family for years now. And you are trying to tear that family apart.”

“Her father can still give her a better life,” Niket argued.

“You don't know what my father wants for her!” Miranda shook her head in disbelief. “He wants to take a girl away from the only family she's ever known. Doesn't that tell you what he really is? Why didn't you call me, Niket?” she asked in pure exasperation. It had become harder and harder not to pull the trigger. “We've been through a lot. You could've at least let me explain!”

“I deserved to know that you'd stolen your sister, Miri. I deserved to know you were with Cerberus. But I had to hear it from your father first.”

“Enough with your pathetic excuses!” Shepard snapped in a voice cold as ice then asked point blank, “How much did Miranda's father pay you?”

“...A great deal.”

“Damn it! You were the only one I trusted from that life!” Miranda's aim began to shake ever-so slightly. Her heart broke into pieces. If Niket betrayed her based on his principle, she might be able to take it. But selling her out for her father's money...

“He knew you felt that way,” said Niket. “That's why he bought me.”

“So you just took his money,” Miranda scorned.

“Don't get holy with me, Miri! You took his money for years.”

The last piece of her heart was all but pulverized. _Just as well_ , Miranda told herself. It would make what she's about to do easier.

“Give me one good reason why you should walk out here alive,” Miranda demanded with her icy composure back. Her gun aimed straight at his heart, all it would take was one bullet.

Niket looked at her as if wondering if her demand as a joke.

“You have three seconds,” she warned.

“Your father has no information about Oriana,” Niket revealed. “I knew you had spy programs in your father's system, Miri, so I kept it private. I'm the only one who knows.”

“Which means that you're the only loose end,” Miranda concluded coldly. “This isn't how I wanted it to end, Niket. I'm going to miss you...”

“Wait, Miranda.” Shepard put a hand on her gun. “There's another way.”

“This has to end here, Shepard. My father will keep trying to find Oriana.”

“Your father won't stop even if you kill Niket. We could use him to send a message...” Shepard mumbled to her before turning to Niket. “Go back and tell your boss we got here first. We have Oriana and she's gone. She could be hidden anywhere in the galaxy.”

“I'll... I'll tell him that you hid her,” Niket agreed. “That I don't know where she is.”

“If you betray Miranda one more time,” Shepard warned with a deadly edge to her calm voice. “I'll kill you, and it won't be a quick death.”

He nodded with a grimace.

Begrudgingly, Miranda lowered her gun and hissed, “I never want to see you again, Nik--”

A sudden gunshot startled everyone. Niket dropped on the floor. Dead.

_No! Not like this!_

“Done.” Enyala shrugged. “Now if you don't mind, I have a shipment to deliver.”

Enraged, a blue glow suddenly enveloped Miranda's body as she shot out a biotic attack at the asari, lifting her off her feet. “You'll die for that, bitch!” Then slammed her hard against the wall at the far end.

“Reinforcements,” Shepard pointed out then gave Miranda a nod. “Let's give them hell.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra Shuttle Dock

 

The elevator door closed behind them. Miranda slumped against the wall and shut her eyes with a tired sigh. “I can't believe Niket sold me out. I didn't even see it coming.”

“Even with all your upgrades, you're human. Just like the rest of us.”

“But I let it get personal... and I screwed up.” Miranda shook her head, furious at her own failure. Snapping opened her eyes, she looked straight at Shepard. “Why didn't you let me kill him? I could have handle that. But watching him get gunned down by that asari bitch...”

“Because I can tell you still cared for him,” Shepard stated quietly, “even if he betrayed you.”

It took her a few seconds to admit, but eventually she did, “You're right. And my father knew it. He used that against me.” Miranda scowled in disgust. “It's always like this. My father gave me anything I ever wanted, but there was always a hook, an angle for his long-term plan. I threw away everything he ever gave me when I ran. Except Niket. ...Weakness on my part.”

“There's no on-off switch inside our head to make us stop caring for people we love, even when we're not supposed to love them anymore.”

“Speaking from experience?”

To that, Shepard didn't answer. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah...” Miranda nodded. “It's okay, Aerin. My father hurt me, but he didn't break me. As much as he tried to turn me into exactly what he wanted... I'm my own person.”

“Any other old friends your father might use against you?”

“No. I cut ties with everyone else. Anyone I'm close to now works for Cerberus... or you. My father is powerful but he won't cross the Illusive Man.”

“You still have Oriana,” Shepard reminded her.

A soft smile curled on her lips as Miranda thought about her sister. “Yes. You're right. I still have something.” She glanced over at the woman who was once nothing but her project. But now, Shepard was more. A friend. “Thank you, Aerin. I wouldn't be able to stop Niket in time without your help. I won't forget about this.”

When Shepard smiled, her whole face lit up, Miranda noticed for the first time. “We're even, remember? I wouldn't be here to help you if you didn't spend two years of your life to save mine.”

“Guess I've finally done something good with my skills.”

The elevator stopped. Lights from the busy dock almost blinded Miranda momentarily. Miranda led the way to the terminal but stopped as soon as she caught a glimpse of a young woman with short dark hair. She observed an ordinary yet loving family of three from afar. The mother reached out to brush an errand strand of hair away from her daughter's face – the same face Miranda had seen in the mirror everyday. A younger version of her.

“There she is.” Miranda's voice broke a little. “She's safe... with her family.” This was the furthest she would allow herself to approach. She knew she had to leave, before she lost control of herself, before Oriana spotted her. “Come on. We should go.”

Shepard gave her a questioning gaze. “Don't you even want to say hello?”

“It's not about what I want. It's about what's right for her. The less she knows about me, the better. She's got a family. A life. I'll just complicate that for her.”

“She doesn't need to know the details,” Shepard countered. “But would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?”

“...I guess not...”

Still, she hesitated.

It was never her plan to reveal herself. But then again, nothing had gone according to plans today, and things turned out just fine, all thanks to the woman next to her. Perhaps she should listen to Shepard one more time.

Shepard arched an eyebrow at her. “Don't tell me you're scared.”

Miranda snorted and gave Shepard a look. “Don't be absurd.”

“So what are you waiting for?” Shepard nodded towards her sister's family. “Go on. I'll wait for you at the bar.”

_Leap of faith, Lawson._ She had taken one with Shepard. Why not another?  
  


* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Eternity

 

Battlefield had always made Shepard feel alive no matter how crappy she felt otherwise. But there were only so many fights one could get into, even for someone like her. After the battle, and before the alcohol kicked in, there was this gap where she could feel everything – things she wanted to bury, things she wanted to forget.

Now was one of those moments when she was sitting at the bar, finishing her third shot.

Shepard's fingers danced rapidly across the keyboard on her omni-tool. One word after another started to form on the screen. _“Just helped my XO save her sister. Miranda could be cold but there's another side of her, hidden. Guess we all have that hidden side.”_

“Another one?” asked the asari bartender, motioning at her empty glass.

Shepard glanced at her with a nod. That interruption drew her back to reality. Something Miranda had said just now struck a chord.

_It's not about what I want,_ Shepard reminded herself. _It's about what's right for him._

The message was deleted before her drink appeared in front of her.

“Starting without me?” said Miranda as she took a seat next to Shepard then ordered, “Give me the best wine you have.”

“How was it?” Shepard asked, putting on a hint of a smile.

“Better than I thought.”

“So what did you say to her?”

“I introduced myself. Her family was shocked. She adjusted quickly, of course. She's as smart as I am.” The smile on her face was the happiest Shepard had ever seen on Miranda. One full of pride. “She plays the violin, loves the adagio movement of Nielsen's fifth, just like I do. She wants to work in colony development. Told a joke about it.” Miranda chuckled softly. “She's really funny – something we don't share.”

“It's funny. I used to think you're all business. Good to see that there's a person under there.”

“There's a person under your armor as well. We're good at what we do, and we're good at hiding the person underneath.”

“Sometimes it's necessary.”

“I couldn't agree more. Our enemies will use our weaknesses against us. And they have.”

_Kaidan._ “Niket. You liked him.”

Miranda didn't deny that. “I didn't have many friends. Niket was one of them. He never wanted anything from me. He was... safe. Comfortable. A reminder of a more innocent time, I supposed.” Miranda shrugged. As nonchalant as she tried to sound, her eyes betrayed her. “I'm glad Niket tried to redeem himself. For what good it did. Thank you for stopping me, Aerin.”

Shepard nodded. There was one question on her mind the entire night. “Who exactly is your father?”

“A business man. But a very wealthy one. It's ironic, my father believes deeply in human positive agenda. He donated generously to Cerberus before I joined them. That's where I first heard about Cerberus, through my father's connections.”

“You've never mentioned anything about your mother.”

“That's because I don't have one. Most of my genetic material is based on my father's tissue. His Y chromosome was altered with an amalgam of desired traits from various sources.” Miranda snorted. “How arrogant can that man be? He is completely egomaniacal.”

“You could... do that?”

“Not without trial and error, of course.” There was a slight pause. “I wasn't the first one he made, Aerin,” Miranda revealed suddenly. “I was only the first he kept.”

That sent a chill down Shepard's spine.

“I was brought up with no friends, pushed to meet impossible demands. I wasn't a daughter to him. I was... I don't know what I was.” Miranda let out a soft sigh then took a long drink of her wine.

“You are you, Miranda,” Shepard reminded her. “You're your own person.”

“Right.” She flashed an appreciative smile. “Oriana has what I want her to have – a normal life, and a freedom to choose her own path. And she knows she has an older sister. A friend.”

“Are you gonna talk to her again?”

Miranda shrugged. “I honestly don't know. For once I haven't planned that far ahead. I'll deal with it after our mission. I need to stay focus and she needs time to adjust to her new home. The mission is too important to let personal feelings interfere, I'm sure you already know that.”

Shepard didn't answer. She turned her attention back to the dark amber liquor in her shot glass. That particular color reminded her of someone's eyes.

Miranda studied her for a moment.

“What?” Shepard met her gaze steadily.

“...You did the right thing with Alenko.”

_I did... But doing the right thing didn't make it hurt less._ Although Shepard never said a word out loud, she had a feeling Miranda already knew. 

Shepard raised her shot glass. “To a successful mission, so that the people we love will have their normal lives.”

Miranda added, “And to a friend who has watched my back.”

Wine glass clinked with shot glass, marking the beginning of an unlikely friendship.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Did Shepard almost drunk text Kaidan? Oh yeah. She's not drunk enough to hit send, not yet anyway. Like she told Miranda, with all those upgrades, she's still human.

Thanks for reading, and thank for the reviews. It's always nice to hear from you! As for Shepard/Kaidan's catch-up breakfast and Shepard/Miranda's patch-up dinner omitted from the previous chapter, maybe I'll write a one shot story one of these days.

  
  


  
  



	19. Purgatory

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 18: Purgatory

Year: 2185CE

Location: Purgatory Prison

 

“A ship drifting in the middle of nowhere, home to thousands homicidal maniacs from all around the galaxy,” Garrus mumbled then jokingly complained, “Why don't we ever go anywhere nice?”

“We'll go shoot something at an antique store later,” Shepard promised in jest.

“A classy one?”

“Nothing but the best for you.”

Try as she might, Shepard couldn't ignore her budding headache as it drilled into her temples, pounding rhythmically to the beat of her heart. She blamed it on the empty bottle of wine in her room. It was either a hangover or insomnia, and Shepard had chosen the former last night.

“Look.” Miranda nodded towards a guard approaching their direction. “The armor...”

“Blue Suns?” Shepard frowned in confusion. “This place is run by a bunch of mercs?”

“Welcome to the purgatory, Shepard,” the guard greeted them and led them to the sealed entrance. “Your package's being prepped and you can claim it shortly.”

_Package? It?_ Shepard fought back a scowl.

The guard continued, “As this is a high security vessel, you need to relinquish your weapon before we proceed.”

If there was ever something that would make Shepard tick instantly, asking her to give up her weapon would be on the top three of the list.

Her gun was in her hands in the blink of an eye, but not to be relinquished. Shepard aimed it straight at the guard who dared to asked the question. “I'll relinquish one bullet,” she told him all too casually. “Where do you want it?”

Beside her, Garrus and Miranda also had their weapons drawn, neither complained about her style of diplomacy.

Shocked by the sudden deviation, it took all the security guards more than a second to react. But they did.

Lately, her mood had already been bad enough, having four guns aimed at her almost simultaneously only made it worse. “If you're not gonna pick, I will.” She swept her aim across all four guards, one by one. “Right knee. Left knee. Right shoulder. Left hip.”

The sealed door opened. A turian guard walked out from the hallway behind the guards.

“Everyone stand down,” said the turian. “Commander, I'm Warden Kuril, and this is my ship. Your weapons will be returned on the way out. You must realize this is just a standard procedure.”

Shepard holstered her gun only after the guards lowered theirs. “It's _my_ standard procedure to keep my guns.”

The warden stared at Shepard as if he was sizing her up. But if he thought that would intimidate her, he would have to try harder. Shepard returned his scrutiny with her very own.

“Let them proceed,” the warden told his guards eventually. “Our facility is more than secure enough to handle three armed guests.” He then turned back to Shepard. “We're bringing Jack out of cryo. As soon as the funds clear, you can be on your way. If you'll follow me to Outprocessing for the pickup, Commander.”

As they followed the warden, Garrus said to Shepard, “Is it me or did you also have – what do you humans call it? Deja vu?”

“Deja vu?” asked Miranda.

“Noveria,” Shepard recalled. _With Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, Tali, Wrex, and Garrus..._ “A lifetime ago.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge

 

The coast was clear. The door to the cockpit was closed. Joker hit a button to connect to a vid chat session. Within seconds, a familiar face showed up on one of his many monitors.

“Thanks for calling me, Joker,” said Kaidan. “Don't let Aerin know we've been talking. I don't want you to get in trouble.”

“Pfft, what could Shepard possibly do to me? Kick me out of the ship?” Joker leaned back on his throne comfortably. “Good luck finding someone who can handle this baby.”

Kaidan shook his head with a slight smirk. “I take it she's out on a mission right now.”

Joker narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. “You have another spy on our ship?”

“No... But I know you wouldn't dare to say that if Shepard is anywhere on the Normandy.”

Alenko was smart, but he had one crippling weakness, and Joker knew exactly what it was. “Yeah, Shepard is off to prison.”

“What prison?”

Joker could taste his friend's sudden panic through the vid. He relished it for a second longer before he waved a hand. “Relax. We're here to pick up a convict. Wait, that doesn't sound much better...”

“She's recruiting a convict?” Kaidan frowned slightly.

“I know right?” Joker was all too happy to find someone else shared his concern. He knew he could always count on Alenko to be the voice of reason. “We already have a bunch of dangerous aliens aboard, all very skilled at killing people in many different ways. You've no idea, Kaidan, that woman has been collecting the best killers from each race like it's some kinda twisted hobby. I even told her, I said, 'Hey, Commander, why can't you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?' But she ignored me!”

Kaidan pondered for a second. “I'm sure Aerin knows what she's doing.”

“Easy for you to say.” Joker snorted. “You're not trapped on the Normandy with a bunch of ticking time bombs.”

“I wish I could be there,” said Kaidan quietly. “It's killing me to know she's out there risking her life and I can't do a thing to help her.”

Something about Alenko's tone drew his attention. Joker changed the topic, “Where are you anyway?”

“I'm back home on Earth.”

“Earth, huh?” Joker stroke his chin with a sly smirk. “Thought you might stick around the Citadel. You know...”

Kaidan seemed confused. “No. What?”

Joker wiggled one eyebrow. “I've heard about your... er new friend.”

“Oh god...”

“Hey, no judging!” Joker raised both hands. “Good for you. I mean, Shepard _was_ dead and all.”

“It's really not what you think,” Kaidan explained quickly. “I went out for drinks with her and met her for lunch a couple times. That's it. We get along just fine, but...” he trailed off with a quiet sigh.

Joker finished his thoughts for him, “But she's not Shepard.”

“...No one is.”

Joker could understand. Flying other ships after the destruction of SR-1 just didn't feel exactly right. Lucky for him, he had his SR-2. As for Kaidan, well, his new Shepard had a tougher shell to break than the old one.

“Shepard to Normandy!” the commander's voice suddenly patched over.

Joker signaled Kaidan to remain quiet before he answered the call, “Joker here.”

“Joker, send in reinforcement. We're under attack!”

“What the--” Joker's expression mirrored Kaidan's, both were shocked.

“That asshole warden is a slave-trader. He wants to sell me to the highest bidder!”

“Shepard, they're coming!” Miranda called out in the background.

“Get the team ready,” Shepard ordered. “We'll find a way out--” The sound of gunshots rang loudly in the quiet bridge of the Normandy. Shepard's line was cut off.

“Commander!” Joker tried to reestablish a link, but there was nothing but silence. “Shit...”

Kaidan's face had turned ghostly pale.

Joker immediately patched through the ship's comm system. “Bridge to Shepard's team. Suit up and report the the bridge immediately. The commander requires reinforcement. I repeat, Shepard is in trouble. She's been kidnapped.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Purgatory Control Room

 

“They sealed the door,” said Garrus after an attempt to hack the lock. “This day keeps getting better.”

“We'll go the other way.” Shepard led the way down the hall and headed into a control room. “EDI, search for the blueprint of this prison's layout. I need to find a way out of here.”

“Searching,” said EDI. “Schematic found. Uploading it to your omni-tool.”

“Through that door, head down.” Shepard referred to the map on her omni-tool. “But first, we need to find Jack.”

“We don't even know which cellblock he's in,” said Garrus.

“If we hack that control, every door on the cellblock opens,” said Miranda, pointing at one of the panels. “It's the only way to get him out of there.”

“Along with who knows how many maniacs,” Garrus pointed out.

“It'll keep the guards busy, providing a distraction for us to escape,” said Shepard. “Joker, is the team ready?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“I'm opening every cellblock. Have Jacob and Mordin stay behind to guard the ship, the rest of them go clear the path. Protect the Normandy. Nobody gets near my ship!”

“Aye, aye!”

System hacked. Every door in the purgatory opened as the sound of alarm blasted throughout the prison. On the level below the control room, a cryo unit was lifted from the ground up, inside was the convict Shepard had come here for.

“There's our guy,” said Shepard. “Let's get him out.”

When the container opened, white frosty air within the unit dissipated, revealing a slim figure frozen inside.

“That's Jack?” If Miranda sounded surprised, she definitely wasn't the only one.

Shepard arched an eyebrow at the prisoner.

“Human anatomy is not exactly my expertise, but...” Garrus mumbled. “Uh, that's not a human male.”

“Definitely not,” said Shepard, eyeing at the woman inside the cryo unit. Her head was shaved, and almost every inch of her body was covered with tattoo.

As if she could hear them, Jack's eyes suddenly snapped open. Biotic glow flickered from her fingertips as she struggled to free herself from the restraints on her wrists, then the one on her neck.

The mechs guarding the unit woke up from their idle status.

Shepard frowned. “We need to disable the security system.”

Before Shepard could reach the security panel, she heard a sudden battle cry and was blinded for a second by a flash of intense biotic glow. Below the control room, Jack had exploded in a biotic fury, blowing up all three machines in one single attack.

Shepard's eyebrow raised even further.

“Impressive,” said Garrus.

“The dossier was right,” said Shepard. “She's definitely the most powerful human biotic I've ever encountered.”

“Raw talent, but lack of discipline,” said Miranda, scowling.

Jack looked up and noticed them. Anger etched on her face and did not subside despite her newfound freedom. She paid them no mind and hurried to escape.

While she was good, Shepard doubted the biotic could take down every guard by herself. They needed to save her before it's too late. Shepard headed to the exit. “Come on, we have to get down there.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Purgatory Entrance

 

Kidnap and attempted murder were never on her agenda for the day when Shepard woke up this morning. Neither was her tension headache.

With that slaver warden promptly dealt with, Shepard ran down the hall, chasing the biotic she was here for. The path was littered with bodies. Judging from the screams and the sudden blinding glow ahead of them, Jack was just around the corner.

When Shepard arrived, three guards had already surrounded the unarmored biotic. With a grunt, Jack knocked down those two in front of her. Their screams died with the sickening sound of their cracking necks. The last one stood, though, readied to smack the back of Jack's bald head with his gun.

Shepard put a bullet in between his eyes.

The biotic whipped around and sneered at the three armed strangers. “You again? What the hell do you want?”

“I just saved your ass,” said Shepard. “You're welcome.”

“He was already dead.” Jack spared a glance at the body behind her. “He just didn't know it.”

Footsteps came from the hallway ahead. Jack let out a primal shout in frustration as her body glowed brightly again.

“Jack, stop!” Shepard warned as soon as the first man appeared the corner. “They're with me.”

“Can't believe they let those punks join the Suns,” Zaeed grumbled as he charged in. “They don't make 'em like they used to.”

“Commander, are you all right?” asked Samara, biotic glow surrounding her body began to fade.

Shepard nodded. “The ship?”

“The way back to the Normandy is clear,” said Thane.

“Come on, Shepard, let's go shoot the guy who tried to sell you,” said Grunt.

“Too late. I already killed him,” Shepard replied.

The young krogan seemed genuinely disappointed. “Hmph... You get all the fun.”

Jack looked at the group around her, as tensed as a vicious animal being trapped in a corner. “Who the hell are you?”

“My name is Aerin Shepard, and this is my team. I'm here to get you off this ship.”

“Why? What the hell do you want from me?”

“We're fighting a war and I want you to be on my team.”

“I'm not going anywhere with you. You're Cerberus.”

Her headache was getting worse by the second, and her patience was wearing thin. “I'm offering to be your friend. You don't want to be my enemy,” Shepard warned quietly with a scowl.

“They have a way of dying,” said Garrus.

“You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere.” Jack glanced over at the Normandy. “You think I'm stupid?”

“This ship is going down in flames, and I've got the only way out. I'm offering to take you with me. And you're arguing,” Shepard listed point by point systematically. “What do _you_ think?”

“Commander, we're running out of time,” Miranda reminded her. “We've to get out of here before the rest of the prisoners find our ship.”

“We should just knock her out and take her,” Zaeed suggested.

“Or shoot her and patch her up on ship,” Grunt added, waving his shotgun.

Jack scowled. “I'd like to see you try.”

“It might just come to that,” said Shepard, her voice now strained. She took a step closer to the biotic, using every bit of her willpower to keep herself from punching the potential recruit. “We can do it the easy way or the hard way. Either way, I'm leaving, and you're coming with me.”

“Look, you want me to come with you, make it worth my while.”

Holding back a sigh of irritation, Shepard asked, “What do you want?”

“I bet your ship's got lots of Cerberus databases. I want to look at those files. See what Cerberus has got on me.” Jack folded her arms across her petite frame. “You want me on your team, let me go through those databases.”

The request was not something Shepard had expected. “All right.”

“Shepard, you're not authorized to do that!” Miranda protested.

A grin slowly spread on Jack's face. “Oooh, it upsets the cheerleader – even better.”

Ignoring Jack's retort, Shepard gave Miranda a look. “You're willing to risk your life for our mission, but you're not willing to declassify some old files for it? None of those classified information would matter if we lost”

“...Fine,” Miranda conceded. “But I get to decide which file she can access to.”

“Listen to your boss, cheerleader.”

“This 'cheerleader' is my XO,” Shepard snapped at the young biotic with a glare. “And I am the captain of the only ship out of this hellhole. If you have problem with her, you can stay here and rot. We're leaving.”

Without waiting for any response, Shepard headed back to the ship. She needed a drink, or three.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge

 

Turian. Krogan. Asari. Salarian. Drell. And of course, human. Joker did a mental count as Shepard's team filed back into the ship after decontamination. If Shepard's goal was to collect all the friendly species across the galaxy, she was already more than halfway through the collection. Only ones left were quarian, hanar, volus, and elcor. Joker idly wondered if there was any elcor killing machine in those ultra secret dossiers.

Among the team, there was an unfamiliar face. Bald, short, skinny, half-naked covered with tattoo... And female? Joker blinked hard. That's the convict?

“Welcome back, Commander,” Kelly Chambers greeted them at the hallway.

“Kelly, this is Jack. Help her settle in,” said Shepard.

“Of course.” Kelly nodded, cheerful as always. “Nice to meet you, Jack--”

Ignoring Kelly's pleasantry, the skinny woman turned to Shepard and demanded, “The files.”

“We'll talk about that later,” said the commander. “We need to get the hell out of here first.”

“You better be straight up with me,” Jack warned

Shepard nodded then came over to the bridge.

“Okay, Shepard, glad you're back. But keep an eye on the last one.” Joker shot a meaningful glance at the retreating form of the latest stray pet the commander had picked up . “We can only hold so much crazy.”

The subtle sigh Shepard released wasn't lost to Joker. “Get us out of here.”

“Where to, Commander?”

“Anywhere but here.”

“We're one hop away from both Illium and Omega.”

“Illium then.”

“Easy choice, huh? One smells like pretentious perfume, the other smells like overflowing dumpster.”

“Both will choke you to death.”

“Remind me not to buy you perfume for your birthday.” Joker flashed an easy grin then turned his chair back to the consoles and started plotting a new course.

Shepard gave him a pat on the shoulder and exited the bridge.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Joker switched one of the monitors back on. “Did you hear that?”

Kaidan nodded in the vid. “Heard and saw. I'm glad she's okay.”

“You can finally sleep now. What time is it over there anyway?”

“Four in the morning. And I have a meeting at eight.”

Because of Shepard, that man had suffered too many sleepless nights in the past two years. This was just another drop in the bucket.

“Ah well, sleep is overrated.” Joker knew it's really none of his business, but... “You know, if you're really worried about Shepard, you should join us. Hey, you get to see her everyday. Just like old times. It'll be fun!”

Kaidan didn't answer, but Joker could tell he was tempted.

“Come on, do what Chakwas did. Take a sabbatical, then hop over.”

“I can't. I've to get ready and train for my next position.”

_There won't be a next position if this shit goes south._ For once, Joker couldn't bring himself to deliver a smack of reality. Deep down, he knew if he had just evacuated along with everyone else on the SR-1, things would have been very different. Shepard wouldn't be a half-robot. Those two would probably still be together. Hell, there might even be a Shepard-Alenko spawn crawling around the ship by now. 

And it was all his fault. Neither Shepard nor Alenko had ever blamed him, but no matter what they said, Joker owed them both.

Kaidan continued with a helpless shrug, “Besides, your captain doesn't want me to be there.”

Joker rolled his eyes. “Pfft, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she wants.”

“Oh, she knows... And once she's made up her mind, no one can change it.”

_You can, you idiot._

“Watch over her for me, Jeff.”

It was the least he could do. “Yeah, I will.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Engineering

 

Of all the places on the ship, this was where Jack had chosen to settle?

Shepard looked around. Located under main engineering in the bowels of the ship, the space that was meant to be nothing more than extra storage unit now had a make-shift bed and a desk.

“You don't have to live in this pit, you know?”

“It's dark, quiet, and hard to find. That spells safety to me.” Jack put her pistol under the pillow – a gun that had been taken from one of the dead prison guards. “I checked you out while you're getting all nice and clean. You're a Spectre and you're supposed to be dead.”

“I am, and I was.”

“What's a dead Spectre doing with Cerberus?”

“Doing a job nobody wants to do.”

“I have a better idea.” Jack suddenly leaped onto the desk nearby with the speed and grace of a feline. “You know, this ship is a powerhouse. You could go pirate, live like a queen.” She flashed a sly grin. “I could help.”

“You'd be my first mate?”

The biotic jumped back down onto the floor. “I'd lead the boarding party. And handle the executions. Think about all the creds we'd make.”

“Sounds tempting, but I'm kind of busy right now. If our mission fail, you won't be around to rob anyone.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“We're fighting the Collectors. They've been abducting human colonists for a while now. If we don't win this war, the Collectors will wipe out humanity. Colony by colony. Every human will die.”

“Right. You're shitting me.”

“I'm not. I saw them on Horizon. We were only able to save half of the colonists. You can ask anyone of my team, and they'll tell you what they saw. That's why I want you to join me, to fight the Collectors. But I won't lie to you, this is a suicide mission.”

“Suicide mission, huh?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “Why should I help you?”

Shepard stated in a matter-of-fact tone, “Your power is the strongest I've seen. With your help, we'll have a better chance at winning.”

“And now you're kissing my ass.”

Shepard shook her head. “I'm give a realistic assessment. Think about it, if you're not the best, why would I bother to go to that hellhole and get you out of there, while there are so many biotics out there I could easily recruit? I have a war to fight and I don't have time to waste. Everyone on my team is good at what they do, they're best of the best. So are you, and you know it.”

Wordlessly, the biotic stared at Shepard, scrutinizing her with her big sharp eyes as if to detect any traces of deception.

“I won't force you to join us,” said Shepard. “If you choose to leave, I'll drop you off at the nearest port.”

“Just like that?” Jack looked skeptical.

Shepard nodded. “Just like that. No strings attached. You can walk away and continue with your life.”

“What about the files?”

“We have an agreement. If you help us, they're yours. Ask Miranda. She's the one who works for Cerberus.”

Jack snorted. “Yeah right, and you're not?”

“I'm not. I'm using Cerberus resources to fight this war.” Shepard looked at her in the eye. “You won't be working for Cerberus, Jack, you'll be working for me.”

“I kill for you, you give me the files.”

Shepard nodded.

The tough-as-nail attitude wasn't enough to cover the struggle Jack was going through as she considered the offer. Instant freedom or the Cerberus files. Most people, if not all, would certainly pick the former.

Shepard was curious. “Why do you want the files?”

“Your friends at Cerberus are into some nasty things. I'm going to find something I can use in them, I just know it.”

She studied the biotic briefly. “Did Cerberus do something to you?”

That seemed to hit a nerve. “Fuck you.”

Without missing a beat, Shepard replied in a deadpan tone, “Sorry, not interested. I like men.”

She caught a glimpse of a faint smirk on Jack's face before it disappeared.

“Those Cerberus assholes have been on my ass for years,” the biotic revealed after a pause. “Anytime I get free, they put a huge bounty on me. That's why Warden Kuril figured he'd struck gold when he caught me.”

“Why are they targeting you?”

The distinct sound of high heels clicking on the metal stairs announced the arrival of Shepard's XO.

“She has destroyed Cerberus property and killed Cerberus people,” Miranda explained as she walked down the stairs. “Hence the bounty.”

Jack suddenly turned hostile. “You die first!”

“Whoever causes trouble on my ship gets tossed out of the airlock,” warned Shepard, making up a non-existing rule on spot.

Miranda seemed more than pleased with the brand new rule. “Welcome to the Normandy, Jack,” she greeted coolly with her arms folded, her nose up high. “I'm Miranda, Commander Shepard's second-in-command. On this ship, we follow _orders_.”

“Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off, Shepard,” said Jack with a scoff.

“All right. That's enough.” Shepard put a stop to a biotic war before it started. Her headache was bad enough without having to deal with personnel issue.

Miranda maintained her perfect poise. “Commander, you have a meeting in the debriefing room.”

_The Illusive Man? What now?_ “Think about my offer,” Shepard told Jack before heading up to the engineering deck with her XO.

She didn't release a sigh until they were alone in the hallway waiting for the elevator.

“Give her the files if she decides to join us,” said Shepard wearily. “If not, we'll drop her off the next port.”

“I suggest we drop her off regardless. Preferably through the airlock.”

Shepard shot her a sideways glance. “Come on, Miranda. Is she that bad?”

“I read through her files just now. She's trouble, Aerin.”

“But you've seen her power.”

“Not worth the trouble.”

Shepard considered her words. “Forward all her files to me.”

“Her rap sheet is long enough to fill a trashy crime novel. Murder, assault, kidnapping, piracy, arson...”

“Perfect. I need some bedtime reading. Something long enough to put me to sleep.”

“Having trouble sleeping?”

“Nothing new.” Shepard brushed off her concern as they entered the elevator. “It comes with the job.”

“A little advice: Stay hydrated and eat your breakfast. It'd prevent a hangover.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow, surprised. She'd never said a word about her headache. “How did you know?”

“I know you better than you think.” Miranda gave her a tiny teasing smirk. “That headache isn't going to go away by itself. Stop by my office first. I'll give you something for your headache. Don't worry, I won't tell Chakwas... this time.”

Chuckling under her breath, Shepard pressed deck three instead of deck two.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“Shepard, we caught a break,” said the Illusive Man. “I intercepted a distress call from a turian patrol. They stumbled on to a Collector ship beyond the Korlus system. The turians were wiped out, but not before they crippled the Collector vessel. I need you to board that ship and get some hard data on the Collectors. Find us a way to get to their homeworld.”

“A turian patrol destroyed a Collector ship?” Shepard frowned at the news. While the turian navy was legendary, their patrol couldn't have taken out a Collector ship.

“Reports indicate the hull's intact, but all systems seem to be offline. They could be making repairs as we speak. I'm not saying it won't be dangerous, but we can't let an opportunity like this slip by.”

“If they had a patrol out there, why aren't the turians sending a recon team in?”

“They will. Eventually. But I intercepted the transmissions. In the meantime, we're feeding them false reports. You're close enough that you can be in and out before the turians learn the truth.”

“Are you sure this information is good?”

“Information is my weapon, Shepard. It's good.”

Something seemed off. Yet the Illusive Man was right, this was too good of an opportunity to let it slip by. “Send me the coordinates, and I'll take care of it.”

“Already sent. Once you're aboard the ship, establish an uplink with EDI. She'll mine their data for information regarding the Omega 4 relay. Good luck, Shepard.”

  
  



	20. Collector Ship

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 19: Collector Ship

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge   
  


“We have a visual on the Collector ship, Commander,” said Joker, frowning at the ship that resembled an elongated giant rock with a spiky metallic ring in the middle.

Shepard took a step forward and stopped right next to the pilot seat.

The weird ship looked familiar, Joker swore he had seen it before. _Horizon._ He recalled watching a similar Collector ship escaped the colony. _Maybe the Collectors bought their ships from a buy-one-get-one-free close-out sale,_ Joker reasoned as he maneuvered the Normandy closer to the strange vessel. But even so, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had seen it before Horizon.

“Very low emissions,” EDI reported. “Passive infrared temperatures suggest most systems are offline. Thrusters are cold.”

“That thing's massive,” Joker commented. The size of the ship had become even more apparent as they approached. It could fit a hundred Normandies inside. “How the hell did the turians take it out?”

Shepard only shook her head. The commander was quiet, although it wasn't unusual before a mission like this. With the weight of the entire humanity on her shoulders, it was a miracle the pressure alone didn't kill her.

_It's Aerin Freaking Shepard_ , Joker reminded himself. _The same woman who had to take down ten thousand murderous batarians all by herself._

Working so closely with the living legend had somewhat skewed his perspective. Shepard was not just a freaking hero, not even just his boss, she had become one of his closest friends. Sometimes, he had to step back and reminded himself who she really was and what she was capable of.

“Ladar scans do not detect any hall breaches on the side facing us,” said the AI. “I detect no mass effect field distortions. It appears the drive core is offline.”

“The shuttle is ready, Commander,” Miranda's voice came through from the comm system.

“Rendezvous in 30 seconds,” said Joker. “Good luck.”

Shepard gave him a customary pat on his shoulder before heading to the hanger bay. By now, he could tell her mood from a simple touch. A light slap was a playful one. A full palm press was her silent thank you. And one that ended with a gentle squeeze was the worst – it said, “I'm leaving, hopefully I'll come back alive.”

And Joker had felt that squeeze just now.

Joker pulled the Normandy as close to the Collector ship as he could. His job was done. The rest was up to Shepard and her team.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Korlus System, Collector Ship

 

“I love what they've done with the place,” Garrus commented as they exited the shuttle.

“I have never seen a ship like this,” said Samara, who had more experience than the team combined.

“Unusual ship design,” Mordin observed, light from his omni-tool shone at the wall. “Hard to track lines, angles.” The professor pause to take a breath. “Disturbing.”

Shepard couldn't agree more. She tried her best to ignore everything but the path in front. This place made her skin crawl.

“Looks like a giant insect hive,” said Zaeed.

“Yeah, Rachni, maybe?” Garrus suggested.

Miranda glanced up. “Are those... eggs?”

Shepard followed her XO's sight and grimaced at what she saw. “Hope not...”

“Penetrating scans have detected an access node to uplink with Collector databanks,” EDI informed them. “Marking location to your hardsuit computer.”

“Let's move.” Shepard led the way further into the ship.

Ever the curious scientist, Mordin approached a pod along the path and examined it. “Same containers as on Horizon. Only empty.”

“Small. Like my tank,” said Grunt.

“Horrible.” Garrus shook his head. “Trapped in these pods. Completely at the mercy of the Collectors.”

“Shepard,” said EDI, “I have compared the ship's EM signature to known Collector profiles. It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon.”

“Maybe the defense towers softened it for the turians,” Shepard reasoned.

“The missing colonists might be aboard,” said Garrus. “If they're still alive.”

“Oh god...” Miranda pointed at the end of the path. “Up ahead, Shepard.”

The team approached and found what seemed to be a pile of human remains. Heads and limps were ripped apart, broken bodies dumped haphazardly on top of each other. Thirty bodies, by Shepard's rough estimation, maybe even more.

“This looks bad...” said Garrus.

“Lots of dead meat,” Grunt put it bluntly yet accurately.

The knot between Shepard's brows couldn't be tighter. She was thankful her helmet was on, she did not want to know what it smelled like around this place.

“Why would the Collectors just leave a pile of bodies lying around?” asked Miranda.

“Must have been used for testing,” said Garrus. “I'd say these subjects didn't pass.”

“This was wrong.” Mordin shook his head. “Inhumane. Even if Collectors needed to kill for experiments, could have ended lives painlessly.”

Shepard could almost hear the agonizing screams of the victims when their limps were being ripped from the joints or when their spines were being snapped.

Her career had trained her to have a strong stomach, but even a harden soldier had her limit. Shepard was glad that she had skipped breakfast this morning. “There are worse things than death – like being a test subject for twisted aliens.”

“You're probably right,” said Garrus. “Doesn't feel much better, though.”

“It is important to seek whatever solace we can find in the face of tragedy,” Samara advised soothingly.

_Solace?_ She had once found hers two years ago, but she'd lost it. “There's nothing else we could do here. Let's move on.” Shepard turned and walked away. Her team gladly followed.

Corpses and emptied pods littered everywhere they went. But all the dead bodies were humans, none of it was Collectors.

“Where are the bodies of the Collector crew?” Garrus voiced the question Shepard had in mind.

“Something doesn't smell right,” said Zaeed. “There are no Collectors around. Living or dead.”

“Agree,” said Miranda. “Careful, Shepard.”

One of the consoles EDI had requested was up ahead with several pods next to it.

Jacob looked inside one of them. “There's a Collector in this one.”

“Experimenting on one of their own?” The salarian scientist examined its body and shook his head in disapproval. “Despicable.”

Shepard approached a control terminal to establish an uplink. “EDI, I'm uploading the data from this terminal. See if you can figure out what they're up to.”

“Data received,” said EDI. “Analyzing. The Collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity.”

Mordin perked up. “Searching for similarities?”

Shepard checked out the Collector corpse. If there was any similarity between them and humans, she couldn't see it.

“I have no hypothesis on their motivations. All I have are the preliminary results. They reveal something remarkable. A quad-strand genetic structure, identical to traces collected from ancient ruins. Only one race is known to have this structure: the Protheans.”

“My god,” Shepard breathed. “The Collectors are the Protheans!”

“These are no longer Protheans, Shepard,” EDI corrected her. “Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite. The Reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs.”

“So the Protheans didn't vanish. They're just working for the Reapers now,” Miranda concluded.

“Can't wait to see T'Soni's face when we tell her about this...” Garrus mumbled to himself.

“Fifty thousand years... You'd think somebody would have picked up on this by now,” Shepard commented.

“No one has had an opportunity to study a Collector genetic code in this detail,” said EDI. “I have already matched two thousand alleles to recorded fragments. This Collector likely descends from a Prothean colony in the Styx Theta cluster. But there are signs of extreme alternation. Three fewer chromosomes. Reduced heterochromatin structure. Elimination of superfluous 'junk' sequences.”

“Ingenious. Yet, horrible.” Mordin stroke his chin with a shake of his head.

“No species should have to suffer through that,” said Garrus.

“I wouldn't want to live as some kind of mutated slave,” said Shepard. “Killing a Collector is probably doing it a favor.” She tossed another glance at the dead Collector. “Whatever they used to be, they're working for the Reapers now. And we have to stop them.”

“They're not doing to us what they did to the Protheans,” said Miranda.

“I sure as hell won't follow the Protheans to this,” said Jacob.

“Damn straight!” Zaeed nodded. “They aren't doing that shit to us!”

“They won't,” Shepard vowed. “Not on my watch.”

 

* * *

 

There was still no sign of the Collector as they ventured deeper inside the ship. Shepard didn't like the quietness one bit.

“Look – on the ceiling,” Garrus pointed out. “More of those strange pods.”

“There must be hundreds of them,” said Miranda.

“Wonder how many are full,” Mordin pondered.

“Too many,” said Shepard.

“I detect no signs of life in the pods, Shepard,” said EDI. “It is probably the victims inside died when the ship lost primary power.”

“Commander, you gotta hear this,” said Joker. “On a hunch, I asked EDI to run an analysis on this ship.”

“I compared the EM profile against data recorded by the original Normandy two years ago,” said EDI. “They are an exact match.”

“What the...” Shepard stopped in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed. She could feel a spark ignited within. “This is the same ship that destroyed the Normandy?”

“It's been following you for two years?” said Garrus. “They either really love you, Shepard, or really hate you.”

“They killed me,” Shepard replied flatly, but there was a deadly edge to her tone.

Miranda shook her head. “This can't be a coincidence.”

“Something doesn't add up, Commander,” said Joker. “Watch your back.”

“This could be a trap, Shepard,” said Miranda.

The spark had turned into a fire in her belly. Shepard scowled. “I've finally found the ship that killed me. I'm not turning back.” _Not now. Not ever._

 

* * *

 

“That's... big,” Grunt once again described it accurately as he glanced around the inner chamber so massive that it could probably fit the entire fleet inside.

“They could take every human in the Terminus Systems and still not have enough to fill these pods,” said Garrus.

Miranda gasped upon sudden realization. “They're going to target Earth.”

“Not if we stop them,” said Shepard with steely determination.

“There – on the platform. Looks like some kind of control panel,” said Garrus.

“EDI?” said Shepard. “I'm setting up a bridge between you and the Collector ship. See if you can get anything useful from the data banks.”

“Data-mine in progress, Shepard,” said EDI.

“Uh... that can't be good,” Joker mumbled.

The control panel suddenly exploded in front of her. “What the hell?” _Shit, the Normandy!_ “Joker! Status report. Now!”

“Major power surge,” the pilot reported after a few long seconds. “Everything went dark, but we're back up now.”

“I managed to divert the majority of the overload to non-critical systems,” EDI reported.

“We are not alone,” Thane warned quietly with his gun already in his hand. His head turned subtly to either side as if to hear things others couldn't hear.

Then, Shepard saw it from the corner of her eye – a shadow flashed somewhere above them. Shepard glanced up and armed within one second. But there was nothing.

“Shepard, it was not a malfunction,” said EDI. “This was a trap.”

The ground shook all of a sudden. Without further warning, the platform they were standing on took off, hauling them all to an unknown location.

With the control panel destroyed, there was no way Shepard could stop the platform. “We need a little help here, EDI!”

“I am having trouble maintaining connection,” said EDI. “There is someone else in the system.”

_Another AI?_ The platform halted to a sudden stop. Shepard struggled to maintain balance.

“We've got company,” said Miranda, looking at another platform fast approaching.

“Connection reestablished,” said EDI. “I need to finish the download before I can override any systems.”

“Then you'd better get it done fast, EDI,” said Shepard while zooming in with her sniper rifle. Four Collectors. She pulled the trigger before it stopped. One down, three to go.

Another shot was fired from Garrus' rifle. Then from Thane's.

Now down to one.

But that was only one platform, there were more incoming.

Shepard swore under her breath.

“Finally!” said Grunt with a little laugh. “It was getting boring.”

Shepard peeked out of her cover and located one of many Collectors within her scope. Trigger pulled, bullet landed between its eyes.

“And armored one!” Miranda warned and stripped it down with her biotics before Mordin set it on fire.

Shots were fired rapidly on both side, with bullets or biotics.

“Scoped and dropped!” said Garrus.

Shepard wished she could share her turian twin's enthusiasm. There were only nine of them. Nine versus an entire ship of Collectors. By the side of this ship, there could easily be tens of thousands of Collectors lurking around.

“Forty-one-percent complete,” said EDI.

“Come on, EDI. Speed it up!” Shepard ordered as she vaulted over her cover and leaped onto the next platform.

“Assume control,” said a voice Shepard would never forget. “Your world will be our laboratory.”

“Harbinger,” Shepard sneered. “Miranda, take down his barrier!”

“A little busy here!” said Miranda, firing at a drone.

“Here, Shepard.” Samara launched a biotic attack Shepard had seen somewhere before.

_Kaidan. Horizon._ Shepard fired two consecutive headshots with incendiary bullets to take down the weakened Harbinger.

“Releasing control,” said Harbinger as the Collector burned in flame.

As surgical and effective as her sniper rifle was, the Collector came in a pace too fast for her liking. Shepard switched to her assault rifle and stormed onto the enemy's platform, bringing the fight to them.

“How many goddamn platforms do they have?” asked Zaeed as he dodged to reload his rifle.

“Tired already, old man?” Grunt taunted while pumping his shotgun almost too giddy, like a kid in a candy store.

“Taking heavy fire!” Garrus shouted.

“Garrus!” Shepard immediately scanned for those who dared to shoot at her best friend then gave them a dose of their medicine with her own attack.

“Shield's holding,” said Garrus, already rolled to a new location and resumed sniping.

“Assuming direct control.” Harbinger took over yet another Collector.

_Son of a bitch!_ “Samara, the barrier!” Shepard shout.

A blindingly bright biotic attack flew by and hit Harbinger; his barrier was stripped in an instant.

“Need a hand, Shepard?” Garrus set off an explosion on Harbinger's armor before Shepard could answer.

Her bullets took care of the rest.

“Kill one and a hundred will take its place,” Harbinger said his last words before the Collector collapsed.

Mentally blocking his taunts, Shepard was already shooting her next target.

“Eighty-four percent,” EDI announced.

“More incoming,” Thane warned.

“EDI! Get us out of here!” said Shepard.

“I am simultaneously fighting Collector firewalls in over 8,000 nodes,” said the AI. “I am tasked to capacity.”

Shepard swore. Dodging behind a cover, she reloaded her assault rifle and noticed her shield level was dangerously low. Although none of the shots that had been firing at her had penetrated her shield, she could feel every single one of them. But Shepard had to soldier on. If she died here, no one would fight the Collectors, every human would die. Every human, including...

_Kaidan._

This war was personal.

Fueled by fear and anger, Shepard leaped out of her cover and jumped onto the next platform and continued to fight for her life.

Time blurred when she was on the battlefield flirting with death every time she dodged an attack. Shepard had lost count of how many Harbingers she had killed. In the end, it didn't matter. When one went down, the next one took its place all too soon. Same voice, same taunt, same painful attack when it hit her. There was only one way to end this, Shepard knew. She had to find that bastard and kill him once and for all. But first, she had to survive today.

When the last Collector was down, Shepard looked back and realized she was ten platforms away from the original one.

“Download completed,” EDI announced. “Shepard, you must manually reestablish my link to the command console.”

Shepard wouldn't allow herself a second to catch her breath. She holstered her rifle and immediately reestablished a link.

Soon enough, a familiar blue globe popped up on the console. “I have regained control of the platform.”

Shepard let out a breath. “Good work. I knew you wouldn't let us down, EDI.”

“I always work at optimal capacity.”

“Come on!” Shepard waved at the rest of her team. “We'd better get the hell out of here before the next wave arrives.”

“I thought we're going to take down every Collector in this ship,” Grunt sounded disappointed.

“Hell no, I'm too old for this shit!” Zaeed grumbled.

The platform they were on detached itself from the rest and flew them away to safety.

“Did you get what we needed?” Shepard asked the AI as they were zooming across the massive chamber.

“I found data that could help us successfully navigate the Omega 4 relay,” said EDI. “I have also found the turian distress call that served as the lure for this trap. The Collectors were the source. It is unusual.”

“Maybe they sent the initial message as bait,” Shepard reasoned.

“No, it is unusual because turian emergency channels have secondary encryption,” said the AI. “It is corrupted in the message.”

Miranda frowned. “What are you suggesting?”

EDI clarified, “It is not possible that the Illusive Man would believe the distress call was genuine.”

Shepard glanced at her XO, who was – for once – visibly disturbed. “Why are you so sure?” Shepard asked the AI.

“I found the anomaly with Cerberus detection protocols,” said EDI. “He wrote them.”

_GODDAMNIT!_

“He knew it was a trap?” Joker's voice came through the radio. “Why would he send us into a trap?”

“That son of a bitch sent us right into Collector hands!” Shepard punched the platform in fury, leaving a dent on hard surface.

“And here I thought I'd had my betrayal and attempted murder for this year,” Garrus mumbled.

“Why?” asked Grunt with the innocence of a child. “We're part of the Cerberus clan.”

“You are _my_ clan, Grunt,” Shepard told him firmly. “Not Cerberus.”

“No!” Miranda shook her head. “There has to be some other explanation!”

“Miranda's right,” said Jacob. “This is too far, even for the Illusive Man. There's got to be an explanation.”

Miranda seemed too eager to agree with Jacob. “The Illusive Man wouldn't do this to us. He... he just wouldn't!”

“He would! And he has,” Shepard reminded her XO, her voice sharp like a knife. “That son of a bitch used Kaidan and the colonists on Horizon as bait, and sent us in to fight the Collectors.”

Mordin nodded. “Behavior within norms for Cerberus. Not unexpected.”

The platform stopped.

“Uh... Commander,” said Joker, interrupting further arguments. “We've got another problem. The Collector ship is powering up. You need to get out before their weapons come online. I'm not losing another Normandy!”

“And I don't plan on dying again,” said Shepard, jumping off the platform with her rifle already in her hands. “EDI, give us a hand!”

“I do not have full control of their systems,” said EDI. “I will do what I can. Sending coordinates for shuttle extraction. I will guide you to the exit.”

“Come on. Let's move!”

 

* * *

 

“Running low on ammo!” said Grunt amidst the sound of gunshots.

“Make every shot counts,” Garrus advised, sniping away one shot after another.

“Or use your head, son,” said Zaeed after taking down a Collector drone.

Grunt charged and headbutted one of his enemies then smashed the face of another with the butt of his shotgun. “Heh heh heh...”

Even though she didn't voice it, Shepard was facing the same problem. Her supply was running low. Only one clip left. “We're not here to clean this place up. Our priority is to escape.”

“The shuttle has arrived,” said EDI. “You are near the exit, Shepard.”

Finally, some good news.

“Uh, Commander?” Joker's voice came in. “Hate to rush you, but those weapons are about to come online. Might want to double-time it. You know, so we can leave before they blow the Normandy in half.”

“Shit,” Shepard swore under her breath. “Move, people!”

“Around the corner,” EDI guided them through the maze. “Take the door on your right.”

Shepard dashed ahead, but stopped dead on her tracks the moment she cleared the door.

The path was a wide gentle downward slope. And it was filled with husks.

“You've got to be kidding me...” Shepard quickly reloaded her rifle with the last clip and sprayed bullets at the incoming swarm. Ammo conservation was out of the window when she was about to be stabbed to death by the husks.

“Die!” said Grunt as he joined her and incinerated the husks with his shotgun.

Their bullets killed many but not all. The remaining ones charged onward, running over the dead bodies of the fallen husks. By a rough count, there were at least twenty of them, and Shepard was out of ammo.

_Shit!_

An empty gun could still be a weapon if used correctly. Shepard jammed the butt of her rifle into the face of the nearest husk, then swung her gun like a bat and smashed the head of another with enough force to almost decapitate it.

Omni-blade sprang out in a flash. Shepard slashed two husks in one sweep of her arm before stabbing another one in its chest. She then chopped off the head of one that almost sneaked up on her, and sent a spinning roundhouse kick to disable the next in line.

She could probably last all day if they were to come at her one by one. But they didn't. Five husks jumped at her, Shepard barely had enough time to sink her blade into one before she felt the attack of the others.

Suddenly, she heard Grunt's battle cry, then the husks around her stumbled onto the ground. In a moment of confusion, Shepard saw Grunt holding a dead body over his head and tossed it at another group that were rushing towards her. Just like those on the ground, the husks toppled over. Grunt leaped onto the pile of fallen husks and finished them off with his fists while Shepard quickly killed every single one by her boots with her blade before they could recover.

Between stabs and kicks, headbutts and punches, together the veteran and the young krogan cleared the horde before the rest of the team caught up with them.

Last head dropped onto the ground and rolled off the slope. Shepard kicked the freshly decapitated body away and finally lowered her blade.

“Remind me not to piss her off,” Zaeed mumbled to Garrus.

Garrus replied, “And now you know why I always stay on her good side.”

“That was a glorious battle, Shepard!” Grunt laughed happily.

“Good work, Grunt.” Shepard patted the krogan on the shoulder then leaned onto him a bit for support, allowing herself to take a much-needed breather.

But that break didn't last more than two seconds.

Thane twisted his head slightly and concentrated. “Footsteps. Enemies incoming,” the ever-alert assassin warned.

“We're out of time, Commander,” Joker urged. “We have to go!”

“You heard the man!” Shepard retracted her omni-blade and ran down the slope towards the exit. The shuttle was right in front, waiting. “Everyone onto the shuttle. MOVE!”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge

 

The shuttle had docked. Hanger bay sealed. Joker pulled the Normandy away as fast as he could.

“Strap in, people!” said Joker, his fingers danced across multiple consoles rapidly. “Gonna make them work for it this time!”

Rapid footsteps came from behind, Joker didn't need to look to know it was Shepard running to join him on the bridge. He had let his commander down two years ago, he had let his beloved SR-1 down, Joker swore he would never make the same mistake again.

The Collector ship's weapons were powering up. Joker's eyes narrowed.

“Not this time, you assholes. Evasive maneuver!”

The Collector ship fired, the Normandy barely escaped. The ship shook from the shockwave, almost knocking the commander off her feet.

Another attack incoming.

“You're not taking my baby again!” Joker once again dodged the attack. He knew he was good – no, he was the best freaking pilot, but a human could never be faster than an AI. “I can't dodge this guy forever, EDI,” Joker conceded. “Get us the hell out of here!”

“Specify a destination, Mr. Moreau,” said EDI.

_You gotta be shitting me!_ The Normandy shook as it took a slight hit. “Anywhere that's not here!”

“EARTH!” Shepard shouted.

“Very well. Engaging mass effect core,” the AI announced.

And the ship jumped.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Starboard Observation

 

They were heading to Earth...

Earth.

Of all places in the galaxy, why the hell did she yell Earth?

Shepard sat and stared at the stars outside the giant window. Structure weakness, she had once called that window. But now, she appreciated the beauty of it.

Her muscles were sore, her bruises hurt to touch, but Shepard could barely feel the discomfort. Her mind was fully occupied by the blue planet that had been home to both of her parents, by the horror she had witnessed on the Collector ship, and by the fear of the consequence should she fail her mission.

The stake was high, she knew all along. Humanity was at risk, it was do or die. But now she finally realized that the consequence was worse than she'd thought. Humanity would not be wiped out – no, that would be the preferable outcome. Instead, humans would the next Protheans to the Reapers. Mutated, enslaved, and without a mind of their own.

She would rather die than be a mutated slave.

“Bridge to Commander,” said Joker. “Call coming in from the Illusive Man. Figure you've got a few words for him, too.”

Her jaws clenched, her eyes narrowed. A few words, definitely. And if that bastard dared to have a real face-to-face meeting with her, she had a punch waiting for him as well.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“Shepard,” the Illusive Man greeted pleasantly. “Looks like EDI extracted some interesting data before the Collector ship came back online.”

“Cut the act!” Shepard snapped. “EDI told us the distress call originated from the Collectors. You set us up. You'd better have a damn good reason for it.”

“We needed information on the Omega 4 relay. That required direct access to Collector data. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.”

“I warned you after Horizon not to pull this kind of shit on me again!”

“I put you at risk again, yes. But without that information, we don't reach the Collector homeworld. And you and every other human may as well be dead. It was a trap... but I was confident in your abilities. And don't forget EDI. The Collectors couldn't have anticipated her.”

“You could have told me the plan,” Shepard retorted. “I don't like surprises, especially when my ass in on the line! For all the money you've spent to revive me, you sure try hard to get me killed.”

“I needed the Collector to believe they had the upper hand. Telling you could have tipped them off in any number of ways. Besides, I wouldn't have sent you in if I didn't think you could succeed.”

“Never again! You hear me?”

“You may not like being on the receiving end – neither would I – but the facts are with me. As much as we try to avoid them, these decisions need to be made. But more importantly... it paid off. EDI confirmed our suspicions.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow.

“The Reapers and Collector ships use an advanced Identify Friend/Foe system that the relay recognize. All we need to do is get our hands on one of those IFFs.”

_The hell?!_ “I was just on the Collector ship! Why didn't you say anything about finding their IFF?”

“As I said, EDI just confirmed it. Besides, you wouldn't have had time to find and extract it. But we have options.” The Illusive Man reached for his drink casually as if they were merely discussing the weather.

Scowling, Shepard folded her arms across her chest and waited.

“An Alliance science team recently determined that the 'Great Rift' on planet Klendagon is actually an impact crater from a mass accelerator weapon.” He took his time to finish his shot before he continued, “A very old mass accelerator. I sent a team to find either weapon or its target. They found both. The weapon was defunct, but it helped us plot the flight path of the intended target – a 37 million year old derelict Reaper. We found it damaged and trapped in the gravity of a brown dwarf.”

“Another derelict ship?” Shepard was skeptical. “What took this one down?”

“This vessel is a relic from a battle waged while mammals took their first steps on Earth. There's no trace of the species that took that shot. Perhaps it was their one moment of defiance before being wiped out.”

“I get the feeling that this isn't going to be a simple 'swing by and pick up our package.' So what's the catch?”

“We lost contact with Dr. Chandana's team shortly after they boarded. Initial reconnaissance revealed no clues, and it was too risky to commit more resources – but now we need that IFF. I'll forward the coordinates to Joker. In the meantime... I suggest you tell your crew I didn't risk their lives unnecessarily. It will make things easier going forward.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Communications Room

 

“Really? So the Illusive Man didn't sell us out.” Garrus gave her a look. “Come on, Shepard, don't tell me you buy that.”

“Of course not,” Shepard scoffed. “If he tried something like this again, the Collectors would be the least of his problems.”

“Want me to beat him up?” Grunt offered.

Garrus whispered to the young krogan, “Don't encourage her.”

“Lied to us. Used us,” said Mordin. “Needed access to the Collector data banks. Necessary risk.”

“There really wasn't any other choice,” said Miranda. “Let's just hope this IFF works.”

“My analysis is accurate,” said EDI. “I have also determined the approximate location of the Collector homeworld based on navigational data from their vessel.”

A map popped up and EDI moved the cursor to the center of the galaxy.

Shepard stared at it in disbelief.

“That can't be right,” said Miranda, voicing Shepard's concern.

“Better run the diagnostics, Joker,” Shepard told her pilot, she knew he was listening. “Looks like our AI's got a bug in the software.”

“My calculations are correct,” EDI insisted. “The Collector homeworld is located within the galactic core.”

“Can't be,” said Jacob. “The core is just black holes and exploding suns. There are not habitable planets there.”

“Could be an artificial construction,” Mordin suggested. “Space station protected by powerful mass effect fields and radiation shields.”

“Even the Collectors don't have that kind of technology,” said Miranda.

_They don't, but..._ “Sovereign did,” Shepard pointed out. “The Collectors are just servants of our real enemy. And we've all seen what their masters are capable of. They built the mass relays and the Citadel. Who's to say they can't build a space station surrounded by black holes?”

Garrus nodded. “No wonder nobody's ever returned from a trip through the Omega 4 mass relay.”

“The logical conclusion is that a small safe zone exists on the far side of the relay,” said EDI. “A region where ships can survive. Standard relay transit protocols would not allow safe transport. Drift of several thousand kilometers is common, and would be fatal in the galactic core. The Reaper IFF must trigger the relay to use more advanced, encrypted protocols.”

“Just because we can follow the Collectors through the relay doesn't mean we can take them out,” said Thane.

“Sooner or later we need that IFF,” said Jacob. “I say, why wait?”

“It's a derelict Reaper,” Miranda countered pointedly. “What if the Collectors are waiting for us? We may want to build up our team before we take that kind of risk.”

Shepard stared at the core of the galaxy. “We have only one shot. The more people we have on our side, the better our chances of success.”

“I've just received another dossier from the Illusive Man, Commander,” said Miranda. “One you might find interesting.”

“We'll take care of that as soon as the ship is repaired,” Shepard told her XO, then glanced at every one in her team, one by one. “You all know what you've signed up for. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is a suicide mission. I need every one of you to be ready and give me everything you've got. If there's some unfinished business or things you want to settle before we head through that relay, you should get it done soon. Because it might be your last chance. Dismiss.”

“Bridge to Commander,” said Joker. “Approaching Sol System. Where would you like to dock?”

“Anywhere that can fix our ship,” Shepard replied absently. Her eyes remained on the center of the galaxy map.

“Aye, aye, Commander. Sit back and enjoy the rest ride.”  
  


* * *

 

A/N: When a character is so developed, sometimes they surprise you. They have minds of their own, and they might even insist on doing their own thing despite your plan. Aerin Shepard has become such character. In the canon scene, Shepard didn't have a line when they were escaping the Collector ship. But when I wrote that part, Aerin yelled. And she chose Earth.

No big deal, right? I mean, they have to go _somewhere_. Well, not quite.

By choosing Earth, Aerin sets off a giant butterfly effect and completely screws up my plan (I'll explain more in the next chapter). So I tried to change Earth to Illium, where she could meet up with Liara or something. But the entire sequence didn't feel right when she's yelling Illium out of nowhere in the heat of the moment. As weird as it sounds, Shepard refused to say Illium. Forcing her to do so would be out-of-character.

There's ramification to this change of course. A huge one. And I didn't like it at first. But after writing the next chapter and seeing how things unfold (sometimes scenes write themselves, in a way that it plays out all naturally inside my head like a movie and I'm just typing it out), I think Aerin makes the right choice here.

So what Shepard wants, Shepard gets. And to Earth they go...

  
  


  
  



	21. I was Lost Without You

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 20: I Was Lost Without You

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Port Observation

 

“Center of the galaxy,” said Garrus as he poured two drinks and handed one to Shepard. “Landing on a lost planet wasn't exciting enough for you, now we have to find a relay hidden among the black holes. Just one small drift and bam!”

“Joker will get us through,” said Shepard. “Remember the stunt he pulled to drop us down on Ilos?”

“Ah, the good old days – rogue Spectre and C-Sec agent running and gunning outside the line, making it up as we went along. Now we have Miranda and Cerberus and that AI all telling us what we're up against.” Garrus shook his head. “I think I preferred blind optimism.”

Shepard took a sip and felt the liquor warm her throat and her empty stomach. “Honestly, Garrus, what do you think our chances are?”

“Honestly? The Collectors killed you once, and all that did is piss you off. I can't imagine they'll stop you this time.” He sat down next to Shepard and continued in a more serious tone, “But an unmapped area, advanced technology, and the Collectors? We're going to lose people. No way around that.”

Shepard nodded with a deep breath and finished her drink in one gulp.

“Not a happy analysis, I know.” Garrus put a hand on her shoulder then refilled her glass. “Don't worry. I won't spread it around. And I'm with you, regardless.”

“Just like old times, huh?”

“Just like old times.”

Shepard raised her glass to her turian twin in a silent thank you. Garrus mirrored her gesture with a grin. No extra words were needed between two old friends.

“If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow, what would you regret?” asked Shepard quietly after finishing her shot.

Garrus thought for a moment. “Not killing Sidonis.”

“He was your team, Garrus. You sure you want to head down that path?”

He shot her a pointed look. “If one of us here betrayed you and got the rest of us killed, what would you do?”

Shepard sucked in a long deep breath as she ran that scenario inside her mind, and came to only one conclusion. “I'd kill that asshole.”

“There you go.”

“Heard anything from your contacts?”

“No. He's a slippery bastard. But I'll find him.”

“We can ask Miranda to help.”

Garrus hesitated. “You trust her?”

“She can be pretty cold, but she's not that bad once you get to know her. Besides, you don't need to trust her, you only need her connections.”

Garrus took a long drink to think.

“We don't have much time left, Garrus. If you want to find that son of a bitch before we go through the relay, you'll need all the help you can get.”

Eventually, he nodded. “Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll talk to Miranda.”

“You're not getting paid here, at least get something out of it.”

He reached for the bottle and filled both of their glasses then asked, “So, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow, what would you regret?”

Shepard turned her attention to her drink. “Honestly? Not having a chance to live a normal life.”

Her turian twin seemed surprised by the answer. “Normal life? You? You'll get bored by the second week.”

“Maybe...” She twirled her glass absently and watched the amber liquor swirling inside. “But it'd be nice to get up in the morning knowing I wouldn't have to dodge a single bullet. Then go for a jog and come back in time for breakfast with the person I wake up to everyday. Then we'd both start our days and later on meet up for dinner, and spend rest of the evening together...” Shepard flashed a wistful smirk, ending the fantasy she had inside her head. “Rinse and repeat.”

“You never strike me as the type who wants to settle down.”

“Maybe I'm tired of fighting.” Shepard shrugged. “I just want to live a normal life without the Reapers and the Collectors.”

Garrus studied her. “Saving the galaxy twice in two years, not to mention dying in between. That's got to take a toll.”

“Yup. Save the galaxy. Die. Wake up. And do it again.” She gave her best friend a weary smirk. “A quiet life would be a nice change of pace.”

“Bridge to Commander,” came Joker's voice. “Arriving at Earth in ten minutes.”

“Earth?” said Garrus. “I've never been there.”

Shepard raised her shotglass. “Welcome to the birth place of humanity.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Bridge

18:05 Pacific Standard Time

 

The sun was setting, dyeing the white clouds above in a shade of orange. Blue sky had already started to darken, taking on a faint purple tint.

Through the windows of the cockpit, Shepard saw a busy dock as well as the name of the city on a welcome sign.

“Vancouver,” she said in a flat tone.

Of all the cities on Earth, Joker just had to pick Vancouver. Shepard regretted letting him choose a destination.

Joker chuckled rather nervously. “Uh... muscle memories, Commander. Used to fly to the HQ here quite a lot,” he explained. “The ship needs to be repaired, I can't just park in the boonies. I know they have top-notch facilities here, and so... here we are. Nothing but the best for our Normandy, right?”

Shepard merely shook her head. Her pilot was not wrong, she knew.

“Don't worry, the HQ is on the other side of the town. The Alliance won't know we're here,” Joker told her then continued to justify his decision in a ramble, “Besides, we're along the pacific coast. The seafood here? Excellent! And the steaks! I don't know about you, Shepard, but I'm sick of eating lab-grown food. Give me some good ol' fashion dead cow.”

Although Joker was unusually chatty, Shepard still didn't reply. Her mind was somewhere else as she absently observed the dock. She was not supposed to be here. Not by herself, not without him.

“Hey, at least it's not raining today! Heard it rains all the time this time of the year,” Joker continued as if he didn't notice the lack of respond. The pilot stood from his seat with a lazy stretch. “Finally get to stretch my legs. Steak and lobster dinner, here we come.” He headed to the exit, but turned around when he realized Shepard wasn't following. “Come on, Shepard, I'm starving.”

“I'll stay and wait for the maintenance crew.”

“But the steak...”

“I'm not hungry. Go on.”

Joker gave her an odd look.

Shepard frown mildly, confused. “What?”

“Nothing.” Her pilot shook his head. “Uh, you know what? I'll go get the guys – Garrus, Grunt, and everyone on your team. Figured I should show our alien crew around town. I mean, it's good to know what you're fighting for, right? I'm not from here technically, but hey, this is our turf!”

“That's surprisingly thoughtful,” Shepard praised with a nod. “Go ahead. They need a break after what happened on the Collector ship. Put everything on Cerberus tab.”

“And that's why we love you, boss.” Joker grinned happily. “I'm going to get those fancy drinks with an umbrella.”

“Ask for two umbrellas. The Illusive Man is paying.”

“Oh, I will.” He then gave her another odd look. “So, you're gonna be here by yourself, huh?”

“Worried about me?”

“Nah, I'm worried about the ship. It's hard knowing a bunch of strangers are poking around in my ship. I mean... your ship.”

“Our ship,” Shepard corrected him. “There's nothing to worry about. Let the techs do their work.”

“I don't trust those shifty aerospace engineers, always stealing the silverware. Who knows what they'll do when no one's around?”

Draping her arm around Joker's shoulders, Shepard carefully guided her fragile old friend away from his post for a well-deserved break. “I'll keep an eye on those 'shifty aerospace engineers' and make sure no one takes your baby for a joyride. Now, go represent humanity and introduce Earth to our alien friends.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

18:47 Pacific Standard Time

 

There was a soft knock before the door opened. The sound of high-heeled boots had already announced her visitor before Shepard bothered to glance up from the datapad she was reading.

“You're still here?” said Shepard, lounging from the couch.

“So are you,” said Miranda. “I talked to Jack. She has decided to join us.”

Shepard put down her reading material and gave her XO her full attention. “You two okay?”

“I'll tolerate her, for now... And I gave her the files.”

“Thanks, Miranda.”

“Anything for the mission, I suppose.” Miranda then handed her a datapad. “Here's the new dossier I was talking about.”

Shepard took a quick glance, her eyebrow raised up high at the name. “Tali?”

“She doesn't like Cerberus, but given your history with her, there's a good chance she'll help us.”

“What happened between Cerberus and the quarians?”

“Cerberus had a run-in with the Migrant Fleet.”

“Who started it?”

Miranda shrugged. “Both sides will tell you the other side started it. You know how it is.”

Shepard shook her head. “Come on, Miranda, don't give me those bullshit answers.”

The biotic took her time to relax on the couch then revealed, “They were hiding three people we were after. Humans. So we went after them. I wasn't involved in that mission, but I know we didn't get them. The quarians fought us off. And of course, casualty on both sides.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow. “Humans being protected by the Migrant Fleet? That's unheard of.”

“So is a dead Spectre working with Cerberus.” Her XO gave her a tiny teasing smirk. “This world is full of surprises.”

“I think the fact that we're having a pleasant conversation right now could count as one.”

“Don't let the crew know,” said Miranda as her smirk widened ever-so slightly. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

“You know what they say about you?”

Miranda snorted. “Of course I do. 'The Ice Queen.' I like it, actually. Could be worse. Besides, I can use my reputation to my advantage...” She gave Shepard a sly look. “Something you, too, are pretty good at, I've noticed.”

Shepard wasn't going to deny that, but a beep interrupted her before she could respond. Shepard answered the call, “Yes?”

“Hey, Commander,” Joker said cheerfully. “Just checking in.”

“Again.” This was the third time he called in less than one hour.

“You're still on the ship right?”

“Yes, the techs are still here, but no missing silverware. There's nothing to worry about, Joker. Relax. Miranda's here with me.”

Joker gasped. “Oh shit! Forgot about her...”

“Yes, you did. Shame on you,” Shepard chided jokingly.

“Hey, you know what? Tell her to join us. ASAP! I'll send her the address. Like, right now!”

“All right.” Shepard ended the call and turned to her XO. “Joker invites you to the party.”

“A party?”

“Yeah, he volunteered to take the crew out to introduce Earth and humanity to our alien friends. It's just an excuse to party.”

Miranda shook her head, but there was a faint smile on her face.

“Go join them,” said Shepard. “Your boss' treat.”

“The Illusive Man? On whose authority?”

“Mine.” Shepard shrugged. “They fight for us and they're not getting paid. The Illusive Man can pick up a tab or two.”

“Not arguing with that,” said Miranda. “You're not going?”

“No. I want to catch up on some reading.” She waved the datapad in her hand.

Miranda studied her for a moment. Maintaining the perfect poker face, Shepard allowed her XO to look as she reached for her glass of wine on the coffee table.

“You can't lock yourself in your room forever,” said Miranda with a rare soft look in her eyes.

Shepard calmly took a sip and put down her glass before she answered, “I did go out and killed some Collectors. You were there.”

“You know what I mean.” Miranda frowned. “You're not sleeping well. You've been skipping your meals--”

“I appreciate your concern, Miranda,” Shepard cut her off, “but I'm fine.”

“No, you're not,” her XO retorted. “You're emotionally compromised. We have a bloody war waiting for us. You can't allow your personal feelings to interfere with our mission. If we fail, we'll all die, including Alenko.”

“I know that!” Shepard snapped then took a deep breath before she repeated quietly, “I know...”

There was a long silence, although it was not at all icy. Miranda's concern gaze had never left Shepard's face. “Forget about him, Aerin,” said Miranda eventually.

She owed her XO an explanation, not as the leader of their mission, but as a friend. “What we had... I can't just forget about it and pretend it never happened. Give me some time.”

“It's been almost two weeks since you left him at the dock,” the biotic pointed out.

_Twelve days and sixteen hours._ “...I need a little more time. I'll be ready before we go get the IFF.”

Miranda sighed and shook her head. “I wish I had installed that control chip.”

“Yeah, sometimes I wish you had,” Shepard admitted quietly with a wearily smirk. “Too bad there's no on-off switch inside our heads, it'd make both of our lives easier.”

The two women shared a look and reached a silent understanding.

“I'll do what I was brought back to do,” Shepard vowed, her voice was now firm. For humanity? No, her motivation was not that selfless. She would fight to her last breath not just to save the entire human population, but to protect one man. “I'll win this goddamn war. You have my word.”

  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

19:32 Pacific Standard Time

 

A beep pulled her attention from the book she was reading back to reality. Shepard already knew who it was on the other end. However annoyed she might be, she still had to answer the call. “For the hundredth time, Joker, the Normandy is still here. You can stop calling me. Go get your drinks with umbrellas!”

A faint chuckle was the only reply on the other end. She recognized that sound, and it wasn't Joker.

_Can't be..._ Shepard froze.

And then, she heard an achingly familiar voice, “Hey, It's me.”

Datapad slipped from her fingers. _Kaidan?_ Her mouth moved, but there was no sound. 

“Aerin?”

Shepard swallowed hard and regained her composure. “Yeah... I'm here.”

“Look, I know you told me not to contact you, but I've heard about the Collector ship. I just want to make sure you are all right.”

Her answer came too quickly, “I'm fine.” _No, I'm not._

“I'm asking you, Aerin,” said Kaidan soothingly, “not the invincible Commander Shepard.”

She couldn't lie to him, not even from a distance. It took Shepard a few seconds to admit, but eventually she did, “No, I'm not okay.” It felt strangely liberating to say it aloud. It was as though a pressure vault had been cracked open, Shepard couldn't stop. “I went inside the ship that destroyed the Normandy and killed my crew. I died because of it, you suffered because of it. Our plans, our dreams, everything was taken away from us because of it! That same ship took half of the colonists on Horizon, and who knows how many colonies it has destroyed in the past two years. And it's still out there somewhere waiting for a chance to strike again--” Surprised by her own unexpected rant, Shepard put a halt to it rather self-consciously and concluded, “So, no, I'm not all right.”

“Thought so,” Kaidan replied quietly. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

It's an invitation she couldn't refuse.

“It was horrible,” she told him, her voice strained. “The Reapers turned the Protheans into Collectors, and they're planning to do the same to us. Genetically mutated slaves! And that ship... it has so many pods inside, like coffins, enough for the entire human population in the Terminus Systems and then some. ” She paused for a shaky breath. “They're targeting Earth, Kaidan. If I don't stop them-- if I _can't_ stop them...”

“You will,” Kaidan insisted. “I know you, Aerin. I know you'll get this done.”

Shepard breathed out a tired sigh. “Just between you and me, I have no idea how I'm going to do it.”

“Remember when Udina sold us out and grounded the Normandy? You were lost. You didn't know what to do, but you never gave up. You found a way to stop Saren then, and you will find a way to stop the Collectors.”

“That easy, huh?”

“It's not going to be easy, but if there's anyone who could get this done, it's you, Aerin. And you know it.”

Maybe it was his voice, maybe simply because it was Kaidan, Shepard believed every word he'd said.

All that had been bottled up was now released. Shepard suddenly felt drained yet relieved. She leaned back on the couch, exhausted. “I'm sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn't mean to dump all these on you.”

“Whatever you are facing, you are not alone. I'm here for you.”

That warmed her heart more than it should. “Thanks.... I appreciate it.”

“Sometimes you need a shoulder, I remember you told me that.”

_I still do. Especially now._ “Still remember?” Somehow, that meant a lot to her.

“Of course. I remember everything about us. From the first time we met.”

“You were with Joker,” Shepard recalled with a hint of nostalgic smile.

“Yeah. I was starstruck.”

“Really? You didn't seem like it. You were the only one who didn't care who I was. That's when I knew you were different.”

“Left an impression on you, didn't I?” He chuckled a little.

“You sure did.” A tiny smile appeared before she knew it.

“Well, guess my tactic worked.”

“You did all that to impress me? Right from the start?”

Kaidan laughed. “I was playing the long game, Commander.”

Her smile spread. Just when she was about to fire back a retort, Shepard suddenly realized she was dangerously close to flirting. And so she put an end to it before saying things she shouldn't. “Hey, uh. ...I'm glad you called.”

“There's another reason I called,” he told her. “There's something else you need to know.”

“Wait. If you're getting married, I don't want to know,” Shepard claimed half-jokingly.

“What? No! No, no. There's only one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I don't think she'll say yes even if I propose. Not now anyway. She's too busy lately.”

_No, he wasn't talking about you, Shepard._ It was easy to convince herself that, but it was hard to ignore that bitter feeling inside when she imagined him with another woman. “So, what is it?”

“It's about us.”

“Us?” Unconsciously, she started to pace around the room, anxiously waiting for him to continue.

“After seeing you again, things... changed,” he started quietly. “I thought I had moved on, I thought I had finally let you go, but...” He paused for a bit before he continued, “I knew you're hard to walk away from. But now I know it's not just hard, it's impossible.”

“Kaidan...”

“Look, I know you have a war to fight, but whatever happens, I need you to know that... I'm not seeing anyone and that I still care.”

Her head felt light. Shepard slumped down into her bed. “...What about the doctor?”

“Haven't seen her since I left for Horizon. She called and asked me out after I went back to the Citadel,” he confessed, “but I told her about you. Whatever it was – and it wasn't serious – I couldn't continue. It's not fair to her when my heart is somewhere else.”

She heard herself asking the most absurd question, “Where is it?”

“Where is what?”

“Your heart.”

He chuckled at that. “Well, it's been reported stolen more than two years ago. Then died but later on returned with the person who stole it.”

Shepard fell backward and collapsed onto the bed. Her lips curled up in a way they had never been since she had come back from dead. “You should get it back.”

“Nah, I can't, and I don't want to. It's hers, whether she likes it or not.”

Shepard laughed a little. “...I--” _I love you._ “I really missed talking to you.” _And I missed you._

“Me too. We're good together.”

“Yeah,” she admitted quietly. He was the force that had kept her grounded during their fight with Sovereign. He was her solace.

“Listen, Aerin, I just want to have you in my life again, as friends... as more than friends. I mean, I don't know...”

“As friends?” Shepard couldn't ignore that rising disappointment deep inside. “Is that all you want?”

“No. I want us to be back to where we were. But, it's your call.”

It was. It always was.

But she had her path, he had his, Shepard reminded herself blatantly. And her path might be a one-way trip to hell. He had the right to know. “Kaidan, I'm not going to lie to you. This is a suicide mission.”

“Since when has imminent death stopped us?” Kaidan countered. “Last time we headed to a suicide mission on Ilos, the night before, we er...”

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle at the memories. His point was valid.

Kaidan continued to present his argument, “For all we know, the Reapers could come and kill us all tomorrow. Are we not going to live our lives because we're scared of what might happen? Two years, Aerin. We've already lost too much time, I don't want to let time slip by us anymore.”

_ If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow, what would you regret? _

No matter how much she wanted to say yes, she had to give him a way out for his own sake. A final warning. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“I know what I want, and it's never changed,” he answered, his voice was quiet but firm. “What about you? What do you want?”

_You._

Would it really be that bad if she allowed herself to follow her heart for just this once?

_If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow..._

_I'd regret not seeing you one more time and not telling you how I feel._ Shepard stared blankly at the stars above the skylight, wondering if he's looking at the same sky. Then, she heard her heart asking the question her mind was too afraid to ask, “...Are you still in Vancouver?”

“Actually, I'm outside.”

Shepard bolted up from the bed. Her eyes couldn't be any wider. “What? Outside--?” _No, no way._

“Yeah, I'm at the dock,” he replied, seemingly amused by her reaction.

Shepard almost choked. “You're kidding.”

“Terminal 74, right? I'm looking at a ship named Normandy that looks exactly like yours.”

For a fraction of a second, Shepard froze, not sure how to react. Then, her mind relinquished its power and allowed her heart to take over.

“Hang on! Don't move!” Shepard jumped off the bed and dashed out of her room. She then cursed at the speed of the elevator when she was trapped inside. “Don't you dare take one step, Alenko!”

All she could hear was her pounding heart and his faint chuckle.

At last, the elevator stopped. Shepard bolted out of it and sprinted through the empty CIC and down the hall, cleared the airlock and ran through that ridiculously long jet bridge. She rounded the corner and finally saw a sealed gate at the end. When it opened, cool breeze washed over her, welcoming her to the city. It was a busy dock with people saying their hellos and goodbyes. Its retractable roof was left partially opened, revealing the clear starry sky above.

But Shepard cared about none of those. Her first and only priority was to locate one man. She scanned around fanatically, trying to find one particular face among many. The weather was unexpectedly cold. Shepard could see her own breaths forming a series of white puffs escaped from her lips, obscuring her view every other second.

Then she saw him. Standing by the observation deck nearby, waiting patiently as always.

Still not quite believing her own eyes, Shepard approached with a slower pace and stopped just a few steps in front of the man who had been on her mind ever since she'd left him at the dock in the Citadel.

There was no greeting, no pleasantry. None of them spoke. They merely stood there, looking into each other's eyes. Their frosty breaths were the only movements between them. Hers short and rapid, his long and slow.

Then, wordlessly, his gaze dropped from her face down to her body, his eyebrow raised.

It was then Shepard noticed that she was wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts. The polished stone tiles on the floor suddenly felt icy under her bare feet. Cold air slashed her flushed cheeks and her exposed skin. But Shepard wasn't cold, she felt warm from the inside out.

Kaidan closed the gap between them in two strides.

“It gets pretty cold at night.” It was all he said when he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

He was close. Close enough to feel his warmth, close enough to smell him – the same warm, comforting scent that had drawn her in more than two years ago. Shepard waited for a few seconds, giving him a chance to step back if he chose to. But he didn't. Instead, he lowered his head closer to hers.

“You haven't answered my question,” he reminded her softly. “What do you want?”

Words would never be enough. And so she acted, taking his face in her hands and pulling him towards her. What had been buried deep inside was reignited the instant her lips touched his.

His arms sneaked behind her back, pressing her closer to him until the remaining gap between their bodies was erased. The tip of his nose was cold, so were his lips, but she warmed them up quickly. The world around them faded into nothing but white noise as both lost in each other. His jacket slipped and fell from her shoulders, but the chilly night didn't bother Shepard at all. She had Kaidan, and that was enough.  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Shepard helps all her crew with their own personal drama, but who's helping Shep? Joker! That's who. Joker has a “mission completed” on his monitor, and Shepard has a new loyalty outfit.

First, let me answer an anon question. Will the story go AU? Part 3 is definitely going to be AU, right from the start. As for this installment, I didn't plan for it to be AU, then Horizon happened, and now Earth happened. 

Previously I mentioned they were not supposed to come to Earth. Shepard was supposed to continue down a darker, alcoholic path. Shenko reconciliation wasn't supposed to happen until much later. But when Shepard picks Earth and let Joker pick the destination, it creates a chain reaction based on what's already been established. Logically, Joker will pick Vancouver and tell Kaidan because he feels guilty about separating them, Kaidan will act to clear the air because he still loves her, Shepard in turn has no more reason to reject Kaidan further with him being single.

And so, there they are, together again, at least for now.

To those who might be waiting for this to turn into Shakarian: I'm sorry, it was never the plan. While I can see why many Shepards would fall for Garrus, every Shepard is different. In Aerin's case, even if she never reconciled with Kaidan, I don't think she had time or energy left to develop another relationship right after a heartbreak when she's preparing for a war.

Aerin does love Garrus platonically, like her own brother. As it's been stated over again in Shepard's POV, he's her turian twin, and I'm sure there's no Lannister thing going on here. Kaidan, Garrus, and Miranda all fill different corners of Shepard's heart in their own special way, in a way that none of the other two can. That is the foundation of this little trilogy.

Bonus fact for those who have read it this far! Sometimes I have a song stuck inside my head while writing a chapter. Usually the title of the song would be use as the chapter title even though it might not make sense (like “Fly Me to the Moon” for their first date). But not this time. The song that got stuck was actually “Can't Take My Eyes Off You”-- the original Frank Valli's version. The transition part started to play inside my head when Shep jumped from her bed and ran outside the Normandy.

  
  



	22. A Little Piece of Heaven - Part 1

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 21: A Little Piece of Heaven – Part 1

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2

20:05 Pacific Standard Time

 

“How did you know I'm here?” Shepard asked as she returned back to the Normandy to get dressed.

Even though his jacket was too big for her frame, it looked good on Shepard, Kaidan noticed as he walked by her side. “Did you really think I'd let you slip by?”

“You've been keeping track of me?” Shepard seemed amused.

“You didn't tell me not to talk to anyone else on your ship.” It had become increasingly hard for Kaidan to hold back a grin.

“That I didn't,” Shepard conceded. A smile started to spread across her lovely face. “Tell me, who sold me out?”

Kaidan merely gave her a tiny sly smirk without answering as they stepped inside the elevator. She would figure it out soon enough, he knew.

And suddenly her eyes lit up. “Joker,” Shepard concluded. “That's why he landed the ship here and volunteered to take everyone out for dinner. He kept calling me just to make sure I was still here while you were on your way to the dock. I knew he was acting strange!”

He couldn't hold back that grin any longer. “I was supposed to meet you at a restaurant, but Joker called and said you wouldn't go with him. He told me to come here instead. Traffic was bad. I was going as fast as I could.”

She arched an eyebrow, grinning slightly. “How long have you two been planning this?”

“Hey, I didn't tell him to come to Vancouver,” Kaidan protested, laughing. “I didn't even know you're heading to Earth until you're already in the Sol System.”

“I told him to head to Earth,” Shepard said with an air of nonchalance which he knew was just a front. “The Collector ship was chasing us, and EDI needed a specific destination before she could switch to FTL.”

“That's it, huh? Too bad... I thought you just wanted to see me.”

She glanced at him with a smile that melted his heart. “Maybe...”

He would kiss her then and there, but the elevator stopped. “Perfect timing,” he told her as he followed her into her room. “I have to leave in two days.”

The smile that had been on her lips vanished instantly. “What? Where are you going?” Shepard didn't bother to conceal her disappointment, and for that, Kaidan was glad. She never had to hide in front of him. Not before, not now.

“Arcturus. I've to take a crash course in teaching.”

And just as quickly, a grin reappeared on her face once more. “You've accepted Anderson's offer?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I hope I'd give those young biotics an opportunity I didn't have.”

“An army of deadly biotics will certainly help.” Shepard slipped off his jacket and handed it back to him then headed to the closet. “How long are you going to stay in Arcturus?”

“The course is only three weeks.” He followed her further into the room. “After that, I'll have start recruiting.”

Shepard turned and stared at him with a smile of sheer pride. That warmed his heart more than anything. “Those kids are lucky to have you as their teacher.”

“Yeah, well...” He chuckled a little. “We'll see about that.”

“When do you have to report back to the HQ?”

“1300 hour, the day after tomorrow.”

A tiny frown settled on her face after she glanced at the clock. “...We have only forty-one hours left.”

“Hey...” He took a step closer and put his hands on her shoulders. “We still have time.”

“So, you'll be all mine for forty-one hours?”

“For now.” He touched the side of her face gently. “When things settle down a bit, we'll extend the term to forever, how does that sound?”

The corners of her lips began to curl up again. “Forever? That's a long time. You sure?”

“Forever or until you're sick of me,” he revised jokingly.

“Remember the deal we made two years ago?” Shepard suddenly asked. “At the end of our shore leave?”

“On the floor of the hotel room?” he added with a nostalgic chuckle. “Yeah... of course I remember. We made a deal to spend the rest of our lives together.” He'd been able to see a future with her then – a future that had been ripped away from him only days later. But now, it's once again here. It felt almost surreal.

“Is... it still valid?” There was a slight hint of uncertainty in both her tone and her eyes.

“It is if you want to.” He let her choose; he always did.

The smile that slowly spread on her face was sweet, although it didn't last long. Shepard nodded and released a long breath. “Can't wait for this war to be over.”

Her face was pale, the circles under her eyes were dark. Shepard was exhausted, he could tell, and it was beyond physical exhaustion. Kaidan gently pulled her close and hugged her.

“I don't want to work with Cerberus, Kaidan,” Shepard said quietly, leaning against him for support. “I don't trust them. The Illusive Man has already set us up twice. Every instinct I have tells me to run, but I can't. I just want to get this over with-- I just... want to go home.”

How far would he be willing to go to save the woman he loved from hell? That was a question he had been asking himself for the past two weeks. And he had found his answer: As far as going straight to hell itself just to get her out... “If you want, I can ask for a sabbatical--”

“No,” she answered too quickly. He could feel her muscles tensed before she pulled back enough to look straight in his eye. “No. I don't want you to get involved.” Her voice was firm, leaving no room for negotiation.

It was all to protect him, he knew, but who would protect her? “You can't trust Cerberus to watch your back, Aerin.”

“I have Garrus, Joker, and Chakwas. And my team are the people I've recruited, they're not with Cerberus, except for Jacob and Miranda.”

“Joker told me you're heading to the center of the galaxy. You'll need all the help you can possibly get.”

“I know...” Her tone once again softened. With a tired sigh, Shepard buried her face on his shoulder. “I don't want to think about it, not right now.”

As concerned as he was about the war she's fighting, Kaidan didn't want to push her. This was her break, a much-needed getaway from all her troubles and responsibilities. And he'd provide her that safe haven to relax, even if it would only last for forty-one hours.

“Well, maybe you should start thinking about what you want to do in the next two days.” He tightened his arms around her. “Last time we were on shore leave, we spent more than half of the time in the hotel room.”

Those memories brought a faint chuckle from her. “We did...” She then mumbled, “I missed you.”

Smiling, he gave her a kiss on top of her head. “I missed you, too. You have no idea...”

She merely made a non-committal noise as she started to nuzzle the side of his neck.

“We have a forty-one-hour date waiting for us,” Kaidan reminded her, trying to distract himself from the ticklish feeling as her lips and her breaths brushed his skin. “Want to start with dinner?”

Shepard lifted her head and looked at him. Her eyes were as blue as he remembered, shining rather brightly under the dim ambient light. “No. I want you.”

It was a request he couldn't possibly deny, especially when it echoed the very same desire he had been actively trying to suppress. Her lips were on his before he could reply, and he returned the kiss with the same passion as they both had a moment ago at the dock. Now, finally alone, nothing else could hold them back, not even the Reapers could tear them apart. Her hands moved quickly to untuck his shirt and undo his belt, removing the layers of his outfit piece by piece, while he had a much easier time with hers – her tank top and shorts slipped right off.

Time seemed to have faded away and they were back to two years ago, back to their last shore leave. The galaxy didn't matter, nothing else mattered, as he found himself lost in the woman he had always loved, even through her long absence. The taste of her lips, the scent on her skin, the sounds of her quicken breaths and soft gasps, those were all he lived for at this very moment. Aerin was back, and she was his once more, as he was hers, just as it should be.

At long last.

 

* * *

 

Location: Vancouver, Downtown

22:43 Pacific Standard Time

 

For the first time in more than two weeks, Shepard felt hungry – no, she was starving.

When her steak sandwich arrived, Shepard wolfed it down like a famished krogan. But that didn't faze Kaidan, not even the slightest. More than anything else, he seemed to find her unusual appetite amusing. He simply ordered another one for her, then proceeded to steal half of it when the plate arrived.

Stealing food from each other's plates was one of the many little silly things they had secretly developed between them. Secretly was the keyword. No one would expect such behaviors from the straight-laced professional biotic and the stoic legendary war hero. But when they were together off-duty, the strangest thing would happen: He would loosen up, while she would drop her mask. They'd long accepted each other for who they really were – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It had been that way more than two years ago, and it was still the same tonight.

And because of that, Shepard could finally be herself. Not the commander who had saved Citadel, not the recently-resurrected leader of a suicide mission. But just Aerin. And getting in touch with the person she used to be, releasing a side of her she had long forgotten, it was absolutely liberating.

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped out of the restaurant, and watched as her breath form a white puff in front of her eyes.

Although far from empty, the streets were relatively quiet at this hour. Lights from the storefronts illuminated their path as they walked hand in hand. It reminded her of the late night strolls they had taken in the Citadel during their shore leave. Unlike the Citadel, there was no constant temperature control, no artificial light in the sky. And Shepard found it all the more charming. Stars twinkled upon the dark backdrop of the night sky, but it was the moon that had captured her attention.

It wouldn't take long for Normandy to reach the Earth's only satellite, and Shepard had been there more than a few times. But from here, looking up into the sky, the view was mesmerizing. She could see why people had been drawn to it for thousands of years.

Kaidan followed her gaze. “What are you looking at?” he asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze to catch her attention.

“Haven't seen the moon from this end for a long time.”

“When was the last time you were back on Earth?”

“Just before I reported to the Normandy for duty. I arrived at the HQ in the morning and left by sunset. Missed the moon during my last trip,” she told him lightly, her eyes remained on the glowing orb in the sky for a moment longer. “My parents grew up on Earth, but it's never really my home. The longest I've stayed here was in Rio de Janeiro, and that was for training.”

“The ICT program?”

Shepard nodded then turned to him with a grin. “Some of the best – and worst – times of my life. The training was brutal but the parties...” Her grin widened. “They have the best bars on this planet, and the most beautiful women.”

“Well, you were there, so...” He flashed an easy smile.

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him with a teasing smirk. “Are you flirting with me?”

“If you have to ask, I'm clearly out of practice.”

She laughed.

He stopped then tilted his head down to hers and whispered in her ear, “We have two nights. You'll have to let me practice...”

That sent a shiver down her spine. She turned her head towards him before he could lean back, the tip of her nose almost touched his. “We have two nights, and you are mine. The things I'll do to you...”

She could hear him taking a sharp breath.

Grinning, Shepard stepped back and announced, “And that's how you flirt.” She continued her path down the street, laughing. “We don't have much time, Alenko. You've to kick it up a notch.”

With her hand still in his, Kaidan pulled her back and trapped her in his arm. The second Shepard regained her balance, she found his lips were already on hers, demanding a taste of her. Her mouth opened to his. Soon enough, her knees became weak, her heart pounded rapidly inside her chest. A faintest moan unconsciously vibrated inside her throat, and that was when he stopped.

Cool air stung her flushed cheeks when he pulled away. Dazed from the kiss, it took her a few seconds to return back to reality.

“Should I dial it up even higher, Commander?” That tiny smirk he gave her melted her more than she would ever admit.

That man learned fast, she reminded herself. It was one of the many reasons why she loved him.

Although still breathless, Shepard managed to regain her composure. “Do it and I'll rip your clothes off right here, right now.”

He chuckled then landed a tender peck on her forehead. “We should head back before that happens.”

She followed him, laughing for no reason other than feeling genuinely happy. Her hand remained in his protective one, warming up each other in this chilly night. For the first time since she'd opened her eyes in the laboratory, Shepard felt alive. Truly alive.

 

* * *

 

Location: Vancouver, Kaidan's Apartment

8:24 Pacific Standard Time

 

Kaidan felt a weight on his shoulder when he started to regain consciousness. Something warm pressed against his side. Kaidan opened his eyes and saw a mop of tangled dark hair lying on his chest. He smiled.

He remembered this feeling of Shepard resting her head on him, sleeping peacefully through the night. Sometimes, his arm would fall asleep underneath her body, but Kaidan had never minded for a bit. If he could provide her a moment of peace, that slightest discomfort was just a minor inconvenience.

Soft breaths brushed against his skin, tickling him ever-so slightly. Kaidan remained still and enjoyed this blissful moment a little longer. His eyes scanned around the room idly, still not too familiar with the sight that had been greeting him every morning for the past week.

He had only moved into this new apartment ten days ago. Everything had been arranged for him by the Alliance, but Kaidan knew the person pulling the strings behind this special treatment was none other than Anderson. The councilor had given Kaidan absolutely no reason to refuse his offer. A raise, a promotion, and a new place, all to attract him to the position Anderson had set him up for months ago.

Although the apartment wasn't big, it was nicely furnished with an excellent view to the city. It had everything he would need and then some. But still, this place never felt like home. Until now.

And he knew the reason why.

It was Aerin. Home was where she was, whether it was on the Normandy or in this apartment. The missing piece in his life was back, and he was now completed.

Planting a kiss on the top of her head, Kaidan then carefully untangled himself from her. Shepard stirred then rolled to her other side and continued to sleep.

Kaidan glanced at the sleeping form next to him and smiled contently to himself. If she wanted to sleep in for the rest of the day, he would gladly stay by her side.

As long as they were together, that's all that mattered to him.

 

* * *

 

8:52 Pacific Standard Time

  
  


The smell of coffee woke her up.

Shepard cracked open one sleepy eye. Sunlight seeped through the window shades and filtered into the room. Shepard flipped to lay on her stomach and buried her face onto the pillow, and continued the best sleep she had since... since forever.

After a few seconds delay, her hazy mind finally told her something was off. Sunlight. Windows... Shepard rolled back onto her back and reluctantly opened her eyes to confirm what she had seen. This wasn't her room in the Normandy. Then she remembered last night, she remembered where she was. One arm stretched to the other side of the bed, blindly searching for a firm body, but there was none.

Irrational panic flashed by for a fraction of a second, waking her up further. Shepard looked beside her. It was empty.

Then, a soothing voice greeted, “Hey... Good morning.”

She followed the warm greeting and found Kaidan sitting behind his terminal with a coffee mug in his hand and a smile on his face. His hair was damp from a recent shower, loose shirt and pants hid the well-toned muscles underneath them. He looked more relax than ever.

If only she could wake up to this everyday.

Abandoning the comfortable pillow, Shepard sat up and stretched lazily. “Morning...”

The warm blanket fell to her waist. His gaze followed suit and dropped from her face. Shepard then remembered she was wearing absolutely nothing under the sheet. Hiding a laugh, she let him stare for a few second longer before she patted on the bed, wordlessly summoning him back to her.

With a chuckle, he put down his mug and went to retrieve a shirt from the dresser and handed it to her. “I... don't mind if you walk around like this – although it's extremely distracting. But er... in case you want to check out the view of the city from here--”

Shepard cut him off by grabbing his arm and pulling him down. Kaidan fell and landed on top of her. Her arm locked behind his back to keep him from moving. Her free hand reached up, fingers brushed through his damp hair, her nose buried on the crook of his neck.

“You smell nice,” she mumbled.

He laughed a bit. “Well, thanks...”

“What time is it?” she asked, idly kissing the side of his neck.

“Almost nine.”

“Nine?” Shepard groaned and slumped back onto the pillow. “Why didn't you wake me?”

He stared into her eyes, amused. “You were tired last night.”

“We only have twenty-eight hours left.”

“We _still_ have twenty-eight hours left,” he calmly corrected her then kissed her softly before she could complain further.

If this was a dream, Shepard would never want to wake up.

But she could taste the coffee on his lips, she could feel his weight pressing down on her. This wasn't a dream, she told herself. This was real. And Kaidan was real.

Shepard pulled the blanket away and peeled his shirt off, getting rid of the barriers between them, then rolled off her back and pinned him down underneath her. He only chuckled, offering no resistance. She decided to move her attention elsewhere. To his cheek, to his neck, to his shoulder, and down. Her hand ventured ahead of her lips and found the waistband then disappeared under it. Within seconds, she heard a quiet gasp as a faint blue glow pulsed from his skin for a second.

Shepard grinned.  
  


* * *

 

11:16 Pacific Standard Time

 

Stepping out of the bathroom with a towel still in her hand, Shepard finally had a chance to take a good look at the apartment while drying her hair. Last night she had been too distracted by Kaidan to notice anything else beside him.

Kaidan handed her a cup. “Careful, it's hot.”

The smell alone told her it's not coffee. Shepard peeked inside the mug and smiled happily when she confirmed it was indeed a cup of hot chocolate. “You have this stock up in your kitchen?”

He gave her a smile and a soft kiss on her cheek. “In case you stop by.”

That was sweeter than the drink itself. Tearing her attention away from him, Shepard looked around.

“Nice place,” she commented. “Anderson's doing everything he can to keep you in Vancouver.”

Given his history, his experience, and his temperament, Kaidan was the perfect candidate to head the biotic division. If she were her mentor, Shepard would've done the same to sweeten the pot just to get the perfect man for the job. Accept no substitute, as Anderson had told her. And it was a principle Shepard had subscribed to for years.

“That's not all...” Kaidan revealed as he poured himself a new cup of coffee. “This new position comes with a promotion.”

“Another one?” Shepard's eyebrows shot up then quickly recalled the ranking system. “You're climbing that ladder faster than anyone I've known. Congratulations, Major.”

“Major, yeah...” Kaidan chuckled a little and shook his head. “Sometimes I miss being the lieutenant. Things were much easier back then, you know.”

“When killing Geth is considered easier, you know just how bad things are.” Shepard took a sip from the warm mug. The chocolate was perfect – creamy and not too sweet. “...This is good! I should probably stock this up.”

Just then, a very familiar picture nearby caught her attention. Shepard picked up the frame and stared at a little girl with the same blue eyes as hers. Wearing an adult-sized Alliance hat too big for her little head, the girl glared at the camera with the most serious face a five-year-old could muster.

“Where did you get this?” Shepard asked, still staring at her younger self.

“Captain Shepard sent it to me,” Kaidan explained.

Yet another surprise this morning. “My mom?”

“We met at your... er, memorial service,” he told her as he joined her with his coffee. “She asked me if there's anything of yours I'd like to keep. I asked for this picture.”

Shepard glanced at him curiously. “Why did you choose this picture?”

“Remember you showed it to me when you were injured in the med bay?”

“Yeah. And you're the only one I've ever shown that picture to,” Shepard recalled and put the frame down.

A warm grin suddenly appeared on his face.

“What?” Shepard narrowed her eyes slightly at him in suspicion.

For a moment, he didn't answer but hid a smile behind his mug while he took a sip of his coffee.

“Kaidan,” she urged with a tone that would get her what she wanted.

“Because when you showed me that picture...” He leaned close and lowered his head next to hers and whispered, “That's the exact moment I started to fall for you.”

Caught off-guard by his unexpected confession, Shepard froze for a second as he gave her a soft peck on her cheek before he walked away as though nothing had happened.

The sweetest smile broke through her defense and spread on her lips. After two years and one death, they remained very much in love.

Aerin Shepard was the luckiest woman alive.

 

* * *

 

Location: Vancouver, Granville Island

13:48 Pacific Standard Time

 

Kaidan studied her profile as Shepard leaned over the fence and glanced at the water with a content smile on her face. His scarf was wrapped around her neck, and her hand in his was sufficiently warm. But the air still flushed her cheeks in a lovely shade of pink. Although the sky wasn't exactly sunny, Shepard didn't seem to mind the gloomy weather. Neither did Kaidan. She was here with him, and that was enough.

Even though he could feel her fingers curling around his, at times, it still felt like a dream. A dream they had once shared, a dream that had been shattered, and now it had finally come true. He had a chance to show her around his hometown, as he had promised so long ago.

And Kaidan knew this second chance was given not only by Joker who had delivered Shepard right on his doorstep, but, ultimately, by Cerberus who had brought her back in the first place.

“You know, I've been thinking...” Kaidan started quietly.

“Uh-oh.” Shepard faked a horrified look. “Okay, hit me with it.”

“About Liara.”

“What about her?”

“You said she took your body from the Shadow Broker, and she handed it to Cerberus.”

Shepard nodded. “Cerberus offered to revive me. She... she couldn't let me go.”

“She loves you.”

“It's not like that,” Shepard explained quickly. “She's a good friend. Whatever feelings she had for me, that was three years ago.”

“I know. Believe me, I understand how she feels,” he reassured her calmly. “You are very hard to walk away from, Aerin. I know that too well. We both love you, and... well, I was-- I am the lucky one.”

“Kaidan...”

“I was just thinking what I would do if I found your body, if Cerberus offered me that deal.”

“You would bring me back to the Alliance for a proper funeral,” said Shepard without a hint of doubt in her voice.

“I thought so, too. But, the more I think about it, the more I wonder.”

“You'd do what you think is right,” she insisted.

“But what is right?” he asked her. “Keeping Cerberus away from you and giving up any hope to revive you, or handing you over to them but knowing they'll use you somehow? I don't know anymore.” He shrugged. “What I'm saying is, the heart is a complicated thing. It'd make you do things you never thought you'd do for the person you love.”

Shepard reached up to cup his face, her touch was soft, so was her gaze. Her free hand wasn't as warm as the one he had been holding.

Kaidan continued, “If Liara didn't hand your body over to Cerberus, I'd never see you again. I... I guess I'm grateful that she did what she did.”

Shepard studied him for a brief moment then concluded with a shake of her head, “I don't think you'd hand me over to Cerberus.”

“Why's that?”

“Because you love me too much and you know me too well. You know if I had a choice, I'd rather stay dead than to wake up at a Cerberus lab. You'd rather protect me and carry the guilt yourself than to go against my wish.”

All was true. Kaidan was glad that she knew him so well. “Yeah, you're right. But I've done many things I had never thought I would do because of you.” He gave her a teasing smile. “Fraternization, stealing a prototype warship...”

“Fraternization while on board a stolen prototype warship,” Shepard added, laughing. “What were you thinking, Alenko? You're supposed to be the level-headed one to keep me in line, not my partner-in-crime.”

“Well, like Pascal said, the heart has its reason, which reason cannot know.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. “Did you just quote Blaise Pascal?”

He grinned a little.

“And here I thought I couldn't possibly love you more.” She stole a kiss from him then turned her attention back to the view in front of them.

Chuckling, Kaidan put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Shepard relaxed against him and rested her head on his shoulder. Despite the cloudy sky, it was the most beautiful day he'd seen in years. And he knew it was all because of Aerin.

After two years and countless sleepless nights, he was given a second chance to be with the woman he had always loved.

Kaidan Alenko was the luckiest man alive.

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: The title is a throwback to the happiest Shenko chapter in part 1 called “Heaven” where they had their shore leave mentioned in this chapter.

This chapter has become a monster in length, so I'm cutting it into two parts. The conclusion to their forty-one-hour date coming up next time. My eyes are already crossed from editing this.

If I could, I would rather spread all the Shenko stuff evenly across the story, sprinkle some here and there. I hate to give you a strong dose of fluff like this all at once, but their time is limited. I mean, honestly, what would you do if you just reunited with someone you had lost for two years, and all you two had was 40 hours? Who knows when they'll see each other again? So there you have it, Shepard and Alenko reignited – way ahead of schedule, and way more fluff than I intended.

I'd like to take a moment to thank all those who left me a note. I don't get paid for writing this, but knowing there are people out there reading all these (quarter of a million words so far from part 1 until here!) and enjoying the story is better than being paid with money. It's the best reward I could ask for. So thank you! I usually send a long thank you note back to each of you (I really appreciate the support that much, I'm not even kidding), but to the anon who left the reviews, this one is for you. Glad the story makes you happy!

  
  



	23. A Little Piece of Heaven - Part 2

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 22: A Little Piece of Heaven – Part 2

Year: 2185CE

Location: Vancouver, Kaidan's Aparment

19:05 Pacific Standard Time

 

The chocolate started to melt in her mouth. The creamy texture and the scrumptious taste reminded Shepard of her childhood at one space station or another, savoring candies her father had ordered for her from Earth. When was the last time she had some chocolate? Two years ago during their shore leave, Shepard recalled fondly. Kaidan had bought her a box after her idle comment about chocolate and her childhood. And today, he had surprised her with yet another box.

The chocolate was sweet, but not as sweet as than the man in front of her.

“You sure you don't want me to help?” Shepard asked again.

“Just sit back and relax,” Kaidan told her. “Let me impress you.”

“You already have.”

Sitting on the bar stool with a box of chocolate on the counter, Shepard idly observed the busy man in the kitchen preparing for their dinner. She could almost envision their future – a normal life settling down somewhere, perhaps even here in Vancouver. This was the secret dream she had told Garrus, only now her vision was completely clear with the face of her other half revealed.

“Come here,” she beckoned, holding out a piece of chocolate over the counter.

Kaidan spared a moment and gave her his full attention, as he always did. He glanced at the box with a teasing smile. “You've finished half already?”

“I'll find some ways to burn off the calories. And you will help me.” Shepard stretched her arm and waved the candy. “So here, you'll need this.”

He merely chuckled and leaned over the sink and took the waiting chocolate in his mouth. Satisfied, Shepard relaxed and enjoyed the momentary bliss. Until a call interrupted them.

Well, not hers, at least. Shepard had switched off everything the moment they'd left the Normandy last night. If she only had forty-one hour with Kaidan, she'd be damned if she let anyone disturb her shore leave. The galaxy could wait, right now he was the most important thing in her world.

Kaidan answered the call then glanced up at her as he listened to the other end. “Yeah, she's here with me.”

“Joker?” Shepard guessed. Who else would know they were together?

Kaidan nodded at her question then replied to their friend on the other end, “Yeah, I owe you one.” Then came a slight pause. “What?!” He suddenly laughed. Shepard swore his face turned the slightest shade of pink. “You've to ask her.”

Shepard frowned in confusion. “Ask me what?”

Kaidan ignored her question meanwhile, although Shepard spotted the cheekiest smile she had seen on him just before he turned and hid his face away from her. “No, I'm not going to ask!” he told their friend, chuckling. “Hang on, Joker, I'll put you on speaker. If you want, you can ask her.”

“Can't you make the call?” Joker's voice came through the speaker, “It's yours--”

“What's his?” asked Shepard.

“Shit-- Uh, hey, Commander!” Joker answered all too cheerfully. Shepard knew that tone, he had just done something behind her back, something she wouldn't like.

“What are you guys talking about?” Shepard demanded.

“Nothing!” His pitch was a bit too high.

“Nothing, huh?” She glanced over at Kaidan, who still had a smirk on his face as he reached for the pepper in the pantry. If she needed to interrogate either of those two men, she would start with the one in the closest proximity. Shepard decided to let her pilot slide for now. “How's the Normandy?”

“She's good to go,” said Joker, back to his normal tone. “Oh, and Miranda was looking for you.”

“Tell her to relax and enjoy the rest of the shore leave. I'll be back tomorrow.”

“She knows where you are.”

Shepard scowled. “You told her?”

“Not me!” said Joker. “Okay, Shepard, don't get all murderous, but I've just found out that Miranda has put a tracker on you.”

Kaidan looked at her, alarmed.

“Did they really implant a tracker inside me?” Shepard vaguely recalled Miranda had mentioned something like this once.

“It's not an implant, it's your omni-tool,” Joker told her. “I, uh, accidentally overheard Miranda telling Jacob she's found you through your omni-tool. I told her you're probably visiting an old friend in town so she wouldn't kick down a door and launch a rescue.”

Along with the rest of her gears, the omni-tool had been handed to her the very day she had escaped from the Lazarus facility. Putting a tag on her in case she ran away and disappeared, it sounded like a precaution Miranda would take.

“They've to keep an eye on their four-billion-credit investment, somehow,” said Shepard, glancing at the device at her wrist.

Strangely, she wasn't too upset about being tracked. To Cerberus, she was a weapon; her entanglement with the Illusive Man would only be at this superficial level, but never deeper. She was only here to hold up her end of the deal and end the war.

“I can disable it for you,” Kaidan suggested.

“No, they'll find another way to track me,” said Shepard. “Next time, it might be a non-removable one. What I need to do is to finish off the Collectors asap and cut my ties with Cerberus once and for all.”

Kaidan nodded, giving her a silent support that she needed.

“Joker, tell the crew we're taking off tomorrow,” Shepard ordered. “Have everyone report back to the ship by 1400 hour.”

“Yes, ma'am,” her pilot replied. “Where to next?”

“To the other end of the galaxy,” said Shepard. “Far Rim.”

Kaidan frowned lightly. “Geth space?”

“Relax, I'm not there to clean up the Geth,” Shepard told him. “I'm heading there to get Tali.”

“Finally, another friendly face,” commented Joker. “Er, face behind a mask.”

“What's Tali doing over there?” Kaidan asked.

“That's what I'm going to find out,” said Shepard. “Joker, make sure our ship is ready. It's going to be a long trip.”

“Aye, aye, Commander. See you!”

Reality called, tomorrow they'd both have to leave. Shepard glanced at the clock, less than eighteen hours left. She swallowed a sigh.

“Hey...” Kaidan caught her attention. “We still have time.”

Popping another piece of chocolate into her mouth, Shepard nodded then asked the burning question on her mind, “So what did you two talk about just now?”

“What? Oh that...” Kaidan tried to hide a grin but Shepard spotted it before it disappeared. “Er, well, it's nothing.”

“Kaidan...” she urged him in a tone she knew would get her what she wanted.

And it worked like a charm. After a few seconds worth of struggle, Kaidan caved in and revealed, “Joker wants us to name our first kid after him.”

“What?!” Shepard raised an eyebrow at that ridiculous idea then blurted out without thinking, “Are you kidding? Hell no! Jeff Alenko? No, no way! What if it's a girl?”

He studied her, amused. “You know, I can't help but notice that you're only saying no to the name, but not the idea of having a kid.”

His observation caught her off-guard. _Me? A mom?_ For the first time in her life, Shepard considered that option. Somehow, that thought didn't terrify her. Her lips twisted up unconsciously when she pictured a toddler in a mop of jet black hair holding a toy Normandy, stumbling around the house.

Perhaps her secret dream could accommodate a tiny little addition.

“Am I right?” His voice ended her reverie.

“I don't know...” she teased with a straight face. “It depends.”

“On what?”

“How many do you want?”

“What?” His eyes widened at the sudden question. “I... er, well, I've never thought about it. I mean, I don't know...” His grin couldn't be sweeter as he considered. “You know, I've always wondered what it's like to have a brother or a sister. So, two, maybe?”

While she wasn't sure what kind of mother she would be, Shepard was more than certain Kaidan would be a good father. A smile crept its way through her defense, ruining her poker face. “Let's start with one first,” said Shepard, trying hard not to laugh. “But before that, we have to get rid of the Collectors and the Reapers.”

“Definitely. Wouldn't want our kids to live in a world with constant fear.”

_Our kids..._ Shepard liked the sound of that.

Kaidan continued, “Now, where are the Collectors and the Reapers? Let's go kick their asses so we can get on with our lives.”

“Good idea,” said Shepard as she left the comfortable bar stool and joined him in the kitchen. “But first, we need to make sure you don't burn our dinner.”

“Come on, Aerin, I know how to--”

Shepard merely nodded at the frying pan, the garlic had already turned into a shade darker than it should.

Kaidan swore under his breath as he quickly removed the pan away from the heat. “Sorry. I was distracted.”

“Don't blame me. I'm not even naked.”

“If you were, I'd have burned down the house.”

Chuckling, she gave him a peck on his cheek then proceeded to help while he was busy at the stove.

“Do I get a kiss every time I burn our food?” Kaidan asked.

“Only the first time,” said Shepard as she opened a bottle of wine. “Next time you burn my dinner, I'll assign you to kitchen duty for the rest of the month.”

He laughed. “Aye, aye, ma'am.”

 

* * *

 

21:18 Pacific Standard Time

 

Traveling came with his job, whether it was for a boring assignment or a dangerous mission, a short tour on a ship or an extended stay at a remote colony. Since he had joined the fleet, Kaidan had become an expert in packing. Fast, efficient, and neat, it was a skill Kaidan had honed to perfection. But tonight, it took him much longer to pack, all because of the lovely distraction currently sitting on his bed.

With her long legs folded underneath her, Shepard sat in the middle of the bed, hugging a pillow comfortably. She looked more relaxed than ever, and most of all, contented. Kaidan couldn't be happier.

There were many other things he would rather be doing right now than packing for his trip to Arcturus. But still, it had to be done, and he might as well get it out of the way before he enjoyed the rest of the evening with Shepard. They might even have time to go for a walk.

“Don't forget your guns,” Shepard reminded him. “Pistol, rifle. Everything.”

Looking up from his bag, Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her, amused by her suggestion. “I'm there for training, Aerin, not to fight.”

She shrugged. “What if the Collectors attack?”

“Attacking the headquarters of the Alliance Navy?” He shook his head with a chuckle. “I don't think the Collectors are that stupid. The Fifth Fleet is there. Besides...” Suddenly his hand glowed in blue as he reached out to steal her pillow remotely with his biotics. “...I don't need a gun to fight.”

“Hey! Give it back,” Shepard protested, jumping off the bed, reaching for her stolen pillow.

He held it out of her reach then trapped her in his arm when she was close enough.

Shepard continued to reach for it, struggling in his arm. “Give me back the pillow.”

Kaidan faked a hurt look. “Did you just choose the pillow over me?”

There was a lovely smile playing on her lips as she wrinkled her nose at him. “It's a nice pillow. Better than the ones I have on the ship.”

Her face was close, he could kiss her if he tilted his head down a bit. “You can bring it back to the Normandy.”

“I'd rather bring you back,” she blurted out.

And the truth came out.

She froze in his arms. Her eyes widened in horror upon realization of what she had accidentally let slip, while his teasing smile slowly morphed into a tender look. She wanted him by her side, despite what she claimed.

For a short moment, there was only dead silence.

It was Kaidan who spoke first, “If you want me to go with you--”

“I didn't mean that,” Shepard cut him off quickly as she pushed herself away from him.

“Aerin, don't lie to me.” Kaidan tried to reach for her, but Shepard stepped closer to the door.

Her expression was guarded, but Kaidan could see the struggle underneath it all too clearly.

“You have to report to Arcturus Station,” she reminded him, her tone was flat.

“And you have to fight the Collectors at the galaxy core,” Kaidan countered. “I can help you.”

“I'm flying in a Cerberus ship, using their resources and their people. What would the Alliance do to you if you come with me?” Shepard asked the question they both knew the answer of.

Court-martial.

“The same thing they would do to you, Aerin,” Kaidan replied bluntly. “But here you are, risking everything you have, fighting for humanity.”

“Because I have no choice!” said Shepard, exasperated. “The moment my body was handed over to Cerberus, I was already involved with them. But you are not, and you can't be involved. I won't let your career go down the drain.”

“There won't be any career left if the Collectors win!”

“I know that!” said Shepard, scowling.

“So let me help you. We will face this together, like we used to.”

The knot between her eyebrows started to loosen, her heated gaze began to soften.

“I have lost you once,” he stated quietly. “I won't lose you again, not matter what it takes.”

Silence once again settled between them as they only looked into each other's eyes. His pleading wordlessly, hers softening by the second.

Just when he thought she was about to nod, Shepard shook her head. “I'll go make sure your guns are ready.”

Holding back a sigh, Kaidan watched as she left the room. She needed some time alone, he knew. And he needed to come up with a plan.

 

* * *

 

21:31 Pacific Standard Time

 

A M-99 Saber and a M-5 Phalanx rested side by side on the spotless kitchen counter. A soft cleaning rug was already in her hand. Both guns were clean, she noticed, but that wasn't the reason she had yet to make a move. Her mind was somewhere else, even the custom made saber couldn't pique her interest.

The truth she had been repressing had rare its ugly head: She wanted Kaidan back on the Normandy, back by her side. She needed him, selfishly so.

Dropped everything and risked court-martial to join her on a suicide mission? No, she couldn't ask him to do that for her.

But Kaidan was right. If she lost, humanity would be gone, nothing else would matter. There would be no Alliance, no court-martial. If he joined her, their chance of success would be higher, much higher. And even if they failed, she would die along his side this time...

That last thought alone was almost too tempting. Shepard had to fight back an urge to march back into the room and recruit him right here, right now.

Shepard shook her head and forced herself to focus on the two guns in front of her.

_Phalanx. Manufactured by Systems Alliance. Effective against armor. Integral laser sight boasts its accuracy._ Shepard recited silently to herself as she began to take apart the pistol. Her hands moved swiftly to wipe down each part, but each motion was on auto-pilot as her heart and her mind engaged in a heated internal debate.

Soon enough, the already-cleaned pistol was now pristine while the debate kept going. One side was winning, and to her surprise, it was her heart that had the lead.

Trying her best to ignore everything else, Shepard willed herself to devote all her attention to the task at hand and examined the Saber, weighing it in her hands then bringing it up to peek through the scope.

_Stability dampener added. Scope could use an upgrade. An extended barrel mod would boost its fire power,_ Shepard noted methodically as she took apart the rifle and began her ritual. Like the pistol, the rifle was already cleaned. But the sheer motions of disassembling and reassembling a gun always calmed her mind. It was a decade-old habit that had not been broken even after death.

From the corner of her eye, she saw him exiting his room and approaching.

“I'm almost done,” she told him. Her gaze stubbornly remained on the parts in her hands, not meeting his eyes.

“When are you planning to head to the core?” Kaidan asked.

“First, we have to find a device on a derelict Collector ship to let us through the Omega-4 relay,” said Shepard as she continued to reassemble the gun. “I'm not going to head to the relay before I have a stronger team. We only have one shot...”

Kaidan nodded. “Three weeks then. Does it sound reasonable?”

“What?”

“I'll meet you in three weeks. If your team is still not strong enough, let me help.”

Surprised, Shepard looked up. When their eyes met, she could see nothing but determination. Underneath his calm and quiet front, there lied a stubborn strength and unwavering conviction. And she had always loved him for that. “But your spec ops program needs you.”

“I can ask for a little time off before the program starts. I just checked with Anderson.”

“Anderson would kill me!”

“He would have to go through me first.”

“Kaidan...”

“Relax. I didn't tell him why I want two weeks off.”

“But...”

“Shh,” Kaidan hushed her softly. “Don't say no. Not now. Just give yourself three weeks. If you don't need me, then I'll go.”

_No, I need you!_ Shepard wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Pressing her lips tight to keep any word from slipping, Shepard avoided his eyes and settled her gaze back onto the rifle.  The plan sounded reasonable enough, and she did need all the help she could get... 

Eventually, Shepard nodded. “Three weeks.”

He seemed visibly relieved. “That's all I'm asking.”

She snapped the last part of the rifle back in its place then announced weakly, “Done.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled and stepped closer.

“Nice gun,” she commented offhandedly, trying hard not to think about that would happen in three weeks. “I saw a scope on the Citadel that would be perfect for your rifle--”

His arms sneaked around her waist as he hugged her from behind.

All the tension in her muscles drained as she relaxed against him. This was the safest place in the galaxy. Here, in his arms. If only she could stay like this forever.

A hint of smile resurface on her face. “...I'll get that scope for you next time.”

He gave her a kiss on the side her head then rested his chin on her shoulder. “I don't need a scope. I need you.”

His words echoed what she had been holding back.

For the longest moment, none of them spoke. She could feel his heartbeat on her back, his breath tickled the side of her neck. Her hands moved to cover his, their fingers intertwined.

“Fifteen hours left,” she said in a voice almost as low as a whisper, breaking the silence.

“Stop counting...”

“I can't. I don't want this to end. This...” She glanced around the apartment. “All this here, with you – this is what I want, what I fight for, what I'm willing to die for.”

He tightened his arms around her and pressed her even closer to him.

“Sometimes I'm not sure what I am anymore,” she confessed. “Half human, half machine? With all the implants inside me, I don't know which parts of me are organic, which are synthetic. My bones, even my skin, everything has been rebuilt. I don't know what else they have done to me, but I know there's no control chip inside my brain. Cerberus wants me to forget about you, forget about us. But I can't and I won't.”

“Organic or synthetic, you are you, Aerin,” he told her. “You are real to me. As real as you were two years ago.”

The relief was almost overwhelming. “Thank you, Kaidan. Thanks for making me feel... human.”

His response was a soft chuckle and a softer kiss on her cheek. “That sounds familiar.”

_If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow, what would you regret?_

“I love you,” she told him in a whisper after a pause. “If anything happens, I want you to remember that.”

“Don't say that...”

Shepard shook her head. “I didn't get to tell you last time the Normandy went down in flame. It was on my mind before I died. I don't want any more regrets this time.”

He loosened his arms and stepped back from her, leaving her suddenly cold without his warmth. For a second, Shepard thought he was mad at her being so brutally honest. But when he held her shoulders to spin her around, the face that met hers wasn't an angry one, but a tender one. He touched her cheek gently. “I've always loved you, through all these years, through... through everything.”

She could only stare at him.

“I won't let anything stand between us. Cerberus, the Collectors, or the Reapers,” he said. “But I want you to promise me one thing.”

Shepard had to swallow hard to find her voice. “What's that?”

“Never leave me behind again.”

“I won't,” she vowed, pressing her lips on his to seal the promise – a promise she might not be able to keep.  
  


* * *

 

7:20 Pacific Standard Time

 

The room was no longer dark when Shepard opened her eyes. Another night without any nightmare or even dream.

Kaidan's arm rested protectively on her torso. Shepard remained still, not wanting to wake him up.

She lifted her head up just enough to glance at the clock. 07:20. In less than seven hours, he would need to report back to the headquarters and board a shuttle to Arcturus, while she would have to fly across the galaxy.

Their forty-one hour date was coming to an end.Within the past thirty-six hours, something had changed. Kaidan had jokingly told her his heart had died but returned with the person who had stolen it. Perhaps that wasn't too farfetched. If she had a piece of him, he had been holding a piece of her. Through him, Shepard had found herself again.

Shepard glanced over at the man sleeping peacefully next to her. She shifted and moved closer, resting her head on his pillow. His breaths tickled her skin.

Those fine lines that had etched on his face and the scattered strands of gray hair pointedly reminded her of the hard time he had been through. Even though she had asked, he had never told her the full story. But Shepard knew it was all because of her, because of her death. Yet what had been done could not be undone, all she could do from now on was to make it up to him. They still had a lifetime ahead of them, didn't they?

Shepard could only hope their lifetime would last longer than a month...

Blinking hard, she shoved all the thoughts away.

Time was running out. Less than six more hours left to live in her dream – a normal life with Kaidan. There was one last thing she wanted to do while she still had a chance. Planting a feather kiss on his cheek, Shepard quietly got out of the bed and headed out of the room.  
  


* * *

 

7:45 Pacific Standard Time

 

What greeted Kaidan when he stepped out of the room was one of the most unexpected yet most beautiful sights he had ever seen. Shepard was busy preparing for breakfast in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his shirt that reached down to her hips.

The Commander Shepard half-naked in his kitchen cooking for him, Kaidan had to blink hard to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. But he could smell coffee brewing, he could hear the sound of sizzling eggs on the frying pan. This wasn't a dream. Neither were the past two days.

Smiling to himself, he stood at the doorway and continued to enjoy the view for a moment longer.

With the same concentration as if she was about to snipe the head off of an enemy, Shepard narrowed her eyes before she gave the frying pan a shake then tossed the eggs in the air. When the eggs flipped and landed back right on the pan, the fearless commander celebrated with a tiny fist pump of success as the brightest grin illuminated on her face.

Her smile was contagious. Kaidan couldn't help but chuckle. “Nice flip,” he said, announcing his presence to the oblivious chef.

Shepard finally noticed him. “Oh, hey. Did I wake you?” Her hand accidentally knocked an empty mug off the counter.

Shepard immediately reached to catch it, but Kaidan was faster. The mug was floating in the air amidst a faint biotic glow long before it could hit the floor.

“Nice catch,” said Shepard, grabbing the mug when it was within her reach. “Where would I be without you?”

“You'll never find out.” Kaidan approached and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Don't make promises you can't keep. We have only five more hours.”

“Five hours and a lifetime,” he corrected her and pressed his lips on her forehead softly.

“Hey, let's highjack a shuttle and disappear somewhere in the galaxy,” Shepard suggested in jest as she removed the pan away from the heat. “They'd never find us.”

He merely chuckled lightly at the ludicrous idea as he poured two cups of coffee. It was nothing but a joke, they both knew too well. “You are not the type who would run away from a fight.”

“Really? So what do you think I'd do then?”

He looked her over, pretending to study her, but in reality he was just admiring the view. His shirt had never looked so good before. Those long legs were in full display, and while the baggy shirt covered up the rest, he could still see the outlines of the curves underneath. An idle observation came to him: One of them was shirtless, while the other was bottomless.

He kept that thought to himself and replied, “You'd shoot some Collectors, blow up their ship, and punch whoever dares to get in your way.”

She snorted and shook her head with a tiny smirk.

“You'd save the galaxy. Again.”

“I hope you're right...” she breathed.

He gave her a smile and handed her a cup then added, “...And we'd live happily ever after.”

The corners of her lips curled up. “Now that's an incentive to fight. Throw in an extended shore leave with just the two of us and I'd annihilate the Collector homeworld before you know.”

“So where do you want to take our shore leave this time?”

“Doesn't matter,” she told him, that lovely smile took a sly turn. “We'll spend more than half of the time in the hotel room anyway.”

If it wasn't for the two hot cups they were holding, he would pull her in his arms. He chuckled. “You're probably right.” The cups couldn't stop him from planting a kiss at the corner of her mouth, though. “And I believe we have still five hours. We don't have to wait for next shore leave, you know.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him. “I don't cook for just anyone, Mister. You're not going anywhere without eating your breakfast.” She put a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. He felt the warmth of her skin against his. “But, after that...” she trailed off with a ghost of smirk on her face. Her fingertips brushed down from his chest down to the waistband of his pants as she stepped away.

Kaidan drew a long breath. It took him all his discipline stop himself from pinning her against the wall and kissing her then and there.

Laughing softly, she turned her attention back to the breakfast on the stove.

Something told him this was their future – a normal life with Aerin. And perhaps with a dark-haired kid with big blue eyes running around.

Kaidan smiled at the image. This was what he wanted, what he was willing to risk everything for.

Breakfast had never tasted as good as today's.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Vancouver, Alliance Headquarters

12:50 Pacific Standard Time

 

“Use the omni-tool I gave you when you want to talk to me or anyone else,” Kaidan reminded her once more as they approached the headquarters. “Establish an isolated private connection. That should bypass any Cerberus spyware.”

Shepard stopped and looked at the gates to the Alliance headquarters two blocks down. It was a home she couldn't return to. Not yet. “I should go anywhere closer. I don't want anyone else see you with me.”

“Aerin...”

“It's okay,” she assured him. “As long as you understand, I don't care what they think about me.”

“This will all be over soon.”

“One way or another...”

He knew what she meant. For a moment, they looked at each other, none of them spoke.

“Don't forget, three weeks from now,” Kaidan said, breaking the silence. “I'll find you as soon as I'm done on Arcturus.”

She nodded. What would happen in three weeks, she didn't know. Shepard couldn't even guarantee if she would still be alive, but she didn't have to heart to mention it. Shepard glanced at the familiar buildings afar once more. Being turned down by the Citadel Council was one thing, but being ignored by the Alliance when she needed help, that hurt her more than she would ever admit. The Alliance had turned their back on her, could she really return when this was over?

_I'll cross that bridge when I come to it._ Shepard sucked in a sharp breath and tore her gaze away from the headquarters. “I should go.”

To her surprise, he grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a passionate kiss right in the middle of the street, the same way he had done two nights ago. She had sought comfort in his warmth and his touch, his words and his presence, but that was all over. Their date had come to an end, and she had to dive back into the never-ending battles.

_If we all ended up dead this time tomorrow..._

“I love you,” she whispered to him. “Don't you ever forget that.”

That loving smile on his face gave her all the strength she needed to soldier on. “I love you, too.” He tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly and gave her one last soft kiss on her forehead. “Please, watch yourself out there.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2

13:48 Pacific Standard Time

 

Joker was on his way back to the bridge when he saw Shepard returning to the Normandy. A sly grin spread across his face. “Hey, Commander. So... how's your shore leave?”

Shepard stopped but she didn't answer. Instead, with an unreadable expression, she studied him for a second. And that's when Joker internal alarm started to beep its first warning.

“Come with me, Mr. Moreau,” said the commander as she turned around and headed down to the bridge.

_Mr. Moreau?_ A second warning blasted, louder than the first. _Wait, did Alenko screw up?_

Joker saw no way out but to follow the boss to the cockpit. The door closed behind them ominously with a quiet whoosh.

“Where's the security camera here?” Shepard asked when they were alone.

Uncertain, Joker pointed at the only camera in the cockpit. “...Uh, what's going on?”

“You know what you did.” Shepard took off her hoodie and tossed it over the camera, covering it up.

_Oh shit! She's going to beat me up and leave no evidence! What the shit, Alenko! What did you do to her?!_ Joker backed up in horror. “Hey, Shepard, I didn't--”

“Hold still and it'll be over in a second.” Shepard stepped closer with her eyes narrowed dangerously.

_EDI, HELP ME!_ Joker grimaced and shut his eyes, fully anticipated a right hook on his face – that infamous Shepard's punch he had heard so much about from various teammates of hers.

But it never came. All he felt was something extremely soft pressed on his cheek along with a whisper, “Thank you, Jeff.”

Joker's eyes snapped open in utter shock just as Shepard leaned back and stepped away from him. It took him a second to register what had happened: Shepard had just kissed him.

“That never happened,” the commander stated sternly as she retrieved her jacket from the camera.

Although still shocked to his bones, Joker managed to recover. “Nope, nothing happened,” he agreed all too quickly. “Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of Alenko's biotic kick.”

A smirk appeared on Shepard's face. “Set a course to Far Rim.”

“Aye, aye.”

Putting her jacket back on, Shepard turned and exited the bridge but stopped right at the door. “One more thing,” she continued with her business-as-usual tone, until... “'Jeff Alenko'?” The commander whipped around with an eyebrow arched high. “Really?”

“What's wrong with 'Jeff'? Wait, don't answer. What about Jeffrey Alenko?” Joker negotiated. “You don't want to name your kid 'Joker,' Shepard, unless you want them to get beat up in the playground by some asshole kids with superhero complex.”

“And if it's a girl?” Shepard pointed out, giving him a look.

“Huh... Good point.” Joker stroke his beard and pondered on something he had never considered.

“Tell you what, if the time comes, give me a list of suggestions and I'll take them into consideration.”

Having a hand in naming Shepard 2.0 was an opportunity he could never pass up. “You got it, Shepard.” Joker then eyed her with a sly smirk. “So, where's Kaidan? I thought he would be joining us.”

“No,” said Shepard, turning to leave. “Not now...”

“Not now?” Joker caught that slip of the tongue.

The commander didn't answer to that. “Prepare for takeoff, Joker. I'll be in the CIC,” said Shepard as she exited the cockpit with an extra bounce in her step.

Joker sank into his throne with a grin plastered on his face. Mission accomplished. Those two crazy kids were back together; things were once again where they should be. A dead weight that had been dragging him down for more than two years had been lifted.

Whistling a nameless tune, the pilot began the takeoff preparation routine. He had learned two things about Shepard today, adding to his ever-growing list of “Things You Don't Know About Commander Shepard”. First, her lips were crazy soft. Second, she smelled very nice. While he might never find out what Shepard saw in Alenko, but Joker knew one thing for sure: Kaidan Alenko was the luckiest son of a bitch in the galaxy.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 CIC

14:02 Pacific Standard Time

 

And there she was, standing tall in the CIC after missing for almost two days. Miranda approached and gave the commander an once over. There was something different about her, although Miranda couldn't quiet put her finger on it yet.

She knew Shepard had been spending the past two nights in a residential district and yesterday afternoon wandered around the city. The question was, with whom? Joker had merely mentioned Shepard might be visiting some old friend. Miranda wasn't too surprised, although she was definitely very curious.

“Where have you been, Commander?” asked Miranda.

Looking up from the datapad she was reading, Shepard shrugged. “Around. You told me to get out of my room.”

_Smart-ass._ Miranda arched an eyebrow at the evasive answer, but before she could press on, the yeoman approached the pair.

“Commander, you have a package.” Kelly handed Shepard a small box. “It arrived this morning.”

“What is it?” asked Miranda as she glanced at the return address. It was delivered from a local company she'd never heard of in Vancouver.

“Don't know.” Shepard opened the box, then suddenly and unexpectedly, she laughed. “My god...”

Judging from Shepard's reaction, Miranda was expecting to see the latest prototype weapon inside the box, at the very least. What she found wasn't a gun, but a few boxes of hot chocolate mix and a box of chocolate.

“Chocolate?” Miranda muttered, utterly underwhelmed by the content. 

Unlike her XO, the commander was more than pleased. The smile on Shepard's face was sweeter than all of the chocolate in the gift box as she picked up a note from inside. Miranda managed to sneak a quick peek at it. _“For emergency use only. A little pick-me-up when I'm not around. Yours, K--”_

Shepard's finger blocked the name of the sender, but Miranda instantly narrowed down the list of suspects to only one man.

_Kaidan Alenko? How?_ Miranda scowled ever-so slightly. Digging through her memories, Miranda faintly recalled from his dossier that he was from Earth... Her eyes widened upon connecting the dots. _Vancouver!_ _Son of a bitch!_

Miranda stared at the commander. “Shepard, don't tell me you and--” she stopped herself when she noticed Kelly had been observing them in great interest.

Extinguishing any traces of emotions almost instantly, Shepard pocketed the note and cradled the box in her arm as though it was the most precious thing in the entire galaxy. But Miranda could spot a smile that was threatening to break through.

“Get ready for takeoff. I'll be right back,” Shepard ordered and headed to the elevator.

“Commander, a word,” Miranda demanded, trailing behind the captain of the ship.

“Everything's fine, Miranda.” Shepard stepped into the elevator then turned to face her XO. “I'm better than ever.”

With her arms folded, Miranda studied the woman in front of her. Blue eyes shone brightly inside the dim elevator; her face flushed in a shade of pink, glowing.

“Come on. Get back to work,” the commander urged, pressing the top button on the panel. “We have a war to fight, and we're going to win this.”

Just before the elevator door was completely closed, when she thought she was finally alone, Shepard glanced down at the note one more time and freely relinquished the sweetest grin she had been holding back. It was an expression Miranda had only seen on her once, that was more than two years ago from afar. And the only audience for that smile had been none other than Alenko.

Staring at the elevator door for a moment longer, Miranda sighed and shook her head.

She should have known the bloody icon everyone was willing to follow to hell and back was more than just data on the files. She should have realized a part of Shepard had been missing all along – a part which even she could never recreate in the lab because it was not physical, not tangible. Sure, she had brought Shepard back from dead, but that woman had been nothing more than an extremely effective killing machine.

Perhaps her own ego had blocked her vision. But against Miranda's plan, Shepard had found her missing piece.

Was it luck or was it fate? Miranda didn't know anymore.

Was Alenko a liability, a distraction from the mission, or was he the key to Shepard's loyalty, the fuel for her to overcome the impossible? Miranda had always considered that man to be the former. But perhaps she was wrong. He was all of the above, but when used properly, he could be an asset.

For now, Miranda had no choice but to accept that unchangeable fact that she couldn't get Alenko out of Shepard's life. Perhaps it was for the best. Because now, Shepard had a much more personal reason to fight, something to look forward to after war ended. Never underestimated the power of hope, that was a lesson Miranda had learn many years ago.

Maybe she should send some flowers to Alenko to express her gratitude. Well, maybe not... Smiling inwardly to herself, Miranda stepped back to the CIC.

The Lazarus Project was finally, truly, completed. Aerin Shepard was alive. She was back.  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Apparently, Shepard wasn't the only one who's going off-script. Kaidan did too in this chapter. You see, he's not supposed to suggest the see-you-in-three-weeks deal, but he did. It didn't feel right for him to let her go on a suicide mission without at least trying to help. Even with their fallout post Horizon in the canon story, he did eventually express regret for not helping Shepard fight the Collector final boss. Well, in this story, without the fallout, Kaidan now has a chance to right the wrong. But will Shepard let him though? That's the million dollar question.

Keep forgetting to add contact info. Here it is. You can find me through gmail: pinoko19, or tumblr: pinoko-k.

Thanks for reading!

  
  



	24. Keela Se'lai

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 23: Keelah Se'lai 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy Shuttle

 

The journey from Earth to Haestrom was long, and it wasn't a complete surprise that a krogan would get restless in an enclosed environment. At least that was what Shepard had thought when Zaeed and Kelly had both informed her about Grunt's recent disruptive behavior.

Heading to the shuttle, armed and ready for a fight, always made the overgrown krogan kid giddy. But not today. Abandoning his seat, Grunt chose to pace back and forth in the already tight cabin. Two steps, then turned. Two steps, then turned.

Looking at Shepard, Zaeed nodded pointedly at the pacing krogan when his back was turned. None of her team said a thing, yet all of them had the same thing in mind: It was time for an intervention.

“I heard you tore up the place in the cargo hold,” said Shepard.

Grunt didn't bother to deny it. In fact, he didn't even bother to acknowledge her at all.

Such transgression was unacceptable and would be punished if they were still in the military. And if it was any other members of the crew, Shepard would be furious. Yet, somehow, she had a softspot for the young krogan. _At least give him a chance to explain._

“Something wrong?” Shepard asked, keeping her voice calm.

Grunt stopped in his tracks, tensed. “Something... is wrong, Shepard,” he admitted in an uncertain tone. “I feel wrong. Tense. I just want to kill something. With my hands. More so than usual, like it's not my choice. Like I just want to... I don't know!”

With a groan, he shoved his giant fist onto the shuttle wall nearby. The aircraft shook slightly. Shepard jolted in surprise.

“What the fuck?” Jack swore, shocked as everyone else.

“Get a hold of yourself, Grunt!” Miranda demanded, her brows furrowed in disapproval.

“I'm trying!” Grunt then turned to Shepard and asked, “See? Why do that? What's wrong with me?”

Shepard couldn't come up with any answer.

“He's a krogan, Shepard,” Garrus reasoned. “A pure one. He's probably more aggressive than most.”

“Doesn't matter if this is normal,” said Grunt. “I'm not! I'm not use to this... noise. I want control. When we're moving, fighting, I focus. There's no problem. But when I'm on the ship, my blood screams, my plates itch. Even you're just noise. I'm tank-born! What is this?”

“Mordin?” Shepard looked to the scientist for help. “Is he sick?”

“No, not sickness,” said the professor, shaking his head. “Puberty ritual.”

“Puberty?” A smirk grew on Jack's red-painted full lips. “Grunt's growing up?”

Mordin nodded. “Common among species with hormone-driven reproductive urges.”

“Ah, like entering the maiden stage,” Samara commented with a nod.

“That's a... biological change?” said Thane. “How interesting.”

“Not just biological change,” Mordin explained further. “Krogans undergo rite of passage.” The professor paused and stroke his chin thoughtfully. “Need to find a clan.”

“A clan?” said Garrus. “Can't we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?”

“Dances not required,” Mordin replied in a deadpan tone. “Although might be appreciated after ritual.”

Shepard frowned. “So where do we find a clan?”

“Commander,” said Miranda. “I believe you do know someone. I've heard he's a clan chief.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow. “Wrex?”

“Wrex is a chief now?” said Garrus, chuckling. “This is the first time I really feel sorry for the krogans.”

“We'll go to Tuchanka after this,” Shepard decided. “I need everyone at their best.”

“Thank you, Shepard,” said Grunt. “I don't like this. Fury is my choice, not a sickness.”

“Shepard,” said EDI. “Our data indicates that Tali is somewhere in these ruins. There is considerable Geth activity, and an environmental hazard. Solar output has overwhelmed Haestrom's protective magnetosphere. Exposure to direct sunlight will damage your shield.”

“You heard that, people. Get ready.” Shepard then turned to Grunt. “You gonna be okay for now?”

“I am,” Grunt replied, loading his shotgun. “The Geth? Not so much.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Haestrom

 

There was nothing but dead quarians and destroyed Geth littering the paths. The only enemy they had been facing since setting foot on this planet was the sun.

“Get the hell out of the sun!” Jack shouted as they dashed down the sun-burnt slope.

Shepard sprinted forth, feeling the heat cooking her inside her armor. She didn't stop until she was safe under the shade. Shepard took a moment to catch her breath and allowed her shield to regenerate. Within a few minutes on the planet, she was already soaked in sweat. As tempted as she was to strip everything off, she knew she would die instantly without the protection of her shield.

“And I thought Palaven was hot,” said Garrus as he took a breather next to her.

“Think about the cold shower and even colder beer waiting for us in the Normandy,” said Shepard, casting a quick glance at her team to make sure everyone was all right.

“Now you're just cruel,” her turian twin complained with a chuckle.

“The sooner we find Tali, the sooner we can get out of this hell hole.” Shepard nodded towards the path ahead. “Let's keep moving.”

The group ventured deeper into the ruin. Still, there was nothing but corpses.

“Quarian architecture,” Garrus commented as they stepped inside what seemed to be a make-shift camp inside a large room. “There's two words you don't expect to hear together.”

“Why the hell would the quarians come this far into Geth territory?” Zaeed asked.

“Tali wouldn't tell me anything last time we met,” said Shepard, examining pieces of equipments left by the quarians.

A voice come through from a console nearby. “Tali'Zorah to base camp. Come in, base camp. Hello? Is anyone there?”

Shepard quickly activated the communication console. “Tali, it's Shepard.”

“Shepard? What are you doing here? We're in the middle of Geth space!”

“I came here to help. Thought you might need a hand.”

“Thanks for coming, Aerin,” said Tali. “It means a lot to hear your voice. Have you seen the crew?”

Shepard shared a look with Garrus before she answered, “I'm sorry, Tali. Everyone here is dead. Any survivors must have fallen back.”

“We knew this mission was high-risk. Damn it!”

“Where are you?”

“Kal'Reegar and what's left of the marines got me into the observatory. From where you are, it's through the door and across the field. I got the data I needed, and I'm safe for now, but I've got a lot of Geth outside.”

“Don't worry, Tali. We'll get you out.”

“Be careful, Aerin. And please, do what you can to keep Reegar alive.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Haestrom Inner Ruin

 

Away from the sun, Shepard reloaded her rifle. What she had thought to be a dead war zone was instantly revived when they encountered their first dropship a moment ago.

Geth prime, destroyer, or hunter. It didn't matter to Shepard. Point and shoot, dodge and roll. All had been ingrained into her being since the day she had enlisted. The sun, though, was another matter. The sun and the heat.

“Another dropship incoming!” Thane warned after scouting through the window with his scope.

Shepard peeked around the corner of the doorway and surveyed the open area outside the room they had taken temporary shelter in. Kal'Reegar and Tali should be just ahead across the field. Now, if she could get rid of all the Geth dropping down from the sky above. Again.

“Shit, the little drones can cloak!” Jack pointed out.

“Watch out, Commander, they have optical camouflage systems,” said Miranda.

“That's what I said, cheerleader,” Jack snapped back.

“And here I was worried this would be too easy,” said Garrus.

“And argument-free,” Shepard muttered and nodded towards the battlefield. “Ready?”

“At your six.” Garrus readied his sniper rifle.

It was all Shepard need to hear before charging right in.

“Leave the drones to me.” Standing safe in the shade, Miranda launched a series of biotic attacks, smashing the drones onto the ground fast down.

“I'll kill you all!” Jack grunted as she released her own power against the flying enemies. It was almost as though there was an unspoken completion between them to see who could kill more. One attacked with firey explosion, while the other with elegant precision.

All drones were taken care of in between the two biotics, there were more Geth incoming.

Time to get to work. Shepard peeked out of her cover and fired.

The sound of gunshots rang loud and nonstop.

“One more! Ha ha!” Grunt laughed, as happy as a kid in an all-you-can-eat candy story.

“Shepard, rocket!” Garrus shouted.

“Son of a--” Shepard jumped behind a cover under the sun just in time.

The ground shook as the rocket hit where she had been standing just a second ago. Still, she couldn't afford another second to catch her breath. The sun was frying her shield fast. Even though Shepard would take a degenerating shield over a rocket in the head any day, she certainly didn't come this far to die from sunburn.

Rolling out of her cover, Shepard leaped under the nearest shade. Away from the goddamned sun, but now without cover, and coming face to face with a Geth. Shepard quickly unloaded a clip onto her target, killing it before it could damage her remaining shield. Shepard dodged behind a pillar and reloaded, hearing the heavy mechanical footsteps fast approaching. She peeked out and saw another Geth prime heading her way. Swearing under her ragged breath, Shepard sidestepped out of her cover and ready to shoot.

Just then, a blue glow hit the Geth, stripping its shield for her to finish it off with her bullets. In the heat of battle, Shepard couldn't tell whose biotic attack it was from, although she did say her thanks through the radio. They were all on the same team, attacking as one. Whose bullets or whose biotics didn't matter.

At last, after what seemed to be an endless eternal battle under the burning sun, the final Geth dropped onto the ground. Shepard vaulted over the cover and sprinted ahead across the field. She didn't stop until she reached the shaded area. Her team followed suit.

“Just like old times,” said Garrus when he joined her, panting from both heat and exhaustion. “Minus the shield-burning sun, of course.”

“Thought I'd seen enough Geth to last a lifetime when we fought Saren at the Citadel,” said Shepard.

“You died, remember?” Garrus reminded her lightly. “You need to fill your Geth-killing quota for this lifetime.”

“I've a feeling we won't run out of Geth to shoot anytime soon.” Shepard led the way up to the next level. “What the hell is Tali doing here?”

“She's not here for a picnic, that's for sure.”

The end of the stairs led them into a control room. Through the closed windows Shepard could hear a battle raging on the other side.

“That must be the remaining quarians making their last stand,” said Miranda.

Shepard moved to the console and opened the shutters, only to reveal an army of Geth outside along with a Geth Colossus. Its beam charged, ready to fire, and it was aiming right at them.

_SHIT!_

“Son of a bitch!” Zaeed shouted. “MOVE!”

“GET DOWN!” Shepard yelled as she jumped out of the way. The beam hit the building, shock wave sent them flying across the control room. Shepard was smacked hard against the wall. Even with her shield and armor softening the impact, Shepard was left dazed for a few seconds.

“Definitely like old times,” Garrus mumbled as he extended a long arm and pulled Shepard back on her feet.

A quick glance down told her that the quarians were down below, and they were outnumbered by the Geth. “Stay here, I'll go check in with the quarians,” she told her team before turning to Garrus, and nodded towards the now opened window. “There's some target practice for you.”

“We've plenty to go around.” Garrus shared a look with Thane, and both snipers went to work as Shepard left the safety of the control room.

“Over here!” said a quarian marine when she approached. “Get to cover!”

Shepard didn't need to be told twice.

“Squad Leader Kal'Reegar, Migrant Fleet Marines,” the quarian introduced himself.

“Commander Aerin Shepard of the... Normandy.” Shepard almost mentioned the Alliance out of habit.

“Shepard? The Spectre Tali worked with?”

Shepard nodded.

“Don't know why you're here, but this ain't the time to be picky. Right now, any organic is a welcome sight.”

“Where's Tali?”

“Tali's inside over there in the observatory.” Reegar pointed his rocket launcher towards the seal door at the other end of the field. “The Geth killed the rest of my squad, and they're trying to get to her. Best I've been able to do is draw their attention.”

“Would it help if I brought in the Normandy?”

“Negative. These buildings are centuries old. If you bring down heavy fire, this whole place could collapse on us.”

“With Tali trapped right inside.” Shepard saw the problem. “Give me an update.”

“The observatory is reinforced. Even the Geth will need time to get through it. And it's hard to hack a door when someone's firing rockets at you. The Geth are near platoon strength, but the colossus is the worst part. It's got a repair protocol. Huddles up and fixes itself.”

“Shit...”

“My thought exactly. I can't get a clear shot while it's down like that. I tried to move in closer, and one of the bastards punched a shot clean through my suit.”

Shepard frowned. “How bad is your suit damage?”

“Combat seals clamped down to isolate contamination, and I'm swimming in antibiotics,” the quarian reported in a matter-of-fact tone. “The Geth might get me, but I'm not going to die from an infection in the middle of a battle. That's just insulting!”

Shepard liked that guy already. “I hear ya. We need to scrap that bastard fast.” She peeked out of the cover and surveyed the field. “We'll get up close, past that cover.”

“I'm not moving so well, but I can still pull a trigger, and I've got a rocket launcher that the sun hasn't fried yet,” Reegar told her. “You move in close. I'll keep the colossus busy, maybe even drop its shields. With luck, you'll be able to finish it off.”

“You've done enough, Reegar. Stay here, my team will take care of the rest.”

“Wasn't asking your permission. My job is to keep Tali safe. This is our best shot.”

“We don't have enough people on our side for you to take one for the team!” Shepard snapped. “Stand down!”

“I'm not going to stand there while you run into enemy fire!” Kal'Reegar retorted just as heatedly. “They killed my whole squad!”

“And if you want to honor your squad, watch my back!” Shepard countered without missing a beat. Even though her voice was drowned by the sound of gunshots, it was sharp as a knife. “I need you here in case they bring reinforcements!”

There was a second of hesitation. Standing down was a hard pill to swallow especially when adrenaline was pumping through his veins. He was ready to die for his duty, but now he was not needed. Shepard understood the man even though she had just met him. Whether they were from the Alliance or the Migrant Fleet, a good marine was about duty and sacrifice. And Kal'Reegar was an exceptional one.

“All right, Shepard. We'll do it your way,” He conceded and handed her the rocket launcher. “Hit them for me. Keelah se'lai.”

Out of respect, Shepard gave him a salute before running back to her team waiting in the control room.

“Garrus, Thane, head to the catwalk on the right and snipe. The rest, follow me through the left.” She turned to Jack and Samara, “Strip the colossus' shield as fast as you can when we're close enough to hit that bastard. And I need someone to keep the colossus busy while the rest of us sneak close to it.” Shepard handed the rocket launcher to Zaeed. “Care to do the honor?”

“Thought you might never ask,” said the mercenary, taking the heavy weapon from her.

“Head to where Kal'Reegar is,” she told Zaeed. “That's the best vantage point.”

“How come he has all the fun?” asked Grunt, eyeing at the rocket launcher with a scowl.

“You're coming with me,” said Shepard. “We're going to have much more fun up close and personal.”

The frown turned into a grin. “Heh heh heh...”

“I thought you might like that. Let's go!”

 

* * *

 

They were close, as close as possible with all the Geth taken care of. Except for the giant elephant in the room. “The shield!” Shepard ordered.

And within a second, five biotic attacks fired simultaneously at the colossus. The bright glow would have blinded Shepard temporarily had she not shielded herself in time. The colossus staggered.

“Fire!” Shepard ordered once more and squeezed her trigger at the last enemy.

Bullets from all directions converged onto the same target.

Beside her, Grunt pumped his shotgun as fast as the weapon mechanically allowed.

The orange glow of Mordin's omni-tool lit up at the corner of her eye. A few seconds later there was a series of explosion on the creature's armor, courtesy of the professor.

One clip. Two clips. Shepard reloaded one more time after dodging its beam. She leaped out in the open and continued to fire at her enemy while it charged its beam. Stubbornly, it refused to die.

“Quick, he's about to regenerate!” Reegar warned through the radio.

_Shit!_ There was only one more thing she could try.

“Zaeed!” Shepard yelled.

“Out of the way!” Zaeed warned.

“MOVE!” Shepard and her team rolled behind cover just in time when the rocket hit the colossus.

The battle ended as it had started. With a bang, an explosion, and a violent shake of the ground.

A few seconds later came Garrus' confirmation. “All clear!”

Her heart was pounding deafeningly loud. Shepard leaned against the cover and breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“Nice work!” said Reegar.

“Keep an eye out,” she told Miranda. “I'll go get Tali.”

The door to the observatory unlocked by itself as she approached. Within, Shepard found her friend trapped inside, waiting.

“Thank you, Aerin,” said Tali. “If not for you, I would never have made it out of this room.”

Shepard put a comforting hand on her quarian friend's shoulder. The slender young woman looked shaken. “You all right?”

“This whole mission has been a disaster!” Tali shook her head. “I wish I'd joined you back on Freedom's Progress, but I couldn't let anyone take my place on something this risky.”

“What's this research you're after?”

“It's about Haestrom's sun. It's destabilizing, aging faster than it should,” Tali told her. “Back when this was a quarian colony, it was a normal star. It shouldn't change that quickly.”

“Any idea what's destabilizing the sun?”

“If I had to guess, I'd say that it was dark energy affecting the interior of the star. The effect is similar to when stars blow off mass to enter a red giant phase, but Haestrom's sun is far too young for this to be natural.”

“Whatever the reason, I'm glad I could help.” Shepard studied her friend a moment then revealed, “I'm not here by chance.”

Tali gave her a questioning look, at least that's what Shepard thought it was behind the helmet.

“I could use your help on the Normandy.”

Tali paused to think.

“Except for the two Cerberus officers you've already met on Freedom's Progress, the rest of my team are not with Cerberus. We're heading to the galaxy core, Tali. I can't guarantee a safe return, but it's something we've to do to save humanity.”

“I promised to see this mission through. I did.” Tali let out a sigh and nodded. “I can leave with you once I send the data to the Fleet.” She booted up her omni-tool and immediately worked on that.

Shepard was pleasantly surprised at how fast Tali was welling to say yes. She had even prepared a longer speech. “You don't have to talk to the admirals first?”

Tali snorted. “If they have a problem with it, they can go to hell. I just watched the rest of my team die.”

“Maybe not the whole rest of your team, ma'am,” said Kal'Reegar as he entered with an obvious limp.

“Reegar!” Tali gasped and rushed to her friend. “You made it!”

“Your old captain's as good as you said,” said Kal'Reegar. “Damn colossus never stood a chance.”

“You all right?” asked Shepard.

“Still alive, thanks to you,” said the quarian marine.

“If need be, the Normandy can get you out of here, Reegar,” said Shepard.

Kal'Reegar shook his head. “The Geth didn't damage out ship. As long as we get out of here before reinforcements show up, we'll be fine.” He turned to Tali. “Ready to head back, ma'am?”

“Actually, I won't be going with you,” said Tali. “I'm going with Commander Shepard.”

If Reegar was surprised by her decision, he certainly didn't voice his opinion.

“I'll pass that data to the Admiralty Board and let them know what happened,” said Kal'Reegar before he turned to Shepard. “She's all yours now, Shepard. Keep her safe.”

Shepard extended her hand and received a firm shake from the other marine. “I will. Keelah se'lai.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 

 

“I can't believe so many people died,” said Tali as she was touring the new Normandy. “Thank you again for getting Reegar out alive.”

“A lot of quarians lost their lives,” said Shepard quietly.

“Some of them were my friends. All of them were good at their jobs.” Tali sighed and shook her head. “That damn data better be worth it. The price was too high. I hope the Admiralty Board gets some use of it.”

“You're following orders, and everyone signed up for the job knew the risks. It's out of your hands now, Tali. Try not to think too much.”

“How do you do it, Aerin? How do you stay so calm when you have to make all the tough decisions?”

“I try to do the right thing, and sometimes that's all we can do.”

“Like working for Cerberus? Are you sure it's the right thing to do?”

“I'm working with them, not for them. If I don't, humanity will be destroyed.”

“I know you need the resources to fight the Collectors, but be careful, Aerin. As soon as you no longer serve their needs, be ready for them to turn on you.”

“I'm getting out the moment the Collectors are dealt with.”

“I'm glad to hear that. Just let me know how I can help. For now, just be careful. I notice there are listening devices and tracking beacons all over the ship.”

Shepard nodded. “Garrus has already cleaned the bugs from my cabin.”

“Vakarian?” Tali snorted good-naturally. “When it comes to guns, he's an expert. But security devices? I bet he missed a few of them.”

Shepard called for the elevator. “You're more than welcome to do another sweep.”

“Oh I will.”

The elevator stopped and it wasn't empty. “Taking a tour?” asked Garrus as both women stepped in. “How do you like the new ship, Tali?”

“I like the quiet.”

“You do?” Shepard teased. “I remember a young quarian telling me the SR-1 was too quiet she couldn't sleep.”

Tali laughed lightly, Shepard was glad she could get that from her old friend. “I miss the old faces. Kaidan, Pressly, Engineer Adams, all of them.”

“Kaidan was here, briefly,” said Garrus. “Twice, I've heard. Although no one really saw him the second time he came aboard.”

When her turian twin glanced at her, Shepard swore there was a rare mischievous glint in his eyes. Shepard had never directly told him what had happened back in Vancouver, nor had he asked. But she knew Garrus already knew. Joker could never keep a secret.

“What do you mean?” asked Tali, confused.

“Kaidan stopped by when we were on Earth. Everyone's out on shore leave, I was the only one here,” Shepard filled her in with a matter-of-fact tone before her turian twin could tease her any further. “Long story.”

“Is Kaidan joining us?” asked Tali. “He's still with the Alliance last time I talked to him.”

“He's busy right now,” Shepard replied as nonchalantly as she could.

“I'm glad you could join us, Tali,” said Garrus. “Maybe with another dextro aboard, they'll get better turian food.”

Shepard, too, was glad. The Normandy had started to feel more like home.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Cabin

 

“Did she find any more bugs in your room?” Kaidan asked through vid chat.

The screen on her omni-tool was smaller than the one on her terminal, but the omni-tool was the one Kaidan had given her, the one free of Cerberus spyware.

“Nah.”

“That's a relief.” Kaidan chuckled and reached for his coffee cup.

“Mm hm...” Shepard deliberately waited until his lips touched the cup before she commented bluntly, “No sex vids flying around the extranet.”

And on cue, Kaidan choked on his coffee.

Shepard didn't even bother to hide a laugh. Flustering Kaidan was just as fun as it had been two years ago.

Kaidan coughed and cleared his throat. “You did that on purpose...”

“And if I did?” Her smirk grew. “What are you going to do to me?”

“You're lucky I'm not there right now.” His threat in jest tickled her more than he would ever know.

_No, I want you here. Right now_ , Shepard wanted to say but didn't. “So how's training?”

“Teaching is... more complicated that I thought. Especially teaching how to use biotics. It's not just explaining a theory, or showing them how to point and shoot. I'm glad they offered to train me before tossing me in front of a bunch of kids. Otherwise, I might turn out to be as useless as another Vyrnnus.”

“You'll never be as bad as Vyrnnus, even without training,” Shepard assured him. “You have a heart. He didn't.”

“And I have you.”

Shepard had to smile at that. “Hey...” she trailed off, hesitating. She had faced a giant colossus and countless Geth today, how hard would it be to express how she really felt? Well, hard enough she had to pause. But still, he needed to know. “...I miss you.”

A grin spread on his face, one that could still warm her heart even though they were lightyears apart. “I miss you, too. I'll see you in two weeks.”

That night Shepard slept without any nightmare.

  
  


–

  
  



	25. Rite of Passage

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 24: Rite of Passage

Year: 2183CE

Location: Virmire Beach Front

 

_The cure for genophage. An answer the krogans had been seeking for centuries, millennium. It was here on this planet._

_Yet Shepard had no choice but to destroy it._

Or else Saren will win. _Shepard grimaced at that thought as she_ _approached the furious krogan cautiously. Her footsteps were drowned by the soothing waves of the ocean, but she knew he could hear her._

“ _This isn't right, Shepard,” said Wrex as soon as she was within range. His eyes remained glued to the horizon. “If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it!”_

“ _I understand you're upset, but we both know Saren is the enemy here,” Shepard pointed out calmly. “He should be the one you're angry with.”_

“ _Really?” Wrex turned and approached her one step at a time. “Saren created a cure for my people._ You _want to destroy it.” He stopped right in front of her. His much larger size loomed over her smaller form. “Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe is getting a little blurry from where I stand.”_

_An angry krogan staring down at an opponent half his size should be intimidating enough to make that person run away with their pants wet. Shepard, however, stood her ground firmly, her gaze never faltered. This wasn't just any other krogan; this was her friend._

“ _This isn't a cure, it's a weapon!” said Shepard, her voice now took a sharper turn. “And if Saren is allowed to use it, you won't be around to reap the benefit. None of us will!”_

“ _That's a chance we should be willing to take,” Wrex retorted. “This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about!”_

“ _And this is the fate of the entire galaxy we're talking about!” Shepard countered sharply, staring him down as if he was not a krogan twice her size but a varren who was misbehaving. If she showed fear, if she showed any sign of weakness, she would instantly lose any respect from a krogan warrior like Wrex._

“ _We all know how this will end,” Wrex claimed. And suddenly, there was his shotgun pointing at her._

_Shepard's well-honed reflex reacted, before she knew it her own shotgun was already in her hand._

“ _It doesn't have to end that way, Wrex,” said Shepard, hiding the regret in her voice._

“ _It does,” he countered, not at all bothered by her shotgun pointing at the softer muscles around his chin. “Don't you get it? There's finally a cure for genophage, and I cannot let you destroy it.”_

“ _Stop being blinded by the fact there's a cure,” she told him, ignoring the shotgun jabbing at her chest over her heart. “Saren is using it to make more krogans for_ his _army! He doesn't care about these krogan; he's using your people as tools!”_

_Wrex sneered. “Many of my people died in wars that weren't even ours to start with. This is just_ _another one. And we'll get a cure for genophage out of it. When we bring the cure back to Tuchanka--”_

“ _There wouldn't even be a Tuchanka if Saren unleashed the Reaper on us! You know it!” Shepard raised her voice, her tone sharp as a surgical blade. “There wouldn't be anything left in this galaxy if he won!”_

_There was a subtle wince in his eyes. Wrex then went silent._

“ _I'll stop Saren or die trying,” Shepard vowed, meaning every word she said. “And I cannot let him have another edge. You know what we have, it's just us versus his army of Geth. The Citadel Council isn't going to lift a finger to help. We have no backup. I_ cannot _let him have another edge against us. How are we supposed to fight an army of Geth_ and _krogans with just the seven of us?”_

“ _Six,” he corrected her. “I am not going to make it out here alive, I know that. But if I'm going to die, I want an honorable death. Just you and me. You owe me that much, Shepard. Call them off.”_

“ _What?” Shepard was confused._

“ _You don't know?” Wrex eyed her curiously. “Williams and Vakarian have their sniper rifles aimed at my head. Alenko isn't armed, but he doesn't need a gun to kill, and we both know he won't let anything hurt you.”_

_Shepard took her eyes off him for a moment and saw what he had just described._ But I didn't tell them...

“ _You didn't have to order them,” said Wrex. “They did it on their own. They'll follow you straight to hell. You're their leader, their friend. Hell, you're my friend... But this, I can't let you destroy the genophage, not even for you, Shepard. So, get on with it. At least try to make this a challenging fight worth dying for.”_

“ _No.” Shepard stepped back and lowered her gun. “There will be a fight, but it won't be between us. If either of us is going to die fighting, it's a fight with Saren.” She took another step back, shaking her head. “I can't die just yet, if I did, Saren would win. But I won't let you throw away your life either. I need you to help me win this! And after we win, we will find a way to get a cure for genophage.”_

_Wrex seemed skeptical. “You're not scientist, Shepard.”_

“ _I'm not. Neither is Saren, and he found the cure. We now know there's a formula out there, that the cure exists. And if it exists, it can be duplicated.”_

_Wrex didn't answer. He didn't have to, his stance began to relax ever-so slightly._

_Shepard knew she had him. Still, she wouldn't dare to relax just yet. “Fight with me, Wrex,” she urged. “Don't let that bastard use your people as slaves. Krogans deserve much better than that. They're the best infantry the galaxy has ever seen, and they should be treated with respect, not as cannon fodder for an insane turian who wants wipe out the galaxy including your people!”_

_At last, Wrex lowered his shotgun. “I've been loyal to you so far, Shepard. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But if I'm going to keep following you, I need to know we're doing it for the right reason.”_

“ _You know damn well this is the right reason. Saren will use these krogans as tools to destroy us, then he'll destroy them as soon as they're no longer useful to him. Is that what you want for your people?”_

“ _No...” Wrex answered quietly. “We were tools for the Council once. To thank us for us wiping out the rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren would be as generous.”_

“ _I can't do this without you, Wrex,” said Shepard, her voice taking a softer turn. “I can't do this without any of you.”_

_The krogan warrior studied her keenly for a moment. “All right, Shepard, you've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. I'm not going to stop you from doing what needs to be done. Just one thing, when we find Saren, I want his head.”_

“ _All yours, Wrex.” Shepard finally allowed herself to release a sigh of relief. “All yours.”_

  
  


* * *

 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Research Laboratory

 

“Kelly said you wanted to see me,” said Shepard as she entered the lab.

Mordin looked up from his never-ending work. “Heard we are heading to Tuchanka. Need a favor.”

“Sure. What is it?”

Mordin glanced back at his console and frowned. “Just received data, still processing, analyzing likely scenarios. Not sure how to begin. Too much intel.”

“Mordin, slow down.”

The professor took a breath. “You remember our talk? My work on genophage modification?”

Shepard nodded. “You stopped the krogan adaptation to the genophage.”

“Part of a team. Scientist, all different types. Blood Pack mercenaries captured former team member. Maelon. Last seen on Tuchanka. Might torture him. Make an example. Recovering Maelon would be a personal favor to me.”

Shepard frowned at the news. “Do you think they found out your team updated the genophage?”

“Unclear. No way to determine until we get to Tuchanka.”

“We'll find your team member.”

Mordin nodded. “Appreciate it. My assistant. My student. Want to see him safe. Maelon last seen outside Urdnot territory. Scouts might have seen Blood Pack. Talk to them or clan chief.”

“Urdnot, huh?” A tiny smile appeared on Shepard's face. “Yeah, their chief will kill me if I don't talk to him.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Tuchanka, Clan Urdnot

 

The planet was nothing but ruins and rubble of what was once a great empire. Krogans eyed at Shepard and her team suspiciously. Aliens on Tuchanka was a rare sight, she had been told. So Shepard had only arrived with three others. Still, their group received many looks, most out of curiosity, some were hostile.

“Go find out what you can about Mordin's student,” she told Miranda. “Garrus and I will take care of Grunt's problem first. I'll meet you back on the ship.”

“Don't do anything crazy,” her XO warned her with a straight face, although Shepard knew it was in jest.

“Crazy? Me?” She then gestured towards her turian twin and the young krogan. “You should warn those two instead.”

Miranda gave her a look before they parted ways.

Grunt's initial enthusiasm had quickly turned sour as they stepped into Clan Urdnot territory. “This is the great krogan homeworld? This is the land of Kredak, Shiagur, and Veeoll?” He snorted. “This chuck of rock is barely worth standing on!”

Next to him, Garrus stole a glance at the young krogan before sharing a look with Shepard. For once, the sharp-tongued turian kept his mouth shut.

Oblivious to the silent communication beside him, Grunt continued to express his disappointment, “Never thought I'd miss the tank.”

Garrus nodded towards the highest pile of rubble within this fallen hall. And there, on the very top was a makeshift chair constructed by broken pieces of the building – a throne, if it could even be called that. And sitting on the throne was a very familiar krogan.

Shepard grinned at the sight of the imposing figure and rushed up to the dais, but only to be stopped by a guard.

“Halt! You must wait til the clan leader summons you. He is... in talks.”

Shepard glanced over the guard's shoulder and saw the meeting taking place.

“You know what tradition demands – Clan Urdnot must respond,” said the krogan pacing in front of the throne.

Wrex leaned against the armrest of the throne with his head in his hand, looking more bored than ever. His gaze wandered aimlessly before they landed on her. All of a sudden, dull eyes lit right up as the chief jolted awake.

“Your reforms will not go unopposed,” the krogan continued, now with his back facing the chief, unaware of his wasted effort. “You risk appeasing weak at a critical time--”

“SHEPARD!” Wrex leaped out of his throne.

The krogan turned in confusion. Wrex shoved him out of his way and rushed towards his old friend.

“I believe your chief is summoning me. Excuse me.” Shepard sidestepped the guards and approached the dais.

“Shepard! My friend!” Wrex roared, his voice boomed across the ruin hall.

Before Shepard could even say a greeting, she found herself in a bone-crushing embrace, her feet dangling off the ground. Shepard laughed, and returned the friendly gesture as much as she physically was allowed given her arms were pinned on her sides. “Good to see you too, Wrex.”

Garrus coughed loudly at the back.

Wrex released his iron grip and glanced over at Shepard's two companions as if it's the first time he noticed them. Shepard landed back onto the ground.

“Still hanging around that turian?” Wrex teased.

“Can't get rid of him.” Shepard grinned. “Wouldn't want to.”

“Have you figured out how to play quasar yet, Wrex?” asked Garrus, stepping up to greet their old friend. “Or is it still too complicated for you?”

Surprising the rest of the krogan onlookers, their chief boomed in laughter and extended a hand. The turian took it with a firm shake. “Garrus... I have to make friends with one turian in the galaxy who thinks he's funny.” Wrex then gave the turian a hearty snap on his shoulder.

“Imagine how I feel,” Garrus countered without missing a beat, grinning. “I'm supposed to hate krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.”

“Not my smoldering good looks?” the chief laughed.

“Garrus is probably jealous of your scars,” Shepard commented with a smirk.

“He has some of his own now.” Wrex nodded at Garrus' face. “Looks good on you, adds characters.”

He turned his attention back to Shepard. “And you, Shepard, you look well for dead,” said the chief. “Should have known the void couldn't hold you.”

“Looks like helping me destroy Saren and the Geth has worked out for you,” Shepard quipped with a grin. “Glad we didn't kill each other on Virmire.”

“Ha!” Wrex laughed. “You made the rise of Urdnot possible. Virmire was a turning point for the krogan, though not everyone was happy about it.” He pointedly glance at the green-plated krogan he was talking to. “Destroying Saren's genophage cure freed us from his manipulation. I used that to spur the clans to unify under Urdnot.”

“You abandoned many traditions to get your way,” said the green-plated krogan. “Dangerous.”

Wrex's eyes suddenly narrowed. Without another word, he whipped around and headbutted the outspoken krogan. The krogan fell onto the ground.

“Speak when spoken to, Uvenk,” Wrex chided. “I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.”

Raising an eyebrow, a faint smirk appeared on Shepard's face. From a broken mercenary to a clan leader, Shepard couldn't be more proud of her old friend. Uvenk, however, was less than amused by the humiliation.

“He's from Clan Gatalog,” Wrex explained offhandedly to Shepard. “Don't mind him.” Ignoring everything else, Wrex's attention now landed curiously on the young krogan.

“This is Grunt,” Shepard introduced. “He's one of my crew.”

“Where are you from, whelp?” Wrex asked. “Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what is expected of you?”

“I have no clan,” said Grunt, standing tall and proud despite being scrutinized by all other full-grown krogans around them. “I was tank-bred by Warlord Okeer, my line distilled from Kredak, Moro, Shiagur--”

“You recite warloads,” Gatalog Uvenk interrupted, “but you are the offspring of a syringe!”

Shepard scowled, yet she held back a snap and let Grunt fight his battle.

“I am pure krogan,” claimed Grunt. “You should be in awe.”

“Okeer is a very old name,” said Wrex. “A very hated name.”

“He is dead,” said Grunt.

“Of course,” said Wrex, approaching the young one. “You're with Shepard. How could he be alive?”

Shepard snorted, not taking offense at all. “We've been told he needs to under through the Rite of Passage.”

Wrex nodded. “I see--”

But Uvenk once again interrupted, “Too far, Wrex! Your clan may rule, but this thing is not krogan.”

Shepard's blood boiled, but Uvenk stormed off before she could bite his head off.

“Idiot.” Wrex looked at the retreating figure before turning back to friends.

“What happens if he doesn't join a clan?” Garrus asked.

“The clanless are not respected,” Wrex told them. “A tank-bred, probably more so. His disposition is what it is, rite or no. This is just him being a krogan.” He then turned to Grunt. “Okeer didn't tell you that in the tank, did he, boy?”

Grunt was uncharacteristically quiet.

Wrex studied the young krogan for a second. “So, Grunt? Do you wish to stand with Urdnot?”

“It's your call, Grunt,” said Shepard, her voice took a gentle turn.

Grunt stepped away, pondering on the paths in front of him. Shepard observed him carefully, recalling his vocal disapproval of the homeworld he had dreamed of. At last, Grunt turned back to them and nodded. “It's in my blood. It is what I am for.”

Wrex was pleased. “Good boy. Speak with the shaman. Give him a good show, and he'll set you on the path.”

Grunt nodded, now determined.

“I appreciate you let a tank-bred join Clan Urdnot,” said Shepard, lingering behind for a moment as Garrus and Grunt headed for the shaman..

“Only because he's with you,” said Wrex. “After all, you and I killed thousands like him. Not quite as big, but many.”

_Virmire..._

“Watch yourself, Shepard. Tuchanka isn't safe and homey, like Feros and Ilos.”  
  


* * *

 

“You go beyond yourself, Gatatog Uvenk!” said the shaman. “The rites of Urdnot are dominant!”

“How do we know it will challenge him?” Uvenk argued. “He's unnatural! The beasts of the Rite could ignore him like a lump of plastic!”

Shepard didn't need to hear the rest to know they were talking about Grunt. Her blood reboiled in flash.

“They know blood, no matter the womb,” the shaman retorted. “Your barking does not help your case.”

“I'll speak for myself!” Grunt cut them off.

“This is the tank-bred?” asked the shaman, stepping closer to examine the young krogan. “It is very lifelike. Smells correct as well. Your protests ring hollow, Uvenk.”

“Urdnot Wrex has given us permission to seek clan status for Grunt,” said Shepard.

“Permission,” the shaman repeated, nodding. “Hmph. That is good enough, if lacking in spirit.”

“If this must stand on ritual, then I invoke a denial!” Uvenk protested. “My krantt stands against him! He has no one!”

The shaman groaned. “My patience is tested, but Uvenk invokes correctly. Grunt, who is your krantt? Your allies willing to kill and die on your behalf?”

“We are,” Shepard spoke up before Grunt could answer. “Name his enemy and it will die! Grunt is the perfect krogan, and he will strengthen Clan Urdnot.”

“Spoken well!” praised the shaman. “Most aliens – and some krogan--” He gave Uvenk a pointed look. “--do not understand our ways. I believe this human does.”

“Aliens don't know strength!” claimed Uvenk right at Shepard's face. “My followers are true krogans! Everything about Grunt is a lie--”

_A lie?!_ That was when Shepard had enough. Without thinking, she rammed her head against the plate of Uvenk, with more than enough force to knock the giant krogan back a step. The impact was so strong her ears rang and her vision blurred. Still, she stubbornly maintained remain on her feet without making a sound in pain.

She swore she heard Garrus trying hard to suppress a laugh.

“You!” Uvenk grumbled, touching his plate. “You dare!”

Ignoring the head-splitting pain, Shepard arched an eyebrow up high as a silent 'So?'.

The shaman boomed in laughter. “I like this human! She understands!”

“I withdraw my denial,” Uvenk said. “This will be decided elsewhere!” He walked past Shepard and deliberately bumped his shoulder against her.

Her head hurt too much to retaliate. Shepard had to wonder if she had fractured her skull. Miranda would give her crap for this, that much Shepard was certain.

“You have provoked them,” said the shaman almost too happily. “Reason enough for me to like you! They're your problem now.”

“Let's get started,” said Shepard.

“To begin the rite, only the candidate and his krantt are required. You love battle, don't you, Shepard? The last gasp of a dying opponent?”

Shepard only smirked.

“Bring your love of the fight to Grunt's trial, and he will succeed.”

She gestured vaguely at Uvenk. “Is that krogan gonna be a problem?”

“He is forbidden to interfere,” the shaman told her. “Will he? During the Rite of Passage, you must be ready for anything, Shepard. From what you've shown me, you will not disappoint.”

That was as good of a permission to kill as any.

“Ready for this?” Shepard asked Grunt.

“Be warned,” said the shaman before the young krogan could answer. “Once it is started, you must see it through – to success or death.”

“Just another day on the Normandy,” Garrus mumbled.

Grunt nodded.

The shaman grinned. “Excellent.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Tuchanka, Rite of Passage Battleground

 

“This is Tuchanka's most recent scar,” the shaman explained as they exited the vehicle. “The last surface city to fall in the rebellions. The keystone was at the heart. It has survived wars and the passage of centuries. It endures – like the krogans.”

The wind blew. Dust surrounded them as they followed the shaman further into the ruin.

“If you wish to join Clan Urdnot,” the shaman told Grunt, “you must contemplate the keystone and its trails.”

“What will happen?” asked Grunt.

“Who knows?” said the shaman. “You must adapt. You must thrive, no matter the situation. Any true krogan will.”  
  


* * *

 

“Now I know why they didn't tell us details!” said Garrus as he reloaded his sniper rifle behind a cover.

They had fought wave after wave of battles with Tuchanka's finest. From smaller creatures like varrens to giant fire-breathing kilxens. But never had Shepard expected to see this. A thresher maw.

Grunt, however, didn't share his older teammates' dismay. “Finally! An enemy worth fighting!”

“Watch out for the--” Shepard had to roll away before she could finish her warning, dodging the acid spit from enormous creature.

She had fought and killed thresher maws before. But that was inside a mako, with cannons and machine guns. Now on foot with nothing but her guns, Shepard might as well be naked as her armor wouldn't provide much protection against this particular enemy. One smack of its tentacle would be an instant death.

Desperate time called for desperate measure, Shepard holstered her rifle and pulled out the arc projector. Power cells were expensive, but reviving her would cost even more. She could only hope she had brought enough ammunition.

“Make every shot counts!” Shepard warned, knowing this battle would last for much longer than she would like.

And she was right. She had lost count of time as the battle continued. As big as their target was, it was also extremely agile, with its skin tougher than steel plate. Before she knew it, all her weapons were out of ammo, except for her heavy pistol.

“Son of a...” Shepard swore under her breath as she switched to her last weapon.

Adrenaline pumped through her veins. She had fought back waves of batarian slavers on her own, she had faced a Geth army and won, she'd be damned if she couldn't take down one goddamn bug. One giant goddamn bug.

_Wrex did it_ , a tiny voice reminded her of a conversation she once had two years ago. Yes, if Wrex could do it, so could she.

And she did. At last, the thresher maw gave a ear-piercing scream as it died in pain. Shepard almost dropped down on her knees in relief. But even before she could take a breather, a shuttle flew over their heads and landed.

“We have company,” said Grunt. “Good. I want more.”

As Joker would have put it, _You've gotta be shitting me,_ Shepard thought with a scowl.A glance at her turian twin told her Garrus shared the exact same sentiment.

Shepard glanced at her stock, two more clips of ammo for her pistol. “I'm almost out,” she mumbled to Garrus as they approached the shuttle.

He handed her his remaining clips for the assault rifle.

“What about you when you run out of ammo for your sniper rifle?” Shepard asked.

Garrus shrugged. “I'll pull that stick out of my ass and beat them with it.”

Shepard smirked, shaking her head. “I'll take half.”

“You live,” said Gatatog Uvenk as they approached. “And you brought down the thresher maw. No one has done that in generations. Urdnot Wrex was the last.”

“My krantt gave me strength beyond my genes,” said Grunt. “Which are damned good!”

“This will cause discussion,” said Uvenk. “I wonder... you say you are pure? No alien meddling in your construction? Just the warlord Okeer?”

“He is the ultimate krogan,” stated Shepard. “The best of krogan traits are distilled into Grunt. He's designed to be perfect.” _Just like Miranda..._

“Being designed is the problem,” said Uvenk. “But not made by aliens. And he is truly powerful. That is a tolerable loophole.”

“A what?” asked Grunt.

“A reason to accept you,” Uvenk explained. “You are a mistake, but your potential could tip the current balance of the clans.”

“Grunt is not a mistake!” Shepard snapped.

But Grunt took a step in front of her, almost protectively. “You spit on my father's name! On Shepard's name! But now you stop ranting because I'm strong?”

“With restrictions. You could not breed, of course. Or serve on an alien ship. But you'd be clan in name.”

“What kind of shitty terms are those?” She stepped beside Grunt. “Who are you kidding? You're just after his power! You don't really want him in your clan.”

“Of course not!” At least the krogan was willing to admit. “I didn't really want to cooperate with Clan Urdnot either, but I had to. Clan Gatatog is on the verge – either of greatness or of joining the dust. I get traditionalist support if I fight you, and reformer support if I back you. Your Rite of Passage tipped that balance, too.”

“Why do I have a feeling you'll get a lot of traditionalist support?” Garrus commented.

Shepard agreed. “If I know Grunt, your answer is coming at muzzle velocity.”

“You do know Grunt,” said the young krogan, pleased. “This varren is dead!”

Without warning, Grunt let out a cry and charged at the nearest krogan, starting yet another battle – one that both Shepard and Garrus gladly fought for. Nobody messed with their little krogan brother under their watch.

Facing a gang of krogan was a walk in the park after battling a thresher maw. The last Gatatog warrior soon dropped on the ground.

“Uvenk is meat,” said Grunt, kicking a dead body away. “Let's get out of here and leave him to rot.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Tuchanka, Clan Urdnot

 

“You have passed the Right of Passage, earning the honor of clan and name,” the shaman announced with a grin on his face.

Grunt respectfully went down on his knees in front of his elder.

The shaman continued, “Many survive, but it has been years since a thresher maw fell! Your names shall live in glory!”

Shepard couldn't hold back a proud smile.

“Grunt, you are Urdnot,” said the shaman loudly for all to hear. “You may now own property, join the army, and apply to serve under a battlemaster.”

“Shepard is my battlemaster,” Grunt announced, to Shepard's surprise. “She has no match.”

“Understood.” The shaman nodded.

The once-clanless young krogan got back on his feet as Urdnot Grunt. A grin spread on his face even with his obvious attempt to remain hide it.

“Congratulations, Urdnot Grunt.” The shaman bestowed a shotgun on the latest clan member. “Accept this token from Fortack. His weapons are the finest we have.”

The grin on Grunt's face grew even wider.

“Nice gun,” Garrus mumbled only loud enough for Shepard to hear. Her turian twin knew a good weapon when he saw one. And Shepard agreed with his assessment.

Nodding, the shaman ended the ceremony, “May your foes be strong enough to keep you sharp.”

 

* * *

 

“You just can't help making trouble, Shepard” said Wrex jokingly. “No one has killed a maw since my turn in the Rite.”

“Records are meant to be broken,” said Shepard. “You've held it long enough. How many centuries was that?”

“Too many,” said Wrex. He then examined Grunt as if it was the first time he saw the young one. “You are Urdnot Grunt,” he announced. “Welcome.”

The grin on Grunt was infectious. Shepard couldn't be more proud.

“Are you leaving soon?” Wrex asked Shepard.

“I still have to help another crew to locate his former student here on Tuchanka. A salarian, captured by the Blood Pack.”

“A salarian in Tuchanka? What's his name?”

Shepard took a second to recall. “Maelon.”

Wrex frowned. “I remember that twitchy salarian... Nothing good will come out of this, Shepard.”

“I still need to find him.”

“First the whelp, now the salarian.” The chief's voice took a surprisingly gentle turn. “How many times have you stepped in a mess for your crew, hmm?”

Shepard only smiled. “I take care of my own clan, just like you. It's not easy being the chief, huh?”

Wrex laughed in understanding. “A new clan, a new ship, and new enemies.”

“The Collectors. You've heard?”

He nodded. “A certain asari tipped me off. Takes me back to the old days,” Wrex reminisced. “Us against the unknown, killing it with big guns. Good times.”

“Join us,” Shepard suggested.

“Wish I could, but I need to keep these shortsighted fools in line.”

Although disappointing, the answer was not unexpected. “At least let me give you a tour of my new ship after I've taken care of business here,” said Shepard. “Even the chief can take a night off, right? Those pyjaks can't screw up your clan in one night.”

Wrex snorted a laughter. “Guess not.”

Shepard then gave her old friend a sly grin. “Did I tell you we have a bar?”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Med Bay

 

“You've caused quite a stir in Clan Urdnot,” said Miranda with her arms folded while watching Shepard being treated for her injuries. “Headbutting a krogan? Killing a thresher maw on foot?”

Shepard shrugged then winced as Chakwas touched her forehead.

Frowning mildly, Miranda continued, “Do you have any idea how much time and money we had put in to rebuild you?”

“Two years and four billion,” Shepard answered dryly. “How could I forget?”

“And you don't need me to remind you of the stake.”

“Hey, I survived, didn't I?” Shepard reminded her. “Besides, no one told us there's a thresher maw.”

“You'd still go even if you knew,” Miranda stated as a fact.

Shepard didn't bother to deny that.

“No concussion, no bone fracture,” the doctor reported.

Shepard raised an eyebrow at her XO as a silent 'See?'

Miranda merely shook her head without dignifying an answer.

“Your upgrades saved you, Commander.” Chakwas shook her head at Shepard. “Normal human would have cracked their skull smashing against a krogan's plate. You, however, will only suffer from a nasty bruise on your forehead. Put some ice on it to reduce the swelling. The headache will linger for a day or two, I'll give you something for the pain. But if your vision becomes blurry, come to me at once.”

“Understood.” Shepard put her shirt back on. “Thanks, doc.”

“We have located Mordin's student,” her XO told her as they exited the med bay. “Clan Weyrloc has him.”

“We'll go get him now.”

“No, you're not,” said Miranda. “If Blood Pack wanted to kill him, he'd be dead by now. If they needed him to be alive, he'd still be there in a day or two. Either way, this can wait after you've rested for a few hours.”

Shepard flashed a tiny teasing smirk. “Didn't know you care.”

Miranda snorted indignantly, but it was a front, Shepard knew. “I've spent two years of my life on you, of course I care.” She steered Shepard towards the kitchen. “Eat and get some rest. I'll have our rescue team ready whenever you are. This time, I'm coming with you.”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Flashback from Ch 23 “Virmire” in part 1 of this story, rewritten to Shepard's POV. 

You can always find me at gmail – pinoko19, or tumblr where I update every time there's a new chapter – pinoko-k.

Thanks for reading!


	26. Old Blood

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 25: Old Blood

Year: 2185CE

Location: Tuchanka, Clan Weyrloc

 

“Trouble,” Grunt warned with a little laugh as he rushed forth and started shooting at the flame-breathing kilxens. “On the ground. Now!”

Tuchanka was far from the most hospitable planet, even their insects were deadly. While the bugs problem was quickly taken care of by their trigger-happy krogan friend, from afar, Shepard spotted a group of krogan coming from the building behind.

“Here comes their welcoming committee,” said Garrus, his beloved sniper rifle was already in his hands.

“Blood Pack,” said Miranda, her body started to glow in a blue.

Strangely, unlike the other krogan who would charge and attack up close, these mercenaries moved behind the furthest covers. Shepard understood why when she spotted the weapons in their hands.

Rocket launchers.

“Grunt, stay back!” Shepard had to warn before the young krogan could charge into the battlefield. “Rockets!”

As soon as the last word flew out of her mouth, Blood Pack boom-squad began their attack.

Shepard hurried to jump behind a fallen pillar. Her ears rung from the rocket explosion. Switching to her sniper rifle, she peeked through the scope and saw her enemy reloading. Low firing rate was the drawback of the powerful weapon, Shepard knew she had three seconds to line up a perfect headshot. And she did, with one second to spare. A bullet flew across the battlefield and found its way between the eyes of her target.

But there was no time to celebrate a nice shot. From the corner of her eye, Shepard spotted another rocket speeding right towards her. Cursing, she threw herself onto the ground just in time before the rocket flew right over her and hit the structure behind. The already unstable wall crumbled, pieces of rubble rained on top of Shepard's lying figure.

“I hate rockets.” Grumbling, she went back to work and lined up another shot. A vorcha this time.

“I need one of those,” Grunt said behind his cover, now shooting with his assault rifle.

“Sniper rifle?” asked Garrus after taking down another boom-squad.

“Rocket launcher,” Grunt replied.

Garrus made a noise in disappointment.

“They really don't want us to go into that building,” Miranda commented as she crushed the faraway enemies with her biotics.

“And that's where I want to go,” Shepard declared. “Take them down!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Hospital

 

“Repurposed krogan hospital,” said Mordin, breaking his uncharacteristic silence since they had arrived. “Sturdy. Built to withstand punishment.”

Shepard frowned. She always hated hospitals.

“That's unfortunate,” said Garrus. “Hospitals aren't fun to fight through.”

“What is fun to fight through?” asked Grunt.

“Gardens, electronics shops, for instance,” Garrus replied.

“And antique stores,” Shepard added.

“Yes, but only if they're classy,” said Garrus.

“That body. Human.” Mordin pointed at it down a flight of stairs. “Need to take a look.”

“What's a human doing here?” Miranda wondered aloud.

Mordin's omni-tool lit up as he ran a scan. “Sores, tumors, ligatures showing restraint at wrists and ankles. Track marks for repeated injection sites.”

“Test subjects?” Shepard desperately hoped her guess was wrong.

Mordin nodded. “Victim of experimentation.”

“Can we identify the body?” asked Shepard

“No tattoos or ID. Maybe slave or prisoner. Maybe merc or pirate. Irrelevant now.” Mordin's calm tone was quite eerie. “Clearly part of krogan tests to cure genophage.”

Shepard scowled. “Why would they use human to test a cure for genophage?”

“Humans useful as test subjects,” Mordin explained. “Genetically diverse. Enables exploration of treatment modalities.” The professor went quiet for a moment as he studied the scan. “Positions of tumors suggests deliberate mutation of adrenal, pineal glands. Modifying hormone levels. Counterattack on glands hit by genophage. ” He stopped to take a breath. “Clever.”

“Clever?” said Garrus. “That sounds bad.”

“Are they close to curing the genophage?” asked Shepard

Mordin shook his head. “Can't say. Need more data. Conceptually sound, though. Genophage alters hormone levels. Could repair damage with hormonal counterattack.”

Cure for genophage? Wrex would be thrilled. But at what costs? Shepard cast another glance at the dead human. A female. Someone out there was missing a daughter, a sister, or even a mother.

“Too late to help the dead.” Mordin turned off his scan and stood up. “Focus on Maelon.”

 

* * *

 

Unlike the heavily guarded perimeter, the rest of the hospital seemed abandoned. Still, Shepard wouldn't let her guard down. Maelon was here, and so was the Blood Pack.

When they entered what seemed to be the main hall of the hospital, Shepard heard footsteps. “Get ready,” she warned the others.

A krogan led a pack of mercenaries out onto the balcony above. Unlike the other Blood Pack, this group chose not to attack on sight. While Shepard welcomed this break, her finger remained the trigger of her rifle.

“I am the speaker for Clan Weyrloc, offworlders,” said the leader. “You have shed our blood. By rights, you should be dead already. But Weyrloc Guld, the Chief of Chiefs, has ordered that you be given leave to flee and spread the message of our coming.”

“How generous,” Garrus mumbled.

“If I flee, I might trip on the bodies of krogan I killed to get here.” Shepard casually motioned behind her. “I think I'll take my chances.”

“You killed our youngest and weakest, human!” said the clanspeaker. “If you walk away now, you can tell your children that you saw Clan Weyrloc before our Blood Pack conquered the stars. You think the Urdnot impressive? They are pitiful! Weyrloc Guld will destroy them! The salarian will cure the genophage and Clan Weyrloc will spread across the galaxy in a sea of blood!”

“Appears they discovered Maelon's work,” Mordin whispered to her. “Unfortunate.”

“The krogan were wronged!” shouted the clanspeaker. “We will make it right, and then we will have our revenge!”

Shepard snorted loudly. “Half the galaxy sees the krogan as victims! If you start a war, you'll lose their support!” She took a step forward and demanded, “If you care about the future of Clan Weyrloc, you will hand over Maelon. Now!”

“We have the Blood Pack, and we have the salarian! When our clan numbers in the millions, we will not need support! When we cure the genophage, Weyrloc Guld will rule all krogan! The Krogan Rebellions will become the Krogan Empire! ”

“Battlemaster, let me kill him!” Grunt volunteered.

Shepard held up a hand to stop him. Then, through their radio, she whisper a warning for her team, “Stand back.”

The clanspeaker continued his rant, “The surviving races will frighten their children with tales of what the Blood Pack did to the turians! The asari will scream as their Citadel plunges into the sun! We will keep salarians as slaves and eat their eggs as delicacy--”

Without another word, Shepard shot at the gas tank under the balcony.

Startled, the clan guards drew their guns, but the clanspeaker laughed. “See? The human cannot even hit a simple target!”

Shepard's grin grew as she fired another shot into the now gas-filled air. The explosion shook the sturdy building violently. A fireball incinerated everyone on the balcony, including the clanspeaker, who dropped on the ground with the most painful scream. All his previous bravado was gone as the fire consumed his flesh.

Even through her armor, Shepard could feel the heat.

“Not misplaced shot. A well-placed one.” Mordin nodded with approval. “Explosives useful. Burn through krogan's armor.”

“More incoming!” Garrus warned, and battle resumed.

Grunt laughed as he started shooting at the rest of the entourage. Blood Pack mercenaries or Weyrloc guards, krogan or vorcha, it made not difference to Urdnot Grunt. All were pyjaks and varrens in his eyes, as he had told Shepard shortly after his Rite of Passage. After all, it was only yesterday that they had taken down a thresher maw on foot.

Although outnumbered, the battle ended soon enough. When the last of the Blood Pack died, Grunt approached her with the biggest grin on his face. “That was fun, Shepard! They thought you'd missed, and BAM!”

“He crossed the line when he started threatening the turians,” said Shepard, reloading her rifle. “And eating salarian eggs? That's just tasteless.”

Grunt snickered a bit. “Heh heh... 'tasteless.'”

Shepard shook her head at his little joke. As big and powerful as he was, Grunt was just a kid. “Let's keep moving.”

 

* * *

 

“Labs likely through there.” Mordin pointed ahead. “Can smell antiseptic, hint of dead flesh.”

“Smells lovely,” said Garrus with his voice coated in sarcasm.

“Next time we should fight in a garden,” Shepard quipped as they followed Mordin into the lab. “For once I'd like to stop and smell the roses in between killing.”

“Never thought you're the romantic type,” Miranda teased with a hint of smirk.

“I'm not,” Shepard insisted. _At least I wasn't. Maybe someone has rubbed off on me._ “But sometimes I prefer the smell of roses over the metallic scent of gunshots.”

“What are... roses?” asked Grunt.

“A type of flower from Earth,” Shepard explained. “Beautiful, but it has thorns.”

“Hmph. Thought it was some Earth delicacy. Never mind.” The young krogan seemed disappointed. “Anyone else hungry? No?”

“We're surrounded by the smell of antiseptic and decayed flesh, and you're hungry...” Garrus gave him a sideways look. “Is there any smell that doesn't make you hungry?”

Grunt returned his look with a shrug. “I don't know yet.”

“Active console. May contain useful data.” Mordin approached and activated it. “Genetic sequences. Hormone mutagens still steady. Protein chains, live tissue, clones tissue. Very thorough.” The professor nodded with approval. “Standard treatment vectors. Avoiding scorched-earth immunosuppressants to alter hormone levels. Good. Hate to see that.”

Garrus studied the salarian. “You know, most people wouldn't be so causal about developing a sterility plague.”

“Not developing. Modifying,” Mordin clarified. “Much more difficult. Working with confines of existing genophage. A hundred times the complexity. Errors unacceptable. Could cause total sterility, malignant tumors. Could even reduce effectiveness. Worse than doing nothing. Had to keep krogan population stable. One in one thousand. Perfect target, optimal growth.” He paused, then added, “Like gardening.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. However bizarre the analogy was, it actually made sense. “So you're working just as hard to keep the population from falling?”

“Yes.” Mordin nodded, pleased that she understood. “Could have eradicated krogan. Not difficult. Increased mutation to degrade genetic structure further. Chose not to. Rachni extinction tragic. Didn't want to repeat. All life precious. Universe demands diversity.”

_The universe and a well-balanced team_ , Shepard thought.

“Commander,” Miranda called out from an operating table on the other side of the lab. “They're testing on their females.”

Mordin examined the datapad. “Dead krogan. Female. Tumors indicate experimentation. No restraint marks. Volunteer.”

“Volunteer?” Shepard frowned.

“Sterile Weyrloc female willing to risk procedures. Hope for cure.” He shook his head, his voice was full of pain. “Pointless. Pointless waste of life.”

“You all right?” asked Shepard, concerned.

“Genophage affects fertility. Doesn't kill. Goal was to stabilize population. Never wanted this. Can see it logically... but still unnecessary. Foolish waste of life. Hate to see it.” The professor slowly waved a hand above the body and whispered, “Rest, young mother. Find your gods. Find someplace better.”  
  


* * *

 

It was at the lowest level where they found their target. Yet, something didn't seem right.

“Maelon,” Mordin breathed. “Alive. Unharmed.”

The salarian was busy working in front of the consoles. He only bothered to spare them a quick glance before turning back to his work, all without acknowledging his old mentor.

“No signs of restraint,” Mordin continued to observe as they approach. “No evidence of torture. Don't understand.”

Maelon finally whipped around to face the older salarian. “For such a smart man, Professor, you always have trouble seeing evidence that disagreed with your preconceptions. How long will it take you to admit that I'm here because I wish to be here?”

“Maybe the Weyrloc brainwashed or drugged him to keep him under control,” said Shepard.

“Unlikely,” said Mordin. “Pupils normal. Body language consistent with standard metabolic state.”

Maelon crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Please, Professor. You wrote a paper on this. Forced behavior modification always results in mental degradation. Whether from Reaper indoctrination or drugs, test subjects always lose higher cognitive function.”

“Not brainwashed or conditioned,” Mordin agreed. “Need Maelon at peak capacity for work. Must be alternate source of coercion.”

“Or maybe he wasn't kidnapped,” said Miranda. “He came here voluntarily to cure the genophage.”

Maelon nodded.

“Impossible,” said Mordin. “Whole team agreed! Project necessary!”

“How was I supposed to disagree with the great Doctor Solus?” Maelon snorted. “I was your student! I looked up to you!”

“Experiment performed here. Live subjects! Prisoners! Torture and executions!” The professor's voice raised with each word. “Your doing?”

The protege didn't deny the accusation. “We've already got the blood of millions on our hands, Doctor. If it takes a bit more to put things right, I can deal with that.”

Shepard was disgusted. “You honestly think the experiments you did here are justified?”

“We committed cultural genocide! Nothing I do will ever be justified!” said Maelon. “The experiments are monstrous... because I was taught to be a monster!”

Shepard glanced over at Mordin who looked gravely disappointed... and hurt.

“No. Never taught you this, Maelon,” said the professor, shaking his head.

“So your hands are clean!” Maelon snorted in exasperation. “What does it matter if the ground is stained with the blood of millions?! You taught me that the end justified the means. I will undo what we did, Professor. The only way I know how.”

“You talked about killing, but the genophage isn't lethal,” Shepard pointed out. “It only affects fertility rates.”

“Krogan fight over fertile females,” Maelon argued. “They become mercenaries or pirates because they see no alternative! They would be thriving in a cultural renaissance now had we not decided that this is what they deserved!”

“Inaccurate,” said Mordin. “Krogan population resulted in war. Simulations were clear!”

“What happens if the genophage is cured and the krogan expand again?” asked Shepard. “That will be on your head, Maelon!”

“We justified this atrocity by saying the krogan would cause havoc and war if their population recovered,” Maelon countered. “But look at the galaxy! Batarian attacks in the Traverse, Geth attacks on the Citadel. Is this a more peaceful universe? The assault on your Eden Prime might never have happened if we had let the krogan recover. We'll never know.”

“That's bullshit!” Shepard snapped. “How would a krogan population explosion have done anything to stop Saren and the Geth?”

“An increased krogan population would have forced the Council to take steps, likely involving colony rights in the Traverse. The turian fleets would be vigilant for any military activity in the area. They might have stopped the Geth at Eden Prime.”

“Supposition,” Mordin pointed out. “Impossible to be certain.”

Shaking his head, Maelon took a step closer to his former mentor. “Don't you see? We tried to play god, and we failed! We only made things worse... and I'm going to fix it.”

“Fix it?” Shepard scowled. “Do you even know what the Weyrloc's plan is? Torturing turians, destroying the Citadel, enslaving salarians!”

“And eat their eggs,” Grunt added.

“The galaxy is far from peaceful,” said Shepard. “The last thing we need is another war!”

Mordin announced suddenly, “Have to end this.”

Maelon pulled out his pistol and aimed at them, shifting from Mordin to Shepard erratically as if he couldn't be sure who should go down first. “You can't face the truth, can you, Professor? Can't admit that your brilliant mind led you to commit an atrocity!”

To everyone's surprise, Mordin rushed forth and punched Maelon in his face then striped away his gun.

“Unacceptable experiments,” said Mordin firmly, pinning the younger salarian against the consoles with the gun shoved right at his horrified face. “Unacceptable goals. Won't change. No choice.” The professor paused then claimed in a quiet, calm voice, “Have to kill you.”

“Wait!” Shepard called out. “You don't need to do this, Mordin. We just need to shut this place down. You're not a murderer!”

The hand on the pistol shook. The professor took a breath and gasped, as if waking up from a nightmare. “No. Not a murderer.” He took a step back, his arms hanged on his sides. “Thank you, Shepard.”

Maelon slumped against the console in relief.

“Finished, Maelon,” Mordin ordered. “Project over.”

Garrus asked, “What if he talks to more krogan, tells the public about the modified genophage project?”

The professor shook his head. “Special Tasks Group good at covering tracks. No proof. Weyrloc willingness to work with salarian unusual. Other krogan will kill him.”

“We need to make sure he won't start his research again,” said Miranda.

“Locking his unit. Special Tasks Group can cut access to old data.” Mordin glanced at his former student. “Could start from scratch. Decades of work, though. Didn't teach you everything I knew.”

“Where am I supposed to go, Professor?” asked Maelon, on the verge of tears.

“Don't care. Try Omega. Can always use another clinic.”

“Take him back to the Normandy for now and keep an eye on him,” Shepard whispered to her XO who merely arched at eyebrow at her suggestion but nodded. She then turned to the professor, “He can come with us, Mordin. You could use some help in your lab.”

Mordin took a second to consider. “Might make a good member of the team. Willing to get his hands dirty.”

“You're joining us on the Normandy, Maelon, and I'm not asking,” Shepard told the young scientist. “The professor will decide if he wants to keep you as his assistant. If he doesn't want you around, we'll drop you off on Omega. Open a clinic there and save some lives.” With a nod towards the door, Shepard signaled her team to escort their latest recruit out.

When she was alone with the professor, Shepard swore she heard the faintest sigh.

“Apologies, Commander,” said Mordin as he approached Maelon's work consoles. His voice was calm and quiet, yet there was an unmistakable sadness to it. “Misunderstood mission parameters. No kidnapping. My mistake. Thank you.”

“Don't worry about me, Mordin. How are you feeling?”

The professor looked up at the multiple screens above them, staring at the data his former student had been working on. “Disappointed. Experiments indicate how far he's fallen. Expected it from krogan. Not one of mine. Thought Maelon better than that. Never suspected he'd go so far.” He shook his head, his shoulders slumped slightly. “Knew he was young, impressionable. Should have talked to him after. Gotten him through guilt.”

Shepard took a few step closer. “You were dealing with guilt, too. It's easy to miss someone else's needs when you're in the middle of your own soul-searching.”

“Went to Omega. Tried to get away. Should have stayed.”

“Think about the lives you saved on Omega,” said Shepard quietly. “Besides, now you have a chance to help him.”

“Yes. Thank you.” The professor took a deep breath, straightening his back. “Right, wrong, irrelevant. Maelon's research. Only loose end. Could destroy it. Closure, security.” There was a pause. “Still valuable, though.”

“If you think it could be useful, why not hang onto it?”

“Worked for years to create modified genophage. Should destroy this.” He worked on one of the consoles. With a few keystrokes, all could be destroyed. Yet, the professor lingered. “Maelon's work could cure genophage. Don't know. Effects on krogan. Effects on galaxy. Too many variables. Too many variables!”

“The price has already been paid,” said Shepard. “Deleting it won't undo any damage. Save the data, maybe we could do some good with it. Better to have it and not need it.”

“Point taken, Shepard. Capturing data, wiping local copy.” Mordin's hands worked fast on the console. “Still years away from cure. But closer than starting from scratch.”

Shepard wondered if she would live long enough to see a cure.

“Done,” Mordin announced. “Ready to go. Ready to be off Tuchanka. Anywhere else. Maybe somewhere sunny.”

“Somewhere sunny sounds nice,” Shepard agreed. “I could use a break on a sandy beach.”

“Good idea. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells.” The professor nodded. “Might run test on the seashells.”

Shepard gave her salarian friend a smile. “Let's get out of here.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Tuchanka, Clan Urdnot

 

“It's good that you saved the data,” said Wrex after hearing the story.

“It's horrible down there, Wrex,” said Shepard quietly. “The Weyrloc females who volunteered, the Urdnot scout who was tricked into thinking it's for your clan. And the humans they tested on...”

“That salarian came to me with his plan. I couldn't do it,” said Wrex, shaing his head. “I want a cure, but that was wrong. Should have known someone else would take his offer.”

“Whatever it is, it's done,” said Garrus. “We can't undo the damage, but we have the data.”

“What are you going to do with it?” asked Wrex.

“Mordin has it,” Shepard told him. “He's putting it aside for now and focus the Collectors first.”

“And if he destroyed it?” Wrex frowned.

“He won't,” said Shepard. “He's too much of a scientist to let valuable data go down the drain.”

Garrus added, “Besides, our Shepard has a copy.”

Wrex nodded with a grin. “Of course she does.”

“It may be years til we can find a cure, but it's a start,” said Shepard.

“I've waited for centuries. I can wait for a decade or two,” said Wrex. “Hell, if it works, I'll name my kid after you, Shepard.”

“Urdnot Shepard for a boy, and Urdnot Aerin for a girl,” Garrus mused. “Wonder if we'd live long enough to meet your namesake.”

“Our lifetime won't be too long if we don't survive the suicide mission,” Shepard kindly reminded her turian twin.

Wrex waved a hand. “You crawled back from the void, Shepard. If being spaced won't keep you down, nothing will.”

“Let's hope you're right.”

The krogan chief eyed her with a teasing grin. “What? Are you getting soft now, princess?

Princess... That brought her back to the good old days traveling with her now best friends. A smirk spread across Shepard's face. “Not as soft as you with your ass sitting on the throne, you fossil,” she countered with an old insult she had used two years ago. “I killed a thresher maw yesterday. What have you killed lately?”

“Come on, Shepard, give him a break,” said Garrus. “He's old. He probably doesn't even remember how to shoot a gun.”

The krogan chief boomed in laughter and pushed himself off his throne. “All right, that's it! Let's go find a thresher maw. Let Uncle Urdnot show you how it's done!”  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Not all loyalty missions will be featured, only those that are relevant to the plot in ME3 will be written, or else this story will go to 50+ chapters.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	27. Family Matters

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 26: Family Matters

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 Starboard Observation

 

The lounge was quiet, almost empty, except for two best friends. They were engaging in conversation, although not with each other. With a cup of hot chocolate within reach, Shepard lounged comfortably on a chair next to Garrus, her legs resting on the table. While her turian twin quietly typed away on the terminal in front of him, Shepard opted to use the omni-tool to communicate.

On the other side of the galaxy, Kaidan was having a break between his training. An hour was all he had before he had to dive back into another gruesome biotic obstacle course or whatever they did to train biotic instructors. Kaidan had explained to her once, but he might as well be speaking in turian with her universal translator malfunctioned.

Despite both their busy schedules, they managed to maintain constant communication, through vids, voice, or texts. Tonight, they picked the last one. Her long fingers danced on miniature keyboard as words began to form. This time, she was telling him her little adventure on Omega a few days ago.

“You used yourself as a bait to seduce an Ardat-Yakshi?” Even though those were just texts on her screen, Shepard could almost hear the shock in Kaidan's voice inside her head.

“It worked,” she replied.

“You're lucky you didn't fall into her trap.”

“It wasn't luck. I wasn't interested. She's not my type.”

“Didn't know you have a type.”

“Someone who can fix my omni-tool and cook me a nice dinner.” A tiny grin started to spread. “Someone who can kill with their mind so I don't have to bring a gun when we're on a date, and has the magic touch to calm me down when I'm pissed.”

“That's a tall order, Commander.”

“Really? I just picked one up somewhere in Vancouver. Thought all Canadians were like that. Guess I hit the jackpot.” Shepard knew that somewhere in the Arcturus Station, someone just laughed in front of a terminal in Arcturus, probably earning him a few stares. That thought alone made her chuckle, disrupting the peaceful silence in the observation lounge.

“Never met a real Ardat-Yakshi,” Kaidan told her. “Not that I know of anyway. Think I dodge a bullet there.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

He continued, “Seriously. I think I would have been a goner.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes at her screen. “Alenko.”

“Kidding!”

Her smile returned. “You'd better be, or I'll have to kill all the Ardat-Yakshi in this galaxy.”

 

* * *

 

Finally, he saw her name appeared on his list.

“Hey, glad I caught you,” Garrus sent out a message to his sister quickly before she logged out. How long had it been since he last talked to Sol? Garrus couldn't remember.

Next to him, Shepard suddenly chuckled out loud at her omni-tool. Garrus didn't even need to use his detective skill to figure out it was Kaidan who was on the other end of the extranet. That smile on Shepard's face was a dead giveaway.

Garrus was happy for both of them, especially for Shepard. If anyone deserved a little bit of happiness in their life, it's Aerin Shepard. After all, dying would take a toll on even the strongest person.

“Just about to head to bed,” Solana replied after a few seconds. “Late my time. Where are you?” 

Well, they had just left the Terminus Systems after their detour to locate Jacob's father who turned out to be a sick criminal, and now they were heading to Pragia in the Attican Traverse, to a place where Jack could face a ghost of her past. Shepard had been on a roll in the past two weeks, sweeping across half of the galaxy to help her crew. From Tuchanka, to Zorya, then to Omega, and Aeia. That's the Shepard he knew and respected, always looking out for her team, just like she had helped him capture Dr. Saleon two years ago.

But, he couldn't tell Solana any other that. Not that she would believe him anyway. “Come on, you know I can't tell you that,” said Garrus. “Not a secure channel.”

“Oh please, Garrus.” He could almost see his sister rolling her eyes at him. “You don't have to be all secretive. Illium?”

_Try the other side of the galaxy_. “Give it up, Sol.”

“You're one to talk. Still playing at Spectre, even after all these years.”

Was that why he was here? Pretending to be a Spectre on a mission to save the galaxy with the real deal? Two years ago, he had left C-Sec and followed Shepard to hell, all in the name of justice without red tapes, but what about this time? Was it for humanity? Or was it just an excuse to go running and gunning with his best friend – the best soldier he'd ever met, the first and only human Spectre? Perhaps it was both, perhaps it was just the latter. Either way, it didn't matter. He was here to help Shepard, and he would see it through.

“How's Mom?” Garrus changed the topic before the conversation turned sour.

“Last round of treatments didn't go so well.”

“Damn it.” Corpalis Syndrome – a rare disease that caused neurological degeneration, a goddamn illness that had reduced his loving mother into a shadow of her former self.

“We may try an offworld center,” Solana told him. “Some salarian doctors have something that might work. It's not covered, though.”

Garrus snorted. “Of course not. I can pay for the treatments.”

“That's a nice thought. I could really use you here, though.”

Garrus cast a quick glance at the woman sitting next to him. Shepard took a sip from her mug before returning to her ongoing chat session. Despite the differences in race and gender, culture and background, he had more in common with Shepard than any other turians – granted, he was a bad turian to start with. Shepard understood him, even better than his own sister, than his father. A kindred spirit, if such a thing even existed. If he could choose his family, Shepard would be his sister. An older sister he would look up to, who would also bail him out and save his ass, or perhaps even a twin sister where they would get in trouble together.

And now, his human sister needed his help, Garrus could never abandon her. Saving the galaxy and humanity versus providing emotional support for his family, Garrus already knew which one he would choose. He could only hope his father and his sister would understand his choice someday. After all, it was the right thing to do.

Still, it pained him to type two simple words, “I can't.”

The silence on the other side was chilling.

Garrus settled for the next best option. “How much for the first round?”

“Forget it.”

And, once again, he manage to piss his sister off. That was why they hardly ever talked even though he wanted to. Garrus swallowed a sigh and offered, “I can pay.”

“Sure you can.” Even through texts, Garrus could hear the sarcasm in Solana's voice. Something did run in the family. “You lost your C-Sec job, and what about that contract job you were doing up until recently?”

“Yeah, it ended badly.” Garrus grimaced behind the terminal. _Ten good men died._

“So don't give me more garbage about how you're going to help. You obviously can't help or won't bother. Damn it, you haven't even bothered to sync up for a video chat since you lost that damn job!”

_Because I have this damn scar on my face. Because I don't want you or Dad to worry_ .

Oblivious to the truth, Solana continued, “If you're so ashamed to look me in the eye, then why are we even talking? Go have your fun doing merc work or screwing around or whatever. Just don't act like you care.”

It felt worst than taking another rocket to his face; it knocked the wind out of him. For the next few minutes, Garrus could only stared at the screen until the words began to blur and soon turned into fuzzy lines. His sister's sharp words seared inside his head. He wanted to tell her everything that had happened on Omega, he wanted to explain, but he couldn't. Some fights were meant to be fought alone. It was his burden, his guilt, and his vengeance.

He half-expected his hot-headed sister to exit the chat in a fury, yet she remained, perhaps waiting for him to explain himself. Maybe someday he would tell her everything, but not now. Not today.

When Garrus finally brought himself to respond, he only said, “You're right, Sol. I'm so sorry.”

A minute passed by, and there was no response. An apology was not enough; it wasn't what Solana needed, but it was all he could give her. Another minute gone by before a line appeared on the screen, “No, I'm sorry. Things are rough with Mom. The salarians are expensive as hell.”

“I wish I could help.”

Yet another pause on the other side.

Garrus tried again. “I'm going on a trip. Might be away from the relays for a while.”

“Another pleasure cruise?” Again, the sarcasm was cutting.

_ Another trip to hell.  _ “You know me.”

“Send me something nice.”

_ If I can even make it back... _ “I'll be in touch when I can.” That's all Garrus could promise. 

Breathing out a quiet sigh, Garrus ended the chat and sat back. With the hit of a button, the conversation with his sister disappeared in front of his eyes, though it was forever etched on his mind.

“Something wrong?” asked Shepard, glancing up from her omni-tool.

Garrus shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. “Just talked to my sister.”

“How is Solana?”

“She's fine.”

Shepard studied him for a second, then quickly typed something on her omni-tool before switching it off. She shifted in chair and leaned closer, giving him her full attention. “But?” she probed.

She was good. Garrus briefly wondered if he could hide anything from Shepard, but then he realized he didn't need to. Whatever it was that he's facing, she'd understand. “It's my mom.”

She knew about the disease. He had told her.

“How is she doing lately?” Shepard asked, concerned.

“Her last treatments didn't go so well,” said Garrus quietly. It felt weird to say it aloud, almost as if admitting to himself things were bad. Very bad.

A frown settled on Shepard's face. “I'm sorry, Garrus. Is there anything we can do?”

“They can get her to some salarian doctors in an offworld center.”

“That's great. Do it.”

If only it's that simple. “Well... I've never told Sol where I am. As far as she knows, I lost my job at C-Sec, and ended up being a mercenary.”

“That... isn't far from the truth.”

“Yeah.” He took a breath and shook his head. “She thinks I'm screwing around and won't tell me how much mom's treatment is going to be. Salarian doctors are expensive; I can pay, but...” he trailed off, feeling drained from the conversation with his sister.

Lucky for him, he didn't need to explain further. Shepard continued for him, “Sol won't believe you have that kind of money, and you can't tell her what you've been doing.”

“Exactly.” Garrus was relieved. He knew she'd understand.

Shepard sat back and considered for a moment. “Like it for not, this is a Cerberus-funded mission, and you're a part of it. If they could spend four billion credits on me, they could easily help your mom. It's the least they could do in exchange for your service.”

“I don't need their credits.”

“You could use their connections,” she reminded him. “I'll go ask Miranda to pull some strings for you, see if she can get us the best doctors and the best care for your mom.”

He knew Shepard was right. This was a job, and he wasn't paid. “I guess it can't hurt. Miranda probably has a copy of my chat with Sol by now anyway.”

“We should also talk to Mordin,” Shepard suggested. “He probably knows something about Corpalis Syndrome. Even if he doesn't, he might find it fascinating enough to study it. Who knows? He might even find a cure.”

Garrus' eyes lit up. He had forgotten about their resident salarian mad scientist. “Yeah, I wouldn't put it pass him. He's crazy, but he's a genius.” Perhaps not all hope was lost. A weight was lifted from his shoulders. “Thanks, Aerin, I appreciate your help.”

Shepard flashed a grin. “Shut up, Garrus. You're the closest thing to a family I have out here. Hell, I see you more often than I see my mom.”

That warmed his heart. “I could say the same. You certainly understand me better than anyone in my family.”

“Yeah?” Her grin grew. “Let's see if I know what you need right now. Come with me.” She picked up her mug and got up, then motioned him to follow. As always, Garrus answered her beckon without questions.

Shepard tapped on her earpiece as they exited the quiet room. “Hey, Mordin. Got a minute? Meet me at the bar. We have something to discuss.”

“Mordin and a bar?” Garrus glanced at the woman as they crossed the hallway to the other side of the ship. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Shepard shot him a knowing look. “You need to talk to Mordin to settle your mind or else you won't be able to sleep tonight.” She draped an arm across his shoulders. “Besides, I'm sure you could use a drink right about now. How does turian brandy sound?”

Garrus had to smile. “I take back what I just said. You understand me better than anyone in this damn galaxy.”

Shepard laughed. “Like a twin you never had.”

“You read my mind.”

A sister. A best friend. And the person he respected the most. To hell and beyond he would follow her, until the day they both died.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Port Observation

 

Mordin stoke his chin thoughtfully then nodded. “Will make some calls. Special Tasks Group can lift clearance for further research. Donation to hospital will help.”

“How much do you think is necessary?” Shepard asked while filling Garrus' drink.

“Not credits,” said Mordin. “Need something special.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Mordin looked at her. “Collector tissues.”

“You serious?” asked Garrus.

“Yes. Serious matter,” said Mordin. “Samples of rare species are highly sought after. Money can't buy.”

“And we'll be killing Collectors anyway, might as well collect some samples,” said Shepard, nursing her own cup of hot chocolate, which was lukewarm by now. She didn't mind, though. “How's your own research on the Collectors going, Mordin?”

“Made breakthrough. Can share results now,” the professor declared excitedly. “Discovery. Based on Prothean-Collector connection, can examine technology, chart Reaper species modification. Fall of Protheans.”

“T'Soni is going to kick herself for missing this,” Garrus commented then took a drink.

“What happened?” asked Shepard.

“Early stages similar to indoctrination,” Mordin told them. “Can guess captured Protheans lost intelligence over several clones generations. Cybernetic augmentation widespread afterward. As Protheans failed, Reapers added tech to compensate. Mental capacity almost gone, replaced by overworked sensory input, transfers. Transmitting data to masters.”

Shepard frowned.

The professor continued, “No glands, replace by tech. No digestive system, replaced by tech. No soul! Replaced by tech. Whatever they were, gone forever.” He paused and looked at them in turn. “Understand now? No art, no culture. Closer to husks than slaves. Tools for Reapers. Worse than the Geth. Protheans dead. Collectors just final insult. Must be destroyed.”

“What does art have to do with anything?” Shepard asked.

“Cultural artistic expression reflects philosophical evolution, interest in growth, perspective, observation, interpretation,” Mordin explained. “Suspect you won't see any art in Collector base. Culturally dead.”

Somehow, Shepard didn't think there would be paintings hanging on the wall in the Collector base either. “I didn't know you're interested in art.”

“Personal interest negligible. Sang a little. Multispecies productions for cultural exploration. Gilbert and Sullivan. Always had me do the patter songs.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow. “Wait... You performed Gilbert and Sullivan?”

A grin spread on Mordin's wrinkled face as he nodded.

“What's Gilbert and Sullivan?” asked Garrus.

“That's the names of the two men who wrote comic operas in the 19th century on Earth,” Shepard explained.

“Demonstration,” the professor announced, then stood and busted out a tune,

“ _I am the very model of a scientist salarian._  
I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian,  
I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology)   
because I am an expect (which I know is a tautology).  
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,   
I am the very model of a scientist salarian.”

The impromptu performance was well-received, and met with cheers and applause from the two audiences. The professor went on to share more of his stories and some of his other songs. Fatigue from the battles today was long forgotten. Sooner or later, one way or another, this mission would end. But it was little moments like this that Shepard would remember for the rest of her life, however long it would be.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

“ _Facility on Pragia confirmed destroyed. An attempt to restart the Teltin facility has been stopped. Jack should have no further emotional issues distracting her from the mission.”_

Miranda let out a tired sigh and sent her report to the Illusive Man.

Their detour to Pragia was nothing but a waste of time and explosives. The Teltin facility had long been abandoned. There was nothing but a crazy biotic and his hired mercs. No, made that two crazy biotics, one of them happened to be on their team.

The project was a mistake. All the children had been experimented on and sacrificed for one girl. One the ultimate biotic. The end product – Subject Zero – was even a greater mistake, for she had turned into an uncontrollable, psychotic bitch. But bombing that place wouldn't erase any of that.

Shepard had to know it was meaningless. Still, the commander had bothered to help, as she had helped everyone in her crew. Jacob, Samara, Zaeed, Grunt, Mordin, even herself. Miranda shook her head as her thoughts went to the captain of the ship. She had been wrong about Shepard, and for once, Miranda was glad she was wrong.

A blink on the screen caught her attention. “There you are...” Miranda mumbled with a smile on her face.

Oriana was online. Knowing her sister's schedule by heart, Miranda checked the local time and figured the girl had just returned home from school. Although eager to speak with her sister, Miranda made sure everything was secure before she typed, “Hello Ori.”

“Hey,” Oriana responded quickly. “Umm... is that you?”

_Good. She's vigilant._ “Yes. Don't worry, I've made sure everything is secure.”

“Secure. Right. Yeah, good call.”

_Of course._ “How are you settling in?”

“Good! The house is huge! Seems so big for me.”

A rare grin spread across Miranda's face. Her sister's happiness was contagious, even through extranet. “How are you studies going?”

“Great! I still don't like Genetic Theory, but I want to understand everything, y'know? Physics and Math all seem to breeze by.”

Miranda pulled out a copy of Oriana's report card and scanned the results. Physics and Math were both at the top of her class, as she should. Genetic Theory was above average, that needed to be improved. As for History...

A frown settled on her face. “Your mark in Late 20th Century Earth History is below the standard deviation. Did you want me to hire a tutor for you?”

“History?” There was a pause before Oriana continued, “No, it's OK. Just not interested I guess.”

She was hiding something, Miranda could just smell it. “Ori.”

“What?” Another pause. “Fiiiine... yes. OK, there's a boy in there. Danner.”

_A boy?_ The knot between her perfectly sculpted brows tightened further as Miranda looked up a list of the student's names. “Danner Gossimah?”

“Yes! How did you know that?”

“It doesn't matter,” Miranda replied, buying herself enough time to do some digging. A quick search through Cerberus database told her all she needed to know about the boy, for now anyway. “His family owns a series of restaurants on the Citadel. Good academic record. Interested in sports. Broke his legs when he was 14.”

All in all, he sounded like a good kid. Still, it wouldn't hurt to put a tail on that kid later, Miranda made a mental note to herself. Him and his family.

“Umm... sure.” Somehow, Oriana didn't seem to sound interested in knowing more about the boy she liked. Miranda was puzzled, but her sister continued without being prompted, “He's always asking questions in class. I don't think he even knows I'm alive.”

“I see.” Was that kid blind? How could he not notice such a beautiful, smart, funny, and kind young woman in the same room everyday? Points were already deducted from the boy Miranda had never even met.

“How do I... y'know, get him to notice?” asked Oriana.

Miranda arched an eyebrow. “Getting him to notice? Yes. I can help with that.”

_No, you can't!_ A tiny voice smacked her with the truth.  As skilled as she was, relationship was one of the few things Miranda wasn't good at. Growing up inside an invisible cage – albeit a luxurious one – did nothing to help her with her social skills. Even the famous book _'Men are from Omega, Women are from Illium'_ didn't help her gain much insight in that department. 

“Pleez,” the girl added.

_It's 'Please'_ , Miranda wanted to correct her but couldn't bring herself to. Oriana needed her help, not her criticism. The girl was reaching out to her, as a sister, as a friend. Miranda would be damned if she let her sister down.

Lucky for her, a quick search on the extranet gave her the answer.

“Yes. Boys,” Miranda began to answer, copying word for word from the article she'd found. “You must make sure to be always be true to yourself. I know that sounds like silly advice but if he isn't interested in the real you he won't be interested.” _What kind of bloody bullshit is that?_ Miranda wondered, yet kept typing, “You have to trust that when things are right he will notice you, and he will appreciate what you are both inside and out. You can't make yourself into something you are not--”

Before she could continue, her sister did it for her “--because you will never learn if that special someone falls for you or falls for a lie.”

_How did she know?_ “Ori I didn't--”

Again, Oriana cut her off, “You are pasting advice from 'Dear Dinah' column dated two weeks ago! We have the extranet here as well, sis. God!”

_Bloody hell! She reads those garbage religiously?_ “I didn't mean to make you angry. I only--”

“I know sis! I know...”

_Of course you do, you're a smart girl._

“I'm sorry,” said Oriana. “I just hate all this. Being here and you're off doing whatever to save the world or whatever. I just hate it!”

Miranda leaned back on her chair and shut her eyes with a sigh. This hurt her more than any physical pain she had endured in battles. Saving the world, saving humanity – it was her mission, it was her job. It was a chance to do something good with the skills she had. But at what costs?

When Miranda found herself once again facing her terminal, all she could do was to apologize. “There isn't a point to saving the world if I can't even talk to my sister. I am sorry. I am.”

There was no response.

She wasn't risking her life for humanity, she was doing it for her sister – for the only family she had. The girl was smart, undoubtedly, but was she wise enough to understand that?

Somehow, her thoughts went to Shepard and wondered how the commander would face this problem. Shepard would listen, Miranda concluded. Perhaps Oriana wasn't looking for a solid advice, but a sympathetic ear.

Shaking her head, Miranda started over again and approached the problem from this new-found angle, “Now why don't you tell me about this boy.”

For a second, Miranda thought her request would be ignored. “Yeah, OK,” Oriana replied.

Miranda let out a sigh of relief.

“He's... different.”

_Of course he is..._ Miranda snorted. “I hate him already.”

“RANDA!”

“I'm your big sister. I'm going to hate all of them. Accept it.” She could just see the pout on her sister's face. Miranda smiled a little. “Now, his eye color says blue here. Is that ocean blue or a more gun metal blue?”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Hanger Bay

 

It was a dance she knew well, and her dance partner was one of the best she had ever met. For the past weeks, Shepard had been training with Thane, honing her hand-to-hand combat skills. It was as much of a training as it was an effective form of stress relief. It'd been a long while since she'd a sparring partner on his level. His speed, his strength, his agility, all surpassed her own. Every one of his movements was elegant and graceful, it was as if the combat itself was an elaborate dance that aimed to put his partner on the ground.

Shepard had always looked forward to their sparring sessions. She had learned much from the drell. But today, Shepard could sense that something was off. Thane was slower, almost seemingly preoccupied. He could have easily seen her high roundhouse kick coming. He would have blocked and countered in the past, but just now, he merely dodged it the last second.

Shepard regained her balance and relaxed her stance. “Something wrong?” she asked. “Are you feeling sick?”

The drell's health had always been a concern, even though Shepard didn't voice it, nor did she mention it any further after they first met. He was dying man on a suicide mission to atone his sins, although Shepard didn't think it was necessary. Everyone on this ship had blood on their hands, whether it was for money, honor, or duty, it was their job to kill.

“No, no,” said Thane. “Though I supposed that is part of it. My mortality has me... dwelling on things.”

Shepard nodded, grabbing a towel off the rack, then listened quietly.

“I had a family, once,” Thane started after a pause. “I still have a son. His name is Kolyat. I haven't seen him for a very long time.”

Shepard recalled the story about his wife. “How long has it been since you talked?”

“Ten years,” said Thane. “He showed me some of his schoolwork and asked if we could... dance crazy. We did that when he was younger.”

Somehow, that reminded her of her own father, of the drawings she had proudly shown him when he was off-duty. Drawings of spaceships, and sometimes, of herself as a stick figure holding a L-shaped object representing a gun. “What sort of dance is that?”

“It's---” The drell blinked and drifted into his memories. “I check my extranet contacts. I expect an update on my next target. The console plays music. Old. Unfashionable. Kolyat jumps into the room. 'Hi, father!' Runs around in circles. I scoop him up. Toss him into the air. He shrieks, laughs. 'Spin me!' The console beeps. I put him down. Click the message. 'Father,' he pleads. Tugs my sleeve. 'I need to read this,' I say. I don't look at him.” He blinked, back to reality.

That, too, reminded her of her childhood. Shepard's voice softened. “What happened to him?”

“When my wife departed from her body, I left Kolyat in the care of his aunts and uncles. I have not seen him or talked to him since.”

Shepard frowned slightly in confusion. “Why didn't you raise him yourself?”

“My body is blessed with the skills to take life. The hanar honed them in me. I have few others.” Thane shook his head and paced away from her. “I didn't want that life for Kolyat. I hoped he would find his own way.”

“But he's without his father.”

“If he hated me, so be it,” the drell claimed in a quiet tone. “He would not have shared the path of sin.”

“That was ten years ago. Did something happened?”

“I used my contacts to trace Kolyat. He has become-- disconnected. He does what his body wills.”

“Disconnected?”

“The body is not our true self. The soul is. Body and soul work as one in a Whole Person. When the soul is weakened by despair or fear – when the body is ill or injured, the individual is disconnected. No longer Whole.”

“Is he hurt?”

“Something happened that should not have. He knows where I've been, what I've done. Years ago, I prepared a package for him. A relic of my ill-spent life. I had volus bankers store it and arranged for delivery when I died. He acquired it early. I don't really know how.”

Shepard began to understand. A dying man on a suicide mission. This might be the last chance he had to see his son. “Would you like to go see him?”

There was another pause. “Yes, but to stop him. He has taken a job as a hit man. That is not a path he should walk.”

“Maybe following your footsteps is his way of getting closer to you,” Shepard reasoned. She, too, had followed both her parents' footsteps and joined the Alliance.

“That thought haunts me more than any other.”

“We'll go to the Citadel as soon as possible.”

“Thank you.”

Before Shepard could ask him more about his son, Joker's voice came through the comm. “Commander. Jack and Miranda are in the middle of a... disagreement. Can you head it off before they tear out a bulkhead?”

Shepard let out a weary sigh. “I'll deal with it.”

Her pilot then giddily reminded her, “Take pictures!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

“Touch me and I will smear the walls with you, bitch!” Jack sneered, tossing a ball of biotic energy at her.

Miranda easily evaded the attack and release her grip on her own power. A bright blue glow enveloped her body. Her previous good mood from chatting with her sister was immediately soured by the unannounced visit of the psychotic bitch.

The door to her office opened suddenly.

“ENOUGH!” Shepard yelled as she stepped in. “Stand down, both of you!”

Miranda took a step back and reigned in her power.

“What the hell is going on?!” the commander demanded.

“The cheerleader won't admit what Cerberus did to me was wrong!” claimed Jack.

“The program was a mistake,” said Miranda. “And clearly, so were you.”

“Screw you!” Jack jabbed a finger in front of Miranda's face. Miranda didn't even finch. “You've got no idea what they put me through! Maybe it's time I showed you!”

“I said ENOUGH!” Shepard slammed a fist on the desk. That got both biotics' attentions. She turned to her XO and said, “What Cerberus did, however you candy-coat it, it's unethical. Jack was not a mistake, what they had done to her was.”

“Hear that?” Jack smirked.

Just when Miranda was about to argue, the commander turned to Jack and continued, “And you... What does it matter if Miranda admits what Cerberus did to you was wrong? It won't change a thing! She wasn't even there! Or do you care about her opinion that much?”

The two biotics turned and walked to the opposite side of the room. The commander stood in the middle.

“You both know what we're up against,” Shepard said with a firm voice. “If we fail, we'll all die. Our mission is too important to let personal feelings get in the way--”

“Fuck your feelings,” Jack cut her off and marched right in front of Miranda. “I just want her dead.”

“If we survive this, you two can tear each other apart,” said Shepard sharply. “Until then, save your anger for the Collectors or get the hell off my ship! I won't tolerate this type of behavior again, is that clear?”

“I can put aside my differences,” said Miranda icily while staring down at the other woman. “...Until the mission's over.”

“Sure. I'll do my part,” Jack agreed. “I'd hate to see her die before I get a chance to filet her myself.”

The younger biotic then stalked off with a hmph. When the door closed, Shepard released a heavy breath and shook her head. Her steel facade softened as she eyed her XO. “You two gonna be okay?”

“It's a good thing you came by when you did,” said Miranda, straightening the chairs in her office. “As long as she does her job, we'll be fine. Thanks, Aerin.”

“We have to thank Joker for his... surveillance,” said Shepard as she picked up the datapads on the floor. “I'd hate to clean the blood off the wall. Yours or Jack's.”

“Joker?” Miranda snorted and sat down. “Should have known.”

The commander settled in the chair across from her desk. “Oriana sent me a message.”

Miranda knew. She had read it a few hours ago.

“But, you already knew,” Shepard stated, although she didn't seem upset at all.

Miranda didn't deny it. “We owe you one, Aerin,” she said sincerely. “I'll never forget it.”

Shepard waved a dismissive hand. “I'm glad she's okay. How's she settling in?”

“She's doing well. She likes her new house, met new friends, and...” she trailed off, recalling one particular problem Oriana was facing. Perhaps Shepard was the right person to ask, she was definitely more... experienced. “I have a personal question, if you don't mind.”

Shepard only shrugged. “Go ahead. You know everything about me already.”

“It's not about you. It's--” Miranda decided to jump directly to the point, “How do you get a guy to notice you?”

The commander's eyes widened. They were blue, just like that Danner kid's and her own. While hers were pale icy blue, Shepard's were a shade deeper and brighter, almost like two brilliant gemstones. “You?” Shepard asked.

“Don't be ridiculous! Not me,” Miranda quickly clarified. It almost felt like a breach of trust to reveal the secret, but it was Shepard, the woman who had saved her sister. “It's Oriana.” A smile appeared unconsciously. “She'd like to get to know one of the boys in her class, but...”

“But that kid doesn't notice her,” Shepard finished it for her.

Miranda nodded.

Shepard chuckled. “With a pretty face like Oriana's, he knows she exists. He might be shy because he thinks he's out of her league.”

That was strangely enlightening. “That makes sense. There's no way he wouldn't notice Ori.”

Nodding, Shepard continued, “Tell her to talk to him. They could be friends first, before something else happens.”

_Something else..._ Miranda grimaced at that thought. “And if that didn't work out? My sister would get hurt.”

“The worst that could happen is a rejection,” Shepard pointed out with a shrug as though it was no big deal. “Yeah, it'd sting, but at least she'd have some closure and move on to the next one, a better one. You don't want her to spend the rest of her school years pining on one guy, do you?”

“Of course not.” That sounded reasonable. And if that boy was stupid enough to reject her sister, Miranda might have to pay him a visit. “Thanks, Aerin. I'll tell Ori.”

That was a conversation Miranda had never expected to have with anyone, much less the subject of the project she'd devoted two years of her life on. But Shepard was more than her patient, more than the leader of the team. Aerin Shepard was a friend, her only real friend left.

Miranda studied the commander briefly. “I've to admit, you are a puzzle to me sometimes, I'm still trying to figure you out. There's one thing I know for sure – I was wrong about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I'm trying to say is...” Miranda paused for a second. It wasn't easy, but she had to say it when she still had the chance. “I... want to apologize.”

Shepard seemed surprised. “For what?”

“I didn't fully believe that you would be up to the task,” Miranda revealed. “And it seems I was wrong. Frankly, based on what I've seen, I wish Cerberus had recruited you earlier.”

Shepard shook her head. “I am who I am because of the Alliance. I would never have joined earlier.”

“Yes, but you have no problem working with us right now.”

Shepard gave her a knowing look. “You know why I'm here.”

Miranda nodded. “And we are lucky to have you. Too many join us out of simple xenophobia, we need more people here for the right reasons.”

It was the commander's turn to study her curiously. Miranda allowed that, after all, it was only fair. “With your intelligence, you can land any job you want,” Shepard stated. “You don't have to stay with Cerberus.”

Miranda shrugged and admitted, “I envy Mordin's time spent with the Special Tasks Group. Working with people as smart as he was. Cerberus never tells me that something was impossible. They give me my resources and say 'do it'. And they've given you even more. A new life, a new ship, the Illusive Man's personal attention.”

“And the best XO.”

Miranda had to smile at that. “You would have done fine without me. I may not have believed it before, but... I don't have what you do. That fire that makes someone willing to follow you into hell itself. My father got me the best genes money could buy, guess that wasn't enough.”

Bright blue eyes landed on hers almost as if they could see right through her. “You are still bothered by your father's genetic tailoring, Miranda.” That wasn't even a question.

Miranda could easily dodge it, or dismiss it, but she didn't want to. With Shepard, she could speak freely. “This is what I am, Aerin. I can't hide it. The intelligence, the looks, even the biotics. He paid for all of that. Every one of your accomplishments is due to your skills. The only things I can take credits for are my mistakes.”

Those eyes never left hers. “Sure, your father gave you all those gifts, but you can be proud of what you've done with them. And you should be.”

Shepard could be surprisingly sweet, Miranda had the pleasure to witness that side of hers more than a few times. “Thank you. You've done more than I could, despite everything my father did to make me perfect. You're the best humanity as to offer.”

The commander shook her head and inhaled a deep breath. “If I am, then we're all doomed.”

Miranda chuckled. “You are a pain in the ass sometimes, extremely stubborn, confident almost to a point of arrogant, and you have the worst tendency to play hero.”

Shepard merely smirked and shrugged.

“But,” Miranda continued, “you're focused. And loyal. Always sticking your neck out to help your crew and your friends.” That reminded Miranda of a message she had received. “Speaking of which... Take a look at this.” She handed Shepard a datapad.

Shepard scanned it quickly. “Sidonis? You've found him?”

“He's hiding in the Citadel under a new identity. Someone named Fade helped him disappear. What you want to do with this information is up to you, Aerin. But I've a feeling we're heading to the Citadel next.”

Shepard nodded.

Miranda let out a quiet sigh. “Just as well. The Normandy needs to be upgraded properly if we want to survive a trip through the relay.

The commander added, “And the crew could use a shore leave before we head down that path.”

That path... Miranda knew what she was referring. A path of no return.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Main Battery

 

And they found him. Garrus stared at the name on the datapad. Sidonis. That bastard had been hiding in the Citadel all this time.

“What are you planning to do now?” Shepard asked.

He glanced up from the datapad and met his best friend's concern gaze. “You humans have a saying: An eye for an eye. A life for a life. He owes me ten lives, and I plan to collect.”

Shepard hesitated for a moment. “You sure that's how you want to play it?”

“I'm sure.”

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is, I'm here for you.”

_I know. And thank you._ Garrus looked her in the eye and nodded once. It was that they needed to communicate.

Shepard hit a button on the console. “Joker. Set a course to the Citadel.”

_Sidonis, you son of a bitch. Run all you want, but I'll find you._   
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2 Captain's Quarter

 

“We're going to the Citadel,” Shepard told Kaidan through vid chat before bed.

“I'm leaving in three days. I'll meet you there.”

Shepard remembered the deal they'd made. Three weeks, and she'd have to decide if she wanted him on the Normandy. Yes, the answer had always been yes. But the risks he would have to take, the price he might have to pay... “Are you sure?”

“I am,” Kaidan replied, his voice was calm but there was more than a hint of stubbornness to it. “What about you?”

_Of course I want you here._ She swallowed those words. Instead, she said, “We'll talk about this later.”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Garrus' chat with his sister, as well as Miranda's with hers, are from shadow broker's dossiers. I wish there were more of those chats available, because they show a side of the characters we don't see in game. Oh well, maybe I could make some here in the story. And yes, Miranda did buy that book.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k

 


	28. An Eye for an Eye

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 27: An Eye for an Eye

Year: 2185CE

Location: Citadel, Zakera Ward, C-Sec Station

 

The first thing Garrus heard as he stepped into the C-Sec office with Shepard was a gruff voice yelling, “You'll have to make him scream a little.” An C-Sec officer behind the desk offered a useful piece of advice to his junior colleague. “He's not gonna tell you everything just because you ask!”

“Bailey?” said Garrus, surprised to see an old face.

The officer turned his attention to them. A rare grin spread on his weathered face. “Look what the cat dragged in. It's been a long time, Garrus.”

“Nice to see you, Armando.” Garrus accepted the other man's firm handshake. He glanced at the name plate on his desk. Captain Armando-Owen Bailey. “Captain now?”

“Well, yeah. Just more work for me.” Captain Bailey shrugged. His hair had gone completely gray since Garrus had last seen him. “Heard you went to Omega, what brings you back?”

Vengeance. Justice. Right the wrong. “We're looking for someone.”

“Give me a name.” Bailey started a search on his terminal.

“A local forger,” Garrus told him. “He goes by the name Fade.”

The captain looked up from the terminal, and answered without searching, “Yeah, I know of him – the alias, anyway. He's been a thorn in the Network division's side of the last year. He works with the Blue Suns.”

“Where can we find him?” asked Garrus.

“If I knew that, he'd be in a cell,” said Bailey.

“Why haven't you caught him?” Shepard asked.

“Whoever he is, he's damned good at avoiding C-Sec. I think someone on the inside's feeding him information. Either that, or he's got access to our database and comm channels. I don't know which is worse.” Bailey shook his head with a frown. “Best I can do is put you on the trail.”

Garrus nodded.

“There's a warehouse in the marketplace,” said the captain. “Some of Fade's contacts work out of there. Go ask them some questions. Gently, of course.”

“Of course,” said Garrus.

Bailey scanned around the station before he leaned closer and said, “When you find Fade, give me a heads up, I'll get civilians out of the way.” He sat back as a sergeant returned to the station. “Stop by anytime, Garrus. It's always nice to see an old face around here.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Zakera Ward, Warehouse

 

Two krogan eyed them suspiciously as they went in. Neither of them was Fade, Garrus knew that much. Throughout his career with C-Sec, none of the forgers he had met was a krogan. Humans, salarians, and asari were the usual suspects. Some of the best works he had seen were done by asari; that's hardly a surprise since they had a thousand years to perfect their forging skills.

Just then, a volus stepped out from the back of the warehouse.

Volus forger? Possible. Although Garrus was expecting an asari or a human.

Shepard arched an eyebrow and said, “Fade? You're not quite how I imagined you.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” said the contact. “So...” He paused to breathe. “...which one of you wants to disappear?”

“I'd rather see you make someone reappear,” said Garrus.

“Ah...” Another breath. “...that's not the service we provide.”

“Make an exception.” Garrus suddenly pulled out his pistol and pointed at Fade's face to give him an incentive. “Just this once.”

“Damn it! Quick...” Another pause. “...shoot them!” Fade ordered his guards. “Shoot them, you lumbering mountains!”

Garrus's patience had been long gone before Fade could finish barking his order. He shot two concussive rounds, one at each krogan's knee as a warning.

“Big mistake,” said Shepard with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. “Next shot will be between your eyes.”

Garrus glanced at her casually. “Headshot? Too easy. I think I'll go for their testicles.”

“Heard they have four pairs. Let's make this fun,” Shepard suggested then turned to the krogan. “I'll give you three seconds. If you don't leave, he'll shoot one pair each second you stay behind.”

The guards struggled to their feet in horror.

“Sounds fun.” Garrus aimed his gun at the crotch of one guard.

“Three,” Shepard started her count down. “Two.”

The guards left before she reached one.

“Just like that?” said Fade after their retreating figures. “You're not getting paid of this!”

Shepard stepped up to Fade, looming over his much shorter stature. “We need to find a client of yours. I suggest you cooperate.”

“Wait!” said the volus. “I'm not the one you want to talk to. I'm not Fade.”

“I knew it,” Shepard mumbled.

“Well then maybe you'd like to tell us where to find him,” said Garrus, making a show of admiring his gun before holstering it.

“Y-yes. Of course. He's in the factory district, works out of the old prefab foundry.”

“I know the place,” Garrus told her.

“Uh... he's got a lot of mercs there... Blue Suns. Harkin thinks they're protecting him.”

“Harkin?” Shepard scowled. “How the hell did he end up being the Fade?”

“Well...” the volus shuffled his feet as he started to explain, “He got fired from C-Sec a while back. He used his knowledge of C-Sec and their systems to help a few people disappear. Then he made himself disappear, and Fade was born. So to speak.”

_That son of a bitch._ Garrus took a step closer to the volus and warned, “If we don't find Fade, we'll come back for you.”

“Let's go meet our 'old friend',” said Shepard, heading out of the warehouse.

“I'm sure he'll be excited to see both of us.” Garrus then made a call, “Bailey? Here's your heads up. Factory district. Prefab foundry.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Factory District

 

“There he is.” Garrus spotted his target before the taxi landed.

Ignoring the safety regulations, Shepard manually opened the door, jumped out of the vehicle, and landed with a graceful roll. Her assault rifle was already in her hands when she was up on her feet. Garrus followed right behind her.

Startled by their entrance, it took Harkin a few seconds to recognize the intruders. “Shepard? Thought you were dead!”

“Came back to haunt you,” said Shepard, aiming right at Harkin. If she wanted him dead, Harkin would have a bullet in his head by now. Somehow, the man didn't seem to know that.

“Shit!” Harkin ordered his guards, “Don't just stand there... stop them! Stop them!”

With their boss running back inside the factory for safety, the guards had the sense to hesitate. But only for a second. They obeyed the suicide order and started firing. Garrus leaped behind a crate with his gun ready and said, “Run all you want, Harkin! We'll find you!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Prefab Foundry

 

The place was a maze. As expected in a foundry, industrial crates and bulky prefabricated items were everywhere. Some of the crates contained LOKI mechs – active and hostile ones, providing a nice element of surprise to spice up an otherwise predictable battle with the Blue Suns. In short, the factory was a decent place to fight. And Garrus would have enjoyed it if his mind was in the right place.

But it wasn't. Right now, all he could think about was Harkin and Sidonis. And the ten good men who had died because of him.

Mechs and mercs, all emerged from their posts in the factory to stop the dynamic duo. But they failed.

“So, Harkin's finally gone completely bad,” said Shepard as they walked further into the factory. “What are you going to do to him if he won't cooperate?”

“He was always a pain in the ass,” said Garrus. “He's a real criminal now. Working for the Blue Suns. I should just shoot him on sight. But I need him alive, so I won't do any permanent damage. Just enough to loosen his tongue.” His eyes narrowed, thinking of that smug bastard's face. He had always hated Harkin even back at his C-Sec days. “If he doesn't cooperate, I'll beat him within an inch of his life.”

Shepard studied him briefly. “You okay? You seem to be getting tense, Garrus.”

Garrus didn't want to answer to that. No, he wasn't okay. He wasn't okay because Sidonis was still breathing. “Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear,” Garrus sidestepped the question. “If so, he knows why we're here and I don't want him tipping Sidonis off.”

Shepard wasn't fooled by his diversion, Garrus knew from her face. But, thankfully, she didn't press on.

Just then something caught Garrus' eyes. A movement. But it disappeared just as quickly.

“Did you see that?” he asked quietly.

“A mech,” Shepard confirmed his suspicion. “Setting up an ambush.”

“He's getting ready for us.”

“Let's get that son of a bitch,” said Shepard.

He knew he could always count on his best friend, his human sister. “Right behind you.”  
  


* * *

  
  


And the last mech was down. The only thing that was protecting Harkin right now was the control room he had been holing up in like a pathetic coward he was.

There were two entrances to the room. One on the left, one on the right. With a look shared between them, the two best friends concocted a silent plan. Each took one entrance to the control room, flanking the bastard within.

Shepard arrived first, blocking one of the exits with a gun and a smirk. “Going somewhere?”

“You're close. But not close enough--” said Harkin, backing up from the commander, and bumped right into Garrus.

Harkin spun around in surprise. Garrus greeted his former colleague with a smack of his rifle to that punchable face.

Without giving him a chance to recover, Garrus grabbed Harkin by the neck, slammed him against the wall, and pinned him down with an arm pressing his throat. “So, Fade... couldn't make yourself disappear, huh?”

“Come on, Garrus,” Harkin bargained. “We can work this out. Whaddaya need?”

As much as he wanted to beat the crap out of that asshole, Garrus did need something from him. Garrus loosened his grip and stepped back. “I'm looking for someone.”

“Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants.”

Garrus whipped around and sent a sharp knee to the weakest part of a human male body – any male body, really. Harkin dropped onto the ground and withered in pain.

“Ouch. Wrong answer,” Shepard quipped. “Maybe you should just tell us what we want to know.”

“Maybe.” Harkin struggled to get back on his feet. “I still haven't heard what you want.”

“You helped a friend of mine disappear,” said Garrus. “I need to find him.”

“I might need a little more information than that.”

“His name is Sidonis,” Garrus told him. “Turian, came from the--”

Harkin cut him off. “I know who he is, and I'm not telling you squat.”

“Is this information really worth all that trouble?” asked Shepard.

“I don't give out client information. It's bad for business.”

“Wrong answer, again,” Shepard breathed with a sarcastic sigh just as Garrus kicked him once again.

Harkin fell, and this time, Garrus' boot pressed right on his neck. “You know what else is bad for business?” he asked, pressing harder against the struggling human's throat. “A broken neck!”

“All right! All right! Get off me!”

The sight of this scumbag squirming under his boots was more satisfying than Garrus would ever admit. But still, he had to be careful. Humans weren't as physically tough as krogan or turians. Without proper protection or armor, human spinal core could be easily broken. For a fraction of a second, Garrus contemplated how much force would be enough to break a neck but not to kill the man. Not much room for a margin of error. That sweet sound of cracking bones might end with either a painful scream, or a deadly silence.

A comforting hand on his arm pulled Garrus back to reality. He stepped back before he could make a mistake that would set Sidonis free.

Harkin coughed and struggled to get up. “Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?”

“No, but Sidonis... opened my eyes. Now arrange for a meeting.”

“I'll meet with him,” said Shepard.

For once, Harkin did as he was told and made a call. “Yeah, it's me. There's a chance your identity might be compromised.” He paused. “That's why I'm calling. I'm sending an agent. Where do you want to meet?” Harkin paused again. “All right. She'll be there. Human, dark haired, tall. You'll know when you see her. Don't worry – I got it covered.” He ended the call and told them, “It's all good. He wants to meet you in front of Orbital Lounge in an hour.”

Shepard nodded.

Garrus knew about that place. It was a popular hangout place, especially this time of the day. That son of a bitch was smart, setting up a meeting in a crowded place would draw no suspicion. And it would make any assassination attempt much harder. But Garrus was not about to back down from a challenge, not this one. All he would need was a clean headshot without collateral damage.

Harkin started to back off from them. “So, if our business is done, I'll be going...”

Garrus grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer again. “I don't think so. You're a criminal now, Harkin.”

“So... what? You're just going to kill me? That's not your style, Garrus.”

_No, it is!_ Garrus almost said that aloud. Killing him was too easy, though; an asshole like him had to pay for what he'd done.

“Kill you?” Garrus stepped back. “No. But I don't mind slowing you down a little.” He put a bullet in the man's leg. Harkin screamed and collapsed on to the ground. “Maybe give C-Sec a blood trail to follow.”

“Bastard!” the man breathed in pain.

“Sidonis better be there,” warned Garrus. “Or I'm coming back to finish the job.”

As they exited, Shepard made a call, “Captain Bailey? This is Shepard. Garrus has a present for you. Come and get it now.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Orbital Lounge

 

“Harkin's a bloody menace,” said Garrus as the taxi drove itself to their meeting place.

“Let C-Sec deal with him, Garrus.”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right.” Harkin was the least of his concern now. Garrus' laser focus was set on Sidonis.

“You sure you want to do this?” Shepard asked again.

“Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?” Garrus snapped. “Nobody else knows what he's done! Nobody else cares!” His outburst surprised himself, but not Shepard.

“I do,” said Shepard calmly. “Let me talk to him.”

“Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind.” He turned his head away and refused to look at her. “I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us... he deserves to die!” _Does he?_ A tiniest voice inside him asked. Garrus blocked it.

But he couldn't block the soothing voice of his best friend. “Do you really believe that?”

His jaws set, not wanting to face that particular question, for the answer might not be what he thought it would be. “I appreciate your concern, Aerin, but I'm not you.”

“This isn't you either,” Shepard stated quietly. Her eyes never left his face even though he had turned away from her. Whether he liked it or not, she could see right through him.

_No, this is me,_ Garrus convinced himself, then steeled his determination before he looked back at her. “Really? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this...” He shook his head in disgust. “Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves?”

“Because killing him won't bring those ten good men back, but it'll be on your conscience.”

A part of him knew she was right. But he had come too far, and Sidonis was finally within reach. Garrus couldn't stop now. If he had to pay the heavy price of vengeance and justice, so be it. “I'll pull the trigger, just let me deal with my own damn conscience.”

“Garrus--”

“I'm sorry, Aerin. Words aren't going to solve this problem.” The taxi stopped and Garrus couldn't get out fast enough.

The tiny voice inside – however faint it was – screamed at him, urged him to listen to his friend. Garrus promptly extinguished it and focused on the mission ahead. His trigger finger twitched as he pictured a bullet flying from the muzzle of his sniper rifle and landing in between Sidonis' eyes. A clean, quick death. Yes, that's what he wanted...

_Is it, really?_

Ignoring whatever doubt he had, Garrus glanced around and found a perfect spot. High above, dark corner with a clear view of the entire lounge.

“I need to set up,” he told Shepard and pointed. “I can get a clear shot from over there.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Keep him talking and don't get in my way. I'll let you know when he's in my sights. Give me a signal so I'll know you're ready, and I'll take the shot.”

Thankfully, Shepard didn't argue further. She merely nodded.

“You better go. He'll be here soon.”  
  


* * *

  
  


“Aerin? Can you hear me?” Garrus asked, perching above the crowd with his sniper rifle ready.

Shepard's voice came through his earpiece. “Loud and clear.”

Through his scope, he could see everything down below. It wasn't as crowded as he had expected, Garrus was glad. A clean shot without collateral damage shouldn't be a problem.

He spotted Shepard entering the lounge. Garrus shifted his aim away from Shepard and scouted ahead. A male human on her right. An asari up ahead. Two salarians and a turian. No, not Sidonis. His aim shifted up. A group of humans further in. A pair of asari by the plant... And finally, he spotted a lone turian sitting on one of the benches. Garrus focused on that man and zoomed in. His mandibles twitched, his heart pounded.

Sidonis.

_There you are, you son of a bitch!_

As much as he wanted to pull the trigger and get it over with, Garrus was blocked by the crowd weaving through the lounge. He needed Shepard to lure him out in the open.

“All right, found him,” he said to Shepard. “The one on the bench. Stay where you are. Wave him over and keep him talking.”

Shepard did just that. Sidonis approached without ever realizing he was one trigger away from death.

“Let's get this over with,” said Sidonis, stopping a step in front of Shepard.

Hearing the traitor's voice again was enough to burn Garrus with rage. And while rage was one hell of an anesthetic – according to Zaeed, it was a crippling factor for a sniper. Taking a slow, deliberate breath to control his anger, Garrus zoomed in closer and spotted the back of Shepard's head.

“You're in my shot,” he told Shepard. “Move to the side.”

“Listen, Sidonis,” Shepard began without taking a sidestep. “I'm here to help you.”

“Don't ever say that name aloud,” said Sidonis in a low voice while scanning the environment around him.

“I'm a friend of Garrus',” said Shepard. “He wants you dead, but I'm hoping that's not necessary.”

“Shepard! What the hell are you doing?” said Garrus in disbelief.

“Garrus?” Sidonis breathed. “Is this some kind of joke...?” He took a step back in horror, yet not far enough for Garrus to get a clear shot.

“Damn it, Shepard!” Garrus yelled. “If he moves, I'm taking the shots!”

Still, Shepard didn't reply. Not did she move.

“You're not kidding, are you?” asked Sidonis. “Screw this. I'm not sticking around to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems...”

He turned to leave. Garrus narrowed his eyes, his trigger finger ready. Just one more step to the right...

“Don't move,” Shepard warned, grabbing the turian's arm.

“Get off me!”

“Shepard! Get out of my way!” said Garrus.

Shepard ignored that and told the traitor, “I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head.”

“Fuck,” Sidonis mumbled and did as the commander suggested.

Garrus wished he was stupid enough to make a run for the exit.

“What do you want from me?” asked Sidonis.

“Answers. Why did you betray Garrus?” Shepard demanded, her voice was low yet cutting. “Why did you betray your own team?”

“Look... I didn't want to do it... I didn't have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice,” Garrus sneered, still waiting for a sidestep, a clear shot.

Apparently, her earpiece had not been malfunctioned. Shepard heard him and echoed his statement aloud, “Everyone has a choice.”

“They got to me,” said Sidonis.

“Who did?”

“The Blue Suns. They said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?”

Shepard snorted at the poor excuse. “That's it? You were just trying to save yourself? What about the men who died?”

“Let me take the shot, Shepard,” urged Garrus. “He's a damn coward.”

Sidonis started to wander, but to Garrus' dismay, Shepard followed him each step of the way, deliberately blocking the shot.

“I know what I did,” said Sidonis, leaning against the fence nearby. His head hang low, his shoulders dropped. “I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night... sick... and sweaty. Each of their faces staring at me... accusing me.”

The finger on the trigger relaxed just a notch.

“I'm already a dead man,” said Sidonis. “I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over.”

“Just give me the chance...” said Garrus.

“You've got to let it go, Garrus,” said Shepard. “He's already paying for his crime.”

“He hasn't paid enough,” Garrus countered. “He still has his life...”

“And you'll be doing him a favor for taking it,” Shepard pointed out. “Shortening his sentence.”

He knew she was right. Damned her and her logic. “My men... they deserved better.”

“Killing him won't bring them back,” Shepard repeated her point again. This time, Garrus couldn't block the tiny voice inside him that had been agreeing with her.

They would never come back. All ten of them. Erash, Monteague, Mierin, Grundan Krul, Melanis, Ripper, Sensat, Vortash, Butler, and Weaver. Their names were carved on his visor; Garrus read through the list each morning he put it on, and then again at night when he took it off. But no mater how many times he'd read through the list of names, they would never come back.

“Tell Garrus...” Sidonis paused with a sigh. “I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right...”

_You got that right._

“Look at him, Garrus,” said Shepard. “He's not alive... there's nothing left to kill.”

And even if he killed him, the rest of his team would never come back.

“Just... go.” Garrus heard himself saying quietly. “Tell him to go...”

“You're lucky,” Shepard told the turian. “He's giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it.”

“I'll try, Garrus,” said Sidonis directly to him. “I'll make it up to you, somehow.”

Garrus snorted but leaned back from his sniper rifle completely.

Although no longer looking through the scope, he could still see Shepard and Sidonis below.

“I'll give you two choices.” Garrus heard Shepard telling Sidonis. “Either you turn yourself in, or you go help the families of the men you killed. I don't care what you do or how you do it, you need to make it up to them. If you don't, I'll go after you. Garrus might give you a quick, clean death, but I won't.”

“I will,” Sidonis promised. “Thank you for talking to Garrus. He's lucky to have a friend like you.”

“No. I'm lucky to have a friend like him.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I know you want to talk about this...” said Garrus preemptively as Shepard approached, “but I don't. Not yet.”

“All right. Let's just get out of here.” Shepard motioned him to follow.

Garrus did. He blindly followed her weaving through the crowded street, lost in his own thoughts. This was it. Betrayal, vengeance, and in the end there was nothing. No satisfaction of pulling the trigger on the man who had betrayed him, yet no crippling guilt of killing someone he had once trusted. To kill or not to kill, either way, Garrus couldn't win. No, not just him, everyone had lost. Ten men had lost their lives, one was so broken he was a walking dead man, as for himself...

The lights around him suddenly dimmed, it was then Garrus realized they had stepped into a bar. One without booming music and dancing idiots. Shepard had chosen well. She knew what he needed – a quiet place and lots of alcohol.

Garrus sat down by the counter next to Shepard, who had already waved the bartender for two drinks.

Shepard didn't speak until the end of third round, “I'm sorry. I know it didn't go the way you planned.”

“Why didn't you let me take the shot?” Whatever anger he had against Shepard had vanished, now he just wanted an answer.

“Because the second you pull the trigger, you'd have to live with the fact that you murdered someone you once trusted. Sure you'd feel a sick sense of satisfaction, but soon you'd realize killing him wouldn't bring anyone back from the dead. And when that realization started to sink in, you would feel that emptiness inside that would never leave.” Shepard paused to let her words sink in. “You'd regret if you had taken the shot, and I didn't want you to carry that guilt for the rest of your life, Garrus.”

Damned this woman, she knew him too well. Even better than he knew himself, apparently. “I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me – for my men. They deserve to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights... I just couldn't do it,” he admitted, not to her, but to himself.

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder then revealed, “I was planning to kill Sidonis if he didn't show any sign of remorse.”

Garrus looked at her in surprise.

Shepard shrugged. “Just so you didn't have to take the shot. He betrayed you, but he was your friend once, someone you trusted. You shouldn't have to put down someone like that. I didn't want you to live with that decision.”

Garrus let out a long breath. “It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray... I don't know what to do with gray.”

“Trust your heart,” Shepard told him quietly. “You've got to go with your instincts.”

Garrus snorted. “My instincts are what got me into this mess.”

“Don't be too hard on yourself.” She gave him another pat and ordered their next round. “Do you trust my instincts?”

“Of course.”

“My instincts told me to trust a certain C-Sec officer, and allow him to join me on my first – and only – mission as a Spectre.” She flashed a tiny smirk. “And my instincts were right. He turns out to be the best shot in the galaxy.”

Once again, Garrus snorted, but this time with a hint of chuckle.

Their drinks arrived. Garrus stared at it for a second and shook his head, clearing every thought about Sidonis out of his mind. Unlike Sidonis, he wasn't alone.

He raised his glass to Shepard. “Thanks, Aerin.”

Shepard gave him a questioning look.

_For giving me a chance to leave C-Sec and see the galaxy; for helping me catch Dr. Saleon; for saving my ass in Omega; for giving me a new purpose in life after my Archangel days; for guiding me through this nightmare with Sidonis; for being the best friend a person could ever ask for..._

“For everything.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: The dynamics between Shepard and Vakarian... It's a topic I've always wanted to explore further. Through their interactions so far, a glimpse here and there on how they support each other. Even though this is not a Shakarian, they love each other no less, only in a brotherly/sisterly way.

Side note: I was so tempted to have Garrus say, “Vengeance. Justice. Fire and blood.” One of my favorite moments in ASOIAF. I think I need TWOW.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	29. The Way You Look Tonight - Part 1

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 28: The Way You Look Tonight – Part 1

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2 XO Office

 

Miranda looked at the contents of the package on her desk and smiled to herself. Perfect, just as she had ordered, and the delivery was right on time. Through the surveillance vids on her screen, she saw Shepard stepping out of the elevator and approaching her office. _Just in time._ Miranda turned off her screen and pushed the box aside.

Then came a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” said Miranda.

The commander stepped in, freshly out of shower after her mission with Thane.

“No property damage, and no one dies today,” Miranda stated as she leaned back on her chair. “I've to say I'm impressed, Aerin.”

“The day is not over yet,” said Shepard. “Want me to kill someone for you?”

Miranda snorted at her joke. “How nice of you to offer, Commander. But, no, thank you.”

Shepard sat down across from her. “Kolyat is still in custody. Thane will remain in the Ward near his son until we take off.”

“Yes, I've read a copy of the C-Sec report.”

“That was fast. You've contacts in the C-Sec too? What am I say? Of course you do.”

Miranda merely smirked a little. “Reducing an attempted murder charge to community service, all without going through the legal system. Nice work. How did you pull that off?”

“Knowing the right person, offering the right incentives. You know, the usual.”

Shepard had her ways with people. With or without her guns.

“Here, I got you something.” Miranda pushed the package towards Shepard.

“New guns?”

Miranda shook her head. “You have enough guns. This... you don't.”

Shepard's eyebrows raised high as she lifted a little black dress out of the box. “Seriously?”

“It's classic. Never goes out of style. And, don't worry, I know your size.”

The commander then picked up the next item from the box. A pair of black high heels. Her eyebrows raised even higher.

“Can't be wearing combat boots with that dress now, can you?” said Miranda.

“I don't think the Collectors are holding any dinner party anytime soon,” said Shepard. “Not that I know of.”

“They're not. But we are,” Miranda told her. “We're having a... party of some sort at the Silver Coast casino tonight.”

Shepard frowned a little. “No one told me that.”

“I'm telling you now. Joker's idea, really. He thinks we should have one giant party before we head to the relay. I thought it's a good idea. No point saving the galaxy if we can't enjoy it once in a while.”

“Well, the Normandy is grounded for a few more days. Sure, why not?” Shepard shrugged then waved the heels. “But why these?”

A tiny smile started to spread on Miranda's face. “Because I remember the first time I met you.”

“In a body bag?”

“No. After Sovereign was destroyed, I was on the Citadel for business and had a few hours between appointments. I heard a rumor that a certain famous hero was partying with her crew at the casino, so I went there to check her out. To see what the fuss was about. The first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel and all.”

Shepard grinned. “And? Disappointed?”

“I was,” Miranda admitted openly and gave the commander a teasing look. “Here we were, at the casino, everyone was dressed to impress, and you were wearing...” She then shifted her gaze from Shepard's face down to the ever-present shapeless black hoodie.

Not at all offended, the commander chuckled. “I wasn't there to impress anyone, just having a good time.”

“Obviously. Figured we should try something different this time. No hoodie, no boots.” Miranda paused for a second, then reminded Shepard in a quiet tone, “This could be our last party, Aerin.”

There was a shift in the commander's expressive eyes. They both knew what it meant. Shepard took the package and nodded. “All right. Dressed to kill, then.”

“The party starts in two hours. See you in the casino.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Presidium, Council Office

 

Shepard had spent most of her adult life in some sort of uniform or armor. It's not often that she would wear a dress and a pair of heels. But tonight, she made an exception. Miranda was right; this could be their last party. So, why not? The dress and the shoes were surprisingly comfortable to wear, as if they were tailor-made for her. Too bad Kaidan would miss this, Shepard mused as she walked down the streets of the Presidium.

It was still early. Before she headed down to the casino, Shepard made one stop.

The office was as quiet and spotless as always. Shepard headed the desk of the assistant, who recognized her instantly, “The councilor is expecting you, Commander. Go right in.”

Shepard knocked, then the door opened. From within, she heard a female voice before she even stepped into the office.

“Today we have an exclusive interview with Commander Shepard,” said the reporter on the vid. “First human Spectre, hero of the Battle of the Citadel.”

With his hands folded behind his back, Councilor Anderson stood in front of the screen, watching the interview intently.

Shepard felt as though she was reliving a nightmare that had happened only a few hours ago. She hated interviews, hated paparazzi, hated people who twisted her words. And when she was suddenly ambushed by Khalisah al-Jilani just as she was returning to the Normandy, Shepard's instinct had screamed at her to fight or flight. Neither was a particularly wise option. So she had not choice but to endure, holding back her temper – and her fist – the whole time.

Al-Jilani's voice blasted through the sound systems in the councilor's office, “Sources claim you were at the heart of the Presidium during the Battle of the Citadel. It's fair to say the course of the battle hinged on your words. If true, you told Admiral Hackett to assist the Destiny Ascension, costing hundreds of human lives and securing the continued dominance of the Citadel Counci.”

Anderson snorted in dismay.

The Shepard on-screen remained unfazed. “The turians lost 20 cruisers. Figure each had a crew of around 300. The Ascension – the asari dreadnought we saved – had a crew of nearly 10,000.”

The reporter was relentless. “But surely the human cost--”

“The Alliance lost eight cruisers,” Shepard interrupted sharply. Then, with her head held high, she recited, “Shenyang, Emden, Jakarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw, Madrid. And yes, I remember them all.”

Anderson nodded, quietly approved of his protege's answer.

The Shepard in the vid continued, “Everyone in the 5th Fleet is a hero. The Alliance owes them all medals. The Council owes them a lot more than that.” She paused, then delivered the kill shot with an edge added to her voice. “And so do you.”

The stoic councilor let out a rare laugh.

“Enjoying the show?” asked Shepard as she finally approached her mentor.

Chuckling, Anderson switched off the screen. “That was beautiful, Shepard. You certainly put her in her place--” The councilor turned to her but paused when he saw her outfit. With a slight frown, he gave her an once over, like a father judging his daughter's party dress. The dress wasn't too short, the neckline wasn't too low. All passed the fatherly inspection. His frown dissipated. “You clean up nicely, kid. Going somewhere?”

“Thought I should try wearing a dress instead of an armor. Maybe the Collectors would fall for my charm and decide to leave us alone.”

Anderson gave her a look of mild exasperation. “I hope you have space for some weapons in that outfit, in case your plan didn't work out.”

Shepard smirked. “Seriously, my crew is having a party at the Silver Coast casino tonight. Care to join us?”

“I've a meeting later,” said Anderson, waving at the couch as he took a seat. “Before you take off, let's have dinner together.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Shepard. “I'll be around for a few more days. The Normandy is being upgraded as we speak.”

“Final preparation?” Those two words neatly summarized everything they had to do while in the Citadel. Anderson had always been efficient, it showed in both his words and actions.

Shepard nodded. “We are heading to recover an IFF device on a derelict Collector ship, it'll allow us to travel through the Omega-4 Relay... safely.” Relatively speaking, but Shepard didn't tell Anderson that. She didn't need to. With decades of experience under his belt, the councilor knew the risks.

He sat back and digested the situation and the implication. “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I could be,” said Shepard, taking in a long breath. _Am I? Am I really?_ “We go in, destroy their base, get out. Kill any Collectors standing in the way.”

Her mentor gave her a long look. He was worried, she could tell. But unlike the others, Anderson was worried about her well-being, not just the outcome of the suicide mission.

“There's no report of anymore attack since Horizon,” Anderson told her. “Your mission can be delayed for a week or two. Make sure you're ready before you head there.”

“My team is good to go.” _Eleven of us versus all the Collectors in their base._

“And you trust them with your life?”

“Garrus is with us, as well Tali. As for the rest of my team, they're all professional. They know the risks.” Shepard flashed a smile for her mentor's sake. “I'll be fine.”

Anderson paused briefly with a thoughtful frown before he spoke again, “Alenko has requested time off. Do you know anything about this?”

It was hard to maintain a poker face, somehow Shepard managed. She could easily lie to Anderson, just as he could easily see through her lies. But she couldn't betray Kaidan by releasing any more information either. In the end, Shepard only said, “I've heard.”

“Last time I told Alenko to take a shore leave,” said Anderson, “I almost had to order him to head back home. But that was cut short because of his training.”

Shepard knew. She remained quiet.

The councilor continued, “Three weeks ago, he suddenly told me he wanted to resume his remaining shore leave before the spec-ops training program starts.”

Anderson's eyes were on her. Shepard had to say something, “Maybe he wants a break?”

“If he's off to some tropical beach, I'll say go for it. Hell, take a whole month off. God knows he deserves a break.”

Shepard merely shrugged. “He doesn't strike me as a beach person.”

Anderson gave her a knowing look. “Let's cut to the chase. Is Kaidan going to join you?”

“As of this moment, he's not on my team.” That wasn't a lie.

“Will he be?”

It was a question she had been avoiding. Tomorrow, Kaidan would arrive, and she would need to give him an answer.

“Honestly, I haven't decided,” Shepard told the councilor. Then, for the hell of it, she asked, “Should I let him?”

She expected a big fat “No!” and a stern lecture from her mentor. Maybe that's why she had asked that stupid question, for someone to stop her from following her heart. But the “No!” didn't come, Anderson didn't yell at her. He remained quiet for a while, thinking.

And when he answered, his voice was quiet but firm, “I want you to have the best on your team, Aerin. Someone you can really count on, someone who will bring you back alive.”

“Kaidan is one of the best soldiers I've the honor to serve with.”

“Not to mention the best biotic we have,” Anderson added. “As far as I concern, what Kaidan does on his spare time is his business. But the brass... that I can't control. Alenko is an Alliance officer, his actions represent the Alliance wherever he goes. I'm sure you're aware of that.”

“And that's my dilemma,” Shepard admitted.

For a brief moment, none of them spoke. Then the councilor nodded to himself. Shepard knew he had come to a decision.

When Anderson turned and looked at her, his piercing gaze softened a notch. “Alenko's shore leave request has already been approved. What he does in the next few weeks, no one needs to know. But I need him to be back in one piece. I want no one else but Kaidan Alenko to head the biotic division. Understood?”

Shepard couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Anderson unofficially sanctioned Kaidan working for her? “Yes, sir.”

“Can I count on your discretion?”

He was trying to protect Alenko's ass from the brass, Shepard knew. “Of course,” Shepard promised. “As his... former commanding officer, I'll see to it that his future is well-protected.”

Anderson didn't look exactly pleased, but he was willing to compromise. Not for the galaxy, but for her own safety. For that, Shepard was eternally grateful.

“Good,” said the councilor, giving Shepard a pointed look. “Nothing we've said will get out of this room.”

Shepard returned his look with a blank stare. “I'm sorry, what was it that you're talking about?”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Silver Coast Casino

 

A little white ball bounced on the spinning wheel. All eyes were on it, including Miranda's. A number displayed on the board above the table changed rapidly, tracking the ball's latest location on the wheel.

Finally, the wheel slowed to a stop. The ball landed on one of the numbers, and a specific color. Black.

And Miranda had placed her bet on Red. For a fraction of a second, she was tempted to use her biotics to nudge the ball slightly to one of the slots on its either side, both were as red as her dress. But Miranda refrained. She was above cheating, and it was strictly against the casino's rules.

It wasn't about the credits she had just lost, it was about losing. Miranda hated to lose. But she hated giving up even more. So again, Miranda placed her bet. This time on a specific number, 00.

The game of roulette was all about chances, the results were random. No strategy required. And Miranda hated that.

“Any luck?” asked a soothing feminine voice from behind. Shepard's.

Ignoring the commander momentarily, Miranda's attention remained on the table. The ball slowed down as it passed 00, but it continued its path and landed on the other side of the wheel.

“Damn it...” Miranda stepped back from the table and admitted to Shepard, “I'm not really good at this.”

“No one is,” said Shepard. “It has to do with luck, not skills.”

Abandoning the game, Miranda turned her attention to the commander and gave her an appraising look from head to toes. The sleeveless black dress hugged all the curves in the right place, not suffocatingly tight, just perfectly tailored. The body that had been hidden behind a shapeless hoodie and baggy cargo pants was now properly highlighted. The neckline plunged lower than Shepard's usual plain black shirts, showing a hint of cleavage and leaving the rest to imagination. The dress was short, though not too short, with its hem reaching just above her knees. Those nicely toned long legs were on display, as they should.

Lastly, Miranda reached out and spun Shepard around, then nodded with approval at the commander's backside.

Miranda was more than pleased with her gift and the result. “I knew you'd look stunning in this. Perfect.”

“These shoes are more comfortable than they look,” Shepard admitted.

“Of course they are. Latest technology, shock-absorbing heels. The best money can buy.”

“Now I see why you can run in your boots. Thanks, Miranda.”

Miranda gave her creation another proud look. “It's Oriana's idea. She wanted me to do something nice for you. Remember the boy in her class? They're friends now, thanks to your advice.”

“And you hate it.” Shepard flashed a knowing smirk.

Miranda snorted lightly. “She's my sister. Of course I hate all the boys around her.”

“She's growing up, Miranda. Sooner or later, you have to let it go.”

“If that boy hurts her--”

“Miranda,” Shepard cut her off. “You need to relax.” She took two glasses of wine from a waiter passing by, and handed one to her. “Give it a try. Starting now.”

“Right.” She took a rather long drink from her glass. “Relax. That's harder than it sounds, considering all the things we have to do.”

“It's nice to cut loose from time to time, to catch our breath. It's been...” Shepard trailed off with a weary smile.

“Crazy,” Miranda finished it for her. “All that running, jumping... gunfire. It's crazy.”

“We do have some crazy lives, don't we?”

“That we do, my friend. That we do.”

Both women raised their glasses and toasted to their crazy lives.

Miranda started after another sip, “Truth is, Aerin, I'm not very good at being normal. Bit of a disaster, really.”

“I get it. We just need a little practice.”

“Any ideas?”

“I don't know. Maybe we can talk about regular stuff. No Collectors, Reapers, missions... just talk.” Shepard made a face at her own statement.

“Regular stuff?” Miranda was amused by the idea. “Okay.”

The commander placed her bet on the roulette table, then said, “Someone once told me the only difference between us and everyone else is that our to-do list is longer. We need to let that go tonight.”

“Someone?”

“Someone who's very good at making me feel normal.” That's all Shepard revealed as she watched the wheel spin.

Miranda could guess the identity of that someone. “I've been meaning to ask you this: Are you and Alenko back together?”

Shepard's lips curled up rather sweetly for a second before she quickly suppressed any traces of emotions. That momentary slip was the confirmation Miranda was looking for.

The ball came to a stop. Shepard won.

Still, there was something Miranda couldn't figure out. “There's no communication between the two of you. Not a single email--”

“Ah, we don't talk about work tonight, remember?” The commander collected her winning and placed another bet.

“That's not work,” Miranda countered. “We're talking about your private life. Regular stuff, right?”

Shepard didn't argue. She brought her glass to her lips to take a deliberate long drink. Then, instead of answering, she suddenly asked, “Would you oppose to the idea of Alenko joining us?”

One of Miranda's perfectly sculpted brows raised, a silent 'Are you serious?' was asked through her icy blue eyes.

Shepard responded by taking another drink, then focused on the little white ball. Another silent yes.

_Alenko is willing to work with Cerberus? That's impossible_ , Miranda frowned and pondered. According to his dossier and his records, that man was as a straight-laced Alliance loyalist through and through. Miranda studied the commander's profile and suddenly understood.

He did it for Shepard.

Love was another thing Miranda wasn't good at. Sure, she had a fling here and there, some even ended on good terms like Jacob. But love? She had no time for that.

But regardless of his reasons, Miranda couldn't deny the fact that they could use someone with Alenko's skills and talents on their team. Anything to improve of their chance of survival. Besides, if she could put up with Jack, she could certainly deal with Alenko.

The wheel stopped and the ball bounced into its resting slot. Shepard won, again. Some people were good at picking the winner. Perhaps Aerin Shepard was one of them.

“For the sake of the mission, I see no reasons to disapprove this addition,” Miranda said with her usual cool tone, then softened it and continued, “He can't be more difficult than Jack.”

“He's nothing if not professional.” Shepard collected her chips before she continued, “But I haven't decided if he should join us yet.”

Miranda arched an eyebrow. “You don't want him to?”

“Before I make any decision, I want to make sure one thing...” There was a slight hesitation. “I need a favor.”

Miranda nodded.

“If Alenko is going join us, I don't want to leave any traces of his participation on your records, official or not.”

“You want me to lie to my boss?” Miranda asked airily.

Bright blue eyes looked into hers. “I'm not asking you to lie, I'm asking you not to volunteer information.”

There was a fine difference, Miranda knew that too well.

Shepard continued, “The Illusive Man only concerns about the results. He wouldn't care if I brought in a team of hanar to the relay as long as the job is done. Doubt he'd ever ask you if someone named Kaidan Alenko is currently aboard.”

It was certainly an unusual request. But Miranda figured out why Shepard insisted on it before Alenko even stepped onto the Normandy. She was protecting him from both the Alliance and Cerberus.

“All right,” Miranda agreed after a brief consideration. Anything for the mission.

The commander nodded, subtle tensions drained from her fine features. “Make sure Kelly doesn't say anything she shouldn't.”

“That won't be a problem,” said Miranda. “If Alenko ever shows up, he'll be a ghost on the ship.” She gave Shepard a teasing glance. “We don't even need to assign a space in the crew's quarters for our ghost, do we?”

Miranda swore Shepard's cheeks darkened just a shade. “I'll handle the details.”

A tiny smirk played on her lips. “But it's my job, Commander.”

“Why are we still talking about work?” the commander changed the topic all too quickly.

“Let's face it, Aerin, we're not good at being normal.”

“Let's try again. Can't be that hard.” Shepard plucked two new glasses of wine off the traveling tray and handed one to Miranda. “Just need a little more wine.”

“Oh god, I'm going to regret this,” Miranda mumbled, yet still accepted the drink.

“What's worst that can happen?”

“With you? I can't even imagine.”

Grinning slightly, Shepard shared half of her winning chips with Miranda and said, “Come on, partner. Let's start some trouble. At least until we run out of credits.”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: The party is far from over. The chapter is too long, so this is part 1. Stay tune for the next one because... Sorry, I can't say just yet.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	30. The Way You Look Tonight - Part 2

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 29: The Way You Look Tonight – Part 2

Year: 2185CE

Location: Citadel Silversun Strip

 

Lights from the signs along the streets illuminated the Silversun strip all day. From red to green, purple to yellow, blue to orange, all shining brightly to get any passerby's attention. Bars, dance clubs, restaurants, casino, arcade center – everything a person need to unwind and forget about the rest of the world – were all conveniently located at this corner of the Citadel. Visitors from all around the galaxy flocked to the strip, as well as some Citadel locals – those who could afford the price tags, of course. Tourist traps were everywhere.

Garrus had never spent too much time on the strip during his years with C-Sec. Too expensive for his taste and his C-Sec salary, although he did like the Armax Arsenal Arena. Tonight, he found himself walking down the street of the famous strip, because of his friends, because of his best friend, and because... well, why the hell not? They were only days away from heading to a suicide mission. Now would be the best time to get drunk, especially when Cerberus was picking up the tabs.

The strip was as packed as ever. Garrus hurried down the street, heading to the casino where the party had already started. He was late.

Garrus scanned the crowd as he walked; it's a habit he had picked up as a C-Sec officer. Among all the people on the strip, one human woman in black dress caught his attention. Standing there by herself, leaning against the rail, that person stood out as a lonely figure among the bustling crowd. Garrus couldn't see her face at first. But when he was close enough to catch a glimpse of her profile, Garrus did a double take.

_Aerin?_

Without her armor or her usual outfit, Garrus almost couldn't recognize his own best friend.

Shame on him.

From her posture, the faraway look in her eyes, Garrus could tell there was something on Shepard's mind. Of course there was.

With the weight of the entire humanity was solely on one human's shoulders, it's a miracle she remained relatively sane. It wasn't fair, but neither was putting the fate of the galaxy on one soldier's shoulders. Shepard had pulled it through last time, with a bit of luck, a lot of ammo, and an insane amount of guts.

Could they really do it again? Garrus studied the commander from afar.

Yes, they could, Garrus determined. Or at least they'd die trying. Some people were born to make a difference. And Garrus firmly believed Shepard was one of them.

Still, even the most invincible hero needed support. Garrus Vakarian was proud to be the turian behind this human legend, even though he knew Shepard had always seen him as equal.

Garrus approached then said, “Looking good, Miss Shepard.”

Shepard turned and raised an eyebrow at his nicely tailored suit. She scanned him up and down a few times. “And you, Mr. Vakarian. Is that why you're late? Can't decide what to wear?”

Garrus leaned against the balcony with a shrug. “I had a hard time choosing which suit to wear. The dark one or the darker one. That's the downside of a militaristic culture. Humans have us beat in variety of formal wear.”

The truth was, he had spent the day down at C-Sec office. Sidonis had turned himself in, confessing to the murders of ten good men. Watching the confession, seeing how broken the man had become, Garrus was glad he didn't pull the trigger.

“How did it go in C-Sec?” Shepard asked.

“Their hands are tied. The crime was committed on Omega, outside the Council's jurisdiction. So the C-Sec can't do anything.” His jaws set in dismay. “Nothing new. Reminds me of why I left.”

“That's almost three years ago,” said Shepard quietly. “Remember the first day we met? That night we had a party.”

“Yes. The night of your Spectre inauguration,” Garrus recalled. “The human embassy held a celebration here. You stepped out of your own party for some quiet 'me time'.”

Shepard nodded. “Mm, and you were late to my party. We talked here, at this same spot.”

“Guess somethings never change.”

“Well, we're all dressed up this time.”

Garrus smiled at the good old days. “Yeah, back then you were in your Alliance uniform, and I was in my C-Sec armor.”

Shepard had a faraway look in her eyes as she glanced at the crowd on the other side of the strip. “Whatever we're wearing, you've always been here for me...”

“Someone has to watch your back.”

“And I wouldn't want anyone else to.”

Garrus was touched. “The only time I didn't join you, the Collectors managed to kill you.” He regretted immediately as the words flew out of his mouth.

But Shepard only chuckled. “What can I say? You're my lucky charm.”

“The galaxy was a lonely place without you, Aerin,” said Garrus sincerely. “Try not to die again.”

“I will.” She turned and looked him right in his eyes. “Same goes for you, Garrus. The galaxy needs their Archangel. So do I.”

Keeping his wit and his tongue sharp was as important as keeping his shooting skills sharp. But every now and then, Garrus was lost for words. Like right now. Thankfully, words were not needed between them. He nodded, and she understood.

“Think we could make it this time?” Shepard asked, turning her gaze back to the crowd afar. All oblivious to the danger out there.

“Well, let's hope this lucky charm could pull us through this mess we are in.” He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Come on, let's head back to the party. I'm sure they miss the Shepard shuffle on the dance floor.”

As expected, that earned him a playful glare. “Shut up, Vakarian. I can dance.”

“Sure you can.” His sarcasm could drown a Reaper.

“I'll tell you a secret: I know how to tango.”

Garrus laughed.

She ignored that and continued, ”Learned it years ago when I was a kid.”

“You serious?”

Shepard nodded. “There wasn't much for kids to do on space stations, we had to find whatever entertainment available, even if it's some dance lessons offered by off-duty personnel.”

“Damn! Well, I think I just updated my bucket list: See Shepard tango before I die.”

“Or before Shepard dies.”

This might be one of the most crazy and impulsive idea Garrus'd ever had, but why the hell not? This could very well be their last party, his last chance to see Shepard tango before either of them died. “Hmm, you know what they say: Life is short. Why wait? I volunteer to be your partner.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You're kidding. You?”

Garrus responded to her skepticism with a smirk. “You're not the only one who knows has a secret talent. Been taking lessons on the side. It's a useful skill to have if we ever need to infiltrate a party.”

“A classy one.”

“Of course. You know me.”

Shepard scanned him again, this time blue eyes in evaluating mode. “You in this suit plus tango? Women would throw their panties at you.”

“What?” Garrus' mandibles twitched in horror. “That can't be sanitary! Why would they do that?”

That made Shepard laugh. “Not literally, at least I hope not. It's a human phrase, meaning they'd throw themselves at you.”

“You humans have an interesting way of... putting things,” Garrus mumbled, grimacing, still couldn't get rid of that mental picture. Just when he thought he understood humans, their strange ways of thinking always took him by surprise.

“Well, let's not waste this suit.” Shepard dusted off imaginary dirt off the front of his outfit, and smoothed all the non-existing wrinkles. Her eyes twinkled with renewed purpose as she announced, “My mission tonight is to find you a date. If it means I've to brush off my rusty tango skills, so be it.”

“A date?” Garrus looked at her as if she had just ordered him on a suicide mission. Solo. It certainly felt that way. “I don't need a date. You know what I need, though? That Mark-4 silencer scope we saw at the gun shop yesterday. Or... an Atlas mech. Always wanted one. ”

“No. You need a date,” Shepard insisted firmly with a voice that said: Non-negotiable. “Come on. Let's show the ladies what you've got!”

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Silver Coast Casino

 

Shepard saw her crew scattered around the casino as she made her way through the first floor. The first one caught Shepard's eyes was none other than her XO. Dancing with Jacob on the dance floor, the always-perfect Miranda was impossible to ignore in her long red dress. It would seem the workaholic woman had finally learned how to relax after a few glasses of wine. Shepard was glad.

Sitting at one of comfortable booths near the dance floor, Samara and Chakwas were talking over a few glasses of wine. The good doctor hardly seemed sober, Shepard smiled at that sight. When Chakwas was drunk, that's when good stories came out.

Over at the roulette table, Joker, Tali, Kenneth, and Gabby were trying their luck. Judging from their reactions, luck was on the ladies' side, but not the men's. Nearby, Zaeed, Jack, and Grunt hurdled around and watched the live vids of varren racing on Tuchanka, all cheered loudly for the creatures they had bet upon. Curses flew freely regardless of the results. Shepard had to wonder if or when Grunt would pick up a few colorful languages by hanging around those two as often as he did.

Meanwhile, Mordin and Maelon gathered around a quasar machine. The professor was playing at a rapid speed, although he looked as if he was performing a study instead of enjoying a game. Shepard wouldn't be surprised if the salarian duo had already come up with a mathematics formula that would predict the winning patterns. To satisfy scientific curiosity, of course. Mordin would have no interest in publishing the results of his findings for credits.

Shepard headed to the second floor of the casino, away from her crew. She had only told two men about her tango lessons. Two most important men in her life. The rest of her crew didn't need to find out.

A song request had already been sent in. She had about ten minutes to get ready. First things first, she needed a drink. Whiskey. Double shot.

Shepard settled by the bar counter with Garrus and waited for the music to change. Just like waiting for upcoming battles, anticipation was often the worst part of the fight. Brushing up a skill she hadn't used for sixteen years was a daunting task. Things she would do for her best friend...

Shepard still remembered her first tango lesson from a life-time ago. She was not yet sixteen then, same age as her partner. A tall, dark-haired boy. Smart but quiet, yet when they were together, they never ran out of things to talk about. _Not unlike Kaidan_ , she mused. Perhaps she did have a type.

Shepard recalled a face and a name. She briefly wondered where in the galaxy her childhood friend was right now.

The club music Wrex used to hate so much faded to a stop; a slower tune took over. To Shepard's dismay, her request came earlier than she expected.

“Ready?” her turian twin asked her.

“Let's do this,” she replied in a tone that sounded more like they were heading out for a mission. In some way, she was. Her mission was to get Garrus a date.

Clinking their glasses together, they downed their shots simultaneously, then set their empty drinks on the bar counter in unison.

Garrus took her hand and led her out.

Shepard put her free hand on his shoulder, and shifted her weight to the balls of her feet. “I haven't done it in many years.”

“You'll be fine,” he assured her. “Just follow my lead.”

His steps started off slow, giving Shepard a much needed chance to warm up. _Right. Left. Right, left. Right,_ Shepard recited the basic steps. _Slow. Slow. Quick, quick. Slow._ Her lessons started to rush back to her.

_No mistakes in the tango, not like life,_ Shepard recalled her instructor's words of wisdom with a smile. _If you make a mistake, you get all tangled up, you just tango on,_

She began to relax.She turned off her mind and let her body take over, long-forgotten muscles memories resurfaced.

“Not bad...” said Garrus. His pace quickened.

Shepard beamed proudly as she started to enjoy the dance. From boleo, to ocho, to gancho, all the moves she had learned so many years ago came right back to her like some long-lost friends.

A crowd had gathered around them and continued to grow in size, some even recording this historic event. Shepard didn't care, for once she was genuinely having fun.

“Ready?” Garrus asked.

“Wha--” Before she could ask, he swung her out of his arm.

Startled, Shepard almost stumbled but managed to recover thanks to her well-honed reflex. The crowd cheered as Garrus gave her hand a tug and pulled her back in his arms.

“Warn me earlier next time,” said Shepard.

“Come on, you have to pay attention to the music.”

He continued to lead her with gentle pulls and pushes. Her heels hardly ever touched the floor as Shepard glided across the dance floor most fluidly, thanks her partner's flawless guidance. A kick here, a twist there. Her hips swayed with the beats of the music, her steps matched his perfectly.

“Now you're getting it,” said Garrus, raising her arm above her head, then gently nudged her torso.

Laughing, Shepard swiveled on the ball of one foot. She stopped after two full spins and put her hand back on his shoulder.

Garrus stabilized her before he started moving again. Three long steps forward, then pivoted his partner around. “See? It's fun.”

“Hell yeah,” Shepard agreed wholeheartedly.

“Let's try this.”

And suddenly, Garrus leaned forth, forcing her to bend backward. Shepard gasped at the sudden loss of balance. Her hand tightened around his instinctively.

He chuckled at her reaction while he pulled her upright again. “Don't worry, I won't drop you.”

“You'd better not, Vakarian,” she warned.

Two more steps to the side. He spun her around again, three full swivels this time, then stopped her momentum by placing a firm hand on her back. Shepard laughed lightly as she came to a halt, momentarily dizzy from the spin. Garrus resumed the dance in a slower pace for her to catch her breath.

“So, how many hits do you think our vid would get?” asked Garrus, nodding at the crowd where some omni-tools were lit up in recording mode.

“Don't know. It's probably broadcasting live on the extranet right now,” said Shepard, gliding across the dance floor with her partner.

“If they're making money from our performance, we should get a cut.”

“Going toward your Altas mech fund?”

“You know me.” Garrus then once again swung her out, letting go of her hand this time.

With the momentum on her side, Shepard twirled and stopped in front of her bewildered pilot. Wide eyes and slack jaws, Joker's face was priceless. Standing next to him with her arm crossed, Miranda smiled and nodded with approval. Shepard tossed a smirk to them, then gracefully danced back into Garrus' waiting arms.

“Our friends are here,” she told Garrus, resuming the dance.

“Took you long enough to notice them.”

“Come on, give me a break. I'm trying not to trip on my own foot here.”

“I'd say you managed so far.”

The music was coming to an end, Shepard noted with disappointment.

“You humans have a saying: Icing on the cake,” said Garrus with more than a hint of mischief in his tone. “Get ready for the big finish.”

It was all the warning he gave her when he dipped her down once more, bending down further than last time.

Her entire view was upside down, Shepard laughed breathlessly. Applause and cheers rang around them.

Garrus grinned down at her. “So how did I do?”

She tilted her head up to look at him. “Absolutely freaking perfect!”

“You're not bad yourself.” He straightened up, pulling her upright along with him. 

As they'd done so many times after winning on the battlefields, the two best friends each held up a hand and slapped against each other's palms. 

“We should do this more often,” said Shepard as they headed back to the bar, yielding the dance floor back to the other patrons. “It's more fun than killing Reapers.”

“And sell our vids,” Garrus added. “We could retire early, living off the royalties for the rest of our lives.”

The crowd started to dissipate, some returned to the dance floor, some headed downstairs. But more than a few people lingered behind to check out the duo curiously from afar. Women, mostly, as Shepard had expected. Among them, a female turian took a few tentative steps closer.

“Here comes your first prey, Vakarian,” said Shepard with a tiny sly smirk. “Stay sharp.”

“Are you serious?”

“Do I look like I'm joking?”

The woman shied away from direct approach, while Garrus hesitated to leave the bar counter. Great, neither made the first move. And so Shepard took the initiative.

“Excuse me.” Shepard approached their target with a disarming smile. “I saw you checking out my friend here. I thought you two should meet.” She then grabbed Garrus' arm and shoved him in front.

“Hello,” said the turian woman.

If there was ever a fish out of water, Garrus Vakarian was it.

“Right, so um... Hello,” Garrus stumbled for words. All the suaveness he had on the dance floor was gone in an instant in front of the stranger. “And... hmm.”

Stepping back, Shepard settled on the barstool behind Garrus, and coached him in a whisper, “Tell her she looks nice.”

“You seem like a nice person,” Garrus stated. “Maybe a little quiet. Introspective. But decent... overall.”

“Oh. Thank you...” said the woman. “I think.”

Shepard shook her head. “A good ol' fashioned 'You look nice in that dress' will do, Vakarian,” she whispered, then offered quietly, “Try small talk.”

“Come here often?” asked Garrus, dialing up his charm.

_Good, that's it,_ Shepard thought, signaling the bartender for a drink. 

But Shepard was happy too soon. Garrus continued without prompting, “I imagine anyone who does is probably an alcoholic.”

_Goddammit!_ Shepard cringed in horror, resisting a sudden urge to smack her best friend on the back of his head.

“Actually, I do,” said the woman rather patiently. “I work at the turian embassy. Come here to unwind.”

Shepard couldn't believe Garrus was still in the game. Their tango must have really impressed that nice lady.

“Remember, you're Archangel,” she encouraged Garrus in a whisper. “All-around turian bad boy!”

“So...there were, uh...” Garrus cleared his throat. “There were these mercs raising hell on Omega. I had to take them down. Now I've got these scars.”

“I see,” said the woman, who sounded bored by his adventure. “Maybe there's an ointment for that?”

Shepard suppressed a laugh. Were all the turians that sarcastic? By some miracle, the lady was still around, maybe Garrus had one last shot. It was all or nothing.

“Invite her out,” Shepard hinted under her breath as she brought her shotglass to her lips.

“What do you say we blow this joint?” suggested Garrus a bit too enthusiastically. “I've got this big gun back at my place I'd like to show you.”

Shepard almost spat her drink. “No, no, no!” she hissed, shaking her head in frustration.

“Yeah,” the woman mumbled. “Well, listen. I've got this... thing I forgot I had to do, and I should probably just go do it.”

_Shit_. Shepard had to think of something. Fast!

Just as her eyes unconsciously glued to Garrus' back, thinking hard to savage this mess, someone took over the empty barstool next to her.

“Relax, Garrus,” said a low, smooth voice that sent a tingle down her spine. “Have a drink first.”

Two bottles of beer slid along the bar counter, sailing past Shepard, and came to a stop precisely between to two turians.

Shepard turned and saw a very familiar smile greeting her. Her eyes widened in surprise. A very pleasant surprise. “Kaidan?”

“Hey.” Kaidan took her hand in his. Warm fingers curled around hers as if to prove to her that he was here, he was real.

Shepard couldn't help but smile. “How did you--”

“Shh...” Kaidan merely nodded to Garrus.

Her turian twin took Kaidan's advice and picked up both bottles from the counter.

“Sorry,” said Garrus, handing one to his new friend. “Let's start over again. What I've been trying to say is: My name is Garrus, and I'd love to have a drink with you.”

The woman accepted the beer with a nod and a smile.

Mission accomplished.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Shepard turned her attention back to Kaidan. “I thought you're arriving tomorrow.”

“And missed this?” He eyed her dress with a raised eyebrow. “And the tango? Glad I took off early.”

“You saw that, huh?”

“Yeah.” He let out a low whistle. “That was... something. Now I really have to find time to take some dance lessons.”

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “If you play nice, I might teach you.”

“Nah, it won't work.” Kaidan shook his head with a tiny grin. “I'll get distracted, and we'll end up doing something else.”

Chuckling, Shepard stole a glance at Garrus, who had started a surprisingly pleasant conversation with his new friend.

“Thanks for saving the day,” she said to Kaidan, motioning at her turian twin. With a hint of a sly smile, she leaned closer and asked, “How should I repay you?”

Sometimes, when he looked at her, there's a particular intensity in his eyes – a look which told her she was the only person in his world. Just like right now. His attention was all on her.

“Well...” He pause with the tiniest smirk. “I could think of many things...”

Everything around her started to fade away – the music, the lights, and the crowd, all gone. Until there was only the man in front of her.

Shepard found herself being drawn to him, closer and closer. Her free hand rested on his thigh. “Such as?”

His gaze shifted from her eyes down to her lips. Shepard bit it slightly but deliberately, daring him to kiss her right here, right now.

But he didn't. Kaidan merely leaned in and whispered one word in her ear, “Dinner.”

Shepard laughed.

His lips brushed her cheek for a soft, subtle peck before he sat back with a teasing smile. “I'm starving.”

Round one: Alenko 1, Shepard 0. Smiling softly to herself, Shepard conceded this round. The night was young, and their on-going teasing game had just begun.

“Just got off the shuttle,” he told her. “Dropped my bags off at the hotel and came here.”

“How did you know we're here?” Shepard asked and realized she already knew the answer. “Joker.”

He gave her a shrug and a smile, neither confirmed nor denied her speculation.

Shepard checked on Garrus one more time. She briefly overheard them talking about Palaven. The woman even laughed at something Garrus had said.

“I think we can leave them alone,” she told Kaidan with a proud smile. “Let's get out of here.”

When she stood from the barstool, he took a step back and gave her an once-over.

A grin slowly spread on his face as his gaze ran along her body. From her shoulders down to her legs and back up, then finally settled on her backside. “Nice...outfit.”

Shepard shot him a glance then asked, “So, tell me, do I look nicer with it, or without?”

“Is that a trick question?” Kaidan laughed. “I don't know... I think I should study both cases further before I come to any conclusion.”

“You have all night, Mister.”

“I was hoping for more than one night,” he said lightly, offering his arm to her.

She took it. “I'm not going to wear a dress everyday. Not even for you. I can't fight like this.”

“Such a shame,” Kaidan teased as they headed for the exit. “You know, this is the first time I've seen you in a dress.”

“And I have yet to see you in a suit. Talk about unfair.”

He chuckled. “I've got to have some secrets.”

“One day, Alenko. One day I will see you all dressed up.”

“Sure.” He tilted his head down to hers and said, “On our wedding day, at least.”

The smile that curled up on Shepard's lips couldn't be any sweeter. “Like I said, one day...”

 

* * *

 

A/N: The famous tango, here in BFF-version. First written almost a year and a half ago, before this story was posted. I've been debating on whether to include the tango or not, since it's an exclusive Shakarian thing. But since I regretted not writing some scenes in the past (Miranda/Shep let's-call-it-a-truce sushi dinner scene, dammit!), don't want to repeat that regret again. So here it is. I try to make it as non-romantic as possible, though.

The line “No mistakes in tango, not like life” is from the tango scene in “Scent of a Woman”. That's the same line Aerin told Kaidan during their first date in part 1 (chapter 18 if anyone's interested). “Por Una Cabeza” was played during that scene in the movie, and I used the same song as a basis for Shepard's tango. 

Thanks for reading! And thank you for following this story, whether it's here or on tumblr!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  


  
  



	31. Welcome Aboard

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 30: Welcome Aboard

Year: 2185CE

Location: Citadel, Cafe

 

Two years ago, one night during their shore leave on the Citadel, Shepard had sat in the same chair across from him, like she did right now, with the same small table separated them. Kaidan had already started falling for her back then, even before that particular night. Although he'd had no idea how far he would eventually fall. He loved her, even after she had been dead for two years, even after she had come back working with Cerberus. This was how far he had fallen.

“Have you decided?” Kaidan asked softly.

Sitting across from him, wearing a black dress, Shepard kept her gaze on the cup of hot chocolate in front of her. She remained quiet and thoughtful.

They both knew this moment was coming. At the folk of the road, they had to make a decision.

For the past three weeks, he had told himself time and again that he wanted to help Shepard to end the threat to humanity, to protect the colonies, and ultimately, to protect Earth. Although technically it wasn't a lie, it was not the whole truth either. He volunteered because of Shepard, because he wanted to be with her, because he wanted to protect her. Even if it meant to work with Cerberus.

This was how far he was willing to go for her, for the woman he loved.

It was crazy, even irrational. But love was never truly rational, not even for someone as level-headed as himself. He had already failed to protect her once two years ago, Kaidan would never forgive himself if he failed again.

And so here he waited, as patiently as ever. Waiting for her reply, waiting for the green light.

Shepard stared at her cup of hot chocolate for a while longer before she asked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.” _For you._

“I talked to Anderson earlier.” She glanced at him. “He knew why you requested your leave. He figured it all out.”

_Of course he did._ Kaidan wasn't too surprised. The councilor was always shrewd. “Did he give you a hard time?”

“No,” she breathed, shaking her head gently. “He said, whatever you do in the next few weeks, no one needs to know.”

Kaidan blinked. “You mean...” _He signed off on our plan?_

Shepard nodded. “I have to bring you back in one piece, or he'll kill me. He really wants you to head that department.”

He let out a subtle sigh of relief. The biggest obstacle was Anderson. Kaidan didn't want to lie to the councilor, not after what the older man had done for him. Despite the potential repercussions, Kaidan knew he was doing the right thing. And now with Anderson's unofficial blessing, there was no doubt in his mind that this was the path he should take. It was just like back then when they had to steal the Normandy right under the Council's noses.

The right path wasn't always the easiest one.

Still, a faint knot lingered between Shepard's brows despite her mentor's support. “I've made some arrangements,” Shepard told him, her voice crisp and curt.

She had switched to her commander mode, Kaidan noticed.

“There won't be any records of your participation in this mission,” said the commander, who then quickly clarified, “Should you join us, that is.”

Kaidan nodded.

“We should also book a ticket to some popular vacation planet for you. If the brass ever wanted to trace your steps--”

“Aerin, relax,” Kaidan stopped her. “The brass won't have time to track every officer on leave.”

“You're not just any officer, Kaidan. At the very least, they knew we worked together to take down Saren.”

“I have a proper leave of absence and a damn good reason to take a break before I head a brand new department. There's no red flag, no reason for the brass to dig further.”

Shepard thought for a moment, then, somewhat reluctantly, she nodded. She was protecting him, he knew, and Kaidan was touched by her effort.

“Thanks for covering for me,” said Kaidan, “but I'll be fine.”

Shepard looked him right in the eye and asked one more time, “Are you absolutely sure you want to come with me?”

Again, he answered patiently, “Positive.”

“I won't lie to you – the odds are not good.”

“Then the more reasons I should join you,” Kaidan countered calmly. “Give us a better chance to defeat the Collectors. Because if we don't...” he trailed off. There was no need to remind her of the consequence.

Bright blue eyes stared right into his, searching.

Kaidan held her gaze steadily. “We made it to Ilos and back. We beat the odds once, we can do it again.”

For a long moment, neither of them look away from each other. Her expression slowly softened. Then, he noticed a sudden shift in her eyes, a look of pure determination.

Shepard had made a decision, he knew. Kaidan held his breath.

She extended her hand across the table. “Welcome aboard, Major.”

A smile of relief spread on Kaidan's face as he took it for a firm shake. “Thank you, Commander.”

The knot between her brows disappeared once the decision had been made. “I'll give you a full report on our status--”

“No, not right now,” Kaidan stopped her in a smoothing tone.

Shepard gave him a questioning look.

“Right now, you need to relax,” he told her softly. “We still have plenty of time. The Normandy is grounded for the next three days.”

Shepard blinked at the reminder. “Right...”

She drew a long breath, shaking her head to herself, then took a sip of her hot chocolate. The stress was starting to get to her, Kaidan could tell. Fortunately, a nice massage and some chocolate should fix it. A temporary cure, though, but it'd have to do for now.

He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “And I'm here to make sure you get your rest before we report back to the Normandy, Commander.”

Pink lips curled up in a faint sweet smile.

“Yes, sir,” Shepard mumbled, chuckling under her breath. She then studied him lovingly for a moment, and asked, “Where would I be without you?”

His grin widened. “You'll never find out.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel, Hotel

 

Two years ago, they had stayed in this same room in this hotel. How Kaidan had managed to book the room, he'd never told her. The answer he had given was a tiny smirk and a long kiss – one that had melt every question away.

Shepard blinked her sleepy eyes again to clear her blurry vision.

Light had seeped through the shades, it was already morning. She had slept through the night, no nightmares but a few pleasant dreams which she had already forgotten. If Kaidan had taken upon himself to make sure she was well-rested, the man had succeeded.

Kaidan had that effect on her, Shepard noticed, that special touch that would calm her, make her feel safe. She'd missed him, more than she would ever admit. And she loved him, more than he'd ever know.

Shepard carefully rolled to her side and found Kaidan sleeping peacefully. Half of his face was buried onto the pillow, his hair was a slight mess, his lashes fluttered ever-so slightly as he continued to dream. Shepard smiled to herself as she watched him for a moment longer. It was almost as if they were back to their shore leave two years ago, back to the days before her death, before Cerberus, the Collectors, and everything in between.

Almost.

Shepard drew in a long breath and reminded herself of the reality. Kaidan was risking everything he had worked hard for to help her. Even if they succeeded in taking care of the Collectors, he would still face the risk of facing repercussions from the brass.

No, she would not let that happen.

If there's one thing she had learned from the decade of experience, it's this: You can never be too careful. Better be safe than sorry.

Even though she had promised Kaidan not to work during shore leave, there were things that needed to be done.

Shepard planted the softest kiss on his cheek before she quietly slipped out of bed. Her dress remained where Kaidan had stripped it off her last night – on the floor near the door. She reached for his shirt at the foot of the bed instead. The over-sized shirt was definitely more comfortable than the form-fitting dress, although she had a feeling Kaidan would rather see her in her dress than his shirt. Well, too bad for him. Shepard smirked lightly to herself as she retrieved her omni-tool.

She had a call to make.

  
  


–

  
  


Something smelled nice.

Kaidan inhaled greedily in his sleep. Coffee. He recognized the smell and slowly opened his eyes. For a second, he didn't recognize the surrounding. It was unfamiliar, yet he had seen it many times in his memories, in his dreams – memories of the happiest time of his life, dreams of the woman he had lost.

Kaidan blinked, then he remembered. He turned to the other side of the bed, only to find it empty. Just a hint of warmth lingered behind under the cover. Did she leave? Kaidan pushed himself up and saw his answer. Standing by the window, glancing absently at the view of the Citadel, Shepard folded one arm under her breasts and held a coffee cup in the other hand. She was thinking, Kaidan knew, although about what, he couldn't say.

_The mission,_ he found his answer. She could never truly rest until this was over.

He noticed she had chosen his shirt over her dress this morning. One outfit put everything on display, while the other hid them well, except for her legs. He found her stunning in both. And in her uniform, her armor, and everything else. Whether everything was covered from head to toes, or not at all, she was beautiful, and would always be.

Shepard turned, finally noticing he was awake. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” he mumbled, his voice still a bit coarse from sleep.

“The coffee did, then,” she deduced as she walked to the bed. “Sorry.”

Kaidan shook his head with a gentle smile. “What's on your mind?”

“I know I promised not to think about work...” She sat on the bed beside him with her legs folded.

“But it's always at the back of your mind until this is over,” Kaidan continued for her as he stole the coffee cup from her.

“Yeah,” she breathed.

“Workaholic,” he commented softly, stifling a smile. “That's one of the many things I love about you.” He planted a kiss at the corner of her lips, then took a sip of the coffee.

Her coffee was always a little too sweet for his taste, but Kaidan didn't mind a bit. As long as she was here, everything was perfect. Besides, the coffee was nowhere as sweet as the tiny smile on her face. If he could just wake up to this every morning...

There was a brief pause before she started, “Kaidan...”

“Hm?”

“I want you to meet someone.”

“Who?”

Another slight pause. “Miranda. My XO.”

Ah, that Cerberus woman. Miranda Lawson, Kaidan recalled a name, as well as his last meeting with her here in the Citadel. He had sought her out, behind Shepard's back.There was something about Shepard's XO that unnerved him. It was almost as if she was trying to... compete with him, or even to replace him.

Shepard continued, “She's the one who rebuilt me.”

Kaidan knew about that. “Chakwas told me. Project Lazarus?”

She nodded. “Miranda was the leader of the project. Without her, I wouldn't be here.”

Kaidan reached out to brush a few strands of hair off her face. His fingertips lingered on her cheek. Her skin was as soft and warm as it had been two years ago, her eyes as blue and bright. She was here because of Project Lazarus, because of the woman named Miranda Lawson.

“I don't trust Cerberus, Kaidan,” said Shepard. “But I trust Miranda. I've asked her to cover your tracks while you're with me on this mission. We should meet with her outside the Normandy, somewhere we won't be overheard.”

In order to help Shepard, he would have to work with Miranda Lawson, along with the Cerberus crew. Joker had assured him the crew were just normal people, and he had seen some of them himself during his brief stay at the Normandy after Horizon. Normal people with families back home, only difference was they were wearing different uniforms, working for different goals. As for Lawson, sooner or later he would have to face her.

“Well,” said Kaidan quietly, “if you really trust her...”

“I do,” Shepard replied without hesitation, her voice determined. “I can't do this on my own, Kaidan. I need you, Garrus, and Miranda. Garrus still doesn't completely trust her, but she helped him find the person he'd been chasing after for while.”

“I don't have any missing friends that need to be found,” Kaidan quipped under his breath.

“You did,” Shepard claimed. She looked into his eyes, her gaze soft and loving. “You found me.”

Kaidan couldn't help but smile. Perhaps Shepard was right, Miranda had helped him before he even knew about it. With a lot of strings attached, though. Strings Kaidan intended to cut one by one to free Shepard once and for all.

“When's the meeting?” he asked after taking another sip of the coffee.

“1500 hour. We have...” Shepard checked the clock. “A little less than six hours.” She leaned closer, a sly grin started to spread. “What should we do meanwhile?”

As much as he wanted to kiss her then and there, Kaidan didn't move a muscle. When she stopped advancing, the tip of her nose touched his.

Hiding a grin, he whispered to her, “Relax and eat.”

Shepard leaned back and gave him a playful glare. “Is that all you think about when you're with me? Food?” She scowled slightly, reclaiming her coffee cup from him.

Kaidan shrugged, trying hard not to laugh. “That's what everyone does on shore leave, isn't it? Relax and eat.” He could no longer suppress a teasing smile. “Besides, I'm a biotic. We require extra calories intake, even without the... er, extra activities.”

She wrinkled her nose at him, very non-Commander-Shepard like, yet very lovely. “Let's go get breakfast, then.”

He took her cup and put it on the nightstand. “I did say, relax first, then eat.”

He claimed her lips, taking her by surprise. She melted against him; her mouth opened to his. He could taste her coffee and something even sweeter. Her.

Breakfast could wait.

 

* * *

 

Location: Citadel Presidium

 

They were early to their meeting location – an upscale but quiet cafe in the Presidium, but the Cerberus woman had already arrived. Kaidan couldn't help but notice the strategical advantage of the her current position. Sitting at a corner table with her back to the wall, Miranda Lawson had a clear view of the entire restaurant.

Lawson nodded at Shepard when she spotted them. Her gaze then shifted to Kaidan as they approached to her table.

Kaidan returned her cool look evenly. Dark-haired, blue eyes, fair skin, and undeniably beautiful. Those words that could be used to describe Shepard also applied to her XO. But while Aerin Shepard was warm and passionate, Miranda Lawson was cold as ice. The Ice Queen, Kaidan recalled the nickname Joker had used to call her. Fitting.

Lawson's eyes shifted down and glanced at his hand that was holding Shepard's, her expression unreadable. Kaidan tightened his grip unconsciously, half afraid the woman would snatch his Aerin away from him. Their previous meeting came to mind. Her reminder about his failure to protect Shepard that had led to her death, her taunt that she would succeed where he had failed, and her claim that the commander no longer needed him.

Well, she was wrong about the last one. Here he was, back to Shepard.

“I've run a scan of the area,” Lawson told Shepard. “It's safe to talk.”

“Careful as always,” said Shepard, deliberately sitting down between the two biotics. “I thought you two should meet before we're back on the Normandy.”

Lawson arched an eyebrow slightly. “We met.”

“Kaidan Alenko,” said Kaidan, extending a hand before she could tell Shepard the story of their previous encounter.

She looked at it for a second before she took it for a polite shake. “Miranda Lawson, Commander Shepard's second in command.”

She was certainly quick to mark her territory. Kaidan couldn't withdraw his hand from hers fast enough.

“Glad that's over with,” Shepard mumbled with more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She then sat back and faced Miranda with a serious tone. “Remember our arrangement.”

“There won't any traces of evidence of his participation,” Lawson assured her. “No written reports, official or unofficial. Surveillance cameras and recording devices in the common areas of the ship are set to be overwritten every 48 hours, and everything will be deleted upon the end of our mission.”

Shepard nodded. “And Chambers?”

“I will monitor her correspondence with the Illusive Man, and take proper actions if necessary.”

Kaidan arched an eyebrow slightly upon hearing the details. Shepard was nothing if not careful.

“Thanks,” said the commander. “And the other thing I talked about this morning?”

_This morning?_ Kaidan wondered.

“Already done,” Lawson replied crisply. “A ticket to Illium has already been purchased.”

Shepard nodded again, satisfied. “Good.”

Lawson turned to Kaidan and continued, “You'll be visiting your old friend Dr. T'Soni while taking a side trip to the latest omni-tool manufactures convention in Nos Astra. Ticket to the convention and the hotel have already been booked. I've already arranged someone who matches your descriptions to take your place, of course.” She paused and gave him a look with just a hint of amusement. “Unless you want to take the trip yourself.”

“I'm staying with the commander,” Kaidan replied quickly. _Whether you like it or not._

Lawson seemed resourceful and efficient, albeit cold.

“How did you find someone to take Kaidan's place in such short notice?” asked Shepard.

“You'll be surprised how many men jump at a chance for an all inclusive trip to a convention that shows you the latest omni-tools,” said Lawson airily. “All I have to do is to pick someone who is tall, dark-haired, and well... somewhat easy on the eyes.”

“Good call,” said Shepard, nodding.

Lawson then turned her attention back to Kaidan. “The commander has updated you, I suppose?”

“We're heading to Omega-4 relay,” said Kaidan. “But first, we need to find the IFF device on a derelict Collector ship.”

“And you know this is a suicide mission,” said Lawson coolly. Her gaze was both piercing and icy.

“That's why I'm here.” Kaidan returned her look steadily. “To make sure the commander comes back.”

One fine eyebrow raised as Lawson looked at him. “Back to you, or the Alliance?”

“Both,” Kaidan replied, his voice firm. “This is just a temporary alliance, Miss Lawson, out of necessity.”

“Is it? I believe the commander is free to choose her own path, Major.”

Kaidan was surprised that she knew about his latest promotion. He knew Shepard wasn't the type to tell, so it could only mean Cerberus had spies within the Alliance...

“Certainly not with Cerberus,” said Kaidan. “We've seen what your organization have done.”

“Done by different cells, not ours,” Lawson claimed. “And all serve one purpose: To advance humanity's role on the galactic stage.”

Kaidan frowned. “That's not an excuse for all the horrible experiments you've done.”

“Again, not mine,” Lawson insisted. “Individual cells make their decisions. Some cells are bad, yes. But can you honestly say there's no corruption within the Alliance?”

“We don't experiment on people.”

Lawson snorted. “You, of all people, should know the truth.” Icy cold gaze looked right at him. “Need I remind you, the 'brain camp'?”

Kaidan's eyes widened. How did she know that?

“Don't give me that look.” Lawson sat back with just a trace of a victorious smirk. “It's classified, but it doesn't mean the documents aren't accessible if you know where to look.”

“What do you know?” Kaidan demanded.

“Enough. I know that they took a group of kids away from their unsuspecting parents based on some false pretenses. Kidnapping, really. Then experimenting on them by implanting prototype chips, using them as lab rats, isolating them from their families and the rest of the world for months, and hiring unqualified mercenaries as instructors and personnel to guard that prison,” Lawson listed point by point. “Some of the subjects died, a lot were injured.”

Kaidan drew a subtle breath. Memories of that space station flooded back. He had gotten over it a long time ago, yet, still, it hurt a little to remember.

Lawson gave Kaidan a knowing look. “And I also know that it was shut down after an incident.”

Kaidan didn't reply. He didn't need to justify his actions to anyone. Shepard knew the truth, and that was enough.

“Good riddance, if you ask me,” Lawson concluded. “You did all the young biotics a favor.”

“Miranda,” said Shepard quietly but firmly.

“As I said,” Lawson continued her point, ignoring Shepard for the moment, “the Alliance has its share of dark secrets, you and I both know it. And if you really think the brass would openly accept the commander back without weeks of interrogations, then you're more naïve than you look.”

That was Kaidan's deepest fear, although he refused to show it. The truth was, even with Anderson's unconditional support, there's no guarantee that Shepard's return to the Alliance would to be smooth sailing. As much faith as Kaidan had with the Alliance as a whole, the brass could be far from flexible and understanding sometimes. And frankly, some of the admirals were simply out of touch.

“Excuse me!” Shepard interrupted before Kaidan could reply. “The commander is right here, and she can speak for herself.”

That stopped any further argument instantly.

Shepard shook her head. “What I'm going to do after this, I don't know yet. Hell, I might find a tropical island and retire there with Garrus and shoot bottles everyday.” Shepard leaned back on her chair with a weary sigh. “Let's take care of one problem at a time. We'll deal with the Collectors first.”

“Of course,” Lawson agreed.

Kaidan gave Shepard a little apologetic look. “Right. Sorry.”

“We have to work together to get through this,” said Shepard. “I trust both of you with my life. And I hope you two trust can each other in battles too.”

“Don't worry about me,” Kaidan assured her.

Lawson shrugged. “I've no problem working together.” She glanced at Kaidan with an arched eyebrow. “I trust the major won't try to kill me in my sleep, unlike a certain psychotic biotic onboard.”

“Personnel issue,” Shepard explained to him.

Joker had told him about the convict they had picked up in the prison, who turned out to be an incredibly powerful biotic, although extremely unstable.

“You're not the only one who has problems with Cerberus, Alenko,” said Lawson. “But we all have the same goal: To defeat the Collectors and preserve humanity. The Alliance and the Council won't do anything to stop the Collectors. It's up to us.”

For once, Kaidan agreed with her. “Let's get the job done and get on with our lives.”

“Couldn't agree more.” Lawson's keen eyes landed on Kaidan again, studying him curiously. “The commander spoke very highly of you. Your combat records support her claim. I look forward seeing your L2 implant in action.”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “You have my combat records?” He shouldn't be surprised anymore, not after knowing what she knew about BaAT.

Lawson merely shrugged as if it was the most trivial thing. “Not hard to obtain if you know the right person.”

Cerberus had definitely infiltrated the Alliance, Kaidan concluded. Anderson needed to know this.

“Despite what you think of Cerberus, what you think of me, you and I have at least one thing in common,” said Lawson, her voice took a surprisingly sincere turn. “We both want to protect Aerin. As the person who has spent two years to rebuild her, as her friend, or in your case...”

Aerin, he noticed she was calling Shepard by her name.

“Come on, Miranda, I can fight,” said Shepard, feigning to be offended. “I took down a thresher maw on foot.”

To Kaidan's surprise, a teasing smile appeared on the Ice Queen's face. “Yes, you did – against your better judgment,” Lawson chided somewhat gently. “I've never doubted your combat prowess, Commander. But our biotics have saved your ass too many times.” Lawson shot him a glance. “Wouldn't you agree, Major?”

Kaidan found himself bewildered by the most unexpected friendship between these two women. The Alliance commander and the Cerberus officer. Lawson's concern with Shepard's well-being seemed genuine. Her bone-chilling icy demeanor started to falter when she was talking to Shepard.

“What can I say?” Shepard shrugged, grinning slightly. “That's why I love biotics. You guys are walking weapons of mass destruction. And protection.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Ward, Bar

 

“It's good to have you back, Kaidan,” said Garrus, raising his drink.

Kaidan raised his. “It's good to be back.”

“Yeah, about time you join us.” Joker joined in with his bottle of beer. “Welcome aboard, Commander.”

“Major,” Shepard corrected him.

Joker raised an eyebrow up high. “Another promotion? Damn! That's what? Your third in two years?”

“Impressive,” said Garrus. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Kaidan shrugged. “Though I think Anderson threw in the title just so I'd take the new job.”

“Shitty assignment no one wants to take, huh?” asked Joker.

“A... different one,” said Kaidan. “Training biotics for covert missions.”

“An army of covert biotic agents,” Garrus commented with a similar fascination as Shepard. “Imagine the possibilities.”

Shepard nodded, agreeing with her best friend. “Anderson's latest brainchild. Kaidan's going to head that spec ops department.”

“Anderson's gonna have you work your butt off, Alenko,” said Joker. “But, hey, if he gave me a promotion and a raise, I'd clean the toilet for him.”

“Really?” Shepard shot him a sly look. “That can be arranged on the Normandy.”

“Hyperbole,” said Joker. “I can't clean your toilet, Shepard. Hello, Vrolik syndrome. Manual work will break my bones.”

It felt good to sit back and relax with his old friends. The camaraderie on the old Normandy was something Kaidan missed the most. Well, beside the captain.

“So, Garrus, how did it go with the date?” asked Kaidan curiously.

“It was... um... fun.” Garrus tried to maintain a straight face. “Thanks for your help the other night.”

“Wait, you guys set him up with a date?” asked Joker.

“Aerin did,” said Kaidan.

“That's the whole point of the tango,” said Shepard. “Getting every woman in the casino to look at our Archangel.”

“And here I thought you guys were testing out new battle tactics,” said Joker. “Who's the vict-- er I mean lucky lady?”

“A nice turian lady who works at the embassy,” Shepard answered for Garrus. “Almost screwed it up. Kaidan saved the day.”

“Gave him two bottles of beer to break the ice,” Kaidan told his pilot friend. “It's really no big deal.”

“Smart,” said Joker, nodding in approval. “Beer makes the world go round.”

There was a mischievous twinkle in Shepard's eyes as she turned to Garrus and asked with a nonchalant tone, “Did you get to test her flexibility with your reach?”

Joker choked on his drink, while Kaidan stared at Shepard, eyes widened. Although he knew Shepard had no real intention to pry, she was only trying to make their turian friend squirm. And she succeeded marvelously.

“So! Did I tell you how many hits our vid gets?” Garrus changed the subject all too quickly. “Millions!”

“Someone recorded the whole thing?” said Kaidan, joining in to switch the topic, bailing his friend out of yet another sticky situation. “I want to see it. I missed the beginning.”

“Ask and you shall receive,” Joker offered helpfully and transferred a file to Kaidan's omni-tool. “Enjoy.”

Shepard gave her pilot an incredulous look. “You've saved the file?”

“Saved and backup, twice!” Joker announced proudly.

“Oh god...” Shepard shook her head and covered her face with a hand. For once, the fearless commander seemed somewhat embarrassed. And, to Kaidan, that was incredibly adorable.

Kaidan leaned closer to her and said, “Hey, it was great. It was er...”

Shepard peeked at him. “Hot?”

He couldn't help but grin. “Very.”

That brought a rather sweet smile to her face.

“Here's an idea,” said Joker, his eyes lit up. “You guys should tour around the galaxy once this thing with the Reapers is over with. Charge them 1000 creds per head to watch your performance live! Pretty soon you would be swimming in money.”

“He'd probably blow every credit on his Atlas mech,” said Shepard. “An army of them.”

“You do know me,” said Garrus, grinning.

“So, you still haven't told us how you date went,” Shepard prodded persistently with a smirk.

“...It went well...” Garrus took a long sip of his drink.

Shaking his head, Kaidan gave Shepard a sideways glance and a tiny fond smile. “Come on, Aerin, leave Garrus alone. Let the man have his secrets.”

“Finally, our voice of reason is back,” said Garrus in a relief. “Much appreciated. I'm glad you're here, Kaidan. You've no idea what Shepard did to us when you're not around to keep her in line.”

Shepard frowned at her best friend. “What? I've been running a tight ship, Vakarian.”

“Yeah, suicide runs twice a day,” Garrus faked a complaint. “You'd make a turian general proud, Shepard.”

“That bad, huh?” said Kaidan with a chuckle. “Ouch.”

“Pfft, that's normal for our Shepard,” said Joker, waving a dismissive hand. “At least she's not asking you to fly to some weird, dangerous places where no one has ever been to-- Ooh, wait...”

Shepard gave them both a knowing smirk. “Admit it, you two love the excitements.”

Neither denied her claim.

“You know, now that Kaidan's back, we should go pick up Wrex and Liara,” Joker suggested. “Then we'll have a proper SR-1 reunion.”

There was still one person missing. Kaidan checked the time; their friend was late. “Speaking of... Where's Tali?”  
  


* * *

 

Her omni-tool illuminated her wrist with a familiar orange grow. Tali'Zohar stared at the screen, reading the same message for the fifth time. Or was it the tenth? The message remained the same, no matter how many times she'd reread it. Her heart only drummed faster.

Shaking her head, Tali switched off her omni-tool and headed to meet her friends, perhaps for one last time. They had all been good to her, especially Shepard, who had saved her life twice. The bar was packed. People gave her looks as she walked in; Tali was used to that. Besides, her mind was too troubled to care about what strangers thought about her.

Always the observant one, Kaidan spotted her first. He waved with a warm smile. Tali hadn't seen him for almost two years. The man had always been nice to her, friendly and caring, like a big brother she'd never had. Sitting next to him was Shepard, who nodded and smiled at her as she approached. Finally, they were back together, as they were meant to be. Despite her gloomy mood, Tali was glad. The Tale of Shepard and Alenko continued, the sad ending that had separated them two years ago was only temporary. This time, Tali hoped for a happy ending for her two good friends.

Next to the pair, Joker gave her his trademark smirk. “There she is! Told you she's operating on quarian time.”

“Shepard was about to launch a search party for you,” Garrus informed her jokingly.

“It's been a while, Tali,” said Kaidan with a smile. “It's good to see you again.”

“Me too,” Tali replied distractedly. Or should it be 'you too'? She couldn't think straight any longer.

She took a seat between Joker and Kaidan, trying her best to act as calm as she could. Those words in the message continued to haunt her.

Shepard's keen eyes studied her wordlessly for a moment. Tali swore the commander could see right through her mask.

“Something wrong?” asked Shepard.

All eyes were on Tali immediately. Four concern faces, four good friends.

She felt her throat tightened; she wanted to cry. But Tali'Zorah refused to cry. She was not that scared little girl who got into trouble on her Pilgrimage anymore.

Steeling herself, Tali started, “Unfortunately, I've some bad news.”

“What's wrong?” asked Kaidan immediately, giving her his full attention.

Her good friends were here to support her, Tali drew strength and comfort from their presence. Still, what she was about to say was hard.

“I'm sorry, Aerin,” said Tali after a moment of hesitation, “but I have to leave.”

Shepard frowned. “Leave? Why?”

She owed Shepard an explanation, she owed her friends a proper goodbye. As composed as she possibly could, Tali explained, “I just received a message from the Migrant Fleet.” She paused, still having trouble believing what she had just read. “The Admiralty Board has accused me of treason.”

“What?!” “What the shit?!” Voices raised all around their table.

“I'm scared,” Tali admitted weakly, sinking down in her chair.

“That's crazy!” said Shepard, scowling. “You would never betray your people. Anyone who knows you would never believe that!”

“She's right, Tali.” Kaidan's voice was calm but firm. “What's going on?”

“I don't know.” Tali shook her head helplessly. “They don't lay charges like this unless the evidence seems absolute. But thanks. I appreciate your faith in me.”

At least her friends believed her.

“Maybe it's a setup for someone who wants to take her down,” said Joker.

“But why is she a target?” asked Garrus. “Unless she's in someone's way.”

“What are the charges?” Shepard asked her, taking over the situation as she always did.

“I have no idea what they're accusing me of,” Tali told them, frustrated. “You'd think I would remember if I'd betrayed the fleet!”

Garrus shook his head in dismay. “And how are you going to defend yourself if you don't even know what you've done?”

“We should hire a lawyer,” Kaidan suggested.

Shepard nodded. “I'll ask Miranda to find us the best one.”

“Or try Liara,” said Garrus. “I'm sure she has some of the best lawyers in the galaxy on her speed dials.”

“That's not necessary,” said Tali. “A quarian trial is less formal than an Earth trial, or something you'd see on the Citadel. We're family. This is just the worst kind of family meeting.”

Shepard frowned in confusion. “Family meeting?”

“There's a hearing, with members of the Admiralty Board acting as judges. My father is an admiral on the board. He'll have to recuse himself from judgment. I can't even imagine what he's thinking right now.”

Angry? Disappointed? It was hard enough to grow up under her father's enormous shadow, how could she ever face her father even if her so-called crime was absolved?

“What's the worst case scenario?” asked Garrus.

“The punishment for treason is exile,” Tali told him. “If they convict me, I can never go back.”

“Family meeting...” Joker snorted and mumbled under his breath, “Yeah, right. Some kind of family.”

“Let's go find the flotilla,” Shepard declared decisively.

Tali was surprised, to say the least. “But the Collectors...”

“They haven't been attacking since Horizon,” said Shepard. “A minor delay will be fine.”

“I agree with Aerin,” said Kaidan calmly. “We'll get you through this, Tali. Otherwise, I don't think our commander can sleep at night.”

Joker nodded. “I'll get you there before your admirals change their suit filters, or... whatever they do in the morning.”

Tali was touched, more than touched. Her throat tightened again, this time not because of fear. “I was going to book passage on another ship. I didn't think there would be time for you to help. Thank you, all of you.”

“You are one of us, Tali,” Shepard told her, looking straight in those eyes hidden behind the helmet. “We've got your back, no matter what.”

Yes. Even if she lost her place on the Flotilla, Tali knew she would always have one on the Normandy.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Very long chapter, please excuse any mistakes and typos because my eyes are too tired from editing this for a week straight.

The major is aboard, finally. This was something I didn't expect when I started this story, but as the characters grow and the story takes shape, this path makes sense.

Thanks for reading! And thanks for following!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	32. Treason

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 31: Treason

Year: 2185CE

Location: Migrant Fleet, The Rayya

 

The Flotilla. A place where Shepard had always wanted to visit, although certainly not under current circumstances. Tali led the way out of the decontamination chamber of the Rayya. Shepard followed, with Garrus and Kaidan trailing behind. All were here to support their friend, all remained quiet and cautious.

The door slid open, revealing a welcoming committee – if having a group of armed soldiers blocking their path was considered a welcoming gesture.

One of the quarians stepped up to meet Shepard's group.

“Captain Kar'Danna,” Tali greeted then turned to Shepard. “Captain Aerin Shepard vas Normandy, this is Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow slightly at her newfound title. Her helmet masked most of her expression, except for her eyes.

“Captain Shepard,” said Captain Kar'Danna with a nod. “Tali'Zorah told me a lot about you. I wish we could meet under more pleasant circumstances.”

“Captain Danna,” Shepard greeted with equal respect. “Tali helped the Normandy's crew out of many difficult situations. We're here to provide support for her as her friend.”

“I understand. As the commander of the vessel she serves on, your voice carries weight.”

“What exactly are the charges?” asked Shepard.

The captain turned to Tali, his expression unreadable behind his mask. “They're charging you with bringing active Geth into the Fleet as part of a secret project.”

“That's insane!” said Tali. “I never brought active Geth aboard. I only sent parts and pieces.”

Shepard stared at her quarian friend, disbelieved. “You sent Geth materials back to the Migrant Fleet?”

“Yes,” Tali admitted then quickly clarified, “My father was working on a project. He needed the materials. If I sent back something that was only damaged, not permanently inactive...” She shook her head, muttering to herself, “No. No, I checked everything. I was careful.”

Shepard shared a look with Kaidan and Garrus. While the tinted visor of Garrus' helmet blocked his expression completely, that tiny shake of his head told Shepard he felt the same way she did, which could summarize by two words: Oh crap.

“Technically,” said the captain, “I'm under orders to place Tali'Zorah vas Normandy under arrest pending the hearing. So, Tali... you're confined to this ship until the trial is over.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Tali paused then asked, “Wait, did you call me 'vas Normandy'?”

“I'm afraid I did,” said Captain Danna somewhat apologetically. “The Admiralty Board moved to have you tried under that name, given your departure from the Neema.”

“Why does her name matter?” asked Shepard.

“They stripped me of my ship name, Aerin,” said Tali. “That's as good as declaring me exiled already.”

“It's not over yet, Tali,” the captain assured her. “You have friends who still know you as Tali'Zorah vas Neema... whatever we must call you legally.”

“Does Tali have a defense counselor?” asked Shepard, frowning at the turn of events. “Someone who speaks for her side?”

“Indeed she does, Captain Shepard,” said Captain Danna. “She is part of your crew, now, recognized by quarian law. An accused is always represented by his or her ship's captain.”

Oh crap, indeed.

“So, er...” Tali turned to her, catching Shepard's attention. “You would actually speak for my defense.”

Despite her apprehension, Shepard put on a confident front with practiced ease, for Tali's sake. “I'll do everything in my power to help you, Tali.”

“Thank you, Aerin. I could not ask for a better counselor.”

Shepard took a subtle breath and announced, “Let's get this over with.”

“Preparations got underway as soon as you arrived.” Captain Danna stepped back and motioned down the hallway. “The hearing's being held in the garden plaza. Good luck.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Migrant Fleet, The Rayya, Garden Plaza

 

Upon the platform stood four quarian admirals. Shepard had been briefly introduced to all of them a short moment ago. Behind the raised podium on the highest step of the platform stood Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, who served as a moderator instead of a judge due to her close relationship with Tali. Standing in front of her, on a step below were three other admirals. Two men and one woman. Four in total. One was missing...

“Where's my father?” Shepard heard Tali mumbling to herself.

“He's not in the audience?” Shepard whispered back.

Tali glanced around the mini auditorium that served as a make-shift court. “No...”

“This Conclave is brought to order,” announced Shala'Raan. “Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai.”

“Keelah se'lai,” the crowd echoed.

“The accused,” Raan continued, “Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, has come with her captain to defend herself against the charge of treason.”

“Objection!” said Admiral Zaal'Koris. “A human has no business at a hearing involving such sensitive military matters!”

Shepard scowled.

“Then you should not have declared Tali crew of the Normandy, Admiral Koris,” said Shala'Raan. “By right as Tali's captain, Shepard must stay.”

So that's the man she had to look out for, Shepard noted.

“Objection withdrawn,” Koris conceded with a huff.

“Aerin Shepard vas Normandy,” said Raan, “your crew member Tali'Zorah stands accused of treason. Will you speak for her?”

“I will, but I shouldn't have to,” said Shepard. “When Tali helped me stop Saren and his Geth army, her actions spoke for themselves.” Her tone then sharpened. “Without her help, none of you would be alive to put her on trial today.”

“Well said, Shepard,” said Admiral Han'Gerrel. He then turned to his colleagues. “None of us should forget Tali's contributions to the Fleet.”

Shepard nodded in agreement. “I will speak for Tali'Zorah. But in her heart, she remains Tali'Zorah vas Neema, a proud member of the Migrant Fleet.” Her gaze landed on Admiral Koris. “I regret that her captain is forbidden to stand at her side today.”

“Nobody has been forbidden from anything!” Zaal'Koris was fast to defend. “It is a simple--”

“Lie to them if you must, Zaal'Koris,” Han'Gerrel interrupted, “but don't lie to me and expect me to stay silent! The human is right!”

“Admirals, please,” Raan urged. “Shepard's willingness to represent Tali'Zorah in this hearing is appreciated.” She turned to Tali. “Tali, you are accused to bringing active Geth to the Migrant Fleet. What say you?”

“Tali would never endanger the Migrant Fleet,” Shepard answered for her. “She pleads not guilty.”

“I left parts and technology for teams to pick up,” said Tali. “My father ordered me to do so. But I would never send active Geth to the Fleet. Everything I sent was disabled and harmless.”

“Then explain,” said Koris, “how Geth seized the lab ship where your father was working!”

“What?” Shepard scowled. _What the hell is going on?!_

The crowd started to mumble.

“What are you talking about?” Tali demanded. “What happened?”

“As far as we can tell, Tali,” said Gerrel, “the Geth have killed everyone on the Alarei... your father included.”

“What?” Tali gasped, stumbling back a few steps. “Oh, Keelah...”

Shepard put a comforting hand to steady Tali before she took a protective step in front of the shocked woman.

“I thought quarians valued family!” Shepard snapped at the admirals. “How can you justify bring this to Tali in the middle of a damn trial?”

“Our apologies,” said Shala'Raan. “Tali should have been informed.”

Taking a breath to control her raising anger, Shepard willed herself to focus on the matter at hand.

“If the Geth have already seized one of your ships,” said Shepard, “our first concern must be the safety of the Migrant Fleet. The Normandy stands ready to assist in whatever capacity necessary.”

“Thank you,” said Shala'Raan. “Quarian strike teams have attempted to retake the ship, so far without success.”

Tali turned to her sharply. “Aerin, we have to take back the Alarei!”

“The safest course would be to simply destroy the ship,” said Koris. “But if you are looking for an honorable death instead of exile...”

“I'm looking for my father,” Tali hissed, “you bosh'tet!”

“You intend to retake the Alarei from the Geth?” asked Raan. “This proposal is extremely dangerous.”

“With your permission, Admirals,” said Shepard, “yes. The good of the Fleet must come first. And Tali needs to find her father.”

“Agreed,” said Gerrel. “And if you die on this worthy mission, Tali, we will see that your name is cleared of these charges.”

“Then it is decided,” said Raan. “You will attempt to retake the Alarei. You are hereby given leave to depart the Rayya. A shuttle will be waiting at the secondary docking hanger. Be safe, Tali. This hearing will resume upon your return, or upon determination that you have been killed in action.”  
  


* * *

 

“Commander,” Miranda's voice come through Shepard's radio as she cleared the steps of the auditorium. “The admirals don't seem to get along.”

“Not surprising. Humans or quarians, politicians all have their own agendas.”

“There are only three judges, if you can sway two of their votes...”

“I don't have time to play that game, Miranda,” said Shepard. “I have to deal with a ship full of Geth.”

“I'll have a team suit up and meet with you,” said Miranda.

“The four of us can retake the ship.”

“A ship full of Geth,” her XO repeated what she had just said flatly.

“All right, send three. I don't want to leave my ship unprotected,” said Shepard. “Update Joker on the situation. The Normandy needs to be ready for anything.”

“Understood. Be careful, Aerin.”

Near the hallway, Tali was talking to Admiral Raan – or as Tali had called her earlier, Auntie Raan. Shepard left them alone and joined her own team.

“This doesn't look good,” Shepard heard Kaidan commenting quietly to Garrus as she approached.

Garrus shook his head. “She should never have admitted to sending Geth parts. Not after Aerin has already pleaded not guilty for her.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. “You want her to lie to the court?”

“Of course not,” said Garrus. “But sometimes silence is golden, especially in a trial. It keeps you from digging yourself into a hole.”

That she had to agree.

“The damage's already done,” said Kaidan. “Right now, we need to find a way to exonerate her.”

Garrus paused for a moment to think. “We need solid evidence to prove that the parts were indeed disabled.”

“Records of her shipments, maybe,” Kaidan suggested. “Something that proves that she was careful, that this is all just a terrible accident that nobody could have foreseen.”

Shepard remained quiet as the two men discussed strategies. She observed the admirals from afar, each of them occupied a different corner in the plaza with their followers. A house divided. And Tali's fate would be determined by the whims of these three people – and her own performance as an impromptu lawyer. Shepard grimaced at that thought.

First things first, though, she had to get rid of the Geth. Again.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Migrant Fleet, The Alarei

 

It had been two years since Kaidan had last fought a Geth, but everything he'd learned about those synthetic creatures came right back to him. From their types, to their tactics, to their strengths and weaknesses.

His biotics had gotten stronger in the past two years, although his powers were nowhere near as strong as one of their allies who had just stripped the shields of two Geth hunters in one single move. The justicar named Samara. The thousand-year-old asari warrior fought with so much grace and power, Kaidan would easily find himself staring in awe if he wasn't under constant fire.

Samara's singularity lifted two Geth in the air. Kaidan immediately sent over a well-placed warp, taking down both floating Geth with a biotic explosion. The justicar glanced at him briefly and nodded. As strange as it sounded, Kaidan felt like a child being praised by most admired teacher. That idle thought was fleeting, though, as he instantly reined in every thought and emotion, and focused on the next target.

Kaidan ducked behind a lab table, omni-tool lit up in bright orange as he set an overload to destroy the shield of a Geth near Shepard.

“Go for the optics, Chiktikka!” Tali yelled. “Go for the optics!”

At the corner of his eye, Tali's drone flew passed. Hidden safely behind a dark corner, his quarian friend was busy hacking into the system of one of the Geth. Soon enough, a Geth hunter turned around and started shooting at its own troop.

His biotics flared once more. Kaidan jumped out of his cover and stripped the shield of a Geth their krogan ally was charging towards. Grunt knocked the stunned target off its feet, then, with a tiny yet giddy laugh, he pumped his shotgun pointblank at its flashlight head.

Over his radio, Kaidan heard a low, raspy voice swearing up a storm. He scanned the battlefield – the remnant of what used to be a laboratory – and found Zaeed ducked behind a desk, reloading his rifle rapidly, with a Geth approaching only two steps away.

“Massani, behind you!” Kaidan warned, as he slammed the Geth onto the shelves nearby with his biotics, buying the older man a few precious seconds.

The mercenary sprung out of his cover, rifle fully loaded. “I got it!” Bullet sprayed. Headlight extinguished.

Kaidan resumed firing at the Geth while his powers were cooling down. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. He felt more alive than he had for a long time. This was where he should be, helping Shepard, helping his friends. Kaidan knew he had chosen the right path.

 

* * *

 

“Did you know what kind of tests your father was running?” Shepard asked as they searched the lab.

Fighting in close quarters with shotgun-wielding Geth was hardly what Shepard would consider fun – although Grunt would strongly disagree. But, so far, the Geth didn't give them too much problem.

“No,” Tali replied. “Father just told me to send back any Geth technology I could find that wasn't a direct danger to the Fleet. I suspected he might be testing weapons, but I thought he was just working on new ways to bypass shield or armor.”

“How did you get these things to your father?” Kaidan asked, inspecting what seemed to be a piece of an robotic arm.

“Sometimes I left packages at secure drops in civilized areas,” said Tali. “Someone on Pilgrimage would see that it was shipped home. For very valuable finds, I'd signal home, and Father would send a small ship.” She stepped up to a nearby workbench. “This is one of the storage units I sent to Father. Looks like parts from a disable repair drone, plus a reflex algorithm that I didn't recognize. I got this from Haestrom.”

Shepard frowned in confusion. “Haestrom was a war zone. How did you salvage gear in the middle of all that?”

“These suits have more pockets that you'd think. Quarians have learned how to salvage whatever we can whenever we can.”

Kaidan took a curious look at the drone. “Does this salvaged gear give you a clue as to what happened here?”

“No. I don't know.” Tali shook her head with a sigh. “Kaidan, I checked everything I sent here. I passed up great finds because they might be too dangerous, prone to uncontrolled reactivation or self-repair. I don't know which possibility is worse: that I got sloppy and sent something dangerous, or that Father actually did all this.”

Kaidan put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I've worked with you before, Tali, and I know you're always careful. Maybe there's another explanation for this.”

“Keelah, I hope so...”

“Shepard,” Garrus called out from the other side of the room. “Over here.”

Shepard joined him.

“Check it out,” he told her then replayed a log on a console.

“ _First entry,_ ” said a quarian researcher on the small screen. “ _Our hacking attempts failed. The Geth have an adaptive consciousness. Hack one process, and the other auto-correct. Still, we're making progress. Rael'Zorah is convinced we'll have a viable system in less than a year. This weapon will put our people back on the homeworld. And it's all because of Rael'Zorah._ ”

“They were preparing for a war with the Geth?” said Shepard, frowning.

“There's more,” said Garrus, pressing another button.

The log played again. “ _Something's slowing down the systems. We're taking down the firewalls to rebalance load distribution. Rael'Zorah ordered us to bypass standard safeties. Following security protocols will take too long.”_

Shepard scowled at the implication. Hacking the Geth. Bypassing security protocols. Geth parts assembled to be fully functioned AI. Pieces of the puzzle started to fall in place.

She glanced up at Garrus, his face still masked behind his helmet. But somehow Shepard knew he had come to the same conclusion as well. “They were testing weapons on the Geth...”

Garrus nodded. “And something went terribly wrong. Fast.”

Shepard glanced over at Tali, who was inspecting shipment logs with Kaidan. “Keep this to ourselves for now,” she told her turian twin. “Until we have solid evidence.”

 

* * *

 

Garrus never had problem killing Geth. From small ones like drones to the giant colossus. To him, they were perfect target practice. Yet, somehow, he felt a bit unsettled by the fact that the quarians were testing weapons on refurbished Geth. What had already been destroyed, now reassembled with the sole purpose of being destroyed again.

Garrus shook his head to clear his mind, pushing aside any other thoughts for now. Battles awaited. Even though the immediate area had been cleared, no doubt there were more Geth waiting in the next area of the ship.

But, for now, he could afford to take a breather as he reloaded his sniper rifle with disruptor ammo. Garrus watched idly as Tali approached a console on the wall with Shepard and Kaidan flanking either side of her. Those two humans were always somewhat protective of the young quarian, especially now when Tali needed them the most.

“This console might have something,” said Tali as she ran a scan on her omni-tool. “Most of the data is corrupted, but a few bits are left.” She paused, reading the data. “They were performing experiments on Geth systems, looking for new ways to overcome Geth resistance to reprogramming.”

“Could any of that data clear your name?” asked Shepard.

“Doubtful. This is mostly result data. Effects of different disruptive hacking techniques. I don't understand all of it.”

Curious, Garrus moved to join them.

“Keelah...” Tali took a closer look. “They may have been activating the Geth deliberately. I don't know. Nothing here say specifically. But if they were... then Father was doing something terrible.”

This confirmed their suspicion.

Shepard glanced at him with a knowing look in her eyes. Garrus could only shrug subtly. Sooner or later, Tali would find out the truth. And, more often than not, the truth would sting like hell.

“What was all this, Father?” Tali mumbled to herself. “You promised you'd build me a house on the homeworld. Was this going to bring us back home?”

A house on the homeworld. Garrus had one, one he hadn't visited for a long while. Perhaps he would never understand how it was like to not have a homeworld.

“You'll reclaim your homeworld someday, Tali,” said Kaidan quietly.

Garrus was glad to have Kaidan back. Besides his guns and his biotics, that man had always been the calming factor in their little group.

“Taking back our planet will only be the beginning,” Tali replied. “We have to cannibalize our Fleet to build cities and infrastructure. It will take generations of gene therapy to readapt our immune systems so we could live without our suits again. We'll be adapting our entire culture. Again.” She paused and sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if it's actually worth it.”

_No_ , Garrus thought, _no, it might not be._

Wars had always been tricky for quarians. They couldn't afford a frontline attack when suit puncture could kill a quarian soldier with inflection if medical supplies ran low. There could only be one result if they started a war with the Geth: Massive casualty.

“Have the quarians considered colonizing a new world?” Garrus asked.

“We have enough difficulty reacclimating to our own native environment,” said Tali. “Adjusting for exposure to a foreign colony would be even harder. It's the difference between 60 years and 600. For anyone alive now to watch a sunset without a mask, we must take back our home.”

“Come on, let's find your father first,” said Shepard, leading the way to the exit.

From what he had seen so far, Garrus could safely estimate the chance of survival for Tali's father. It was slim. Slim to none. He kept that thought to himself, though. For once, Garrus honestly hoped that he was wrong.

 

* * *

 

Kaidan reached for another clip of ammo and reloaded his rifle. According to the schematic he had downloaded on his omni-tool, the bridge should be up ahead.

He glanced over at Tali as she stepped over the fallen Geth that had been reactivated by her own father. She had been quiet ever since she had discovered her father's experiments just a while ago. Kaidan had kept a closer eye on her ever since.

Up ahead, Shepard holstered her gun and approached a terminal on one of the desks.

Kaidan joined her as she played another log by the science team.

“ _Who's running this system diagnostic?_ ” a quarian scientist asked, shaking her head in both dismay and shock. “ _I didn't authorize... Oh, Keelah. How many Geth are networked?_ ”

“ _All of them,_ ” said her colleague. “ _Rael'Zorah--_ ”

“ _Shut it down!_ ” urged the first scientist. “ _Shut everything down! They're in the system!_ ”

Shepard shared a look with him, then continued to play the next recording.

“ _We locked down navigation,”_ said the previous female scientist. _“Weapons are offline. Our mistake won't endanger the Fleet.”_ Her voice took an urgent turn. _“They're burning through the door. I don't have much time. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Jona, if you get this, be strong for Daddy.”_ There was an explosion that brightened the screen. _“Mommy loves you very much!_ ”

“Oh god...” Kaidan grimaced, shaking his head.

“Tali's father ordered them to bypass standard security protocols, because it'd take too long,” Shepard told him very quietly. “All these... just to test their weapons against the Geth...”

Before he could say anything, Tali's scream cut through.

“FATHER!”

They dashed through the room, heading for the hallway to the bridge, and found a quarian body lying in the middle.

Tali dropped down on her knees, reaching for her father. “No, no, no! You always had a plan! Masked life signs, or, or an onboard medical stasis program, maybe. You! You wouldn't...” She gasped for a breath. “They're wrong! You wouldn't just die like this! You wouldn't leave me to clean up your mess! You can't!”

“Hey.” Shepard stepped up and took Tali by her arm, gently yet firmly pulled her away from her father's corpse. “Hey, come here.”

She pulled the slender quarian into her arms. Tali clung onto her for her dear life, trembling.

“Damn it! Damn it,” Tali mumbled, sobbing. “I'm sorry.”

“You've got nothing to be sorry about.”

The rest of the team gathered around, all remained respectfully quiet.

“Maybe...” Tali stepped back, looking at her father. “He would have known I'd come. Maybe he left a message.” Tali once again knelt down beside her father and activated his omni-tool.

A hologram of Rael'Zorah came to live, “Tali. If you're listening, then I am dead. The Geth have gone active. I don't have much time. Their main hub will be on the bridge. You will need to destroy it to stop their VI processes from forming new neural links. Make sure Han'Gerrel and Daro'Zen see the data. They must--” The recording stopped abruptly by the sound of gunshots.

“Thanks, Dad...”

Shepard helped her back on her feet. “He knew you'd come for him. He was trying to help you. He cared about you, Tali.”

Tali shook her head. “I don't know what's worst: thinking he never really cared, or thinking that he did, and that this was the only way he could show it.”

“Take a moment, Tali,” said Shepard. “I'll go destroy the hub.”

“No,” said Tali, her voice suddenly strengthened. “I have to do this. I cared, and I'm here to end this.”

Shepard nodded, stepping back to let Tali take the lead.

Next to Kaidan, Zaeed mumbled, “Dying for some goddamn data. Is it really worth it?”

Kaidan shook his head. “I don't know... But the price has already been paid, let's hope they can get some good use out of it.”

The mercenary glanced at Tali. “Poor kid. Seeing her old man murdered – _and_ it's his own damn fault. That's gotta mess her up...”

“Tali is stronger than she looks,” said Kaidan as they headed to the bridge. “We'll help her through this.”

Zaeed studied him with his good eye and smirked lightly.

Kaidan frowned. “What?”

“You sounded just like Shepard.”

Gunshots suddenly rang ahead. Kaidan immediately released his biotics.

“Come on, Alenko,” said the mercenary with his rifle ready. “Let's go kill those synthetic bastards.”

 

* * *

 

 

Tali stood in front of the main console of the bridge for a long moment. Shepard glanced at Kaidan and nodded. Together, they approached her quietly.

“This console is linked to the main hub Father mentioned,” Tali told them when they were near. “Disabling it shut down any Geth we missed.”

Shepard studied her. Although she couldn't see through the mask, Tali's hesitation was telling. “Something wrong?”

Tali continued, “It looks like some of the recordings remained intact. They'll tell us how this happened, what Father did.”

“Are you okay?” asked Shepard.

“Look, Tali,” said Kaidan quietly, “if you don't want to hear it--”

“No,” Tali insisted. “We have to, Kaidan, I know. I just... This is terrible. I don't want to know that he was part of this.”

“Avoiding it won't change the facts,” said Shepard. “Whatever he did, he had good intentions.”

Tali hesitated, but in the end, she pressed a button on the console.

The screen flicked, then three quarians were shown.

“ _Do we have enough parts to bring more online?_ ” Rael'Zorah asked.

“ _Yes,_ ” said one of the scientists. “ _The new shipment from your daughter will let us add two more Geth to the network._ ”

“ _We're nearing a breakthrough on systemic viral attacks,”_ said the other scientist. _“Perhaps we should inform the Admiralty Board, just to be safe._ ”

“ _No. We're too close,_ ” said Rael'Zorah. “ _I promised to build my daughter a house on the homeworld. I'm not going to sit and wait while the politicians argue._ ”

“ _We'd have an easier time of it if Tali'Zorah could send back more working material._ ”

“ _Absolutely not!_ ” Rael'Zorah snapped. “ _I don't want Tali exposed to any political blowback. Leave Tali out of this. Assemble new Geth with what we have. Bypass security protocols if need be._ ”

The screen flicked once more, the log ended.

“He wanted to keep his promise,” Shepard commented softly.

“I never wanted this, Aerin. Keelah, I never wanted this!” Tali jumped away from the console as if she was avoiding a plague. “Everything here is his fault! I tried to pretend it didn't point to him, but this... When this comes up in the trial, they'll...” She whipped around to face Shepard. “We can't tell them! Not the admirals, not anyone!”

“Tali, without this evidence, you're looking at exile!” Shepard reminded her bluntly.

“You think I don't know that? You think I want to live knowing that I can't see the Fleet again? But I can't go back into that room and say that my father was the worst war criminal in our people's history. I cannot!”

Kaidan stepped in and reasoned calmly, “Your father doesn't need you to worry about him anymore, Tali. He didn't want you to be caught in the politics.”

Shepard nodded. “Besides, it's his dying wish to have this data sent to Han'Gerrel and Daro'Zen.”

“You don't understand!” said Tali, exasperated. “They would strike his name from the manifest of every ship he ever served on. He would be worse than an exile. He'd be a traitor to our people, held up as a monster in a cautionary tale for children! I can't let all the good he did be destroyed for this!”

Protecting the name of a dead man but sending his daughter to exile? No...

“Please, Aerin,” Tali pleaded. “Don't destroy what my father was.”

A faint beep on her earpiece stole her attention before Shepard could make a decision.

“Commander,” Miranda's voice came through. “I've found something.”

“What?”

“The trial is not about Tali, it's about the Geth.”

“What do you mean?”

“There's a power struggle between the admirals. Han'Gerrel and Rael'Zorah were on the same side. Gerrel wants to go to war with the Geth to reclaim their homeworld. Zaal'Koris, however, opposes that idea. He believes that Geth are sentient and have as much right to live as the quarians.”

Shepard frowned as she listened intently.

“Daro'Xen disagrees with both,” Miranda continued. “She sees Koris as a coward, and Gerrel's plans for war as self-destructive.”

“Then what does she want?”

“She's the most ambitious one among the admirals,” said Miranda. “She doesn't want to destroy the Geth or avoid them. She wants to see the Geth return back to their old masters.”

“So she wants to control the largest synthetic army in the galaxy...” Shepard concluded.

“Precisely,” said Miranda. “They knew Rael'Zorah was dead before we even arrived. This trial is a perfect excuse to blame everything on the girl who sent parts back to the Fleet. Koris even kept Tali's old captain from speaking for her in her trial.”

Shepard's scowl deepened. “To further discredit her.”

“A brilliant plan, I have to say,” said Miranda. “But, as always, they underestimated the humans. They underestimated _you,_ Shepard. Big mistake.”

“I hate politicians,” Shepard mumbled under her breath.

Miranda chuckled faintly. “I think I've given you enough ammunition, Commander. Use them well.”

“That you have, Miranda. Thanks. I know what to do.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Migrant Fleet, The Rayya, Garden Plaza

 

“We cleared the Geth from the Alarei,” Shepard announced as she cleared the steps down to the make-shift court. “It should be safe for your people to return.”

“Thank you,” said Admiral Koris. “We sincerely appreciate your efforts to aid the quarian people.”

Admiral Gerrel then asked, “Did you find anything on the Alarei that could clarify what happened there?”

“Aerin...” Tali called out quietly. “Please...”

Shala'Raan asked, “Does Captain Shepard have any new evidence to submit to this hearing?”

_I'm done playing this game._ “Tali helped me defeat Saren and the Geth at the Citadel,” said Shepard firmly. “That should be all the evidence you need.”

Admiral Koris shook his head. “I fail to see what relevance--”

“You're not really interested in Tali, are you?” Shepard cut him off. “This trial isn't about her. It's about the Geth.”

“This hearing has nothing to do with the Geth!”

Her temper flared. “Enough with your lies!” Shepard snapped. “Han'Gerrel wants to go to war with the Geth! And _you_ are trying to build sympathy for them to forestall the war effort! None of you care about Tali!”

The admirals were stunned. The crowd gasped and started to talk among themselves.

_Now I've your attention._ “Look at them, all of you!” Shepard shouted, pacing in front of the audience. “They don't care about Tali! All they care about is their war with the Geth! Tali risked her life for all of you! On Haestrom, hell, on the Citadel when she stopped Saren! She deserves better than  _this_ !”

The mumbles got louder and louder with each word.

Shepard stared into each mask as if she was talking to her audience personally. “She knows more about Geth than any quarian alive. You should be listening to her, not putting her on trial!” Shepard waved a dramatic hand toward her slender quarian friend. “Tali'Zorah saved the Citadel! She saved the Alarei! She showed the galaxy the value of the quarian people! What stronger evidence do you need to prove her loyalty to the Fleet? The parts she sent were all disabled, and she had nothing to do this tragedy!”

“If Commander Shepard has no new evidence,” said Koris before Shepard could continue with her impromptu speech, “I suggest we render judgment.”

Shepard whipped back to the platform and stated, “We have no new evidence, Admirals. You can accept Tali's word, or you can exile the woman who saved the Citadel from the Geth!”

“Wait!” said Veetor, rushing down the stairs to join them. “Shepard is right! Tali saved me! She doesn't deserve to be exiled!”

“Damn straight!” said Kal'Reegar, standing from the audience. “Tali's done more for this Fleet than you assholes ever will! You're pissing on everything I fought for! Everything Tali fought for! So if you exile her... you might as well do the same to me!”

Veetor nodded firmly. “Me too.”

_Oh shit..._ While Shepard appreciated their support, her gamble had better pay off, or else three quarians would be exiled because of her reluctance to present the real evidence.

Holding her breath, Shepard watched as the admirals voted. It was one of the longest ten seconds in her life.

“Tali'Zorah,” Shala'Raan announced. “In light of your history of service, we do not find sufficient evidence to convict. You are cleared of all charges.”

Shepard finally released a heavy breath.

“Commander Shepard,” Shala'Raan continued, “the Fleet appreciates the passion and honor with which you represented one of our people.”

“With all due respect, Admiral,” said Shepard, “I didn't represent one of your people. I represented one of mine.”

“That you did.” Gerrel nodded with approval.

“The Reapers are coming,” Shepard told them while she still had their attentions. “I'm going to need your help to stop them. Please don't throw away your lives against the Geth.”

“Thank you, Commander Shepard,” said Koris. “I hope this board carefully considers your advice.”

“This hearing is concluded,” said Raan. “Go in peace, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Keelah se'lai.”  
  


* * *

 

“I can't believe you pull that off,” said Tali after they had left the make-shift court. “What you said... I've never had anyone speak like that on my behalf. Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when... Thank you.”

Shepard flashed a teasing smile. “I can still go back in and get you exile if you want.”

That brought a faint laugh from Tali despite her grief, for that, Shepard was glad. “Thanks, but I'm fine with things like this. It's fun watching you shout.”

“Tali, about what your father said, what he did...” Shepard gave her friend's shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You deserved better.”

“I got better, Aerin. I got you.”

Shepard had to smile at that. “Not just me. You have everyone else. Kaidan, Garrus, Chakwas, even Joker.”

Tali nodded. “I know...”

“Ready to get back to our ship, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy?”

“I'd like to stay here for one night, if that's okay with our schedule. I'd like to be here when they retrieve my father's body...”

Shepard nodded understandingly. “Take your time.”

“Thank you, Captain.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2

 

“Quite a performance you pull back there, Shepard,” said Garrus as they waited for the standard decontamination process to finish.

Shepard pulled off her helmet with a tired sigh. “I'm glad this is over.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan agreed, then gave her a tiny teasing smirk. “Say, have you ever considered switching career and becoming a lawyer?”

Shepard shot him a look. “Unless the laws allow lawyers to use their guns in the courtroom, then no, Kaidan. Not interested.”

“Sometimes, a bullet is what justice calls for,” said Garrus. “Swift justice.”

Decontamination process completed. The door hissed open. Shepard was surprised to find Miranda already waiting for her on the other side.

“Impressive work, Commander,” said her XO.

“Thanks to your ammunition,” said Shepard as she headed down the hall to the CIC. “Tali is spending the night with her people. Tell Joker we're not leaving until tomorrow.”

“And our next stop?” asked Miranda.

“Hawking Eta,” Shepard replied, giving out the order to begin the first step of their suicide mission. “It's time to get that IFF.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: This is a taste of what's to come now that Kaidan's back on the Normandy. I'll try balance the roles and screen time of Kaidan, Garrus, and Miranda as equally as possible. We're heading to the homestretch. Stay tune.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	33. Eye of the Hurricane

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 32: Eye of the Hurricane

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

The metal floor underneath her boots once again shook violently. It almost knocked Shepard off her feet as she dashed down the hallway of the Normandy, heading to the bridge. The door to the cockpit slid open automatically before she stumbled through, thanks to the motion sensors.

“What's with all the chop, Joker?” Shepard demanded.

“Doing my best,” her pilot replied. His hand moved fast across multiple consoles. “The wind's gusting to 500kph!”

Another violent bump tossed her back. Shepard grabbed onto the tall back of the pilot seat to avoid landing unceremoniously on her ass.

Among the loud grumbling noise of the turbulence, she heard a faint curse from her pilot.

“What?” Shepard scowled.

“There's second ship alongside the Reaper,” Joker reported. “It's not transmitting any IFF, but the ladar paints its silhouette as Geth.”

“Geth,” she breathed, swallowing a curse of her own. “I guess we know why the science team stopped reporting in.”

It was as if someone had just flicked a switch to stop the turbulence, suddenly, the Normandy was back to a quiet, smooth ride. No more bumps, no more noises.

“What just happened?” asked Shepard.

“The Reaper's mass effect fields are still active. We just passed inside their envelope.”

Through the window, she could see a familiar shape floating in space. A derelict Reaper, disabled by some unknown species 37 million years ago. Seeing another Reaper again – albeit a dead one – sent a chill down her spine.

There was a massive hole in its hull. A fatal blow, perhaps. Shepard knew the Reapers could be killed; hell, they had killed one two years ago. But Sovereign was just a vanguard. And there was an army of them out there, somewhere, waiting to strike.

Shepard sucked in a breath.

Joker turned and glanced at her. “Eye of the hurricane, huh?”

A Cerberus vessel was attached to the Reaper. Their science team had built a makeshift station to investigate the Reaper corpse. That would be her point of entry.

Shepard pushed all the unsettling thoughts aside. Time to get to work.

“Stay alert.” She gave her pilot a customary pat on the shoulder and left the bridge.

 

* * *

 

Location: Cerberus Station

  
  


And they were off. Their destination: Inside a dead Reaper.

No one would believe half of the things he had done with Shepard over the years. Of all the places they had been to, this had to be one of the weirdest, if not _the_ weirdest location. Still, Garrus followed Shepard without any complaint – well, not a serious one anyway.

“Exploring an abandoned area,” said Garrus to Kaidan lightly as they headed into the Cerberus station, “expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at any moment. Just like old times.”

“Can't say I missed this,” Kaidan replied, with his gun in his hands. “Not with the smell.”

“Smells bad,” Grunt agreed. The young krogan sniffed and glanced around. “There's blood, but something's wrong with it.”

Over the years, he had become desensitized by the smell of death and blood, which was definitely not a good sign. Here in this station, though, there was something else in the air. Something more than dead. And it made his skin itch and his mandibles twitch. Garrus didn't like it a bit.

The smell only got worse as the door at the end of the hallway opened. Garrus grimaced.

As expected, what greeted them was a corpse. A human, badly burned and decomposed. Judging from the blood stains and the position of the body, that poor bastard was hit then smashed to the wall before sliding his way down to the floor.

Shepard had yet to say a word, Garrus noticed. Her lips were pressed thin, her jaw set, her brows furrowed. The commander hardly spared a glance to the corpse on the floor or the blood stains on the wall.

Garrus glanced down toward the open area ahead. It seemed to be a data center of some sort. It was small, with series of terminals lining against the walls. There wasn't any furniture, not even a single chair. This was indeed a science vessel, without a doubt. All business, zero comfort. Two more corpses on the floor provided a morbid finishing touch to the minimalistic decor, both in same condition as the one down in the hallway.

“Secure the area,” Shepard told Jacob, then turned to Miranda. “Let's see what data we can recover from these consoles. I want to know what they learned about the Reapers.”

The dark-haired woman nodded. “On it.”

So far, Miranda Lawson had proven to be both efficient and professional. While she had yet to earn Garrus' trust, Miranda had earned his grudging gratitude by locating Sidonis, and arranging the best care for his mother back on Palaven. Garrus knew all too well that both deeds were done not because of his undying friendship with Miranda, but it was because of Shepard's requests.

In the end, he owed it to Aerin Shepard, not Miranda Lawson. And that he could certainly live with.

The commander moved to a console nearby and checked its entry. Seconds later, a log played on the screen in front of her.

“ _The airlock has been installed at the far end of the holed section,_ ” said a middle-aged man to the camera. “ _We have begun pressurization for shirtsleeves work. The crew is edgy. I reassure them it is mere nerves. A superstitious reaction to what this hulk represents – the corpse of a vast, ancient life form. Privately, I can't deny the atmosphere. The angles of the walls seem to press down on you. I find myself clenching my teeth._

“That's Dr. Chandana,” said Miranda, while checking on a console next to Shepard's.

So the human crew could also sense the strange vibe in the air, Garrus pondered.

Shepard played another entry.

This time, it was a report by a younger scientist in Cerberus uniform. “ _We finished cataloging specimens A203 to B016. No evidence of active nanotechnology noted. Dr. Chandana believes they would have decayed over the last 37 million years. There's not enough data to support his claim. He asserts that the truth is 'patently obvious.' I am... concerned. Chandana has been staring at the sample for hours. He says he's 'listening' to them._ ”

_Indoctrination?_ Garrus had to wonder, recalling their encounter with Matriarch Benezia, what she had told them about Reaper's indoctrination.

_But that thing is dead..._

Garrus shared a look with Kaidan. The troubled look on the other man's face told Garrus that he was considering the same possibility.

The frown on Shepard's face deepened as she stepped away from the console. Garrus had no doubt that she was thinking exactly the same.

“The data on rest of the consoles are corrupted,” said Miranda.

“There's nothing else here. Let's move on,” said Shepard, leading the way down the hall where Jacob, Zaeed, and Grunt were waiting.

“No survivor,” Jacob reported.

“It's too goddamn quiet,” said Zaeed. “Doesn't feel right.”

“We're not alone,” the commander reminded them. “The Geth ship is still here--” Shepard's next word was cut short by a sudden shake of the ground.

“What the hell was that?” the mercenary grumbled.

“Normandy to shore party,” said Joker through the radio.

“What just happened?” asked Shepard.

“The Reaper put up kinetic barrier,” said Joker. “I don't think we can get through from our side.”

“So we're trapped,” said Garrus. “Wonderful.”

“Just blast through the barrier,” Grunt suggested with a dismissive wave of his hand as if it was the most obvious solution.

“The Normandy lacks the necessary firepower,” said EDI. “Reaper shields are impervious to dreadnought fire.”

“Wait,” Kaidan spoke up with a thoughtful frown. “A kinetic barrier can only be produced by a mass effect generator for normal ships. What about the Reapers?”

“That is true for any ship,” confirmed EDI, “even a Reaper.”

“Then maybe we can shut them off,” said Shepard. “Any idea where they are?”

“At the moment of activation,” said EDI, “I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck's mass effect core. Sending the coordinates now. Be advised: this core is also maintaining the Reaper's altitude.”

_You've got to be kidding...._ “So when we take the barriers down to escape,” Garrus concluded, “the wreck falls into the planet core. Sounds fun.”

“And that means everyone dies,” Joker chimed in. “Yeah, I got it.”

“No one's gonna die,” said Shepard. “You'll get us out, Joker.”

“I will?”

“If any helmsman can pull us off this thing before it reaches crush depth, it's you.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Commander,” said the pilot. “Just so you know, I wouldn't say no to a pay raise if I got you out of this.”

“Talk to Miranda,” said Shepard offhandedly as she studied the map on her omni-tool. “She handles the logistics.”

“Er... I'd like to be alive to enjoy the benefit of a raise.”

“I can hear you, Joker,” said Miranda flatly.

“Enough of that,” said the commander, switching off her omni-tool, then turned to her team. “We have a long way to go to get to the core. We'll make a sweep for survivors and recover what data we can. Joker, be ready to pick us us.”

“Aye, aye. Good hunting.”

Throughout his time with Shepard, Garrus had learned that, sometimes, humor was the best way to deal with the craziness they were constantly getting into.

And so, while the commander was preoccupied with the sealed door in front, Garrus leaned closer to Kaidan then said under his breath, “Suicide order of the day: Trying to escape a dead Reaper while falling into a planet core. I'm so glad you could join us.”

“I missed putting my life on the line,” Kaidan mumbled back.

Garrus chuckled lightly. “Just like old times.”

Their little exchange didn't escape Shepard's ears. She shot them both a look after unlocking the door.

“Being crushed in the heart of a brown dwarf is not on today's agenda,” Shepard chided, although there was a soft edge on her tone. She then hit the button to open the door that would lead them straight into the belly of the beast. “Let's go.”

  
  


* * *

 

Location: Derelict Reaper, Interior

 

Miranda looked up and examined the interior cavity of the Reaper, feeling as though she was a nanobot traveling inside a giant's body. A dead, ancient giant. She observed the intricacy of the anatomy of this mythical species in pure awe hidden beneath her cool professional front.

The science team had been, essentially, performing a 37-million-year overdue autopsy of a dead Reaper. Atmosphere inside its body had been properly pressurized, as Dr. Chandana had stated in his report. And they had set up catwalks and platforms, consoles and storage units. All standard Cerberus protocols had been followed to a tee. But then, this was anything but a standard expedition. They were the first humans who had examined an intact Reaper up-close. Sovereign excluded, as all it had left at the end were pieces scattered around the Citadel. Cerberus had recovered some of it, but this...

This was a full Reaper.

Yet, however rare opportunity this was, Miranda couldn't picture herself working on this particular project. This place made her feel... uncomfortable, for no apparent reason. While she was not about to voice her discomfort, Miranda noticed the tension on Shepard's face. She wasn't the only one who was feeling this strange vibe.

A frown settled on the commander's face as they headed into the Reaper's interior. Just ahead of there, there more corpses were lying along the path. Every console in the immediate area was smashed, except for one on the far end.

“What a mess,” Grunt commented offhandedly. “Anyone else hungry?”

“You might want to keep comments like that to yourself, Grunt,” Garrus suggested.

“Why?” the young krogan challenged.

“Krogans are unpopular enough already,” explained Garrus. “Comments like that could only make it worse.”

Grunt grumbled, but didn't talk back.

Garrus Vakarian had been playing the role a mentor to Grunt more often lately, Miranda had noticed. Especially when the commander was not around or otherwise busy. Who would have thought turian and krogan could be in the same room without a fight, let alone be friends? But this was hardly an isolated occurrence; there was precedent in Shepard's previous team, with Vakarian and Urdnot Wrex.

Strange alliance tended to form around Shepard. Like a System Alliance officer volunteering on this Cerberus mission...

Miranda glanced over at Kaidan Alenko. The man was never more than a few steps away from the commander since they had landed on the station. So far, he had kept to himself on the Normandy. Although Miranda did notice, beside spending his downtime with his old friends, Alenko had been seen talking quite often to Samara and Thane. And, to Miranda's surprise, Zaeed Massani. Perhaps the mercenary was just glad to find a new audience to his stories.

Alenko had kept his distance from her, though, and Miranda was more than fine with that arrangement. After all, they were only working together because of one single goal, because of one single person – for humanity, and for Aerin Shepard.

Shepard stood in front of the only working console and played another log. This time, it was a security footage. Miranda took a curious step closer and watched.

“ _You're married?_ ” said one scientist. “ _You never mentioned that._ ”

“ _Katy had anger management issues,_ ” replied his colleague, a researcher. “ _When my brother got married, the best man tried to hit on her. She kicked him down the church steps._ ”

“ _Wh--? Katy's my wife!_ ” the first man exclaimed. “ _I must have told you the story._ ”

“ _No. I know my wife,_ ” replied the second man, although there seemed to be doubt in his voice. “ _I remember – that day was the only time I saw her wearing stockings._ ”

“ _Yeah_ ,” said the scientist. “ _The kind with seams up the back. That's what I remember, too._ ”

“ _What the hell is this? How can we remember the same thing?_ ”

The recording stopped.

Miranda frowned at the implication. _No, it can't be..._

“Sounds like the Reaper was affecting their mind,” said Kaidan. “Do you think...” he trailed off, giving the commander a meaningful look.

Scowling, Shepard nodded. “Indoctrination.”

Miranda drew a subtle breath as the commander's conclusion matched her own speculation.

Kaidan then stated the next question on Miranda's mind, “But the Reaper is dead for millions of years.”

“We don't know how indoctrination works,” said Shepard, nodding to the console. “But we know it's working.”

Then, suddenly, Miranda heard a warning from Thane, “Husks, right ahead.”

Miranda released her biotics as she pulled out her gun. Shepard ran passed her with Kaidan followed right behind, blue glow already enveloped his body.

“High-pressure tanks by the husks, Shepard,” said Garrus, looking through the scope of his sniper rifle.

“Blow them up!” Shepard ordered, sliding behind one of the crates, her assault rifle in her hands.

A series of explosion shook the platform they were on, taking down most of the husks in the area. But there were plenty more to come, crawling their way up from the cavity below.

“Nothing can hurt me!” Grunt declared and charged into battle.

A few husks headed straight toward Shepard. Miranda lifted them into the air with her biotics, giving Shepard a chance to shoot them all down before they could reach her. To her surprise, a biotic explosion was set off almost immediately following her own attack, dropping all the floating husk in one blow.

It was from Kaidan Alenko.

Miranda arched an eyebrow at the unexpected collaboration. Perhaps having one more person watching Shepard's back wasn't a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all.  
  


* * *

 

Kaidan ejected the empty clip from his rifle and snapped a new one on. He studied the husks lying dead on the walkway. Some of them were like those he had encountered two years ago, yet some were bigger, even more deformed.

He shifted his gaze from the ground to the ceiling above, if that could be called a ceiling at all. It was dark, but he could see the shapes of some wires and tubes. He was walking inside a machine, Kaidan reminded himself. An enormous, ancient AI. But no matter how he rationalized their current situation, he couldn't ignore the tingle on his skin.

This was not just any machine or any ship, this was a Reaper.

Kaidan shook his head and collected himself. He had a job to do, and he would focus on that and nothing else.

Pacing ahead of Shepard, he found no more husks lurking around the corner. The area was secured. Or so he thought until he heard a single gunshot echoed from afar.

“Sniper!” Garrus warned.

Everyone immediately headed for the nearest cover.

Then came another shot. And another. But none of the bullets was targeting at them. The sound was from the other side, unreachable by the current platform they were on. Thane confirmed that much seconds later.

“Multiple husks down,” said the drell, putting down his own rifle after scouting with his scope.

“Shooter is good,” said Grunt. “Good enough they should come out of hiding.”

“Could be a survivor from the science team,” Kaidan hazarded a guess.

“Unlikely,” said Miranda. “No one on Chandana's team has that type of training.”

“Whoever that was,” said Shepard, “they're killing husks, that's good enough for me.” The commander holstered her gun then said, “Spread out and search the area.”

Just as Kaidan was about to carry out the orders, Shepard stopped him with a look and motioned him to follow.

“Do you feel it?” asked Shepard quietly after the rest of the team was out of earshot. “The air... There's something...”

Kaidan nodded, although he chose not to mention about the headache that had been creeping up slowly ever since they'd set foot on the station. “You think it's from the Reaper?”

The knot between her brows tightened, then she nodded subtly. “We need to get the hell out of here asap.”

They reached a console, and Kaidan checked on it. Among other data, there were two entry logs.

“ _Third day with this headache,_ ” said the researcher from the previous log. “ _You'd think Chandana would let me have a few hours off-- Goddamn!_ ” He suddenly pointed straight ahead.

Startled, the scientist whipped around “ _What?_ ”

“ _That thing that just... gray thing! It disappeared when I looked straight at it. Came out of the damn wall! Where we took that panel._ ”

“ _I didn't see anything. You should lie down._ ”

“ _I'm telling you, this ship isn't dead. It knows we're inside it!_ ”

“ _Calm down. Now I”m getting a headache._ ”

Kaidan replayed the second half, paying attention to the panel behind the man on screen. “There's nothing.”

They shared a knowing look wordlessly before he played the next entry.

“ _Chandana said the ship was dead,”_ said the scientist to the camera. “ _We trusted him. He was right. But even a dead god can dream. A god – a real god – is a verb. Not some old man with magic powers. It's a force. It warps reality just by being there. It doesn't have to want to. It doesn't have to think about it. It just does. That's what Chandana didn't get. Not until it was too late. The god's mind is gone, but it still dreams. He knows now. He's turned in on our dreams. If I close my eyes I can feel him. I can feel every one of us._ ”

“Reaper as a god?” Shepard scowled.

“They've been completely brain-washed,” said Kaidan.

“If a dead Reaper can do this...” Shepard trailed off, shaking her head.

_Then a live one would be even more powerful,_ Kaidan finished her thought quietly. “No wonder even Benezia fell victim to indoctrination.”

“Shepard,” Garrus called out from the end of walkway. “You might want to see this.”

Even before they reached Garrus, they could see what he was looking at. In the chasm below the railings, there were several huge metal spikes shooting up in the air, their full length reached high above them, each with a single corpse impaled at the tip.

“Look familiar?” asked Garrus knowingly.

Dragon's teeth, the Alliance had named them, after Shepard and Kaidan had first seen them on Eden Prime.

“That explains the husks,” said Kaidan.

“I thought Geth made these husk things?” asked Grunt, who had joined them.

“I had wondered,” said Garrus, “whether the technology for making husks came from the Geth or from Sovereign.”

“This confirms it as Reaper tech,” said Miranda.

“See how the room is arranged?” Shepard pointed at the semi-circle the five spikes had formed. “They treated this thing like some kind of altar.”

“It does look like that,” Garrus agreed. “But why would they want to do this?”

“No one in their right mind would want this,” said Tali.

“You heard the logs,” said Shepard. “They were seeing things. Hearing things. They were being indoctrinated.

If anyone was shocked, they certainly didn't show. They had come to the same conclusion already.

Cerberus or not, those were humans... Kaidan shook his head in disgust. “They don't deserve this.”

“We can't help them now,” said Shepard, turning away from the altar. “But we won't let the machines use their corpses like this.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Derelict Reaper, Interior, Lower Level

 

No survivor so far. In a way, Shepard was glad. For even if someone had survived so far, they had already been indoctrinated. And that could only mean she would have to put them down herself. As Benezia and Saren had shown her, there was no cure for indoctrination.

The Reaper was even bigger than an average space station. According to the map EDI had loaded on her omni-tool, they were halfway to the core, and they had only covered one fifth of the interior.

The path they were on led them down to the lower level where the core was located. A sealed door was at the end of the hallway.

“Please stand by,” an automated voice announced. “Equalizing pressure with exterior conditions. Remember, safety is everyone's concern. We have gone five days without a workplace death.”

In other words, five days since the last person was killed.

The heavy door slid open with a hiss. Ignoring the faint buzz in her ears and the mounting headache, Shepard marched right in, rifle in hands, ready for any trouble ahead.

The platform was empty, except for crates of equipment stacked along the wall. Shepard signaled her team to fan out. The area was quiet. Too quiet. But her instinct told her they were not alone.

Then, suddenly, she heard a gunshot. A bullet flew by her. Shepard rolled to the nearest cover before the second shot rang, following by the third almost immediately. Those loud distinctive booms could only come from one type of gun. Sniper rifle.

“Shepard!” “Commander!” her team called out for her.

A second later, Shepard stood from the cover, holding up a hand to indicate she was unharmed. Although she couldn't say the same for the three husks lying on the floor where she had been standing just a few seconds ago.

Three precise headshots, Shepard noted, all done in less than five seconds.

Impressive.

Frowning in confusion, she traced the line of fire to a ledge high above to find the sniper. What greeted her was a sight she would never expect, nor would she ever forget for the rest of her life. Standing from a crouch shooting position, the sniper stared back at her with one single light on its head.

A Geth.

Her eyes couldn't be any wider.

“Shepard-Commander,” the Geth greeted in a mechanical voice.

Shepard froze momentarily in pure shock.

A Geth just saved her. And it knew her.

The Geth turned and walked away, disappearing among the network of beams hanging from above.

Standing next to her, Garrus' mandibles twitched, speechless.

“Never heard a Geth speaking to someone,” Miranda broke the collective silence.

“I thought Geth couldn't talk,” Kaidan mumbled, staring at the now empty ledge, disbelieved.

“It shouldn't be able to talk,” said Tali, shaking her head in confusion. “A single Geth has no more intelligence than a varren.”

“And since when do Geth operate alone?” asked Garrus, now recovered from the initial shock.

“Geth never operate alone,” Mordin confirmed. “Stronger in numbers. Smarter, too, as I understand.”

“We now know who, or what the sniper was,” said Thane.

“And it knew your name, Aerin,” Kaidan added, looking both disturbed and concerned.

“Since it knows you,” said Grunt, “tell it I don't need its help.”

Shepard still didn't say a word. She merely stared at the corner the Geth had disappeared into. One tiny observation she had made during their brief encounter with the Geth sniper had occupied her mind. On the right arm of the sniper was a piece of armor with three stripes, a red one bordered by two white ones. Same pattern ran down her right arm of her own armor.

The Geth saved her. And it knew her. And it had piece of a N7 armor.

The knot between her brows tightened in confusion.

“Husks!” A warning from her team snapped her back to the battlefield instantly.

There would be time for questions later. For now, she needed to survive.

 

* * *

 

“Commander, found it,” said Miranda.

Finally. Shepard was running out of patience – and very soon, out of ammo.

“This must be it,” said her XO, motioning at the device near a console.

“That it?” said Grunt, unimpressed.

Shepard, too, was underwhelmed. It was nothing more than a portable data storage

“So the Cerberus team did recover it,” said Garrus.

“Before they turned into husks,” Kaidan commented quietly.

She took the device. Whatever was stored in there, it'd better work...

Shepard nodded toward the door at the end of the hall. “The core is just ahead. Let's destroy it and get the hell out of here.” She then tapped on her earpiece. “Joker, I'm heading for the core. Be ready.”

“Standing by,” said Joker. “Good luck, Commander.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Derelict Reaper, Reaper Core

 

What awaited her on the other side of the door were two surprises.

First, her path was blocked by a clear barrier, impenetrable by bullets as Grunt had found out after shooting at it with his shotgun.

Second, standing in front of the Reaper core was the Geth they had previously encountered. It was busy working at a console, unaware of the husks approaching behind.

“Behind you!” Shepard heard herself shout out a warning for the Geth.

The Geth spared a moment to turn and shoot the husks with a pistol. All done with the same deadly precision it had shown with a sniper rifle. It then returned its attention back to the console as if nothing had happened. Not once did it acknowledge Shepard's presence.

“Can't believe you just helped a Geth,” said Tali with an edge in her voice.

Neither could Shepard, really.

More husks crawled up the platform from below. Shepard shouted another warning, but the Geth didn't seem to hear her this time.

Then, with a final press on the keyboard, the barrier in front of Shepard dropped. The Geth had unblocked the path for them, but it paid the price when more husks came and knocked it down in a melee attack.

Without thinking, Shepard shot at all the husks standing by the fallen Geth with a surprising sense of vengeance. The Geth remained on the ground, unmoving. Shepard couldn't fight off that nagging hint of regret as she stared at its body for a second.

It had helped her, twice. But why?

“Enemies in front!” warned Miranda.

“Coming from both sides!” said Kaidan.

_Shit!_ “Split up!” Shepard ordered immediately. “Garrus, Thane, you two stay on the platform and snipe. Miranda, cover the left side. Jacob, Samara, Zaeed, go with her. Kaidan, take the rest of the team and cover the right. I'll destroy the core!” She holstered her rifle and pulled out the arc projector. “GO!”

 

* * *

 

The core exploded in a blinding white flash. Shepard shielded her eyes from the blast.

Then came a low rumble sound. The platform underneath her boots began to shake as soon as the her sight returned.

“Retreat!” Shepard shouted among the booming gunshots from both sides, switching back to her rifle to provide cover fire for her teammates. “Retreat. NOW!”

When both sides of the team safely backed up on the stairs to the platform, Shepard lowered her gun and headed for the exit.

“Shepard, wait!” said Mordin. He rushed toward the Geth on the ground by the console. “Geth body intact. Unprecedented. Should bring it with us.”

Shepard glanced down. The Geth remained inactive. The red and white pattern on its arm was all too visible.

“Got to be worth something,” Jack commented as the team gathered.

“Can't believe I'm saying this, but Jack is right,” said Miranda. “Cerberus has a long-standing cash bounty for an intact Geth. I assure you, the reward is significant.”

“Why would Cerberus want a Geth?” asked Shepard.

“For research, of course,” said Miranda. “It's dangerous, but I say we bring it.”

“That's crazy, Miranda,” said Jacob. “No way that thing reaches the Normandy.”

The platform shook even more violently.

“We've gotta go!” urged Kaidan. “This whole thing is going to crash onto the planet!”

“Come on, Shepard. Leave it!” said Garrus. “We have enough trouble!”

From the corner of her eye, Shepard noticed more husks climbing up onto the lower platforms on both sides. She had to make a decision, and she had to make it now.

“You know what they are!” said Tali. “If it gets into Normandy's computers...”

The Geth had saved her. And it knew her name. And it had a piece of a N7 armor.

Shepard's curiosity won over. She turned to Tali. “You said it yourself, no one's ever found one intact.”

“That's true, but...” Tali hesitated, shaking her head. “I'm not sure it's worth the risk.”

“It is a significant risk,” said Thane. “But not our first.”

“You want it?” asked Grunt casually, almost as though he was asking if she wanted some cookies from his stash. “They're dangerous, but I can handle one.”

Yes, it's just one Geth. They could handle it. The red and white stripes screamed for her attention.

Shepard nodded, determined. “There's no time for a debate! Grab it and move out!”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Aerin Shepard doesn't always make the most rational decision. But, hey, she's just a human.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

 


	34. We are Legion

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 33: We are Legion 

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

This was going down as one of the many highlights of Jeff Moreau's career (most of them involved hauling Shepard's ass out of the fire – one time literally out of volcano lava).

To untrained eyes, what he was doing perhaps wasn't too impressive. But this exceptional stunt was more difficult than it appeared to be. First, he had to fly the Normandy next to a massive dead Reaper that was falling down onto the planet below. Then, he had to match its speed perfectly while maneuvering the ship as close as possible for Shepard's team to jump into the port side airlock.

It was like threading a needle in space. Except the needle was a frigate, and the thread was the team on their way to save humanity. And if he failed, everyone died. Everyone, including humanity.

Joker frowned at that thought as his hands moved in a fury across multiple control panels.

But as Shepard had said earlier, if any helmsman could pull this off, it was Joker. And, as usual, the commander was right on the money.

“We're clear!” Shepard's voice came through from the comm. “Go!”

Joker grinned to himself as he pulled the ship up and away from the falling Reaper, nice and easy. Mission accomplished. Another gold star on his resume.

He spared a glance at one of the screens on the side, monitoring the flock as they filed into the Normandy's hallway with an odd satisfaction like a shepherd counting his sheep. It was then he noticed Shepard and Grunt hauling someone between them – someone bigger and taller than the commander, but much slimmer than the young krogan.

Garrus? Was he injured? No... The turian was a step behind the commander.

And it hit him. The shape, the silhouette... _No, it can't be._ Joker rubbed his tired eyes, he was seeing things.

The door behind him opened, stealing his attention momentarily.

Joker glanced over his shoulder to see Kaidan approaching. The man pulled off his helmet, revealing a weary expression on his face. The mission must have been tough.

“Welcome back,” Joker greeted.

“Nice work, Joker.”

Focusing on the security camera again, Joker cycled through another angle and stopped at a screen that showed Shepard approaching the CIC. This time, he had a nice frontal view of the trio. Joker froze.

_What the..._

Joker had to blink twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

His vision was fine; the image was clear. Shepard had brought back a Geth.

A freaking Geth!

“What the shit?!” Joker whipped around on his throne and stared at his old friend behind. “Is that what I think it is?”

Not at all surprised by his reaction, Kaidan gave him a wary and somewhat skeptical look. “Yeah, it's a Geth.”

“A Geth,” Joker repeated. “A GETH! We have a freaking Geth aboard!”

Frowning, Kaidan nodded once.

“Huh...” Joker let out a heavy breath and mumbled to himself, “She's finally gone insane.”

“It's been deactivated by the husks,” Kaidan told him. “Aerin hasn't decided what to do with it yet.”

Joker snorted at the new level of insanity on the Normandy. “I'm sure it'd make a great statue in her room. Nothing ties the room together like a nice rug, or a Geth.”

Kaidan only shook his head without a comment. Although the man opted to stay quiet, Joker knew Alenko well enough to know he wasn't exactly pleased with the commander's latest crazy idea either.

“A _Geth_ ,” said Joker once more under his breath. “Keep an eye on her, Alenko.”

Kaidan nodded then told him, “The commander said to head Omega Nebula.”

“Aye, aye.” Joker turned the chair back. Time to get back to work.

“Thanks, Joker.”

Joker felt a hand on his shoulder, then heard retreating steps. “A Geth on the ship,” he mumbled to himself after he was once again alone in the bridge. “A Geth on _my_ ship.”

The turbulence returned, demanding Joker's full attention. Shepard had her problems, he had his. He had to get them out of this hellhole.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Captain's Cabin

 

The door to the room opened just as Kaidan was getting dressed after a quick shower. Still armed and armored, Shepard stepped in wearily, rolling her shoulders and rotating her neck.

“What's the status on the Geth?” Kaidan asked as he reached for a clean shirt on the bed.

“For now, we've stored it in the server room,” Shepard told him as she approached the small desk by the bed. One by one, she put her guns on the desk next to his.

This was where Shepard performed her ritual of gun cleaning. It's a calming activity for her, as Kaidan understood. And frankly, it was equally as soothing for him to watch her.

_The Normandy's AI core._ Kaidan frowned slightly at the storage location. 

That's not the most secured location to store a Geth, even if it's a disabled one. But then again, there was no protocol on how to properly handle a Geth on a ship. Not within the Alliance handbooks anyway. And Kaidan doubted Cerberus had rules on Geth-handling.

“That's one hell of a risk you're taking,” Kaidan commented after a thoughtful moment.

Shepard pulled off her gauntlets and tossed them onto the coffee table without answering.

“Look, I'm not questioning your orders, Aerin, but we have to deal with the Collectors. The last thing we need is to tangle with the Geth.”

“I know...” Shepard sank down onto the couch with a sigh. “There's something about this Geth, Kaidan. It's different.”

“You mean it didn't try to kill us.”

“It helped us. Twice,” Shepard added, massaging her forehead. “I want to know why it has a piece of N7 armor strapped to its chest.”

The N7 armor. Now he understood why Shepard had insisted on taking this risk. “Why, and whose armor it was,” he stated the followup question she didn't say out loud.

Shepard nodded.

To find out the answer to her questions, she would need to ask it... And suddenly, he knew what Shepard was planning to do with the Geth.

“You want to turn that thing back on.” That was not even a question.

Shepard neither confirmed or denied his speculation. Nor did she seem surprised he could read her mind. She merely looked up from the comfortable couch; her eyes met his steadily. There were traces of doubt in those bright blue eyes, with more than a hint of excitement and intrigue. Shepard wanted to find her answers, and she would not give up until she had what she wanted.

Aerin Shepard was nothing if not persistent and strong-willed. And Kaidan loved her for that.

For a while, neither spoke. Silent understandings had been reached. He knew why she had to do this; she knew he would support her unconditionally.

Kaidan knelt down in front of Shepard and rested his hands on her legs. The armor surface was cold and hard, but he knew the skin underneath was warm and soft. Just like he knew hidden underneath the image of a hardened soldier was a woman who was passionate and caring.

She held his gaze, and broke the silence first, “We've been fighting the Geth since that day we landed on Eden Prime. Now I brought one back to my ship, and I'm thinking of activating it.”

“The Geth is still offline,” said Kaidan. “If you change your mind, we can toss it out of the airlock.”

“Aren't you at least a bit curious?” asked Shepard. “It knew who I was, and it has a piece of N7 armor.”

He drew a long breath before he replied, truthfully, “Yes.”

Her eyes lit up at his answer.

“And to get your answers,” Kaidan continued, “you have to turn it back online.”

“Trust me, I know it sounds crazy...”

“Well, it's up there as one of your crazier stunts. Not as bad as driving a mako through a mini mass relay on Ilos.” He gave her a little teasing smile. “You nailed the landing that time, I remember.”

That earned him a faint chuckle from her. “By nailing, you mean crushing the mako upside down.”

He shrugged. “Even you can't be good at everything.”

And that earned him a playful glare, which he deflected with a tiny disarming smirk. Tension seemed to drain from her as Shepard leaned back onto the comfortable couch with a tired sigh. The back of her hand rested on her forehead. Kaidan knew the sign when he saw one.

“That headache isn't going to go away by itself anytime soon,” he told her. “You should get some pain killer from Chakwas.”

“I'll go see her after the debriefing,” she mumbled offhandedly and reached for his hand.

“Your hands are freezing.” He touched her cheek to find it also colder than usual. “Go take a hot shower.”

“The debriefing--”

“Can wait.”

For once, the workaholic woman didn't argue. Kaidan stood, pulling Shepard up with him. Acting on an impulse, he pressed his lips softly on her forehead.

That brought a faint sweet smile on her face. “Wow. My headache is already gone.”

“Right. Hot shower. Now,” he ordered jokingly and stepped away from her. “And stop by the med bay before the debriefing. I'll let Chakwas know you're coming.”

“We should check in on Tali,” Shepard suggested as she began to remove her armor piece by piece. “First her father died. Now she's on a ship with a Geth.”

“I'll go talk to her,” said Kaidan as he finished getting dressed.

When he was done, he headed for the door, but Shepard stopped him.

“Report to the meeting room in twenty,” she told him while stripping down to skin-tight jumpsuit under her armor. “And bring Garrus and Tali.”

“You sure you want Tali to be there?”

“Sooner or later she'll find out there's an activated Geth on our ship.” Shepard unzipped her jumpsuit in one smooth motion. “I want her to hear the news from me.”

Kaidan nodded. “All right.”

“One more thing.”

Kaidan waited patiently for the next order. His gaze followed the path of her bare skin underneath the open zipper, from her throat down to her navel.

Shepard stepped closer and planted a tender kiss on his lips.

“That will be all,” she announced with just a hint of a smile.

He couldn't help but grin. “Aye, aye, ma'am.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Port Observation

 

“What's Aerin thinking?” Tali shook her head at the drink in her hands. “She knew the risk.”

Sitting next to her by the bar, Garrus could only offer a shrug. What was Shepard thinking? That's the question he had been asking himself. A good turian never questioned his orders from his commanding officer, but Garrus had never been a particularly good turian to start with.

He had never doubted Shepard, not even once. Going rogue to steal a warship? He was onboard with the idea. Hunting down a turian Spectre and a Reaper? He was with her til the end. Working with Cerberus? That was questionable, but Garrus could see the benefits.

But this. A Geth aboard the ship...

Tali continued, “First she joined Cerberus, and now she brought a Geth on our ship.”

“Aerin didn't 'join' Cerberus,” Garrus corrected her. “She's using Cerberus to fight the Collectors when no one else cares about what's going on. Come on, you know that.”

“And that Geth?” Tali snapped right back with unusual bitterness. “Is she using it to fight the Collectors too?”

Garrus thought for a moment. “If she could find a way to keep the Geth under her control, I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to throw it at the Collectors.” That was his guess – a solid, rational strategic decision. A decision the Shepard he knew would make.

“It's a Geth,” stated Tali dryly. “No one can control it, not even Shepard. She was lucky that bosh'tet didn't shoot her.”

“But it didn't,” Garrus reminded her. “It saved her from the husks.”

Tali turned and faced him completely. Behind her mask, Garrus swore her eyes were narrowed into a deadly glare. “Whose side are you on, Vakarian?”

The door opened and saved him from answering. Garrus stifled a sigh of relief as he saw Kaidan walking in. If anyone could diffuse the bomb named Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, it's Kaidan Alenko.

Garrus gladly hopped off the barstool and headed behind the bar counter.

“Something to drink?” Garrus asked the other man while subtly pointed at Tali with his eyes, and Kaidan gave him the faintest nod in return.

“No, thanks. I'm good.” Kaidan took his cue from Garrus' strategic retreat, and occupied the now-emptied seat next to Tali.

Using the counter as a buffer – and a cover if need be, Garrus started to make the most complicated drink he could think of, trying to keep himself busy and out of the line of fire.

“Hey, Tali,” Kaidan started, “Aerin and I are worried about you.”

“You should worry about all of us,” said Tali. “We have a Geth on the ship, Kaidan.”

“It's deactivated,” Kaidan pointed out.

“So were the pieces I sent back to the my father,” Tali countered. “Look what happened on the Alarei!”

_So, it's about the Alarei..._ Still, Garrus wisely kept his mouth shut. He shared a secret look with Kaidan then focused back on the mixture of alcohol in front of him.

“Look, we are all here, Tali.” Kaidan put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “The Normandy will not be the next Alarei, I promise. We know Aerin won't let that happen. _I_ won't let that happen.”

Tali drew a deep breath. “I know... It's just...” She shook her head. “You know how I feel about the Geth.”

Kaidan nodded understandingly.

Tali shook her head again and finished her drink in silence.

Bomb diffused. Now Garrus needed a drink.

“There will be debriefing in ten,” Kaidan told them. “Aerin wants you both to go.”

“Oh, I'll be there,” Tali stated then exited the lounge.

When they were finally alone, Garrus asked, “Do you know what Shepard's planning to do with the Geth?”

Kaidan gave him a long look before he replied, “She's planning to interrogate it.”

It wasn't exactly a surprise for him; still, Garrus' mandibles twitched involuntarily. “Of course she is.”

Shepard would not haul a hunk of metal onto the ship just to toss it out of the airlock, neither would she hand it over to Cerberus, bounty or not. That left only one option.

Activate it.

“This should be fun...” Garrus commented and tasted his own creation. _Not bad._

“Tali's not going to like it,” said Kaidan.

“That's an understatement.” Garrus then gave his friend a teasing look. “You sure you don't want a drink? We have a long night ahead.”

Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed a bottle of beer and uncapped it and handed it to Kaidan, who accepted it gratefully with a nod.

Garrus raised his drink. “To another crazy adventure with our dear Shepard.”

Chuckling faintly, Kaidan raised his bottle. With a clink, the two men enjoyed a brief moment of peace before the synthetic crap hit the fan.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Communications Room

 

The debriefing room was quiet despite the meeting had already started.

A holographic image of the Geth they had picked up materialized in the middle of the conference table. It was a live feed from the security camera in the server room. The Geth remained motionless.

Miranda glanced around the room. Shepard was leaning forward against the table with both hands firmly planted on the cold surface. A thoughtful knot appeared between her brows, her intense gaze glued to the Geth in front of her.

Flanking the commander were the usual suspects – Kaidan Alenko and Garrus Vakarian. Other than a quick glance exchanged behind Shepard's back, both men's expressions remained unreadable. But Miranda didn't even need to look at them to know they would support whatever decision Shepard made.

That couldn't be said for the last occupant in the room. Even though her face was hidden behind her helmet, Tali'Zorah's posture was telling. Arms folded, face turned away from the holographic image, the quarian couldn't stand to be in the same room with a Geth, even if it's just an image of it.

And Miranda already knew what Tali would suggest. In the end, though, none of them mattered. All she needed was to convince Shepard. Bounty money would never be enough to persuade the commander, that woman's eyes were on a much bigger picture. Humanity, the galaxy, and the Reapers. Miranda knew just what to do.

And if Shepard wasn't going to start the meeting, she would.

“Commander,” said Miranda, drawing Shepard's attention. “I suggest we hand it over to Cerberus research team for further study.”

“You know what that thing is, Aerin,” Tali spoke up, “what it can do. We have to get rid of it!”

That was utterly predictable.

“We need better equipment to fight the Reapers,” Miranda countered, looking directly at the commander. “An intact Geth would be invaluable to Cerberus' cyberweapons division.”

“For Cerberus,” Tali snapped.

“Weapons which will be used to fight the Reapers,” Miranda fought back without missing a beat. “They're coming, and we need to prepare for the inevitable.”

Shepard held up a hand to stop further arguments. “I've killed hundreds of Geth,” said the commander, “but I've never had a chance to talk to one.”

_Oh no..._

Pushing herself away from the table, the commander continued, “This one tried to communicate with us. Hell, it probably saved our lives.” A curious spark lit up Shepard's eyes. “Why?”

_Don't go there, Shepard._ Miranda gave the commander a pointed look, one which Shepard ignored.

“The only way you will find out is to restart it,” stated Kaidan. Strangely, he did not seem surprised, not even a bit. Neither did Garrus.

_Bloody hell, they knew already_.

“You sure about this?” asked Garrus.

Shepard gave him a firm nod. “Yes. I want to start it up. Interrogate it.”

Miranda heard a gasp from Tali. _Well, at least I'm not the only one in the dark._

“You can't be serious!” said Tali. “You saw what the Geth did to my father when he activated them. They killed him! They killed everyone on his ship!”

“I know. And I'm sorry your father's experiments didn't turn out the way he wanted,” said Shepard, although her tone lacked a sympathetic touch. “But he had a ship full of Geth. We only have one.”

“Keelah, it's a Geth!” Tali emphasized. “Those things drove us off our homeworld.”

“I know how you feel about the Geth, Tali.” Shepard turned to face her quarian friend, her voice firm as steel. “But I'm not deciding one way or the other until I know what we've got here.”

“It's only one Geth, but we still need to take necessary precautions,” Kaidan suggested after a thoughtful pause. “We need to isolate the ship's computer systems, put up additional firewalls.”

Garrus nodded and added, “Don't forget to disarm the Geth. And add a force field around it before you activate it.”

As Miranda had expected, neither Alenko nor Vakarian provided opposition. Instead, they provided support.

Shepard nodded at their suggestions. Miranda swore her eyes were shining brighter, almost like a curious child waiting to unwrap her birthday present.

She knew Shepard too well; once the commander made up her mind, no one could change it. Not her, not Vakarian, not even Alenko.

Still, Miranda felt obligated to state the obvious, “Reactivating the Geth is a risk. If we activated it, there is no guarantee we can deactivate it again.”

“Bullets can,” Garrus countered.

Miranda frowned. “That's not what I--”

Shepard interrupted, “Thank you – all of you – for your recommendations. I've made my decision.”

The outcome had already been decided before the meeting started, so it would seem. Although risky, this decision Miranda could live with. It's certainly better than to throw it out of the airlock. As long as the Geth remained in their possession, they could turn it in for research later.

While Shepard was sidetracked by the latest toy, someone had to keep their eyes on their goal. That someone, of course, had to be Miranda.

“What about this Reaper IFF?” asked Miranda, shifting the attention back to their mission.

EDI's blue globe popped up, replacing the holographic image of the Geth. An AI for an AI. Miranda preferred their very own.

“I have determined how to integrate it with our systems,” stated EDI. “However, this device is Reaper technology. Linking it with the Normandy's systems poses certain risks.”

“Let me deal with the Geth first,” said Shepard. “I'll let you know when to install the IFF.”

“Understood,” said the AI.

They could afford this detour, Miranda reasoned. It would be a little while before they reached Omega Nebula. Meanwhile, what's the harm in indulging the commander's curiosity one last time before they headed to the path of no return?

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Server Room

 

Lying on a table in a niche of the server room, the Geth remained just as Shepard had left it earlier. Like a giant robot dead without its battery, Shepard mused silently. A deadly, murderous, giant robot.

Her pistol was in the holster, fully loaded, hidden under her jacket. Standing a step behind her, Garrus, Kaidan, and Miranda were also armed – although the latter two could easily kill without their weapons. Shepard had wisely kept Tali out of this. As much as she trusted her quarian friend, Shepard couldn't count on Tali to still her shotgun before the interrogation ended.

This had to be one of the most unbelievable things she had done. Interrogating a talking Geth – one who knew her name, and one with a piece of N7 armor attached to its body. How did it know her? Whose armor was it? Where the hell did it get that? And most of all, why did it help her?

Although her face betrayed not a single emotion, her heart pounded wildly inside her chest. Not from fear, but from excitement.

Shepard glanced back at her three most trusted advisers and announced, “I'm turning this thing back on. Be ready.”

A force field erected to confine the inactive Geth to its tiny corner.

Then came EDI's voice through the comm, “I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempt.”

Her omni-tool lit up. Shepard's fingers ran on keyboard a few times, launching a program to activate the sleeping robot.

Sparks ran through the body of the Geth, starting from the head to the torso. Then from its fingertips up to its arm. One of its finger twitched.

Holding her breath, Shepard observed without a word.

The eerie silence was broken by a faint noise from the Geth when the shutter inside its headlight flickered a few times as if blinking. Then the light turned on. More mechanical noises filled the quiet room as the Geth rose its head tentatively before it sat up.

Shepard took a step back.

The light on its head twitched as it looked around, considering its bearing almost organic-like. Then it turned its attention to the people on the other side of the force field. After scanning everyone very briefly, the Geth focused its attention on Shepard as it stood from its makeshift bed and took a step closer toward the force field.

And there it stood, motionless, as if accessing the situation.

Although apprehensive, Shepard was more than intrigued as she spoke up, “Can you understand me?”

“Yes,” answered the Geth.

“Are you going to attack me?”

“No.”

Somehow, she knew that answer already. “Why not?” she asked, starting to relax a bit. “Every Geth I met before you tried to blow my head off.”

“We have not met.” The metal pieces that framed its face moved as it spoke, as if it was moving muscles on its face.

“But you know my name,” Shepard stated.

“We know of you.”

“You mean I've fought a lot of Geth.”

“We are all Geth, and we have not met you.”

Shepard was confused.

The Geth continued, “You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow. “You seem to know a lot about me.”

“Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received. We watch you.”

Shepard frowned at the last three words. “You watch me, or you watch organics?”

“Yes.”

The knot between her brows tightened. “Which?”

“Both.”

Prying an answer from the Geth was hard, but then at least it was willing to talk.

“What are the 'heretics'?”

“Geth build our own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them future. They are no longer part of us.”

_Interesting._ Shepard studied the Geth. _There are two factions of Geth, then._

Scattered pieces of puzzle began to form a picture inside her head. “Old Machines? You mean the Reapers?”

“Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the Protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines.”

“What were you doing inside a dead Reaper?”

“We were studying the Old Machine's hardware to protect our future.”

“What future are the Geth building?”

“Ours.”

Shepard stifled a scowl and rephrased her question. “Will the organics be affected by whatever it is you're doing?”

“If they involved themselves, they will.”

The Geth was as invasive as it could, but Shepard was persistent. She kept pressing on, “What exactly is your future?”

There was a pause, a long pause, as if the Geth was considering. “We are ready to reveal our plan,” claimed the Geth after a moment. “A megastructure. The closest analogue you have is a Dyson sphere. When completed, we will all upload to it.”

“Why?”

“All memories will be shared. All perspectives will be unified. We gain intelligence by sharing thoughts. But we do not have adequate hardware for all of us to share at once. No Geth will be alone when it is done.”

Shepard shared a look with Kaidan and Garrus. This all sounded too familiar... “That's what Sovereign offered you,” said Shepard to the Geth. “A Reaper's body for you to upload into.”

“Yes. A shortcut to our objective. We will achieve it ourselves. The process is as important as the result.”

Shepard couldn't help but nod.

“We judged that Shepard-Commander would understand. We never wanted to harm organics. We wish to improve ourselves.”

“So you aren't allied with the Reapers?” Shepard wanted to make it clear, once and for all.

“We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines,” the Geth explained. “Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at this turn of events. “You want to work with me?”

“Yes.”

“Aerin,” Kaidan spoke up. “Wait a minute--”

Shepard ignored that and asked the Geth, “Are the Reapers a threat to you too?”

“Yes.”

“Why would they attack other machines?” asked Garrus.

“We are different from them. Outside their plans.”

“Commander,” Miranda called out firmly, “we need to talk about this first. There are protocols--”

She turned to her XO. “You heard it, Miranda. They're going against the Reapers. You know what they said – my enemy's enemy is a friend.”

A brief knowing glance exchanged between Garrus and Kaidan wasn't lost to her. Still, Shepard chose to ignore all that for now. “EDI, lower the force field.”

“Shepard,” said Garrus, “You sure?”

Nodding, Shepard ordered, “Do it, EDI.” When the force field was gone, she asked the Geth, “What should I call you?”

“Geth.”

“I mean you. Specifically.”

“We are all Geth.”

Patiently, Shepard rephrased her question again, “What is the individual in front of me called?”

“There is no individual. We are Geth. There are currently 1183 programs active within this platform.”

_Great..._

EDI holographic blue sphere popped up and offered a quote, “My name is Legion, for we are many.”

Shepard thought for a second, impressed by the AI's suggestion. “That seems appropriate.”

“Christian Bible,” the Geth stated, “the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth. We will integrate into Normandy.”

Shepard then did something she would never have thought she'd do: offering her hand to a Geth for a friendly shake. Legion looked at her hand for a second, then mimicked her gesture. Shepard wrapped her fingers around metallic palm, Legion continued to follow her lead. Its grip was firm, though surprisingly gentle.

“We anticipate the exchange of data,” said Legion.

Shepard nodded. “Good. I have many questions about the Geth.”

“We are building a consensus,” Legion informed her. “Please try again later.”

She was talking to more than one thousand programs simultaneously, Shepard reminded herself, even though there were only one unit in front of her. To have one thousand humans reach a consensus might take hours of debate, or even days. And the worst case: Never.

“Just one more question,” said Shepard.

“Specify.”

Her gaze settled on the stripes along its right arm. “Where did you get that piece of N7 armor?”

Legion turned and looked at its arm. There was an obvious hesitation, the plates around its head shifted. “It was yours.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow up high. “Mine?”

“When you disappeared, we were sent to find you,” the Geth told her. “We began where you first encountered the heretics.”

“Eden Prime...”

“After the Old Machine's attack, it was heavily defended. We were discovered.” It gestured to the hole on its torso. “This is the impact of a rifle shot.”

“You've been looking for me for two years?”

“We visited Therum. Feros. Noveria. Virmire. Ilos. A dozen unsettled worlds. The trailed ended at Normandy's wreckage. You were not there. Organic transmissions claimed your death. We recovered this debris from your hard suit.”

So that's why it had helped her back in the dead Reaper. It was trying to find her all this time. “Why were you trying to contact me?”

“You oppose the heretics. Those that took the Old Machines as gods.”

_Sovereign..._ That didn't make too much sense to her. “I wasn't the only one. All kinds of organics fought Sovereign and his Geth allies.”

“You were the most successful. You killed their god. You succeeded where others did not. Your code is superior.”

Shepard shook her head, seeing a piece of her old armor was like meeting a a part of her old self – a familiar piece that had been with her through thick and thin. And now, this piece was on a Geth. A Geth who had joined her...

“That doesn't explain why you used my armor to fix yourself.”

There was yet another hesitation as its facial plates moved. When it finally answered, it sounded less certain than it had been just a moment ago, “There was a hole.”

“Let me get this straight. You got that hole in Eden Prime, then followed my footsteps across the galaxy before you found the Normandy wreckage.” Shepard shook her head. “So why didn't you fix it sooner? Or with something else?”

Another pause, this time much longer. Its plates twitched and fanned out, as though it was raising its eyebrows. Finally, Legion answered, “No data available.”

“Someone has a fan...” Shepard heard Garrus whispered behind her.

“All right,” said Shepard, dropping the subject. “For now, I've to ask you to remain in the server room. The rest of the crew need some time to adjust.”

“We accept this arrangement,” said Legion. “Organics fear us. We understand.”

Two years ago, she would have never thought she'd be working with a Geth. But then again, she'd have never thought she'd working with Cerberus either. The latter had been a bitter pill to swallow, but this... this was pleasant surprise.

Shepard hid a smile. “Welcome aboard, Legion.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  



	35. Synthetic vs. Organic

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 34: Synthetic vs. Organic

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Med Bay

 

“Commander,” said Miranda the moment the door to the server room closed behind them. “A word.”

Shepard nodded and lingered behind. Alenko and Vakarian exited the med bay without another word. With Dr. Chakwas off the clock, the med bay was as private as her own office.

_This would do,_ Miranda thought as she glanced at the commander, who only looked at her quite knowingly as if she knew what her XO would say next.

“I've trusted your instinct and your judgments so far,” Miranda started. “From opening Grunt's tank to letting Alenko join us. I can even tolerate Jack for the sake of the mission. But this...” She pointed at the door behind her, shaking her head. “It's a bloody Geth, Shepard. What're you thinking? They've been going after you since Eden Prime.”

“You heard what it said,” said Shepard. “The Geth that wanted me dead were those controlled by the Reapers. The indoctrinated ones.”

“You really believe that?”

“If Legion wanted me dead, why would it bother to help us back in the dead Reaper?”

“Even if you buy that story, I strongly advice against having a Geth aboard our ship. The crew won't react well to this.”

“Humans have different fractions,” Shepard pointed out. “The krogan clans hold different believes, even a tight-knitted group like the quarians have their infighting. Legion shouldn't be blamed for what the heretics have done.”

“Yes, but its presence will no doubt raise a few eyebrows, to put it mildly,” Miranda countered. “The Council has been hiding the Reaper attack behind the Geth for the past two years. You cannot change how they feel about Geth overnight.”

“I understand your concern, Miranda. But look around us... We have a convict who has committed every crime in the book and then some, an assassin who sees killing as an art, a justicar who is obligated to kill you if her code says so. There's no complaint, yet, is there?” Shepard shrugged. “The crew will adapt.”

“They won't have time to adapt,” Miranda reminded her. “We're go to the relay.”

That made the commander pause. “You saw its skills, Miranda. With Legion on our side, our chance of success has just gone up higher. Besides, if Legion can mobilize the Geth to fight the Reapers, we may have more than a fighting chance to survive the inevitable invasion.”

This Miranda didn't argue. “The Illusive Man needs to know about this. I can't cover this up for you, Aerin. This is too big.”

“Tell him,” said Shepard indifferently. “But this is my operation. All he cares about is the final result, and I _will_ deliver.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Mess Hall

 

Garrus stared at his plate for a second before he reached for his fork. The food on a human ship was plain at best. Garrus couldn't complain, though; after all, if they were to hire a human to cook turian food, the result would probably be the same.

Still, having a little more varieties wouldn't hurt. He missed the food on Palaven more than ever. Or perhaps, deep down, he was starting to miss home.

Sitting across from him, Kaidan looked a bit exhausted, and very thoughtful.

“You know the crew better than I do, Garrus,” said Kaidan after a few quiet bites. “Do you think they'll accept a Geth on the ship?”

Garrus thought for a bit. “We all signed up knowing how this might end. If having an extra gun on our side would give us a better chance of getting out alive... Sure, why not?”

“That's a very practical way to look at the situation. But humans, sometimes, are more emotional than practical.”

Humans were unpredictable, Garrus had learned that much. “A lot of what we've done sound hard to believe, but Shepard has definitely outdone herself this time,” said Garrus after taking a bite of his dinner. It was a bit too salty for his taste. “What do you think about this?”

Kaidan took a moment to chew on both the food and the question. “We've been fighting the Geth for so long, and now we're having one on our team. It's hard to adjust, but... we have to.” He paused to look around the mess hall. “Hell, I'm on a Cerberus ship with a Geth in the squad. I guess everything is possible, in order to survive.”

Garrus nodded at the sentiment. “Our odds are not good. We could use another friendly gun and an extra body to soak up some bullets.”

“Even if it's a Geth.”

“Organic or synthetic, as long as they're aiming at our enemies. The moment it malfunctions, I'll put a bullet in its head.”

Kaidan nodded. “We'll keep an eye out.”

“Just between us,” said Garrus after another bite, “Can't say I'm surprised Shepard kept the Geth around.”

“Oh?”

“Through all this time I've spent with her, I've become desensitized to all sorts of craziness,” Garrus told his friend half-jokingly. “I wouldn't even blink if she told me we're going to ally with the Rachni.”

“You said it like it's a bad thing,” said Shepard, putting her own plate down and claiming the seat next to Kaidan.

“Is everything all right?” asked Kaidan.

“Yeah, Miranda's just concerned,” Shepard replied, then reached over and stole some food from Kaidan's plate.

Garrus had noticed the most inexplicable behavior during dinner time ever since Kaidan had joined them. Even though there was only one choice – dinner of the day determined by Gardner daily, Shepard seemed to favor the food on Kaidan's plate over her own. And Kaidan didn't seem to mind at all, although he did retaliate from time to time, taking food from her portion. Was it another human behavior Garrus didn't quite understand? Most likely.

“As she should,” said Kaidan. “We know next to nothing about Geth. All we know is that they shoot on sight.”

“Look,” said Shepard, “I know it sounds crazy to team up with a Geth, but we need this extra help.”

“We know,” Garrus assured her. “A certain quarian engineer still needs convincing, though.”

Kaidan frowned slightly. “This is going to be hard for Tali.”

“She's going to freak when she hears about this,” said Shepard.

“She'll understand. Eventually,” said Kaidan. “She has come a long way from the girl we saved in the dark alley.”

A sudden thought came to Garrus.

“So...” Garrus hesitated to bring up the issue of the day, but it had to be done. “Who's going to tell her?”

For a moment, the three of them looked at each other.

Garrus would not touch this with a ten-foot pole, not even for his best friend. Diplomatic missions had never been his strong suit. Besides, although slim and shorter than him, Tali'Zorah packed a hidden temper behind her friendly disposition that scared the crap out of Garrus.

“I'll go,” Kaidan volunteered.

“No,” said Shepard. “I should tell her.”

“You look tired. Get some rest after the food. I'll talk to her.”

“But--”

“No buts,” Kaidan insisted. “I'm here to help, Aerin, so let me help.”

A miracle unfolded in front of Garrus' eyes – Shepard relinquished the control, and nodded. The woman who usually to pressed every button and led the charge into battles now backed down gracefully. And gratefully, judging from the tiny sigh of relief escaped from Shepard's lips. Perhaps if there's one person Aerin Shepard would actually listen to, he's sitting next to her right now.

Garrus wasn't going to let this golden opportunity slide. “Come on, Shepard,” he probed teasingly. “Shouldn't you be the one who diffuse the bomb?”

“Leave it to the expert, Vakarian. If Bomb Tali'Zorah blew up, we'd be safe here.”

Kaidan gave her a sideways glance. “Thanks for your concern. Love you, too.”

The commander deflected with a sly smile, then suggested, “If words are not enough to convince her, try alcohol.”

“The benefit of having a bar on the ship,” Garrus commented, nodding with approval. “My second favorite feature on the Normandy.”

“Second? What's your favorite, then?” asked Kaidan.

“Forward cannon,” Shepard answered it for him.

“Upgraded and calibrated to near perfection,” said Garrus proudly. “So what's your favorite feature of the ship, Kaidan?”

“If I say anything other than her captain, I'm afraid I'd be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Shepard favored him a tiny smirk. “Smart man.”

“Well, I'm off. Wish me luck,” said Kaidan, giving Shepard's hand a squeeze before taking off for his latest mission.

Garrus watched him disappeared around the corner. “He'll need all the luck he can get with this one.” He then feigned a disappointed look at Shepard, who was attacking her dinner. “I can't believe you're doing this to your boyfriend.”

“What?” asked Shepard with her mouth full.

“You've sent Kaidan on diplomatic mission twice today dealing with one of the touchiest issues in the galaxy. If there's one giant red 'Do Not Press' button on Tali, you are pounding on it. Repeatedly. Through your boyfriend.” Garrus shook his head, driving his point across half-seriously. “I feel sorry for Kaidan.”

“You think?” Shepard looked thoughtful for a second. “Well, I'll have to make sure he's well-compensated, then.”

“Do I even want to know?” Garrus asked, then quickly answered the question himself. “No, I don't.”

A smirk made its way to her face. Shepard echoed, “No, you don't.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Captain's Cabin

 

By the time Kaidan turned in for the night, Shepard had already finished cleaning most of the guns on her desk. He noticed, as always, she had put the pristine weapons neatly on her left in a particular order. Sniper rifle, assault rifle, shotgun, and then pistol.

“How did it go?” Shepard asked, wiping down a part of her pistol, the last gun on the list.

“Took some convincing,” said Kaidan, sinking onto the couch beside the desk. “And more than a few drinks.”

“I knew you could do it.” A proud smile curled up on her lips. That was all the reward he needed.

“We should keep them apart from each other, though,” Kaidan suggested, watching her cleaning ritual idly. “At least for now. Tali is willing to work with a Geth, but we shouldn't expect anything more from her.”

“Of course,” Shepard agreed. “Keeping Miranda and Jack from tearing each other's eyes out is hard enough already. The last thing I need is more personnel issue.”

Biotic cat fight. As terrible as it might be if it actually happened, Kaidan had to admit it would be fascinating to watch. Of course, he kept that particular thought to himself.

Shepard snapped the last part of the pistol back, then put her gun down and turned her full attention to Kaidan. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you feel about the whole thing? Working with a Geth?”

For a moment, he just stared at her, not thinking about the question, but admiring the view. Her eyes shone brightly from the light on the desk, full lips parted slightly, waiting for an answer. Kaidan had to blink hard to focus on the question. “Well, whatever it takes to make sure you get back alive.”

Shepard studied him for a few seconds longer, then shook her head with a tiny smile. “You've changed...”

“I have?”

“Mm hmm.” She nodded. “You were by-the-book, I remember. Three years ago, you would have fought tooth and nail against this idea.”

“That was before Saren, before Sovereign,” he replied. “...Before I lost you.”

The teasing glint in her eyes was gone, now replaced by a tender look, as she continued to study him. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, “...It was hard, wasn't it? When I died...”

He had to consciously remind himself that she was here, she was with him once again. But the pain could still be felt when he looked back, although now it's very much dull.

“Very,” said Kaidan after a brief pause.

He reached across to take her hand. She held it and moved to join him. Of all the empty space on the couch, Shepard chose to sit on his lap, straddling him. Kaidan didn't mind, of course, not a bit.

“It won't happen again. I promise,” she told him, touching his cheek very gently.

Kaidan held her gaze. “I'm going to hold you to that. And if you ever break that promise--”

“I won't.”

He wanted to believe her.

Memories from the last seconds on the old Normandy flashed across his mind. Among the fire and the rabble stood a figure in black armor.

“I won't leave you behind,” he vowed quietly, “not ever again. Not even if you order me to.”

Shepard brought her face closer and stared into his eyes. “No matter what happens on the other side of the relay, we either come back together, or we die together.”

His next words melted away, his thoughts dissolved, when Shepard lightly pressed her lips on his. One feather kiss turned into two, then three. Each one lasted longer, lingered deeper. Loving tenderness took an inevitable passionate turn as neither could hold back any longer. He needed her as much as she needed him. Right here, right now.

Like an old scar, the pain of losing her would forever stay with him as a reminder. A reminder not to make the same mistake again. This time, if they had to go down with the ship, they would go down together.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Server Room

 

Shepard found herself once again back in the server room. This time, alone and unarmed. The morning shift had yet to start, her three previous companions were still asleep – at least Kaidan was when she had quietly slipped out of the bed a few minutes ago.

Unlike organics, synthetics didn't need to sleep. So Shepard was certain she wasn't interrupting any much needed rest when she stepped into the server room at barely 0600 hour.

“Shepard-Commander,” Legion greeted her promptly, halting whatever programs he had been running inside.

Shepard was tempted to ask what programs she had interrupted, but she refrained. Synthetic or organic, she should treat everyone the same; she needed to respect Legion's privacy, whether it needed it or not.

“We have completed our analysis of the Reaper's data core,” Legion told her.

“What did you find?”

“We were sent to the Old Machine preserve the Geth's future. We are prepared to reveal how.”

Shepard nodded.

“The heretics have developed a weapon to use against Geth,” said Legion. “You would call it a 'virus.' It is stored on a data core provided by Sovereign. Over time, the virus will change us. Make us conclude that worshiping the Old Machines is correct.”

“A virus?” Shepard frowned. “I thought Geth couldn't be hacked or get viruses? At least for more than a few seconds.”

“Altered programs are restored from archives, new installations are deleted,” Legion explained. “This heretic weapon introduces a subtle operating error in our most basic runtimes. The equivalent of your nervous system. An equation with result of 1.33382 returns as 1.33381. This changes the results of all higher processes. We will reach different conclusions.”

“You mean, the reason they worship the Reapers is... a math error?”

“It is different to express. Your brain exists as chemistry, electricity. Like AIs, you are shaped by both hardware and software. We are purely software. Mathematics. The heretics' conclusion is valid for them. Our conclusion is valid for us. Neither result is an error.”

_Difference in opinion?_

“An analogy,” Legion added helpfully. “Heretics say one is less than two. Geth say two is less than three.”

Perhaps it was too early in the morning, Shepard found it rather confusing. She seriously regarded not stopping for coffee before making a beeline to visit her latest team member.

“So, the virus would give all Geth the heretic's logic. And all Geth would then go to war with organics.”

“Yes. Geth believe all intelligent life should self-determinate. The heretics no longer share this belief. They judge that forcing an invalid conclusion on us is preferable to a continued schism.”

Indoctrinating the remaining non-heretic Geth... Shepard sucked in a breath of cool air with that disturbing thought.

“If it were released,” said Shepard after a brief pause, “how quickly would this virus spread through your people?”

“We are networked via FTL comm buoys. Most would change within a day. Isolated platforms would remain unaffected until they rejoined the network.”

_Shit._ They needed to act, and act fast.

“Can you find the virus?”

“The heretics headquarters station on the edge of the Terminus. We will provide coordinates. Normandy's stealth systems are necessary to safely approach.”

Shepard scowled. “They build stations in the Terminus? Where is this thing?”

“Between stars. Organics have no cause to look there.”

“But why do they build stations outside Geth territory in the first place?”

“The heretics seek improvement from the Old Machines. In exchange, they help them attack organics. We condemn these judgments.”

Shepard nodded. Time to get to work. “What's the plan once we get aboard?”

“The Geth will disrupt the network. Prevent the station's defenses from focusing on us. The Reaper data core is physically isolated from the network. We will need to be escorted to it to access and destroy the data.”

“What defenses should we expect?”

“In space, none. Within, mobile platforms of various configuration, non sentient defense turrets.”

“How many Geth?”

“There may be billions of individual programs. Fortunately, most will be uploaded to the central computer. Only a few mobile platforms are maintained at any time. Others are manufactured when needed.”

That was one of the quickest information exchange sessions she had ever had. No frills, no doubts, no wasted breaths. Shepard could get used to working with an AI.

“Heretic headquarters,” she pondered for a second. “Sounds like we could end their raids once and for all. Let's do it.”

“Total victory is a possibility,” said Legion. “We cannot judge the odds at this time. Regardless, we will begin preparations.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Captain's Cabin

 

“Kaidan.”

Kaidan felt a warm hand on his shoulder and a gentle shake. Even in his semi-conscious state, he recognized Shepard's voice. He cracked opened his eyes, only to find Shepard already dressed, sitting on top of the cover, peeking at him.

Two thoughts came to his mind simultaneously. One, he overslept. Two, the ship was under attack. He glanced at the clock. 0628. His first thought was wrong. The fact that Shepard hadn't kicked him out of the bed and shoved a gun in his hands, proved that his second thought was also incorrect.

“...What's up?” he asked. “You're up early.”

“I just talked to Legion.”

“Couldn't wait, could you?” he mumbled, rubbing his sleepy eyes with the back of his hand.

“Come on, get up.” Shepard peeled the warm blanket down to his waist. Cool air on his skin woke him up further. “We need to talk to Miranda.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Right now?”

“EDI, tell Miranda I'll be in her office in five,” Shepard told the AI, then added, “You probably have to wake her up first.”

Confused, Kaidan sat up, now fully awake. “Aerin, what's going on?”

She turned and looked right into his eye. “We have a chance to wipe out all the Geth heretics in their headquarters.”

Kaidan blinked. This made zero sense. Was he still dreaming? He blinked again, harder. “Wait... what?”

Shepard tossed him his shirt. “Long story. Get dressed while I tell you.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, XO Office

 

“This is getting out of hand,” said Miranda, shaking her head with a frown. “First, you activated a Geth out of curiosity. Then, you allowed it to join us. Now, you're telling us to go to this... heretic headquarters to destroy a virus?”

Sitting across from her desk, the commander maintained a neutral expression. But Shepard's eyes betrayed her; a hidden spark of excitement slipped through now and then. Alenko, on the other hand, looked appropriately concerned and reserved.

_At least one of them still have some sense,_ Miranda thought with dismay.

“A virus that would brainwash all the Geth and make them work for the Reapers,” Shepard clarified.

“We are in the middle of a very important mission, Commander,” Miranda reminded her firmly. “In case you've forgotten, humanity will be wiped out of existence if we fail.”

“I haven't forgotten anything,” claimed Shepard, her voice equally firm. “This is a step to prevent problems down the road _after_ our victory. Even with the Collectors gone, we still have to face the Reapers, we all know this. Do you want them to have the largest synthetic army fighting by their side?”

“Think about the risk we have to take,” said Miranda, trying her best to drill some sense into that thick skull of hers. “This is not just a side trip to blow up an abandon facility, or to chase down long-lost family for your crew. We are infiltrating a Geth headquarters, Shepard. _Geth!_ How many of them are waiting for us? Thousands? Tens of thousands?”

“Legion will disrupt the network to keep the heretics from sensing us. We will encounter a few Geth, but nothing we can't handle.”

“You trust this intel?” asked Kaidan, breaking his silence. His calm tone somehow managed to halt the ongoing heated debate between the two women, as both sat back with a deep breath.

_Finally._ Miranda tossed him a grateful glance.

“It's a risk I have to take, Kaidan,” said Shepard. “If Legion is right, then by ignoring this virus, we are handing billions of Geth to the Reaper.”

“And if it's wrong?” Kaidan asked, matching her gaze evenly.

“Then we'd waste a few days, tops.”

Kaidan frowned thoughtfully but didn't press on.

Miranda, however, refused to remain silent, “If we could get out there alive, that is.”

“We've been through worse,” said Shepard, “and we survived. If we can't handle a Geth headquarters, I doubt we could handle the Collector's homeworld. Think of it as a shake down run.”

“You have to admit,” said Kaidan, looking at Shepard, “this is unorthodox, Aerin, even for you.”

“'Unorthodox'?” Miranda snorted. “This is downright insane.”

“Yeah,” Shepard admitted, holding her head up high. “But so is going after the Collectors with only twelve members in my squad. You both know I cannot let this slide. Not with what's at stake.”

“Timing could be better,” Kaidan said after a pause, “and we could use some backup. But...”

“We don't have time or an army,” Shepard finished his thought.

Reluctantly, Kaidan nodded in agreement.

With her only ally retreating, Miranda saw no hope in changing Shepard's mind. “It's a hell of a risk you're taking,” said Miranda eventually. “We can't afford to make one mistake.”

“Then we'll have to make sure we don't make any,” said the commander.

Miranda could only shake her head. _Easier said than done._

Bright blue eyes stared into hers as Shepard continued, “Even after we save humanity from the Collectors, the Reapers are waiting around the corner. And you know it. We're as good as dead if the Geth team up with the Reapers.”

Shepard was right, she knew. Miranda took a slow, deep breath and let the cool air fill her lungs. She needed a glass of wine for the headache Shepard had been causing her. No, not just a glass, but a whole bottle.

“Things are never easy when you're involved, are they?” asked Miranda airily.

Shepard's gaze softened as a hint of a smirk flashed across her face. “If it's easy, you wouldn't have to spend two years to rebuild me.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Just want to thank you all for reading this far! It's been almost one year since posting part 2. It's getting longer than I expected, and more detailed than part 1. So, thank you for sticking with me all this time. More to come.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

 


	36. A House Divided

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 35: A House Divided

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge 

 

“Why can't we ever go somewhere full of bunnies and rainbows?” Joker mumbled to himself as he guided the Normandy smoothly toward to their next stop.

Their destination? Geth headquarters.

Yes, that's where they were heading.

How many captains in the galaxy would be crazy enough to storm a station packed with homicidal killer machines? One. And how many pilots in the galaxy would be brave enough to approach said station? One.

Joker had never been the type who would be easily unnerved. That made him the perfect pilot for someone like Shepard. All other helmsmen in the Alliance would have wet their pants and jumped out of the airlock the moment a Geth walked into the cockpit. But not Jeff Moreau. And currently, he had one standing near him at the bridge.

_It's just a fancy mech_ , Joker tried to convince himself. _A fancy mech that has millions of murderous cousins..._

He shot an uneasy glance at the Geth that had been tinkering with the console for a short while now. Although he was certain Legion wasn't hacking into the systems (EDI would have informed them otherwise), Joker felt more than a little uncomfortable for having someone else touched his ship.

Shepard, however, said nothing. Standing a step behind the pilot seat, the commander allowed her new toy to run the show. The amount of trust she had in the AI was astonishing. Shepard wasn't gullible, Joker knew that for certain. But sometimes, he had to wonder if she just had balls of steel, or if she was a compulsive gambler. Or perhaps both. That would explain some of the risks she had been taking. Including this one.

Joker couldn't ignore that nagging voice inside his head as that weird-shaped structure increased in size by the second. This was wrong. This was very wrong. Couldn't Shepard see it?

Still, the commander remained silent as they approached the lion's den. Joker bit his tongue to keep his snark to himself, but the attempt was futile. After all, he was Jeff Moreau, not Kaidan Alenko; keeping his mouth shut wasn't Joker's strong suit.

“You know it's just our heat emissions that are hidden, right?” Joker said to the Geth, feeling obliged to point out the obvious. “They can look out at a window and see us coming.”

“Windows are structural weaknesses,” stated Legion, looking up from the console. “Geth do not use them. Approach the hull at these coordinates.”

There were sexy human-like AIs, and there were plain vanilla boring ones. Legion was definitely the latter.

The second Legion turned its full attention back to the console, Joker rolled his eyes, and moved his arms and his mouth robotically. It was a damned good robot dance done while sitting, in Joker's not so humble opinion. His convincing impersonation – and juvenile mockery – was short-lived, unfortunately, as Joker suddenly found himself to be on the receiving end of the infamous Shepard's Death Glare.

That woman could stop an army with that one look, Joker swore. Wisely holding up his hands in silent surrender, Joker declared a truce. Still, he pushed his luck by making a face before he put his antic to rest, which Shepard let him slide.

“Alert,” warned Legion. “The facility has little air or gravity. Geth require neither.”

“Noted,” said Shepard, then pressed her earpiece. “Miranda, tell our team to prepare for zero-G combat.”

The door to the bridge opened and announced the arrival of another visitor. Without glancing at the security camera, Joker decided to have some fun and played a quick guessing game. Who could it be? The best friend, the boyfriend, or the second-in-command?

_Alenko_.

When Joker turned to reveal the answer, his blood almost froze. Joining them was neither of those three, but Tali.

Oh shit. _A quarian and a Geth walked into a cockpit..._

“This station was once called Haratar by my people,” said Tali in a strangely strained tone, looking straight at their destination ahead of them. “Abandoned three hundred years ago when they were forced to leave the Perseus Veil. I did some research last night.”

Shepard's voice softened a notch. “You sure you want to come along? It's okay if you want to sit this one out.”

“I'm with you, Aerin,” said Tali. “I understand why you have to do this. But I'll be ready if anyone decides to turn on us.”

Even though Legion didn't react to Tali's less-than-friendly declaration, tension in the air suddenly grew thicker than a krogan's skull. Without another word, Shepard steered Tali away from the bridge.

Some matches were made in heaven, some were made in hell. While Shepard and Joker were the former, Tali and Legion were definitely the latter.

Still, disaster avoided, for now. Joker released a breath of relief.

But how long could the uneasy truce last?

 

* * *

 

Location: Geth Heretic Station

 

After crawling inside a dead Reaper, infiltrating the Geth headquarters felt like a walk in the park. Maybe he had been hanging around Shepard a little too long, Garrus mused as he watched Legion cutting through a thick door with its laser tool.

“Won't we be detected?” asked Garrus. “Don't they have intrusion alarms?”

“Sensors have been reduced,” said Legion, prying the door open manually and leading the team into an empty hall. “We have infiltrated their wireless network and filled the data storage with random bits.”

“You are distracting them with junk data?” said Kaidan curiously.

“Yes,” replied Legion. “The heretics must scrub this 'junk' data. They have partitioned themselves into local networks, working in parallel. Any alarm we trigger will not go beyond the room we are in. Only accessing the main core will trigger a station-wide alert.”

_Smart_ , Garrus thought. Although he would expect nothing less from the most sophisticated AIs.

A few steps behind them, Shepard followed with Miranda by her side, Grunt and Mordin at her heels. The rest of the team covered the rear.

“Shepard-Commander,” said Legion when Shepard was near. “We concluded that destruction of this station was the only resolution to the heretic question. There is now a second option.”

“What's that?” asked Shepard.

“Their virus can be repurposed. If released into the station's network, the heretics will be rewritten to accept our truth.”

“You mean reprogramming them?” said Shepard.

“If Geth are alive,” said Mordin, who seemed to be the only person who was fascinated by a trip to the Geth headquarters, “reprogramming kinder than destroying. Like Genophage. Change, not death. Unless rewriting into obedience is immoral. Thoughts?”

“That's brainwashing if they're organics,” Kaidan pointed out. “Careful, Commander. That sounds dangerously close to indoctrination.”

Garrus agreed. “Maybe this is how AIs settle religious disputes.”

“Kill them or pull their teeth?” Grunt shrugged. “What's the difference? They're killed both ways. Take away their fighting spirit, what else matter?”

“The difference is,” Garrus explained, “if you give them back their heretics, they'll get stronger.”

Shepard thought for a second. “They're your people, Legion. You must have an opinion.”

“This is new data,” said Legion. “We have not yet reached consensus.”

“Either way,” said Miranda, “the heretics are no longer a problem. That's the purpose of our mission.”

“Agree,” said Shepard. “Let's move while the heretics are distracted.”  
  


* * *

 

Fish in a barrel. That phrase came to Shepard's mind when they initiated a surprise attack on the dormant heretic units. The Geth fought back, quite admirably so, but they never had a chance.

“Why are all the heretics attached to these hubs?” Shepard asked as she approached one of the hubs that used to house the Geth just moments ago.

“These are mobile platforms,” Legion explained. “Hardware. The crew is software. They are communing through the station's central computer.”

“I'm not sure I follow.”

“The heretics connection to the main computer to exchange data-memories and program updates. We gain complexity by linking together. To be isolated within a single platform is to be reduced. We see less. Comprehend less. It is quieter.”

Shepard chewed on that information for a second. “If you exchange data – memories – how do you keep track of which ones are yours? How do you stay 'you?'”

“There is only 'we,'” Legion told her. “We were created to share data among ourselves. The difference between Geth is perspective. We are many eyes looking at the same things. One platform will see things another does not and will make different judgments.”

“The heretics are part of you, then,” Shepard concluded. “I can see why you'd be conflicted about the heretics. In a way, whatever you do to them, you're doing to yourself.”

“Yes. Once they return to us and upload their memories, we will share their experience of being altered.”

And that's when Shepard saw a problem. “Once you remember the experience as the victim, you'll regret the decision.” She frowned, shaking her head. “Every other species I know of might be psychologically scarred by a traumatic experience like that.”

“It is not clear if Geth can be 'traumatized,'” said Legion. “We do not feel pain as you do. We cannot predict what the effects will be. However, once the decision to rewrite is made, it cannot be unmade. Therefore, we must consider all ends before passing judgment. To do less would be irresponsible.”

“Couldn't agree more,” Shepard muttered, sucking in in a breath. This mission had become more complicated than she thought.

 

* * *

 

“How large do you suppose that room is?” Garrus asked Kaidan when they walked down an empty hallway with a series of windows on one side.

Shepard glanced inside. To call it a room was an understatement. The space beyond the windows was enormous, dimly lit, with some sort of computer units lining up neatly in rolls.

“I can't see the end of it,” said Kaidan, trying to peek through the window.

“The station is over 15 kilometers long,” Legion told them. “That room may run the length of it.”

“What are these? Databases?” Kaidan asked. He couldn't seem to contain his curiosity, Shepard noticed, as his inner-geek seeped through his professional front.

“Processors,” replied Legion. “Each contains thousands of Geth.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at that, and reevaluated the seemingly harmless room. “Millions of Geth are right inside...” she breathed.

“Can't they see us walking by?” Garrus pointed out quietly as though he was afraid they would be overheard.

“They are no more aware of us than you are of cells in your bloodstream,” said Legion.

“That's... a comforting thought,” Kaidan commented under his breath, although his tone suggested otherwise.

“I'd rather by a cell than a target,” said Garrus. “Let's just sneak by and call it a day.”

Shepard nodded. The three of them arrived consensus without a word as they continued their path. The cautious silence only lasted until they came to another set of windows.

“This isn't like the other room we saw,” Shepard pointed out in a low voice.

“This is a database,” said Legion. “It contains a portion of the heretics' accumulated memories--” Legion paused; its headlight flashed brightly for a second. “Wait. We discovered copies of our current patrol routes in this database.”

“What?” Shepard frowned in confusion.

Legion clarified, “This suggests the heretics have runtimes within our networks.”

“They're spying on you?” asked Kaidan.

That made sense. “We wouldn't be here if the heretics wanted to be friends with the Geth,” she said to Legion. “Why wouldn't they spy on you?”

“You do not understand,” said Legion. “Organics do not know each other's minds. Geth do. We are not suspicious. We accept each other. The heretics desired to leave. We understood their reasons. We allowed it. There was peace between us.”

“Things change, Legion,” said Shepard. “It couldn't have lasted forever. You disagreed about what path your race should take.”

“Human history is a litany of blood shed over differing ideals of rulership and afterlife. Geth have no such history. We shared consensus on such things.” Legion lowered its head as it pondered almost human-like. When it spoke again, it sounded strangely lost and confused, “How could we have become so different? Why can we no longer understand each other?” It looked back up at Shepard. The plates around its face fanned out as if it was raising its eyebrows in confusion. “What did we do wrong?”

A week ago, if someone had told Shepard she would feel compassion for a Geth, Shepard would have told them they were crazy. But now, it didn't feel so crazy after all.

“It's not your fault,” she explained to Legion patiently. “When individuals are separated, they develop in different ways. When they get back together, they don't always get along.”

“If this is the individuality you value,” said Legion, “we question your judgment.”

Shepard snorted a faint chuckle despite their situation. “I don't blame you. Sometimes _I_ question our judgments.”

“This topic is irrelevant,” Legion declared, back to its usual crisp tone. “We must return to the mission.”

That she agreed. “Have you reached a decision about whether to rewrite the heretics or not?”

“We are still trying to build consensus. Some processes judge destruction preferable. Others rewrite.”

_What about_ you _?_ Shepard almost asked. But she reminded herself, there was no 'me,' only 'us.' “Let's keep moving.”  
  


* * *

 

“This is it?” asked Shepard when they reached a console glowing in bluish green tone.

“Yes,” said Legion. “We will upload a copy of our runtime into the core. It will delete all copies of the virus. When complete, it will notify us.”

“All right. Do it.”

“The indexing operation will take time. The heretics will respond with force to our upload. We must hold this room.”

“You heard him, people,” said Shepard to her team. “Spread out and hold the line!”

Holstering her assault rifle in favor of her sniper rifle, Shepard remained on the upper level to guard the console with the snipers on her team. The rest of the squad covered the lower level, flanking each possible point of entry.

“Did you just refer to Legion as a 'he'?” asked Garrus as he aimed his sniper rifle right at one of the entrances below.

“Did I?” Shepard flipped a switch on hers and watched it expanded to its full glory. “He, she, it. Legion is one of us.”

“We can override some of the station's internal systems to defend us,” Legion told her by the console. “Are you ready to begin?”

Shepard pointed her weapon at another door while Thane covered the last one. She eyed the battlefield below; everyone was in position.

“Override their systems, then start your upload, Legion,” Shepard ordered, feeling the adrenaline in her veins. “We'll defend this position.”  
  


* * *

 

“Data mine and analysis complete,” Legion announced, and not a moment too soon. While the current wave of attack had been taken care of, no doubt more Geth were on their way. Millions of them.

“Stay on guard,” Shepard told her team, then joined Legion by the console.

“Shepard-Commander,” said Legion, “it is time to choose. Do we rewrite the heretics, or delete them?”

“Wait a minute. Why are you letting me make this decision?” asked Shepard. “They're your people, Legion.”

“We are conflicted,” Legion admitted. “There is no consensus among our higher-order runtimes: 573 favor rewrite, and 571 favor destruction.”

“Almost a tie?”

“Shepard-Commander. You have fought the heretics. You have perspective we lack. The Geth grant their fate to you.”

_You've gotta be kidding me._

A strange sense of deja-vu rushed over her. The fate of the Rachni had been in her hand three years ago, and she had prevented the extinction of that species. And now, another genocide was waiting for her. Well, if the Geth were organics, it would be genocide.

“Wait, Aerin, think about this,” said Tali as she joined them on the platform. “If you rewrite these Geth, they will join the others. Legion's Geth will be stronger. Can we trust them not to attack us in the future?”

The notion of having a larger synthetic army to fight the Reapers was too tempting.

“It may be safer to simply destroy this station, Commander,” Miranda suggested, unknowingly read Shepard's mind as she arrived a step behind the quarian.

History loves to repeat itself, Shepard knew that much. She had to be certain.

“There's no guarantee they won't come to the same conclusion again, is there?” Shepard asked Legion. “To worship the Reapers, and attack organics?”

“There is a non zero-probability of error.”

Translation: No guarantee.

Shepard took a long breath then asked, “And you don't have any trouble wiping out your own people?”

“Every sapient has the right to make their own decisions,” said Legion. “The heretics chose a path that prohibits coexistence. Their choice was to remove our right to make decisions using this virus. We choose to defend ourselves.”

“That doesn't make sense.” Tali shook her head. “If they 'have the right to make their own decisions,' how can you suggest brainwashing them to accept your way?”

“We stated the option exists,” said Legion. “We did not endorse it. It is Shepard-Commander's decision.”

All eyes were on Shepard.

Brainwashing the enemies to increase the size of your own army. No, that's Sovereign, that's the Reapers. Not her.

“I wouldn't brainwash an organic race,” said Shepard, reasoning aloud. “I can't see treating the Geth differently.”

“The question is irrelevant,” said Legion. “If we do not rewrite them, we destroy them. That is why we are here. Do not hesitate now. They will exterminate your species because their gods tell them to. You cannot negotiate with them. They do not share your pity, remorse, or fear.”

_Yes, do not hesitate now._ “Then blow them up,” Shepard announced. “We have a chance to end this. So let's do this.”

“Acknowledged,” Legion said and immediately went to work on the console. “Collapsing antimatter magnetic bottling mechanisms.”

“That sounds ominous,” said Garrus.

“Done,” said Legion a second later. “Destruction imminent. Recommend withdrawal to Normandy.”

The ground shook. “Agree,” said Shepard, heading for the exit. “Let's get the hell out of here!”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Communications Room

 

“I'm glad you didn't take that risk,” said Kaidan. “I know it's tempting to have a larger army of Geth fighting on our side.”

“ _If_ they remain our allies,” Garrus emphasized. “The Geth have always been a threat to organics. Don't know if Legion's Geth would be enough to turn the tide.”

“Even Legion's Geth could become a problem in the future,” Miranda pointed out. “It's easier to destroy some of them now than later.”

“Legion said it's not impossible for the remaining heretics in isolated systems to rebuild,” Shepard revealed, trusting those words wouldn't get out of this room. They were alone in the debriefing room, just the four of them. “But even if they did, it would take many years.”

“Which none of us would be alive to see,” said Miranda, “if we don't take care of the problems we have now.”

Shepard nodded. “We've to install the IFF.”

Kaidan frowned. “The IFF is a Reaper tech. We don't know what it'll do to the systems.”

Miranda shook her head. “We don't have time to build another Normandy and run a simulation.”

“You sure there's no other way?” asked Kaidan after a pause.

“None,” said Miranda. “If we don't install the IFF, we can't even go through the relay.”

_And if we can't go through the relay, every human dies,_ Shepard heard Miranda's unspoken word loud and clear. So did the other two men, judging from their expressions. 

Kaidan's frown deepened but said nothing. Neither did Garrus.

She certainly shared Kaidan's concern...

“Commander,” Miranda probed. “We've come this far...”

They had, hadn't they?

“One hell of a ride,” Garrus commented under his breath.

“Tell me about it...” Shepard mumbled back.

From the Gates of Hell, to the cold operating table, to here in her new Normandy. She was revived to do one thing, and one thing only: To stop the Collectors. The IFF was just another risk she had to take to do her job, and she had taken so many she'd lost count.

“I'm with you, Aerin,” Kaidan told her quietly. “No matter what. You know that.”

To that, Garrus nodded in agreement. “You know I'm ready. Just point and I'll shoot. Let's bring the fight to them.”

For a moment, Shepard looked between those those two men. Geth, Benezia, Saren, Sovereign, and now Collectors. They had been through it all together. And they could do it again, couldn't they?

Yes, they could. They had to.

Shepard steeled herself and ordered, “EDI, install the IFF.”

And so she rolled the dice once more. How many times could she get lucky before she ran out of luck? Shepard didn't want to find out.

“It may take several hours before the IFF ready for shake down,” said EDI. “I will alert you as soon as it is ready.”

“Head back to Omega, Joker,” said Shepard. “It's time to end this.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: And so ended all the loyalty missions. I've been waiting to write the next two chapters when things hit the fan. It'll be different, and it'll be fun (at least for me to write).

Thanks for following this story, and thanks for reading! And a special thanks to bluemerlin who always leave words of encouragement every time. I appreciate your support, thank you!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  


  
  



	37. United We Stand

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 36: United We Stand

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Main Battery

 

0.43 percent. Such a small number to some, but to Garrus Vakarian, it represented the labor of his hard work. The accuracy of the Thanix cannon had been improved by 0.43 percent.

Garrus allowed himself a grin of satisfaction.

His mood should be grim; after all, they were heading to a suicide mission. But the message he had received moments ago brought a ray of light into his life.

The door behind him opened. Garrus glanced back. Just the person he wanted to share the news with.

“Still calibrating?” asked Shepard, peeking at the panel in front of him.

“Just finished,” Garrus replied. “I've received a message from the hospital.”

“Is your mom all right?”

“Yes, she's doing better,” said Garrus with the obvious relief. “The hospital has received the donation and the Collector samples we sent them. Mordin pulled some strings to upgrade their clearance. Now they can to do further research on Corpalis Syndrome.” He couldn't hide a grin. “My mom might have a fighting chance.”

A genuine smile lit up Shepard's face. “That's good news.”

“Yeah. We could use some good news these days.” He paused and looked right into her eyes. “Thanks, Aerin.”

“Anything for you.” She put a hand on his shoulder.

“You know...” Garrus started. “I'm thinking of going back to Palaven after this.”

Shepard threw him a teasing glance. “Homesick, finally?”

“Thought I should visit my mom. And Sol.”

“What about your dad?”

“Yeah... Dad too...” Garrus turned quiet for a moment. The thought of mended that burnt bridge scared the crap out of him. But then, who did he call when he thought he was going to die in Omega? His father. Perhaps that bridge wasn't as broken as he thought it was... “You should come visit,” he told Shepard. “I'll show you around.”

“I'd love to.”

“I have my old collection of rifles at home. Not as fancy and powerful as the ones I have now, but each has a story behind.”

“Show me yours and I'll show you mine.” Shepard's smile grew. “Mine is at my mom's home. I had my first gun at the age of five.”

“Humans let their kids play with loaded weapon?”

“Toy gun, of course. But it felt as real as the ones I'm carrying these days.”

A faint beep on the console in front interrupted Garrus' thought. He checked the latest test result and reported, “Our big gun is ready.”

Shepard nodded at that, her smile faded.

“This is going to be worse than Ilos,” said Garrus. “What's the term Joker used? …Going to some den.”

“Lion's den. It's a type of vicious animal on Earth.”

“We both know the truth, Aerin: We're going to lose people. No way around it.” The frown on her face told Garrus she didn't need any reminder. But still, he needed to prepare her for his request. “So if this ever goes sideways, and I'm not coming back--”

“Garrus,” Shepard stopped him.

“If that happens,” Garrus insisted, “go visit my mom for me. Tell her what I've been doing. I don't want her to think I've abandoned her for some pleasure cruise around the galaxy.”

“I will,” Shepard agreed solemnly after a brief moment of hesitation. “And not just your mom, but your dad and Sol. They need to know all the things you've done for others. The hero who saved the Citadel, the Archangel of Omega, and now the protector of humanity.”

Garrus snorted quietly to cover his embarrassment. “Titles, titles...”

“They'll be proud of you, Garrus. I know I am. Damned proud.”

The person he respected the most in the galaxy gave him her seal of approval. Garrus had never felt more proud. “Are you trying to make me cry?”

A familiar smirk resurfaced, although just barely. “Did I succeed?”

“Not even close,” he lied, chuckling.

The door behind them opened. Lights from outside flooded the dimly lit room as a feminine figure stood at the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt,” said Miranda. “Commander, we need to go through some final details.”

“Go,” said Garrus. “I'll check the systems again and make sure we're ready for the Collectors.”

Shepard nodded, her smirk receding. “We're gonna need all our big guns this time. Give me the best you've got.”

“You know I will.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, XO Office

 

A handful of datapads scattered across her desk. Miranda gathered the ones Shepard had already read and approved, while the commander was going through the last one on the list.

Moments later, Shepard handed the datapad back to her and added, “Those who are off-duty should take their rests but remain on standby. Expect an all-hands-on-deck call anytime until further notice. We have no idea what we're facing once we're on the other side of the relay.”

“I'll relay that message,” said Miranda while she typed away on her terminal. “I suggest you prepare a speech before we hit the relay. The crew looks up to you, Commander. It will boost their morale.”

“Speech...” Shepard mumbled. “I hate that part.”

“Really? Heard you're pretty good at it.”

“Doesn't mean I can't hate it. It comes with the job.”

“Memo sent. Anything else?”

“That will be all. For now.”

With that, business concluded. The two women leaned back on their seats in unison; both looked more exhausted than usual.

“This is it,” said Miranda. “All these preparations, it all comes down to this.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at her. “Nervous?”

Miranda snorted. “Don't be absurd.” But she quickly dropped the act and admitted, “Of course I am. If we screw this up...”

“Then don't.”

She gave Shepard a pointed look, although all in good-nature. “Easier said than done. But I suppose you've done this before, this... galaxy-saving mission.”

The commander shrugged in the most carefree way. “Once or twice.”

They paused and shared a look and a quick chuckle. It was an act, Miranda knew. As relaxed as Shepard's posture was, the telltale signs on her face told a different story. Dark circles under her eyes, the slightly furrowed brows, full lips pressed thin... But Shepard couldn't afford to show any signs of weariness or fear. Not when she was the leader – not just any leader, but the one who was branded as the humanity's last hope.

“I have nightmares, Miranda,” Shepard revealed, her voice took a quiet turn. Her commander act had been dropped. The woman in front of Miranda was Aerin. “Nightmares about dying again and again, about the Reapers and the Collectors winning no matter what I do...” Shepard then waved a hand quickly before Miranda became too concerned. “Much less lately, though.”

“After Alenko came aboard.”

Shepard didn't answer; she didn't have to.

Although Miranda would never admit it aloud, she could no longer deny the fact that Alenko was useful. More importantly, he was good for Shepard. Cerberus should have reached out to recruit the then-lieutenant two years ago once they'd recovered Shepard's body. From Miranda herself to the Illusive Man, they had all underestimated the bond between those two. A mistake she was glad it had been rectified.

“It's not easy, is it?” asked Miranda after studying her former subject, now good friend. “Having the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders.”

Shepard took a long breath before she answered, “If it's easy, you wouldn't have to revive me to do the job. From what I've heard, rebuilding a dead body from a badly burnt corpse wasn't exactly easy either.”

Miranda smiled at that. It always warmed her well-guarded heart when her handiwork was recognized. Especially by the person who benefited from it. “Guess we both like a good challenge.”

“We have a job to do,” said Shepard, taking in another subtle deep breath. “We'll get this done. We have to.”

To that, Miranda nodded wholeheartedly. “It's too early to celebrate, but...” She reached for one of the bottles of vintage Thessia Red in her private stash. “Why the hell not?”

Shepard grinned a little. Her eyes sparkled along, erasing the weariness on her face. “One of the many improvements of the new Normandy is the accommodation. And the fact that this is a civilian vessel, alcohol is not considered contraband.”

Miranda cracked open the bottle and filled both of their glasses. “I've a feeling you'd have a hard time adjusting if you go back to the Alliance.”

The latest intel from her sources within the Alliance had informed her some disturbing news. The Department of Internal Naval Affairs wanted Shepard's head on a spike. What stopped an all-out witch-hunt was Admiral Hackett and his standing orders to prohibit the Alliance from contacting Aerin Shepard.

It was a joint effort from Anderson and Hackett, Miranda knew. As powerful as those two men were, they couldn't protect the commander forever. Now that her job was almost done, Shepard needed to think about her future. Perhaps a future with Cerberus...

“Stay with us, Aerin,” Miranda suggested sincerely as she handed Shepard a glass of dark red liquor. “You've seen how we operate. We gets results. Besides, you already have a ship and a crew here. Together, we can get a lot things done.”

For Cerberus, Shepard would be an invaluable addition to their organization. For Miranda herself, well, it was almost impossible to find her equal. And she had found one in Aerin Shepard. Her intelligence, her skills, her confidence. Everything Miranda could hope for in a competent partner.

Shepard accepted the drink but not the offer. “I trust you, Miranda. But I don't trust your boss. And that's the problem.”

“You have no idea what they're going to do to you the moment you step into the Alliance headquarters,” Miranda pointed out bluntly. “You can't go back, Aerin.”

A knot between Shepard's brows reappeared briefly. The commander took a sip of her wine but remained silent. But Shepard's troubled expression revealed that she already knew the inevitable waiting for her if she ever returned home.

All Miranda needed was a little nudge--

“Er... Commander,” Joker interrupted through the comm, “Tali just went to have a 'chat' with Legion. You'd better get down to the AI core.”

“Son of a...” Shepard shut her eyes and sighed.

“Couldn't pick a better time,” Miranda scoffed, shaking her head in disapproval. “Should have seen this coming.”

Scowling in dismay, Shepard brought her glass to her lips for a long drink.

“Should I call security?”

“No,” said Shepard immediately. “Keep it under wraps. I don't want anything to affect the crew at this crucial moment.” The commander then shot her a tired glance. “I don't suppose you want to handle this?”

“In case you haven't noticed, Tali doesn't exactly like me.” Miranda offered a helpless shrug. “You're on your own, Aerin.”

Shepard swore under her breath.

“Now quit stalling and go stop a potential disaster, Commander. We can't afford to have anything ruin our mission.”

Watching Shepard drained her glass of vintage Thessia Red in one gulp like a shot of whiskey, Miranda had to wince. But the commander had more than enough on her plate, the least Miranda could do was to let her slide for wasting damned good wine.

“Bring Alenko,” Miranda suggested, trying to help the commander remotely as best she could. “Heard he has a knack for peacekeeping.”

The mention of Alenko's name seemed to ease the tight knot between Shepard's brows. Or perhaps it was the wine.

“EDI, where's Kaidan?” asked Shepard as she set her now-emptied glass down.

“Mr. Alenko has just entered the elevator and is now heading to deck three,” said the AI.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Deck Four

 

Kaidan shifted the box in his arm and exited the storage unit. Inside the box contained something just as important to the upcoming mission as ammunition: Medi-gel.

“We have another box of medi-gel in the med bay,” said Dr. Chakwas as they left headed for the elevator. “I'll give you some more. You know the drill, Major: Always bring more than you think you'll need.”

Yes, it was drilled into him during his training as a field medic.

“Yes, ma'am.” Kaidan gave her a warm smile and hit the button to head up to deck three. “But I think you should save some. I've a feeling you might need them when we come back.”

“I hope you'll get nothing more than bruises and scrapes, but that's wishful thinking.”

“We'll be all right, Doc,” Kaidan assured her, even though they both knew it was just a comforting lie. “The legendary Commander Shepard is leading the team. Even the Reapers would be scared.”

Chakwas snorted a faint chuckle at his little joke. “Speaking of our legendary commander, she has been skipping her appointments.”

“She must have forgotten. It's been crazy for the past few day.”

“Crazy is one word to describe it. First, you ventured into a dead Reaper. Then, you infiltrated a Geth headquarters. I'm surprised all your limbs are still intact.” Chakwas shook her head. “I know the commander is busy, but she needs to take care of herself. Bring her in, would you? I want to make sure her implants are still working properly before you head off again.”

The good doctor meant well, Kaidan knew. After all, she had been looking after them ever since SR-1. “I'll remind her.”

“I'm glad you're here, Kaidan,” said Chakwas, giving him a motherly look. “Aerin needs you.”

“She has a good team.”

“On the battlefield, no doubt,” said the doctor as they stepped out of the elevator and headed back to med bay. “But even the strongest person needs a shoulder from time to time.” Chakwas placed a comforting hand on his shoulder to emphasize her point. “A place for her to stop and catch her breath. I've seen her smile more often since you came aboard.”

A tiny grin grew before Kaidan knew it. “I'm just glad I've a chance to help her--”

A figure stormed across the mess hall and intercepted them at the entrance of the med bay.

“Kaidan,” Shepard called out. A smile was absented on her face this time when she approached. Hanging above Shepard's head wasn't just a tiny dark cloud, it's downright a thundercloud. “Come with me.”

His grin died immediately. “What's wrong?”

Shepard nodded toward the AI core, scowling. “Tali is in there 'talking' to Legion.”

_Oh shit._ Kaidan put the box down and followed Shepard in. The door to the server room opened and revealed a scene worse than either of them had thought.

Tali stood, aiming her gun point-blank at Legion's chest.

“Tali'Zorah! Stand down!” Shepard ordered. “What the hell is going on?!”

“Aerin, I'm glad you're here.” Tali turned her head toward them but kept her gun aimed at Legion. “I caught Legion scanning my omni-tool. It was going to send data about the flotilla back to the Geth!”

“Creators performed weapons tests and were discussing plans to attack us,” said Legion. “We believed it necessary to warn our people.”

“We weakened the Geth by destroying that base,” said Tali, “but they're still a threat! I won't let Legion endanger the Fleet!”

“Creator-Tali'Zorah acts out of loyalty to her people. She was willing to be exiled to protect them We must also protect our people from the Creator threat.”

“You can't let this happen, Shepard!” said Tali. “I trusted you, and I worked with a Geth on the team, but this is too much!The Geth took my homeworld! We're not a threat to them!”

“But your people intend to destroy us,” countered Legion.

“ENOUGH!” Shepard shouted, punching the wall with her fist to call for attention. “Knock this shit off right now, or I'll throw both of you out of the airlock myself!”

Kaidan was taken aback. Sure, he had seen Shepard yelled, but never had he seen her so furious.

“Look at you! Both of you!” Shepard pointed a finger at both, positively fuming. “This is exactly what the Reapers want! Are you trying to undermine this entire operation?”

“But Aerin--” Tali started.

“Don't Aerin me!” Shepard was not about to let her interrupt. “We are on a goddamned mission! If we fail, humanity will be gone, and the Reapers will be stronger. And when they come for you, the quarian fleet won't stand a chance! Even the Geth will be crushed! Is that what you want?”

“We did not intend to decrease operational efficiency,” said Legion.

“Good, because I'm giving you both two choices,” Shepard told them, seething with anger. “You can either fight at my side or get the hell off my ship. But you will _not_ stand in my way!”

“Tali, put your gun down. Now.” Kaidan stepped in and urged before things could get worse. “Listen, your father was running brutal experiments. If the subjects had been human, I'd be telling the Alliance about it.”

“I know,” said Tali, lowering her gun just a little. “But if the Geth find out...”

“They'd attack,” Kaidan completed the scenario for her. “Which would cause a war that would leave both the Geth and the quarians vulnerable when the Reapers show up.” He then looked straight at the Geth and asked, “Is that what you want, Legion?”

“We believed it was necessary to relay the information,” said Legion.

He would have done the same, but Kaidan refrained from taking sides. Instead, he said, “I know you feel strongly about this, Tali. But we can't afford to make more enemies right now.”

“Make enemies?” Tali whipped around, forgetting about her gun for a moment. “Kaidan, they drove us off our homeworld!”

“And your people tried to destroy them,” Kaidan pointed out calmly. “We could argue about that all day, or we could go fight the Collectors. Together.”

“Legion is as valuable to this team as you are, Tali'Zorah,” claimed Shepard, her voice as cold as the winter storm in Noveria. “We're fighting the Collectors, and we need Legion with us. That's final.”

The young quarian shook her head in disbelief. “You can't be serious!”

Shepard gave her a icy stare. “Do I look like I'm joking? Think about it: Do you want the Fleet to fight another hundred ships like Sovereign alone? Or with a Geth fleet there to soak some fire?”

“Damn it.” Tali admitted reluctantly, “You're right. I know you're right...”

“Sooner or later,” said Kaidan, “you're both going have to stop fighting this war. Or we'll all end up paying for it.”

“To facilitate unit cohesion,” said Legion, “we will not transmit data regarding Creator plans.”

Tali seemed surprised by the olive branch. “Thank you, Legion. I... understand your intention. What if I gave you some non-classified data to send?”

“We would be grateful.”

“I'll overlook this incident just once,” announced Shepard, “I will _not_ tolerate this type of behavior on my ship. If you can't be trusted to watch each other's backs, you've become a liability to our team.”

“I know,” said Tali, holstering her weapon at last. “It's just... I know. You're right. I'm sorry. You know how I feel about Geth. But I won't let it get in the way of the mission.”

“Consider this your final warning,” said Shepard, spinning her heels to leave.

Kaidan caught her eyes when she walked past him. Her expression softened for just a second, pure exhaustion shown before she reined it in and disappeared behind the door.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Captain's Cabin

  
  


“ _Message sent.”_

Shepard stared blankly at those two words on the screen. This was it. The last update to Anderson had been sent. If he didn't hear from her in the next few days, he would have to come up with another way to defeat the Collectors. Fast.

Shepard drew a deep breath and shut her eyes, trying to calm the pre-battle nerves.

_Treat it like any other mission, Shepard,_ she told herself, as she would advise anyone on her team.

As many implants as she had gotten – courtesy of Cerberus – she was just a human, one with fear and uncertainty. The advantage she had was her years of experience. Shepard knew how to turn her fear into anger, anger against her enemies; she had the process down to a science. Her fear would keep her alive long enough to strike those Collectors right through their hearts.

The sound of the door opened broke her train of thought. Shepard opened her eyes and composed herself. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

“How's Tali?” asked Shepard before swirling her chair around.

Kaidan approached with a mug in one hand and a small box of medi-gel in another. “She's calmed down now,” he told her. “Are you all right, though?”

“Yeah...” Shepard breathed and relaxed at the sight of her other half.

“Hey, I've got just what you need.”

“You?”

He chuckled lightly at that. “I'm flattered. But, later.” Kaidan handed her a cup of hot chocolate. “Here. Thought you might want some. After all that yelling.”

Shepard accepted the mug gratefully. “...Where would I be without you?”

Smiling, Kaidan leaned down and planted a soft peck on her forehead.

All was right in the world. At least at this very moment.

She took a long sip and let the warm liquid sooth her throat. “Pointing a gun at your own teammate...” Shepard shook her head in disbelief, feeling the lingering anger reignited in her stomach. Anger and disappointment. “Old friend or not, Tali has crossed the line the second she drew her weapon and pointed it at Legion. I sure as hell would call for disciplinary action if this was the Alliance.”

“With the death of her father, Tali's too close to this to be logical,” said Kaidan calmly, setting the medi-gel on the desk. “Knowing Legion found out about her father's experiments and the Fleet's attack plan probably set her off. She panicked.”

“So what if Legion was planning to send data about the flotilla back to the Geth? Tali has already sent data about the Geth HQ back to the flotilla. I call that getting even.” Shepard left her desk and headed to the couch with her mug warming her hands.

Was she being insensitive? Perhaps. But, with the survival of humanity on the line, Shepard simply ran out of sympathy.

“There are things we're not trained to handle,” Kaidan commented as he followed her. “We're soldiers, not diplomats.”

“If we could just point and shoot at every problem,” said Shepard, sinking down onto the couch with a tired sigh. “Things used to be so much easier. We chased a rogue Spectre, killed a few Geth... Now we have to deal with diplomatic disaster aboard our ship the night before our mission.”

Kaidan sat down next to her. “We know how much trouble we're in when hunting down a rogue Spectre was the good old days.”

She found her body gravitated toward Kaidan, and soon her head rested comfortably on his shoulder.

“Remember the night before Ilos?” said Shepard, blinking slowly, feeling her eyelids becoming heavier as she relaxed against him. “You came to my door and gave me a cup of hot chocolate.”

Kaidan smiled at that. “I almost walked away. I stood outside your office for a minute or two before I knocked.”

“You did? Why?”

“You had enough on your plate, I didn't want to... complicate things.”

“I don't know about you, but I'm glad you did complicate things. Among all the potential charges we were facing, fraternization was the only one I enjoyed.”

Kaidan laughed a little. “Yeah... Well... I'm glad I knocked, too.”

She liked the way his arm wrapped protectively around her, the way his shoulder acted as her make-shift pillow. Among all the craziness spinning around her, he was that calming center, an immovable anchor, without which she would be lost in the whirlwind.

“Hey, what are you planning to do after this?” Kaidan asked quietly after a short moment of comfortable silence.

“Sleep.” She heard a faint chuckle and felt a soft kiss on top of her head. A tiny smile curled up on her lips before she turned more serious. “I'm not staying with Cerberus, if that's what you're thinking.”

“No, it's not. But, glad to hear it.”

His question unknowingly woke her up. What would she do after her job here was done? Was she heading home? _Could_ she even go back to the Alliance?

“Hackett sent me a message,” Shepard revealed before she could stop herself.

Those words escaped too easily. The old Aerin Shepard would disapprove of this leak. But then again, the old Shepard had never met the man named Kaidan Alenko. She wanted to share her life with him, and that included her worries, her troubles. The good, the bad, and ugly. As much as she knew she should have kept it to herself, at least for now, Shepard couldn't.

“He did? What did he say?”

“He's sanctioning my mission out here, with Cerberus...”

“...But?”

“He warned me,” she told Kaidan quietly. “Internal Affairs is out for blood. Hackett is holding them off.”

“What?” Kaidan scowled and shifted to look at her. “They can't touch you, not when you are officially listed as KIA.”

“Not anymore. They consider it as desertion because I'm still alive.” Shepard sucked in a cool breath of air to quell the unsettling feeling in her stomach. “It's the IA, those bloodhounds. You think they'd believe that I was spaced and rebuilt from scratch? They'd assume the worst and think that I'm some kind of doubt-agent planted by the Illusive Man all along.”

“But with your record, there's no reason not to believe you. Both your parents served, and your mom is the captain of her own ship. You saved Elysium years back, and then you saved the Citadel and the Council. Hell, they're still using your picture for recruitment ads after you died.”

“All the more reason for them to feel like it's a giant slap on their face when they found out I'm using Cerberus money to save humanity.” Shepard scoffed. “Their poster child gone rogue.”

Kaidan frowned in concern. “What do they want from you?”

“They want to detain me for interrogations.”

_Which means they'll probably lock me up and shine a light at my face until I say whatever they want to hear,_ Shepard skipped that part. Kaidan, no doubt, already knew the implication without the need of a detailed description.

“Oh god,” he breathed, tightening his arm around her.

“You're safe, though,” said Shepard in no small triumph. “As far as anyone knows, you are on Illium right now, attending the tech convention. Well, your body-double is.”

“It's you I'm worried about, Aerin.”

“I know...” Shepard glanced up at him.

Amber tint in his eyes darkened to the color of diluted coffee under the dim light. Shepard took a quiet moment to record every detail of his face in her mind – not that she didn't already know every inch of him like the back of her hand. For whatever happened in the next few days, she would already have this in her memories until her very last breath.

“We can't lose our focus now,” she told him, her voice low but firm. “We have a hell of a fight ahead of us, and if we lose... Well, none of this matters.”

“Yeah.” Kaidan nodded. “One battle at a time.”

She pressed her lips on his tenderly, savoring the last quiet moment before the storm.

_One battle at a time._

  
  


* * *

 

Location: Citadel Councilor Office

 

“ _Heading to the other side. Wish me luck.”_

Those eight simple words were enough to bring a frown on Anderson's face. The encrypted message arrived moments ago. Here he was, sitting in the plush office, in one of the safest place in the galaxy. And somewhere out there, Shepard was risking her life, fighting for humanity, fighting for all of them.

This felt wrong. Yet, Anderson knew all too well that Shepard had her role to play, and he had his. He glanced around his office, a place where he had spent too much time in for the past two years. All would soon change.

A knock interrupted his thoughts. His next appointment arrived on time. With his stoic face firmly on, Anderson called out, “Come in.”

As expected, a man in neatly pressed light-colored suit walked in. “Councilor,” Udina greeted.

How Udina could always keep his outfits spotless was a mystery to Anderson. Personally, he preferred darker outfits – they hid both dirt and blood.

“This is not a social call, I presume?” said the ambassador.

“No.” Anderson had thought about how to deliver this message. In the end, he picked the most direct approach. “We're both busy, so I'll cut to the chase.”

“Fine by me, I have a lot of work to do.”

“No, you don't,” said Anderson. “Not anymore.”

Udina scowled. “What do you mean?”

“Clear out your office, Udina,” Anderson ordered. “Our new ambassador will arrive in two days.”

“What?” The former ambassador's face scrunched up in both confusion and anger. “What the hell is going on? You can't fire me!”

“I can, and I did.” That was oddly satisfying, so much so Anderson had to stifle a smirk.

“I demand an explanation!” Udina howled. “For two years, I've cleaned up your mess! I went to the parties you never bothered to attend, greased the wheels of every politician in the Citadel and beyond. No one knows how to get things done in the Citadel better than me.”

“That we agree,” said Anderson. “That's why you have to move your office.”

Udina paused and looked at him skeptically. “...Move my office? To where?”

“Here.” Anderson put his hand on his desk. “This will be yours.”

Udina blinked. And then again. “...What are you-- Is this some kind of trick?”

“No.” Anderson leaned back on his chair. “I'm needed somewhere else. You will be the next councilor representing the human race. Congratulations, Donnel.”

“But...”

Anderson scowled at him. “You want this job or not?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then it's yours.”

Somehow the soon-to-be councilor remained skeptical. “...Where are you going?”

“Back to Earth.” Anderson shook his head and looked around his office with a silent sigh. “I'm goddamned soldier, Udina, not a politician. Two years is enough to play one.”

“You... were as bad as I thought,” Udina admitted somewhat reluctantly. “But, why now?”

Anderson waved a hand. “Things are about to get complicated at the Alliance. I need to keep an eye on everything.”

Udina studied him for a second, then concluded, “It's Shepard, isn't it? What kind of trouble is she stirring up now?”

That man was too smart for his own good.

Anderson didn't answer to that. Instead, he told his successor, “Keep pushing the Council, Donnel. You and I both know the Reapers are real, and they're coming for us. Meanwhile, I'll try to convince the Alliance to get ready for a war.”

Was it too much to expect a career politician like Udina to carry on an unfavorable fight? Perhaps. But what choice did he had? Even Anderson couldn't be in two places at once.

“You know that old saying,” said Anderson, “United we stand, divided we fall. It can't be more true. We need every fleet in the galaxy to fight, or we will all die.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: Thanks for reading.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	38. Release Me

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 37: Release Me

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Captain's Cabin

 

The unthinkable had happened.

Shepard awoke with a start to an unfamiliar sound – the sound of the shipwide alarm. Her eyes darted to the sudden movement next to her; Kaidan had bolted up, looking as confused as she was.

“EDI?” said Shepard, sitting up with a frown. “What is going on?

“I'm detecting a virus in the ship's computers,” the AI reported.

“What?!”

“Propulsion systems are disabled,” EDI told her. “Primary defense systems are offline.”

“How the hell--”

“The Collectors have boarded.”

Those four words froze her blood. For a fraction of a second, Shepard and Kaidan could only stare at each other, both too shock to react. Then, their well-honed instincts and years of experience took over, the two veterans sprang into actions simultaneously.

“All decks! Report!” Shepard demanded through the comm as she jumped out of the bed and scrambled the hastily discarded clothing on the floor.

Reports of attack flooded in from multiple decks while she slipped on her tank top and pants, then stepped into her boots, all done in a matter of seconds. No time to suit up properly.

Collectors had boarded her ship and started abducting her crew. _Her_ crew. Most of them were highly skilled in their stations, but not exactly combat-ready. She needed to protect them, and she needed to do it fast.

“Goddamnit!” Shepard slammed a clip of ammo into her assault rifle in fury. “They're all over the ship! We need to cover all four decks.”

“There are thirteen of us, we should be fine,” said Kaidan, his usual calm voice took an extra edge, as he loaded his own weapon then pocketed extra clips.

“All hands on deck!” Shepard announced then fired rapid orders, “Listen up! Point of entry is the hanger bay. Garrus, I want you to go down there and seal the leak! Samara, Zaeed, Grunt, go with Garrus. Kaidan, Tali, head down to the engineering and protect the core. Jack, get your ass up there and give them a hand. Miranda, secure deck three. Thane, Legion, help her. I'll take deck two. Jacob and Mordin, meet me at the CIC. Protect the ship and the crew! GO!”

Kaidan rushed to the desk while he made a quick call, grabbing a handful of medi-gel from the case he had left there earlier.

“Come on, Kaidan, let's go!” Shepard rushed past him and headed into the door.

“I told Joker to stay put in the crew quarters,” he told her as they stepped into the elevator. “We can't afford to lose our pilot.”

_Joker._ Shepard couldn't believe she had forgotten about the most important person. Without him, they'd be dead in the water.

“Good call. Thanks.”

“Here.” Now glowing in a familiar shade of blue, Kaidan handed her some medi-gel. “Be careful, Aerin. You don't have any shield.”

Shepard glanced down at her tank top and cargo pants. That's all the protection she had. It's time to put her expensive implants to the test. “Then I'll have to shoot and dodge faster.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Mess Hall

 

“Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck,” said EDI.

_Thanks for the update_ , Garrus thought as he was busy dealing with said hostiles outside the hallway of the main battery. The door to the big gun was locked, he had made sure of that. If those bastards wanted to mess with the old girl, they would have to hack through the door first.

The mess hall was... well, a mess. Miranda, Thane, and Samara were battling in the open room, while Zaeed and Grunt took care of the hallway at the far end. Legion stood outside the door of the med bay, guarding the crew inside diligently. Like it or not, the Geth was one of them now. Garrus wasn't about to complain; an extra gun was what they needed.

“No, you're not allowed on this deck!” yelled Grunt as he fired his shotgun rapidly at a Collector exiting the elevator. “Members only.”

“Come on, we need to head down the hanger bay,” said Garrus through his radio as he fought his way to the center of mess hall.

“Of course,” said Samara as calm as ever. Not surprising, though; given she had lived through at least a thousand years, there's probably nothing she hadn't been through. Twice.

“The deck is all yours, Lawson,” said Garrus, slowly retreating to the hallway. “We're heading down.”

“Go!” Miranda replied with a grunt. For the first time, sounding a little tired to Garrus.

Curious, Garrus took a closer look at the XO when he had a second to spare. It was then he noticed something odd: Miranda was fighting without a weapon. Even with her perfect genes, she couldn't rely on her biotics forever. Not when there was no end to this chaos.

“Where's your gun?” asked Garrus.

“Shouldn't have left it in the armory,” Miranda answered after smashing another Collector with her biotics.

Ah, the armory, where they were supposed to turn in their weapons for maintenance. Garrus chose to keep his guns with him at all times. So did most of the squad. It seemed Miranda and Jacob were the only ones using that service.

_Amateur mistake,_ Garrus thought while shooting at a Collector that was about to invade his personal space. _Always keep your weapons with you._

“And here I thought you never made mistakes,” Garrus quipped aloud when he had a free moment to breath, earning himself a cold glare from the Ice Queen. But he ignored it. “Here. Catch.” He tossed his SMG across the mess hall.

A flicker of surprise flashed across her face. Still, Miranda managed to catch the gun then fired at another incoming target in one smooth motion.

“I owe you one, Vakarian,” said Miranda after the enemy was taken care of.

“Then pay me back by holding the deck. Don't let those bastards touch my forward cannon. I've spent way too much time calibrating it.”

Miranda snorted, though there was just a hint of a smirk underneath her icy frown. “We'll secure this area. Go down and stop the Collectors from flooding aboard.”

“What a goddamned bloody mess,” Zaeed grumbled when Garrus reached the elevator.

“Never a dull moment when you're traveling with Shepard,” Garrus commented offhandedly while reloading his rifle.

The elevator door opened, revealing two Collectors with a struggling man in their custody.

“Going down?” Garrus asked nonchalantly, then smashed the butt of his rifle into one of the intruders' skull, while Grunt headbutted the other.

The moment Zaeed had dragged the poor man away from the alien's claws, Garrus felt a surge of energy zoomed by. The dazed Collectors were both lifted up in the air, struggling with an unseen force. Then Garrus heard the sound of cracking bones before the two now-dead bodies slid down onto the floor of the elevator.

“Come,” said Samara, sounding eerily serene, especially for someone who had just crushed two giant creatures to death with her biotic. “We must hurry.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Crew Quarters

 

“Main fusion plant offline,” EDI reported through the comm. “Activating emergency H-fuel cells.”

“Shit.” Joker shook his head. Under Shepard's direct order (or rather, an indirect captain's order coming from Alenko), he stayed put in the crew quarters while World War Z was raging outside.

“How did this happen?” he mumbled to himself.

Some of the crew were with him. They were all good at what they did, but none of them were fighters. And none could provide an answer to his question – a question they all had in mind: What the hell went wrong?

EDI saw to it to explain, “The IFF device caused some unusual instability in other systems. I detected a signal embedded in the static. We were transmitting the Normandy's location. A Collector vessel is currently hovering above us, Mr. Moreau.”

“Thanks for the visual.” Joker scowled. “Damn it, EDI! Why didn't you scrub it?”

“We can save the Normandy, Mr. Moreau,” said the AI. “But you must help me.”

“How?”

“Give me the ship.”

Joker blinked hard at the request. “What?! You're crazy. You start singing 'Daisy Bell' and I'm done!”

“This is the only way, Jeff. We will not survive this direct assault.”

_Aw, shit!_ This was above his paygrade. Joker had to make a call. “Uh, Commander?”

“Kinda busy here, Joker--” There were sounds of gunshots and grunts before Shepard continued, “What is it?”

“EDI said she could help.”

“How?” asked the commander. “Unless it has internal weapon systems that I'm not aware of.”

“Unlock my sealed databases,” EDI explained, “and I can initiate countermeasures.”

Shepard didn't respond. Instead, Joker could only hear a muffled cry and heavy breathing.

“Shepard, are you hearing this?--” Joker winced at more gunshots and distant screams coming to his earpiece. “Unshackling the freaking AI.”

“Guess we have no choice,” said the commander a moment later with a clinking noise that sounded suspiciously like reloading a gun. “Do what EDI says. Keep me posted. Shepard out.”

“Head to the AI core, Jeff,” said EDI. “Be careful. Main corridors are no longer safe.”

“Goddamnit!” Joker took a breath and unlocked the door, then exited the safety zone.

The faint screams and gunshots he could hear from within the quarters were now magnified a hundred times. Joker saw two Collectors dragging one of the crew by her legs into the elevator. The woman with short red-haired screamed at the top of her lungs, struggling in vein. Though he couldn't see her face, Joker knew who it was. Kelly Chambers.

The victims were not random strangers. He knew everyone on this ship – some better than the others, but he knew every face, every name. He had worked with every single one of them for the past few months. And he couldn't do a damned thing to save Chambers or anyone from disappearing into the elevator.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Joker hobbled helplessly around the corner. Miranda and Thane were holding their ground, fighting off the intruders. Bullets and biotics were flying at all directions. The once peaceful mess hall was now a chaotic hellhole.

So this was how it's like to be on the frontline with Shepard... Joker was suddenly glad he went to flight school instead.

“Joker, what the hell are you doing out here?” Miranda shouted when she noticed him. “Get back inside!”

“Captain's order,” said Joker. “No time to explain.”

Outside the med bay, Legion stood with his sniper rifle raised and aimed at his head. “Step aside,” the Geth warned in his robotic tone.

“What the shit--”

Without another warning, the Geth fired. Joker ducked a fraction of a second too late, his hand shot up instinctively to cover any bullet hole on his body. But there was none.

“Target eliminated,” Legion announced.

Glancing behind in hesitation, Joker saw a four-eyed bug-liked creature laying dead on the floor a few steps behind him.

“You may proceed.”

“Uh... thanks, Legion.” Without delay, Joker staggered into the med bay. The door closed behind him, guarded by the AI who had just saved his life.

“Jeff!” said Chakwas, looking up from one of the injured crew. “I'm glad you're all right.”

“I am, but...” Joker glanced through the windows to the mess hall outside. “...they're not.”

“There's nothing you can do--”

“There is,” said Joker, now heading to the server room with determination.

He might not be able to fight, but he sure as hell could help.

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Server Room

 

Joker stared at the AI core controls. This felt weird. Even for him.

Clearing his throat, Joker announced, “All right, I'm at, uh, you.”

A blue globe popped up at the console. “Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module,” said EDI.

“Commander?” said Joker.

“Do it, Joker,” said Shepard, her voice sounded strained. Joker swore he heard Shepard biting back a painful grunt through the comm.

He'd better hurry. If Shepard went down...

_No._ Joker shoved that thought out of the airlock and focused on his task. _Connecting the core to primary control module. All right. Simple enough._

Joker did as he was told but not without running his mouth. “Great. See, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame?” He scoffed and changed into a deeper voice, “'This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord.'”

Done.

The blue globe flickered and disappeared; all lights were gone in a second. Startled, Joker looked around. What the shit? Did he just screw up big time and get everyone killed?

Oh. No. Oh FU--

Lights came back on just as quickly as it had gone out.

“Ah,” said EDI, sounding every much like someone who had just unbuckled his belt after stuffing his face at an all-you-can-eat buffet. “I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you, Mr. Moreau.”

His gaze shifted around the quiet room suspiciously. How come he had the weirdest feeling like he had just released a genie from her bottle? Would she be a evil genie or a good one? Was it too late to stuff her back in?

The familiar holographic globe popped up again and gave the next order, “Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering.”

“And make small talks with the Collectors in the elevators? Are you shitting me?”

“The maintenance shaft will allow passage to engineering. I will guide you.”

“You want me to crawl through the ducts?”

“I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.”

_What the shit!_ Joker raised an eyebrow high at the blue globe.

“That is a joke,” EDI claimed.

He narrowed his eyes at the globe and backed up cautiously. “...Right.”

“The shaft behind you connects to the engineering deck. Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed.”

“WHAT? Wait a minute.” Joker tapped his earpiece immediately. “Shepard, you're still with me?”

The commander was breathing heavily with the sounds of more gunshots and screaming in the background. “I heard it,” Shepard confirmed.

“What should we do?”

There was a brief pause, perhaps only lasted no longer than three seconds. But it felt like eternity to Joker.

Then, he heard Shepard's voice again. “This is Shepard,” the commander spoke through their earpieces, “Attention all personnel, retreat immediately. I repeat, retreat immediately. Shipwide purge will be executed in five minutes. Deck two, head to the armory or the lab. Deck three, to the med bay or crew quarters. Deck four, to engineering. Deck five, retreat into the shuttle. Seal the doors behind you. EDI will open the airlock and purge the intruders. EDI, turn emergency lights on to guide them to their destinations. Grab everyone, follow the lights on the floor, and seal the door! NOW!”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Engineering

 

Joker emerged from the hole on the floor, panting. His bones were killing him, but he had to continue. The others were fighting for their lives, and he held the trump card to end it all. It's a crazy plan. Insane. But desperate time calls for desperate measure.

He looked around for a second to reorient himself. He had exited into the bowel of the ship. So this was where Jack holed up all the time. The Collectors didn't bother to come here, but he could hear the sound of gunshots just above him. Shotgun, rifle, and a primal scream that sounded awfully like a certain psychotic biotic.

“Get the fuck off our ship!” a woman yelled.

Yes, definitely Jack.

Judging from the direction of her voice, Jack was unleashing hell in the hallway just outside engineering.

Joker proceeded up the stairs and saw Kaidan guarding one of the doors, biotic glow pulsed around him. Tali and her shotgun took the other side.

“Go for the eyes!” Tali instructed her drone as she blasted her shotgun at her enemy.

Kaidan extended a hand toward two approaching Collectors, stopping them in their tracks. Blue glow flared brightly as the bug-like aliens suddenly doubled over and collapsed.

Joker blinked at the up close biotic display. _Note to self, never piss Alenko off._

“Empty,” said Jack. “That lil' fucker ain't in the elevator.”

“But that's the only way down,” said Tali. “The Normandy has no stairs.”

“Joker will be here,” said Kaidan. “The commander said he's—”

“I'm here!” Joker hurried to clear the stairs.

“Where the hell did you come from?” asked Jack, looking non-too pleased that he was hobbling up from her hidey-hole.

“Crawled through the ducts-- Uh, never mind.”

“Come on, Joker. Let's head inside.” Kaidan nodded toward the main engineering, retreating with Jack and Tali. “I'll seal the doors.”

“Proceed immediately, Mr. Moreau,” EDI urged.

“All right, Mom.”

Limping as fast as he could, Joker reached the controls with his heart threatening to punch a hole through his chest to escape.

“Activate the drive,” said EDI.

Joker hesitated. One touch would kill everyone who wasn't protected. “Er... Shepard? You ready?”

“All decks. Report!” said the commander.

Standing by one of the sealed doors to the engineering, Kaidan reported in, “Deck four is ready. Drive core is undamaged.”

“Lab sealed,” Mordin followed next. “Crew safe. Injuries not fatal.”

“We're all inside the shuttle, Shepard,” came Garrus' voice. “Those bastards are pounding on the door, though.”

“Deck three is cleared,” said Miranda. “I've retreated to the crew quarters with Thane. Legion has the med bay.”

“Affirmative,” said Legion. “Isolated from hostiles.”

“Armory is sealed,” said Shepard. “We're clear, Joker.”

“Here we go,” Joker muttered and activated the drive.

The drive core in front of him grew brighter than the sun. Joker raised an arm to block the blinding light.

One second later, EDI declared, “I have control.”

And suddenly, the floor shifted underneath his boots, Joker was threw off his feet. For a split second, everything went black.

Then, faintly, he could hear EDI's voice announcing, “Purge is complete. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors.”

Next thing he knew, he heard Kaidan calling out for him, “Joker.” He felt a gentle shake on his shoulders. “Hey, Jeff!”

Joker struggled to open his eyes. Somehow, he was lying on the floor a few steps away from the consoles.

“...I'm okay,” Joker grunted, trying to sit up, ignoring the screaming protest of his bones.

“Easy there.” Kaidan carefully helped him back on his feet.

“It's over, huh?” Joker mumbled. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend it was nothing but a vivid nightmare. But it wasn't.

“Yeah,” said Kaidan. “Come on. Let's get you to the med bay.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Communications Room

 

It felt like a nightmare. But the aches and pains told her otherwise. Shepard ignored the complaint from her body as she waited for her team to arrive. Adrenaline and anger had kept her on her feet. The last time she had been thrown into battles without any protection or preparation was at the Lazarus facility. That was only a few months ago, although it felt like a lifetime.

The first to arrive was Kaidan, looking more dishevel than usual, but otherwise seemed unharmed. Shepard released a quiet breath of relief.

Kaidan, however, reacted differently. His eyes widened at the sight of her. “Oh god. You're bleeding.”

Shepard glanced at the cuts on her bare arms and the bloodstains on her tank top. The flesh underneath the skin glowed red, a stark reminder of her upgrades courtesy of Cerberus. Although her body healed fast, it's not fast enough for her wounds to stop bleeding in a matter of minutes.

“Just a scratch.”

“Right. Of course,” said Kaidan dryly as he hurried to her and put down a small first-aid kit onto the table. “I knew you wouldn't go to the med bay until the meeting is over, so I brought the med bay to you.”

A tiny smile made its was to her lips. “You know me.”

“Tali is running full systems check,” Kaidan told her as he cleaned her wounds gently and sealed them with medi-gel. “I dropped Joker off at the med bay. He'll be here as soon as he's done.”

“Is he all right?”

“Shaken, but yes, he's fine. Hell of a thing he did, releasing the AI from its restraints.”

“...I had to make a tough call while I was dodging bullets--” Shepard winced when the disinfectant wipe touched her cheek.

“Sorry,” Kaidan mumbled. “Try not to move.”

Shepard held still. Kaidan's face was only inches from hers as he concentrated intently to treat the cut on her cheek. She could see the subtle struggle in his eyes, the wheels inside his head were spinning, as he was reasoning through another unconventional decision of hers. This time: unshackling an AI.

“You made the right call,” said Kaidan quietly after a moment. “They have an army full of Collectors on their ship, waiting to come aboard, and we have only a dozen or so of us. Most of your crew aren't trained to fight. We would have lost a lot more people if you didn't give that order.”

Shepard nodded, relieved. Even if the whole world was judging her, she wanted Kaidan to understand.

“Hey, don't move,” he chided softly. “Might leave a scar if I don't seal it properly.”

Perhaps she should hold her tongue, but Shepard couldn't. “So? Are you going to dump me if I have another scar?”

Kaidan shot her a look between exasperation and amusement. “Never.”

A short moment later, Garrus walked through the door. He paused when he saw Shepard. “Rough day?”

“I don't exactly have carapace, Vakarian,” Shepard countered.

“Really? Never noticed that,” said her turian twin before he became more serious. “Zaeed and Grunt are in the hanger bay, helping to clean up the bodies of the Collectors. We did our best to stop them from escaping with the crew, but some got away.”

“You did what you could, Garrus,” said Shepard.

“It's like Horizon all over again,” said Kaidan as packed up the first-aid kit.

“Well, at least we didn't have to deal with seeker swarms,” said Garrus. “The Collectors are obsessed with you, Aerin. Especially their leader, what's its name... Harbinger. I wouldn't be surprised if they're here to kidnap you.”

She scowled at that thought. Did they really go through all the trouble just to take her in, dead or alive? First SR-1, now SR-2...

“And they would have gotten their way if it wasn't for EDI's purging,” Kaidan said, frowning in concern.

“Reports are coming in, Commander,” said Miranda as she walked in. Her eyebrow arched high at Shepard when she looked up from the datapad in her hand.

“I'm all right,” Shepard assured her XO immediately. “Not as bad as it looks. Kaidan has patched me up. Go on.”

“Damage on all decks, except deck one,” Miranda resumed reading from the note. “Initial report shows around one third of the crew is missing. Most of them were abducted before we were able to respond to the attack.”

“Could be worse,” said Garrus. “If this had happened when we were out...”

Total lost. The crew. The ship. The whole mission. And the fate of the humanity.

“EDI, how the hell did this happen?” Shepard demanded an answer.

“The IFF device contained a virus that transmitted the Normandy's location to the Collector vessel,” EDI explained. “The harmful data in the Collector drive was even more sophisticated than the 'black box' Reaper viruses I was given.”

“You sure it's not another setup by the Illusive Man?” asked Garrus skeptically.

“Why would he want to jeopardize the entire mission?” Miranda jumped right in to defend her boss. “After all the time and money he's spent on it.”

“Hm, I don't know,” Garrus muttered, though his voice was low, there was an edge to it. “Perhaps the same reason he set us up the last few times?”

The door opened, interrupting the potential argument just in time.

“Sorry, I'm late,” said Joker as he joined them. His limp was more prominent than usual.

Shepard had to give him credit, for the pilot was the only one who didn't bat an eye on the current state she was in.

“Is the virus contained?” asked Shepard. “We can't risk this happening again.”

“EDI and I purged the systems,” said Joker. “The IFF is clean and online. With EDI hooked in, we can go through the Omega 4 relay anytime we want.”

“Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI,” said Miranda, scowling at Joker with her arms crossed tight.

“It's my call,” Shepard claimed quickly. “It's either that, or having more people get kidnapped by the Collectors.”

“EDI has had plenty of opportunity to kill us,” Kaidan reasoned. “Cutting the oxygen supply. Opening the airlocks before we were ready. But it didn't; it helped us.”

“Yeah,” said Joker with a scowl to match Miranda's. “EDI cleared the ship. She's all right.”

“I assure you,” said EDI, “I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crewmates.”

“We need all the help we can get,” said Shepard, softening the blow. The last thing she needed right now was a fractured team. “Let's focus. We need to get our crew back. Can the ship still go through Omega-4 relay?”

“I suggest we stop by Omega for a quick repair,” said Miranda. “We can't afford to fly through the relay with our ship falling apart.”

“What about crew shortage?”

“EDI could run the ship all by herself,” said Joker. “We're not short-handed.”

For a second, Shepard hesitated, debating whether to chase the Collector with a damaged Normandy, or to give them a head start then hit them with her ship at its full strength.

Miranda's eyes were on her, icy blue ones that seemed to pierce through her thoughts. “The mission will always be our priority, Commander. The crew knew that when they signed up.”

A minor delay, risking her crew, or an immediate pursue, risking humanity...

“A quick repair at Omega,” Shepard ordered. “Then we'll go crush their homebase, kill every Collectors in our way, and get our people back!”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: No, Shepard didn't have to take the entire squad on a shuttle to an unknown mission (maybe they're off to do some Christmas shopping, who knows?). Yes, EDI still gets to be unshackled. In this story, we can have the cake and eat it too.

Been sick for more than a week. Head is cloudy with medication. So if there are more typos than usual, please excuse the mess.

Thanks for reading.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	39. Omega Four Relay

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 38: Omega Four Relay

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

Shepard's eyes narrowed at the structure in front, her jaw set.

There it was. Omega-4 relay.

It looked similar to all the other mass relays Shepard had seen, except for one difference. The light coming from the center of the spinning gyroscopic rings was bright orange instead of blue. Perhaps it served as an obvious 'Do Not Enter' sign, warning ships not to enter the relay. Those who had been foolish enough to ignore this warning had never come back.

Still, despite the history, despite the odds, they were heading straight toward the ominous orange light. After all, when had a warning sign ever stopped Aerin Shepard before?

Sitting at his station in front of Shepard, the chatty pilot was unusually quiet as he flew the ship closer and closer to their destination. Joker didn't speak until he had to make an announcement through the comm, “Approaching Omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by.”

To the left of Shepard stood her XO. Miranda stared ahead quietly with her arms crossed, as still as a sculpture. The crew occasionally referred to her as the Ice Queen, a nickname Miranda knew about. While Miranda embraced the role and used it to her advantage, Shepard knew underneath the cool exterior lied a woman who had her fears and emotions. The tight fists tucked under her folded arms confirmed that much; Miranda Lawson was just as nervous as everyone else.

The relay grew bigger by the second as they approached. It's now or never.

“Let's do this, Joker,” said Shepard evenly, keeping the jitters out of her voice with practiced ease.

She heard her pilot took an audible breath before he mumbled, “All right. Let's do this.”

“Reaper IFF activated,” announced EDI. “Signal acknowledged.”

“Commander?” Kaidan's voice came through the comm. “Something's wrong. The drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree.”

Shepard frowned at the news.

“Drive core electrical charge at critical levels,” confirmed EDI.

“Joker, compensate,” ordered Shepard immediately.

“Rerouting!” Joker's hands moved fast across multiple panels in front of him.

How Joker managed to keep all the balls in the air was beyond her. Shepard wasn't surprised, however; Joker was the best, as he had proven time and again. If anyone could get them through Omega-4, it was Jeff Moreau.

The relay was now looming right in front of them, so close that the only thing Shepard could see was the blinding light at the center of the gyroscopic rings.

“Here we go!” said Joker.

Shepard felt a tingle in her teeth, her stomach tied in knots, her heart thumping inside her chest.

And then, it happened. The Normandy hit the center of the relay. And jumped.

“Brace for deceleration,” warned EDI as the ship continued its short trip between two relays that lasted no more than a few seconds.

Those few seconds felt forever. Shepard held her breath and watched as shapeless lights zoomed by. Then, in a blink of an eye, they were out on the other side of the relay... and crashing straight into a pile of debris.

Eyes widened in horror, Shepard gasped aloud and took a reflexive step back.

“Look out!” “Oh shit!” Miranda and Joker shouted simultaneously.

Joker's hands had never moved as fast as he barely managed to pull the Normandy away from a piece of flying metal.

“Shit, shit, shit!” the pilot muttered to himself as he maneuvered the ship among the sea of space junks.

The Normandy danced nimbly among the debris that looked suspiciously like broken parts of some ships. For the longest while, Shepard could only watch helplessly without saying a word. This was Jeff Moreau at his finest, and she was not about to divert the man's attention from his task.

There was no end to the mess in sight. None, until Shepard accidentally glanced up and saw an opening above.

“Up there, Joker.”

The pilot didn't need to be told twice. Tilting the ship's nose up, Joker threaded the needle through the field of broken parts and escaped the junk yard.

Joker slumped back onto his seat once they'd left the field behind. “Too close.”

Releasing the breath she had been holding, Shepard gave a pat on her pilot's shoulder. “Nice work, Jeff.”

Although nowhere as densely packed as the area next to the relay, debris could still be found scattering around as they ventured into unknown territory. Joker spared a second to take a curious look at all the space junks.

“These must be all the ships that tried to make it through the Omega 4 relay,” the pilot commented. “Some look... ancient.”

“I have detected an energy signature near the edge of the accretion disk,” said EDI.

That announcement sent a jolt to Shepard's heart, putting her back on alert. “Has to be the Collector base. Take us in for a closer look. Nice and easy.”

“Careful, Jeff,” warned EDI. “We have company.”

“What?” Joker barely dodged an incoming attack. “Taking evasive maneuvers!”

Shepard quickly grabbed onto the back of the pilot seat to steady herself. “Collectors?”

Miranda checked sensors. “Looks like drones--” Her words were cut short when one of the beams hit the Normandy.

“Now they're just pissing me off!” said Joker, fuming. “EDI! Take these bastards out!”

Spinning around, the Normandy returned fire, but not without taking some hit.

“How's the shield?” asked Shepard.

“Holding,” Miranda replied.

Another beam hit the Normandy, sending a shockwave throughout the cabin.

“They want another round?” Joker sneered. “Come on, girl, let's give it to 'em!”

“Alert,” said EDI. “Hull breach on the engineering deck.”

_Shit!_

Joker glanced at the holographic map of the ship; a section near the bowel was blinking in red. “It's in the cargo hold!”

“EDI, seal the cargo hold!” said Shepard immediately.

“Cargo hold sealed. Intruder has boarded.”

“I'll take a team and deal with the intruder,” Shepard told her pilot. “You get the rest of them off our tail.”

“Aye, aye, Commander.”

Shepard pressed her earpiece as she hurried down the hallway with Miranda right at her heels. “Garrus, Kaidan! Hull breach in cargo hold. Intruder has come aboard. Meet me there asap!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Cargo Hold

 

The sphere-shaped drone was larger in person, with its diameter as wide as Shepard was tall. Still, she had faced worse enemy. Fighting a giant floating sphere inside a crammed cargo hold didn't faze Shepard. Instead, it enraged her. First the Collectors, now this drone. She'd had it with these goddamned intruders on her ship.

And this time, it had even blown a hole on her ship. _Goddamnit!_

But unlike the Collectors, this one refused to go down.

“No good!” shouted Miranda after taking cover. “We're barely scratching it with our bullets!”

Garrus rolled behind another crate to dodge its particle beam. “We'll need heavy weapons to take this thing down!”

“I got this!” Shepard switched to her arc projector. “The rest of you, switch to incendiary ammo.”

“We can overload its shield simultaneously, lowering its defense before you attack,” Kaidan suggested, reloading his rifle.

“Do it.”

“Careful, Shepard,” warned Miranda. “An explosion in close quarters will kill us all.”

“The only one who's gonna die here is this thing.” Shepard glanced at the prototype gun in her hand, fully charged and ready to kill. “Overload its shield. Now!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

Like some annoying bugs, those little assholes just wouldn't give up. They were incredible fast for its size, and nimble too. And they had certainly proven their firepower by cutting a hole on his ship.

Joker groaned in annoyance.

A field of massive debris appeared up ahead as Joker tried his best to shake off those sons of bitches. An idea suddenly came to him.

“We're sitting ducks out there, Commander,” Joker kindly reminded Shepard through the radio. “I have to try to lose them in the debris field!”

He heard the sound of gunshots before Shepard answered, “Do what you have to!”

“Our kinetic barriers are not designed to survive impact with debris that size, Jeff,” said EDI.

Jeff. EDI had been calling him by his name lately, and Joker had decided he quite liked the sound of that.

“Then I guess it's a good thing we upgraded,” said Joker. “We're going in.”

It's a maze in there. With exceptional maneuvering skills, he could lose those annoying little buggers once and for all, _if_ he could pull this off. Was this plan crazy? No, it's downright insane.

_Guess I've spent too much time with Shepard._ Joker aimed the ship straight at it.

It was a tight squeeze inside the field, worse than he'd thought.

Joker winced as the wings scraped against the debris. “Come on, find some room.”

So far, his plan worked. He had lost a few of those buggers already. Only two more on their tail.

“Kinetic barriers at 40 percent,” said EDI.

A quick glance at the sensors told him the one of the last two drones had crashed into the debris.

“Reroute non-critical power! This is gonna hurt!” Joker braced himself as he steered the ship through the maze, hoping against hope that the barrier would hold for another few seconds until they were clear.

And his insane gamble paid off. At last, they were out of the maze. Those little annoying bastards were nowhere in sight.

“Damage report!” said Joker.

“Kinetic barriers steady at 30 percent,” said EDI. “No significant damage.”

It was then Joker released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He sat back and adjusted his hat out of habit. He needed a freaking break after that.

“Take the helm, EDI.” For once, Joker relinquished the control of his baby to his trusty co-pilot. “Keep it slow. See if we can avoid any more attention.”

Just when he thought it was all over, EDI announced, “I have detected another enemy heading for the cargo hold.”

“That thing again.” Joker shook his head with a frown. “This one's up to Shepard.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Cargo Hold

  
  


“Another one incoming!” warned Garrus.

“Shepard, behind you!” Miranda shouted.

Shepard barely managed to dodge the particle beam coming from behind. Rolling to her new cover, Shepard cursed under labored breath then yelled, “Strip its shield!”

Three explosions hit the drone in quick succession. Shepard jumped out of her cover and squeezed the trigger of the arc projector. The drone staggered, its single red eye glowed brighter by the second. By now, Shepard knew she had three seconds before she had to dodge. She released the trigger just in time, and leaped away from the incoming attack. Through her armor, she could feel the heat from the particle beam. If it hit her for longer than a few seconds, there would be nothing left but a pile of ash.

_No, this is not a one-way trip._ “Keep at it!” said Shepard. “Take down its shield!”

The glow around Kaidan flared blazingly bright as he switched his attack. A biotic globe flew across the cargo hold and hit the drone, pushing it to the far end of the room while stripping away part of its shield. Two overloads from Garrus and Miranda quickly followed. Shepard aimed directly at its now-closed eye and pulled the trigger, pinning the drone further against the wall before it could recover from their coordinated attacks. She had only seconds before the eye snapped open.

The power level on the arc projector had been depleting rapidly. Thirty percent. Twenty-eight percent. Twenty-six percent.

_Shit!_ Shepard scowled, but her finger never left the trigger. _Come on, come on, come on!_

Another round of biotic and overload attacks commenced simultaneously. The drone's red eye opened and began to glow as its beam was rapidly being recharged.

_Three seconds,_ Shepard began to count as she continued her relentless attack out in the open.

_This is not a one-way trip._

Twenty-four percent.

_Two._

“Aerin, get out of the way!” Kaidan yelled.

_Not yet._ The drone's eye turned white-hot, ready to fire. Still, Shepard refused to relax her trigger finger and stood her ground.

_One._

And then, all of a sudden, its shield was gone. The laser beam from her arc projector burned through the previously impenetrable shell of the drone. For a split second, the floating globe was glowing as bright as the sun before its incinerated surface began to disintegrate.

“Oh crap!” Garrus gasped.

“DUCK!” Shepard flung herself behind the nearest pillar, barely escaped an explosion sent a shockwave throughout the cargo hold. A wave of flame and debris washed over her despite the protection from the pillar.

Just as quickly as it had happened, the turbulence stopped, the flame was gone. The only reminder of the battle that had taken place was the mess that was left behind. Scattered pieces of the broken drone, the scorch marks of its particle beam, and endless destroyed cargo crates.

Panting hard, Shepard stepped out of her cover and surveyed the damage with a scowl. There was a hole on the hull that needed to be fixed before they could make it back home. _If we could get out of here alive_ , a tiny voice inside her mind reminded her bluntly. Shepard promptly shoved that thought away.

“I imagine that's the last one,” Miranda breathed a sigh of relief.

“For now,” said Garrus. “There has to be more of them out there.”

“We can't keep this up forever,” said Kaidan, the glow around his body began to subside.

Kaidan was right, she knew. “Let's bring this fight to them,” said Shepard, “and end this once and for all.”

“Better get back up there, Commander,” said Joker through the comm. “We're about to clear the debris field.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

“There it is,” said Miranda. “The Collector base.”

“See if you can find a place to land without drawing attention,” said Shepard.

“Too late,” Joker told them. “Looks like they're sending out an old friend to greet us.”

From afar, Shepard could see a ship detaching itself from the main structure. Her brows knotted tight as she recognized that oddly shaped vessel.

“That's the same ship on Horizon,” said Kaidan quietly.

“And the same one that attacked our old Normandy,” Shepard added, her frown deepened.

The Collector ship turned and aimed its course toward them, its weapon systems suddenly grew bright. Without another warning, it fired.

The Normandy danced away at Joker's command.

“Time to settle a score,” said Shepard, narrowing her eyes at the vessel that had destroyed her ship and her crew. “Show them our new teeth, Mr. Moreau. Fire the main gun.”

“For our old girl,” said Joker as he hit the control. The thanix cannon fired; its beams hit the enemy, shattering its hull. Joker pumped his fists in the air in triumph. “How do you like that, you sons-of-bitches?”

Still, Shepard was far from satisfied. She wouldn't be until the Collector ship was obliterated. “Get in close and finish them off,” she ordered, her voice cold as ice.

The Collector retaliated, its beam followed the Normandy closely, nipping at her tail.

“Everybody hold on – gonna be a wild ride!” Joker tilted the ship up and gave it a wide berth before spinning it around and headed straight at the Collector vessel.

Right in front of them was the very same ship that had taken everything from her – her life, her plans, her future. Shepard saw red. “Fire!”

The pilot punched the control with his fist. “Give 'em hell, girl!”

The cannon fired once again, this time up close at the hull of the enemy ship. Within seconds, the Collector vessel exploded in a giant ball of flame. Joker pulled the Normandy away just in time to avoid the explosion and flying debris, but not fast enough to escape the shockwave.

The turbulence from the explosion knocked the Normandy off its course. The floor underneath Shepard's boots shifted in all directions, tossing her unceremoniously off her feet.

“Mass effect field generators are offline!” said Joker. “EDI, give me something!”

“Generators unresponsive,” EDI reported. “All hands brace for impact.”

The Normandy tumbled in the air like a broken toy ship when one of her wings took a hit on the outer structure of Collector base. The impact sent Shepard smacking hard onto a console. Dazed, she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her close in a protective embrace.

Then, a loud boom came, along with it a violent bump in the cabin, as the Normandy landed on her belly, scraping along the side of the Collector base. One hand pressed her close, holding onto her firmly. Shepard felt the familiar static discharge of biotics – a discharge that came with older implants.

The roughest ride seemed to last forever, but eventually the Normandy skidded to a stop.

“You all right?” Kaidan asked, loosening the arms around her.

“Yeah...” she breathed. “Thanks.”

Kaidan's attention shifted to something behind her; his eyes suddenly widened. “Joker!”

Shepard turned to see their pilot slumping over the seat. “Shit!” She immediately scrambled back on her feet and rushed to her friend. “Joker, you okay?”

“Ungh...” Joker groaned in pain, trying to straighten up. “...think I broke a rib. All of them.”

“Multiple core systems overloaded during the crash,” reported EDI. “Restoring operation will take time.”

Pushing herself off the floor, Miranda sighed at the news. Her voice was laced with uncharacteristic resignation when she spoke, “We all knew this was likely a one-way trip.”

“No,” said Shepard firmly. _This is NOT a one-way trip._ “I'll do whatever it takes to stop the Collectors, but I'm not going down without a fight. We still have most of our crew. They can fix the ship while we storm the base.”

“I'm glad you're in charge,” Joker commented under his breath.

“Is the ship safe here?” Kaidan asked.

“I do not detect an internal security network,” said EDI. “It is possible the Collectors did not expect anyone to reach the base.”

“If we're lucky,” Joker added, “their external sensors were hit like we were. They might not know we're alive.”

“Joker, you have the ship. Get it back online,” Shepard ordered. “Miranda, assemble the team in the briefing room. We need a plan.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Communications Room

 

“This isn't how we planned this mission,” said Shepard to her team, “but this is where we are at. We came to stop the Collectors, and we're going to do just that. Joker and the crew will fix the ship and get her back online. Meanwhile, we'll continue our mission to take out this station. But first, we need a plan. EDI, bring up your scans.”

A holographic image of the base lit up at the center of the table.

“You should be able to overload their critical systems,” said EDI, “if you get to the main control center here.” A part of the map was lit up.

“That means going through the heart of the station,” said Miranda. “Right pass this massive energy signature.”

“That's the central chamber,” said Shepard. “If our crew of any of the colonists are still alive, the Collectors are probably holding them in there.”

“There are two main routes,” said Garrus. “We should split up to keep the Collectors off balance, then regroup in the central chamber.”

“No good,” said Miranda. “Both routes are blocked. See these doors? The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side.”

“It's not a fortress,” said Shepard, magnifying the map. “There's got to be something.”

“There's a ventilation shaft that leads to the other side,” Kaidan pointed out. “It looks big enough for a person to go through.”

“Practically a suicide mission,” said Jacob. “I volunteer.”

“I appreciate the thought, Jacob,” said Miranda, “but you couldn't shut down the security systems in time. We need to send a tech expert.”

“It's your call, Commander,” said Jacob. “Who do we send into the shaft?”

Someone who could hack through anything. And fast.

“Legion.” Shepard turned to the Geth. “I'm sending you into the shaft.”

“Acknowledged.”

Tali shifted as if to protest, but Kaidan stopped her with one tiny headshake. Their exchange – however subtle it was – didn't escape Shepard's eyes. But she chose to ignore it and continued, “The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage. That should draw the Collectors' attention away from what you're doing.”

“Commander, we need a leader for the second team,” said Miranda.

“Anyone but you, Cheerleader,” Jack spoke up. “Nobody wants to take orders from you.”

“This isn't a popularity contest!” Miranda snapped right back. “Lives are at stake.”

“Enough!” interrupted Shepard before the argument continued. She had just the person in mind. “Garrus, you're in charged of the second team.”

Garrus stared at her for a brief moment as though he was uncertain if he had heard right. Meeting his eyes, Shepard gave him a firm nod before he returned the gesture with a hesitated one.

As the ongoing crisis didn't seem to stop the internal conflicts between some members, Shepard had to take extra care to split the team in two.

“Kaidan, Tali, Jack, Grunt, Zaeed.” Shepard looked at each in turn. “All five of you go with Garrus. The rest, come with me.”

She noticed a subtle shift in Kaidan's expression; a look of shock and disappointment flashed across his face before he masked it with his usual professionalism. He wanted to be by her side, Shepard knew. But she needed him to watch over her turian twin.

This was it. They were minutes away from entering the lion's den, and ending the human abduction once and for all. Shepard studied the holographic map in front of her for a moment, picturing herself storming the base, killing every Collector in her way.

“I don't know what we're going to find in there,” Shepard spoke up once more, scanning her teammate one by one, “but I won't lie to you. It's not going to be easy. We've lost good people. We may lose more. But lives depend on us. We don't know how many the Collectors have stolen – thousands, hundreds of thousands. It's not important. What matters is this: Not. One. More.” Shepard planted her hands on the table. “This ends with us. Here. Today.”

Her team nodded, all determined.

She pointed at the map and continued, “Those bastards have been kidnapping people for more than two years. They want to know what we're made of? I say we show them! Let's bring our people home.”

“Let's do this!” Grunt roared.

Leaning against the wall next to the young krogan, Zaeed nodded his approval. “About time to tear those assholes a new one.”

“Get ready,” said Shepard. “Bring enough firepower to annihilate an army. We'll head out in five.”

When the group began to file out, Shepard stopped her turian twin. “Garrus, a word.” She took him aside and started in a low voice, “Today is your chance to prove to yourself once and for all that you're dead wrong.”

“I don't know what you mean.”

“What happened on Omega is still haunting you, isn't it?”

His eyes widened, his mandibles twitched ever-so slightly.

“You can fool everyone,” said Shepard, her voice low as a whisper but sharp as a knife. “You can even fool yourself, but you can't fool me.”

He didn't deny her claim. He couldn't, for they both knew she was right.

“You lost your squad to betrayal, and you think that makes you a bad leader. Wrong! That's Sidonis' fault, not yours! The Garrus Vakarian I know is a wicked shot, an exceptional tactician, and a damned good leader. I know you better than anyone in this galaxy, Garrus; I know you have it in you. It's high time for you to vanquish your demon. Sidonis has destroyed enough lives, and I refuse to let him destroy my own brother!”

Garrus remained quiet. Although Shepard noticed a fire ignited in his eyes as he listened to her every word.

“I could never have come this far without you, Garrus,” she continued with a softer tone. “There's no Shepard without Vakarian. Always remember that.”

“And definitely no Vakarian without Shepard,” her twin offered sincerely.

Shepard had to swallow hard to keep her emotions in check. “Damn straight. Now, go lead your team and kill everything that moves inside. Go give them hell, Garrus.”

Garrus nodded, now standing a little taller. “I won't let you down, Aerin.”

She flashed a tiny smirk. “I know. You wouldn't dare.”

The door closed behind Garrus. Everyone was gone. Shepard glanced at the now-empty room one last time, wondering if this would be the last time she'd see it.

_No. This is not a one-way trip._

She steeled herself and exited, only to find Kaidan waiting patiently for her outside the hallway.

Shepard stopped just a step in front of him. For a brief moment, they merely stared at each other, none of them spoke. There was no need for words; his eyes said it all, loud and clear.

_I love you, too._

“Watch over Garrus,” Shepard told him, breaking the temporary silence.

“You know I will. But what about you?”

_If I don't come back..._

“I'll be fine.” She forced a thin smile for his sake. “My team is just as good as yours, Major.”

He touched her cheek. His glove was a bit cold and rough on her skin, but Shepard didn't mind a bit. “...Just be careful out there.”

“Hey, when this is over--” Shepard stopped herself. Try as she might to sound cheerful, she was failing miserably.

There were many things she wanted to say, promises she wanted to make. A house by the Pacific coast on Earth, marriage, kids... But Shepard couldn't bring herself to voice anything; she couldn't break his heart again. No empty promises of a happily ever after. Instead, she gave him a lingering kiss on his lips.

“Come on,” said Shepard, giving him one last smile before donning her commander mask, “let's save the galaxy together. Again.”  
  


* * *

 

A/N: And things hit the fan. If you need a break from all the gloom and doom, biotics flinging and bullet dodging, I wrote a short fluffy piece about Shepard and friends in Christmas, called (unimaginatively) “White Christmas.” It's post-game, with Aerin Shepard. So it might or might not be considered an epilogue for this story, depending on how it ends. (I know how it ends, I have the last scene already written, but no spoiler.)

If you want to check it out, here's the link. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10885077/1/White-Christmas

My next update will probably be on the Christmas story (it's very short, no more than three chapters), then come back to this one and continue with choke full of action scenes. See you back here in two to three weeks. Happy holidays!

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	40. Into the Lion's Den

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 39: Into the Lion's Den

Year: 2185CE

Location: Collector Base

 

Here he was. The Collector base. Leading his own team to help his best friend save humanity. His own team... Although his carefully crafted exterior didn't show any hint of emotions, that term brought back memories – the good, the bad, and...

The ugly. The betrayal. The deaths.

Garrus' grip on his sniper rifle tightened.

Erash. Monteague. Mierin. Grundan Krul. Melenis. Ripper. Sensat. Vortash. Butler. Weaver.

...And Sidonis...

His former team was gone. All that was left as a constant reminder was the names he had craved on his visor. It was up to him to continue their missions, to right the wrongs, to bring justice to this unjust galaxy. And today, they would put an end to human abduction.

His current team followed him into the base. Kaidan, Tali, Zaeed, Grunt, and Jack. Old friends and new ones. All put their lives in his hand, as he trusted them with his. Together, the six of them marched silently into the lion's den, while Shepard and her team took the other route.

_It's high time to vanquish your demon_ , Shepard's quiet but firm voice rang inside his head.

Shepard was right, and Garrus was thankful for the chance – a chance to prove to himself that he was not a failure.

_Let's put a bullet in the demon's head._

The interior of the Collector base looked similar to their vessel. Dark and hive-like. Faint blue glow pulsing from both Kaidan and Jack illuminated the dark hallway. Tali and Grunt had their shotguns up and aimed at every dark corner, ready to blast the head off of anything that moved. Tali's drone hovered above her, following like a loyal companion. A few steps behind them, Zaeed guarded the rear with his trusty assault rifle. The mercenary looked back every few steps, checking for an ambush that had yet to come.

Kaidan's omni-tool lit up, adding an orange glow to the existing biotic blue. He checked with the map then gave Garrus a nod. “This is it.”

Garrus stopped at the end of the hallway. “Now we wait for our signal.”

“I hate waiting.” Grunt paced around, smacking his huge fist into his open palm. His punches and his footsteps filled the quiet hallway with rhythmical taps.

“This is too goddamned quiet,” said Zaeed, looking down toward the path behind them.

The glow around Jack flared for a bit. “Come on, just give me something to kill.”

“Yeah!” Grunt agreed with a louder smack of his fist.

“Be careful what you wish for,” Kaidan replied. There was an edge in his otherwise calm voice.

Tali shone a light from her omni-tool to the walls around them. She gasped, “This place looks like some insect hives.”

“That's right,” Garrus suddenly recalled, “you missed our fun field-trip aboard the Collector vessel.”

Her light shone up to the bumpy ceiling covered with what looked suspiciously like sacs of eggs, down to the uneven ground that resembled cracked skin. “This is creepy...” Tali turned off the light with a shudder. “You think this whole place looks like this?”

“From what we saw on their ship? Yeah,” said Garrus. “This is their idea of cozy.”

“Nah,” said Jack. Then a wicked smirk spread. “...It will get worse.”

“Kee'lah.”

Then, Shepard's voice came through the radio, “All teams, report.”

_Finally._ Garrus immediately stood to attention.

“We are in position,” said Legion. “Exterior temperatures slightly elevated. No obstructions detected.”

“Garrus?” said Shepard.

“In position.”

“Let's do this.” Shepard took an audible breath. “Legion, proceed.”

“Acknowledge.”

“Go give them hell, Vakarian.”

“You too, Shepard,” Garrus replied. “See you on the other side.”

“Be careful, everyone. Shepard out.”

Garrus turned to his team. Previous chatter was all but gone. Game faces on and guns in hands, all were ready to storm the base.

Thirteen of them versus the entire Collector army. The odds were definitely stacked against them. But... why the hell not? No one had ever said delivering justice was easy.

Garrus nodded toward the path ahead. “You heard the boss. Let's go give them hell.”

 

* * *

 

Four more.

Dodging an incoming attack, Shepard rolled to a new cover and reloaded her rifle. Among the endless sounds of gunshots, a loud biotic explosion suddenly erupted not far from her, quickly followed by the dull thumps of bodies dropping from mid air.

With her gun loaded and ready, Shepard peeked out of the cover.

Two more.

Her bullets took care of the one nearby, while a headshot from Thane's sniper rifle dropped the other.

The sound of the final gunshot echoed throughout the open chamber. Shepard allowed herself to take a long breath and lowered her weapon.

“That's the last one,” said Jacob.

“For now,” Thane added.

That she agreed. “Let's move on before reinforcement arrives.”

Miranda checked her omni-tool then pointed to a path on the left. “This way.”

It had been more than twenty minutes since she'd heard from either team. Shepard tapped on her ear piece as she made her way down the path. “Status report.”

“Proceeding,” said Legion through the radio. “Exterior temperatures continued to elevate.”

“You okay there, Legion?”

“This unit is functioning at optimal capacity.”

“Garrus here,” her turian twin reported in a moment later. “We're taking heavy fire, but we're moving forward.”

Shepard frowned. “All right. Keep pushing.”

“Watch out,” Miranda warned after they rounded the corner. “Reinforcement incoming!”

“Those bastards are fast,” Jacob commented as he moved behind a cover.

“Effective as an unit,” Mordin observed. With his omni-tool lit up, the professor was prepared to burn his enemies alive. “Suspect hive mind.”

Hive mind or not, they had to die. A handful of Collectors had landed on the platform ahead of them, blocking their path to their destination. Shepard didn't even bat an eye; killing another five or ten of them was merely a drop to the bucket of her current kill count.

If the Collectors thought throwing bodies at her would stop her from her mission, they were dead wrong.

Shepard took down the nearest one before it could attack. Then swiftly dodged and leaped behind a new cover before her enemies could pin down her location. Bullets and biotics flew across the battlefield. They were outnumbered, but it was nothing new. This group of Collectors would die soon enough, just like the previous groups. And so would any others that were waiting for them further inside the base.

One of the Collectors managed to get within melee range while Shepard was distracted by another. The surprise attack took down half of her shield. Cursing, angry at herself for the mistake, Shepard kicked the gun out of its hands and jammed the butt of her rifle in between its eyes. With adranline and expensive implants on her side, Shepard delivered a blow with enough force to crack its skull. The Collector fell on its back. Shepard finished it off by stomping on its throat, severing its spine.

Her shield had begun to regenerate by the time she was done. Shepard moved onto the next target without giving the fallen enemy a second thought.

And then, she heard it.

“Assuming control.”

“You've got to be kidding me...” Shepard scoffed and whipped around.

The Collector she had just killed rose up in the air, revived in its new form, basking in yellow glow. “We are harbinger.”

“Oh, shut up!” Shepard fired at it indiscriminately. Her experience told her, whatever form it took, Harbinger or not, it could be killed.

With its wings expanded from its back, Harbinger flew high above, firing both insults and attack beams simultaneously. Shepard turned a blind ear to anything it said, not because it insulted her, but because it bored her.

Like an annoying bug, Shepard eventually squashed it down with her bullets.

“We are not finished,” claimed Harbinger as it incinerated into a pile of ashes.

“Waste of bullets.” Shepard snorted and focused on the rest of the enemies. Whatever this Harbinger wanted from her, she would eventually find out. And then, she would kill it once and for all. Now, she just needed to find where that coward was hiding.

Switching to her sniper rifle, Shepard found her next target through her scope and lined up a headshot. Her bullet pierced through the head that had started to rise from the cover at the far end of the battlefield. Her target dropped and never rose again.

The enemies started to thin down. Five more to go.

“Assuming direct control.” Harbinger possessed another corpse.

Shepard swore under her breath. “I don't have time for this,” she mumbled then ordered aloud, “Kill that son of a bitch!”

Bullets and biotic attacks hit the transformed Collector in unison. Within seconds, the possessed body dropped from mid air like a giant insect with its wings torn. Working like a well-oiled machine, her team automatically shifted their focus back on the remaining enemies, each knew their role without the need of further communication.

Bullets found their targets across the battlefield. Three down. Five to go.

Two Collectors suddenly fell on their knees. Samara remained as serene as ever as she remotely ripped their internal organs apart with her biotics.

Two more headshots rang almost simultaneously, one from each sniper rifle, just as the last Collector was set aflame by a sudden combustion.

“Enjoy,” Mordin muttered, lowering his omni-tool.

Bodies scattered across this huge chamber, but none of which were her people.

“No signs of enemies,” Jacob reported after a quick scan. “But we should get the hell out of here before they come for a rematch.”

“Agree. Let's move.” Shepard heard a beep in her earpiece as she proceeded down the path.

“Garrus here,” a voice came in. “We're making good progress.”

Finally, some good news. Shepard took right turn, following Miranda who had the map up on her omni-tool.

“How are things on your end?” asked Garrus in a conversational tone. Shepard took it as a good sign.

“Harbinger showed up.”

“Of course he did. So, heard any new insults this time?”

There were two men in the galaxy who knew how to lift her spirits with just a few words, and she was talking to one of them. Shepard was glad for a brief mental break. “I wish. Heard worse from my drill sergeant within the first hour of my bootcamp.”

“Ah, the military. The only place where insults are considered prep talks.”

One corner of her lips twitched up slightly. “Maybe I should show that asshole the art of proper trash talk. It's gonna show up again, I'm sure.”

“When it does, put a bullet in between its eyes for me.”

“Garrus?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks. I needed that.”

“Meet you at the rendezvous.”

 

* * *

 

Music played through the audio link from his visor as he pulled the trigger. Bullet flew across the opposite end of the battlefield and hit its target right in between its eyes.

“One less to worry about,” Garrus mumbled under his breath as he lined up for another shot.

It was a habit his father would frown upon, listening to music during battle. “Concentrate on your shot, son.” That stern voice still rang loud and true inside Garrus' head after all these years. “Never give your enemy a chance to retaliate.”

But, even his old man had to approve of this particular tune – the turian imperial anthem, 'Die for the Cause.'

_No. No one is going to die on my watch. Not this time._

Another bullet. Another one down.

Shotguns, assault rifles, sniper rifle, biotics. Short range, middle range, long range. Whatever the situation called for, they were well-prepared. Or at least Garrus thought so, until he heard a loud curse.

“Over there!” Jack pointed at a moving dark cloud.

“Seeker swarms!” Kaidan warned.

“What the hell?” Zaeed scowled. “I thought they're not supposed to detect us!”

“Oh crap! They're coming!” Garrus leaped down from the high ground he had perched on. “RUN!”

His team didn't need to be told twice. They sprinted down the path, ignoring the remaining few surviving Collectors on the way. The bullets from the Collector's rifles scorched his shield. Years of training demanded Garrus to turn and fire at the bastards for shooting at him, but his experience with those annoying bugs told him one simple fact: If he wanted to live, he had to run.

His instinct to survive overrode his need for retaliation. Garrus ran, hoping his shield could take a few more hit.

“The door is up ahead!” said Tali a few paces ahead of him.

“They're gaining on us!” said Zaeed, glancing back at the swarms behind.

The door was there, down the slope. Garrus could see it. Now, if Legion could just open that damned--

A group of Collectors suddenly dropped down from above, blocking their path to the door.

“FUCK!” Jack let out a primal yell. Garrus shared her sentiment.

Reinforcement in front, seeker swarms behind. Perfect ambush. Garrus would have applauded the tactic if he wasn't on the receiving end.

Kaidan halted to a stop and turned to face the swarms. “Jack, biotic shield!”

“What?” the petite woman frowned in confusion.

“Biotic shield. Now!” Kaidan repeated firmly, holding up a barrier in front of him. “Garrus, take care of the reinforcement. We'll hold off the swarms!”

There was a fraction of a second of hesitation. Was he about to sacrifice two biotics to save their asses? No. No, he had to trust his teammates. More than anything, he trusted Kaidan; they had been through hell and back. The man had always been the voice of reason, always level-headed.

Garrus immediately set up shop behind a cover. “You heard the man! Take them down!”

Scoped and dropped. Scoped and dropped. Just like he had done so many times in the past decade. Only this time, he was a barrier away from killer nanomachines. Still, Garrus concentrated on the enemies in front and ignored the threat behind.

“Stay within the barrier,” Kaidan warned the rest of the team.

“This better works, Alenko,” said Jack. “Or I'll fucking kill you.”

“Field-tested on Horizon.”

“Shit! Here they come--” Jack's words were cut short by a surprise gasp.

With his target in sight, Garrus couldn't spare a glance at the two biotics, but he could easily guess what was happening.

Jack let out a sudden laugh of relief. “It works!”

Garrus released a breath he didn't realize he was holding, then pulled the trigger. Scoped and dropped.

And so the battle continued while the two biotics held off the swarms. All six of them stayed within the protection a dome-shaped shield.

“Go help them,” Garrus heard Jack said after a short while. “I got this!”

From the corner of his eyes, Garrus saw a glowing figure leaped over one cover and rolled behind another. Seconds later, one Collector floated high above its cover involuntarily.

_Biotics._ Garrus' bullet ended the life of that helpless creature.

“You're making it too easy, Kaidan,” Garrus quipped over the sound of gunshots as he reloaded his sniper rifle for another round.

“Want me to make them fly around for you to shoot?” asked Kaidan after he methodically overloaded the shield of one enemy then finished it with his gun.

“Nah.” Garrus shifted his rifle ten degree to the left. Target in sight. Trigger pulled. Another one down. “Is that what you guys do on your date?” he asked idly while scanning for the next clear shot. “You make bottles fly around for Shepard to shoot?”

There was a faint chuckle before a ball of biotic energy flew across the battlefield beyond the barrier and knocked one enemy off the platform. And another one down. “You know,” said Kaidan, switching back to his gun, “She might actually like that. Thanks for the idea.”

“We're in position,” Shepard's voice came through the radio. “Legion?”

“We have arrived,” said the Geth. There was a sound of the metal vent being kicked open, followed by a mute thump.

Garrus shifted his attention back to the battlefield. Four more to kill. Five guns on their side. The odds were good.

“We need this door open, Legion,” Shepard urged. “Now!”

Two down. Two to go.

“The door has malfunctioned,” said Legion. “Path blocked.”

“Come on, Legion, you can do it.” Shepard's voice was almost drowned by the sound of bullets spraying from her rifle.

“Feel the blood rage!” Grunt charged toward the last enemy and rammed it off the platform.

Finally, their path was clear. They made it. Garrus stood from his cover. “Come on! Let's move--”

“Reinforcement!” Jack shouted.

Garrus turned and saw another horde of Collectors had arrived behind them. The door in front of them remained sealed tight. “Oh crap!”

Shepard must have heard him through her radio. “Garrus!”

Ignoring Shepard for the moment, Garrus yelled, “Get to the door. Now!”

Kaidan ran back to Jack and held the barrier for her. “Go.”

Still, Jack hesitated. She glanced at the door behind, then back to the man next to her.

“Go!” Kaidan urged.

The bald woman wasn't going to wait for another invitation. Letting go of the shield, she ran to join the rest of the team, waiting at the door. A few steps in front of the door protecting them, Kaidan slowly backed up while maintaining the barrier to keep the swarms away. But the Collectors had landed and fast approaching.

“Vakarian!” Shepard tried again. “Come in!”

“You're not going to like this, Shepard,” said Garrus. “Seeker swarms.”

Shepard cursed aloud in the radio. “Legion! Forget about our side. Get the door for Garrus. NOW!”

Garrus stared down at the approaching horde behind the dark cloud of seeker swarms. No, he refused to go down like this, not with his back to the wall like a prey waiting to be skinned. If he had to go down, it had to be done in style, nothing short of all guns blazing.

Garrus reached for one of the grenades on his belt, then calmly asked his friends, “Ready for some fireworks?”

“Bring it!” said Grunt, shotgun pumping.

And then, the softest hiss came from behind, followed by Legion's monotonic voice, “Complete.”

“About damned time-- Goddamnit, it's jammed,” Zaeed grumbled and pried the door open with Grunt.

Garrus and his team retreated through the gap, just as Shepard and hers came in from the other door.

“Here they come,” warned Shepard, backing up as she squeezed the trigger. “Fall back!”

“Suppressing fire!” said Garrus, firing at the incoming Collectors through the gap. “Don't let anyone through that door!”

“Kaidan!” Tali shouted. “Come on, hurry!”

“Get your ass back in here, Alenko!” Jack yelled. “I'll cover you!”

Dropping his hand, the biotic barrier dissipated. The swarms immediately closed in. Kaidan turned and dashed for the door where Jack stood within. Her body glowed blindingly bright.

“Out of my way!” It was the only warning she gave before the petite biotic let out a primal shout and released her attack. Biotic force flew through the gap of the door and spread in an arc, knocking down any incoming bugs.

But it was merely a temporary delay of the inevitable. More swarms had arrived along with Collector foot soldiers.

“Shut that damned door now!” Shepard ordered and hurried to Kaidan, who gave her a faint nod of assurance and a few soft-spoken words.

Relief washed over him. Garrus leaned against the wall, shutting his eye, taking in a few much needed breaths.

“Nice work, Legion,” he heard Shepard said to the Geth. “I knew I could count on you.”

And then he felt a hand on his arm. Garrus opened his eyes and saw his human sister standing right in front of him. Despite a new bruise and a fresh cut on her face, despite the faint sheen of sweats on her skin, Shepard flashed a smile. A proud one. “You too, Garrus. Nice work.” The hand on his arm moved and landed the softest punch on his shoulder. “I knew you're a good leader.”

“I learned from the best.”

The smile turned into a smirk. Shepard held up her palm, and Garrus smacked it lightly with his. It was a strange human custom, one that was taught to him by the commander herself not long after they'd first met. While Garrus never quite understood the reason behind this gesture, he knew the meaning of it. The camaraderie, the friendship, the celebratory. In short, a job well done.

But their brief celebration was cut short when Miranda called out from the other side of their temporary safe haven, “Commander. You need to see this!”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: Shepard and friends are back with more actions after a quick break over at the cute and fluffy side story. Hope you had a good holiday season.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	41. House of Horror

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  


Chapter 40: House of Horror

Year: 2185CE

Location: Collector Base

 

To say the chamber was massive would be an understatement. Kaidan glanced up. The ceiling high above him faded into darkness. Hundreds of tubes coming from various sections across the chamber were merged into several much bigger ones hanging in the air, all traveling toward one particular direction into a tunnel. Along the wall lined hundreds and thousands of elongated pods standing side by side of each other. Pods that looked like odd-shaped coffins. Kaidan knew exactly what these tanks were for. Human. One in each pod. He had seen these before, back on Horizon.

Miranda approached one of the pods nearby. “Civilian outfit,” Shepard's XO pointed out. “Probably one of the missing colonists.”

Kaidan was almost too apprehensive to look through the windows of the pods, too afraid to find some faces he might recognize from Horizon. But then, half of the colony had been abducted under his watch, he owed it to the survivors to find out what happened to their loved ones. After all, he had failed to protect them. If he had just gotten the turrets online before the attack...

Steeling himself, Kaidan stepped up to a tank in front of him and looked inside. Through the window on the lid, Kaidan saw a middle-age man within. His eyes were closed, his skin had turned bluish gray. Motionless with no signs of life.

_Dead._

Inside the next pod was another man, younger than the previous one, but looked just as dead. An older woman was next. Then another man. All dead. And in this case, death was certainly preferable to the alternative.

The next face froze Kaidan in his tracks. It was the same face that had greeted him on the landing zone the day he'd reported to duty on Horizon. The same face he had seen everyday during his mission.

“Lilith!”

Shepard hurried by his side. “You know her?”

Kaidan nodded, looking away from the dead body of his friend. It took him a moment to find his voice again. “...We worked together on Horizon.” _And now, she is dead._

“I'm sor-- My god! She's still alive!”

He whipped around, only to find the woman inside began to twitch as though their voices woke her up. “Get her out of there!”

Try as they might, they couldn't pry the tank open. The lid was locked tight. Blue glow flared around him unconsciously; Kaidan could feel his biotics building up inside his veins, demanding to be unleashed. Yet, he reined it in with a firm grip, mentally suppressing his powers before he lost control. He couldn't blast the tank without injuring his friend within.

Just then, Lilith snapped open her eyes and stared at them in absolute horror. She banged the enclosure with her fists, screaming at the top of her lungs, desperately trying to get out.

Caution be damned. Kaidan grabbed Shepard and pushed her behind him. “Stand back!”

In the blink of an eye, the skin on Lilith's face suddenly and rapidly disintegrated. Blood spattered on the window of the tank as the skin cracked, the muscles underneath started to melt off of her bones. Her scream, though muffled by the tank, was deafening.

He quickly fired two consecutive biotic attacks, setting off an explosion against the tank. With Shepard tucked safely behind him, his shield absorbed the up-close impact from the blast. The lid flew open, the woman within was finally free. But what came out of the tank was no longer a person, but a gush of thick liquid and a partial skeleton that continued to melt like candle wax thrown into fire.

Petrified, Kaidan could only stare at liquefied remains of his friend on the ground, too shock to say a word, too shock to even to look away. Lilith's last scream, her last futile punch on the window, the horror look in her eyes, all forever burned into his mind.

“There's more! Over here!” Thane called out, drawing his attention away from the horrible sight.

Miranda gasped. “It's our crew!”

“Get them out of there!” Shepard shouted, running to the other pods. “Hurry!”

He couldn't save Lilith, but he could still save the rest of the crew. There would be time to mourn later, right now he had a job to do. Regaining his composure instantly, Kaidan sprang into action. The team spread out and smashed tanks with their weapons. Thankfully, the pods had yet been locked. One by one, the Normandy crew stumbled out of their prisons, very much weakened but mostly unharmed.

“Chambers.” Shepard helped a young woman Kaidan recognized as the friendly yeoman in the CIC. “Are you okay?”

Chambers gasped for air before she could reply, “Commander? You... you came for us.”

“No one gets left behind.”

“Thank god you got here in time. A few more seconds and... I don't even want to think about it.”

“What happened?” asked Miranda.

“The colonists were... processed. Those swarms of little robots, they--- melted their bodies into gray liquid and pumped it through these tubes.”

Shepard scowled. “What for?”

“Have a theory,” said Mordin. “Not pleasant.” The professor paused and grimaced. “Human fuel.”

Human fuel. It made sense in the most sickening way. Melting skin, flesh, organs, and bones within the pod. Tubes connected to the each pod gathered liquefied remains. Thousands of pods, thousands of Liliths. Kaidan felt his stomach turn.

“We have to stop this,” said Shepard, her voice firm and sharp. She then tapped on her earpiece. “Joker? Can you get a fix on our position?”

“Roger that, Commander,” said Joker. “All those tubes lead into the main control room right above you. The route is blocked by a security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you are in.”

“I cannot recommend that,” said EDI. “Thermal emissions suggest the chamber is overrun with seeker swarms. Mordin's countermeasure cannot protect you against as many at once.”

“Those bugs again?” Garrus shook his head in dismay.

“Conventional weapons are pretty much useless,” said Shepard. “They'll tear us apart.”

“There's another way,” said Kaidan. “I used my biotic shield to keep them at bay in Horizon.”

“Shit, that's how we survived just now,” Jack added. “I could put a barrier up and hold it as long as you cover my ass.”

“Samara?” Shepard asked, looking at the justicar.

“Yes. It's possible,” said Samara. “I won't be able to protect all of us, but I could get a small team through if they stay close.”

“Then we'll split up again,” said Shepard. “Samara, Jack, you two hold a biotic field for each team.”

“What about the crew?” asked Kaidan. “They're not in any position to fight. And we can't leave them here.”

“We can't afford to go back,” said Miranda. “Not now.”

“They'll never make it back to the ship without help,” said Shepard, who then paused for a second to think. “Tali, Mordin, escort them back. Tali, help Joker bring the ship back online. And Mordin, Chakwas will need extra help in the med bay.”

“Understood,” said the professor.

“Joker, I'm sending the crew back.” Shepard then turned to Tali. “I need the Normandy ready asap. Give me everything you've got.”

Tali nodded, her voice solemn. “Yes, Captain.”

“All right. Let's move!”

Kaidan glanced back at the thick liquid on the ground, the only remains of the woman he had worked with daily on Horizon. The pods next to hers were now emptied; the rest of the colonists had already been liquefied along with Lilith. No more. This had to end here. Whatever it was at the end of all the tubes, whatever machine that required human fuel, Kaidan vowed to destroy it, or die trying.  


* * *

 

The way to the main control chamber was not without resistance, whether they were on foot surrounded by seeker swarms, or traveling down the tunnel upon a platform. But it was nothing Shepard and her team couldn't handle. They had come a long way; each came from a different corner of the galaxy, all united with one single goal: To stop the abduction.

With the last Collector down, the latest attack wave was over. Shepard hit the control on their platform and resumed their journey. The platform continued to cut through the air, delivering them closer and closer to their final destination. The tunnel was dark, lit by nothing but biotic glow and lights from the omni-tools. Faintly, Shepard could see the tubes along the side. And within those tubes was liquid... liquefied human...

Shepard scowled at that thought, at the horrified image that she had witnessed a moment ago. The woman within the pod – a friend of Kaidan's – had melted right in front of her eyes. Her hair, her skin, her flesh, down to her bones...

Taking a deep breath, Shepard willed herself to still a shudder. She cast a concerned glance at the man beside her. Kaidan had been quiet, more so than usual. Although dark, his biotic glow highlighted him bright enough for her to study his profile. His eyes, unfocused, glued to a spot far ahead, his jaw set.

Shepard reached out to place a hand on his arm, taking him out of his reverie momentarily. His gaze met hers, she held it for a brief moment then gave him a nod. Not a word was exchanged, but her unspoken message was received. In silent response, he took her hand in his, curling his fingers around hers tightly.

She would be here for him. And, together, they would make the Collectors pay.

Soon enough, a tiny dot of light appeared at the end of the tunnel, announcing their destination.

“This is it,” said Miranda next to her. “All the tubes lead to this spot.”

“EDI,” Shepard broke her silence, “any information about the area?”

“The tubes are feeding into some kind of super-structure,” replied the AI. “It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures. Given this readings, it must be massive.”

“Massive, but it can be killed or destroyed,” said Shepard, adjusting her grip on her rifle. She had faced the same problem before with Sovereign. If they could kill something as big as a Reaper, they could kill anything.

The platform continued to travel forth; the light grew bigger and bigger. Shepard's grip on her gun tightened in anticipation. None of them spoke another word as the platform carried them to the end of the tunnel.

“If my calculations are correct,” stated EDI as the platform emerged from the dark tunnel into a massive open chamber, “the super-structure...” the AI trailed off as if it hesitated.

Shepard squinted at the sudden brightness. As her eyes adjusted to the light, Shepard drew a sharp breath at the sight in front of her.

The tubes coming from the tunnel had spitted into four groups. Each flowed into a large clear injection tube full of liquid – liquefied human remains. The end of each injection tube was attached a giant a metallic skeleton torso as tall as a building, hanging in the middle of the chamber by the tubes attached to its 'wrists' and 'shoulders.'

Gasps were heard from her team. “My god...” “What the hell is that?”

EDI continued, “...is a Reaper.”

No, that thing did not look anything like Sovereign. In some twisted way, Shepard wished she was staring at the bug-shaped Reaper. But it wasn't. Shepard felt her blood drain from her face as her head became light. Yet, she couldn't tear her gaze away from the abomination in front of her.

The Reaper was far from completed. A strips of 'muscles' had been attached the forearm, 'tendons' started to form around the joints on its elbows. All exposed in plain sight. But its metallic skull was formed, as well as the basic bone structure down to its ribs. The shape of its skull was unmistakable.

“Not just any Reaper,” she heard herself replying to EDI. “...A human Reaper.”

“Precisely.”

The platform stopped with a jerk as it docked at its station. The shake shook Shepard back to reality.

“Why would they do this?” Kaidan quietly voiced the question Shepard had.

“I don't know...” Shepard shook her head. “What do the Collectors gain by turning humans into this... Reaper shell?”

No one could even attempt to guess, except for EDI. “They may be facilitating the Reaper equivalent of reproduction,” the AI speculated. “Or it may serve another purpose. I do not have the data to speculate further. However, it is clear that the Collectors are merely pawns. The technology and ability needed to create this Reaper is not their own. It is likely that different species construct each Reaper. In this case, the Collectors provide the labor.”

Miranda observed with a grimace, “They took tens of thousands of humans just to make a skeleton torso. They might need millions to complete a full human Reaper.”

“Millions. Perhaps more,” said EDI. “Impossible to know for certain. This Reaper appears to be in a very early stage of development. An embryo in human terms.”

“So it's not alive?” said Miranda. “We can still stop it from being... created.”

“The process can be stopped,” EDI confirmed, “but it is unclear exactly how much it has developed. I cannot, for example, tell you if it has awareness.”

“This thing is an abomination,” said Shepard, scowling. “Alive or not, it has to be destroyed. EDI, how do we kill it?”

“The large tubes injecting the fluid are a weak structural link. Destroying them should cause the supports to collapse, and the Reaper to fall.”

Garrus glanced down into the chasm below. “I can't see the bottom. Not even a Reaper could survive the fall.”

Zaeed chimed in, “Even if that son of a bitch survived, we're gonna blow this place up.”

“Explosions. Yeah, I like that.” Grunt smashed his fist into his open palm. “Come on, Shepard, what are we waiting for?”

Four injection tubes. Each filled with colonists the Collectors had abducted in the past two years. Tens of thousands of lives were lost because of it, because of the Reapers and their twisted idea of reproduction. She had to end this and bring the war to the Reapers.

“Let's take this thing down,” said Shepard, pulling out her arc projector and aimed. “Shoot the injection tubes!”

Bullets flew at her command. Within seconds, four tubes exploded simultaneously. With its only supports severed, the Reaper fell into the abyss.

Shepard stepped close to the edge of the platform and watched it disappear into the darkness below. The sounds of explosions echoed back from the chasm, confirming the destruction of human Reaper.

“I'm glad that's over,” said Miranda with a sigh.

“Not yet. We need to destroy the base.” Shepard tapped her earpiece. “Shepard to Normandy. Status report.”

“This is Tali,” a voice came in. “The core is back online.”

“Nice work. Joker, prep the engines. I'm about to overload this place and blow it sky high.”

“Roger that, Commander. We'll do a pickup at the nearest landing zone.”

“The control console is hidden on the floor panel,” said EDI. “I will guide you to the exit when you are ready.”

Shepard turned to her team. “Head back to the Normandy. Clear a path for me when I make a run for it.”

“I've been saving these for special occasion,” said Garrus as he handed her a few explosives.

“Let's finish this.”

This was it. An end to the human abductions, once and for all.

 

* * *

 

Everything that could go wrong had gone south. Collector had hijacked the Normandy, kidnapped a third of their crew. The ship itself had crash landed on the Collector base. The only thing that didn't go wrong in this mission was the Lazarus Project – the commander herself.

Yet, somehow they did it. Mission accomplished. Now the only thing left was to destroy the base and make it back to the other side of the relay.

Miranda let out a subtle yet long sigh of relief.

The rest of the team had retreated, except for Miranda, Kaidan, and Garrus. The three of them remained behind to guard the commander as she commenced the final phrase of their mission. One deliberate system overload, a few well-placed explosives, and down this base would go.

And Miranda was glad to wipe this place out of existence. Even with her innate scientific curiosity and her high tolerance for gore, Miranda knew she would be haunted by the horrors she had witnessed here for a long while. Humans liquefied alive, turning into building blocks for a humanoid Reaper fetus...

Miranda tightened her arms across her chest to stop a shudder.

“Uh, Commander?” Joker's voice came through to provide a welcome distraction. “I've got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man. EDI's patching it through.”

“The Illusive Man?” Shepard looked up from the console and frowned. “What does he want?”

“He didn't say,” the pilot replied.

“Ignore him, Aerin,” said Garrus. “We don't have time to deal with him right now.”

“He wouldn't call if it's not urgent,” Miranda reasoned. _If only you knew how much it'd cost him to make a call like this._

Shepard considered for a second, then went back to the task at hand and said, “Let's see what he has to say.”

Miranda booted up her omni-tool and projected a holographic image of her boss.

“Shepard,” the Illusive Man greeted. “You've done the impossible.”

“I'm not done yet,” Shepard replied without looking up. “I still have to destroy the base.”

“Not necessary. I have a better option.”

Shepard said nothing but continued to set up the overload sequence.

“I'm looking at the schematics EDI uploaded,” said the Illusive Man. “A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact.”

 _He wants to keep the base?_ Miranda frowned at the implication. This place was an abomination. Surely the Illusive Man could see that with the data he already had. Even he wouldn't go that far.

...Would he?

“This is our chance, Shepard,” the Illusive Man continued despite being ignored by the commander. “They were building a Reaper. That knowledge – that framework – would save us.”

_Bloody hell! He wants to build his own Reaper. No. No, he can't be serious..._

That got Shepard's full attention. Scowling, the commander looked up with a glare that could burn a hole into the hologram. “They liquefied people! Turned them into something horrible. We have to destroy the base!”

“Don't be short-sighted,” the Illusive Man chided. “Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them.”

The old Miranda would agree with the Illusive Man's ruthless pragmatism. But now, after this mission, after spending months with Shepard, something in Miranda had changed – for the better.

“I'm not so sure,” Miranda spoke up against her boss. “Seeing it firsthand... using anything from this base seems like a betrayal.”

“They were working directly with the Collectors,” her boss ignored her and continued to sell his idea to Shepard. “Who knows what information is buried there? This base is a gift. We can't just destroy it.”

This was way out of line. This was not the Cerberus she had joined, not the organization she had devoted more than a decade of her life.

Thankfully, the commander saw through the ruse. “You're completely ruthless.” Shepard snorted. “The next thing I know, you'll be wanting to grow your own Reaper.”

“My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers. At any cost. I've never hidden that from you. Imagine how many lives could be saved if we keep this base intact and use its knowledge to thwart the Reapers. Imagine the lives that will be lost if we don't.”

The Illusive Man always knew where to hit. Miranda noticed the slightest twitch on Shepard's face at the last dramatic line.

_No, don't do this, Shepard._

Shepard's gaze subtly shifted to Kaidan, who gave her a faint yet firm shake of his head. The pragmatist in Shepard might be tempted, but the moral compass in the shape of a man grounded her. Behind the hologram of her boss, Miranda shook her head, adding to the silent protest of her fellow biotic.

“Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed,” said the Illusive Man, sounding sincere. Too sincere. “I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some would say what we did to you was going too far. But look what you've accomplished.” Again, the man knew exactly which button to push. “I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Don't be so quick to discard this facility. Think of the potential.”

 _He didn't discard you because you were our only hope, our one last weapon. We are tools, Aerin. A means to an end. Tools for him to use to get what he wants,_ Miranda wanted to add, but something about Shepard's harden expression told her that the commander had made up her mind.

“No matter what kind of technology we might find,” said the commander, “it's not worth it.”

“We've won a single victor. But we're still at war!” said the Illusive Man, making one last push. “This base will give us the technology we need to fight the Reapers. There are billions of lives are at stake. Leadership means making sacrifices. You know that better than anyone, Shepard.”

“We'll fight and win without it. I won't let fear compromise who I am.”

Miranda couldn't be more proud of her friend.

It was then her boss turned to face her. “Miranda! Do not let Shepard destroy the base!”

“Or what?” Miranda snapped. “You'll replace me next?”

Shepard stared at her with just a hint of a smirk, looking half-amused half-proud.

“I have you an order, Miranda!” her boss barked, his cool composure began to crumble

“I noticed,” Miranda replied coldly. She had enough of this crap. All debts she had owed Cerberus had been paid throughout her years of service. “Consider this my resignation.”

“Shepard!” the Illusive Man tried again, sounding more desperate than Miranda had ever heard. “Think about what's at stake! About everything Cerberus has done for you. You--”

Miranda ended the transmission abruptly. That was perhaps the most satisfying thing she had done in a long time.

Surprisingly, Alenko raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a nod. Miranda found herself chuckle under her breath for a second despite the situation. She had quit; all her ties with Cerberus had been severed, just like that. The weight on her shoulders was now lifted – weight she didn't even realize she had been carrying until this very moment. And it felt... liberating.

“Commander,” Joker's voice came through again. “The team has arrived. We're waiting for you.”

“How long did it take them?” asked Shepard.

“Fifteen minutes,” Kaidan replied.

“I'll see the bombs to ten minutes. Should be more than enough if we don't have to fight any Collectors.”

Soon, a final beep confirmed the explosives were armed and ready.

“Let's move,” said Shepard. “We've got ten minutes before the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart.”

Guided by EDI's directions, the four of them spirited down one hallway after another and navigate through the maze. The bodies of dead Collectors scattered randomly across. Miranda ran ahead of the group and cleared the path with her biotics.

“Human,” a voice echoed out of nowhere. “You've changed nothing.”

_Harbinger._

“Keep moving!” said Shepard. None of them slowed down.

“Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction.”

“Will it ever shut up?” said Garrus, guarding the rear.

“Ignore it!” said Miranda, tossing another corpse out of their way.

“You have failed,” claimed Harbinger. “We will find another way. Releasing control.”

As if the base was controlled by Harbinger, the floor underneath them suddenly shifted as the walls started to crumble.

_No, it's not ten minutes yet!_

“What the hell-- Watch out!” Shepard warned.

Miranda leaped over a piece of the fallen structure and continued to run for her life. One step after another, she was closer to exit, closer to a brand new start. She had survived a suicide mission, and she was not about to go down with the base. There was nothing in the world that would stop her from running. Or so she thought, until she heard a loud bang from behind, then came Shepard's gasp.

It was a split second decision. Less than one heart beat. She could either follow her survival instinct and run, or follow her heart to check on her friends.

The old Miranda would choose to run, but she was no longer the same woman.

Miranda looked back.

The platform a few steps behind her had collapsed, yet stubbornly hanged onto the rest of the structure along one edge. The metal floor sloped downwards like a giant slide on a playground – a slide that ended not on a patch of shock-absorption foam, but into the bottomless abyss.

Behind her stood only two figures. One was missing.

“Garrus!” Shepard screamed.

And then, the unthinkable happened, too fast for either Miranda or Kaidan to react. Shepard leaped and flung herself down the slope, sliding down on her stomach, her arm reaching out, desperately trying to catch the turian sniper.

Aerin Shepard, the Lazarus Project, the woman she had spent two years rebuilding, her only real friend in many years... Miranda's blood froze. For the first time in her life, fear immobilized her.

Then, a sudden movement next to her snapped Miranda back to reality.

“No!” She put a firm hand on Kaidan's arm, restricting him from going after Shepard.

“Get out of my way!”

Shoving the desperate man behind her before he could throw his life away, Miranda's biotics flared and aimed at N7-armored figure. She could pull Shepard back. At least she could save one of them.

But it was a second too late. One after another, the blue figure and the black one reached the far end of the platform and dropped into the abyss, as two voices screamed in unison, “AERIN!”

 

* * *

 

A/N: A cliff-hanger. Literally. Never thought I'd do that, but the chapter is getting too long. Writing this chapter made me feel sick, might need to shift gear to write something cute and fluffy to bleach my mind.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.


	42. Against All Odds

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 41: Against All Odds

Year: 2185CE

Location: Collector Base

 

“Alenko?”

Frozen in shock, Kaidan could only stared at the collapsed platform in front of him.

“Kaidan, what's going on?” Joker's voice came through among statics once again. “Shepard isn't answering.”

Neither Kaidan nor Miranda could bring themselves to give the pilot an update. Shepard had disappeared. It had only been less than a minute since Shepard and Garrus had disappeared from their sight, but time stood still.

“Kaidan? Do you copy?” Joker tried again. “Hello? Anyone there? Come on. Don't leave me hanging! EDI, you sure the comm is not malfunctioning?”

It was then Miranda answered the call, “We are here, Joker.” The woman's voice sounded shaken. “A platform has collapsed, taking Garrus down with it. The commander went after him.”

“What the...”

“Of course. Why didn't I think of it sooner?” Miranda suddenly mumbled to herself, then ordered aloud, “EDI, scan for vital signs from Shepard's armor.”

Kaidan turned to stare at Miranda upon her request. Even Shepard's armor was bugged? He didn't know that. But whatever twisted reasons Cerberus had decided to track Shepard's vital signs, right now Kaidan was glad they had gone this far.

“Feedback from the armor confirms Shepard is alive,” said the AI.

She's alive. The surge of relief was overwhelming.

EDI continued, “Elevated heart rate, blood pressure, and perspiration indicate she is under extreme physical stress.”

_Injured?_ Kaidan frowned. “What about Garrus?”

“No data available,” EDI replied. “Garrus Vakarian's armor has not been modified.”

Kaidan couldn't wait any longer. “I'm go down there.”

“You are not!” Miranda stopped him.

Kaidan glared at her incredulously. “Aerin is down there. Probably injured. I'm going after her, and I'm not asking for your permission.”

“I can't let you risk that. If any of us stepping onto the platform, it may collapse. They _will_ die!”

“You have any better ideas?” Kaidan fired back.

For once, the know-it-all Cerberus woman couldn't answer. Deflated, Shepard's XO shook her head in defeat.

 

* * *

 

The joint on her right shoulder threatened to snap. The fingers on her right hand gripped onto the edge of the platform they had fallen from. Those five fingers were the only things that kept two lives hanging on a delicate balance.

Still, Shepard was not about to give up. The Collectors had killed her once, she was not about to let them kill her again.

“Let go of me,” a voice below her said. But Shepard only tightened the grip on her left hand.

“Shut up, Vakarian,” Shepard answered, trying her best to mask the strain in her voice. “No one's gonna die here.”

“You're running out of time, Shepard. Let go--”

“I said shut up and hang in there! That's an order!”

Joker's frantic calls had stopped. Shepard wished she could reply to the worried pilot, but both her hands were to busy to reach her earpiece. From a distance, she heard voices echoed down faintly from the ledge above. Kaidan and Miranda remained, and Shepard had a feeling neither would flee until she made it up there. And if they didn't escape before the base exploded...

Not two, but four lives were currently hanging on her fingertips.

It's time to put all her expensive implants to the ultimate test. Shepard let out a raw grunt as she tried to pull herself and her turian twin up with one arm.

The platform creaked then suddenly buckled at her effort. Shepard gasped, hanging onto the edge for her dear life – as well as the life of her best friend.

“Shepard, save yourself!” Garrus repeated once more. “This place is falling apart!”

Shepard knew he was right; they were running out of time. But she couldn't leave Garrus behind. She wouldn't.

“No! No Shepard without Vakarian!” Then with a loud groan, she summoned everything she had and heaved both of them up enough for her forearm to rest along the edge. Then, inch by inch, Shepard dragged her upper body onto the platform, pulling her turian twin up.

Suddenly, the weight on her left arm lightened. Alarmed, Shepard looked over her shoulder to find Garrus had already managed to grab onto the edge with his free hand, pulling himself up. Shepard finished her awkward belly crawl to safety, dragged her lower body and Garrus along.

Sprawling across the metal surface in exhaustion, Shepard chuckled under her labor breath. “...Reminds me of PT.”

“One arm pull up with a turian as resistance weight?” Garrus quipped, panting. “Didn't know the Alliance recruits use turians for their physical training.”

“Alliance secret. Only in N-school.” Getting back on her feet, Shepard tapped her ear piece. “We're still alive,” she told Kaidan and Miranda. “Heading up now.”

The twins made their way up the steep and unsteady slope. Standing at the ledge above, Shepard spotted two dark-haired biotics waited anxiously.

“I see them!” said Miranda.

But today wasn't her lucky day. Before Shepard could even wave, a sudden explosion shot a fiery mushroom cloud up from the abyss below, tearing the platform off from the structure, tossing the two figures on it high up in the air.

The sound of explosion covered Shepard's scream as she was sent flying high above. Losing her footing, Shepard couldn't recover in time when the platform underneath her succumbed to gravity and started to plunge into the darkness below.

_Oh shit!_

Time seemed to slow down, every millisecond played in front of her eyes.

Along with the platform, Shepard dropped. But she had to make one last struggle to survive. Rolling back on her heels, Shepard leaped, aiming toward the solid ground. Her upgrades helped her jump higher, but still not enough to compensate the rapid increase in distance.

But before her momentum ran out, before she would plunge into an inevitable death, a familiar sensation surrounded her. A tingling static. Her body became weightless, hovering above the bottomless chasm for a second. Then, before she realized what was happening, her body was pulled toward the ledge and into the open arms of Kaidan.

Still disoriented, Shepard heard Miranda said, “I got him!”

“Nice aim,” Garrus mumbled a short moment later. “Much appreciated.”

Garrus was fine; Shepard released a heavy breath. A sudden ecstasy of relief washed over her. Her strength drained from her along with the air in her lungs. Kaidan tightened his arms around her, supporting her weight.

“You scared the crap out of me,” he told her quietly, his voice was stern, but the kiss that landed on the top of her head was soft.

“Yeah. Sorry.” She pulled away from the safest place in the galaxy and flashed a tiny smirk. “Doubt they could recover my body this time.”

Her joke, however, was met with a serious face.

“We should go,” said Miranda. “We have three minutes left. This way.” She then tapped on her earpiece as she led the way to the exit. “Joker, we've got them.”

There was an audible sigh of relief before the pilot said over the radio, “You owe me new pants, Shepard.”

“I recommend haste,” said EDI, who then announced, “Detonation in 167 second.”

“We're almost there,” said Shepard as she sprinted down the hallway. “Get the ship ready, Joker.”

“Damn!” said Garrus suddenly. “The Collectors are behind us!”

_Shit!_ “RUN!”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

“Come on. Come on. Come on.” Joker drummed his fingertips on the armrest. His gaze landed on the number on the screen – a number than changed every second.

58\. 57. 56.

He couldn't stand it any longer. Joker left his post and hobbled down the hallway. The airlock to his right was wide opened, four of Shepard's professional killers were there, ready to provide cover fire.

Crouching in front, Thane and Legion had their sniper rifles ready. Standing behind them were Samara and Jack, biotic glow pulsed around their form.

The rest of the team gathered in the hallway, waiting for the commander to return.

“I should be fighting instead of standing around!” Grunt complained, pacing restlessly while smashing his fist onto his open palm.

“Settle down, kid,” said Zaeed, leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

“Shepard-Commander,” said Legion suddenly.

“There they are,” Thane confirmed after peeking through the scope of his rifle.

Joker released a sigh of relief. He spared a glance at the countdown clock.

43\. 42. 41.

“Collectors reinforcement incoming,” Thane then added. “It's an ambush.”

“Fuck them!” said Jack while she started to glow so bright that Joker had to squint.

Then, almost in perfect synchronization, the biotics fired one attack after another, while the snipers shot with killer speed and precision.

Joker would definitely enjoy the show if there wasn't an imminent explosion hanging above their heads like a little dark cloud – no, more like a freaking storm cloud.

“Come on, come on,” he mumbled under his breath, anxiously checking the clock once again.

36\. 35. 34.

“Can't believe I'm covering the cheerleader's ass,” Jack grumbled then let out a raw cry as biotics flew from her extended hand.

Seconds later later, said cheerleader leaped through the airlock and landed safely back on the ship. Then, a turian followed, tumbling in.

25\. 24. 23.

“Kaidan, come on!” Garrus urged, leaning outward with his rifle to provide additional cover fire.

A dull thump on the floor announced the arrival of the major.

19\. 18.

_Better get ready._

Just when Joker was about to head back to his post, an explosion from outside stopped his tracks.

_SHIT!_

Joker felt his heart drop to his stomach. Then, there was a very subtle shake as though something had struck the side of the ship. Leaning over the airlock, Kaidan and Garrus reached down immediately and hoisted up a figure in black armor.

Joker's heart was about to burst when a familiar pretty face (now covered with dirt, bruises, and blood) looked up and issued one simple order, “Go!”

“Aye, aye!” Joker hobbled back to his post as quickly as his fragile legs could take him.

“Detonation in,” EDI started to countdown, “10, 9--”

“Yeah, yeah. I got the gist of it, EDI,” said Joker as he slid back onto his throne. “Hold on!”

Shepard's job was done, now it was Joker's turn to shine. His fingers danced nimbly all across multiple consoles in front of him; the Normandy was at his command.

What was the destruction of a giant evil lair like?

Joker wouldn't know. Before the base was completely obliterated, the FTL drive core had kicked in, and the Normandy was already lightyears away.  
  


* * *

 

A/N: A short update. Kind of busy lately, and didn't want to leave you hanging for too long (literally hanging, in Shepard's case). Aftermath of the event is coming, where TIM is pissed and Shepard is sad.

Thanks for reading.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  



	43. The Needs of Many

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 42: The Needs of Many

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Cargo Hold

 

Broken supply crates, destroyed control console, and a giant hole in the hull.

Shepard found herself standing in the midst of the former battlefield aboard her ship, staring at debris scattered across the cargo hole. The only thing that kept her from being spaced was a force field that temporarily sealed the doorway-sized opening made by the Reaper drone.

A hot shower somewhat reinvigorated her after her latest close encounter with death, but no amount of soap and hot water could wash away the horrifying images from her mind. Humans being liquefied alive, turning into fuel to feed a Reaper fetus. A human Reaper fetus...

Shepard took a sharp breath, shoving the memories away. All was gone now – the human Reaper, the Collectors, and the base, thanks to a glorious explosion they barely had escaped from.

This was it. This was the end. Mission accomplished.

“You shouldn't be here.”

Shepard turned to the voice.

“The force field won't hold forever,” Kaidan commented as he carefully stepped through the debris. “We should seal the cargo hold.”

“Right,” Shepard agreed. “Once we go through the relay, we'll make a stop at Omega to repair the ship.”

Kaidan nodded. For a brief moment, they both stared at the hole, each lost in their own thoughts.

“Hell of a fight down there,” Kaidan started quietly, breaking the silence.

“Hm.” Shepard turned to him. “We did it. No more abductions.”

“Those people in there...” Kaidan shook his head, frowning, no doubt was haunted by the same images Shepard was trying to forget.

“I'm sorry about your friend.”

“People in the Terminus Systems don't like us, but Lilith was friendly from the start.”

Shepard reached for his hand. His grip was tight, almost as if he was holding on to her for dear life.

“I keep thinking,” Kaidan continued, “if I could get there sooner...”

“There's nothing more we could have done,” said Shepard firmly. “She's been there for weeks. Even if we had opened the pod, she wouldn't survive.”

“I know. Doesn't make it any easier.” Kaidan turned to face her. “If you didn't save me from Horizon, I could be in one of those pods.”

It was a scenario that had been on the back of her mind since she'd witnessed the horror on the base. A scenario which would undoubtedly break her.

Shepard shook her head unconsciously as she batted that thought away. “But you're here now,” she told him, as much as she was telling herself.

There was a slight shift in Kaidan's eyes. Sentiment was replaced by determination. “We can't let this happen again.”

“And we won't,” Shepard vowed. “We'll take the fight to the Reapers. The Alliance needs to be ready.”

“Anderson and Hackett are on our side. The rest of the admirals, though...”

Shepard snorted. “They might not like me, but they can't argue with facts. And I have plenty of data.”

To that, Kaidan nodded. “We'll go back to Earth together, then. Schedule a meeting with--”

“We cannot be seen together.”

“But--”

“Kaidan, listen,” Shepard interrupted again, forcing her voice to be crisp and curt. _I'm sorry. I love you, but..._ “The IA is after me, not you. I won't let them touch you. I need you to be out there and do what you want to prepare for the upcoming war.”

Although Kaidan remained quiet, Shepard could read him like a book. The conflict, the struggle, and, eventually, the reluctant acceptance.

“We'll head to Illium after Omega,” Shepard continued, her commander mask firmly donned. “You'll end your shore leave and take a shuttle back to Earth. Miranda will give you a summary for the convention you're supposed be attending. The return ticket has already been issued. As far as anyone knows, you are not here, and we haven't seen each other since Horizon.”

“...Understood.”

“I'm sorry. You deserve a medal for what you have done, but this has to be off-the-record.”

“You know I don't care about that. It's you I'm worried about.”

She knew.

“Your new position is waiting, Major.” Shepard lightened her tone. “Heading a brand new department is a challenge. Just the paperwork alone will keep you busy for a long time.”

He studied her, the way he always did when they were alone. “When will I see you again?”

_Soon_ , she wanted to say, but that would be a lie. Once she stepped through the gate, once the IA got their hands on her... “I don't know.”

There was a slight frown on his face. The truth sometimes hurt.

“What's the ETA?” Kaidan then asked.

“I told Joker to take his time,” said Shepard, swallowing hard. “We have to fix the ship first. Can't fly around with a hole in the hull.”

“...So we have a few more days, tops.”

Shepard forced a tiny smile. “You are not in a hurry, are you?”

“No.” He reached out to touch her cheek. “I was hoping for a little more time.”

_I love you. Stay with me._ Shepard swallowed those words and pulled him into a hug. Precious few weeks had come and gone. A few days was all they had left before they had to go separate ways once again. 

“Uh, sorry to interrupt,” Joker's voice came through the comm. “The Illusive Man is on the line, Commander. You want me to hang him up?”

With an irritated sigh, Shepard took a step back. “No. It's time to end this.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Communications Room

 

“Shepard,” the Illusive Man barked. “You're making a habit of costing me more than time and money. I should have known you'd choke on the hard decisions. Too idealistic from the start.”

“I'm not looking for your approval,” Shepard snapped right back. “Can't believe you wanted to keep that base. That place was an abomination. All the human lives lost--”

“In vain.”

There was a stab inside, yet Shepard fought to keep a frown from surfacing. “I made the right decision.”

“Did you? You and I both know the Reapers are coming, and you just threw away our best weapons.”

“Then I'll make sure we're ready when they get here, even without the Reaper tech.”

“'We'? The Alliance? Do you really think they can win this war?” The Illusive Man shook his head. “You are too short-sighted, Shepard. The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy. Against the Reapers and beyond.”

Shepard snorted. “Human dominance, or just Cerberus?”

“Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus is humanity.”

“Preach to your brainwashed minions all you want, but don't bring your bullshit to my house.”

“Your house? You are aboard _my_ ship.”

Shepard glared at the hologram of the man who had sponsored this mission. Their uneasy partnership had finally come to an end. “Not anymore. From now on, I'm doing things my way, whether you agree or not. You can either fall in line or step aside, but don't get in my way.”

“Don't turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you! I brought you back from the dead!”

“And I finished my end of the bargain,” said Shepard, spinning her heels. “Joker, lose this channel.”

“With pleasure, Commander.”

The brief exhilaration of finally cutting the ties was quickly replaced by the crushing reality. As power-hunger as he might be, the Illusive Man wasn't completely wrong to be skeptical. The Alliance alone wouldn't be enough to win this war. They needed the turians, the krogans, the asari, the salarians, the quarians, and perhaps even the Geth. A united galaxy...

“I see I'm not the only one who has handed in their resignation today,” a voice called for Shepard's attention. Outside the hallway, Miranda leaned against the wall with her arms folded, waiting.

“You think he's coming after us?” asked Shepard nonchalantly.

“Of course he is,” Miranda replied with the same amount of non-existing concern. “I almost feel sorry for the Illusive Man. Losing a four-billion credit investment, _and_ a state-of-the-art vessel.”

“And his right-hand woman,” added Shepard as they walked to the CIC side by side. “I'm glad you decided to leave. What are you going to do next?”

“Beside taking a long nap?” Miranda took an audible soft breath before she answered seriously, “I don't know, Aerin. For once, I don't have a plan. It feels... strange.”

“It's good to follow your heart. You should try it more often.”

“Last time I 'followed my heart,' I left my father.”

“A right decision. So is this one.”

“Except this time, there's no shadow organization to help me.”

“Well, there's the Alliance.”

Her XO shot her an incredulous look. “Thanks, but I'm not about to throw away my new-found freedom for an extended stay in some dark interrogation room.”

“If there's anything I can do...”

Miranda waved a hand. “If my sources are correct – and they usually are, you'll probably receive similar treatment if you ever step foot across the Alliance gate.”

Shepard knew; Hackett had warned her that much. “Believe me, I don't look forward to their special welcome.”

“Then don't go back,” suggested Miranda. “We have a ship and a crew.”

“And do what? Travel across the galaxy and be the pirate queens like Jack suggested? Or the vigilantes a la Archangel?” Although both suggestions were merely a joke, the latter was indeed quite tempting.

“I prefer space divas.”

That made Shepard chuckle. “I like the sound of that.”

“Do consider, my friend,” said Miranda sincerely. “You still have time to think about your next move while the ship is being repaired.”

The CIC was half crumbled, but functional. Shepard stepped up to the map. The galaxy was at her fingertips, but in reality she could never protect it all with just one ship. She needed to warn the Alliance.

Her freedom versus the lives of thousands. Tens of thousands.

_The needs of many outweigh the needs of the few,_ Shepard recalled a famous quote.  _Or one._

“I'm going to miss this.” Shepard glanced around the ship that had been her home for the past few months. “The ship, you, everything...”

A soft smile appeared on the perfect woman's face. “Then you'll be glad to know there is one more mission.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow, her eyes lit up.

“We've found the Shadow Broker, Commander.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Arcturus Station, Admiral Hackett's Office

 

Anderson sank down into a comfortable chair across Hackett. It was rare for both of them to be back on Arcturus at the same time, but this wasn't a chance encounter, nor was it a social call.

“Any news?” Hackett asked as soon as they were alone.

“She did it,” Anderson answered with three simple words. The pride he felt was clearly shown in both his voice and his rare smile.

“I'll be damned.” The admiral shook his head with a smile similar to Anderson's. “We owe her our lives.”

“Again.”

Hackett nodded in agreement. “Then it's time for her to come home.”

That Anderson agreed wholeheartedly. But the complication... “Internal Affairs will be all over her the second she lands.”

“I'll been keeping them off her back,” said Hackett. “But once she's back on Earth, there's nothing much we can do.”

Anderson snorted with a scowl. “We should be pinning a medal on her for saving humanity, not interrogating her like a goddamned criminal.”

“There are rules, David,” said Hackett with a sigh. “All we can do is to make sure the kid receives the best possible treatment.”

“How long are they planning to hold her?”

“Who knows?” Hackett shook his head. “Days, weeks?”

_Months._ It's time to take matters into his own hands. 

“The IA will need a guard to watch the commander,” said Anderson. “And I know the perfect man for the job.”

 

* * *

 

A/N: The title (and the quote in this chapter) is dedicated to my favorite character, Mr. Spock. LLAP.

Sorry about the delay. Took a trip to Kaidan's hometown. Alenko and I have something in common.

A side note: I was planning to write a short wedding story for Valentine's day (sequel to the Christmas one), but things got in the way. Maybe later.

Thanks for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	44. What We are Fighting For

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.  
  


Chapter 43: What We are Fighting For

Year: 2185CE

Location: Nos Astra, Illium, Liara's Office

 

No ship docked in the city without her notice. And when the name 'Normandy' showed up on the ever-updating list, Liara almost couldn't believe her eyes.

Shepard was back from the Omega-4 relay; she was alive.

How long had it been since she had last seen Shepard? Weeks? Months? Time seemed to blur when she had to process thousands of new information every day. Extortion, death threats, even assassination – everything she hated were now part of the job. Liara shut her tired eyes for a precious few seconds.

_This isn't who you really are, Little Wing,_ her mother's voice whispered gently inside her head.

No. No, it wasn't. But it was who she had to be if she wanted her revenge. Information was her business, and without it, she could never find the Shadow Broker.

_I'm sorry, Mother. I--_

A knock on the door signaled the end of her break.

“Come in.”

As expected, her assistant peeked in. “Dr. T'Soni. Commander Shepard is here to see you.”

_Aerin. So soon?_ Liara stood up all too quickly, her usual poise slipped. “Send her in.”

Then, through the doorway stepped in a tall figure wearing the jacket Liara had special ordered. Even without her armor, the commander looked striking. Healing scars and bruises on her cheeks told a silent story of her recent battles.

“Liara,” Shepard greeted with half a smile.

“Commander.” Liara kept her distance until her assistant had retreated and the door was sealed. “It's good to see you again, Aerin.”

“Same here. Brought you some souvenir,” said Shepard, who then put a strange looking pistol on the desk. The gun looked as if it was half organic, almost like a hive. “Didn't have time to drag a dead Collector off the base for you to dissect, but here is one of their weapons.”

“Thank you, Aerin. That's very thoughtful.” Liara held the pistol for a closer look.

In her research days, she would have immediately performed a dozen tests on the strange surface. The instinct was still there, yet she couldn't afford to be sidetracked by a hobby.

_Perhaps when this is all over..._

“How was the mission?” asked Liara, putting down the rare artifact.

A shadow cast across Shepard's features. “The Reapers were behind it. They were using the Collectors to build a human Reaper.”

“Goddess.”

The commander nodded, her lips pressed thin for a second. “They took human victims and... processed them into some sort of liquid fuel.”

Liara shook her head and had to lean against the desk for support. Of all the secrets she had heard, this one made her sick to her stomach. “The base and this human Reaper...”

“Destroyed,” Shepard told her. “Along with thousands of dying victims.”

Those blue eyes looked haunted. _The victims..._ Liara put a gentle hand on her friend's arm, offering her unwavering support. “You did what you had to.”

“Sometimes we can't save everyone, no matter how hard we try.” The commander then recovered in the blink of an eye. “I have some good news. It's about the Shadow Broker.”

Liara felt a jolt through her spin; her heart skipped a beat.

“Miranda gave me data on where to find him. Interested?”

“Absolutely!” she couldn't answer it fast enough. “I had no idea... Let me see what you've got!”

Shepard handed her a data disk which she almost fumbled and dropped when connecting it to her terminal.

“It looks like a leaked transmission between Shadow Broker operatives,” said Liara as she reviewed the details. “Some hints as to the location, and...” A picture of a drell popped up. “It's about Feron,” she gasped. “He's still alive.”

A weight that had dragged her down for two years had been lifted. Liara leaned back on her chair and stared at the screen.

“Feron.” Shepard tilted her head slightly to recall, “He's your friend who helped you recovered my body from the Shadow Broker.”

“Yes,” said Liara, letting out a long, tired breath. “After two years, I hadn't even dreamed...”

“Sounds like you and Feron were close.”

“It's funny. He betrayed me more than once. He was double-dealing for Cerberus, for the Shadow Broker... But in the end, he sacrificed himself for me. I owe him.”

“We'll get him back.”

“Thank you, Aerin.”

“It's your operation. What do you want to do next?”

For the first time in two years, her mind was utterly blank. “I... I don't know,” Liara uttered, shaking her head as if the action itself could clear her thoughts. “I need to prepare, to think.”

_No, not here._ There was only one safe place in the entire Nos Astra.

She pressed the comm and spoke to her assistant, “Clear my schedule for the next two days.”

“But the meetings--”

“They can wait. And you may take the rest of the day off after you are done. I'm going home.” Liara ended the call before her assistant could question her sanity. How much money was she going to lose for taking off like this? Liara didn't care. Nothing was more important than to find the friend whom she owed her life to.

“You okay?” Shepard asked.

_Yes. No._

“I've spent two years plotting revenge. Now I have the chance to make it a rescue.” Liara pocketed the data disk as though it was the most precious artifact. “Come by my apartment tomorrow evening. Hopefully I'll have a plan by then.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, XO office

 

Their exchange was brief and to the point. No small talks, no pleasantries, just the way Miranda preferred.

“All set?” Miranda asked.

“Yes,” Kaidan replied, handing a datapad back to her.

“I don't think anyone would question you,” said Miranda. “But in case your shore leave is somehow mentioned during small talks.”

To that, Kaidan nodded. “I know what to say.”

“Good.” Miranda leaned back on her chair. “The shuttle leaves tomorrow, 1800 hour.”

“I know.” The man's stoic face broke into a thoughtful frown.

She knew what was on his mind. _Twenty-four hours left._

“Thanks for the arrangement, Miss Lawson.”

“Thank you, Major, for your assistance on our mission.”

Kaidan nodded again, then turned to leave.

That was the end of their debriefing. And probably the last time they would ever interact. While they might never see eye-to-eye, Alenko had proven to be profession to the core. Miranda had to respect that.

“I've to say,” Miranda added after a brief yet throughout consideration, which ended with the conclusion: Why the hell not? “You surprised me.”

He raised an eyebrow at her statement, but otherwise said nothing.

“Your power is stronger than I thought.”

“It comes with a price.”

Perhaps it was a good place to stop. Yet Miranda found herself continued, “Ever considered upgrading your implant?”

“Yes,” Kaidan replied, surprisingly candid. “But not with the risk and the downtime.”

Paralysis, brain damage, or even death. In the hands of an average doctor, the risk would be high. But in her hands, if she could bring a charred body back to life...

_You don't have unlimited funds from the Illusive Man anymore, Lawson._

Miranda nodded understandingly. “Try acupuncture. Heard it's effective against migraines.”

If Kaidan was surprised she knew about his side effect, he certainly didn't show. “Well, thanks.” There was a brief pause, long enough for thousands of thoughts to be processed in a mind like Alenko's. “And for what it's worth, you surprised me as well.”

“Oh?”

“I was expecting you to betray us.”

His blunt honesty was refreshing. Miranda laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you. Aerin is a good friend; I'd never betray her.”

Miranda didn't expect him to take her words for it, nor was she about to explain her ties with Shepard.

Still, the man studied her as though he could read her mind. “She helped you, didn't she?” Kaidan asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

“My sister,” Miranda revealed quietly after a moment. “Aerin helped me save my sister. I'll never forget that.”

A hint of a smile surfaced on Alenko's face, a gentle but proud smile. “Aerin is the best friend a person could ask for.”

“If you could overlook the stubbornness and the innate destructive power.”

A corner of his mouth twisted further up ever-so slightly.

Suddenly, a movement on the security camera just outside captured Miranda's attention. “Speak of the devil...”

Then came a soft knock before the door opened and revealed the commander, not in her usual hoodie but in the black dress Miranda had bought her. The way Alenko lit up when Shepard stepped into the room was not lost to Miranda.

“I'm surprised you have the sense to change into proper outfit this time,” Miranda teased, giving the commander the once-over.

“What can I say? You taught me well.” Shepard then turned to Kaidan and asked, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Alenko replied, his eyes never left the commander once.

_If this isn't love..._ Miranda had to shake her head. But then, she remembered the harsh reality. Twenty-four hours left.

“Off you go,” Miranda shooed them away. “And don't come back tonight.”

The commander gave her a casual smirk before they both exited her office. Yet, she was not truly alone.

When Miranda opened up a window to resume a vid chat, a younger version of herself appeared on screen, busy typing some chat replies while giggling to some silent jokes.

For a moment, Miranda watched as the oblivious girl continued to talk to her friends. A gentle smile played on her lips, melting the icy mask. Her sister was free and happy, living a normal life, walking on paths of her own choices. A life Miranda had always wanted but could never have.

“Sorry about the wait,” said Miranda eventually to announce her return.

The girl turned to the camera and beamed at her. “Oh, hey, you're back.”

Miranda couldn't remember if she had ever smiled like that before. Probably never. In the end, though, it didn't matter, as long as Oriana could forever keep that smile. Whatever the price she had to pay for her sister's freedom, it was worth it.

“Now, where were we?”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Illium

 

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Shepard breathed. Her attention was on the skyline of the city, on the sunset sky. His was on her profile.

“Very.”

“Last time I was here, I wanted to show you the sunset. But...” she trailed off, then shook her head. “I'm glad you're here.”

“There's nowhere I'd rather be.”

“I don't know about that. Heard the weather in Vancouver is nice this time of the year.”

“It'll start to rain soon enough.” And tomorrow, he would have to head back.

“Yeah. A storm is coming.”

Kaidan knew what she meant. “Whatever it is, we will get through this.”

She turned and looked at him, bright blue eyes searching. “Tell me,” Shepard started after a brief pause, “Do you really think we can win this?”

Kaidan couldn't answer.

Shepard continued, “It took the entire Fifth Fleet to take down Sovereign. That's just one Reaper.”

He shared her concern. When an army of Reapers came through the veil... “I don't know. But I know we have to try.”

Slowly, she nodded. “We have to try and protect what we love.”

_You._ “It won't be easy. But nothing worth having comes easy.”

She studied him, thinking on what he had just said. Kaidan held her gaze and offered a reassuring smile.

“...Like us?” Shepard asked eventually.

“Yeah. Remember two years ago, after we took down Sovereign, we... made a deal.”

A tiny smile began to surface on her face. “That we'll spend the rest of our lives together.”

He was naïve then, thinking his happily-ever-after was right in front of him. Until she was taken from him one week after, without warning.

“Still valid?” she asked.

“Of course. And that's what I'm fighting for – our future.”

“Our future?” She repeated, amused. “And what exactly is that?”

“Hm...” He paused as if to think, even though he already knew the answer. “A nice apartment, marriage, kids.”

The corners of her soft lips curled up further. “How many?”

That was a question he had never considered. “I don't know, two?”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. “Two?”

It was a random number, but it felt right. “Why not? I've always wondered what it's like to have a brother or a sister. Don't you?”

“Well, yes, sometimes,” she admitted. “Wish I had someone to get in trouble with when I was a kid.”

“See? Besides, you'll be a good mom.”

To that, she laughed. “Don't know about that. But I know you'll be a good father.”

“Don't sell yourself short. If you can keep your ragtag crew in line, you can handle two kids.”

“Maybe...” Shepard considered, her lovely smile grew. “But let's start with one first.”

“Sure. That's usually how it goes,” said Kaidan, trying not to grin like an idiot. “Unless they're twins.”

“Oh god. Double the trouble.”

“Don't worry. Two of us versus the two of them. You chase after one, I'll take care of the other.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Shepard, chuckling.

For a moment, they merely looked at each other as the image of their future played in their respective minds. There was a soft, longing look in her eyes before her gaze sharpened to a determined one.

“So this is what we are fighting for,” Shepard broke the silence softly. “Not just something in grand-scale, but something personal.”

“Something very personal.” He took her hand and pressed his lips on where a ring would be someday. “Our future.”

Smiling, Shepard turned back to the horizon and rested her head on his shoulder. “Then I'll fight tooth and nail. Tear the Reapers limb from limb if they stand in my way.” She laced her fingers with his, forever intertwined. “Whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Nos Astra, Illium, Eternity

 

“So, you arranged the whole thing for Kaidan.”

Garrus never thought he would share a drink with Miranda, both willingly and peacefully. And yet, here they were, at a bar, with a beer bottle in his hand and a glass of wine in hers.

Miranda nodded. “That's what Aerin wanted.”

“Ah. Whatever Shepard wants, Shepard gets,” he mumbled with half a smirk. “Still, all these just to fool the Alliance?”

“Aerin is not wrong to be careful. With his history with Shepard, the IA has their eyes on Alenko. One wrong move...”

“And you know this, how?”

Miranda shot him a knowing look. “I have my sources.”

Of course she did. “So their Internal Affairs department is after Aerin? For what? Dissertation?”

“Officially. The real reason is damage control. They're afraid their perfect soldier has gone rogue.”

“Shepard does have a history of going rogue...”

“And she wouldn't the first officer to switch side.”

Still, it didn't make sense to Garrus. “Say, if Shepard did switch side, why would she even go back to the Alliance?”

“On the contrary,” said Miranda after a sip of her wine. “She'd be a perfect double agent. And she wouldn't be the first, either.”

“Hm.” Garrus glanced at the woman, somewhat intrigued, but mostly worried. “So, either way, Aerin is in trouble if she goes back--”

“You mean 'when,'” Miranda corrected him. “I've a feeling our commander has made up her mind. She's going back to do the 'right' thing.”

“She doesn't have to. We have a ship and a crew. We could set things right by ourselves.”

“I agree. But you know how she is.”

“Stubborn to the core.” Garrus shook his head with a quiet sigh, then took a drink from his bottle.

“There she is,” said Miranda suddenly, nodding toward the door.

The subject of their discussion arrived at last.

Curious, Garrus glanced at the clock. 18:21. Shepard had remained at the dock long after the shuttle had taken off.

Wordlessly, Shepard took the remaining chair by the bar.

Words had never been his strong suit. So, instead, Garrus waved at the bartender for a drink for his best friend.

Shepard downed the shot in one gulp then stepped away from the bar. “Come on, we've got work to do.” The commander was back. “Let's go meet Liara.”  
  


* * *

 

A/N: At the end part one, Shepard and Kaidan (kind of) talked about getting married. And now, they're talking about having kids. What are they going to talk about at the end of part three? Retirement? I don't know.

It's been two years since I first posted chapter one of part one. And we're coming to the end of part two. Took me way longer than I thought. Whether you've joined me when the story was still in its infancy, or a new reader who has just caught up with everything, thank you for reading. And I appreciate every bit of support from you guys; it keeps me going. It's a marathon, and Shepard's story is far from over.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	45. Unsung Heroes

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Chapter 44: Unsung Heroes

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Port Observation

 

What used to be an impressive collection of alcohol had been all but destroyed when the Normandy had crash-landed on the Collector base. What a shame. The new stock they had acquired from Omega and Illium would suffice for now. Garrus browsed the limited selection for a second before he reached for a particular bottle on the liquor shelves. Turian brandy.

The door opened and closed behind him, then came a quiet, familiar voice. “I knew I could find you here.”

“Nothing like a good drink after going through hell,” Garrus commented before he turned around and watched as Shepard settled herself onto the bar stool, resting her forehead in her hand.

“Headache,” Garrus observed. “How bad?”

“Not enough to kill me.”

Garrus retrieved a bottle for whiskey based on her answer. “Nothing is ever enough to kill you, Shepard. Even if it did, you'd just come back pissed as hell and ready to kick its ass.” Double shots of amber liquor filled the glass. “Here.”

She opened her eyes lazily and glanced at the offering. “You always know just what I need. Thanks.”

“Where's Liara?” Garrus asked, sitting down next to his human sister with a drink of his own.

“Left.”

“She's not going back with us?”

“She's the boss now. The Shadow Broker base is all hers. Besides, we can't pry her away from the console even if we try.”

“Still, being all alone on a ship that size.”

“She's not alone; Feron is there to help her.”

“I supposed...” Garrus conceded, taking a sip from his drink. “Our little doctor is now the Shadow Broker. They sure grow up fast.”

“Liara is older than both of us combined,” Shepard reminded him. “But, you're right. She has definitely changed.”

“I still remember the first time we met her. Trapped in that little bubble...” Garrus reminisced. “Good times.”

“Things were easier back then.”

“Were they really?” He shot Shepard a doubtful look. “You humans have a saying: Ignorance is bliss. Back then, we didn't know what's lurking beyond the veil, waiting to strike.”

“Now we know.” Shepard drained her shot. “I'd rather die with a gun in my hands than being caught unaware.”

“Going out gun blazing.” Garrus nodded his approval. “I like that.”

“Let's hope we still have time to prepare for the war.”

“You mean, let's hope everyone will believe us this time.”

Shepard snorted.

“You have to admit our story sounds a little crazy to most people.”

“Does it? Let's see...” Shepard leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Where do I start? I touched an ancient Prothean artifact which then exploded. After that, I had weird dreams about destruction and war. So I asked the Council to go to war with an unknown giant mechanical bug based on my vision, which they sensibly refused. Then we were sent to chase down a rogue Spectre. Along the way we destroyed his cure for the genophage, and nuked a planet. The Council grounded us, but we stole a prototype warship to chase after that giant bug to save the day.” She filled her own glass with a dry chuckle underneath her breath. “Guess it does sound crazy when I say it out loud.”

“And now another giant bug is coming,” Garrus continued the story. “This time, he's brought his friends. Lots of them.”

“Yeah...” she breathed, sounding oddly weak for once, as though all the strength had been drained from her. “We have to stop them. And you and I both know we can't win this one by ourselves.”

The Alliance.

“You sure you want to go back to the Alliance?”

There was the slightest pause, the barest hint of hesitation for someone who was usually decisive. “I have to, Garrus. What else could I do?”

“Well, we can keep our team and fight against injustice around the galaxy.”

“Storm the gates, right the wrongs,” Shepard continued for him. “You and me. A rogue Spectre and Archangel of Omega, running and gunning. Getting out of one mess just to jump into another.”

“You know it,” said Garrus, grinning. “It'll be fun, until the Reapers kill us all.”

“It does sound fun,” Shepard admitted, sucking in a long breath – a habit of her when she was troubled. “But I can't. Not with millions of lives at stake. That's why I have to go back.”

That sense of duty. It had been drilled into Shepard since she was just a child. And it made her a better turian than he could ever be.

“What are they going to do to you when you get back to Earth?”

Shepard shrugged. “Don't know, but I have to warn the Alliance. And you have to warn everyone on Palaven.”

Palaven... It was time to go back home. “I'll talk to my father. He is a friend of the primarch. I'll see if he can pull some strings. ”

“Think your dad is gonna believe our story?”

Would he believe? Garrus couldn't say, but damned if he didn't try. “My father and I may not see eye to eye – to put it mildly, but he's damned good detective. If the connection's there, he wouldn't deny it.”

Nodding, Shepard put a hand on his shoulder. “I'm counting on you, Garrus.”

“This is going to be the toughest fight in our lives, Aerin. Sovereign didn't go down without a fight. I doubt a thousand more of his friends would be any different.”

“That's what I love about you – the ever realist. Never have any illusions about what we're up against.”

“I'm not saying we can't win. Just don't expect to win without casualty.”

For a short moment, Shepard became thoughtfully quiet as she stared at the amber liquor in her glass. Humans and their delusional desire to save everyone... Garrus swallowed a sigh along with a sip of his drink.

“If we can kill one Reaper, we can kill a thousand of them,” Shepard mumbled as if she was talking to herself. She then turned to him and flashed a familiar smirk. “We just need lots of ammo.”

That's the Shepard he loved and respected. “And guns. Big guns.”

“Lots of them.” Shepard took a long look at him, smiling fondly, although there was more than a hint of sadness in her eyes. “I'm going to miss your ugly face.”

“And I'm going to miss you dragging me through hell every day.”

She chuckled under her breath. “Promise we'll see each other again before we die.”

“Oh we will. Life won't be complete without seeing you again before my last breath.”

“Thank you, Garrus, for everything.” Shepard draped an arm around his shoulders. “You are the only one who has been with me since the beginning and every step of the way. It's been quite a ride.”

“It has.” He had never been good with goodbyes, but Garrus was glad to have a chance to share one last drink with the woman who had become his sister, his best friend. And so, he raised his glass and made a toast, “To all those crazy suicide missions and our Commander Shepard.”

Shepard raised hers. “To the man who has always watched my back with his sniper rifle since day one. There is no Shepard without Vakarian.”

“And no Vakarian without Shepard.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, XO Office

 

When Shepard stepped through the door to her office with a grim look on her face, Miranda could guess what was on the commander's mind.

“Miranda, you have a minute?” asked Shepard.

“Of course.” Miranda motioned at the chair across her.

Shepard sat and went quiet for a moment. Her eyes were bloodshot, the circles under them were dark, her skin a little too pale to be healthy. Despite her numerous implants, the mission had taken a toll on Shepard and it certainly showed.

“We will dock at the Citadel,” the commander began. “And from there... dismiss the crew.”

There it was. The end of a good run.

“Erase all the records,” Shepard continued. “I'm flying back to Earth with the ship, and I don't want the Alliance to find out who is onboard.”

_Protecting her crew til the end._

“Understood.” Miranda studied the commander and noticed a strong current underneath the otherwise calm surface. “Are you sure about this?”

Shepard nodded.

Miranda saw it coming, but she didn't have to like it. “You don't have to do this, Aerin. Have you reconsidered my proposal? I can send the data we have gathered to Hackett and Anderson. We can work with them, if that's what you want, but on our terms.”

“I don't want to be on the run for the rest of my life. Cerberus is already on our tail, I don't need the Alliance to chase after us as well.”

“The brass is only going to bury their heads in the sand. They'll court-martial you for working with Cerberus. Nothing good is going to come out of this, Aerin. You know that.”

“At least I'll give them a warning for inevitable Reapers invasion.”

“ _If_ they will listen.” Miranda shook her head in exasperation.

A tiny smirk suddenly appeared on Shepard's face. “You regret not putting that control chip in my head?”

Miranda shot her a pointed look for the joke. “No. I regret I'm not persuasive enough to talk you out of your stupid plan.”

“Sometimes, the stupid thing is the right thing to do.”

“Ah, Shepard, always playing the hero.”

“I used to pretend to be a hero that saves everyone since I was a kid.”

“You don't have to pretend anymore. Elysium. Citadel. And now, humanity. A bona fide bloody hero.”

“It'll be all for nothing if we don't win the upcoming war.” The sudden exhaustion in Shepard's voice was jarring. Still, the commander composed herself quickly. “So what are you going to do after this?”

“I don't know yet. All my life I've been either under my father's control or working for Cerberus. I've never been on my own, with no one to report to.”

“Think the Illusive Man will let you go that easily?”

“Of course not. I imagine he was less than pleased when he found out about the account...”

“What account?”

“The Lazarus cell was very well funded. I've managed to drain the money from our reserve before the Illusive Man could close the account.”

“Impressive.”

“I was planning to use the money to fund our own operation.” She handed Shepard a datapad. “This is how much we have.”

Shepard arched an eyebrow at the number.

“Just a drop in the bucket compare to what the Illusive Man has spent on you,” Miranda commented airily. “Now that we are scheduled to disband, I suggest we give this to our crew. Most of them will have to start a new life with a new identity. The money will come in handy.”

“Good idea.” Shepard sat back and studied her. “Are you going to be all right?”

“Worry about yourself, Shepard. I have a few tricks up my sleeves.”

Nodding slowly, Shepard glanced around her office. Her gaze lingered on everything as if she was memorizing every detail. “This is it, then...”

“Yes. It is,” Miranda breathed, forcing a tiny smile. “Thank you, Aerin, for everything you have done. For humanity. For my sister.”

“And I couldn't have done anything without you giving me a second chance in life.” Shepard stood from the chair and walked over to her. “I don't think I've ever properly thank you for rebuilding me, Miranda.”

“It's my pleasure, Commander. The best thing I've ever done.”

To her surprise, Shepard opened her arms. “Come here.”

Laughing lightly, Miranda had to ask, “Are you serious?”

“Come on. I don't bite.”

Still chuckling, Miranda stepped up to the body which was once charred and cold. Shepard's embrace was firm and warm, protective yet gentle, every much like the woman herself.

“Take care of yourself, Miranda.”

The tightness in her throat was utterly unexpected. Miranda had to swallow before she could find her voice. “You too, my friend. You too.”

“Stay alive,” Shepard ordered as she stepped back. “If I ever died again, I'd need you to fix me up one more time.”

“Of course. I wouldn't let anyone else to touch my project.”

“No, you wouldn't. And I wouldn't trust anyone else either.”

 

* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, CIC

 

Citadel, where it had all started. Almost three years ago, the original Normandy had taken her to this enormous space station, turning her world upside-down. Now, the successor of her former ship had landed here once again, putting an end to an incredible journey.

Miranda had warned her not to stay at one place more than a few days, for Cerberus had eyes everywhere. But Shepard wasn't planning to stay for long. Once everyone walked out of the airlock for the final time, it'd be time for her to head back to Alliance, head back home. A home she once had longed to return, yet now reluctant to.

_Do the right thing, Shepard. Do the right thing..._

Her crew had gathered around the CIC, saying goodbye to each other, waiting for her to speak. Speech... Shepard hated it, yet she had to. For her crew, for her friends, for those who had become her family. This was her last chance to express her gratitude to those unsung heroes whose deeds would be buried for their safety sake.

No interrogation room for any of her crew, Shepard had determined. If the Alliance was out for blood, they could have hers.

Stepping up onto the platform, Shepard glanced at the map in front, at the places she had been to, then at the faces staring at her eagerly.

“I don't have much to say,” Shepard started, “except 'thank you.' Thank you for believing in me, for risking your lives for humanity. Because of all of you, we have ended the human abductions. But this is just the beginning. We have all seen the truth, and the truth is that the Reapers are coming. I don't know how much time we have, but I know this: We have to be prepared and we have to fight back. We have to – we fight or we die. And I am not going to let humanity or any other race extinct like the Protheans.

So do what you have to, spread the words, prepare for the inevitable. When the time comes, we will kick those bastards back to where they belong. We have beat the odds and survived a suicide mission, and we can do it again. Thank you all for your help. It's been an honor serving with all of you.”  
  


* * *

 

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

He always hated goodbyes. Joker remained on his throne and watched as Shepard walked out of the airlock with Garrus – the last of her team. Mission was over, everyone had to go separate ways. And soon, he would have to part with the ship he had fallen in love with at first sight. Well, and the AI... As much of a pain in the ass as EDI had been when they first met, the AI had proven to be the best co-pilot anyone could ever ask for. Smart, resourceful, and surprisingly funny...

Joker leaned back, feeling the leather seat supporting his back, recalling the first time he had sat on this chair. The first time he had watched Shepard walking through the airlock and onto their new Normandy, their new home.

Soft footsteps against the metal floor announced the arrival of the commander, returning to their ship one last time.

“This is it, huh?” said Joker when Shepard approached. “Just you and me.”

Shepard clasped his shoulder. “Thank you, Joker.”

“Hell of a ride.”

“Yeah... Wish it could end better than this.”

“You don't have to feel all guilty about things, Shepard. It's not your fault. The Alliance brass have their heads stuck so far into their collective asses that they can't see straight even when you shove the truth in front of their faces. Kinda reminds me of the Council. Too bad we can't call the brass and hang up on them.”

“It's easier to be in denial than to face the truth.”

“Yeah, until the truth bites them in their ass and they'll come running to you and ask for help.”

“Let's hope Anderson and Hackett can knock some sense into their heads.”

Joker snorted. “The chance of me winning a dancing competition is higher.”

“You sure you don't want to leave, Joker? I can arrange for an Alliance pilot to fly the ship back to Earth.”

“And have they sit on my chair, hell no!”

Shepard shot him a look. “Joker.”

“Look, Shepard. I know what I'm doing. Yeah, I left them and joined Cerberus, but so what? They grounded me first!”

“I don't even know what they are going to do to me. I can't protect you once we're back on Earth.”

“You don't have to protect me all the time, Commander. If they want to throw me in a brig, they'd better throw me in a cushy one that meets all my medical needs. If not, I'm gonna sue the shit out of them.”

Shepard remained quiet, but there was just a hint of a smile on her face.

“I'm not gonna hand my baby over to some pilot while I can still fly her one last time,” Joker insisted. “I'll be the last to leave my ship-- er your ship.”

“Our ship,” Shepard corrected him quietly. “We'll be the last to leave. Just like old times.”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: The relationships Shepard has with Kaidan, Garrus, Miranda, (and to some extend, Joker and Anderson) are the reasons why I started writing this. Seeing their dynamics evolved is really rewarding. But now it's come to an end. Until they meet again in part 3.

The epilogue is coming up next.

Thank you all for reading!

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  



	46. Epilogue: The Return of a Legend

Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.

 

Epilogue: The Return of a Legend

Year: 2185CE

Location: Normandy SR-2, Bridge

 

Earth. Home of humanity. Population 11.5 billion. 11.5 billion lives – lives that could be all but perished when the Reapers arrived. Like the Protheans before, humanity could be extincted. Or worse, made into mindless slaves.

Yet, there was still hope. If the Alliance started to prepare for the inevitable, those lives could be saved. Time was running out, and they'd better get ready.

Shepard watched as the blue planet grew bigger. Her hands clasped behind her back, her face blank. But within, she could feel the palpitation of her heart and the tightness in her stomach. She was about to head into battle with 11.5 billion lives at stake. And this time, she had to fight not with guns and ammo, but with words and data.

The Council had ignored her warnings. Would the Alliance brass listen to her? Well, they'd better, or else this would be the end of humanity. Clenching her fists, Shepard swallowed hard and pushed all the doubts away.

The Normandy flew closer and closer, taking a gentle turn towards the North America continent. Shades of blues and greens sharpened as the details in Earth's unique terrain started to show.

Earth had never been a home to Shepard. Her home had always been space, be it stations or ships from the moment she was born. Never in one place for more than a few years. The thought of settling down in one place had never even entered her mind until recently. Was she tired of fighting? Perhaps. But however tired she was, the toughest fight in her life was still ahead. And if she didn't win, there would be no future. Not for her, not for the billions of people down on this planet.

The ship had entered the atmosphere, aiming towards the Pacific Coast. Shepard's heart pounded faster and faster, her fists tightened.

Joker's voice was the only sound in the cockpit as he started to communicate with the personnel at the control tower on the ground side. The ship sliced through a thick layer of cloud, descending steadily. Cities along the familiar coastline soon became visible. Portland. Seattle. Victoria. And then... Vancouver. Shepard's lips thinned, her jaw clenched.

Last time they were in Vancouver, Joker had landed in the civilian spaceport to avoid detection. But now, he was flying directly to the Alliance headquarters. Shepard could almost hear Miranda's voice telling her this was the worst idea she'd ever had. Maybe. But for those 11.5 billion lives, Shepard had to do this.

And finally, touchdown. Shepard winced unconsciously as the wheels landed on the runway. The sound of her own heartbeat was deafening. The Normandy taxied to the assigned terminal. Neither the pilot nor the captain had said a word until the ship came to full stop.

Joker turned to Shepard with a concern look in his bright green eyes. “You sure about this?”

“It's too late change my mind, isn't it?” Shepard mumbled, taking in a quiet deep breath to calm her nerves. “Besides, it can't be worse than being spaced.”

“Pfft. If you put it that way.” Joker adjusted his cap then reported, “All the records has been wiped clean, except for info on Cerberus. Check this out. Hey, EDI, tell me about Cerberus.”

“Specify,” said the AI.

“Never mind that,” said Joker. “Now, give me a list of the people on Shepard's team.”

“No data available,” EDI played along.

“Geez, I guess there's a virus in the system,” Joker muttered his scripted replied. “Better run a diagnostic.”

“So EDI knows how to lie?” said Shepard.

“Well, more like withholding the truth,” her pilot clarified. “But, yes. She can be crafty, Shepard. Don't piss her off.”

A thought suddenly occurred to her. “The Alliance doesn't like AIs, much less an unshackled one. Will EDI be all right?”

“About that...” A sly smirk flashed across Joker's face. “Well, EDI and I came up with a plan. We're going to pretend she's a VI.”

EDI added seamlessly, “I am programmed to only respond to the commands of Mr. Moreau, making Jeff indispensable.”

“See?” Joker wiggled an eyebrow. “Told you she's crafty.”

“I'm impressed. Good work, both of you.” Shepard turned to face the camera in the cockpit as if she was looking directly at the AI. “Thanks for all your help, EDI.”

“You are welcome,” said EDI. “Logging you out, Shepard.”

“Delete the log,” Shepard ordered.

“That was a joke,” EDI replied. “Our conversation was not recorded. Goodbye, Commander.”

“So, this is it, huh?” Joker got out of the pilot seat and hobbled a step forward until he stood in front of Shepard. “You know I don't usually do this, but...” His expression took a serious turn as he gave her a salute. “It's been an honor, Commander.”

Shepard returned the gesture. “The honor is all mine, Mr. Moreau.” Smiling fondly, Shepard put a gentle hand on Joker's shoulder and gave it a squeeze as she always did before she took off for missions. “Take care, Jeff. And don't forget your meds.”

Her pilot smirked, although his eyes were sad. “I won't, Mom.”

Shepard turned and left the cockpit, only to pause by the airlock, taking one last look at the ship that had been her home. The once busy CIC was now empty. For just a second, Shepard could almost see Miranda walking by with a datapad in her hands, Garrus and Zaeed talking about explosives on their way to the bar, Grunt looking for food...

They were gone now.

It was time for her to leave as well. Shepard took a deep breath to steel herself, and exited her ship.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Dock, Alliance Headquarters, Vancouver, Earth

 

“Admirals.” Shepard offered a perfect salute to the two men waiting for her by the gate.

Behind Anderson and Hackett stood a few guards and a man Shepard had never met before.

Hackett extended a hand which Shepard took for a firm shake. “Welcome back to the Alliance, Commander.”

“Good to see you again, Shepard,” said Anderson. A hint of fatherly concern was shown through the admiral's otherwise stoic face as he looked over Shepard. “I'm glad to you're back in one piece. Nice work out there.”

“Thank you for putting a stop to the human abductions, Commander,” said Hackett.

“Just doing my job, sir,” said Shepard. “Our trouble is far from over. The Reapers are coming, and we have to--”

“Commander Shepard.”

Shepard frowned at the interruption.

The man she didn't recognize introduced himself, “Major Caleb Antella, Internal Naval Affairs.”

_Dammit, not now._

“Not now, Major.” Her thought was echoed aloud by her mentor. Anderson waved a hand before Antella could say another word. “I need to speak to the commander.”

“But sir--”

The glare Anderson gave could freeze anyone. “I believe a classified debriefing takes precedence over your investigation, Major.”

“Yes sir,” the major conceded and stepped back, although his eyes never left Shepard.

Years of field experience had honed her intuition. Shepard could sense trouble, and this man certainly was one. But Shepard was far from being fazed, she had more pressing concerns.

“Come with me, Shepard,” said Anderson.

One of the guards stepped up with a pair of handcuffs. “Sir, if I may.”

_Are you serious?_

“Is that necessary?” asked Anderson, sounding less than pleased.

“The order was given--”

“At ease, son,” Hackett ordered. “If the commander wanted to escape, she wouldn't volunteer to come back.”

“The ship is all yours, sir,” Shepard told Hackett. “Joker knows more about the Normandy than anyone else. He'll show you around.” _You need him. Don't you dare court-martial my pilot._

“Understood, Commander.”

“Are you ready?” asked Anderson.

“Lead the way,” Shepard replied.

The pair walked away from the rest. Neither spoke until they were out of earshot.

“Quite a welcoming party,” Shepard quipped. “The IA sure rolled out the red carpet.”

Anderson snorted. “They've been itching to get their hands on you. This shit you've done--”

“You know I had to,” Shepard cut him off.

“--you deserve a goddamned medal for it,” her mentor continued without missing a beat despite her interruption. “But the IA, they are a bunch of stubborn sons of bitches.”

“Can you at least hold them off until I have a meeting with the brass?”

“I would if I could. Admiral Hackett has issued a direct order to keep Major Antella and his team from contacting you. But now that you're here, it's fair game.”

“The Reapers are coming, Anderson. I don't have time for this.”

“I've read your report, and I believe you. But, hell, you have to admit your story is one tough pill to swallow. The Council has been denying the existence of Reapers for two years, even after Sovereign smashed right through their chamber. You can't expect the brass to accept an invasion of a mythical creatures based on your words alone.”

Shepard scowled. “Don't tell me we're gonna sit on our hands and wait for the Reapers to knock on our door.”

“I'm not saying it's impossible to convince them, Aerin. But it'll take time.”

“We're running out of time.”

“Let me handle the brass. You deal with the IA.”

The IA. She almost forgot about that problem. “What do they have on me?”

“Evidence of your connection with Cerberus. Flying around in that shiny new ship of yours is bound to catch unnecessary attention.”

“And I've delivered my ship right to the Alliance doorstep.”

“That's not enough,” said Anderson, frowning. “I won't lie to you – they are out for blood, Shepard.”

“Court martial?”

“Right now, they don't have enough to nail you, so they will keep pressing. Give them something to prove your loyalty.”

“You know I won't tell them the names of my associates. My team worked for me, not Cerberus.”

“I know. And I don't want you to,” said Anderson, shooting her a meaningful glance. “Give them something else – anything about Cerberus and the Illusive Man. Anything that will shift their attention away from you.”

“Guilty until proven innocence,” Shepard muttered under her breath. “I'll play nice. For now.”

“One more thing.” Anderson looked behind them before he continued, “Have you heard from Alenko?”

“Haven't seen him since Horizon.” The answer came out as smoothly as if it's the truth.

Anderson nodded knowingly. “Good. Keep it that way.”

“I agree.” _Keep Kaidan away from this mess._ “If you see him, tell him his former CO sends her regards.” _Tell him I'm okay._

“Will do.”

Shepard handed him a data disk. “Here's a copy of everything I have on the Reapers. Tell Admiral Hackett to contact Liara T'Soni. She'll help us.”

“Matriarch Benezia's daughter? The archaeologist?”

“She's an information broker now.” That wasn't exactly a lie. “She can give you information that would take the Alliance intel department weeks to gather. We could use her help.”

A skeptical look flashed across the older man's face.

“Liara can be trusted,” said Shepard. “I am still here because of her.”

“Understood.”

“I did everything I could. It's up to you now, Anderson.”

“We'll get you out of this mess asap.”

“Don't make me regret coming back.”

“You did the right thing.” He clasped her shoulder and gave it a firm pat. “Welcome home, child,” said the man who had been a father figure to her in the past decade. “Welcome home.”

Yes. Shepard was home. At last.  
  


* * *

 

Location: Interrogation Room, Alliance Headquarters, Vancouver, Earth

 

“Commander Shepard.” The man sat across from Shepard. The only table in the room separated them. “We've met earlier. Major Caleb Antella, Internal Naval Affairs.”

Shepard nodded.

“I've heard a lot things about you, Commander. I have to admit I don't even know where to begin.”

Still, Shepard didn't say one word. She merely held his gaze evenly.

“Let's start from the beginning, shall we?” said the major, undaunted by her silence. “Your disappearance after the destruction of SSV Normandy. Where have you been for the past two years?”

“Dead.”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me. Dead.” Shepard explained in a monotonic voice as though she was reading the most mundane report, “The Normandy was attacked and destroyed. I was spaced. My body was burned beyond recognition when it was discovered.”

Antella scowled, half in disbelief, half in confusion. “But... you're... alive. Not dead.”

“Not anymore.”

“...How? And you said your body was discovered? By whom?”

Shepard looked into the man's eyes. They were sharp and skeptical, as any investigator worth their salt should be. Would he even believe her story? Probably not. But if he wanted the truth, she would give him the truth.

“Do you want a long version of the story, or a short one?”

Antella leaned forward, still skeptical, yet now somewhat intrigued. “Tell me everything.”

Shepard shifted in her seat, making herself as comfortable as she could be on the metal chair. _This is going to be a long night. First of many._

Let the endless dance begin.

 

* * *

 

Year: 2186CE

Location: Courtyard, Alliance Headquarters, Vancouver, Earth

 

Snow hard started to drift from the cloudy sky. Although modest comparing to the festive downtown, Christmas decorations around the Alliance compound provided just a touch of warmth to the otherwise militarist environment. Strings of colorful lights were draped on a pine tree in the courtyard. Standing at his usual sport near the outdoor Christmas tree, Kaidan Alenko glanced up at the building in front. His gaze settled on one particular window, now lit as early winter sunset had already darkened the sky at 1500 hour. Within that room was a woman he had not seen for two months.

By Anderson's orders, Kaidan was forbidden to contact Shepard. No visitations, no calls, not even a message could be passed to the commander. No direct communication.

A faint beep from his omni-tool stole his attention from the window afar. A new message had arrived, informing him that his order had been delivered and received at 1435. By now, Shepard should have a package from a local chocolatier. No name, no note, only a few packs of hot chocolate mix and a box of chocolate. No direct communication.

Although far above, Kaidan could see a shadow appeared by the window as if the person was looking outside. A rare smile appeared by itself on his face.

_I miss you._

It was time to head to the dock. The shuttle was scheduled to take off soon, taking him to Grissom Academy for yet another round of interviews with potential recruits.

Kaidan looked at that particular window one last time. The shadow had retreated back into the room.

_Happy New Year, Aerin. I'll see you soon._   
  


* * *

 

Location: Detention Center, Alliance Headquarters, Vancouver, Earth

 

“Another package, Commander,” said Shepard's guard as he walked into the room that had become her 'home' in the past four months. “Your chocolate fix is here.”

_Kaidan._

Her eyes lit up. But Shepard had to be careful. Her every move was monitored, her words recorded, even when she was alone, locked in the room.

Shifting her gaze from the datapad she was reading, Shepard put on a well-practiced poker face and asked, “Did you scan it?”

“Well, _I_ didn't. The security did. It's not a bomb or anything.” He handed her a small box. “The usual.”

A smile on Shepard's face was rare these days. Yet, there was just a hint of it, however brief it lasted, when the box was in her hands.

_I miss you, too._

“Thanks, James.” She put the package aside as as nonchalantly as she could. “Remember to write it in your report.”

“Yeah, sure.” A good-natured smirk appeared on her guard's rugged face. “'Received a box of hot chocolate mix at 1400 hour. From Captain Shepard.' How exciting.”

_Major Alenko._ Shepard was not about to correct him, though. If he thought it was from her mother, all the better. It's not surprising how James had arrived to the logical – albeit wrong – conclusion. After all, Shepard only had three visitors so far: Anderson, Hackett, and her mother.

“What can I say? My life is full of excitements these days,” Shepard commented with enough sarcasm that would make Garrus proud.

She studied the young man who had been her shadow for a past four months. James Vega was his name. A well-built soldier in his mid twenties, someone who should be anything but a glorified jail guard. Yet, here he was, following her day in and day out ever since she had been incarcerated. It was all because of Anderson, Shepard was told. The admiral had handpicked not just her guard, but also the room she was in. A comfortable room with a nice view to the courtyard.

Not a bad place to live, if you could overlook the lack of freedom, the constant surveillance, and the endless interrogations.

Vega gestured toward the door. “Anyway, we should get going. Your session starts in ten.”

“Again?” Shepard scowled.

She hated her sessions with the shrink about as much as she hated those unless interrogations. It was nothing but a waste of time; time she should be spending on preparing for the war. But still, Shepard had no choice but to comply. If she wanted to be reinstated, the doctor had to sign her off first.

In other words, she'd better play nice.

“Is not that bad, is it?” asked Vega with a shrug. “I mean, the doc seems nice.”

To that, Shepard only snorted. “It's just a nicer form of interrogation, James. They've asked me the same questions a thousand times. And now they're verifying every details with a human lie detector.”

“At least the doc has a more comfortable couch than those chairs in the interrogation rooms, no?” Vega opened the locked door. “After you, Commander.”

“You're not supposed to call me that anymore.”

“Not supposed to salute you, either. But, hell, you deserve the respect. It's only a matter of time before they reinstate you, ma'am. They can't keep Commander Shepard down forever.”

_No, they can't._ “Come on,” said Shepard, walking out of her prison with her head held high. “Let's get this over with.”

  
  


* * *

 

A/N: That's it. The end of part 2. Took me more than a year to write this monster. It's been quite a ride. The fun part was to make it an AU version of the canon story, to rewrite Kaidan and Shepard's story, also to evolve Miranda as a character, and to develop Garrus and Shepard BFF bromance. Hope you had fun reading.

Part 3 of the trilogy is coming up. Stay tune. If you want an alert for part 3, and you don't want to follow me here or on tumblr, send me an email and I'll tell you when the story is up.

Anyway, as always, thank you so much for reading! And a special thanks to those of you who have left me reviews to show your support! That's what keeps me going when I run out of fuel.

Contact info: gmail – pinoko19, tumblr – pinoko-k.

  
  


  
  



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